Conflicts at workplaces on the rise. Perhaps you are carefully navigating opportunities trying to avoid.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602to avoid
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Unhealthy work environment. It's time to dig into this so we can successfully navigate job interviews, avoid mistakes on conflict related questions as many of you have experienced. What's your take? Where do you stand? Are you conflict oriented or do you know how to professionally navigate away from that?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602away from?
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Let's find a better place to call home for our work. Karen Hurt joins us today to help us get there. Karen is the CEO and Founder of Let's Grow Leaders, a global human-centered leadership development company known for practical tools in training that sticks. Her expertise has been featured in. Numerous national media outlets, including the Wall Street Journal, Forbes entrepreneur, fast Company, and many more. Karen was recently named one of Inc's lists, 100 great leadership speakers. Congratulations, Karen. On top of all of that, she has co-authored several books with her husband, David Die, including Courageous Cultures. Winning and the new book, powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict. As you can tell, she's an expert. Welcome Karen, to the job interview experience.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602Oh, so delighted to be here. Looking forward to this conversation.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602We all have skills, our hard skills that we bring to the workplace to help employers move forward. I wanna start off by talking about soft skills. What soft skills are most valuable in today's job market, especially when it comes to navigating or avoiding conflict in the workplace?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602in the workplace? Yeah. When you think about job skills, There's so much focus right now on things that computers can do, right? And so you've got this transition to AI and new technologies and all this. And in that context, there are a couple things that only humans can do that AI cannot replace. Are we creating that genuine connection? Are we collaborating and are we thinking of new ideas and looking at new ways of doing things? Because technology, AI is looking backwards, right? And so if you can differentiate yourself in a job search and say, how can I bring humanity to work? Build connection, build collaboration, and be innovative, bring new ideas, and. They encourage and tap into the ideas of other people. You are definitely setting yourself up for a competitive advantage as you are interviewing.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Soft skills are incredibly important and in the hiring industry, it's becoming, I would say, one of the biggest focuses. Companies are. Equally or even more focused on soft skills and hard skills because if you're great at doing something, but you're terrible to get along with, you are conflict oriented. You don't take feedback well, that's just not gonna work. So we see soft skills are this growing focus. How can people self-assess are, do I have good soft skills or don't I, what's a good way to
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602to
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602self-assess and then make changes?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602Yeah, so the first thing I would do is to really ident when you soft skills can be very broad. What are a couple of specific skills that you're really curious about? Is it your communication? Is your collaboration, is it the way you are having difficult conversations? Like where do you suspect that you may have an opportunity or where is the strength that you would really like to build on and be able to showcase in your job interview? And one of the things we do in our leadership development programs is encourage people to go do what we call a DIY 360 or do it yourself 360 or a listening tour. So identify one or two areas that you're like, I am really curious how I'm being perceived in this area, and you wanna be as specific as possible. As opposed to saying, is there anything I can do to be a better leader? Or is there anything I can do to improve my communication? Those are very broad and very difficult for people to answer, but if you could get super specific, like what's one way that I am really showing up strong for our team? What's one way that I'm really supportive of you as your manager? And what's one thing that I could do differently to be even more effective? And if you can go in with that, like very specific, what's one thing that's really working for you in the way I'm running our meetings and what's one thing that I could do to really make our meetings get better results in that people wanna attend and ask some people with diverse perspectives. So you, if you can ask your boss, you can ask some coworkers. If you have direct reports, you can ask those direct reports. And what you're looking for is the themes. What are people saying consistently? Because whether you like it or not, that's your leadership brand or that's your employee brand, your personal brand. And what I always, when I'm hearing about feedback from people, one of the words I look for is, but what's happening after the, but he's an amazing salesperson. Right. He really does not collaborate well with his support team. She is such a nice collaborator. She gets along with everyone, but she has trouble holding people accountable. And it's what comes after the, but that you really wanna pay attention to so that you can begin to overcome some of those negative perceptions.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602I like that idea of asking For some people they think that opens them up to be viewed in a negative light, right? Asking your boss, Hey, do you have any feedback on me? I'm working to improve I'm focusing on my soft skills. To me, an employee that does that, asking growth oriented questions, self-improvement. The fact of the matter is none of us are perfect, right? Especially you and me, but the people who try and be better, especially when it benefits the employer, those are incredibly valuable people. Because if, especially if you can self-identify or ask for feedback and make improvement, that shows you're open to learning, you're open to change. And when you do that, like that sales person, it's not a great collaborator. If they would say, Hey.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602if they would say, Hey,
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Do you have any feedback on me, on my soft skills or things I can do better to make this a healthier work environment, whatever else. And I say, yeah, people, you don't reply to emails, you don't take calls, whatever it is, it's probably a nicer way to say that. And it's okay, I'm gonna try and make those changes that can actually do a lot for job security. And I think also just
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602just
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602if you take that to heart and make those changes, you'll be more effective. So I wouldn't shy away from asking. And you said the self-assessment as well. I think that a lot of times we just forget to do it. Like we forget to think about What's my pattern? Like for, I know for me one of mine is interrupting. I've gotten better at it because of the podcast. I would not be able to have these conversations and have great guests if I did it a lot. If I'm out with a bunch of friends and we're excited and we're talking, I know it's, I'm a terrible interrupter and I work on it constantly and I've gotten a little bit better. But if I didn't self-assess on that, I think I'd be a pretty miserable person overall 'cause I would be interrupting constantly. But. If I didn't take the time to think that through and care enough to change. nothing good would happen there.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602Yeah, I totally agree. One of the things that I really encourage people to do in their careers is, at the beginning of the year or when you get a take on a new job, you're just starting a new job. Or beginning of a quarter, you pick a time that feels like the right time. And I did this, so I was at Verizon for 20 years before I founded Let's Grow Leaders. And I had some pretty big jobs. I had a 2200 person sales team, a 10,000 person customer service organization. And I was always asking this question of my bosses, what would it take for we get to the end of this year? And you're like, oh, wow, that was an extraordinary year. What? Is necessary in terms of outcomes. Which of these metrics are the ones that you really want me to blow away, and what is it about the way that I have showed up in this role? And just asking that question, first of all, it does a couple of things. One, you get a sense of how you're being perceived from that and what your strengths to build on and opportunities. But also if they have clearly defined what extraordinary looks like. And then you have done those extraordinary things. When it is time to get the rating, you're like you defined extraordinary. If they don't give you the rating you want you defined extraordinary. I did extraordinary. why is this a meets, right?
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602This next question is an incredibly important interview question. It's becoming more common, and you can answer this the right way, but if you're not mature, it's only gonna get you so far. But I think we have to cover this right away. Job seekers worry about this, or some of 'em don't even see it coming an interview question tell me about a time you faced conflict at work, or, Can you tell me about a situation you were in where you had conflicting views with a peer? How did you resolve that? Can you share a framework for how to approach or structure an appropriate professional response that showcases conflict resolution skills?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602skills. Yeah, so when you're asked that question, the first thing that I would do is. Think about a conflict that you had that had a positive outcome, right? Because you are gonna, get nervous in a job interview and you get squirreled around and then you're like and I never did resolve that. And the guy was just a complete, a-hole, right? That's not how you wanna end this. Anytime you're doing, and I'm sure you talk about this all the time, is think about the situation. That you wanna showcase And the end of the story that it was a positive thing and I had something to do with that. So what I would do is think about a conflict that you had in the past that actually you feel really good about how you contributed to a better, successful outcome. And then in our book, powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict, we talk about four dimensions of productive conflict. And so I would think about how did those dimensions play in. Are we connected as human beings is one of the dimensions. So how did, in that conflict, did you create a human connection? Did you show up a little more vulnerable? Did you really show up interested in the other human being? Did you really want to make a connection and create common ground? So connection and then clarity. Most conflict comes from an expectation violation of some sort or another. Expect you to do this, you did that. So when you think about what made this conflict resolved. Was there something that you did or that you did collectively to align on a shared vision of success? And because if you can pull in a story No, I'm not telling you to make stuff up, but if you actually did this right, how did we align a shared vision of success? I would wanna hire somebody anytime, who is one of those visionary people who can get people aligned. So connection, clarity. The next is curiosity. And if I were interviewing someone and asking about the conflict, I would be very interested. Did they go in only stuck on their point of view, or did they show up? Genuinely Curious about alternatives? And other people's perspectives and looking for a different way to do this? And then the last one is commitment. How do you move a conflict to a shared agreement? And if you're struggling to say we did have a conflict and it got better, but I don't even really know what we did. I would start with those four dimensions, connection, clarity, curiosity, commitment, and pull out your stories from there. And then you could say, I've actually studied a bit about conflict and I know there's a couple of dimensions that really matter. And I'll tell you the ones that really worked here for me is we really showed up curious, and then we moved towards commitment. And you're like they're saying, wow, this person really knows what they're talking about. and then of course, in a conflict conversation, you wanna use all the other. Skills you've been talking about on your other podcast episodes, right? That you know you wanna take ownership. You wanna show it with confidence and humility, but not oh, this was all me, if there were a bunch of other people who also collaborated. You wanna bring some of that in too so that you're showing up as a team player.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Let's take a step back before the question, and actually if you could help us with some phrasing or some strategy within the workplace. I have listeners that have, and people, I know that they are not conflict oriented at all, and when something comes up outta nowhere, someone's really hot and they're like a deer in the headlights. Maybe someone comes up and says, Hey, I don't want you talking to people on my team so much, or the emails you're sending with me and the CEO, This is super annoying. Like you're, stop doing whatever you're doing. Whatever might be someone who's really hot in the workplace. When I say hot, coming into your office. They're at a hundred out of a hundred. You're at like one out of a hundred. You're just doing your thing. When that happens, what are some effective ways, especially. For those of us that don't have the right response right away. Like that perfect worded answer that comes to you two days later doesn't come up right away. What's a mature way to help diffuse the situation and maybe understand it a little bit better? Do you have any phrasing or suggestions for a situation like that?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602Yeah, so you're talking about deescalating an emotional conversation. So somebody comes in and they are all fired up. One of the best phrases you can use is, tell me more. And that seems so counterintuitive 'cause you don't actually want to hear more because they're already screaming at you. But when people are loud, either they're loud emotionally, they're actually loud, they're using loud words that start with the letter F, right? That loudness is a signal that I don't feel like I'm being heard. And so if you can very calmly. Say, gosh, can you tell me some more about that? And sincerely, they're gonna calm down because now they don't have to scream to be heard 'cause you've just invited them to tell you more. Another is to call the emotion out. I've noticed that your voice is really elevated. I've noticed that you used the FBO three times in this first paragraph since you've walked into my office. And I'm curious what's going on for you? So you're creating some clarity, but then you're really showing up curious. And the other is you can do a reflect to connect on the emotional level. It sounds to me like you're really frustrated about this. Do I have that right? Or it sounds to me like you're really frustrated what's going on? How can I be most helpful here? And anything that helps create that connection of being seen. But you have the right to, if is a toxic, if there's bullying or toxic, behavior, if they're treating you in a way that you do not wanna be treated. You can also create some clarity. Hey, I've noticed that you're screaming at me and you're pounding your fist on my desk. I can't, that's a hard note. this is not how we're gonna communicate. So can we figure out a way that we can calm down? Maybe let's have this conversation in 10 minutes, but let's have this as two professional human beings in this conversation and ask for what you need. 'cause you don't have to tolerate that escalated ness either.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602I really like that. Help me more. Part two, and obviously it's not one size fits all. It probably depends and you have some different tools there, but I can see a lot of times people are just mad 'cause they don't like you or they're mad 'cause like they found something to be mad about. And that re like when you're asked that, it's like you have to dig deeper for a bigger reason. So it's I might be mad because an email you sent.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602you sent
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602And you kinda say that, right? This email you sent is bs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's tell me more. Where it's what else? What else is there? Really, I'm just mad and I can think that moment maybe I would hope would bring some clarity to the person who's the offender and say right deescalate. this really bothered me because it made me look bad or you look good or didn't, It didn't emphasize my work enough in the situation, but I think
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602but I think
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602You're asking that person to almost create a defense in a very non-offensive way. Can you tell me what about this itself makes you mad? Emails don't make you mad. We all talk to each other. That obviously wouldn't make you mad. So what is it? Can you tell me more? And I think sometimes people then they think through it and they're like, oh, I guess that's just kind of it. So that's a, I really like that phrasing.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602Yeah. And another is, what would a successful outcome do for you? So if somebody's really upset about something and you, so you're pulling them towards solution, but you're not just saying what a success look like, but what is it, what is their hidden motivation like? A successful outcome would make my boss respect me more successful outcome would mean that I don't have to work until eight o'clock at night every day on this project. So there's you're getting a conversation at a deeper connected level with that.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Your research shows that workplace conflict is on the rise. Why do you think that is?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602Yeah we did the World Workplace Conflict and Collaboration Survey. It was 5,000 people in 45 countries to ask a number of questions, and one was, is conflict getting worse? And 70% said that conflict is the same, worse, or significantly worse than it was. Just a couple of years ago, and when we dug underneath of that and felt, to ask what was really going on, a lot of it is poor management practices. and then before you get down on your managers, it is way harder to be a manager now than it was before because it's so much more complicated. So much remote work. We've got big changes in new technologies. All these conflict cocktails all happening at the same time. Another said, post pandemic stress and anxiety. There's a lot of that going on. And so a conflict that might not have been a big deal in the past if you were already overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, feeling disconnected for choosing your bubble over the last couple of years, and now you're reentering it, but you're still working remotely. And all of that has different kinds of impacts for people. So knowing that all that is going on is also creating anxiety and another is just this lack of shared expectations in this new world of work. So we are seeing a whole breed of conflict cocktails as we call them, about things that like I expect that we're having a one-on-one. I expect you to put your cameras on Now. We've never talked about that, but you turn out your camera off and I've got like, why are you disrespecting me? Why don't you even care enough to put your camera on? and I'm thinking we know each other pretty well that I've had my camera on all day with our customers. This is the one moment that I can turn my camera off and eat my sandwich while we have our one-on-one. And all that is we haven't reached alignment on shared expectations, and then we're making assumptions work from home policy or work from anywhere. Policy actual example of a company had a work from anywhere policy. That is fine. You can work anywhere as long as you're getting your work done. On LinkedIn, this person said, look, our company has this wonderful work from anywhere policy. Here I am at the petting zoo, literally holding the Zoom call and a laptop on one petting a pony on the other hand, writing it on LinkedIn, and then responding to everybody's comments all day long. That's really not the intent of the work from anywhere policy. And the coworkers were getting ticked off. They're like, he's not responding to my email in three days, but there he is responding to everybody on the LinkedIn new conflicts. So I think that, part of that is equipping not just managers, but everyone to how do we clarify expectations? How do we reach shared agreements? How do we communicate consistently so we have better collaboration?
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602You talk quite a bit about remote work and many interviews these days are virtual, and then a lot of times you get the job and maybe it's fully remote, maybe it's hybrid, but I've seen a lot of the things that you said. There's a breakdown in communications. It's like a whole new world of work, right? Like the camera thing. Some people are just shy, or to be honest, they wanna wear their comfy t-shirt and so they don't wanna turn the camera on.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602turn.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602when it comes to conflict with these things, or even non-virtual work related conflicts that happen, how can job seekers effectively manage conflict when they're in a workplace environment? And typically this would be a sit down with somebody, right? Or just a quick pop in the office or clarify something in the office setting.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602the office setting.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602How do we do that in a virtual world?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602virtual world? Yeah, so it's very similar. So the conversations are the same whether you're virtual or in person, right? But I think we skip over some of these when we're, we tend to it. It can be something that happens. So for example, if you were walking into a conference room with people, you would start generally with some level of connections. Hey, you know how's it going? Oh, how was your weekend? But sometimes we just pop into a team meeting and bam, we're off to the races and we start with a, exactly, just jump right into the work and there's not that human connection or, the same thing at the end of the meeting. And so creating very deliberate ways for people to think about and being deliberate about communication. We, in one of our training programs where we're talking about connection. One of the things we do, just to give this as an example, is we, before we even start, we're like, okay, everybody here. Okay, great. First thing we're gonna do is we're gonna put you in some breakout rooms with three other people, and you're gonna answer one of these two questions. You get to choose what is a source of strength inspiration and strength for you right now, either personally or professionally, or what is one thing that you were really proud of over the last six months. Bam. Put 'em in the rooms, right? Cold open into that. 10 minutes later, come back, everybody looks different. When they come back, they're laughing, they're smiling. And then the point is that took 10 minutes and it, so it doesn't take long to create that human connection. And then the, another thing that managers can do, and we do this in every training program we run, we are this meeting, we are going to end this training on time. And we are going to stay behind till everyone is gone. So just like we, if we were in a conference room together, if you have something that you wanna talk about in a more intimate way, just hang back. And, because that's what we found was missing when we transitioned to some of this virtual training. But managers can do the same thing and you may have somebody say, Hey, even if three people hang back. And you're like, great. What I'm gonna do now is I'll set up, and then I'm gonna give you a call and we're gonna do that. So you have that sort of after effect. So that connection is one big one and then the others really if expectations aren't clear, you don't have to wait for your manager to clarify, ask for clarification. Let me just check for understanding when you say this report Needs to be done soon. Is that like soon by noon or is that soon? By next Wednesday. And to create that clarity.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Yeah, asap, right? Everything is asap.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602Asap, right? Everything is asap.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Have you identified any red flags for of companies? That might have a bad culture of conflict, high conflict, high stress culture, any red flags that job seekers could kinda get on their radar and look out for when they are interviewing, applying, researching.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602the first thing I would do is to ask, they may ask you about a conflict scenario that you've had, but you can also ask, what is the culture like here? when people have different points of view and disagreements. how does that show up? How do they talk about things. Is it acceptable to disagree with your boss? ask those kinds of questions if that stuff is really important to you. If it is important for you to work in a highly collaborative environment. Say, it's really important for me to work in a highly collaborative environment. I wanna really show up as a team player. What are some of the things that you do here to make that work well? And what are some of the biggest challenges that you see for people getting along? one of the things that we see is we work with a lot of really fast growing companies in many of those cases, the collaboration worked super well when they were in startup mode. now that they've grown, maybe a hundred people, there is a level of frustration of, oh, we used to just be able to pull everybody in a room and now I gotta go through my boss So if there's something that is changing that you've noticed about the company, you could also say that. See, I have noticed that you guys have moved from 40 to 400 people in the last year. I'm really curious, how's that showing up for your culture? That's a wise question to ask and see what they say.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602My observation has been that a lot of companies when it comes to improving, growing. Just like even I mentioned earlier, how can I improve here? What are some soft skills I can improve on? A lot of times we focus on the negative, and so the people who are conflict oriented. Start fights. They might be the ones that are pointed towards tools to help them get better. In my opinion, those tools are maybe even more empowering for people who are the opposite and are scared to death of conflict and are bullied. Those are the people who I think can, even from you saying, tell me more, things like that, that can be even more empowering for them, especially as
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602for them, especially
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602they are the innocent party. But they might not know how to deal with that and they just.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602deal with that, and they
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Often get walked over or beat up in these situations by the overpowering, I'll just use the word, workplace kind of bullies that are louder or more aggressive or more assertive. So for listeners, my hope is that especially all people who are conflict oriented, get with it and get better, but those who seem like they're on the receiving end, both parties, what are resources or tools that you recommend for. Professionals, whether they're job seekers currently employed or outta college, anywhere in their career, what are some good tools for them to either improve themselves or be more empowered in dealing with people who bring conflict to the workplace?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602conflicts to the workplace? our book is. Designed in a couple of ways. It introduces the four dimensions of a productive conflict, which I talked about, but then you go to the table of contents and you just can say, am I in acute conflict emergency? Is somebody bullying me? Is somebody gossiping? Am I dealing with a matrix organization where expectations aren't clear? My feeling invisible is my boss not making a decision. Go to the table, contents, go to the chapter, and we give you a way to approach these and options, right? So you can't script every conflict. But here, start with connection, then move to curiosity now com Commitment and it gives you, we have over 300 powerful phrases. Of course that is one. The other is Thomas Kilman assessment is a conflict assessment and actually worked with Ralph Kilman when we were doing research for our book, and I asked him if we're allowed to call him the grandfather of conflict. And because, he's been at this a long time. And he said, yes, he's proud to be the grandfather of conflict, but what he really talks about in addition to this assessment, which it's called the TKI, and you can think about your conflict styles and the conflict styles of other people and how can you work with across different kinds of styles. Are you collaborating? Are you competing right? And to be aware of what's happening from a dynamic. But his more advanced work talks about are there situations that are structural? Are you trying to solve a interpersonal challenge with a structural problem? and so if there's structural problems, then don't get caught up in the interpersonal. Let's work on trying to say, be real clear. Hey, there's a structure here that is making this hard for us. This isn't personal, but how are we gonna work together in this structure? It was fascinating. last night we were on a conversation with a guy who runs training organization in Malaysia, and he was asking how we could use our synergy stack cards, which are habit cards around these dimensions of collaboration for a really serious situation they had. the bottom line is you had two teams. They were competing. For compensation. they were internal, but they were competing in a sales organization for the same customers. And it was creating a radical amount of conflict. Just telling people that you should be nice and get to know each other as human beings, just going bowling with them is not gonna solve that problem. You've got to talk about what is actually happening and work to create collaborative solutions. Because one of the bosses was just saying. You just gotta do for the greater good of the company. When you're compensating people on commission that's not realistic, right? So you need to be able to say, okay, this is what it is. We're not gonna be able to change it. So how can we collaborate to get a, what does success look like for you in this scenario? Kinds of conversations.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602I am super embarrassed. I'm so glad I didn't say something out loud. I was gonna ask if your new book has phrasing or sentences to help with conflict resolution and then the. Title of Karen's book is Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict. My huge preference is I like to learn how, but it's also for me, it's like show me how, tell me, like gimme some actual wording that I can use and incorporate. So your newest book is Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict, and I think it's a safe assumption that you have some example phrases in there. Is that right? For listeners and readers.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602300 plus Powerful
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602I love that. When is that book released?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602It's available everywhere in paperback audio Kindle.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602We will link to that in this episode's description. How can listeners connect with you or your organization to learn beyond just your new book that you just released?
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602new book that you just wrote. Yeah, so the our company's called Let's Grow Leaders and on LinkedIn. I'm Karen with an I Hurt and would love to connect. Every week we, if you wanna subscribe to our blog, every week we put out an article, a podcast and asking for a friend video series.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602I'm not an expert in this field at all, Karen is, but here's my advice to listeners. If you are the person I described where you seem to be on the receiving end of this more than the offending end of this,
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602end of
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602there's not like a, there's no right time to start learning about it, learning about this after something bad happens. Puts you kinda on your back foot. So I think adopting this and like a book like this, starting to learn how to deal with this, it will happen. And so being ahead of the curve, not being so reactive, but proactive, unfortunately I think people are losing touch with some of their just good manners. And this is showing up in the workplace.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602up in the
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602Karen's research is showing, conflict is on the rise. So a tool like this. will help you in your job search as you even learning how to interact during an interview if things get a little tense, if people are rude or late, but overall, for job sustainability, for dealing with that. It seems like every workplace has at least one person. Be proactive And get ahead of this. And I say that because it'll put you in a better place. I think you will be more comfortable. I don't like workplace bullies or rude people or anything like that, but they exist. It's just a fact of life. It seems like they are multiplying, that's where tools like this really help you when something bad happens and it could escalate at work because you just don't know quite what to say or how to deal with it.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602say or how to deal
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602These tools help you. I think with job sustainability, being able to navigate things and even hopefully get along with those people who don't have these same tools and will interact with you at one point or another
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602with you at one point or another. Very well said.
matthew_1_06-21-2024_100602before we go. Would you share any final thoughts, words of encouragement or motivation that you might have for our listeners as they absorb this information? Check out your resources and move forward in their job search and career.
squadcaster-hdd0_1_06-21-2024_110602Yeah. The very first thing I would say is the most important conversation, the most important powerful phrase, or dealing with workplace conflict are the conversations that you have with yourself. It's, often so easy to say, they'll never understand they're not gonna care about it anyway. And so you don't give the other person the benefit of the doubt to have the conversation. So here are three questions to ask. If you have a conflict conversation that you need to have, but you're maybe avoiding it, why does what you have to say matter? Why is what you have to say important? And if you can't really come up with it, then maybe you just let it go. But if you've got something important, why does it matter? What is at stake? If you stay silent? What is at stake for your relationship with that person? What is at stake for the outcomes? What is stake for your values? What is at stake for your mental health? And then imagine that you've had the conversation and at least you've been Maybe it didn't go exactly how you wanted, but you feel like you've genuinely been heard. How do you feel? And when we ask that question in our training programs, it's always like we are chatting how you feel heard relief. and that relief is what we want for you. We want you to feel calm, to feel relieved, to feel less stressed, to feel heard. And so that is my hope. And if you are dealing with a bad boss. be the courageous leader you'd want your boss to be.