Girl, I'm Back & Yes, I Am A Delta

I’m back… and yes, I’m a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. But this episode is not solely focused on letters. Let's talk about when you finally step into the version of yourself you used to pray for.

I’m so grateful to be her.

This does not mean every day is violets and roses. It just means I recognize the woman standing in the mirror a little more now. I trust her more. I honor her more. I give her permission to take up space without shrinking or apologizing.

In this Season 3 reintroduction, I’m talking about growth, sisterhood, confidence, community, and the beauty of being supported while becoming. Sometimes transformation comes from alignment and finally realizing you were never becoming someone new, you were becoming more honest about who you already were.

So yes, I’m back.

And I’m not new to this.

I’m true to this... today.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to season three. We have so much to catch up on. I'ma need you to come in close for this one. You might notice something a little different in my voice. I don't know. Maybe a different glow on my face if you've been watching the visuals. But I mean, that's because since we last talked, I have celebrated another trip around the sun. Yes. I had a birthday. I am officially entering this season as a better, sharper, more aligned version of myself. Now, of course, I say this every year, so, but it's true. Every single year, I feel like I'm getting better. But that is not the main difference that I hope you all notice, okay? Now, if we're talking about alignment, I have to share the biggest blessing of all, y'all. Do you see it? The crimson and cream glow. I finally did it. I am officially a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorry and Corporated. Y'all, this has been a journey. I've watched so many incredible women, I mean powerhouses in our community who are all deltas. And I knew it was where I belonged, but man, be in it, but being in it, being surrounded by successful, focused, community-driven women who are already expanding my reach. I feel like my heart is expanding, and it has truly changed me. So here's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

We've been breaking chains, healing from pain, laughing through storms and dancing and rain. Hey girl, come sit with me.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Right, let's have a moment. Here's the thing. I'm over here celebrating this new elevation of mine. Some people are still trying to mail letters to my old address, and I'm gonna tell y'all right now, we are allergic, okay? This episode, I want us to talk about the friction that happens when you level up and how the world tries to keep you small. Now, I am on this phenomenal journey of leveling up, and y'all, it's been a time, okay? Gonna be a little transparent, a little vulnerable today, because why not start off season three with the bang? Because maybe, y'all, becoming a Delta was not just about the letters or the crimson and cream, though, you know, of course I have to have it on, right? It was about the validation that I'm exactly who I thought I was. Just imagine doing the things that you know you want to do in life, working on helping your community, being a pillar in your community, doing service work as much as you can, truly focusing on the bonds that our community is able to create every day in the small moments and the big moments. When you're already doing the work, when you are already doing the work and you're still not exactly where you want to be, and you see other people doing the same work, just in a way that's more passionate, more connected for them, you don't even have the time to really realize that you are already in your purpose. You already belong, you've already found where you belong. Yes, we're still working and moving towards a goal. At least for me, I've been working on several things. And y'all see that even with my podcast, I've been working on this for a while. Season three is been a time, right? But when you're chosen to be a part of something where every single woman is a leader, a professional, a change maker, it just does something to your confidence. Now, many of you all know I am a psychology professor and I talk about self-efficiency all the time, but I'm really feeling it now in a whole new way. I'm looking at my work in the community from my confidence workshops, my poetry, my teachings, being a grief coach, even being a deaf doula. I really see through a bigger lens now. My reach is expanding, my network is, y'all, my network is on fire right now, okay? And with Delta Sigma Theta, being a Delta, it feels as though the sisterhood just runs deep. And granted, I am still a baby out here in these streets, but okay, I am noticing that no matter how big the world is, as a Delta, there's nowhere that I can go. I feel as though I can go to the ends of the world and still not be alone. That's what it really feels like. Now, someone did recently ask me, what does it feel like? How are you genuinely feeling? And I had to sit back, and I didn't just want to say incredible. I just feel more secure. That's what it is. Sometimes I just feel speechless. Y'all, this is insane. This is insane. It's the best way to put it. Now, granted, you can't expect me to act like the girl I was when I was praying for the things that I have now. I worked for this, roamed for this, I was chosen for this. And if anyone is still looking for that version of me that was lacking my boundaries, didn't know her words, was looking a little ghostly, she don't live here anymore. She has been kicked out the door. She has been rebooted, revived, whatever you want to call it. She's not here. Okay, no, I gotta go. Bye bye, bye. She is out the door, y'all. This season, the season three, I've had all of these changes since the last time I've seen you all. Y'all, divorce is finalized. A lot of things have settled that needed to be settled. Well, leave it at that. My children are, they're doing beautifully. Or handsomely, as people like to say. And for this season, I really want to hone in on staying with this feeling. I want to prolong this feeling of, ooh, I can do anything. Ooh, I am that girl. Ooh, we've been doing it. So reminding myself, I'm not new to this, I'm true to this. Naturally, the season is about not being new to it, but being true to it. Understanding that healing is not linear. There's this poem by Langston Hughes. It's one of my favorite poems. I learned this poem, y'all, in fifth grade. And I had to recite it. And y'all, I got through it. It went good, but I had a little accent, and baby, my teacher was just like, uh, we gotta get rid of this accent. She said I sounded way, yeah, whatever. So in this poem, it's called Mother to, I believe it's called Mother to Son. Y'all it's been a while. It's called Mother to Son. And don't quote me on it, but it goes something like this. Well, son, I tell ya, life for me ain't been no crystal stair. It's had tacks in it and splinters and boards torn up and places with no carpet on the floor bare. But all the time I've been a climbing on and reaching landings and turning corners and sometimes going in the dark where there ain't been no light. So boy, don't you turn your back. Don't you set down on those steps? Cause you're gonna find it's kind of harder. Don't you fall now for I still going, honey. I'm still climbing. And for me, life ain't been no crystal step. Y'all, that home sticks with me to this day. And I used to say it all the time over the years, but now, but now it sits with me differently because when she says life for me ain't been no crystal stair, she said, hey, eyes will keep going. I'm just gonna keep going. I'm not stopping. I've been going. I'm already halfway up the stairs. I've been going. And I didn't stop then. I'm not gonna stop now. It's very, it's motivating and it reminds us not to leave anyone, to be the reminder that other people need. Like, hey, keep going, keep going. You are not alone. What? Is that Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson says, Oh, I don't want them to flag my video. But Michael Jackson says, you are not alone. You're always in my heart. Oh my goodness. But as we keep going, at least for me, I have to remind myself as I achieve and continue to achieve things that I'm just dreaming. Just dreaming a lot of this stuff. Well, this, I'm not just dreaming, but I'm just dreaming a lot of this stuff. And now that I am in a place where I am accomplishing some of those goals that I buried many years ago, like joining this luxurious, prestigious sorority, or even hitting new professional peace. It feels like I'm shifting the dynamic. And I just hope and pray that in this shift I'm able to help those who feel like they're stuck. Because I remember what it's like to be stuck. And it's not a good feeling. It's very isolated and it's very alone. And lately I've just been thinking about all the hats I wear. And now I could add my Delta hat to it. So I'm a Delta, I'm a professor and a mom and a poet. And I show up for my community. I'm a Dev Door. And I see people still saying they're on their way when they've already arrived. I see there's so much. It already arrived and they don't even see it. Sometimes they're so focused on going, going, going. And it's about time for us to sit there and say, look around. Many of you, including myself, have already accomplished things that you have dreamed about. But what do we do once we accomplish something? What do we do? We go to the next thing. We continuously, we just keep going to the next thing. It's easier for us to hustle, right? Don't get me started on the people who want to try to hustle to bring you back down to their level, right? So I do have a question for you. I want to ask you this. Who in your life has been still trying to talk to that old version? Who is ignoring your new credentials? Who's been ignoring your new piece? Who's been ignoring your new boundaries? Because simply because it's more convenient for them if you stay in the old youth. And it's not that they're a bad person, not that they're a bad sister. It's just that think of Doherty Explorer, where little mama says, back, back, back, back, and she's mentioning how it's time for her to take out her mask. How many people are trying to navigate and find them ways to you, but they're using the old map. The way they're moving is not working anymore. The way the route that they're taking is no longer how to get to you. They thinking they have to go one way and they driving right past you and don't even realize it. Don't even realize it. And now they mat that you built a whole new territory that they just don't have the correct map to get to. It's taking a while for me to recreate this map. And now I'm gonna keep this map for a while. I'm gonna keep this one for a while. I'm down to add some more stops, but I'm gonna keep this one for a little minute. When you're in a room, when you're in a room with women who are also successful, also focused on service, also making moves. They're the smartest in the room, they're the prettiest in the room, they are the most connected in the room. You start to notice that whether you're on their level or not, it makes you want to start your season. Like start the season that is specifically for you, for your growth, for your sanity, for your autonomy. And that is something that I just want for you this season. That's what I want for myself this season. I want you to find the community that helps expand you. For me, it's my sorors. Hey, sorors. For me, it's my sorority. It's the women who see my vision and say, girl, how can we make this bigger? For me, it's the ones who are saying, Hey, that's my last sister. She's getting it, she's gonna get it done every time. For me, it is the women in my life. And my reach has already grown because I just decided to stop trying to fit into these circles that required me to strengthen. I remember when I made that choice many moons ago, and it was the best decision ever. I think I tried it once in like grade school, and y'all, I was allergic. And ever since then, I've been in the community doing the work, doing it with a backing that feels like a like a spiritual armor. And ironically, Delta Lang, y'all, my name is Thoughtful Warrior, so I'm so thoughtful. And a published poet, that's kind of cool too. But yes. But as I prepare for season, getting ready for season three, so many things have crossed my mind because the first season was really about me trying to get out of the space, out of such a negative space, trying to find my way back to the life. One tiny thing at a time. One tiny thing at a time. And season two was let's figure out what are you like? What are you, what are you not like? Who are you? Figured out who I who am I answering that question. But now for season three, I only want to be seen as relatable to people who want to see me reach my potential. I'd rather be unrecognizable to people from my past than comfortable in my present that doesn't even fit me anymore. Yeah, that is what I want. And then why can't where we are now be our potential? Why can't every day that we have breath in our body be a new opportunity for potential? Why not? It seems as though day-to-day that has been how I've been going. Like every day is an opportunity for me to reach my full potential. And that's simply by being me and just making tiny little changes to my day-to-day. Whether it's finding naps, because Lord knows. Oh my goodness, a good nap? Maybe something that has also hit me is how supportive everyone has been. I never really focused on how supportive I am to my loved ones and my friends until it came time for them to pour into me during this process after this, after becoming a Delta, even during my birthday. And I just don't take it lightly. And I just don't take it lightly. I'm so grateful for the love, the support, even getting to this, the prayers. Y'all, the love is just unmatched. And I love spreading love and smile. And to be on the I'm usually a giver. So being on the receiving end has just been astronomical. Like I'm just in awe. And then I think about the people who are proud of me. And people are adjusting so smoothly to me being more assertive. I'm still feminine. I'm really, really soft. But being more assertive, honing in and understanding my gifts, and not shrinking my gifts. That was something I did for a while. I wouldn't necessarily shrink it. What I would do is I would just not acknowledge it. I have so many talents that I don't tell people about at all. At all. And someone can talk me about how they have that gift in the same area. I won't say a thing. And I'm learning that it's not me bragging to mention those talents or mention the things I've worked really hard to train in and to really be this dope person. I didn't become this overnight. But I must admit this season, just because we're in season three of the Girl, Come Sit With Me podcast. But in this season, I'm owning everything. I just, I don't want to hide anymore. I just want to own up to who I am. And I know sometimes, of course, some people are gonna expect me to respond a certain way. That's the part nobody really explains because growth doesn't always come with conflict or something being misaligned. Growth can also come from greatness. Greatness, the right kind of pressure since pressure builds diamonds, right? And that's what I want to focus on. Just as I'm learning this, I know other people around me are adjusting to me, constantly reminding myself that I'm that girl. And owning it and living in it. And I'm not gonna announce it. I'm not gonna argue it. I'm not gonna even try to prove it. I'm just gonna be it. Because I know that over time people will adjust, right? But owning it for me just feels a lot better than trying to force people to see all of these different things that I would be reluctant to share. So this go-around, I want to do something different. I am not going to explain my growth. Instead, I'm just gonna be consistent in it. That's where I'm at right now. I'm allergic to fighting, I'm allergic to cutting people off and focusing on all that other stuff, yeah. I'm just going to remain steadfast, keep my head on the swivel, trust that the people in my life are meant to be in my life. And when I need help, they'll meet me where I am because support is beautiful. And that type of alignment is what sustains relationships. And that's a big part of my evolution. Allowing people the space to catch up with it, but also not shrinking back in order for others to feel more understood. So that is what I will be doing, or that's what I'm currently doing in this moment. So, y'all, thank you for rocking with me. This season, season three of Girl, Come Sit With Me, will be infilled, will be filled with more love, more laughter, more knowledge. I will be bringing people on that really can make a difference in our day-to-day lives so that way we can be as consistent as possible. Because that is the main thing. So thank y'all for tuning in. Y'all feel free, check out my confidence courses, my confident classes. Don't forget I do grief sessions as well. I am a Deaf Doula, so look for me in that regard as well. And thank y'all for thank y'all for rocking with me. Uh I'm just grateful. So I'm rooting for you. Make sure you root for me. Make sure everyone around you have a beautiful day. Be the example that you wish you had in this present moment. Good night, y'all. Or good day, good morning, all of the above. We did it, y'all. We did it, y'all.