🏠 The Quiet Revolution Reshaping Canadian Families

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Think you know what a "typical Canadian family" looks like? Think again. In this eye-opening episode of Heliox, we unpack the dramatic transformation of family structures across Canada over the past three decades. Marriage rates have plummeted to less than 50% of adults over 15, while common-law partnerships surge, especially in Quebec and Nunavut. We explore the later-life timeline that defines modern Canadians—marrying at 34.8 years old (over three years later than in 1994), having fewer children, and increasingly choosing to live with parents well into adulthood.

Beyond traditional arrangements, we examine the rise of polyamorous relationships, the challenges of blended families, and the critical issues in adoption and foster care—where over 30,000 children await permanent homes. We spotlight the staggering overrepresentation of Indigenous children in foster care and the emergence of "chosen families" as vital support networks. These aren't just statistics; they're the lived experiences reshaping Canadian identity from the ground up. Whether you're navigating these changes personally or professionally, this deep dive into "Families Count 2024" offers essential context for understanding the evolving landscape of connection and commitment in today's Canada.

Families Count 2024

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Transcript

0:24

Welcome in everybody. We're diving deep today into Canadian families. You know how everyone always talks about the typical Canadian family, right? Yeah Well get ready to rethink some assumptions because we're looking at how that picture has been changing big time over the past three decades Our guide for this deep dive is the families count 2024 report which tracks all sorts of family structures and let me tell you some of the trends are pretty Surprising even for someone like me who studies this stuff like marriage, for example. Oh, yeah marriage It's declining significantly across Canada. It is less than half of adults over 15 were married in 2021 Wow That's a huge drop from fifty four point one percent back in 1991 huge. Yeah, so what's going on? Are people just deciding to stay single forever? Well, not necessarily. It's more nuanced than that It seems Canadians are redefining what commitment looks like how so well for one thing common-law partnerships are way up Really, especially in Quebec and Nunavut interesting So people are still seeking connection, but maybe not always washing to the altar, right? So commitment but on their own terms exactly and it's not just relationships that are changing, right? The report also mentions Canadians hitting major life milestones later than previous generations. Oh, absolutely We're seeing people marry later have kids later move out later the whole timeline shifted You really have like the average age of marriage in 2020 was thirty four point eight That's more than three years older than in 1994. It's a big jump. So what's behind this delay? Well, there are a lot of factors higher education is one makes sense People are staying in school longer. Yeah and building their careers first right getting financially stable Exactly, and also there's this desire for personal growth before settling down taking time to figure things out Plus common-law unions often come before marriage these days. So that pushes the average age up even more does it's interesting How all these things are interconnected? Yeah, it really is a broader societal shift not just about one thing Okay, but what about divorce then if fewer people are getting married? Does that mean divorce rates are going up? Actually, no, that's the really surprising part. Really? Yeah divorce rates have been dropping since the early 1990s. How is that possible? Well part of it is the aging population Okay, older people are less likely to divorce exactly but there's another big factor to was that remember all those common-law partnerships We talked about right there's super common now. Well divorce stats only track legal marriages Ah, so those breakups aren't being counted the same way exactly that really skews the data, doesn't it? It does It's a good reminder that the way we measure things affects what we see speaking of common-law relationships It's kind of wild how common they've become it is nearly one in four couples in Canada now That's huge compared to just six point three percent back in 1981 huge change Yeah, and it seems like younger generations are really driving this trend. They are they're often Advertising what works for them right now rather than tradition exactly. They might not see marriage as a necessity So it's about the relationship itself not the legal staff. It seems that way now There's this even newer thing living apart together or LAT couples. Oh, yeah LAT couples almost 1.5 million Canadians were in LAT relationships in 2017 according to the report. It's a growing trend for sure It's fascinating. These are committed couples who live in separate places. I know it's interesting, right? So, why do they choose this? Well some like their independence some never even considered living together in the first place Huh, and sometimes there are practical reason like jobs in different cities Okay, so it's not always a deliberate choice, right? But even when it is it shows how people are blending connection and autonomy in new ways It challenges the traditional idea of what a couple should be. It does it says a lot about how we view relationships now Okay, let's shift gears a bit. Let's talk about polyamorous families Okay, these are families where partners have consensual ethical non-monogamous relationships, right? So multiple emotional and/or sexual connections and this can get illegally tricky, right? Because Canadian law traditionally only recognizes relationships between two people it does it creates all sorts of challenges for polyamorous families Especially when it comes to things like parental rights exactly But there have been some court cases recently where judges have acknowledged these changing family dynamics or have it's encouraging Like some judges have granted parental rights to more than two parents in polyamorous families, which is a big step It shows how the legal system is slowly catching up to how society is changing it is but there's still a long way to go For sure. Okay. Another trend we're seeing is more young adults living at home the so-called boomerang kids Exactly in 2021 almost half of those aged 20 to 29 were living with at least one parent Wow, that's a lot it is and it's not just about laziness or anything No, not at all. There are economic factors at play like the cost of housing That's a big one, especially in places like Nunavut and Ontario, right? Those housing markets are tough plus more people are going to college or university So they're living at home longer to save money. It makes sense and societal norms are changing, too Yeah, it's not as unusual now to see young adults living with their parents So it's a mix of things really it is it challenges that old idea of moving out and being independent by a certain age It really does speaking of living arrangements multi-generational households are becoming more common, too Oh, yeah, three or more generations under one roof in 2021. There were 2.4 million Canadians in these arrangements That's quite a job. It's especially common in indigenous and immigrant families It reflects cultural values around family support and togetherness, of course But economic factors can play a role too for sure, especially when housing costs are high Okay, last one for this section step families blended family Yeah, they're more common now because more couples are separating or divorcing in 2021 8.4 percent of families with kids were step families and it's even more prevalent among same-gender couples nearly 40% Blending families can be really rewarding but also challenging navigating new roles and relationships different parenting styles It takes patience and a lot of communication and it can take years for everyone to adjust and feel like a unit It's a process for sure before we wrap up this first part. Let's talk about declining fertility rates Okay, Canada's fertility rate hit a record low in 2022 only 1.33 children per women. It's a pretty steep decline It is what's driving this? Well women are more involved in higher education in the workforce now, right? They have more options beyond motherhood exactly and there's also greater access to contraception and less religious influence maybe potentially Yeah, it's fascinating how these societal shifts impact family size It really is and it's not the same everywhere in Canada either Right like Nunavut has the highest fertility rate and BC and Nova Scotia have the lowest So regional differences are important to they are it highlights how complex this issue is and how there's no single explanation for these trends Absolutely. It's a mix of factors. Okay Well, we'll take a break here for now and come back to explore even more fascinating aspects of Canadian families in part two Looking forward to it. Thank you to everyone who has left such positive reviews on our podcast episodes It helps to make the podcast visible to so many more people we read them all back to heliox Where evidence meets empathy? Welcome back folks. We're picking up our deep dive into Canadian family structures And this time we're gonna look at some less traditional family journeys starting with adoption adoption Yeah It's a topic that always seems to spark strong feelings and it really makes you think about What family truly means and the needs of children for sure, you know I think a lot of people would be shocked to learn that only around 2,000 kids in Canada are adopted each year. Really? Yeah, that's just a tiny sliver of the over 30,000 kids who are currently waiting for permanent families. Wow That's a big gap. It is it really highlights how much more awareness we need about adoption as a way to build a family Yeah, and it makes you wonder what's preventing more adoptions from happening Is it that people just don't know enough about it or are there a lot of bureaucratic hoops to jump through or maybe it's societal? Perceptions about adoption. It's probably a mix of all those things and we have to remember that Adoption isn't a one-size-fits-all thing, right? The family count report actually outlines three main ways adoption happens in Canada each with its own unique aspects to consider Okay, so what are the three ways the most common way is through the public child welfare system? Okay, so through the government, right? It's publicly funded and operates in every province and territory. And what's the focus there finding forever homes for kids who are in government care? Okay, so kids who've often been through the foster care system exactly got it. Then there are private adoption agencies Okay, so those connect birth parents with prospective adoptive families, right? But this option is currently only available in BC Alberta, Manitoba and Ontario and is it publicly funded like the child welfare system? Nope, so there can be pretty hefty costs involved for families So that financial barrier probably plays a big role and who can even consider that route definitely and finally there's the option of direct arrangements Between parents. Okay. So the birth parents choose the adoptive family themselves exactly, but this is only allowed in New Brunswick right now interesting So there's a lot of variation across the country It is and it raises a lot of ethical questions to think about for sure both for the children and the families involved And we can't forget about adoption within indigenous communities, right? Those are often called custom adoptions and they work a bit differently, right? They do the arrangements are usually made directly between the birth parents and adoptive parents Without going through an agency and the birth parents often stay involved in the child's life Which is different from other forms of adoption. It really shows how important it is to understand the cultural context of adoption. Absolutely policies and practices need to respect the traditions and values of indigenous communities and speaking of policies the report really emphasizes the need for Better national data on adoption across Canada Yeah, it's hard to get a clear picture when things vary so much from province to province Like codec is the only province that keeps track of all adoptions both domestic and international Huh interest and they actually have specific benefits for adoptive parents in their parental insurance plan Oh, wow, other provinces could definitely learn from that for sure It's about recognizing the unique needs of adoptive families, right? Especially since many adopted kids have been through trauma or instability before finding their forever home So those families need extra support to navigate those complexities. Absolutely. You mentioned foster care earlier. I did. Let's talk more about that system Okay, sounds good It's designed to give temporary care and support to children who can't live with their families for whatever reason like if there's neglect or abuse Going on or if the parents are struggling with addiction or legal issues So foster families provide a safe place until the kids can either go back home or find a permanent placement, right? And that sometimes includes adoption got it in 2021 There are more than 26,000 foster kids under 15 in Canada. That's a lot of kids. It is it's about one in every 250 kids in the age group Wow, it really shows how important foster families are they really are They open their homes and hearts to kids going through tough times and knowing it's often temporary that must be hard It is it's emotionally and practically demanding work and it's not evenly distributed, right? There are big disparities when it comes to which kids end up in foster care sadly Yeah, indigenous children are way over represented in the foster care system How so well in 2021 indigenous kids made up over half of all foster children? That's huge. It is especially when you consider that they represent less than 8% of the total child population in Canada Wow, that's a shocking disparity It reflects a lot of deep-rooted problems like systemic discrimination and ongoing trauma in indigenous communities The report mentions things like the 60 scoop, right? That's where indigenous children were taken from their families in place in non-indigenous homes and sadly similar practices continue today It's been called the Millennium scoop. It's heartbreaking. It's a situation that needs urgent attention and action Absolutely, but there have been some positive steps taken recently like what like the 2019 Act respecting First Nations Inuit and Métis children youth and families Okay, so that's a step towards recognizing indigenous communities rights to handle their own child and family services exactly It's about self-determination and making sure indigenous kids can grow up connected to their culture and communities It's a good start, but there's still a long way to go for sure. Okay, let's shift gears a bit again Okay, let's talk about another life transition that's become less common over time, but still has a huge impact on families What's that widowhood? Ah, yes. Remember how we talked about Canadians living longer? Yeah, people are living longer than ever these days Well that longer lifespan plays a role here, too Also, well in 1991 over 33% of Canadians aged 65 and older were widowed Okay, but by 2021 that number had dropped to 20% so fewer widowed seniors exactly It's because people are living longer health care is improved and people are marrying later in life So all those things combined lead to fewer widows and widowers Exactly, but even though widowhood is less common now, it's still a really profound experience for those who go through it. Absolutely It's not just about the emotional toll of losing a partner It can also have financial and social impacts Especially for older adults who might suddenly have to deal with new expenses or the loss of a home It's a lot to handle the report mentions programs like the Canada pension plan and old age security which can help financially Okay, so there's some financial support available. There is but you know, the impact of losing a partner goes way beyond money Of course, it's about the loss of companionship shared memories and that deep emotional support That's irreplaceable it is and we need to make sure widowed individuals and families have access to social and emotional support, too Right, not just financial help and we need to remember that everyone grieves differently for sure There's no right or wrong way to cop with loss It's about providing resources and understanding to help people go through this in their own way and in their own time Absolutely. Everyone's journey is unique a shout out to our many listeners in Gibson's Sechelt Melbourne Helsinki, New Orleans Vancouver Singapore Copenhagen and Sydney we see you Thank you for subscribing following commenting and supporting our podcast Find related articles at heliox podcasts on substack back to heliox where evidence meets empathy And we're back for the final part of our deep dive into Canadian families We've covered a lot of ground already haven't we marriage common-law? multigenerational household adoption foster care the challenges facing indigenous families we oh hood But there's still more to uncover there is each family structure tells its own story It's like a tapestry all these threads woven together exactly and this time we'll look at some structures that don't always get as much attention Okay, sounds good like blended families, for example. Yeah, those are becoming more and more common as divorce rates stay high We touched on them briefly before but I think it's worth really digging into the dynamics of these families Definitely. It can be pretty complex. Think about it. You've got two sets of parents Maybe step-siblings you've never met before not you're trying to blend their lives together exactly and each parent might have different rules and expectations Yeah, that could lead to some friction It often does especially for the kids it can be a lot to handle being thrown into this new family dynamic Research suggests it can take years for blended families to truly feel like a unit years Wow It takes time and effort from everyone. So what helps make that transition smoother? Communication is key being open and honest with each other right and patience lots of patience and a willingness to compromise Realizing everyone's coming from different places and the adults have their own challenges too, right? Absolutely blending parenting styles can be tough, especially when you're trying to figure out discipline and boundaries It can create tension even the best of circumstances. So how do couples navigate that again? Communication is key being respectful of each other's approaches and putting the needs of the kids first. That's always the priority Okay. Now let's talk about skip generation families generation. Yeah, where grandparents are raising their grandkids Oh, right taking on the parenting role themselves. Exactly. It's a trend that's often born out of difficult situations Like if the parents are struggling with addiction or mental health issues or if they're incarcerated or have passed away So the grandparents step in to provide stability and love they do but it could be incredibly challenging for them in what ways? Well, many are retired so they might have their own health concerns or be on a fixed income, right? And raising kids is expensive it is and they might also be dealing with legal issues like custody arrangements and things like that Exactly, and the emotional burden can be huge too. Of course, they're also in greening the loss of their own child while raising their grandkids It's a lot to carry the report really emphasizes the need for more support for these families They need all the help they can get they do financial assistance legal guidance respite care emotional support. All of that is crucial It's about recognizing the vital role these grandparents play in their grandkids lives and making sure they have the resources to succeed Absolutely. Okay last but certainly not least. Let's talk about chosen families chosen families. What are those exactly? These are families formed through bonds of friendship shared values a sense of belonging. Okay, so not necessarily blood relative, right? It's about creating a support system that feels like family. I like that It's especially important for people who might not have strong ties to their biological families like LGBTQ plus individuals have experienced rejection or estrangement Exactly chosen families offer that unconditional love and acceptance a safe space where they can be themselves. It's a beautiful thing It shows how we can create those deep connections outside of traditional definitions of family It really expands our idea of what family can be. So as we wrap up this deep dive into Canadian families What are your biggest takeaways? I'm struck by the sheer diversity of it all me too It's amazing how families are changing and adapting challenging norms redefining kinship from the decline of marriage to the rise of blended families and skip generation households from the complexities of adoption to the growing recognition of chosen families It's clear. There's no one right way to be a family and that's a good thing, right? It shows how resilient and creative human relationships can be it does but it also highlights the need for Policies and support systems that reflect this diversity We need to make sure all families have what they need to thrive regardless of their structure Absolutely, everyone deserves support and respect. So as we say goodbye, I encourage you to think about what family means to you It's a question worth pondering. How has your own family shaped who you are and how do we as a society? Create a more inclusive and welcoming environment for all families Thanks for joining us on this journey into the world of Canadian families. It's been fascinating We hope it's given you a new perspective on the ever-evolving landscape of family life in Canada and beyond