You will never find yourself outside of yourself

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

All our life we've been going outward, right? We've been saying, I am here, whatever we think the self is. And then we say, peace, happiness, salvation, beauty, love. It's all out there. I need to go out and I need to go find it. It's always go find. We always say it's a journey. Right? This is how we speak. We because we see it as outside, as some out somewhere in the world or even in the universe, and we need to go discover it and perhaps even conquer it, perhaps even make it our own, bring it home, and then bring it home. And so we look for love in other people, we look for meaning in uh books, and we look for truth out in the external world and even in the physical world. But then there's a point in every seeker's um so-called journey where it turns out all this outside going was not necessary, and in fact, it was never going to work, and so you've been going on, and so you return back. And uh again, this does not mean that all of that was a waste of time, because many religions, many philosophies, many individuals, Buddha, Jesus, Socrates, as you mentioned, for thousands of years now have been telling us go inside. They've been saying that. We all heard that. But when we heard it and we didn't have the ears to hear it yet, we dismissed it. And we still kept looking. Even though we read those exact same people, we kept reading Socrates. We kept maybe listening to the Buddha or to Jesus or to Mohammed. And so even though we're listening to the exact same people, we're not listening, we're dismissing their words. Isn't this so funny? We've been dismissing Socrates' words, even though we're philosophers, right? And we're intellectuals and we're scholars, and we even studied these things, actually. We take some words of his, but not the others, because well, no one's perfect, right? Everyone makes mistakes, and so Socrates made mistakes, and he certainly did, I'm sure, but not with this one. This is the core of everything. This is what all of ancient Greece, the Hellenistic philosophies have been saying that even engrave it on their buildings, know thyself. And so we've been trying to know ourselves by knowing other things. This is the funniest thing. Uh, scientists try to know themselves by go studying uh monkeys or the stars or whales or trees, ecosystems, whatever they can get their hands on, the sun, and the religious person is trying to understand God and Jesus and uh how to pray and and what practice is gonna work and and how to and they're studying baptizing and and all these kinds of things, pilgrimages, Buddhists uh and and people like that will go to the Himalayas, they will climb them, they will go see a monk there who will do a special little bless blessing on uh a wristband or a necklace or some other object, and they'll give it to you, and then you take that home and and and you think you're closer to yourself. But um, all of that is just another mind journey, it's just another thing for the mind to say, uh, it's out there, we need a project, we need to go do something. And so we're trying to understand ourselves by trying to understand every other thing. And that's never going to happen. We're never ever going to understand every other thing. And when you say, um, can we ever be a witness to reality or to our own uh existence, our own experience? We don't need to. That's yet another thing that people have been trying to figure out intellectually. We don't have to. You don't have to do anything because you already are what you are. And I know we're trying to understand what that is and all that, but just the simple fact already is the understanding, so much of it. You already are what you are. So let's not think we are assembling ourselves out in the world, but either by gathering knowledge or blessings or whatever we are doing, we are not assembling the self. You are trying to understand the self, not to assemble the self. So, what why are you what are you out there assembling? Like I said, uh gathering knowledge, information is an assemblage as well. Why are we doing that? So let's rest in this. We don't need to know yet. We don't need to know ever actually what the true self is. We will never know. Spoiler alert. But um, just to know the fact, and this is a fact, who can refute this? Does the scientist refute this? Does the religious person refute this? Does the philosopher refute this? Who refutes this? That whatever you are, you are. Is this refutable? No. So let's calm down, let's sit down. What is this journey for? What are we going and getting? Why are we going to the Himalayas? What are we going to get from there that we don't already have? So let's rest in that. This is already it. This is it. And so, okay, I want to understand myself because okay, I see I am awareness because without awareness, I wouldn't have any memories. Clearly, I'm aware, clearly, I'm conscious. And so that's why I'm able to observe all the so-called good and so-called bad things, all the emotions, all the thoughts, all the actions of others, the events that are out in the world, whatever is happening. Uh all is being observed, it's being seen, I am aware of it. And so, okay, clearly, my true self, whatever it is, it has something to do with awareness. If I didn't have awareness, or if I wasn't awareness, if that was an integral part of me, um, then I would not know anything. I could not perceive anything. And the real thing is not to try to understand the self by understanding everything else, but by understanding the self, by knowing thyself, you know everything else. This is the most amazing thing. We are trying to figure out love to figure out ourselves. But if we figure out ourselves, we figure out what love is. It comes together because your nature is of love, of peace, of truth, of justice, all these things. And so it's just like the ancient text, the Vedic text says in one of the Gitas know that, by the knowing of which all things are known. What is that? That's the self. And the self does not need anything because once again, the self already is the self. It is not flickering, it is not coming and going, it is not depending on some special juice, right? It's here anyway. Whatever you give it, it is. It is there, it will be there. So, this obsession that we have with learning, it has its place. Not the obsession, but the learning has its place. Uh, if you want to go learn about a bird, then go learn about a bird. Don't go learn about a bird to understand yourself. If you want to invent the microchip, go invent the microchip. But don't invent the microchip to better yourself or to understand yourself or to make yourself something. Because that will always fail. There are people who become who have become emperors, uh presidents, um people who have the so-called highest achievements in the world, who did all of that to make a name for themselves, to leave a legacy, to become immortal as they think they could be. And none of it has ever worked. They will never be, of course, they're not immortal, and they'll never even be remembered forever. To be remembered for 2,000 years, you have to pretty much conquer almost all of the world. But even 2,000 years is nothing in even humanity's history, which in comparison is nothing to Earth's history, which in comparison is nothing to the universe's history. And so we don't become immortal by becoming something. We become immortal by realizing that we already are immortal. Because this being, the simple sense of I am. Just like we said before, the very fact, and this is again an irrefutable fact, that I have memory, points to another irrefutable fact that I am aware. If I am saying I have memory, that means I am aware of the fact that I'm that I have memory. If I am aware of the fact that I have memory, that means I am aware. That means that I am aware means that I have awareness or that I am awareness. And even just saying I have awareness or I am awareness necessitates the the sentence, which is a complete sentence. I am. I am. Again, so many people are out there saying, I am trying to become, I am stupid, I am good looking, I am ugly, I am this, I am successful, I'm a failure, I'm a disappointment, I am proud, I am intelligent. All I am, I am something, something. And they miss the first part. I am. Even those who say, I am incomplete, I am lacking, they miss the first part. They miss the I am. Something, someone who is the I am is complete. I am lacking is not the true self speaking. Whatever is added to I am is the false self, is the not you, is a personality, is an identity, is a thought, is a belief. It is not you. Because what a paradox, what an impossibility it is to say I am lacking. Or even some people say, I am nothing. How can I say I am nothing? Or how can I be nothing and say that I am nothing? Who is the one saying this? If I am nothing, how am I saying this? This question I would like answered by anyone who thinks that they are lacking or that they are nothing. How are you how are you able to say this? Okay. So everything every single thing we say, every single thing we do, everything, every single thing that we cannot help but notice and observe and cannot get away from, even if we wanted to get away from it. Every anger, every depression, every uh so-called um uncomfortable, terrible memory, every piece of trauma is direct, irrefutable, undeniable, perfect evidence for your existence. I am. And so how can we not see that and then also see that this which is the I am is complete, otherwise it could not be I am. Nothing incomplete survives, nothing lacking that can go on. Nothing that needs something else but doesn't even know what that something else is, can sustain itself. But I am nevertheless. How? Once knowing this, and it might be interesting to know some other things, it is very interesting to know the size of the sun. It is very interesting to know that for millions of years dinosaurs lived on this earth for millions of years, and now they're uh pretty much all gone, the ones that we call dinosaurs, the ones that we think of as such. That's very, very interesting. But what is that going to change about the fact that I am? I am. And once you have this fact, do we not see in our experience, not intellectually, not theoretically, do we not see in our experience that when we do nothing, even though we desire things and we lack things, I understand all that. Okay, let's desire and lack things. But nevertheless, even though I am desirous and even though I am lacking, when I stop doing everything, any activity, just for now, just for a minute, even am I not still? And is stillness actually not effortless to me? Right? Because I don't need to tense my muscles to be still, quite the opposite. I it's just the motion of letting go, which is effortless. And stillness is peace. And I'm not just talking about physical stillness, of course. The mindstones is what we are uh trying to expand the vision here of that it's the same with thoughts and emotions as it is with muscles. All you have to do is to not hang on to all these things. This is what attachment is. Attachment is this. There is nothing out there in the world that is attached to you that is grabbing onto you like this. You are grabbing onto it. And because you're grabbing onto it, because you're using your muscles in your mind, in your spirit, so to speak, um, they have become locked up and tight and sore and painful. And so, just like what would happen to your muscles physically if you just for 10 years straight hang on to something, that is happening inside of us, so to speak, non-physically. And so every release of false belief, and here we come full circle to what Socrates said, uh, which is an unexamined life is a life not worth living. This is what he's saying. Saying, you've been hanging on to this for years, and your arm is sore and you complain about your arm all the time. Have you considered, have you examined the idea that you must hold on to this? Have you ever considered that uh the features of a romantic relationship, just to give an example, are that you must sacrifice to each other? That you have to prove your love to each other on a continual basis, and that you have to do things that you don't want to do in order to show your love, otherwise it would not be proved. If it's something that you want to do anyway, then that's not proof to me. That's easy. And you must give up things, and you have to hold someone very special and deem other people as less worthy or even worthless. Have you ever considered that love not only has not asked you to do any of this, but that love is actually the exact opposite of that? That love does not judge, that love does not discriminate, that love does not assign value and uh call some people useless and worthless? Have you considered any of these things? Have you considered that love does not ask for sacrifice? That love does not uh tell you to go prove yourself to love or to anyone else or to go prove yourself to yourself, which so many people are trying to do? Have you considered any of this? And then all of a sudden, spiritually, ah, I can let go of this. Oof, right? And now my hand can relax and it come back, can come back. And it'll be sore maybe for some time still, but it'll it's gonna recover. Wow. And this happened because of examination. Someone told you this is love, and so naturally, this is the most reasonable, logical thing you ever did to hang on to something beautiful, important, and special. Of course you're going to. It's so special, it's so important. Who wouldn't? But that person had it wrong. And they told you, and you said, This is my parent, or this is society, this is an elder, this is whatever. And so they probably know better. I know nothing. I'm just a child. I know nothing. I'm I'm stupid. And so I will take their word for it. And so we hung on to it a year past, five, ten years, some people 20, 30, 40, 50 years. And they're still hanging on to it, and they wonder why their arm is about to fall off and they're in pain. So Socrates said, examine, examine everything. And after you examine, don't be done, re-examine periodically. Not in a stressful way, not in a way, oh no, I fear that there is still so, so I must re-examine. No, no, not like that. Just like we examine and re-examine our vehicles, right? If we're driving a car every three months, six months, whatever it is, it gets an examination, it gets maintenance, an oil change. Just in that way. Just it's time again to do this. Only good comes out of this. During your maintenance on your vehicle, you might find that there is a horrific structural problem. But that doesn't mean the act of maintenance of a checkup made that happen. It was already there. You're finding out now. So you're thankful to the maintenance procedure to the time that you're doing that. Because without this, I would have never known. I might have been driving down the road and then it snaps, and who knows what happens because of that. So, in the best way, this is again an analogy to that truth has never harmed you. We find out truth, and then we say, This is not according to my beliefs. I do not like this. This is my whole world. Turns out it's different than I thought what it was. But that's not truth harming you. That's your false beliefs also not harming you, but that's what the false belief is doing. It's not what truth is doing. So the truth has never harmed you. And so uh, what can you not examine and come out with with a this with an advantage due to it? Either you were right all along, and so you examine and you say, good, continue. Or you were wrong and you say, Ah, so what is the right thing? Ah, great. I let I'm able to let go of yet another thing. Yet another muscle relaxes. Uh, yet even more vision of the peace that I always had is coming in.