Unfiltered Q&A Parenting Tips, Motherhood Real Talk, and Laugh-Out-Loud Moments

In this episode of Unleashed Moms, we answer your parenting questions—everything from must-have baby gear and tips for managing screen time to navigating sibling struggles and the hardest parts of motherhood that no one talks about. Expect honest answers, relatable stories, and insights that feel like chatting with your best mom friends. Whether you're a new mom or a seasoned pro, there's something here for everyone.

🎧 Tune in now for a dose of real-life advice and encouragement!

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Transcript

Welcome back.

Hello.

Happy Friday.

Whoop, whoop.

We are doing a Q and A style, uh, episode. This time we put out on our Wiley's unleashed Instagram page for all of you guys to join us and ask us questions about literally anything from personal to motherhood to just our opinion on things, if you really want to hear that.

Um, and you guys delivered. We got some great questions. I think we have over 30 questions from y'all. Um, and they're, they're really great and really thought provoking. So it's gonna be fun listening to our side stories. Let me just put that out there.

Now it's gonna be a little off the cuff. We really didn't have time to prep for these questions either. I didn't even really see them.

Yeah, I saw them, but I, like, haven't had a chance to even, like, think about them.

Nah.

Uh, and so you guys are great. We love these questions. We breezed through them right before we started this recording.

You're in for a treat, though.

It's gonna be real interesting.

Uh, yeah, and we have a. What is this, like a super fan?

Yes.

I think most of these questions came from the same person who literally is our super fan for the podcast and just everything in life. And, uh, we're excited to dive into some of these questions.

Right? Yeah, we did some really good ones. Um, and we will be announcing our winner for this too, because we did a little mini giveaway to help you guys feel motivated to contribute. Uh, so we'll probably announce the winner in the morning, probably after this recording.

Perfect. All right, we have these categorized a, uh, little bit somewhat. So we've got some parenting tips and experiences, uh, and also motherhood based questions, family relationships, personal questions about us, fun and light hearted, and then a couple of deep and more reflective questions. So, yeah, we're just going to kind of see how quickly we have two pages.

We have two pages of questions. I don't remember if I said that already. So we're just going to start off.

This episode with sharing the drink she made us today.

Okay. It's going to be like, past a little bit past, like fallness, but so good. So I was on the H app going through the coupons and there was a coupon for the Suja. What is it? The cold press juice. The Suja, uh, apple spiced apple cider. It's so good.

It's so good. So as soon. So it has like cinnamon ginger clove in it and then the, the cold pressed apples and I opened it and tried it cold And I was like, okay, this is so good. But immediately I was like, this has to be warm. Like the Starbucks, uh, hot apple cider caramel apple cider drink.

So Alex came over and I, I was thinking about it and I was like, hey, I'm gonna make this caramel with this Suja cold pressed juice. And it's so good, it's addicting and I'm out of it now. But that's all right because she's leaving.

Next week and now I'm gonna need to just go stalk myself because normally she would be like, I'm gonna go get more.

I'm gonna buy everything. When I find something I love this much, I usually do. I, uh, like get like four or five every time I go to the store.

Yeah. So now I'm going to have to go stop it.

If they even have any. I think I had bought the last one. Let's look it up. I'm going to look it up, cuz I feel like it was. I didn't think I was going to find it at all.

Yeah, they're always in the stock of the apple crisp olive too. But every time I go to the store I find them. So I've been buying them and I even got some.

You have a whole bunch. Oh, it says buy it again.

Yeah. Let me add it to my list though, and then go look because I feel like it's been kind of finicky lately. No, it says they still have it. It is not still on sale though. Probably safer that it will be in stock then.

Suja spiced apple cider organic cold pressed juice.

But it is really tasty.

It is ridiculously good. Um, I heated it up and just put a little bit of caramel, uh, in it.

Yeah.

And it's just so good. Yeah, I finished mine like way earlier. Yeah. Okay, so first question here is. I feel like some of these are going to be kind of hard to answer. Right. Just off the cuff, but top three recommended products for a first time mom that you just can't live without.

The Bobby.

Oh, we did just have this conversation not that long ago.

Yeah, 100% the boppy.

Especially with the twins.

Yeah, even I. I didn't even breastfeed the twins except for like a week and then they were like, we're done. And the boppy was just the best tool. Even with Logan. I use that. I mean, I did breastfeed her like forever. I didn't even use it for breastfeeding.

I use it for like activity play.

Tummy time, helping her learn how to sit properly. The boppy is just the best and.

Kids and we've always used it for the medium or big kids to like help hold newborns. Just to help support their heads and everything.

Yeah. 100% get a boppy. Not the one that's like the big circle pillow but the one that is.

The A U. Yeah like a U shape and it, it's not connected. Um, yeah, that's a good one. So that's number one. Now what? Oh a baby carrier. So I was a big baby wearing mama when my kids were little. My uh, kids are 8 and 11 now, so obviously way removed.

But it was a huge part of my life for several years. Um and so I feel like I had all the different carriers or at least tried all the different carriers in wraps, slings, all the things. But ultimately I went from an Ergo to a Tula and then what did we.

We had a baby one and then we had a toddler one. Um so easy. Nice to buckle them in. You can use them from newborn up.

Yeah. So for me I got Alicia pay me down tulas which are so nice because they last forever.

I know we're, we're getting ready to hand them down again to a new mama.

Yeah we are.

I know. Um, yeah that makes me a little sad.

Uh, I actually started out though with a wrap for Logan. I got the Moby wrap.

Yes.

Was so nice because she practically lived on me like yeah always carried. Uh so she was either in a wrap or Tula. And the wraps are really nice when.

They're newborns cuz they, it just snuggle like snuggle in and you can breastfeed really easily. Mhm.

With them. So uh, definitely recommend a wrap, a Tula, a ring, sling you. There's like you usually groups.

Yeah. So in Washington, um, when I quit working I was looking for something, something to do, some place to be a part of. Um and found a baby wearing group for our county. Um, local to San Antonio. I'm actually I have no idea what is here because like I said I'm so far removed that I have no clue.

But I'm sure you can find a local Facebook group and ours used to have like a library um that you could come and they would have like days where you could come and try out and borrow people's um, literally borrow them if you wanted but they would put them out on a table and we could try different ones before you bought them cuz they are.

Some of them can be an investment. So but they're so Worth it. Um, but yeah, I just thought of another really good one that's usually like our go to. Is to skip the infant carrier car seat.

Oh my gosh.

And get a convertible one that will fit your baby. Um, and then carry them with the carrier. That's our favorite product. Um, that was always our. That's. That's a big one because. Oh, absolutely. I don't. Delilah did. Yeah. It's just. Although we do. We were talking about the one.

The Dunas that can turn into like the stroller ones. But then I still think it's kind of a pain when you go to the grocery store. I've literally seen moms pushing the stroll. Pushing the car seat, stroller and a cart at the same time with just them. And I'm like, well, that doesn't.

That seems.

Yeah.

So not as great. Oh yeah.

You're very limited when you have twins, first off, because you need doubles of everything, which there's just a very limited mark.

Right.

But on top of the fact if I had something like that, I wouldn't even be able to have a car.

Right? No.

Uh-huh. And even as being a twin mom, it was hard for me to go grocery shopping, period. Mhm.

Oh yeah. We all went with you for a very long time.

Double carry. Which when they were infants, I can't double carry them like that.

No.

Front and back. And then I had the stroller.

Yeah. No, no. So those are obviously bigger. Well, the Bobby's not like a bigger ticket, but a carrier. Well, it's two kinds of carriers, I guess. But um, those, those are, those are probably the top three most important. I just feel like as first time moms, you think you need a lot more than what you actually need.

So like get some wise. White onesies, some burp rags, bottles, uh, if you need them. Formula, obviously. And like, you, they just don't need a lot. You can go crazy ham and get all the coolest, best things out. Right. Or you can just get the bare minimum and, like, just get what you need when you need it.

Like, there's Amazon. Amazon overnights. Like, if you're like, oh, that would be so nice in this moment, then just buy it, and it's on your doorstep.

Yeah. And it's something to be said that you don't. Your baby has a personality, you know.

Like, the moment they're conceived, basically. Yeah.

I feel like Logan and Hayden and Georgia all had different personalities in the womb.

Right.

So when they come out, they have strong preferences.

Yeah.

Like, Logan loved the swings. George.

Yeah.

Them, they prefer to just beef on the flat ground.

Yeah. With Jameson, I think we went through several different types of swings because I was like, one of these has got to work. It's just. It's so annoying. So, yeah, I would. I would start out minimum.

Yeah. Keep it bare minimum. Learn your kids. Figure out what you need as a mom, not what other moms are telling you.

Yeah.

And then go from there. That's.

Yeah.

Kind of our top three there, though.

Okay.

I do have one more baby.

Okay. Oh, wait. I do too. Let's see if we say the same one.

I'm gonna say the shaker bottle.

Oh, that's a really good one. I'm not gonna say that, but I have another good one.

Okay.

So I actually told one of our.

Friends about this, because I was watching a video of her, and she was making, um, formula infant bottles.

Yeah.

And she was shaking them, and I was like, oh, I should tell her about. They make these, like, mini. Mini protein shaker bottles for baby bottles.

Basically, the little wire balls.

Yeah. And it cuts down how much foam they make. They mix easier because, like, we were using, um, specific formulas for my twins, and they would just, like, not mix.

No, it's awful.

And I tried so many different ways of mixing it, even a frother. And I was like, well, that's not working, because it. It frothed the milk. And I found these shaker bottle mixer things by chance. Honestly, like, I don't even. I can't even remember.

It was probably like, a 3am in the middle of the night. Yeah.

Uh, and I was like, oh, this has got to work, because they both had terrible reflux, and I just. I had to figure it out. Um, and, yeah, those were a lifesaver.

Yeah.

So great. And we travel a lot. Like, we get out of the house a lot. So having something convenient like that to help us be able to prep bottles is so nice.

Yeah.

That's one of my big recommendations. If you do formula.

Yep. Okay. Mine is anything of the Frida line. Free to mom. Frida baby Frida. Whatever it is, buy it. Buy the big gift pack if no one gets it for you. Buy all the free to mom, um, postpartum care, nursing stuff. Buy it all. Yeah, like the silicone things, uh, to put over your scar.

Like, my doctor actually recommended so many. Cool. They're amazing. It's literally the best.

Yeah, it's really. Honestly, free is the best stuff. But the number one thing is the booger sucker.

Yeah. They're a baby.

It's disgusting.

It is so, uh, gross. They have the electronic one now. Did you have the electric one? I didn't have that.

Wow.

Yeah, well, no, no, no. It's gross of the night and your kid is. Yeah.

It's not sucked out because they're sick and they're little. It's one, disgusting because you have to rinse it out immediately.

Yep.

Uh, and two, the electric one might scare them a little bit.

Yeah.

Because it is.

Oh, for sure. Right out. Yeah.

That's bizarre. I don't think I've actually seen that before.

I'll have to show you ours. We still have it. I haven't really used it because. Because they're just older now. They fight me too hard.

Yeah, right. You can't hold them down. Headlock them in. Um, okay, let's move on. So our next one is biggest tip for moms of littles kids under two.

Give yourself grace. Give your kids grace. You all are learning together.

Everybody's doing their best.

Um.

Yeah. Belief. Be flexible.

Yeah, I mean, I definitely. Okay. This is going to be something that like literally every like guru person.

Mhm.

Says doesn't say. I don't really believe in schedules. I think that having a rigid schedule with your kid is just setting you and your kid up for failure.

Absolutely.

Be flexible in that, you know, if bedtime needs to flex a little bit, that's fine. Uh, have a routine.

Have a routine. Yeah.

You don't have set times in your head.

Mhm.

You're just setting yourself up.

I've seen so many parents that it really like kind of ruins your life if you're like. I mean, if you want to go on vacation and they can't sleep, not in their own bed, or fall asleep when you guys are out on the go. Like, it really limits you.

You really want them to functioning.

Why can they go anywhere?

Right? Yeah. Yeah. And then they get. Yeah. When they get older. Yeah, no, that's.

That's.

That's a, uh. That's a really good one.

Yeah, that. That's kind of one of the things that I feel like benefited me a lot with both. With girls was that I kind of like. And like, I'm really like. It's funny because I'm like a very punctual person.

Yeah.

Uh, usually. But I was like, I don't believe in schedules.

Right.

It kind of goes against my.

Uh. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty broad. But I. That's. Honestly, that's what. Ah. Uh, the best tip. Be flexible.

Sh.

Things are going to happen.

Yeah. Things change.

I was going to say. Yeah. I don't really want to mark our podcast as explicit, so

I did not say that word. Um, anyway. Okay, so that's what I got for that.

Me too.

Tips, uh, on minimizing screen time.

Okay, this. This is a tough one because obviously I like to approach screen time as it is not a bad thing necessarily, but it's a tool and so I try to use it like that.

Yeah. Especially when they're little. The person who submitted this has, um, Their. Her oldest is the twins age. So. Screen time. Screen time for really littles.

Yeah. So my toddler twins, they're two. Um, they have recently kind of gotten more into screen time. So what I try to do is I try to really be like, even with Logan, who's five, I do really intentional stuff. Like for tablets, like, it's educational apps. It's things. It's something they're gained from.

I think they have like, one game and it's because, um, Delilah has it on her phone and we can obsess with it.

Is the hair salon. Yes.

So that is on the tablets. And I'm like, okay, that's not terrible.

It's like hair, basically.

But I try to be really, like, intentional with what's on there. Uh, and then I also, like, feel like your kids aren't gonna really focus in on tablets and screen time if you're not like, policing it at time. Like, if you're not being on top of them about it, because the more you take it away and the more you're like, oh, no, you have limited time.

They're more like, oh, so this is special. This is like, something I should be wanting. Um, so I try to be relaxed with that, but also encourage like, hey, we have play dough. Hey, we Have. I have a whole activity cabinet my girls are obsessed with and get into all the time.

And then I have lots of out door stuff that they love to do. So they'll spend a good chunk of their time just between those two areas of our house. Outside activity cabinet that they have free access to all three of them. Um, and then our playroom, which also has very intentional toys in it as well.

Yeah. So for me and the bigger kids, it is. Does not look anything like your experience so far. Because my screen time for them, I think that it honestly messes with their attitudes. And so when they get too much of it and they'll just be glued to it, when they can do so many things, they forget how to do all those other things.

So we have an, um, art closet full of all the things and they have free rein, but they will insist that there is literally nothing to do. So I have to take it away and I put the everything up in the closet and they get it taken away often.

Yeah, I feel like, uh, obviously kids, when they're older, they give you a lot more.

Oh, yeah.

My kids are five and under.

Right.

I'm sure that I'll start having that. Logan's definitely became more like, oh, I'm just gonna play on the tablet. And I've had to be more like, you know, we have other things to do. Why don't we do something outside or like suggestions? Um, and I'm sure those are things that I'll probably have to readjust as we get.

You'll run into it. Yeah. Um, no, definitely with the age my kids are now. Screen time, the TV and stuff is. Is, uh, we go in and out of it being like a reward thing. It's like you need to get your chores done before you can do this. Or we always change it.

It's always changing. And we go through different seasons. Right. So sometimes I like, yeah, take it.

Go.

Leave me alone. Like, I've got other things I need to do or get done or whatever.

That's totally valid as a parent.

Oh yeah,

Welcome back.

Hello.

Happy Friday. We are doing a Q A style, um, episode. This time we put out on our Wildlings Unleashed Instagram page for all of you guys to join us and ask us questions about literally anything from personal to motherhood to just our opinion on things, if you really want to hear that.

Um, and you guys delivered. We got some great questions. I think we have over 30 questions from y'all. Um, and they're, they're really great and really thought provoking. So it's gonna be fun listening to our side stories. Let me just put that out there. Now it's gonna be a little off the cuff.

We really didn't have time to prep for these questions either. I didn't even really see them.

Yeah, I saw them, but I, like, haven't had a chance to even, like, think about them. And so. You guys are great. We love these questions. We breezed through them right before we started this recording.

You're in for a treat, though.

Yeah, it's gonna be real interesting if you want to talk about a chaotic episode.

Uh, yeah. And we have a. What is this? Like, a super fan?

Yes.

Yeah. Most these questions came from the same person who literally is our super fan.

Yeah.

Podcast and just everything in life. And, uh, we're excited to dive into some of these questions.

Right. Yeah, she did some really good ones. Um, and we will be announcing our winner for this too, because we did a little mini giveaway to help you guys feel motivated to contribute. Um, so we'll probably announce the winner in the morning, probably after this recording.

Perfect. Perfect. All right. We have these categorized, uh, a little bit somewhat. So we've got some parenting tips and experiences, uh, and also motherhood based questions, family relationships, personal questions about us, fun and light hearted, and then a couple of deep and more reflective questions.

So it's gonna be fun.

Yeah, we're just going to kind of see how quickly we have two pages. We have two pages of questions. I don't remember if I said that already. So we're just going to start off.

Okay. But I think we need to start off this episode with Alicia sharing the drink she made us today.

Okay. It's going to be, like, past. A little bit past, like, fallness, but so good. So I was on the HEB app, uh, going through the coupons, and there was a coupon for the sua. What is it? The cold pressed juice?

Yeah, the suja.

Uh, apple spiced apple cider. It's so good.

It is so good.

It's so good. So as soon. So it has like cinnamon ginger clove in it. And then the. The cold pressed apples. And I opened it and tried it cold and I was like, okay, this is so good. But immediately I was like, this has to be warm like the Starbucks, uh, hot apple cider.

Apple cider. Yeah.

So Alex came over and I. I was thinking about it and I was like, hey, I'm gonna make this caramel with this suja cold pressed juice. And it's so good.

It is so good.

And I'm out of it now, but.

I'm gonna have to go to Heb and get some because she's leaving next week. And now, uh, I'm gonna need to just go stalk myself because normally she would be like, I'm gonna go get more.

When I find something I love this much. I usually do like. Yeah, like four or five every time I go to the store.

Yeah. So now I'm going to have to go stalk us. Which has been the same thing with the oops.

I had bought the last one. Really? I'm going to look it up.

Yeah, I feel like it was.

I didn't think I was going to find it at all.

Yeah, they're always out of stock of the apple crisp. Oop, too. But every time I go to the store, I find them. So I've been buying them and I even got some for you. Yeah.

Nope, see, it's still in there. We need to go tonight. No, let me add it to my.

List though, and then go look because.

I feel like it's been kind of finicky lately.

Yeah, it says they still have it. It is not still on sale though.

Oh, uh, well, it's probably still worth the full price value anyways. Yeah, go get the sua apple cider spiced. What have you spiced apple cider Organic cold pressed juice. It's a mouthful, but it is really tasty.

It is ridiculously good. Um, I heated it up and just put a little bit of caramel in it.

Yeah, it's delicious. We're drinking it right now.

Yeah, I finished mine, like way earlier.

Okay, well, I'm drinking mine still. Yeah.

Okay, so first question here is. I feel like some of these are gonna be kind of hard to answer. Right. Just off the cuff, but top three recommended products for a first time mom that you just can't live without.

The boppy.

Oh, we did just have this conversation not that long ago.

Yeah, 100% the boppy. Even when I didn't. Yeah, even I. I didn't even breastfeed the twins except for like A week. And then they were like, we're done. Um, and the boppy was just the best tool. Even with Logan. I use that. I mean I did breastfeed her like forever, but I didn't even use it for breastfeeding.

I used it for like activity, play tummy time, helping her learn how to sit properly. The boppy is just the best. And kids.

And we've always used it for the medium or big kids to like help hold newborns. Mhm. Support their heads and everything.

Yeah. 100 get a boppy. Not the one that's like the big circle pillow, but the one that is the U shape. Yeah. Um, that's a good one.

So that's number one.

Yeah. Bear with us guys. Oh.

Oh.

A Tula.

Oh, a baby carrier. So I was a big baby wearing mama when my kids were little. My kids are 8 and 11 now, so obviously way removed. But it was huge part of my life.

Yeah. A long time.

Um, and so I feel like I had all the different carriers where I'd at least tried all the different carriers in wraps, slings, all the things. But ultimately I went from an Ergo to a Tula. And then what did we. We had a baby one and then we had a toddler one.

Mhm.

Uh, so easy to buckle them in. You can use them for newborn up.

Yeah. So for me, I got Leisha's hand me down Tulas which was so nice because they last forever. So if you can find somebody who's retiring from that.

Yeah, we are. It actually makes me a little sad. I know. Um, yeah, that makes me a little sad. Uh, I actually started out though with a wrap for Logan. I got the Moby Wrap.

Yes.

And it was so nice because she practically lived on me. Like she was always carried. Um, so she was either in a wrap or Tula. And the wraps are really nice when they're newborns because they, it just holds them so close to you and you can breastfeed really easily with them.

So um, definitely recommend a wrap, a tula, a ring, sling. Um, you. There's like usually groups you can go to. Yeah.

So in Washington, uh, when I quit working I was looking for something, something to do, something to be part of and found a baby wearing group for our county, um, local to San Antonio. I'm actually, I have no idea what.

Is here cuz like I said, why would you that I have no clue.

But I'm sure you can find a local Facebook group and ours used to have like a live library, um, that you could come and they would have like days where you could come and try out and borrow like people's, um, literally borrow them if you wanted, but they would put them out on a table and we could try different ones before you bought them because they are.

They can be pricey and be an investment, so.

But they're so worth it.

They really are.

Um, but yeah, I just thought of another really good one that's usually like our go to. Is to skip the infant carrier car seats.

Oh my gosh. Yes.

Convertible one that will fit your baby.

Yeah, that's a skip carry them with the carrier.

That's our favorite product.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, that was always our. That's. That's a big one.

You just are wasting your money with it. They grow out of it so quickly and then you're just stuck with this infant carrier.

Yeah, it's just. Although we, we were talking about the one. The Dunas.

I think it's the Duna that can.

Turn into like the stroller ones.

Yeah.

But then I still think it's kind of a pain when you go to the grocery store. I've literally seen moms pushing the stroll. Pushing the car seat, stroller and a.

Cart at the same time with just them.

And I'm like, well, that doesn't. That seems.

Yeah. So that was like, not an option for me as a twin mom. Like, they. You're very limited when you have twins, first off, because you need doubles of everything, which there's just a very limited market for that stuff. But on top of the fact if I had something like that, I wouldn't even be able to have a cart like at all.

Um, and even as being a twin mom, it was hard for me to go grocery shopping, period. Because. Yeah, because I was like, I have to put them in something. Either I have to double carry, which when they were infants, you. I can't double carry them like that. Um, front and back.

And then, uh, I had the stroller. Can't really do locker shopping with the stroller.

No. So those are obviously bigger. Moab is not like a bigger ticket, but a carrier. Well, it's two kinds of carriers, I guess.

But yeah, it kind of is.

Um, those. Those are, those are probably the top three most important. I just feel like as first time moms, you think you need a lot.

More than what you do need.

So like, get some w. White onesies, some burp rags, uh, bottles if you need them. Formula, obviously.

M. They just don't need a lot.

Yeah, you can go crazy ham and get all the coolest, best things out.

I mean, totally. But you're just wasting your money for the most part.

Or you can just get the bare minimum and, like, just get what you need when you need it.

There's Amazon.

Amazon overnights.

Right.

If you're like, oh, that would be so nice in this moment, then just buy it, and it's on your doorstep.

Yeah. And it's something to be said that you don't. Your baby has a personality, you know, like, from the moment they're conceived, basically. Like, I feel like Logan and Hayden and Georgia all had different personalities in the womb. Um, so when they come out, they have strong preferences. Like, Logan loved the swings.

Georgian hated. Both hated them. Um, they preferred to just beef on the flat ground or in their boppies.

Because I was like, one of these has got to work.

One of these has got to be the trick.

So, yeah, I would. I would start out minimum.

Yeah. Keep it bare minimum. Learn your kid. Figure out what you need as a mom, not what other moms are telling you you need. Really. Um, and then go from there. That's kind of our top three there, though. Okay. I do have one more baby item.

Oh, wait. I do, too.

Oh, do you? I'm gonna say the shaker bottle ball things. Yeah. I was like, you're not gonna say what I'm gonna say. Um, okay. So I actually told one of our friends about this because I was watching a video of her, and she was making, um, formula infant bottles, and she was shaking them, and I was like, oh, I should tell her about.

They make these, like, mini protein shaker bottles for baby bottles, basically. Yeah. And it cuts down how much foam they make. They mix easier because, like, we were using, um, specific formulas for my twins, and they would just, like, not mix. And I tried so many different ways of mixing it, even a frother.

And I was like, well, that's not working, because it frothed the milk. And I found these shaker bottle mixer things by chance. Honestly, like, I don't even. I can't even remember. It was probably, like, a 3:00am purchase. Yeah. Um, and I was like, oh, this has got to work, because they both had terrible reflux, and I just.

I had to figure it out. Um, and, yeah, those were a lifesaver. They were so great. And we travel a lot. Like, we get out of the house a lot. So having Something convenient like that to help us be able to prep bottles is so nice. So that's one of my big recommendations.

If you do formula.

Yep. Okay. Mine is anything of the fre line. Free to mom.

Uh, okay. Yeah.

Free to baby fre. Whatever it is.

Free to anything. Buy the big gift pack.

If no one gets it for you, buy all the Free to mom postpartum.

Yeah, I was going to say they have the postpartum care, too. Uh, and they even have C section, like, postpartum care and silicone things to.

Put over your scar.

Right. Which my doctor actually recommended doing. Yeah, they're amazing.

It's literally the best.

Yeah, it's really, honestly free to make the best stuff, but the number one thing is the booger sucker. For real, when they're a baby, it's disgusting. I got the electric one and it works really well. But.

But if it's like the middle of the night and your kid is needing their snot sucked out because they're sick and they're little, it's one, disgusting because you have to rinse it out immediately. Um, and two, the electric one might scare them a little bit.

Yeah.

Because it is, like, sucking it right out. So it does have a light, though, to, like, distract them.

That's bizarre. I don't think I've actually seen that before.

I'll have to show you ours. We still have it. I haven't really used it because they're just older now. They fight me too hard.

Yeah, right? You can't fold them down.

Yeah, yeah. Headlock.

Okay, let's move on. So our next one is biggest tip for moms. Uh, of littles. Kids under two.

Give yourself grace. Give your kids grace. You all are learning together.

Everybody's doing their best.

Yeah. Be flexible.

Yeah, I mean, I definitely. Okay. This is going to be something that, like, literally every, like, guru person, I swear, says doesn't say. I don't really believe in schedules. I think that having a rigid schedule with your kid is just setting you and your kid up for failure. Absolutely.

Be flexible in that. Like, you know, if bedtime needs to flex a little bit, that's fine. Have a routine. Absolutely. But don't have set times in your head. You're just setting yourself up to for frustration.

Parents that. It really, like, kind of ruins your life.

It ruins your life.

Like, I mean, if you want to go on vacation and they can't sleep.

They can't. Right.

When you guys are out on the go, like, it really limits you.

Right. And then. And then you're like, why are they not functioning? Why can't I go anywhere with them? And it's like, because you were too rigid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then they get. Yeah. When they get older. Yeah, no, that's. That's a. That's a really good one.

Yeah, that. That's kind of one of the things that I feel like benefited, uh, me a lot with both. With all three of my girls, was that I kind of, like, am like. I'm really, like. It's funny because I'm like, a very punctual person and stuff usually, but I was like, I don't believe in schedules.

Right.

It kind of goes against my. My natural disposition.

Uh, yeah. I mean, that's pretty broad, but I. That's. Honestly, that's.

Yeah.

The best tip. Flexible. Things are going to happen.

Yeah. Things change. You were going to say something else.

I don't really want to mark our.

Podcast explicit for one curse word. Yeah, I did not say that word. Yeah.

Uh, anyway. Okay. So that's what I got for that.

Me too.

Uh, tips on minimizing screen time.

This. This is a tough one because obviously I like to approach screen time as. It is not a bad thing necessarily, but it's a tool, and so I try to use it like that. Yeah.

The person who submitted this has their. Her oldest is the twins's age.

Right. So screen time.

Screen time for really little.

Yeah. So my toddler twins, they're two. Um, they have recently kind of gotten more into screen time. So what I try to do is I try to really be like. Even with Logan, who's five, I do really intentional stuff, like, for tablets, like, it's educational apps. It's learning things.

It's something they're going to game from. Um, I think they have, like, one game, and it's because, um, Delilah has it on her phone and Logan became obsessed with it is the hair salon game.

So.

So that is on the tablets. And I'm like, okay, but that's not terrible. It's like hair grooming, basically. Um, but I try to be really, like, intentional with what's on there. Um, and then I also, like, feel like your kids aren't gonna really focus in on tablets and screen time if you're not, like, policing it a ton.

Like, if you're not being on top of them about it, because the more you take it away and the more you're like, oh, no, you have limited time. They're more like, oh, so this is specific, special. This is, like, something I should be wanting. Um, so I try to be relaxed with that, but also encourage, like, hey, we have play.

D'oh. Hey, we have. I have a whole activity cabinet my girls are obsessed with and get into all the time. And then I have lots of outdoor stuff that they love to do. So they'll spend a good chunk of their time just between those two areas of our house.

Outside activity cabinet that they have free access to all three of them. And then our playroom, which also has very intentional toys in it as well.

Yeah. So for me and the bigger kids, it is. Does not look anything like your experience so far. Because my screen time for them, um, I think that it honestly messes with their attitudes. So when they get too much of it and they'll just be glued to it, when they can do so many things, they forget how to do all those other things.

So we have a art closet full of all the things and they have free reign, but they will insist that there is literally nothing to do.

Right.

So I have to take it away and I put the everything up in the closet and they get it taken away often.

Yeah. I feel like, um, obviously kids, when they're older, they give you a lot more push back. Yeah. My kids are 5 and under, so I'm sure that I'll start having that. Logan's definitely became more like, oh, I'm just going to play on the tablet. And I've had to be more like, you know, we have other things to do.

Why don't we do something outside or like, suggestions. Um, and I'm sure those are things that I'll probably have to readjust as we get older and grow. Yeah, yeah.

Um, no, definitely the age my kids are now. Screen time, the TV and stuff is. Is, uh, we go in and out of it being like a reward thing. It's like, you need to get your.

Chores done before you can do this.

We always change it. It's always changing. And we go through different seasons. Right. So sometimes I like. Yeah, take it. Go. Leave me alone.

Um, Right. Right.

Other things I need to do or get done or.

Right. And I think that's totally valid as a parent. Like,

Screen time. Uh, just set up lots of activities for them. Have lots of activities they have free access to in general, whether they're big or little.

Reevaluate as you go, because.

Yeah, I'll.

Working now, might not work later. And don't be like, oh, this was working. Be flexible, as we've said before, and readjust. Their kid's going to be changing. They're growing. You're growing.

Yep, absolutely. Um, all right, you want to ask. Ask a few or say a few.

Screen time. Just set up lots of activities for them. Have lots of activities.

Right. And, you know, reevaluate as you go, because something that's working now might not work later. And don't just be like, oh, uh, this was working. Be flexible, as we've said before, and readjust. Their kid's going to be changing. They're growing. You're growing.

Yep, absolutely. Uh, all right, you want to ask. Ask a few m. Or say a few.

Okay. Tips for getting kids to share. And this, again, comes from somebody who had younger kids. Close in age, but younger.

Okay. So when my kids were really little, we definitely started out, and I. I actually. I still do this because even with yours, we don't share.

Yeah.

Uh, we take turns. Because it. When somebody explained this to me one time of like, well, if this person, you know, that was just an acquaintance came up to you and said, can I borrow your car? Or, like, can we share your car? Well, no, like, you're not going to just let somebody take your car that you barely know or whatever.

So we usually take turns. And so that would look like, uh, you know, if they're playing with.

I don't know. I don't know what. What something is. But, like, uh, you get five turns for that, and then it's the next person's turn or, you know, kind of teaching the kids to be like, even I, you know, I would like to play with that. When can I have a turn?

You know, instead of, like, I like to.

So, yes, I think that taking turns is a version of sharing.

Yeah.

But. But more structured sharing.

Right.

I also also feel like I try to give. Logan's the only one, really, where I have this to do with right now because of the age where I like to let her have things that are hers.

Yeah. She says, no, they can't play with it.

They can't play with it.

Yeah.

Because it is hers. And that's. She's valid in being able to say no.

Oh, yeah. We. So when my kids were little like her, we did that, too. So if the kids had something special, I would always. If we have kids coming Over. I say you need to go put that up. If you don't want other kids to play with it, you get to have that choice, but you have to put it away.

This is actually really funny because there was a whole bluey episode.

Oh gosh.

About um, you know, when you have special toys or something, you really don't want the other kids to play with or whatever. Um, put it away. Mhm.

Somewhere like mom safe. Yeah, whatever.

If you have to. Um, that way it's a non issue.

Yep.

Other ways the kids are going to.

Want to play with it.

And I set Logan up for that too, a lot. And she's pretty. Like there's very few things where she's like, no one can touch it.

Right.

Um, but for those few things, I'm like, you need to go put it in my room then.

Right. Yeah. For you. If it's an absolute no touch item, then it has to be put away. Yep. We totally. We did that too. So. Yeah. We don't do like you. You have to share. I don't feel like we use that language at all. It's ever like you need to share.

Like I pretty well, I feel like have removed that from my parenting language. Is take turns. Um,

yeah. Or like, um, we have timers all over my house because my kids heavily rely on timers at certain points. Yeah. So we, we do a lot of that. Or like if they're coloring, I'll. You know. And they. There's only one blue crayon. You know, we'll just make up something.

It's like, okay, will you get a couple more lines to draw or whatever. And then it's so and so's turn.

Right. So with like coloring for Logan and the girls, it's usually Logan who's the troublemaker.

She's older.

Drawing.

Right.

Before you can take the crayon.

Yeah.

You're done with the blue.

Yeah.

Then you can.

Yeah, yeah. Definitely that. Sometimes I feel like the kids will hear that though, and then they will never give it up. And so then I like to put a boundary on. Okay. You get one more minute or you get three more.

Right.

Draw. You know, draws the kid also the age. Right.

They're two, so they're coloring. They're just.

Oh. And they're just gonna throw it anyways and be over it. But yeah. Yeah. So. Nope. Never been really like a, uh. You have to share, right? I don't share well. Like, honestly, like, if you really want to talk about sharing, I am the worst. Share. Do not ask to share food with me.

I hate it when people want to share. Like, try something. I think as I get older, I've been better. Like, people are like, I want to try that, but I don't share. Well.

Try this.

Yes. But I just don't.

Yeah.

I. I am a sharer.

Yeah.

Like, like, and it bothers me because Cody's not a sharer.

Really?

Like you. Yeah.

So funny.

Okay. It's funny because he's like, a giver.

Yeah. Yeah.

So he will give stuff in abundance.

Yeah.

But he does not like to share. So, like, one thing for me is, like, I really like to share things I enjoy.

Right.

With him in particular. And I'll be like, something tastes really good. I'm like, you need to try it. He's like, no. And it kind of feels.

I. I can maybe see that with Jesse too, because I. Yeah. I just. No, no, don't. He'll want to, like, share a bowl of ice cream with me. And I'm like, no. I literally would rather die.

It's the worst.

Oh, yeah. I don't. Nope. That's not. Oh, man. You will see me give a. Yeah. I'm, like, cringing. But if, like, my kids want to drink of something, it's like a once in a blue moon thing. I literally. I have no issue being like, this is mine. This is my treat, or this is my thing.

They are almost shocked when I share with them.

Yeah.

And they know. They'll ask and they expect that I'll say no. But then when I don't, they're like, what?

So I'll share, like, food really well with the. With everybody. But drinks. I have a little bit of a. Like, it depends on what it is because, like, a straw drink, fine. But like, a soda can drink. It kind of grosses me out to share those.

Yes.

Just collects.

Yes.

You know, Grosses me out.

Yeah. So when the girls have your cans, it's when you're done with it.

And I'm like, I'm not taking that back.

Not drinking any of that.

I honestly hate sharing because they're so slobbery.

Yeah. So food, sure.

Cuz they're not slobbering.

Right.

But drinks, like, even, like, they'll steal my m. Water cups that I always have, like the brunet or. Or whatever. And they'll be drinking from it.

And I'm like, well, yeah, I got to wash that. Gross. Yuck. All right, moving on.

Okay. Tips for getting. Oh, no, we already did that one. That was one we just did.

Oh, did you want to rehash it? No.

Okay. Hardest part about parenting that people don't talk about Enough. There's a lot about parenting that people don't talk about.

So when I had Delilah, she was a very, uh, difficult one for me. She still is. And so from when she was born, she was very high maintenance. Literally, like you said, they come out with personalities. She did. And she has always been very high maintenance, high needs, sensitive, stubborn, strong headed, like strong willed, like all the.

All the things. But let's just put out there that.

Delilah has strong leans towards Alicia's personality.

Oh, yeah, she does.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I feel like me now, not me as a kid, because mom will tell, you know, you ask her and she's like, you guys never acted like this, but so it's like the unfiltered me. Maybe I was filtered when I was younger and now I'm not. And she's like me now.

Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe that is what's going on.

Um, so that. That's. That was hard. That has always been hard. And I don't think it'll get any easier. Is just dealing with who they are as a person and you don't want to, like, stifle them, you know, you want them to be able to have their personalities and be who they are.

But dang, that's hard, right?

I mean, yeah, I could see that. I could see that.

Yeah.

I don't really have that.

No.

I mean, as much as, like, Logan and the Twitch challenge me, I kind of love it when they challenge me. I do. And I don't in the moment, but, like, after the fact, I fact I do because I'm like, they're just growing to be strong.

Right.

That makes me really happy. Um, you know, things I think that just in parenting that we just don't talk about enough is just like the struggle of it, you know, like the mental load. Particularly mother have. Like, we take on so much extra stuff and we're just expected to know how to do it, you know?

Okay. Tips for getting kids to share. And this, again, comes from somebody who has younger kids. Close in age, but younger. Okay.

So when my kids were really little, we definitely started out, and I. I actually. I still do this because even with yours, we don't share.

Yeah.

Uh, we take turns. Because it. When somebody explained this to me one time of like, well, if this person, you know, that was just an acquaintance came up to you and said, can I borrow your car? Or, like, can we share your car? Well, no, like, you're not going to just let somebody take your car that you barely know or whatever.

So we usually take turns. And so that would look like, you know, if they're playing with.

I don't know. I don't know what. What something is. But, like, um, you get five turns for that, and then it's the next person's turn or, you know, kind of teaching the kids to be like, even I, you know, I would like to play with that. When can I have a turn?

Right. Instead of like, I like to. So, yes, I think that taking turns is a version of sharing, but. But more structured chair, basically. I also feel like I try to give. Logan's the only one really, where I have this to do with right now because of the age where I like to let her have things that are hers.

So if she says no, they can't play with it. Then they can't play with it, um, because it is hers. And that's. She's valid in being able to say no.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

So when my kids were little like her, we did that too. So if the kids had something special, I would always. If we have kids coming over and say, you need to go put that up.

Okay.

Other kids to play with it. You get to have that choice, but you have to put it away.

Yeah. This is actually really funny you said that because there was a whole bluey episode about just that about, um, you know, when you have special toys or something, you really don't want the other kids to play with or whatever. Um, put it away somewhere like mom's room, whatever if you have to.

Um, that way it's a non issue because other ways the kids are going to want to play with it. And I set Logan up for that too, a lot. And she's pretty. Like, there's very few things where she's like, no one can touch it. Um, but for those few things, I'm like, you need to go put it in my room then.

Right?

Yeah.

If it's an absolute no touch item, then it has to be put away. Yeah, we totally. We did that too. So. So yeah, we don't do like you. You have to share, right.

M. We use that language at all it's ever like, yeah, you need to share.

I pretty well, I feel like have.

Removed that from the take more like take take turns. Yeah. Like five minutes with XYZ or whatever. Yeah.

Or like we have timers all over my house because my kids heavily rely on.

Yeah. I use my phone timer a lot, but I also have my chicken timer on in the kitchen. Yeah.

So we, we do a lot of that. Or like if they're coloring, I was, you know, they. There's only one blue crayon. Just make up something is like, okay, will you get a couple more lines to draw or whatever. And then it's so and so's turn.

Right. So with like coloring for Logan, um, and the girls, it's usually Logan who's the troublemaker. Um, I go, yeah, you gotta let them finish their drawing before you can take the crayon. When they're done with the blue, then you can take your turn. Yeah.

But sometimes I feel like the kids will hear that though, and then they will never give it up.

That is true.

Okay, you get one more minute or you get three more.

Right. I think it depends on the kid and also the age too. So like the twins are. They're two, so they're coloring. They're just going to be done when they're done. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So. Nope. Never been really.

Like, you have to share, right?

I don't share. Well, if you really want to talk about sharing. I am the worst share. Do not ask to share food with me. I hate when people want to share. Like, try something. I think as I get older, I've been better. Like, people are like, I want to try that, but I don't share well.

Yeah. I can think of a few times where you've been like, oh, here, you need to try this. Yeah. But, um, I feel like that's because we're pretty close, too. So I. I am a sharer. I feel like, like, and it bothers me because Cody's not a sharer like you.

Yeah. So, okay. It's funny because he's, like, a giver, but he's not a sharer. So he will give stuff in abundance, but he does not like to share. So, like, one thing for me is, like, I really like to share things I enjoy with him in particular, because he's my husband.

Um, and I'll be like, something tastes really good. I'm like, you need to try it. And he's like, no. And it kind of feels like he's letting me down or something. And I'm like, why.

Share a bowl of ice cream with me? And I'm like, no, I literally would rather die.

Yeah. So Cody's the same way. Especially food. Like, food. Food and drinks. He does not like to share.

Nope. That's not. Oh, man. You will see me give a. Yeah. I'm, like, cringing. But if, like, my kids want to drink or something, it's like a once in a blue moon thing.

Yeah.

Literally. I have no issue being like, this is mine.

This is my treat.

Or this is my.

Okay. They are almost shocked when you say, yeah. Yeah.

And they know. They'll ask, and they expect that I'll say no. But then when I don't, they're like, what?

So I'll share, like, food really well with the. With everybody. But drinks, I have a little bit of a. Like, it depends on what it is, because, like, a straw drink, fine. But, like, a soda can drink. It kind of grosses me out to share those because of the ridge on them.

Like, it just collects, you know? And so it kind of grosses me out a little bit.

So when the girls have your cans, that's when you're done with it.

Yeah. And I'm like, well, I guess I'm not taking that back. I honestly hate sharing with the twins because they're so slobbery. So food, sure. Because they're not slobbering on it. But drinks, like, even, like, they'll steal my water cups that I always have, like the brume or my Starbucks tumbler or whatever.

And they'll be drinking from it. And I'm like, well, yeah, I gotta wash that now. Yeah.

All right, moving on.

Okay, Tips for getting. Oh no, we already did that one. That was one we just did. Did you want to rehash it? Okay. Hardest part about parenting that people don't talk about enough. There's a lot about parenting that people don't talk about.

So when I have Delilah, she was a very difficult one for me.

She still is. Mhm.

So from when she was born, she was very hyper maintenance.

Mhm.

Literally like you said, they come out personalities. She did. She has always been very high maintenance, high needs, sensitive, stubborn, strong headed, like strong will, like all the things.

So let's just put out there that Delilah has strong leanings towards Alicia's personality. Yeah. So I feel like me now, not.

Me as a kid. Because mom will tell, you know, you ask her and she's like, you guys never acted like this.

But yeah, like the unfiltered me, maybe.

I was filtered when I was younger.

Now I'm not. Maybe. Yeah, yeah, maybe. Maybe that is what's going on.

Uh, so that, that's, that was hard. That has always been hard. And I don't think it'll get any easier. Is just dealing with who they are as a person.

Right.

I don't stifle them.

You're right.

You know, we want them to be able to have their personalities and be who they are. But dang, that's hard.

Right? I mean, yeah, I could see that. I can see that. Um, I don't really have that, that problem. I, I mean, as much as like Logan and the twins challenge me, I, I kind of love it when they challenge me. I do. And I don't like in the moment, I don't, but like after the fact, I fact I do because I'm like, they're just growing to be strong and comfortable in themselves, you know, and that makes me really happy.

Um, you know, things I think that just in parenting that we just don't talk about enough is just like the struggle of it, you know, like the mental load. Particularly mothers have. Like, we take on so much extra stuff and we're just expected to know how to do it, you know?

we get pregnant and pregnant and you know, that's a struggle in itself. And then we have this baby and.

Everyone just expects you to know what to do.

Know what to do. You not have to take care of yourself if you're healing from giving birth.

Hmm. Or major surgery.

And you were just expected to know from the beginning, all the way through their whole life.

Mhm. What to do, what to do, how.

To talk to them, what they need. Everything about them and no like real self reflection. Like moms just lose themselves.

Oh yeah. For years.

Yeah. So I feel like that's. That's a really hard part of parenting that is not talked about enough.

we get pregnant and it's like, okay, we're pregnant, and, you know, that's a struggle in itself. And then we have this baby, and everyone just expects you to know what to do. Know what to do. You not have to take care of yourself. And you're healing from giving birth to a child or a major surgery, which is, you know, still a type of giving birth.

But I. I, uh, mean, like, you're just. You're torn up, you're confused, you're exhausted. And you were just expected to know from the beginning, all the way through their whole life and, like, what to do, how to talk to them, what. What they need. Everything about them and no, like, real self reflection.

Like, moms just lose themselves.

Yeah. For years.

Yeah. So I feel like that's. That's a really hard part of parenting that is not talked about enough.

Yeah. So when you. After you have this little baby and you just. Yeah. You don't know what to do.

Yeah. You don't. I uh, do want to say that they're. I think that dad's also have a little bit of a struggle. Mhm. Know how to bond with this kid.

Right.

They feel kind of left out of the bonding a lot of the time. Like I know that Cody struggled a bit with like Logan in particular because he was like, I can't. It's not like I can feed her.

Right.

Breastfeeding her.

Mhm.

And I couldn't pump because she was just feeding so much. Like there was just. There was no way.

Yeah.

And he worked that crazy shift. So he was just, just like I feel like I can't bond with her.

Right. And then you're so busy, moms are so busy that you lose that like connection too for a while. That's probably something that's not talked about. Is the relationship between you and your husband or your partner is it goes non existent?

It can, yeah.

For a while. Until you get in a groove of things and you have this little thing to take care of and know.

Right. Honestly. Yeah, for sure. I mean, we had Logan in a really weird time of our lives, I feel like.

And in Covid, she was kind of a Covid baby.

Yeah. She turned one when Covid.

Yeah. When everything shut down.

Yeah. And so that was hard. That was really hard. And Cody and I definitely went through a rough patch.

I think.

I think most couples do when you have a new baby.

Oh yeah. Like a huge life adjustment.

Yeah. I mean, even with the twins, we went through a rough patch and it just. I feel like it just now basically. And they're two now has started.

Right.

And we're finding balance. Mhm. Uh, not to say that like, you know, Cody and I don't love each other in those moments. It's just that that love takes a backseat, you know?

Yeah, no, I totally, totally get it. I think even when they get older and busier, that happens too. Because then you're like just on the go all the time, something going on. Pick up schedules, dinner, get things ready for the next day, go to bed. There's just a lack of time.

It becomes where you're just kind of.

Like you're doing the routine, you're doing.

What you're supposed to be doing, but you're not taking a moment to just be like.

Yeah, right. Be intentional about the time that you're spending together.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cody actually went out of his way to set up like monthly dates for us and stuff and like little outings a week and stuff like that. So that's kind of sweet. That was like, really nice way for us to like reconnect again.

Yeah. For the twins.

So that was a good thing on our part. It's something that he communicated like wanting meeting because I definitely wasn't like, let's go out on dates or anything.

Yeah. I don't, I don't usually either. I'm like, yeah, good for it, or good not to. I'm just so chill. Right. Whatever.

It has been really nice.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right, what's the next one on there thoughts on.

Uh-huh. Home birth.

That was never a need or want of mine, so I don't really have any thoughts about it. Yeah.

You know, I. Breathe briefly looked into it with Logan, not the twins, because I wasn't.

No option with it. Yeah.

Um, but I was just so scared of like. I mean, you know, I had a lot of pregnancy fear.

Yeah. Yeah.

Um, so I looked into it and.

I was like, I just, just can't.

Yeah, yeah, I know. That's I, uh. That never. I don't feel like that ever even crossed my mind. Is something. Something that I was interested in and. Which is kind of funny because I lean way crunchy and. Nope. Nope. But, uh, then I also. I mean, for the. Maybe, you know, I'm pretty intuitive with my body and Delilah was a C section.

And then I did try to do a V back with Jameson and it was a failed V back because both my kids don't want to come out straight. They wanted to go all. Every different direction besides out. So maybe it just wasn't. It's just not in the cards for me.

Was never. So it never was. Uh, my thoughts for other people. I mean, I think that they're incredibly strong for doing it. Doing that at all. I think it's beautiful. They all describe it as like the best thing. I totally could see that less intervention.

So my two thoughts on it. Obviously, I don't think even if I have another kid, I don't even think that's something I would put on the table for myself because I have so many fears around.

Yeah.

Birth. Uh, but I do think it's beautiful. Amazing experience. I'm sure, because, like, you get to.

Do that in your home and your comfort. It's calm.

I do think, though, that it would make me never want to sell my house.

Oh, like memories wise. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You hear people talking about how all the memories that they made in their homes. And I'm sure now that I'm like, thinking back and I'm like, yeah, that I'm sure is a huge thing that people. Moms.

With that.

Yeah.

Too. Um, and I already struggled with selling our. Our last house because that is where.

Logan had like, oh, and you guys. Yeah. This. Everything. Yeah.

So that was hard for us. And so I can't even imagine if.

I gave birth in the house.

I would have been like, we can.

We're never, never leaving.

Yeah. All right.

Uh, thoughts on homeschool.

I don't have the patience for that at all. But with the way things have been the last couple years and the school's, I'll say, apparent. In Texas, uh, we made the shift to a charter school, which has been much better than the public school, our neighborhood one. But, uh, I want to always say that I don't have the patience for it, but I feel one day it may come back to the table as a real.

There's so many options now with home school, too.

Yeah.

Not necessarily you having to teach, but just encourage them to be proactive on.

Doing what they're doing.

I love.

We had to talk Alex into sending Logan to school. Yes, we did.

I got talked into it. She does love school. I think it's great that she learned, loves it. She loves teacher. And she gets a lot more kid exposure this way. Because I'm not the most social people. I would take her to the park and stuff like that. But you know, like I don't socialize with the mother.

So then like Logan's meeting these people one time basically.

Yeah.

Never making those like deeper connections. Um, but I will say that I, I really love homeschool. I think that it's so nice you can tailor it to your kids needs. Like Logan is a very active person and she kind of learns a lot like how your brother does hands on, like visualized.

Um, and that was something I could provide to her because I did do homeschooling for the year before I sent her to charter school. So technically she was preschool. But I was doing like a hybrid uh, of preschool, kindergarten, um, classes with her. And it was so nice because it was like recently spent an hour a day.

She would learn so much and she felt really close with me because it was like bonding time for her where it's dedicated time. And she just grew to love learning even more. And I just, I just love homeschool. I just love it. And I, I ended up sending her to charter because I have the twins.

Mhm.

And they also are very busy.

Right.

So.

So staying, keeping that structure. Yeah.

I just kind of felt like I was maybe doing them all a disservice a little bit if I couldn't keep up with that once the twins got.

Older and started interfering more or I think you were looking forward to having the time with just the twins too. Like you got had just that time with Logan and there's two of them. M. So it will never be like it was when you just had one baby. But you get to spend that.

That time with them. Oh no.

That was like so peaceful. I swear I have a poop story every other day.

Oh yeah. Lately it's been. Yeah. Craziness.

Like climbing story. I just come. I just have daily.

Oh yeah.

From the twins?

Pretty much. Yeah.

They were actually kind of angels today though.

You shouldn't say that. Tomorrow. There's a tomorrow.

All right. Pick another one on there.

Okay. I'm gonna say this exactly how it was sent to us.

Are you. I know what one you're talking about. This is. Wait, wait.

Rate it explicit.

If we say that I don't know what counts as explicit.

I don't. Fine. I won't say it exactly how you know who you are.

Yep.

Breastfeeding outfit recommendations. We should you have any for that? Because if it knows. Been a while.

I didn't breastfeed that long either. So stretchy. Stretchy things.

Right. So I didn't really buy. Buy any special shirts. Mhm. Like that. I did however buy special bras from mom. Cozy is the brand.

Yeah.

So nice.

Yeah.

I love that brand. They have like, they actually expanded their brand and now they have like uh, pumps. Ah. They have strollers.

Oh yeah.

They have like clothes now. Like they have tons of stuff now. Uh, but they're bras. They're nursing bras were really nice and I really enjoyed those with both my kids. Uh, all three of my kids. I'm like lumped the twins together. Uh, but what I do recommend is doing we're in Texas.

So the benefit of being in Texas is there's a thing as layers and since it's cooling down, do a tank top and like a cardigan or.

Yeah.

Something like that where you can kind of COVID Cover up a little bit if you want to. Or not.

Multi purpose.

Yeah.

Clothes.

And the tank top can lift and you can even do two tank tops if you want to. Which is a tip I learned from another breastfeeding mom. Um. Um. And then you have one low, one high.

Yeah.

So then it's just like how the.

Breastfeeding ones are basically. Yeah. So you don't have to buy specific clothes and then your clothes last longer. So like work around it. But you just have to wear layers. Which in Texas in the summer would not be as. As ideal. Besides the. Yeah. I don't know. Layering.

Right. So the layering aspect. Um, also I did with like Logan because she's one. I breastfed. Really? Um, I Would. In the carrier. I could feed her.

Yeah.

And you're covered by the carrier, so that was convenient when we were like in outings and she was like, I need to eat basically. Mhm. Just feed her while we were walking around.

Yeah. With no. No issue.

Yeah. Uh, that's kind of my two cents there.

Yeah.

Yeah. I, I always like to avoid buying the specialty items like that because they. You retire them so quickly.

M Right.

And they're so expensive. Okay, let's see. You want to start doing a couple here?

All right.

Back and forth.

Okay. How. This one is kind of just for you. How do you handle? Well, actually, I have been here a lot of instances where this has happened. Um, how do you handle all the attention your twins get in public? I'm changing this question. Oh, I thought, I thought it said something else.

But how do you handle all the attention that your twins get in public?

You're just completely.

I'm changing it.

I can answer both questions.

Yeah.

Honestly, I don't handle it.

I know. Okay. But people are crazy about twins in public. And that's, that's literally nobody. If you don't have twins, you would never know. You would never know how crazy people are about twins in public.

So I kind of already knew because my mom.

Yeah.

Is an identical twin. And if her and my aunt went out anywhere with me, uh, and especially if they were wearing anything similar clothing wise, people would stare at them. Just stare at them and be like, huh?

Uh, yeah, yeah, dude, you can see. Yeah, come on.

And um, so I kind of got a taste of that growing up with my mom and my aunt. And then I have identical twins myself.

And, uh, people are weird, actually.

Okay, let me start this off with. Since the moment they came out of the loom, people have been obsessed with them.

Yes.

Once they kind of hit toddlerhood, that.

Obsession has kind of like, dwindled.

People have been less like all over me about them. Still interested, but not as like, overwhelming to me. Uh, but the other day I went to Costco and I happened to dress them in twin outfits, which I never do, like ever almost, because I just, I just don't. I just believe that they deserve their own outfits.

They're two different people.

Right.

But occasionally they get matching outfits. And this one was a one off experience. Matching bluey dresses. I go to Costco with your mom. Uh, and I couldn't walk one foot without being like tons of people going up to me. Oh, is there plants? Oh, there's so.

Oh, that's so crazy.

I just, I Have to bite my tongue a lot, honestly, because I don't handle it super great because I'm not the most social people, uh, so it can overwhelm me really easily. And I was kind of to the point where I was like, I just believe, like, I was gonna just ditch my grocery shopping cart and leave because it was just that overwhelming at Costco because other day and.

But I do have to bite my tongue. The sassy remarks I could possibly make that I have in the back of my mind.

Okay, now for the actual question, because I went a little unhinged there. Um, yeah. How do you handle all the attention the twins get and balancing that with your older daughter getting to feel special and loved?

You know, I think that's something that all parents going on, especially if there's like a bigger gap, uh, have to figure out how to balance. That was something that was really important to me, um, was that none of them felt like the favorite, if you.

Know what I mean.

Like, I don't want my kids to.

Feel like there's a favorite. That's funny. But yes, I get it.

Be not equal. Necessary. Because they're necessarily because they're different ages, but, like, equally convey how much I love and appreciate them in a way that makes sense to them. Uh, so a good way for Logan in particular is she really likes to be involved.

Yeah.

Uh, so having her be involved in a non parenting way with her sisters makes her feel equally involved. M. Equally loved. Uh, and part of it not excluded. And like, only they are getting attention. She feels like she's part of the attention. That's kind of how I handle it.

Yeah. Um, all right, we're gonna buzz through some of these. It's gonna be a long episode, so this one's actually kind of funny. How do you carve out me time? Podcast.

We decided we needed a hobby. That's why we're doing this podcast. Because every Wednesday we hole, uh, up in my, uh, home office and we record this podcast. No kids bother us for the most part. Yeah.

We drink some drinks sometimes we have snacks.

Snacks.

Sho.

Cuttery boards, chocolate. We're just laughing all the time. Um, but no, we also. We've been trying to get back in the habit of doing, like, mom's night out or like, lady, you know, girls night.

You did. Um, we go. We go on shopping. Things like, I don't know, maybe every other month or so we'll do like a girls day and go shopping, uh, without the kids.

Without the kids. Not always.

Not always. Delilah's to that age where she kind of tags along. But there's definitely times where I'm like no, I'm leaving. Um, so yeah, no, just try to.

We've gotten better about it for sure.

Yeah.

And then like a good way for me personally how I do me time. Like like just like m as like a.

What's the self care?

Self care? I guess. Yeah. For like just when I just need it.

Yeah.

Is like I love baths and I love reading. So either I will read or I will take a bath or I'll do both. Uh, and my husband Cody, he keeps the girls out. Mhm. And I just get that time to myself. And usually it's after dinner before bed time.

Yeah. I do that like a window.

Like a. A wind down. So I can handle doing bedtime.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. I've always been really huge on self care for moms because like we talked about before, you lose yourself. And so small wins, small things daily are huge. So when I started on this whole like self care journey and what that could look like with what I have available.

Mine is a shower every day because I'm a shower everyday person. If I don't shower, I'm a freaking momster. Like our pillow here, um, I just can't function. I have to shower every day and my coffee and so that's like why it's really hard for me to give up coffee and like switch to tea even because it's just not my coffee and that those are my two things every day that are like my piece.

Yeah.

So I also have like that's something in the morning. Like I just need my drink and it doesn't have to necessarily be coffee for me. It just needs to be something intentional, not just water.

Yeah.

Um, because sometimes I'll do like a chai or.

Yeah, do.

Or I'll buy myself a drink. Um, but if I like skip it.

Then I'm like, it's not the same sorts. Right.

You know, like, you just don't feel like you got what you needed.

Right?

Yeah.

So I try, always try to keep mine really, really, really simple because your self care doesn't have to cost money. And I think that so many people, a lot of time, it's just, um, it could be a moment where you just kind of recenter, um, and just give yourself that few moments.

Um, not making it over complicated. Um, we have a bunch more questions in this parenting and tips thing, but I feel like we've kind of touched on a lot of them. So I'm making the executive decision to move on to the next category. Um, our side stories. Catch most of those, I think so I think well enough you can look back through them.

But I'm going to show you the ones that I'm, I'm skipping. Um, how much this one is in the family. Family and relationships, maybe traditions. Um, how much do you spend per kid, um, for Christmas?

Well,

I don't. I usually just. I do. They have to have like equal amount of gifts and usually about the same price per gift. Like I try to balance it. Sometimes it's $10 off per item or something. But it's not like one kid got $50 and one got 200. Like it's never that far for birthdays though.

Like if we're going to a birthday party, which I know this is not what the question asked, but this is more where I have like a limit. If it's a birthday party and it's a friend from school or something, I usually do about $20 cap. And then for like family kids, it's usually like 40, 50, depending on what it is.

If they have a need or something, that's way cool. But usually it's about that, about that much. Um, and for Christmas, I usually keep that too for each kid. Because when your family has three kids.

No, I'm just kidding. Um, no, I. There's no really copying. There was something really cool and I was like, oh, like Logan needed this. I'm gonna probably just get it. Um, but.

Right. So I don't, I don't shop with, um, I don't shop with money in mind. Let me just. Yeah, that way I shop with value.

To the person in mind.

M. So for like my girls, I. They might not get the same amount of gifts but they'll get the same amount of joy and like right amount of like they're gonna be like loving what they got, not missing it.

Yeah.

Yeah. I'm sure. Like, like between Jameson and Delilah they're like oh, I got more gifts than you.

Oh right.

Yeah. We're different seasons of life so it's different mentality for our two families.

And I think even when which obviously I'll see I guess but saying this now, I think even when my girls get older I will just be reiterating that. You know, when people buy you gifts it's not. They're not thinking of how many items they can get you. They're thinking of what you're going to love.

So if you love the item a hundred times.

Right.

The gift.

Yeah. Ah.

And so I think it's important to just kind of teach your kids the value of why somebody's gifting you something.

Yeah.

Even if they don't necessarily like it. The. The thought is like you mattered enough for them go out of their way to go pick a gift for you and make. Try and make something that you like. Blah blah, blah. You know, the whole shebang.

Yeah.

But I definitely, I don't believe in budgets because I'm willing to buy what.

I'm going to buy basically if hearts like, like Delilah needs needed to have.

That the best thing ever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we're kind of kind of on the same. You said it way better than me but kind of on the same page. I do had the birthday gift thing.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I do try to somewhat budget. I honestly like my thoughts on gift giving holidays are very b humbug in general. Um so I struggle with it in cuz I love to spend time with a family and I love that gifts make the kids so happy.

But I think that sometimes there's a disconnect between them wanting the gift so bad and not enjoying like that we're all together, we get to spend this time off together and make these special memories and stuff because they're so focused on the gifts. And so I really the last couple years I've been like I hate these gift giving holidays.

I just do so meh. Uh, it's fine.

Can totally see that kids definitely do focus in on that gifts. But when I think about to when I was a kid which obviously we did the same thing. You know, I don't remember my gifts. You Know, I remember being at Christmas with my m. Family and the train around the tree.

Yeah.

All of us gathering on the living room floor and, like, making cakes together and.

Ah, that's what I remember. Yeah.

So even though I was focused as.

A kid on that when. When you took your bigger. Bigger takeaway. Um. All right, we're on to page two. I. I'm indifferent about this question. The last one. On this one, there's some of these that I'm like, hm, nah. What from your childhoods have you recycled into motherhood?

Yeah. So when you. After you have this little baby and you just. Yeah. You don't know what to do.

Yeah. You don't. I do want to say that they're. I think that dads also have a little bit of a struggle. Like, they don't know how to bond with this kid. They feel kind of left out of the bonding a lot of the time. Like, I know that Cody struggled a bit with, like, Logan in particular, because he was like, I can't.

It's not like I can feed her because I was exclusively breastfeeding her and I couldn't pump because she was just feeding so much. Like, there was just. There was no way. Um, and he worked that crazy shift, so he was just like, I feel like I can't bond with her.

And

connection, too. Yeah.

That's probably something that's not talked about. Is the relationship between you and your husband or your partner is it goes non existent?

It can. Yeah. For sure. Yeah.

You get in the groove of things, and you have this little thing to take care of and, you know.

Right. Honestly, yeah, for sure. I mean, we had Logan in a really weird time of our lives, I feel like.

And in Covid, she was.

She was one year. Yeah. She turned one when Covid started, basically, like. Yeah. Um, and so that was hard. That was really hard. And Cody and I definitely went through a rough patch. I think most couples do when you have a new baby. Like, you just. Yeah. I mean, even with the twins, we went through a rough patch.

Um, and it just. I feel like it just now, basically, and they're two now, has started kind of more leveling out, and we're finding balance again. Um, not to say that, like, you know, Cody and I don't love each other in those moments. It's just that that love takes a backseat, you know?

I totally, totally get it. I think even when they get older and busier, that happens too, because then you're, like, just on the go all the time, Something going on.

Right.

Pick up schedules, dinner, get things ready for the next day, go to bed.

Right. It becomes where you're just kind of like, you're doing the routine, you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, but you're not taking a moment to just be, like. And be together or. Yeah. Yeah. Cody actually went out of his way to set up, like, monthly dates for us and stuff, and, like, little outings a week and stuff like that.

So that was kind of sweet. That was, like, really nice way for us to, like, reconnect again after the twins. So that was a good thing on our part. And something that he communicated, like, wanting, needing. Because I definitely wasn't like, let's go out on dates or anything, because I'm kind of like.

Right. But it has been really nice when we've gotten to do it. Uh, our last one got canceled due to sickness. I mean, honestly, work for sick all the freaking time, so.

Yeah. All right, what's the next one on there?

Thoughts on home birth? I never a need or want of.

Mine, so I don't really have any thoughts about it.

Yeah. You know, I briefly looked into it with Logan, not the twins, because I wasn't even, like, an option with the twins. Um, but I was just so scared of, like. I mean, you know, I had a lot of pregnancy fears, like, giving birth fears. Um, so I looked into it, and I was like, I just.

I just don't think I can. I think I need to be in a hospital, like.

Yeah. That never I don't feel like that ever even crossed my mind. Something that I was interested in and which is kind of funny because I lean way crunchy.

I know.

And nope. No. But then I also, I mean for maybe, you know, I'm pretty intuitive with my body and Delilah was a C section. And then I did try to do a V back with Jameson and it was a failed be back because both my kids don't want to come out straight.

Yeah.

They wanted to go all. Every different direction.

Yeah.

Out. So maybe it just wasn't.

You just knew for me. Yeah.

Never. So it never was. Um, my thoughts for other. Other people, I mean, I think that they're incredibly strong for doing it. Doing that.

Right.

I think it's beautiful. They all describe it as like the best thing. I totally could see that.

Okay, so my two thoughts on it. Obviously, I don't think even if I have another kid, I don't even think that's something I would put on the table for myself because I have so many fears around birth. Um, but I do think it's beautiful and an amazing experience. I'm sure because like, you get to do that in your home, in your comfort space.

Um, I do think though that it would make me never want to sell my house.

Oh. Like memories wise.

Right?

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You hear people talking about how all the memories that they made in their homes and I'm sure now I'm like.

Thinking back and I'm like, yeah, yeah.

I'm sure is a huge thing that.

People like you would have such a connection to your house with that I feel like too. Um, and I already struggled with selling our, uh, our last house because that is where Logan had like all her firsts. Yeah. Yeah. So that was hard for us. And so I can't even imagine if I gave birth in that house.

Yeah. I would have been like, we can never leave.

Yeah.

I don't care if it's too small of a house. Okay. Uh, thoughts on homeschool?

I don't have the patience for that at all. But with the way things have been the last couple years and the schools, I'll say a parent in Texas, uh, we made the shift to his charter.

School, which has been much better than.

School our neighborhood one. But uh, I want to always say that I don't have the patience it. But I feel one day it may come back to the table as a real.

Mhm. There's so many options now with homeschool too, where it's not necessarily you having to teach, but just encourage them to be proactive on doing what they're supposed to be doing. I love homeschool.

Into sending Logan to school.

Yes, we did. I got talked into it. She. She does love school and I think it's great that she loves it and she loves her teacher and she gets a lot more kid exposure this way because I am not the most social of people. I would take her to the park and stuff like that, but, you know, like, I don't socialize with the mother.

So then like Logan's meeting these people one time, basically never making those, like, deeper connections. Um, but I will say that I, I really love homeschool. I think that it's so nice you can tailor it to your kids needs. Like, Logan is a very active person and she kind of learns a lot, like how your brother does and really is hands on and needs it like visual.

Um, and that was something I could provide to her because I did do homeschooling for the year before I sent her to charter school. So technically she was preschool, but I was doing like a hybrid of preschool, kindergarten, um, classes with her. And it was so nice because it was like we spent an hour a day.

She would learn so much and she felt really close with me because it was like bonding time for her where it was dedicated time. Um, and she just grew to love learning even more. And I was. I just love homeschool. I just love it. And I, I ended up sending her to charter because I have the twins and they also are very busy, just like Logan.

So I kind of keep in that structure. Yeah, I just kind of felt like I was maybe doing them all a disservice a little bit if I couldn't keep up with that once the twins got older and started interfering more. Or you.

I think you were looking forward to having the time with just the twins too. Like you got. Have just that time with Logan.

Yes. There's two of them.

So it will never be like it was when you just have one baby.

Yeah. Oh, my God, that time with them. No, it will never be like how when I have one baby that was, like, so peaceful and bonding. I swear. I have a poop story for Alicia, like, every other day lately.

It's been.

Yeah, it's great. It's great. It's, uh, great. And, like, climbing story. I just come. I just have daily wild stories from the twins. Yeah. Yeah. They were actually kind of angels today, though. Let me think about it. I know. Well, Cody's the one with him right now. Oh, that's true.

That's true. Um,

okay, I'm gonna say this exactly how it was sent to us. Are you. I know. Wait, do we have to rate it explicit if we say that?

I don't know what counts as explicit.

I don't. Fine. I won't say it exactly how it was worded. You know who you are. Breastfeeding outfit recommendations. Alicia. Do you have any for that? Because it knows. Been a while since I've been breastfeeding that long either.

So stretchy. Stretchy things.

Right. So I didn't really buy any special shirts, tank tops, anything like that. I did, however, buy special bras from Mom. Cozy is the brand. They were so nice. I love that brand. They have, like. They actually expanded their brand, and now they have, like, uh, what, uh, pumps.

They have strollers, gear. They have, like, clothes now. Like, they have tons of stuff now. Um, but their bras, their nursing bras were really nice. Uh, and I really enjoyed those with both my kids. Uh, all three of my kids. I'm like, lumped the twins together there. Uh, but what I do recommend is doing we're in Texas.

So the benefit of being in Texas is there's a thing as layers. And since it's cooling down, do a tank top and like, a cardigan or something like that where you can kind of COVID up a little bit if you want to. Or not. Yeah. Um, and the tank top can lift, and you can even do two tank tops if you want to, which is a tip I learned from another breastfeeding mom.

Um, and then you have one low, one high. So then it's just like how the breastfeeding ones are, basically.

Yeah. So you don't have to buy specific clothes. Then your clothes last longer.

Yes.

Work around it. Which just have to wear layers. Which in Texas in the summer would not be as ideal.

Right.

Yeah. I don't know. Layering.

Right. So the layering aspect. Um, also I did with, like, Logan, because she's the one I breastfed. Really. Um, I would. In the carrier. I could feed her too. Um, and you're covered by the carrier. Um, so that was convenient when we were like in outings and she was like, I need to eat, basically.

Then I could just feed her while we were walking around. Yeah. Um, so that's kind of my two cents there. Yeah, Yeah, I, I always like to avoid buying the specialty items like that, cuz they, you retire them so quickly and they're so expensive. Okay, let's see. Do you want to start doing a couple here?

We're just passing this list back and forth. Here's a pen.

Okay. How. This one is kind of just for you. How do you handle. Well, actually, I have been here a lot of instances where this has happened. Um, how do you handle all the attention your twins get in public? I'm changing this question. Oh, I thought, I thought it said something else.

But how do you handle all the attention that your twins get in public?

No, you're just completely changing the question. I can answer both questions. How about that? Uh, honestly, I don't handle it well.

Okay. But people are crazy about twins in public.

They're not. So about twins, that's literally nobody.

If you don't have twins, you would never know. You would never know how crazy people are about twins in public.

So I kind of already knew because my mom is an identical twin and if her and my aunt went out anywhere with me, um, and especially if they were wearing anything similar clothing wise, people would stare at them. Just stare at them and be like, ah, uh, twins. And I'm like, dude, you can see the third twins.

Yeah. And, um, so I kind of got a taste of that growing up with my mom and my aunt. And then I have identical twins myself. And, uh, I made the mistake, actually. Okay, let me start this off with. Since the moment they came out of the womb, people have been obsessed with them.

But once they kind of hit toddlerhood, that obsession has kind of like, people have been less like all over me about them. Still interested, but not as like, overwhelming to me. Um, but the other day I went to Costco and I happened to dress them in twin outfits, which I never do, like ever almost, because I just, I just don't.

I just believe that they deserve their own outfits. They're two different people, blah, blah, blah. But occasionally they get matching outfits. And this one was a one off experience. Matching bluey dresses. So cute. I go to Costco with your mom, um, and I couldn't Walk one foot without being, like, tons of people coming up to me.

Oh, those are twins. Oh, they're so cute. Where are they identical? And I was like, well, they look identical. I just. I have to bite my tongue a lot, honestly, because I don't handle it super great because I'm not the most social of people. Um, so it can overwhelm me really easily.

And I was kind of to the point where I was like, I just need to leave. Like, I was gonna just ditch my grocery shopping cart and leave because it was just that overwhelming at Costco the other day. And, uh, But I do have to bite my tongue of the sassy remarks I could possibly make that I have in the back of my mind.

Okay, now for the actual question, because I've been a little unhinged there.

Yeah. You just wanted to hear the Costco story again. Yeah.

How do you handle all the attention the twins get and balancing that with your older daughter getting to feel special and loved?

You know, I think that that's something that all parents who have a younger, older dynamic going on, especially if there's, like, a bigger gap have, um, to figure out how to balance. That was something that was really important to me. Um, was that none of them felt like the favorite, if you know what I mean.

Like, I don't want my kids to feel like there's a favorite.

But, yes, I get it.

Yeah. Yeah. So I try really hard to be. Not equal, necessary, because they're necessarily because they're different ages, but, like, equally convey how much I love and appreciate them in a way that makes sense to them. So a good way for Logan in particular is she really likes to be involved.

Yeah.

Uh, so having her be involved in a non parenting way with her sisters makes her feel equally involved, equally loved, and part of it not excluded and, like, only they are getting attention. She feels like she's part of the attention. That's kind of. That's kind of how I handle it.

Yeah. Um, all right, we're gonna buzz through something. This is gonna be a long episode. So this one's actually kind of funny. Have you carve out me time podcast?

Yeah. Yeah.

We decided we needed a hobby. That's why we're doing this podcast.

Yeah.

Because every Wednesday we hole, uh, up in my home office and we record this podcast. No kids bother us.

Yeah.

For the most part.

And it's fun.

Yeah.

We drink some drinks. Sometimes we have snacks. Um, we laugh a lot.

We're just laughing all the time.

Yeah.

Uh, but no, we also. We've Been trying to get back in the habit of doing like mom's night.

Out or like Lady M. I sent you a girls night out idea the other day. I really want to do that one.

We go on shopping, things like I don't know, maybe every other month or.

So we'll do like a girls day and shopping. Yeah. Uh, that's not necessarily always without the kids. Not always but always.

Do I listen to that age or she kind of.

Yeah.

But there's definitely times where I'm like no.

Yeah. You're like I need a break.

Uh so yeah.

No we try to. We've gotten better about it for sure.

Yeah.

And then like a good way for me personally how I do me time like like just like as like a. Ah. What's the words? I'm like self care I guess. Yeah. For like just when I just need it is like I love baths and I love reading. So either I will read or I'll take a bath or I'll do both.

Um, and my husband Cody, he keeps the girls out and I just get that time to myself and usually it's after dinner before bedtime is when I do that and it's just like a. A wind down so I can handle doing bedtime.

I've always been really huge on self care for moms because.

Mhm.

Like we talked about before you lose yourself.

Yeah.

Small wins, small things daily are huge. So when I started on this whole like self care journey and what that could look like with what I have available. Mine is a shower every day. I'm a shower everyday person. If I don't shower I'm a freaking monster. Like our pillow.

Like our monster pillow. Yeah.

I just can't. Can't function. I have to shower every day.

She's not kidding.

My coffee. And so that's like why it's really hard for me to give up coffee and like switch to tea even because it's just not my coffee and that those are my two things every day that are like my piece.

Yeah. So I also have like that's something in the morning. Like I just need my drink and it doesn't have to necessarily be coffee for me. It just needs to be something intentional, not just water. Um, cuz sometimes I'll do like a chai or I'll do or I'll buy myself a drink.

Um, but if I like skip it then I'm like why do I just feel out of sorts? Like you know, like you just don't feel like you got what you needed.

Right?

Yeah.

So I try, always try to keep mine really, really really simple. Because your self care doesn't have to cost money.

And I think that. And it doesn't have to take up a lot of, a lot of time necessarily either.

It could be a moment just kind of recenter. Um, and just give yourself that few moments. Um, not making it over complicated.

Mhm.

We have a bunch more questions in this parenting and tips thing but I feel like we've kind of touched on a lot of them. So by making the executive decision to move on to next category.

Okay.

Um.

Our side stories touched most of those.

I think so I think well enough you can look back through them.

Okay. I show you the ones you're going to bracket them.

I'm skipping, um, how much this one is in the family. Family and relationships. Maybe traditions. Uh, how much do you spend per kid? Um, for Christmas.

Okay. Do you want to start? You want me to start? Cuz I have feelings on this.

I don't.

I usually just. I do. They have to have like equal amount of gifts and usually about the same price per gift. Like I try to balance it. Sometimes it's $10 off per item or something. But it's not like one kid got 50 and one got 200. It's never that far for birthdays though.

Like if we're going to a birthday party, which I know this is not what the question asked but this is more where I have like a limit. If it's a birthday party and it's a friend from school or something, I usually do about 20 cap. And then for like family kids it's usually like 40, 50 depending on what it is.

If they haven't need or something that's way cool. But usually it's about that, about that much. Um, and for Christmas I usually keep that too for each kid. Because when your family has three kids.

Get out of here.

Uh, no, I, there's no really cow. Even though there was something really cool and I was like oh, like Logan needed this. I just get it.

Um, but right. So I don't, I don't shop with um, I don't shop with money in mind. Let me just put it that way. I shop with value to the person in mind. So for like my girls, I, they might not get the same amount of gifts, but they'll get the same amount of joy and like the same amount of like they're going to be like loving what they got, not, not missing it.

Yeah, I'm sure. Like, like between Jameson and Delilah, they're like, oh, I got more gifts than you. You know what I mean? Because that's totally seasons of life.

So it's different mentalities.

Right, right. And I think even when, which obviously I'll see, I guess. But saying this now, I think even when my girls get older, I will just be reiterating that, you know, when people buy you gifts, it's not, they're not thinking of how many items they can get you, they're thinking of what you're going to love.

So if you love the item, then it's worth a hundred times the gift, you know. And so I think it's important to just kind of teach your kids the value of why somebody's gifting you something, even if they don't necessarily like it. The, the thought is like you mattered enough for them to go out of their way to go pick a gift for you and make, try and make something that you liked, blah, blah, you know, the whole shebang.

Um, but I definitely, I don't believe in budgets because I'm going to buy what I'm gonna buy. Basically. If uh, my heart's like, Delilah needs this. This is the best thing ever. Yeah, then I'll get it.

We're on the same page. Yeah. I haven't had the birthday gift thing really yet because yeah, I, I do.

Try to somewhat budget. I honestly like, my thoughts on gift giving holidays are very b. Um, so I struggle with it because I love to spend time with a family and I, I love that gifts make the kids so happy. But I think that sometimes there's a disconnect between them wanting the gift so bad and not enjoying like that we're all together, we get to spend this time off together.

Mhm. Because they're so focused on, so focused on the gifts. Yeah.

Really. The last couple years I've been like, I hate these gift giving holidays.

I just do.

So.

Yeah, yeah, I can totally see that. Kids definitely do focus in on their gifts. But when I think back to when I was a kid, which obviously we did the same thing as kids, you know, I don't remember my gifts you know, I remember being at Christmas with my family and the train around the tree and all of us gathering on the living room floor and, like, making cakes together and stuff.

That's what I remember. So even though I was focused as a kid on that, what I'm remembering is the moment.

Bigger takeaway?

Yeah.

All right, we're on to page two. I. I indifferent about this question. There's some of these that I'm like,

what, from your childhood have you recycled into motherhood?

answer.

You have an answer?

Yeah.

Do

answer.

You have an answer?

Yeah.

Do

Okay, well, I'm just gonna put this out there. I. My mom is like, she's my role model for motherhood.

Yeah.

Ah.

She's my role model for motherhood. She is who I strive to be when I make a choice or decision as a mom. I think about, how would my mom have responded?

Yeah.

Situation as, uh, when I was a kid, you know? Um, she's. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty high praise. I feel like, as a mom, like, I would hope my girlfriend would be.

Like, if they ever decided to be.

Moms, um, that they want to be their model for motherhood is me. Um, but my mom is. Because I feel like she did her absolute best by me. I mean, with the tools she had and the support she had. I think she did everything in her power to do what was right for.

Me in the moment.

And I appreciate.

Yeah, I think you're doing a great job. You. You always, like, refer back to your mom and, like, decisions she made or things that she did and, like, wow, that's pretty. Pretty neat. Um. All right, don't cry, Alex. Um, mother makes you emotional.

I just want to put that out there.

Yeah, it definitely does. Okay, so I'll let you do this second page.

Okay.

Wait, the second page where. That is the second page.

Have either of you done therapy? You both seem really stable.

Okay, so this is. I. I'm.

This came from a therapist.

This came from a therapist. And I just think it's hilarious. And. And I, uh. Actually, I work with her, and she has told me that I am a very therape. A human. And so I just think that that is hilarious sometimes because I don't feel like. And I told her this.

I'm like, I don't, I don't feel like anybody in my family would say, say that about me, but I am, ah, I feel like I'm really understanding.

I can see that. Because I think that you take. Listen to people. You take it out there and like, you hear it without judgment. Now you might have your own thoughts on it.

Oh, yeah.

You hear it without judging them.

Yeah.

No, I definitely feel like that's true. All that to say, um, I have never done therapy. I feel like I've been able to re, like handle myself in situations that have happened in life really well. And I actually pride myself on that. That I haven't neat. Felt like I needed the extra tools from somebody else to help me through things that have happened.

And I don't feel like I'm that messed up. So

now this therapist, uh, who submitted this question just shouldn't hold against me.

Because she's not saying she believe in therapy.

Oh, absolutely.

She doesn't need the tools.

Yeah.

No. I have seen how much therapy absolutely works. They are absolute angels, or they can be, and they can change lives and families. And I have, I have all the great things to say about therapists and the tools that they provide to people.

Right. Yeah. And I think that even if you don't necessarily need the tools now, sometimes going to therapy before you have problems can be really helpful too.

I think that's hard to do when you don't need it. You know, I agree because I, I've.

Talked to K about that before. I just. I don't need it right now. It's like if. Then you just have the tools.

Right.

I talked about us doing it as like a couple just so that we have the tools for better communication.

Right.

Because obviously we had our kids and then it was our relationship to the backseat and how those tools could have been helpful in those moments. But we. Have them because we didn't pre arm ourselves with them.

Yeah.

But like you said, it's hard to be in that mindset. Like I should prepare myself for an issue down the road.

Right. Um, I'm gonna let you elaborate more, but this is, this is also a struggle for me because I'm an enneagram8 and they. We don't like to be vulnerable. So that's a big hindrance in the fact of my enneagram. Not like what you don't like. She knows more about Enneagram than you do.

Yeah.

Uh, off the top of my head, I don't know. But I know you are like you're the rule follower. Like you liked things to be like justice and like it, you know, is what it is. Yeah.

Yeah. So, um, I have done therapy when I was a kid. Uh, and I do think it was helpful for me in those moments when I needed them. And it gave me tools as an adult that I didn't have when I was a kid that had been helpful for me to not need it as an adult.

I have like a lot of anxiety around different things. Um, and that can definitely spiral out of control sometimes as it can with anybody.

Yeah.

Um, so having those tools like the breathing exercises and focusing in on something like directly happening now, um, in the senses and stuff like that and grounding yourself was really helpful for me as a ah, teenager because teenagers are emotional beings. Uh, and then. But also as an adult going through emotional things, you know, having kids and relationships up and downs and um, I think that having those tools really helpful for me.

Mhm.

In hindsight.

Yeah. All right. We knocked that one out. Feel like we were like having to take a test or something. Being tested.

Okay, this one's a fine line. What do we use on our hair?

So this. I. I had a follow up voice message after this one that was just cracking me up. Yeah, she, she was just crying, cracking me up. But um, and it's even more funny because I, I literally put nothing in my hair and I sometimes half blow dry it.

And how many polos have I sent you? And like I did share the one story of that. And I literally don't care about my hair. I just don't. I like, I'll try to get the flyaways down with some. I um, have some organic hairspray that's like John Masters organic hairspray.

Yeah.

Sometimes you feel fancy and curl it when it's longer.

Yeah.

Because then it is, it is a lot longer. I have not curled it again in A very long time. Um,

so nothing. I use nothing. I've never been one to put heat protectant on my hair either. So that's probably why it looks always so fried. But I just don't care.

I do, um, I don't do anything with my hair either. And I used to do my hair pretty often, um, from like high school all the way until probably a little after I had Logan basically. Uh, but I stopped. And why is because postpartum from Logan I had a lot of hair loss and like receding hairline and stuff.

And I feel like a lot of that was like I wasn't treating my hair well enough and tight ponytails.

Hm.

Hairline and stuff. So I decided to basically do no.

Heat on my hair.

So like, I don't even really blow dry my hair. I air dry it. It's very rare that I blow dry my hair. Um, I don't really style my hair. Um, I do have a spray gel that I'll use in my hair for like flyaways and stuff. Stuff. Um, and I also have a.

What's it called? It's like a texturizing spray.

Oh, yeah. Give your hair some body a little.

My hair is kind of flat. Um, so sometimes I'll do that like if we're going out somewhere, which is not very often. Uh, but that's basically all I do. Like, I brush my hair with a wide tooth comb so I don't break it. Break my hair, not the brush.

You have a way crazier hair regimen than I do.

I. And I use, uh, no tear or no break, no tangle. I don't know what they're called.

Hair.

Because they like, don't rip your hair, pull your hair. And that has created way less breakage in my hair than ever before.

That's probably my problem.

Yeah. Because I get. I used to have like terrible baby hairs like in the front. And it's from ponytails basically.

Really? Yeah, I don't really. I only put my hair up at night

to put it up. Yeah, well, like I said, I. Yeah, I don't care. So until maybe I start losing it, maybe I'll do something different.

But obviously postpartum hair loss is a normal thing. Yeah, I was like, so, like it took so long for it to come back that I was just like, I.

Need to do something different.

And I had no hair loss after the twins. And that was with me keeping with.

Like no blow drying, very little product.

Like almost no product. Wide tooth comb brushing and um, the, the, the rubber bands, the cord Corded rubber band thing.

Mhm.

Uh, we both use kind of a cleaner shampoo though.

Shampoo and conditioners. It's probably also good for our hair, I guess. Yeah. All right. Not much.

Uh, are we religious?

Not at all.

Okay. Actually, you know, we had this conversation recently with a friend about religion.

Yep. I wiped it from my brain. Oh yeah. Uh, yeah, no, I'm not, I'm not religious in any way. Um, but I do believe in spirits, I guess is what we would call that. Yeah, yeah, I think. Yeah, we did have this conversation. Yeah. I think that there's like a guiding.

Guiding. Maybe not guiding spirits. There's spirits that will hang out and things. Yeah. It's not usually a conversation that I really talk about in general, so. Yeah, no, I know. Okay. I believe things happen for a reason, which is also conflicting sometimes and people argue about that. But I just.

Something my husband also says.

Yeah, yeah, how weird.

And he's also like, I don't believe in anything. But then he'll say, but things happen for a reason.

Yeah. Implies that something is predetermined. Yeah. Well, and that's where I feel like sometimes like, well, there's guided spirits or not. But I'm like, well, I just think that they're there. Like maybe they maybe. I don't know, maybe they help, maybe they don't.

Maybe they just watch.

I don't know. Maybe they do. I'm sure there is some out there that are funny like that. Um, no. Since I was really little, I, I really. As kids you're way more open to that stuff. And so I've always. Forever I've had been more in touch with uh, that kind of stuff.

And so yeah, yeah, I wouldn't mark myself as religious.

I do believe that there's something bigger than us. Um, I do not identify with any religion necessarily. I did go to Catholic church as a kid a little bit. Um, and you know, just general like exposure to stuff like that. But I never really identified with a specific religion.

I always kind of felt like, you know, there's something bigger than us, but they're not necessarily going to be putting.

All these rules on us, you know.

Uh, as long as, you know, you're being the person.

Right.

Attention. You're not hurting people because you want to. Just for any reason. Just.

Mhm.

Because of how they are or whatever. Uh, then you're doing what you should be. What you should be doing.

Yeah, that's what we're supposed to be doing. Yeah, I definitely, definitely agree with that.

Yeah. So moving on. From that fun question. Uh, most unpopular opinion. So I saw this one earlier and I was like, I don't know.

We. I have always struggled with this question. They'll do these as like icebreakers. And I'm like,

I hope the bug's back.

I got one. I don't like audiobooks. Like, I don't. I also don't.

Huh. Say that again. She's gonna say she doesn't like podcasts, but she does now because we're doing one and she had to do research.

I do have a couple podcasts that I listen to every so often. I definitely, like, I can only do it for so long and I listen to them on like two times.

I just remembered what mine was.

Yeah.

Mhm.

Is it more controversial than my. Mhm. Audiobooks? I gotta read everything.

I heavily dislike Taylor Swift.

Oh, she did it, guys.

I can't. I can't with her at all. That's a, uh, no for me. Ever since she came out so many years ago in this country, I hated her voice. Yes. Her songs are catchy.

They are really catchy.

I don't like it.

Don't like them.

No.

Okay, let's preface this with a little bit of back information here.

Are not like crazy music culture. Yeah. No.

Aren't familiar.

Hey, I am way more now like.

TV shows, movies, music.

I have to, I have to keep up with Delilah. I have to be like. I mean, even though she'll make fun of me, that, uh, whatever I think is cool is not relevant, but.

Well, that's because you're making up for all the stuff you missed as a kid.

Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah. Uh, so they both are very kind of like pop culture dumb a little bit. So, like, I'll say something. It'll just go right over.

Oh, yeah. And Jesse.

Yo.

Yeah, well, we were very sheltered as kids. Like, extremely sheltered. Like, a lot.

Yeah. So they will be saying something like, me and Jesse, Alicia's husband, because we both are kind of like pop culture.

Oh, yeah. Uh, everything. M, Movies, music, just everything.

Yeah. So we'll be talking about something and we'll, like, reference something and we'll both be like, laughing.

Yeah. Totally over my head. Everyone else, what are you talking about? Yeah. And we're like, okay, guys, it's a little embarrassing sometimes.

Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. Cool.

So it's always funny when that happens because I know that.

Yeah.

When I see it in the wild happen to you or Cody, I'm always.

Like, how are you going to handle that one?

Just nod your head.

Oh, okay. All right. Moving on.

Dream vacation.

Okay, well, I'm just gonna put this out. There is I. My mom is like, she's my role model for. For motherhood. Like, she's my role model for motherhood. She is who I strive to be when I make a choice or decision as a mom. I think about how would my mom have responded in this situation, as when I was a kid, you know?

Um, she's. She. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty high praise. I feel like, as a mom, like, I would hope my. My girls would be, like, if they ever decide to become moms, um, that they want to be their model for motherhood is me. Um, but my mom is. Because I feel like she did her absolute best by me.

I mean, with the tools she had and the support she had, I think she did everything in her power to do what was right for me in the moment, and I appreciate her for that. So that's what I hope to do for my girls.

Yeah, I think you're doing a great job.

You.

You always, like, refer back to your mom and, like, decisions she made or things that she did and, like, wow, uh, that's pretty. Pretty neat.

Yeah. I'm going to cry. Alex, uh, motherhood makes you emotional. I just want to put that out there.

Yeah, it definitely does. Um, okay, so I'll let you do this second page.

Okay. Wait, the second page. Do we. Oh, okay. We flipped it already. Have either of you done therapy? You both seem really stable.

Okay, so this is. I. I'm.

This came from a therapist.

This came from a therapist, and I just think it's hilarious. And. And, uh, I actually, I work with her, and she has told me that I'm a very therapeutic human. And so I just think that that is hilarious sometimes because I don't feel like. And I told her this.

I'm like, I don't. I don't feel like anybody in my family would say that about me.

But no, I can understand. I can see that. Because I think that you take. Listen to people. You take in what they're saying, and, like, you hear it without judgment. Now, you might have your own thoughts on it, but you hear it without judging them necessarily.

Feel like that's true. All that to say, um, I have never done therapy. I feel like I've been able to, like, handle myself in situations that have happened in life really well, and I actually pride myself on that, that I haven't felt like I needed the extra tools from somebody else to help me through things that have happened.

I don't feel like I'm that messed up. So.

Girl, you messed up. No, I'm just kidding.

Now, this therapist submitted this question. Just shouldn't hold that against me.

Right? Right. Because she's not saying she doesn't believe in therapy. She just is saying she doesn't need the tools herself. Right. As a rado, yeah, therapy absolutely works.

They are absolute angels, or they can.

Be and change lives and families.

And I, um, have. I have all the great things to say about therapists and the tools that they provide to people.

Right? Yeah. And, um, I think that even if you don't necessarily need the tools now, sometimes going to therapy before you have problems can be really helpful too.

I think that's hard to do when you don't need it.

Right. I agree, because I've. I've talked to Cody about that before, and he was like, I just. I don't need it right now. I was like, yeah, but, uh, then you just have the tools, like, because I've talked about us doing it as, like, a couple just so that we have the tools for better communication down the road, like.

Because obviously, like, we had our kids, and then it was like our relationship took a backseat. And having those tools could have been helpful in those moments, but we. We didn't have them because we didn't pre arm ourselves with them. But like you said, it's hard to be in that mindset.

Like, I should prepare myself for an issue down the road. Right. Yeah.

Um, I'm gonna let you elaborate more, but this is, this is also a struggle for me because I'm an enneagram8 and they. We don't like to be vulnerable.

Mhm.

So that's a big hindrance in the fact.

What's my enneagram? Not like. Yeah, she knows more about my stuff than I do. Yeah.

Off the top of my head, I don't.

You know? No. Okay. I know.

You were like, you're the rule follower.

Yeah. Things to be like, just right. Yeah.

Ah.

I'm a type one. Yeah. So, um, I have done therapy when I was a kid. Um, and I do think it was helpful for me in those moments when I needed them. And it gave me tools as an adult that I. I didn't have when I was a kid that had been helpful for me to not need it as an adult.

I, um, have like a lot of anxiety around different things. M. And that can definitely spiral out of control sometimes as it can with anybody. Um, so having those tools like the breathing exercises and focusing in on something like directly happening now, um, in the senses and stuff like that and grounding yourself was really helpful for me as a teenager because teenagers are emotional beings.

Um, and then. But also as an adult going through emotional things, you know, having kids and like relationships up and downs and um, I think that having those tools was really helpful for me in hindsight. Yeah.

All right. We're knocked that one out.

Yeah.

We were like that having to take a test.

All right. I think I agree that felt tested. I was getting nervous. Yeah. Okay. This one's a fun one. What do we use on our hair?

So this. I. I had a follow up voice message after this one.

Oh, you did?

Uh, yeah, she. She was just cracking me up. But, uh. And it's even more funny because I. I literally put nothing in my hair and I sometimes have blow dry it. And how many polos have I sent you?

And you shared that one in stories.

I literally don't care about my hair. I just don't. I like. I'll try to get the flyaways down with some. I have some organic hairspray, like John Masters organic hairspray.

Yeah. Sometimes you feel fancy and curl it when it's longer. Yeah, it's pretty long right now.

It is a lot longer. I have not Curled it again in a very long time.

Yeah, I actually was thinking about chopping my hair again.

Nothing. I use nothing. I've never been one to put heat protected on my hair either, so that's probably why it looks always so fried.

But, yeah, you have a lot, like, thinner, lighter hair. Yeah. Lightweight hair. Um, I don't do anything with my hair either. And I used to do my hair pretty often, um, for. From, like, high school all the way until probably a little after I had Logan, basically. Um, but I stopped.

And why is because postpartum from Logan, I had a lot of hair loss and, like, receding hairline and stuff. And I feel like a lot of that was, like, I wasn't treating my hair well enough. And I was putting in tight ponytails, which caused the receding hairline and stuff.

So I decided to basically do no heat on my hair, like, ever. So, like, I don't even really blow dry my hair. I air dry it. It's very rare that I blow dry my hair. Um, I don't really style my hair. Um, I do have a spray gel that I'll use in my hair for, like, flyaways and stuff.

Um, and I also have a. What's it called? It's like a texturizing spray. And it's just to, like, give your hair some body a little bit. Because I hate my hair's kind of flat. Flat. Um, so sometimes I'll do that, like if we're going out somewhere, which so not very often.

Um, but that's basically all I do. Like, I brush my hair with a wide tooth comb so I don't break it. Break my hair. Not the brush.

You have a way crazier hair regimen than I do.

I. And I use, um, no tear or no break, no tangle. I don't know what they're called hair ties, because they, like, don't rip your hair or pull your hair. And that has created way less breakage in my hair than ever before. Yeah. Because I get. I used to have, like, terrible baby hairs, like, all up in the front.

And it's from ponytails, basically. Yeah.

Yeah. So sleeping with your hair up is really bad, too. So I've been trying to train myself to not do that. And yeah, that's really hard, though, because your hair, like, gets on you.

I don't care.

Yeah. Yeah. You're like, I don't care.

Maybe I start losing it. Maybe I'll do something.

Yeah. I mean, obviously postpartum hair loss is a normal thing, but I was like, so, like, it Took so long for it to come back that I was just like, I need to do better. And I had no hair loss after the twins. And that was with me keeping with like no blow drying, very little product, like almost no product.

Wide tooth comb brushing and um, the, the, the rubber bands, the cord, corded rubber band things. Um, we both use kind of a cleaner shampoo though. Shampoo and conditioners. So that's probably also good for our hair, I guess. Yeah, that's what we do. Not much. Uh, are we religious?

Okay. Actually, you know, we had this conversation recently with a friend about religion. Alicia is spiritual.

Wiped it from my brain.

We. It was a girls night.

Oh yeah, yeah, no, I'm not, I'm not religious in any way.

No.

But I do believe in spirits, I guess.

Yeah. Like you're spiritual. Yeah.

Yeah, I think. Yeah. We did have this conversation.

Mhm. It's coming back to you now.

Out.

They're just chilling.

Yeah. Usually conversation I really talk about.

Yeah.

In general.

So we're getting into it with this podcast.

I believe things happen for a reason, which is also conflicting sometimes. And people argue about that.

But yes, that is something. My husband also says, lo and behold, their brother and sister. Uh, and he's also like, I don't believe in anything. But then he'll say, but things happen for a reason, which implies that something is right. Something is. Yeah, well, and that's where I feel.

Like sometimes like, well, there's guided spirits or not. But I'm like, well, I just think that they're there. Like maybe they, maybe.

I mean, maybe they. Yeah, maybe they don't. Maybe they just watch and laugh. Maybe they do. I'm sure there are some.

Uh, yeah, no, since I was really little, I, I really. As kids, you're way more open to that stuff. And so I've always, forever I've had been more in touch with, uh, that kind of stuff. And so.

Yeah, yeah, I um, wouldn't mark myself as religious. I do believe that there's something bigger than us. Um, I do not identify with any religion necessarily. I did go to Catholic church as a kid a little bit. Um, and you know, just general like exposure to stuff like that.

But I never really identified with a specific religion. I always kind of felt like, you know, there's something bigger than us, but they're not necessarily going to be putting all these rules on us. You know, um, as long as, you know you're being a good person with intention, you're not hurting people because you want to just for any reason.

Just because of how they are or whatever. Then you're doing what. What you should be doing. Like, what? That's what we're supposed to be doing on the earth. Yeah. So moving on from that, fun question. Uh, most unpopular opinion. So I saw this one earlier, and I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna say.

Oh, yeah. Like, yeah.

Oh, okay, I got one. I don't like audiobooks. Like, I don't. I also don't. Uh, yeah, I was like, yeah, I had to do research. Now I do have a couple podcasts I listen to every so often. I definitely, like, I can only do it for so long, and I listen to them on, um, like, two times speed.

I just remembered what mine was.

Yeah. Is it more controversial than my. No audiobooks. I gotta read everything.

I heavily dislike.

Oh, Taylor Swift. Oh, she did it. Guys, we should play Taylor Swift in our background music.

That's a no for me. Ever since she came out so many years ago in this country, I hated her voice. Yes. Her songs are catchy.

They are really catchy.

I don't like it.

I don't like them.

No.

Okay, let's preface this with a little bit of back information here. Alicia and her. Her brother, my husband, are not, like, crazy pop culture. Like, they don't. Aren't familiar with, like, shows in TV show. Like TV shows, movies, music, like, all that kind of stuff to keep up.

With Delilah, I have to be.

Yes. Okay.

Even though she'll make fun of me that whatever I think is cool is not relevant.

Well, that's because you're making up for all the stuff you missed as a kid, basically. Yeah. Uh, so they both are very kind of like, pop culture dumb a little bit. So, like, I'll say something. It'll just go right over their heads. And your mom, too. Yeah. Yeah.

We were very sheltered as kids. Like, extremely sheltered. Like, a lot.

Yeah. So they will be saying something like, me and Jesse, Alicia's husband, because we both are kind of like pop culture in the know, I guess.

Movies, music, just everything.

Yeah. So we'll be talking about something, and we'll, like, reference something, and we'll both be, like, laughing or getting what we're saying. And everyone else in the family is like, what? And we're like, okay, guys, it's a little embarrassing sometimes. Only when it's, like, something that, like, everybody knows.

Yeah.

Like. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. Cool.

Yeah. So it's always funny when that happens, because I know that. So when I see it in the wild happen to you or Cody, I'm always like, yeah, just nod your head.

All right, moving on.

Okay. Dream, uh, vacation.

I, I, I struggle with this one because there's a lot of cool places you could go, but I really have zero desire to leave the country.

Okay. What about in the country?

I'm making a real nice face at Alex.

I, um, don't even, I don't. I like to travel. I'd like to go and see the cool things. I don't know. I go in and out of, like, wanting to go to Hawaii because it seems like a long flight. It's over the water. I don't know the logistics.

Okay.

Yes. Yeah. Okay. Hawaii would be cool. The, the volcanoes in Hawaii would be cool. And you've been there, so. Yeah, that would be cool. Uh, the, the whiter sand beaches of Florida and the blue water. I would love to go there. Which we're within driving distance for us of being able to go there.

I know. I really want to go. That's, like, on my list too, because we didn't get to go when we went to Florida for Disney. Um, okay. So I definitely have a lot of places I want to go. But I will say that I kind of did one of my dream vacations last month, which was Disney World.

That's been on my bucket list since I was a kid.

I, that was a big one.

Thinking it was never going to be attainable because it's so expensive. And. Ah. And I did it. So now I'm kind of like, I can do It.

Yeah. What's next?

I've actually been joking with my mom that I'm scheduling our Disneyland trip now because the girls. I was like, maybe when the girls turn four, we can go to Disneyland.

And I was like, yeah, good time.

And so she's like, yeah, get another book. My mom's a big traveler, too, so.

I want to get this. Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah. I. If I liked cities, it probably would be cool to go to, like, New York City, but my dislike of cities would keep me from probably ever going there. Yeah. But going. Oh, you know, another one, actually, now you give me. You're getting me thinking. Uh, going all the way up to, like, the tippity top of Maine would be cool and probably really pretty.

Yeah.

All right, next one.

Okay. How did you meet your husband? I feel like you should go first because you have a longer relationship.

Okay. So my husband and I are high school sweethearts. We've been together since 2007. Coming up on 20 years, I'm going to start being able to say, like, we're coming up on 20 years together. Um, so we met in high school math class. Jesse is two years older than me, and he was in the freshman math class, and he sat in front of me, and we were the bunch of annoying freshmen.

He hated his life, literally. Like, if he could have, like, curled up in a ball and hidden a hole, he would have. Um, and I sat right behind him or what? I sat right behind him? Yeah. So I basically just told him that he was my boyfriend. So there's a song out right now, and I keep.

I don't remember the name, but it's like, um, it's that new song. Delilah's been singing it, and it has, like, been cracking me up lately.

You know, I struggle with this one because there's a lot of cool places you could go, but I really have zero desire to leave the country.

Okay, what about in the country, then?

I'm making a real nice face at Alex.

Yeah.

I don't even. I don't. I would like to travel. I like to go.

What about how, like, things. Hawaii, Florida. Ah.

In and out of, like, wanting to go to Hawaii because it seems like.

A long flight over the water. I don't know the logistic. Okay. So if you take out the logistics and we're just talking about the location, the.

The. The volcanoes in Hawaii would be cool.

They are really cool. The Big island is really cool.

That would be cool. Uh, the. The whiter sand beaches of Florida and the blue water. I would love to go there. Which we're within driving distance for us if being able to go there.

I know. I really want to go. That's, like, on my list, too, because we didn't get to go when we went to Florida for Disney. Um, okay. So I definitely have a lot of places I want to go, but I will say that I kind of did one of my dream vacations last month, um, which was Disney World.

That's been on my bucket list since I was a kid. I kind of was thinking it was never going to be attainable because it's so expensive, and I did it. So now I'm Kind of like, I can do anything.

What's next?

Yeah, yeah. I've actually been joking with my mom that I'm scheduling our Disneyland trip now because the girls. I was like, maybe when the girls turn four, we can go to Disneyland. And I was like, it'll be a good time. And so she's like, yeah, get it on the books.

My mom's a big traveler too, so I wonder where I get this from. Yeah, yeah. I.

If I liked cities, it probably would be cool to go to, like, New York City, But I didn't. Dislike of cities would keep me from probably.

Right. You'd get overwhelmed, I feel like. Yeah.

Um, but going. Oh, you know, another one actually, maybe give me. You're getting me thinking. Going all the way up to, like, the Tippity top of Maine.

Oh, would be cool. That would be cool.

And probably really pretty.

Yeah, I've heard that. It's really pretty over there.

All right, next one.

Okay. How did you meet your husbands? I feel like you should go first because you're the longer relationship. Okay.

So my husband and I are high school sweethearts. We've been together since 2007. Coming up on 20 years, I'm gonna start being able to say, like, we're coming up on 20 years together.

It's freaking wild.

So we met in high school math class. Jess. He is two years older than me, and he was in the freshman math class, and he sat in front of me, and we were the bunch of annoying freshmen. He hated his life, literally. Like, if he could have, like, curled up in a ball and hidden a hole, he would have.

Um. And I sat right behind him or what? I sat right behind him? Yeah. So I basically just told him that he was my boyfriend.

Oh.

So there's a song out right now. And I keep. I don't remember their name, but it's like, um. It's that new song. Delilah's been singing it, and it has, like, been cracking me up lately.

You look like you love me. Oh, with. Who's it? Ella Langley and Riley Green. So that song where she's like. Just goes up to him is like, you look like you want me, need me, like me, whatever. I've been like. I was like, listen to the words of the song.

Because we just talked about pop culture and music. I don't listen to the words in songs. So I was listening to these words the other day, and I was like, oh, this is a cute song. And then I told my mom, and she was like, yeah, because that's, like, your love story.

So now every time I listen to it, I'm just, like, cracking up. But now we need to be telling.

Jesse, like, hey, this is, like, one of our more current songs.

Yeah, I did. I told him the other day and he was like oh, I got to listen to it. But he didn't tell me if he listened to it. Which is funny cuz he's so into music. And then I tell him there's a song and then we've been busy cuz we've been getting ready to leave and stuff.

But um, so yeah, we've been. We got married on our fifth or sixth dating anniversary. So like our collective years are always the same. I don't have to like you really do the math. Except for forgetting if it was the fifth or sixth year. But we're coming up on 20 years for sure of being together and we're over.

Uh, I was together. I was with him when I was 15 and so I've been with him longer. We joke that I've been with him longer than I had been with my parents. Parents got a divorce right around that time too. So it's pretty wild. Pretty crazy.

It is wild. I always like sharing mine and Cody's meet cute. Yeah, we met way back in junior high. Um, he went to a completely different school than me. Um, but we met at my cousin's family barbecue. I went to my cousin husband's grandparents house um, for family barbecue.

And they. He was brought along by one of the family members, um, as a friend to the barbecue. And my mom, my mom being my mom, uh, started struck up a conversation with Cody um, and was talking about dogs with him. Which is like just a perfect topic for both of them.

Yeah.

And she was kind of like hey Alex, come over here. And because I wasn't gonna go talk to him and she was like come sit down, come talk to him. Isn't he so sweet?

Blah blah, blah, like obviously yeah, I'm.

Trying to hook us up. Right. Uh, and I was like okay, cool. And then we were leaving and she was like here's her number.

Oh my gosh. I don't know that I've heard that before. I mean I'm sure I have but that's so funny.

He had just broken up with like a girlfriend.

Mhm.

Uh, who he had been with for a while.

Yeah.

And so we were texting forced by my mom.

Um, forced texting?

Yeah, forced texting. And we were like talking back and forth and Koki is very like, he just like, he's very like he feels all his feelings m very quickly.

Mhm.

I knowledge that like I take time to process and like all that stuff. So anyways, he had just broke up with this girlfriend. He was like, you know, I'm really Interested in you. And we hung out at like a mall trip because we were junior high. And then he got back together with his ex girlfriend and then there was a whole drama with that.

We don't even get into that. They broke up. Then Cody and I dated for a while, like a year. And then we broke up again. We broke up. Not again. For the first time. Uh, because I was kind of like. He was, he was a lot for me.

Mhm.

He had a lot of emotions.

Yeah.

He was gonna marry me.

I was like, I don't know what to. I don't know what to do with that.

Okay. I was just going into night. I was going into 10th grade. Think of that time. And he was like, I love you, we're going to get married. Blah blah blah.

A clinger kind of. I mean, were we similar, him and I? Of course we were.

Yeah. He was like, were you married? Yeah. Uh, yeah. So he was staking that claim. He said we are going to get married. And you know, we obviously we did get married.

Spoiler alert.

But I dated a different guy actually for like four and a half years after him. Uh, and then I broke up with him. And then Cody, I swear to God, he was stalking me. Cuz it was.

He was there.

I broke up with my ex. He messaged me.

Cody did so funny. And was like, hey, yeah.

And just snuck back into my life.

That's so crazy.

Yeah. And we've been together since. So it's been 10 years now actually since we started dating again. It's been a while.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, so there's another question on there that was like, were you friends the first. So, so this kind of plays into that because Cody, how will. You guys are still pretty young. When you guys got together, what grade was that? Or did you graduate?

I was graduating.

You graduated. So he was a senior, I think, because I think he was still in school.

He was at the end of his senior year when we started dating again.

We're the same age, but my birthday is in August. Mhm. Well, I remember. Where were we living?

He brought you over and he was so goofy about it because he was like, don't you remember who this is? And mom and I were like, uh. Like, uh,

no, I don't remember. A lot happened in those years, like, just family stuff. And. And so it was just kind of funny.

You and I only met one time when Cody and I dated when we were in junior. It was like a dinner at a restaurant. And I think that's the only time we really met then.

So when I. Oh, you.

I would not have expected you to.

Know who I. Yeah, yeah, it was. He was just so funny about it.

Because he was giddy that he re.

Yes. Oh, yeah, he was totally. But it was. He was just like, don't you remember? And we're like. Like, what are we? Uh, yeah. Okay. Like, I don't know. Um. But no, Alex has been absolute blessing to our family. We' so lucky that he found somebody that fits so well into our family.

So. And I'm so lucky that we get along so good and the kids and our families like, everything. You moved to Texas. You left your family to be with us.

Uh, but I wouldn't say that we were immediately besties.

No. Well, because I moved away, uh, when I. I would have already had been gone. I would have been gone for a couple years. So we lived about two and a half hours. Two. Two and a half. Towards the end, it was longer because of traffic, but about an hour and a half, two hours away.

Um, and so I wasn't really down there. And then I was pregnant and had a kid, and so I was. Cody and I are three and a half years apart in four school years, so it's kind of a big difference in that. But so immediately. No, it probably wasn't.

You guys moved in with us. Um, yeah. And that's when we probably were a lot closer. And I took care of Alex while she was so sick.

Yeah, I feel like, you know, like,

Alicia, uh, was my maid of honor and stuff, but we. I wouldn't say that was when we got the clock closest, was when she was my maid of honor. She. We once. We moved up to Everett, uh, because my husband switched jobs and everything, and we had sold our house and I was pregnant.

Like, just the whole thing.

Yeah, we lived with them for a little while, and I feel like we really bonded while I was pregnant. Like, it was just really nice to have, like.

Well, both. Both the guys worked different, odd shifts, and so it was kind of us all the time dealing with things always. There's my words gonna Come out again. Um, always doing. And things happening when they were gone and that even happened here. It's, you know, with the dogs and the animals and things.

Tragic things were always happening when it was just you and I. So I feel like when you go think through things together, that just bonds you.

So. Yeah, it did take us. It took us some time to become besties. But I think that we're really close now and it's been. It's been like Karisha said, a blessing for. For me too. I. It's been really nice to have basically a sister which because I'm an only child.

So that was m. Kind of. That's kind of a fun experience for me to have somebody so close like that. Mhm.

And all the kids get to be together also. I think it is.

We're lucky that the kids don't hate each other.

Yeah. I mean, some days they do, but. Yeah. All right, what's next on there?

Uh, our take on aliens.

They're real.

Okay. I'm not gonna just.

Ghosts are two, for that matter.

Well, you said.

Yeah, well, they're both real. 100%.

I. I think that it would be very, uh, naive and kind of egotistical of us a little bit to think that we're the only living things in the.

In the whole universe. Yeah.

Like, like that's just wild.

Yeah,

yeah, yeah. We're a big alien family. My family.

All the aliens.

We watch all the different shows and like, I think it's so fascinating.

Cody's such like a no for everything.

Yeah.

Like no.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scary mini fans.

Um, do you remember the part where I said we were extremely sheltered growing up? Nope. No scary things for me.

Okay. Yeah. So I actually have more to say on that for you.

For me? Of course.

Uh,

like Harry Potter and Logan really likes Harry Potter. That's my five year old. And telling me that they were watching Harry Potter but it was too scary.

Oh yeah. For Jameson. We tried to watch Harry Potter so many years ago and both my kids were terrified. We just recently bought Harry Potter again.

Did you?

Well, we, we bought it and we've been watching it, the first one. And he's. He. There were some parts that he was like m. He thinks he's a tough guy and he can watch all the scary things. And Jesse would let him. He would. But he'll have. He already doesn't sleep very well, so we can't.

But we, we. Harry Potter was the first one. I'm um, waiting to do the second one after he really understands the first one.

I feel like they get scared.

Oh, for sure.

More like thrilling.

Yeah. I've also been always hesitant because I remember one of my cousins when she was about 5, and they watched Harry Potter and she had, like, night terrors because of the snake.

Oh, my gosh.

And so I'm like, okay.

I always saw them in theaters as a kid, and I think the first one came out, like, what, 2001?

Yeah.

So I was six.

I think that's great. I don't know. We're a bunch, uh, of wussies over here. Okay, you made your point.

Well, and Jesse's not Jesse. He'll stay up by himself and watch scary movies all the time.

Right. So Logan is my mom. Scary movie partner, basically, because there's, like, nothing faces her. I swear, I'm a big freaking baby story. Um, I can't watch scary movies. My mom loves scary movies, so I got exposed to them as a kid. She loves scary movies, and I would have nightmares.

So she, like, watched one that was called Hitchhiker. And there's a scene forever ingrained in my mind that makes me terrified of semi trucks. We're not gonna get in inside. What we're going to talk about is I watched this movie called Shoot. What's it called? Where they, like, knock on the wall.

It's like three knocks, and then, like, something gets you or whatever.

Are you seriously asking me right now?

Quiet place.

Do you even think I know?

No, I don't.

I'm just saying it out loud.

So, uh, I was home alone. Had just that movie with somebody. I was with somebody. And they left. Left. And my mom and aunt came home, snuck around the back of the house. It's dark.

Oh, lovely.

Like, pitch black outside. Let me have a dog board. And they start knocking.

Great for the house.

And I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Halfway hiking up the staircase, trying to call my mom. They're not answering. Call me. I'm dialing 91 1.

Oh, my. Uh, I'm home alone. Yeah.

And I had to. And my mom finally called me. He's like, you call me Justin. Ty was just calling 911. She's like, it's just me.

I was like, you traumatized for life.

Yeah, for life.

Never again.

Yeah. But definitely remember that.

Yeah. No. No scary. No scary movies.

No scary movies. My daughter can handle it. I can't. I'm a big baby. And so is Lisa and her kids.

Yes, that's accurate.

He doesn't watch movies.

Probably not. I don't like movies either.

Yeah. Okay. Favorite mlm.

Um.

Um.

Um, nothing, um, comes to mind. No, me either. I no like Lularo. I went through. I mean, Scentsy, Lularoe. Um, I never really did any of the, like, essential oils that were. Martin. I did the jamberry nails. Like, I sold those. I didn't sell Lularoe, but Scentsy and the nails I did.

I did the wine shop at home. That's technically that same kind of thing. Um, no, there. I mean, there is some really good ones out, I feel like right now, but I don't buy anything from any of them.

No, I think they try to buy mostly from like bigger vendors or a small shop.

Mhm. I was gonna say we'd rather shop local. I don't know. Small.

Yeah. Okay, check. All right, we're on for our last two questions, you guys. Well, actually, Alicia said I had some questions to review, so I'll have to look at that real quick. Uh, if you have a TED Talk to talk to a room of moms, what would our message be?

Know what it is? I think I just gotta figure out how to word it.

Uh, um.

You're doing amazing.

Be flexible.

Be flexible. You're doing better than you think.

Yeah.

Like, you know, I feel like as much we're very like, we think. We're always thinking that we're reflecting what we're doing, thinking we didn't do it right. Mhm. You know, and for the most part, I feel like we're all doing a pretty good job.

Yeah, well, because nobody's out like trying to cause harm or anything. I would also say that everything's mostly everything. Probably like a lot of it is fixable.

Yeah.

Whatever happens is fixable.

Right.

It's a, uh, if it's. Yeah. I mean, if you. My mind leans towards like, health. Some health things like could not be if you got some really bad disease. Or something like you can't really fix that, but you know, like. Or like cancer, you know, like if kid got cancer or something like that, that's a hard, hard deal.

Like you got dealt really hard cards. But you can't fix that. But you can fix if you yelled at your kid, you can apologize, or if you had a rough day, you can make it better the next day. Or you know, like nothing's really set in stone and you have to think.

About, you know, your kid while that was a bad moment. Think about the other 90.

Okay. I talk about that a lot too. Is like the moments in life and what the. The, the bigger picture is. I'm not the best with words, but like when you're pregnant and you pregnancy is really hard for you, those nine months are awful for you. But uh, think of how small of a blip that is for not only your life, your kids is life.

And like even if you're pregnant again, you know, with Logan, it's like a small blip where you were down for the count for several months and had to have extra help in it. It's such a small blip in life and then everything is about. It just gets better. So like putting that into perspective.

It's fine. Everything's fine.

Is not a lot. Yeah. Cody isn't. Listen to this podcast. Cuz he's like even more reason to.

Have another kid if you do that.

No. So yeah. But overall we're pretty chill. So just you're doing your best. Be flexible, hard on yourself. Yeah. Just go with the flow. All right.

Advice for anyone trying to get pregnant.

You look like you love me.

Oh, yeah.

Ella Langley and Riley Green. So that song where she's like, just goes up to him, it's like, you look like you want me, need me, like me, whatever.

Right?

I've been like. I was like, listen to the words of the song. Because we just talked about pop culture music. I don't listen to words in songs. So I was listening to these words the other day, and I was like, oh, this is a cute song. And then I told my mom, and she was like, yeah, because it's like, your love Story.

Right? Somebody wrote this song just for you.

So now every time I listen to it, I'm just like cracking up now.

Now we need to be telling Jesse like, hey, this is like one of our more current songs for us.

Like, oh, I got to listen to it. But he didn't tell me if he listened to it, which is funny because he's so into music and there's a song and then. Yeah, we've been busy cuz we've been getting ready to leave.

Yeah, you guys have all been really busy.

Uh, so yeah, we've been. We got married on our fifth or sixth dating anniversary. So like our collective years are always the same. I don't have to like really do the math except for forgetting if it was the fifth or sixth year.

Right. It's somewhere in there.

But we're coming up on 20 years for sure of being together and we're over. Uh, I was taking together. I was with him when I was 15 and so I've been with him longer. We joke that I've been with him longer than I had been with my parents. My parents got a divorce right around that time too.

Yeah.

So it's pretty wild.

It is wild. It is wild. Uh, I always like sharing mine and Cody's, uh, meet cute. Yeah, uh, we met way back in junior high. He um, went to a completely different school than me, um, but we met at my cousin's family barbecue. I went to my cousin's grandparents house, um, for family barbecue.

And they, he was brought along by one of the family members, um, as a friend to the barbecue. And my mom, my mom being my mom, uh, started struck up a conversation with Cody, um, and was talking about dogs with him, which is like just a perfect topic for both of them honestly.

Uh, and she was kind of like, hey Alex, come over here. And because I wasn't going to go talk to him and she was like, come sit down, come talk to him. Isn't he so sweet? Blah, blah, blah, like obviously trying to hook us up. Right. Um, and I was like, okay, cool.

And then we were leaving and she was like here's her number and gave it to him.

Yeah, yeah, so funny.

And he had just broken up with like a girlfriend, um, who he had been with for a while. And so we were texting, forced by my mom. Um, yeah, for texting. Um, and we were like talking back and forth and Cody is very like, he just like, he's very like he feels all his feelings and very quickly.

I am not like that. Like I take time to Process and, like, all that stuff. So anyways, he had just broke up with this girlfriend. He was like, you know, I'm really interested in you. And we hung out, like, uh, a mall trip because we were junior high. Um, and then he got back together with his ex girlfriend.

And then there was a whole drama with that. We don't need to get into that. They broke up. Then Cody and I dated for a while. Like a year. Um, and then we broke up again. We broke up. We. Not again. For the first time. Uh, because I was kind of like.

He was. He was a lot for me. He had a lot of emotions. He said he was gonna marry me. I was like, I can't even drive or anything. Yeah. I was like, okay. I was just going into night. Wait, what? Years ago, I was going into 10th grade, I think, at that time.

And he was like, I love you. We're gonna get married. Blah, blah, blah. And I was like, that's too much. He was a clinger.

Yeah. He was like, we're getting married. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So he was staking that claim. And he was like, we are gonna get married. And, you know, we. Obviously, we did get married. Spoiler alert.

Yeah.

Uh, but I dated a different guy, actually, for like, four and a half years after him. Um, and then I broke up with him. And then Cody, I swear to God, he was stalking me because it was like, the day I broke up with my ex, he messaged me.

Cody did. And was like, hey. And just snuck back into my life. Yeah. And we've been together since. So it's been 10 years now, actually, since we started dating again. It's been a while.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, so there's another question on there that was like, were you friends?

Were you immediately besties after meeting.

So this kind of plays into that because, Cody, how you guys are still pretty young when you guys got together.

The. When.

Where did you graduate?

I was graduated because I'm a year. I was a year ahead of him. Yeah. He was at the end of his senior year when we started dating again. We're, um, the same age, but my birthday is in August and his in October.

Well, I remember. Where were we living?

He brought you over and he was so goofy about it because he was like, don't you remember who this is?

And mom and I were like, uh.

No. Remember what happened in those years?

Right.

Um, yeah, like, just family stuff. And. And so it was just.

And I think you and I only met one time when Cody and I dated when we were in junior high. Um, and it was like a dinner at a restaurant. And I think that's the only time we really met then. So when I re. Met you, I would not have expected you to know who I was.

Yeah, uh, that's because he was giddy that he re. Yeah, he was just like, don't you remember?

And we're like. Like, what are we?

Uh, yeah, sure. Yeah.

But no, Alex is an absolute blessing to our family. We're so lucky that fits so well into our family. So. And I'm so lucky that we get along so good and the kids and our families like everything.

Yeah. Right. We're.

You left your family to be with us.

Right? Yeah. Uh, but I wouldn't say that we were immediately best 50s, would you?

Because I.

You lived in Everett.

Yeah, when I. I would have already had been.

You're already. You're already up there.

Have been gone for a couple years. So we lived about two and a half hours. Two, Two and a half. Towards the end, it was longer because of traffic, but about an hour and a half, two hours away. Um, and so I wasn't really down there. And then I was pregnant, had a kid, and so I was.

Cody and I are three and a half years apart in four school years. So it's kind of a big difference in that. But so immediately.

No, no.

You guys moved in with us when.

I was pregnant with Logan.

Yeah. And that's when we probably were a lot closer. And I took care of Alex while she was so.

Yeah, yeah, I was like dying. Um, Yeah, I feel like, you know, like Alicia was, um. That's gonna be loud. Uh, Alicia was my maid of honor and stuff. But we. I want to say that was when we got the closest, was when she was my maid of honor.

Um, she. We once we moved up to Everett, um, because my husband switched jobs and everything. Um, and we had sold our house and I was pregnant. It was like just the whole thing. Um, we lived with them for a little while and I feel like we really bonded while I was pregnant.

Like, it was just really nice to have. Like, it was really nice to have you around.

Guys worked different odd shifts and so. Mhm. Us all the time.

Yeah. Things always.

There's my words going to come out again. Always doing. And things happening when they were gone.

And that even happened here, you know.

The dogs and the animals and things. Tragic things were always happening.

Right.

But it was just you and I. Yeah.

I feel like when you go, we were trauma bonding.

That just bonds you.

Right. Uh, so, yeah, it did take us, it took us some time to become besties. But I think that we're really close now and it's been, it's been like Alicia said a blessing for, for me too. I. It's been really nice to have basically a sister, um, which because I'm an only child.

So that was kind of, that's kind of a fun experience for me to have somebody so close like that.

And all the kids get to be together also.

Yes. We're lucky that the kids don't hate each other.

Yeah.

Especially with the. Well, that's normal, right? Yeah.

Yeah. All right, what's next?

Um, our take on aliens.

They're real.

Okay. I'm not gonna just say they're real. Well, you said spirits. You know, that's ghosts. Okay. I. I think that it would be very, um, naive and kind of egotistical of us a little bit to think that we're the only living things in the universe. You're right. Like, like that's just wild if you think of it that way.

Like think of how vast space is. Crazy. Okay. Yeah. All the aliens. I don't know what Cody's take is on it. I feel like so fascinating. Cody's such like a no for everything that he probably is like. No.

Yeah. I mean, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. 100 scary, uh, movie fans.

Um, do you remember the part where I said we were extremely sheltered growing up?

Yeah.

Nope. No scary things for me.

Okay. Yeah. So I actually have more to say on that. For you is. Yeah. For you. Yeah.

Let me just insert here, uh, one. We. Okay. So I really like Harry Potter and Logan really likes Harry Potter. That's my five year old. And Alicia was telling me that they were watching Harry Potter but it was too scary for them.

Terrified. We just recently bought Harry Potter again.

Did you. Oh, you know, he told me the first one. Mhm.

There were some parts that he was like, he thinks he's a tough guy and he can watch all the scary things.

Yeah. And Jesse would let him. Yeah.

He already doesn't sleep very well.

Right. He'll never sleep.

But we. Harry Potter was the first one. I'm um, waiting to do the second one after. He really understands the first One.

Yeah. I feel like they get scared. Like more like thrilling as they go because they get older and they have, like, bigger adventures.

Hesitant because I remember one of my cousins, when she was about 5 and they watched Harry Potter and she had, like, night terrors.

Seriously? Oh, my gosh. This cracks me up because I always saw them in theaters as a kid and I think the first one came out, like, what, 2001?

Yeah.

So I was six. I don't know, because 1995. Yeah. Just a bunch of babies. No. Okay. But I. Not right.

See, he'll stay up by himself and watch scary movies all the time.

Right. So Logan is my mom's scary movie partner, basically because there's like, nothing phases her. I swear I'm a big freaking baby. And I'm going to tell you guys a funny story. Um, I can't watch scary movies. My mom loves scary movies. So I got exposed to them m.

As a kid because she loves scary movies and I would have nightmares. So she, like, watched one that was called Hitchhiker. And there's a scene forever ingrained in my mind and makes me terrified of semi trucks. We're not going to get into that. What we're going to talk about is I watched this movie called Shoot.

What's it called? Where they, like, knock on the wall and it's like three knocks and then like, something gets you or whatever. The quiet. The quiet place. Maybe that's what it is. No, I don't. I'm just saying the. The premise of the movie. So, uh, I was home alone, had just finished watching that movie with somebody.

I was with somebody. And they left. And my mom and my aunt came home, snuck around the back of the house. It's dark out, like. Like pitch black outside. And we have a dog door. And they start knocking on the back of the house. And I'm like, oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Halfway hiding up the staircase, trying to call my mom. They're not answering. Call my aunt. Not answering. I'm dialing 911 because I was like, somebody's breaking. I'm home alone. And I had to. And my mom finally called me and was like, you called me just in time.

I was just calling 911 and she's like, it's just me. Me. I was like, you traumatized me. Yeah. For life. Yeah. But definitely remember that. So no scary movies. My daughter can handle it. I can't. I'm a big baby. And so is Lisa and her kids. Apparently.

Yes.

I don't. I don't know about Cody, he doesn't watch movies, so. Yeah, I don't like movies either. Yeah. Okay. Favorite mlm. Um, I don't have one.

Um.

Do you have. Yeah, me either. I mean, you used to like Lularoe.

I went through. I mean, Scentsy, Lularoe. Um, I never really did any of the, like, essential oils.

Oh, you did. Like the jam berries. Was that what they were called?

Nails. Like I said.

Yeah.

I didn't sell Lularoe, but Scentsy and the nails, I did. I did the wine shop at home.

Yeah. That same kind of concept. Yeah.

Um, no, there. I mean, there is some really good ones out, I feel like right now, but I don't buy anything from any of them.

No, I think they try to buy mostly from, like, bigger vendors or a small shop rather than, like.

I don't know, small.

Yeah. Okay. Check. All right, we're on to our last two questions, you guys. Well, actually, Alicia said I had some questions to review, so I'll have to look at that real quick. Um, if you have a TED Talk to talk to a room of moms, what would our message be?

I had a percent know what it is? I think I just gotta figure out how to word it. Um,

you're doing amazing.

Be flexible.

Be flexible. You're doing better than you think. Like, you know, I feel like as moms, we're. We're very like. We think. We're always thinking that we're reflecting on what we're doing, thinking we didn't do it right, you know, and for the most part, I feel like we're all doing a pretty good job.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, because nobody's out, like, trying to cause harm or anything.

Right.

I would also say that, uh, everything's mostly everything. Probably, like, a lot of it is fixable.

Yeah.

Whatever happens is fixable, Right?

For the most part, yeah.

Uh, my leans towards health. Some health things could not be if you got some really bad disease. Disease or something like you can't really fix that.

Right. And that's why I was like, well, something.

Yeah. If kid got cancer or something like that, that's a hard deal. Like you got dealt really hard cards. But yeah, you can't fix that.

Right.

But you can fix. If you yelled at your kid, you can apologize or if you had a rough day, you can make it better the next day.

Right.

Or you know, like nothing's really.

You can balance things. Things like. And you have to think about, you know, your kid while that was a bad moment, think about the other 90% of the day moments.

Okay. I talk about that a lot too. Is like the moments in life and what the, the, the bigger picture is. I'm not the best with words, but like when you're pregnant and you pregnancy is really hard for you.

Mhm.

Those nine months are awful.

Yeah. But they're think of how their heck.

That is for not only your life, your kids life. Like even if you're pregnant again, you know, with Logan, it's like a small blip where you were down for the count for several months.

Yeah.

And had to have extra help in it. It's such a small blip in life.

Mhm. And then everything just, it just gets better. Right.

So like putting that into perspective, it's fine.

Right. In the grand scheme of things, like the nine months is not a lot. Yeah. Cody doesn't listen to this podcast because he's gonna be like even more reason to have another kid if he heard that. Yeah.

No. Yeah.

So.

Yeah.

But overall we're pretty chill. So just you're doing your best, be flexible.

Mhm. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Go with the flow.

All right. Advice for anyone trying to get pregnant.

I'll tell you what I did.

Yeah. Ah.

I mean I have pcos, uh, which is a fairly common diagnosis for women. Um, and I was kind of told that it'd be really, really hard, almost impossible to get pregnant. Uh, and that was six years ago. No, I was born six. Because took us while you're pregnant. So I think years ago.

A while. It's been a while. Um, and because we got. Yeah. Because we started trying. Um, and I was pretty much told it was gonna be really, really hard and I was gonna need fertility treatments, blah, blah. And I was kind of like, okay, that was a tough pill to swallow.

I wasn't sure wanted kids in the first place. And I got told that and it's kind of like. Okay. So what I did though was I just made intentional choices, I guess.

Yeah.

Which was I decided that I would be the best, healthiest I could be. Um, and do what we can on our end and Try not to stress about it. Obviously that's. You can't force yourself not to stress.

Yeah.

I made healthier food choices. Um, I cut out some things that were like, kind of inflammatory. To what? To PCs and stuff like that. Uh, I was exercising more regularly to kind of like get the hormones moving in my body and stuff basically and balancing better. Um, and we were to the point with Logan of getting, um, IVF treatments.

Basically.

Like I had gone in.

We were what doctor appointment away from starting that, um, process. And it was scheduled in like the day before that appointment. I found that.

Yeah. It's so crazy.

Yeah. Um, so I'll say, you know, it takes time. Be patient with your body.

Yep.

Um, it takes time for your body to kind of like, especially if you're taking birth control or anything like that takes time for. Get out of your system.

Mhm. Regulate Time for you to.

Yeah, regulate. Get all those hormones out of your body. Um, for your body to start ovulating normally, all that stuff. So it just takes time. You just need to be patient and don't be scared to talk to your doctor.

Yeah, yeah, Yep, definitely. And be, yeah, be the squeaky wheel. If you don't feel like you're getting the care that you need and uh, your problems addressed, your questions answered, then keep going back. Absolutely.

I went through, I can't even tell you how many doctors I went through. Uh, before I even got a PCOS diagnosis. I, um, had to go through so many doctors just to get that diagnosis. And then, and then from there, so many for fertility stuff basically. Um, so advocate for yourself.

No one else is going to do it but you.

Yeah. Um, I 100, 110% agree with everything you said, but the healthy lifestyle doctors I also lean towards, everything happens for a reason. I know you're laughing at me, but that's a part of me where I'm like, if things are gonna be like, you just have to chill. Like we've been referencing this going back.

You just have to calm down. Like you said, like, don't be stressed about it.

Oh my gosh. My mom, she's been a year of this episode. I said those things to you and yes, mom, you. You did.

Yeah.

And I just, you know, you can't make yourself do something. So when we were to the point of getting IVF and like one appointment away, I was, we were like, okay, we'll stop trying.

Mhm.

Then we got pregnant.

Right.

Uh, same thing happened with the twins. We were kind of like, okay, well maybe now's not the Time. Mhm. We had a lot of stuff going on and then we got pregnant.

Yeah.

Because we weren't thinking it, overthinking it and pushing ourselves too hard.

Right. Yeah. I think sometimes, uh, there's just maybe things that we don't know that guide what happened. Like what happens that, that I really think that I've been through. I've had three pregnancies, I only have two kids and thing. There was a lot of things that happened in between.

So I just. If it's gonna happen, it's either gonna happen or it's just not gonna happen. And maybe you don't know the reasons why that you know is gonna happen or not going to happen. It's totally out of your control, honestly. If that's really your destiny, I guess. But foremost I.

What you said is definitely. Definitely what.

What about you?

We weren't trying. We weren't preventing or trying. So that was. I never can talk about these things because it just happened. Um. Yeah. No, and then my, my middle pregnancy, we were trying and then, ah. That one obviously didn't. That was a pregnancy that we didn't get. And so trying for the third one after that and potentially looking at a subsequent issue, um, that was hard.

Yeah.

And that's kind of where my mindset came in. My whole mantra for that time was everything happens for a reason. Literally, uh, I had a bracelet, I still have it, that said that. And that's what I lived by.

Jameson's pregnancy was. Was stressful for you?

It was extremely, extremely stressful. Good reason after everything. So definitely. So that's why I believe it's that. That some things, some things you. They're just out of your control. And while it sucks and it's emotional and it's awful and people ask you when are you having your next one or when are you gonna have kids?

Those are the worst questions you don't ask. And I, uh. Oh, I don't think I could get through a whole episode about that. Um, I. That or you just know. It just. Yeah, those, those are the things that. That suck. It just sucks.

Yeah, no.

To be asked those questions when you're trying. So.

I agree. I mean, like I said, I. You were dealing with your loss and I was dealing with infertility.

Right.

I worked at a bank actually at the time. Um. Yes, Kylie, I will get to your question. I worked at a bank as a teller at that time. And uh, everybody, it was like a small like bank. Um, I mean it was a big bank, but it was a small area.

That it was in. So everyone that came in knew me, knew I just got married and.

Yeah.

And would just ask those questions. Oh, you guys are so sweet. When are you gonna have babies? Blah blah. And it's like, you know, I just, I get that that's what people do and.

Yeah.

Meaning. But at the same time it was hard to hear because it was like, I'm trying but like feeling like a failure almost.

Right.

Because I'm been trying for so long.

Yep. Yeah, we definitely shared that same feeling because I've been through that too with like when you have a pregnancy that doesn't go the way it should. Um. Or your body, you feel like your body failed you or it didn't do what it was supposed to do. You do feel like you, like you failed like in your one thing that you know, it did it wrong.

So. Yeah. Nope. Tough, tough things. We women moms are resilient and very strong and we just make things happen.

Right. As we talked about towards the beginning of this episode, we're kind of just expected to do that too, so.

Mhm. We carry that whole mental load of all of that.

Yeah. To us we're strong.

Yep. I think this great, great way to just circle back and wrap up the episode.

I agree. There are some other questions on here that maybe we could answer, but maybe we'll cover them in a different episode.

Yeah. If you really enjoyed this episode, please let us know because we would love to do another ask us anything and see what new questions we could get.

Right. So we hope you enjoyed it.

I'll tell you what I did when I mean I have pcos, um, which is a fairly common diagnosis for women. Um, and I was kind of told that it'd be really, really hard, almost impossible to get pregnant. Um, and that was six years ago. No, I was more than six because it took us a while to get pregnant.

So like eight or nine years ago. A while. It's been a while. Um, um. And because we got. Yeah. Because we started trying when we got married. So it's been a while. Um, and I was pretty much told it was going to be really, really hard and I was going to need fertility treatments, blah, blah, blah.

And I was kind of like, okay, that was a tough pill to swallow. I wasn't sure I wanted kids in the first place. And then I got told that, and it's kind of like, okay. So what I did, though, was I just made intentional choices, I guess, which was I decided that I would be the best, healthiest I could be.

Um, and do what we can on our end and try not to stress about it. Obviously, that's. You can't force yourself not to stress. But I made healthier food choices. Um, I cut out some things that were, like, kind of inflammatory to what? To PCs and stuff like that.

Um, I was exercising more regularly to kind of like get the hormones moving in my body and stuff, basically, and balancing better. Um, and we were to the point with Logan, of getting, um, IVF treatments, basically. Like, Cody had gone in, I had gone in. We were one doctor appointment away from starting that, um, process, and it was scheduled in, like, the day before that appointment, I found out I was pregnant.

Yeah.

It was crazy.

So crazy.

Yeah. Um, so I'll say, you know, it takes time. Be patient with your body. Um, it takes time for your body to kind of, like, especially if you're taking birth control or anything like that, it takes time for it to get out of your system. Um, it takes time for you to.

Yeah. Regulate. Get all those hormones out of your body, um, for your body to start ovulating normally, all that stuff. So it just takes time. You just need a patient. And don't be scared to talk to your doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. And push.

Yeah. Be the squeaky wheel. Like you're getting the care that you need and your problems addressed, your questions answered, then keep going back.

Or get a different doctor.

Absolutely.

Like, I went through. I can't even tell you how many doctors I went through. Um, before I even got a PCOS diagnosis, um, I had to go through so many doctors just to get that diagnosis. And then. And then from there, so many. For fertility stuff, basically. Um, so advocate for yourself.

No one else is going to do it but you.

Yeah. Um, I 100, 110 agree with everything you said that the healthy lifestyle, doctors I also lean towards. Everything happens for a reason.

But that's a part of me where I'm like, if things are gonna be like, you just have to chill. Like, we've been referencing this going back. You just have to calm down. Like you said, like, don't be stressed about it.

Right. Oh, my gosh, my mom, she's gonna hear this episode and be like, I said those things to you. And yes, mom, you did. And I just, you know, you can't make yourself do something. So when we were to the point of getting IVF and like one appointment away I was.

We were like okay, we'll stop trying. You know. Then we got pregnant.

Right.

Um. Same thing happened with the twins. We were kind of like okay, well maybe now's not the time because we had a lot of stuff going on and then we got pregnant because we weren't thinking, overthinking it and pushing ourselves too hard basically.

Yeah. I think sometimes, uh. There's just everything that we don't know that guide. What happened.

Mhm.

What happens?

Mhm.

That. That I really think that.

Right.

I've been through. I've had three pregnancies. I only have two kids and thing. There was a lot of things that happened in between.

So I just.

If it's gonna happen, it's either gonna happen or it's just not gonna happen.

Right.

Maybe you don't know the reasons why that you know.

Mhm.

Or not not going to happen.

But it was totally out of your control. Obviously.

If that's really your destiny, I guess.

Right. But right foremost I. What you said is definitely right. What. What about you when you were trying to get pregnant with Delilah. You guys weren't really like trying. Yeah. You're just like if it happens. Yeah. I always just love her answer for that middle pregnancy.

We were trying. And then that one obviously didn't. That was a pregnancy that we didn't get. And so trying for the third one after that and potentially looking at the subsequent issue. Um. That was hard.

Yeah.

And that's kind of where my mindset came in. My whole mantra for that time was everything happens for a reason.

I know I had a break bracelet.

I still have it.

Yeah.

That. And that's what it lived by.

Yeah. I do feel like Jameson's pregnancy was. Was stressful for you.

It was extremely.

Yeah. And with. With good reason though. I mean after everything. So I definitely.

That's why I believe it's.

You know, what's gonna happen is gonna happen. Basically. Yeah.

You're just out of your control.

Yeah.

And while it sucks and it's emotional and it's awful and people ask you when are you having your next one or when are you gonna have kids?

Don't ask people that.

You don't ask. And I uh.

We need like a whole episode on that.

I don't think get through a whole.

Episode before she starts rioting.

You just know.

Yeah.

It just. Yeah. Those. Those are the things that. That suck. It just sucks. Uh.

Yeah. No.

To be asked those questions. Questions when you're trying.

So I agree I mean, like I said, I. You were dealing with your loss, and I was dealing with infertility and getting asked that. I worked at a bank, actually, at the time. Um, yes, Kylie, I will get to your question. I worked at a bank as a teller at that time.

And, uh, everybody. It was like a small, like, bank. Um, I mean, it was a big bank, but it was a small area that it was in. So everyone that came in knew me, knew I just got married, everything like that, and would just ask those questions. Oh, you guys are so sweet.

When are you gonna have babies? Blah, blah. And it's like, you know, I just. I get that that's what people do in their middle meaning, but at the same time, it was hard to hear because it was like, I'm trying, but, like, feeling like a failure almost, because I've been trying for so long.

Yeah, you definitely share that same feeling.

Because I've been through that too.

Yeah.

When you have a pregnancy that doesn't go the way it should, or your body, you feel like your body failed you or it didn't do what it was supposed to do, you do feel like you.

Like you failed, right? Like the one thing your potty's supposed to do. Yeah.

So, yeah, no tough, tough things. We women moms are resilient and very strong, and we just make things happen.

Right. As we talked about towards the beginning of this episode, we're kind of just expected to do that too. So, I mean. Yeah, I mean, more power to us. We're strong.

I think this great, great way to just circle back and wrap up the episode.

I agree. There are some other questions on here that maybe we could answer, but maybe we'll cover them in a different episode all on their own.

If you really enjoyed this episode, please let us know because we would love to do another Ask us anything and see what new questions we could get.

Right. So we hope you enjoyed it.