Confidence, Identity & Healing with Adrian Lindsey

Recorded live at the Marked Women’s Conference, this powerful conversation with Adrian Lindsay is an honest, vulnerable, and Spirit-filled discussion about identity, insecurity, healing, and becoming whole in Christ. 

Pastor Octavia and Adrian unpack what it looks like to battle lies about your worth, navigate insecurity in marriage, heal from painful words and past mistakes, and learn how to truly believe what God says about you.

Together, they discuss:

• Struggling with body image and self-worth
• Learning to silence the voice of the enemy
• The danger of toxic cycles and self-sabotage
• Why healing requires both prayer and practical work
• The importance of healthy accountability and truth-tellers
• How to stop being defined by your past
• Finding confidence through intimacy with God instead of success, appearance, or validation

This episode is filled with wisdom, humor, truth, and encouragement for every woman who has ever questioned her value or felt marked by pain, insecurity, shame, or comparison.

You are not too broken. You are not forgotten. And you are not a mistake.

God is still rewriting your story.

Transcript

With Grace Podcast — Live at Marked Women’s Conference

Welcome to With Grace. I’m your host, Octavia Cormier, and this season we are talking about what it means to be a whole person even through the transitions of life. This podcast was created especially for women who want the touch of God’s grace on every area of their life. If you’re ready to grow in your faith and become a whole person, this episode is for you.

This episode of the With Grace Podcast was recorded live at Marked Women’s Conference. 

Octavia:
Adrian, I’m so excited to have you on the episode today. You are an amazing woman and you’ve experienced a lot of different things in life. We’re talking about being a whole person and what that looks like, so I’d love for you to introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about you.

Adrian:
I’ll give you the short version because I’ve been living a long time.

My name is Adrian Lindsay. I’ve been married 28 years, together 33 years, to the best friend of my life, Aaron Lindsay. He’s a six-time Grammy Award-winning producer and songwriter. We’ve had a colorful and busy life. We met in Ohio, raised our kids in Texas, moved around a lot, and eventually settled in California where we planted our church, Believe LA.

Church planting has changed our lives. When you realize how many people need your story, it changes everything. We’re in what I call the middle season of life now. We’re both in our 50s, we have grown children, and God is still stretching us.

For the most part, I stayed home with our kids while my husband traveled the world for work — and that comes with an asterisk.

Octavia:
You’ve lived a lot of life in front of a lot of people. Talk to us about those seasons and how they shaped the woman you are today.

Adrian:
I met my husband when I was 18, so I didn’t know anything about myself or about life. We grew together.

He was an electrician with a good job and benefits, and then one day he told me he wanted to pursue music full-time. I didn’t even fully understand what that meant. Then he told me, “I’m going to be in studios late at night with women. Are you okay with that?”

I had to count the cost.

I said yes to a lot of things I didn’t fully understand. One thing he did tell me was, “I will never be a pastor.” And now here we are — pastors.

Those seasons marked me. I was young, growing, being seen publicly because my husband was always on stages. My process was being watched while I was still trying to figure out who I was. I had to smile through seasons where my heart was hurting.

Octavia:
How damaging was that? You’re young, raising children, your husband is traveling and working, and you’re trying to keep it together publicly.

Adrian:
I struggled deeply with my beauty and my worth. I didn’t think I was pretty enough. I was having babies and battling insecurity.

My husband constantly affirmed me, but I had a hard time believing him because the lie I believed about myself was louder than the truth he was speaking.

I eventually realized I was reinterpreting the truth through insecurity.

God had to repeatedly show me truth until I was willing to believe it. I had to stop visiting the lie and start visiting the truth.

Octavia:
That’s so important.

When Pastor Brandon and I got married, I was extremely insecure too. He complimented me constantly, but it still wasn’t enough because I had a God-sized hole in my heart.

Every compliment just washed right through me because I didn’t actually believe what was being said.

No matter what stage of life you’re in, success, compliments, or validation won’t stick until you allow the Lord to cement your identity.

Now when my husband compliments me, it’s the cherry on top because I already know who God says I am.

We have to come into agreement with what God has spoken over us.

The enemy’s voice can become so familiar that we stop confronting it. But if we don’t identify, address, and reject those lies, they’ll take root in our lives.

Adrian:
The worst lie you can believe is the one you tell yourself.

The enemy is already employed to accuse you, but when you repeat those lies to yourself every day, you partner with him.

Self-sabotage is real.

We live in a culture constantly telling us who we are not. But if you truly believe that God did not make a mistake when He created you, it changes how you walk, who you attract, and how you show up in the world.

Octavia:
At the same time, declaring God’s Word is not a magic wand. We can’t just declare things without actually doing the work.

We have to evaluate ourselves honestly.

I literally told my counselor yesterday, “We’ve got some things to work on.”

It’s not just declaration — it’s declaration and action.

Adrian:
There was a major turning point for me after someone publicly exposed part of my past that I had kept hidden.

It wounded me deeply because it was true.

I spiraled into hopelessness and began questioning whether I had any value at all.

But during that season, God kept waking me up around 5 a.m. to meet with Him. I would sit in my prayer closet in the dark with worship music playing and journal what I felt Him saying.

And one thing He told me over and over was:

“I did not make a mistake when I called you.”

God showed me that hiding my testimony was actually keeping other women trapped in shame.

I hadn’t done everything perfectly. I didn’t get married as a virgin. I carried shame over mistakes I made. But God reminded me that His redemption story is His glory.

He loved me so deeply in that season that it completely changed me.

And when God truly marks you, nobody can convince you otherwise afterward.

Octavia:
That’s so powerful.

A lot of people experience breakthrough moments with God, but then they don’t maintain what happened afterward.

Deliverance can happen in a moment, but maintenance requires intentionality.

You need truth-tellers in your life.

Adrian:
You need healthy mirror holders.

People who can lovingly remind you who you are without wounding you.

Some people are toxic because they’ve been hurt, but hurt doesn’t give us permission to hurt others.

Octavia:
And some people genuinely need to evaluate whether they’ve become toxic.

Sometimes we keep people at a distance because we’re afraid of being hurt again, but then we wonder why nobody feels safe around us.

We need people who can lovingly correct us.

And when someone trusts you with their pain, don’t abuse that trust by sharing it carelessly.

Adrian:
Faithful are the wounds of a friend.

Healthy feedback matters.

You don’t always know how you’re showing up until someone lovingly tells you.

Octavia:
Where does your confidence come from today?

Adrian:
It comes from the Lord.

Time with Him.

Knowing I’ve been marked by His love.

I grew up feeling like a mistake, but God taught me that He didn’t make a mistake when He created me — even in the physical body He gave me.

My confidence doesn’t come from my husband’s success, social media, or ministry growth. It comes from knowing I belong to Jesus and that He will finish the work He started in me.

Octavia:
No matter how successful you become, confidence can’t come from external things.

You can’t build your worth on designer bags, achievements, or appearances.

You have to do the work on the inside so you’re not consumed with what’s happening on the outside.

Adrian:
Exactly.

If you’re self-defined by Jesus, external things lose their power over you.

The glory is the glory no matter what you’re wearing.

Octavia:
I love that.

And I want to pray over every woman struggling with self-image.

Jesus, thank You for every woman listening. We submit every insecurity, comparison, and lie to You. Help us live from the reality that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Silence the voice of the enemy and help us walk confidently in who You created us to be. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Adrian, what would you say to the woman who feels more marked by her past than by what God is doing now?

Adrian:
Silence the noise.

The enemy wants to keep painful things constantly replaying in your mind until you believe they define you.

But you need a new image of yourself rooted in what God says.

You may have done what they said you did, but that is not your address anymore.

God is still rewriting your story.

You have the power to choose differently today.

Octavia:
Tomorrow when you wake up, remind yourself who you are now.

Don’t let the enemy inform you of your identity.

Interrupt the lies.

Interrupt the cycle.

You are not too much. You are not not enough.

Ask the Lord to bring you back to who He originally designed you to be.