Leaders and Their Character: The Good Life (Week 2)

 This Sunday, Founding Pastor Rick Duncan teaches that God calls church leaders to be marked by Christlike character, faithfulness, humility, and a deep commitment to His Word rather than charisma, success, or personal influence. We learn that when we fix our hope on Jesus instead of human leaders, pursue godly character in our own lives, and help guide others toward Christ, we contribute to healthy homes, healthy churches, and the truly good life. 

PDF Resources: ( Sermon Notes )

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

And uh thanks, Tony. And pray pray for Pastor Joe. He'll be he's scheduled to speak tonight. I'm scheduled to speak tomorrow night, and then Lauren Meyer, and then Kevin Laurel, and then Tony on Thursday. So we could use your prayers. It's intimidating to stand in front of 200 teenagers and give a message. So we need your prayers. In uh the early 2000s, a pastor named Mark Driscoll rose to national prominence. He was bold, he was articulate, he had the guts to say things that most pastors wouldn't say. And people came, thousands of them. What started as a small Bible study in Seattle became a movement, a church with over 12,000 people who believed this church is going to help me live the good life. There were multiple campuses, national platform, books, conferences, all that. And from the outside, it just looked amazing. But inside, trouble was brewing. Staff and leaders were afraid to speak their minds. Some who did were pushed out. Accusations of Driscoll's domineering behavior surfaced, and concerns about his accountability were voiced. And more than 20 former pastors on that staff brought charges against him. Former elders said that he was unrepentant and unfit for ministry. And then in 2014, it just all collapsed. Driscoll resigned, blaming pretty much everybody but himself, and the church ceased to exist. Just gone. Real people were hurt, new believers trying to walk with Jesus, marriages trying to survive, skeptics wanting to see if Christianity is real, and many walked away, wounded, disillusioned, and some even deconstructed their faith altogether. So how does something that looks so fruitful become so destructive? Well, it can happen when competence exceeds character, when success won't allow scrutiny, and when privilege is prized over pastoring. And when that happens, what is supposed to be a church to help people live the good life becomes an environment where people begin to live wrecked lives. Now, some of you don't need a story about a West Coast pastor because you've lived it. You've sat under leadership where control was more important than care, where ego replaced humility, and image mattered more than integrity. So when you hear pastor or spiritual leader, you kind of brace yourself. But here's what we need to see: God's guidelines for church leadership is not about producing powerful leaders, it's about protecting the people from unqualified ones. See, God doesn't want us to appoint leaders for his churches based on charisma. He starts with character. Because in the Church of Jesus Christ, the greatest threat is not weak leadership, it's unqualified leadership. So hopefully you're there in Titus chapter 1, and at first glance, this Titus 1 message doesn't seem like a good Father's Day message. I mean, you may have come expecting a sermon about family or parenting, but instead here we are talking about church leadership. But think about the language that God uses for the church. God is our father, the church is a family, we are brothers and sisters, and spiritual leaders are supposed to care for God's household. Leaders are to be spiritual fathers in the family of God. And they're entrusted with helping the family of God actually flourish. So that's why on Father's Day this year, Titus 1 is relevant. God is showing us the character and the competence of the fathers of the church. And nearly everything God expects of spiritual leaders is also something he desires to see growing in every Christian, especially the dads among us. So here we are, the great missionary Paul has written a letter to a young pastor, Titus, because he's leading a group of baby churches on an island in the Mediterranean Sea called Crete. And he's giving him guidance on how to lead these brand new church plants. So let's read it together. Titus chapter 1, verse 5. This is why I left you in Crete, Paul says to Titus, so that you might put what remains into order and appoint elders in every town as I have directed you. If anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination, for an overseer as God's steward must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine, and also to refute those who contradict it. For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party. They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. So today we're going to think about the calling, the character, the conduct, and the convictions for church leaders. And these are the marks of Christian maturity really for all of us. This passage helps us understand what kind of men leaders are supposed to be, and what kind of man every father should want to be. So whether you're here today, you're a father or a future father, a grandfather, a young man preparing for adulthood, or just simply a follower of Christ wanting to grow in godliness, Titus 1 has something to say to us because healthy churches need godly leaders, healthy homes need godly fathers, and both are gifts from our Heavenly Father that are going to help us live the good life. So, first, leaders and their calling. Now we're talking about their responsibility to the church. And in this passage, we see three roles that leaders play in the life of a good church. And these roles give us a picture of what godly leaders actually do in a church. First, the word elders. It's in verse 5. This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order and appoint elders in every town as I have directed you. Now, the word elder, we kind of think, oh, that must mean a guy like Pastor Rick, a guy kind of getting a little bit older, okay? But it's not primarily about age. It's a word that emphasizes spiritual maturity, holy wisdom, and godly influence. So an elder is not like a really successful businessman. It's not a CEO, it's not a celebrity. He's a spiritually mature man who helps guides God's people with wisdom. In other places in the New Testament, this role is referred to not only as elder, but also pastor and overseer. Now, here at Chihuahua, our church is led by a plurality of elders. That means more than one, a group of elders. And God gives responsibilities to the members of our congregation who then affirm and elect elders of our church. And because CBC is a larger church, the elders have delegated the day-to-day responsibilities of guiding the church to the staff. And our aim is everybody's practicing mutual submission. The staff are accountable to the elders. The elders are accountable to one another and to the congregation, and the congregation is accountable to Jesus. So that's the word elder. And then if you skip down to verse 7, you see two more words that describe the leader's responsibility. It says, for an elder as God's steward must be above reproach. So, overseer. An overseer watches over the spiritual health of the church. He pays attention to people, to their dangers, to the direction of the church. An elder slash overseer sees what others miss and takes responsibility for the spiritual and relational health of the church. I mean, think about a shepherd who's standing on a hillside and he's overlooking the flock of lambs. That elder sees the sheep grazing, but he is constantly scanning the horizon and he sees danger before the sheep do. And that's what an elder is supposed to do as an overseer. Watch over souls, guard the church from harm. Guide the church toward health. And then in verse 7, you see the word stewards. A steward is somebody that manages something that belongs to someone else. So the church does not belong to the pastor, the church does not belong to the staff. The church does not belong to the elders. Church does not even belong to the congregation. It belongs to Jesus, right? Elders are caretakers entrusted with God's people, God's word, God's mission, God's resources. I mean, imagine if you were asked to manage somebody's estate while they are away. You wouldn't ask this question, like, what do I want? Hopefully, you would ask, what does the owner want? And that's a steward. So pastors don't own the church. They manage Christ's church on Christ's behalf. And the Bible says one day they will stand before Him and give an account of that. So that's leaders and their calling, their responsibility to their church. Now, leaders and their conduct. This is the relationship with the family. Verse 6 starts this way: if anyone is above reproach, now this qualification that starts verse 6 is connected to what's else is in verse 6, which is talking about family life. Why is that? It's because the home is where a person's character is tested. A man can stand in front of a congregation for an hour and impress. But God wants that leader to impress his family, not for an hour, but for a lifetime. See, because spouses and children are walking hypocrisy detectors. What does his wife see when he's tired? What do his children see when he's frustrated? What does his family see when nobody else is watching except for the family? See, above reproach doesn't mean that a dad talks one way at a church and then another way at a home. So this phrase above reproach, it's kind of the umbrella over other qualifications. And the idea is not sinlessness. If sinlessness was the standard, there could be no elders. Above reproach does not mean there's nothing to confess. Above reproach means there's nothing to hide. There is no accusation against this person that will stick. So public reputation and private reality match. There's not a secret life that will shock the congregation. So above reproach. And then it says, the husband of one wife. Now this doesn't mean that the elder has to be married. Jesus wasn't married, Paul wasn't married, but if he is married, the phrase literally means a one-woman man. He's not flirtatious. Of course, he's not adulterous. His heart belongs to his wife. So the question is not, is he married? The question is, how does he treat the woman that he's married to? Is he faithful? Is he pure? So you see, a one-woman man isn't constantly wondering, is there somebody smarter? Is there somebody prettier? Is there somebody that's more compatible? This describes a man who has settled his affections. A one-woman man isn't merely faithful with his body, he's faithful with his heart. His affections are settled, his loyalty is established, his life is intertwined with one woman only. Now, why is this so important? It's because marriage is to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church. An elder is supposed to be a husband like Christ who keeps his promises. He's supposed to be a husband like Christ who loves sacrificially. So when anybody in a church says, What does a Christian husband look like? You need to be able to point to that overseer, that elder, that pastor, and say, it looks like that guy. You ought to be able to say, I want to love my wife like he does. Now, some of you might be wondering, wait a minute, wait a minute, does this mean that a godly woman cannot serve as a pastor? Well, that's not really the primary point of Titus chapter 1, so we're not going to take the time to explore this in depth this morning. But if we take to in face to face value, passages like Titus 1 and 1 Timothy 2 and 1 Timothy 3, it's apparent that God has reserved the office of pastor, elder, overseer to qualified men. You don't find in the Bible women serving in these roles. And the overwhelming consensus of church history has affirmed that position. But don't hear us minimizing the value, the gifting, or the influence of women. Because here at CVC, you will regularly see women up front, like Lindsay, leading. You'll see women teaching and discipling and organizing ministries and advancing the mission of God. Because women are created equally in the image of God. They're equally gifted by the Holy Spirit and equally valuable to the kingdom. And we want the little girls that are growing up at this church to see that God has gifted all of his daughters and he has called them all into significant kingdom work. Now we're not going to place restrictions where God's word does not place them. But we're not going to remove distinctions where God's word makes them. And if you want to study this further, four years ago, our own staff members, Becca Ferguson, and at that time Josh Stone was on our staff. They edited a position paper on the role of women in ministries that was adopted by our elders. And that's available on our website, cbconline.org slash connect. And if you click there, you'll see today's sermon resources. You can find that paper there. Or we've got printed copies available for you in the four years. So get that paper and read it. So, husband of one wife, and then he says, children are believers. Look at how it finishes. His verse 6, his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. So children are believers. A better translation probably would be faithful children. He's talking about children that are still living at home or teenagers that are still living at home. And it says here, they can't be guilty of debauchery. Anybody want to take a stab at what that means? I had to look that up myself. I don't use that word in everyday life. Like Mary Ann, that was a debauchery of a supper tonight. No. That's not in my notes. I don't know. It means that you're not guilty of wasteful living or selfish indulgence. Debauchery is somebody that puts pleasure ahead of anything else. They pursue pleasure without restraint. Now, Paul is not talking about having a child that might struggle with sin, or a child that has questions about God, or a child who occasionally fails, or a child who is having a difficult season. He's talking about a child who is just like openly rebellious and morally reckless. Alexander Strock wrote a book about elders, pastors, and overseers, and he says this the contrast being made is not between saved and unsaved children, but between obedient, respectful children and lawless, uncontrolled children. So this is all important because an elder's home is his first ministry. Before he shepherds God's family, he's got to demonstrate faithfulness and fruitfulness with his own family. So that's leaders in their conduct, their relationship with their family. And now leaders and their character. It's their reputation in the community. Verses 7 and 8. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain. Not that. Hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. So that's 11 characteristics. Aren't you glad I'm not going to unpack them all today? We are naturally attracted to gifted people. We love leaders with charisma, with confidence, with strong communication skills. And sometimes we have a tendency to value competence more than character. And the church in the United States has been deeply compromised by what I call and others have called the cult of celebrity. Repeatedly, we've watched gifted leaders build these large platforms while neglecting the very character qualities that Paul is emphasizing here in Titus chapter 1. And I've seen that happen. Up close and personal. And here's how it works: a leader might appear to be humble, but underneath the surface, he might be wounded and needy and hungry. Not necessarily hungry for money, but hungry for applause. Hungry for attention, hungry for control, hungry for building up his self-worth. And Paul says here a leader must not be arrogant and not be greedy. Sometimes the greed is not financial gain. Sometimes the greed is for admiration, for followers, for influence. One of the ways unhealthy leaders operate is through what counselors call the drama triangle. So at the bottom of the drama triangle, you see the victim. And surprisingly, in the trauma drama triangle, that victim can be the charismatic communicator. That's the way he sees himself. The spiritual leader presents himself as someone who is doing a great work for God. But I am under attack. And it is spiritual warfare. The devil is after me, he wants to bring me down. That's why I'm misunderstood. That's why I'm being criticized. That's why I'm facing opposition. And at another corner of the triangle are his persecutors. These are people that just disagree or question or challenge or correct him. And then at the third corner are the rescuers. These are the people he recruits to defend him, encourage him, pity him, take his side. And here's the result: confusion, division, constant conflict. And here's the telltale sign. The moment a rescuer asks a hard question or offers a loving correction, he or she is immediately moved over to the persecutor category. And the leader, the victim, runs and finds other rescuers. And the cycle just repeats itself over and over. I've lived through this. I've personally bounced from being the rescuer one day to the persecutor to the next and back and forth. I thought I was going crazy. And I ended up in a counselor's office who helped me make sense out of what was really happening. Wounded souls, emotionally and spiritually, are left in the wake of a leader like this. And some of you know exactly what I'm describing because you too have lived through it. You thought you were building the kingdom, but you got caught in a personality cult. And this is one of the reasons I thank God for the plurality of elders that we have here at CBC. The New Testament pattern is not one dominant personality surrounded by unquestioning loyal followers. This church is supposed to be protected by a team of qualified elders who shepherd together, who hold one another accountable. So a healthy church doesn't revolve around a celebrity pastor, it revolves around a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Character counts more than competence and charisma. A gifted communicator attracts a crowd, but godly character edifies the church. And if you've been hurt by spiritual abuse or narcissistic leadership, what you experienced was not God's design. And if you need help understanding the dynamic, I'm going to recommend two books. One, the subtle power of spiritual abuse. And two, when narcissism comes to church. Why would I tell you all of this? It's because we live in a highly mobile world, and you may be one day called from CBC to another church. And I just want to tell you be careful. Look beyond the platform. Look beyond the personality. Look for leaders who are actually carrying out the character qualities that Paul is describing here. God's primary qualification for spiritual leadership is not a communicator who has charisma, it's a character who's Christ-like. The qualification is not giftedness, but godliness. So leaders and their character, their reputation in the community, the last one, leaders and their convictions. And then we're talking about the reverence that they have for the word of God. Verse 9, it says, He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction and sound doctrine and also rebuke those who contradict it. So the trustworthy word here in this passage, it means the Bible. Sound doctrine comes from the Bible. So an elder is somebody who holds firm to the Bible and instructs others from the Bible and rebukes those who contradict the Bible. Elders know the Bible doesn't just contain the Word of God, the Bible is the Word of God. Elders know that we don't look at the Bible and judge it. We know that the Bible judges us. So elders here have to believe that the Bible is the inspired and fallible and authoritative Word of God without error in its original writings. So if you're ever voting on someone to be an elder, then you need to find out whether that guy bleeds the Bible or not. Now, why should we get so hot and bothered about the Bible? Why preach the Bible? You know, my former pastor Aidan Rogers used to say, there are two reasons why I preach the Bible. Number one, I'm not smart enough to preach anything else. Number two, I'm too smart to preach anything else. Because God has promised that his word will not return void, it will accomplish the purpose for which it's sent. So when you come to church here, you're gonna hear a message each week from the Bible. Right now we're in the series of messages through Titus. Next week we'll start with verse 10. And we just keep going through passages of scripture. We're gonna do our best to explain them and illustrate them and apply them to our lives. I majored in religious studies at Vanderbilt University way back in the day, in the 70s. None of my professors in the religious studies department had any confidence that this book was true and trustworthy. They did everything they could to rip the Bible away from us. And that might be where some of you are. Quite frankly, you're here on Father's Day, not because you really want to be, but maybe you're just trying to be nice to your dad, and you're going, I don't know that I really do believe the Bible. And to be honest, I don't want an outside me authority. But everybody has an authority that comes from somewhere. Might be your parents, your peers, a teacher, a professor. Some people build their values from ideas in a book or a song or an ideological point of view. Some people trust their feelings, others believe in a lifestyle that they just want to live. Whatever justifies this lifestyle, then that's what I believe. But nobody rejects authority. You've got an authority from somewhere. The tendency that we have is we just want to create our own authority and not use this as our authority. So if I reject the Bible as my authority, I'm simply replacing it with myself. If I say I won't let the Bible tell me what to do or what to believe, I'm really saying I will let me tell me what to do and what to believe. But why should my thoughts and feelings have more authority than God's word? The biggest question really isn't what do I think about the Bible? The biggest question is, what does Jesus think about the Bible? Jesus said this: Scripture cannot be broken. And when he taught, a lot of times he would say, it is written, and refer back to God's word. He rebuked people for not knowing the Bible. So if Jesus is truly who he said he was, and if Jesus truly rose from the grave, and if Jesus believed the Bible is true, then it just makes a lot of sense for me to, I'm gonna believe what he believes. I don't believe the Bible simply because my daddy said I should. I believe the Bible because Jesus, the Lord of life and death, believed the Bible. And I've been a serious student of this book for over 50 years. And I am not finding hidden flaws in here, I'm finding revealed beauty here. And so elders are supposed to hold firm to this book. Elders are supposed to build their lives on this book. For them, God's word is not one voice among many, it's the voice above every other voice. See, culture will change, opinions will change, experts will change, political parties will change. God's word doesn't change. And that's why elders hold it, teach it, and rebuke those who don't. So leaders and their convictions, their reverence for the word of God. Now, why does this matter so much? You know, like Rick, why are you so hot and bothered about this? It's because when dangerous people lead a church, people get hurt. And that's the point of verses 10 and 11. Empty talkers and deceivers step in, families get unsettled, and the church loses its way. And this is important for us to remember in a world like ours, full of podcasts that the algorithm just decides it's going to send you. Influencers and YouTube shorts and all kinds of spiritual advisors out there using religion to gain power and approval and applause. In a world like that, godly elders matter more than ever. If pastors are weak in their calling and careless at home and compromised in their character or shaky in their grip on God's word, the fallout is not just the pastor and his family. It spills over into other marriages and kids and friendships and whole churches. Souls are at stake. Homes are at stake. The witness of the church is at stake. So these qualifications really are not just like boring red tape that just make us yawn and hope the sermon gets over. This is protection for you. It's protection for God's people and God's mission. But what about the elders that have failed? There's a lot of them. You know, I started talking this message by talking about Mark Driscoll, whose Seattle church imploded in 2014. Two years later, he started a brand new church in Phoenix. And as I understand it, that church has about 5,000 in attendance now. But reports recently are saying that four out of 11 key staff members have resigned. And there are rumors of church splits because of old patterns. Abusive, heavy-handed, paranoid, toxic, unaccountable leadership. One of the prayers that I pray as a church leader, I've been praying this for many years, comes from Psalm 69, verse 6. And it says, Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord God of hosts. Let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel. So I pray, Lord, do not let my life bring shame to your name, shame to your church, or shame to my family. See, if anyone thinks he stands, you better take heed lest he fall. But hear this: the failure of Christian leaders does not prove that Christianity is false. It proves that the Bible is right about human nature. The Bible's honest about the leaders in the Bible. Noah got drunk, Abraham lied, Moses lost his temper, David committed adultery, and then murder, Peter denied Christ. The Bible doesn't airbrush its heroes because they're not really the heroes of the story. Jesus is the hero of the story. And maybe you're here today and you're kind of skeptical about the whole church scene. And you've critiqued the church. And I say to that, you are absolutely right. Amen, brother. Because every church is filled with imperfect people like me who fail to live up to what this book says. Who gets it right? I don't get it right all the time. And neither do you. It's why Jesus came to save and forgive sinners like pastors and church members. I mean, think about Beethoven. If a musician sits down at a piano and he plays Beethoven terribly, whose fault is it? Is it Beethoven's fault? A bad performance does not diminish the beauty of the composition. It reveals the weakness of the performer. So when Christian leaders fail, the failure is not with Christ. Because he never abused power, he never manipulated people, he never exploited anyone. Jesus will never disappoint anybody who trusts in him. So don't put your hope in a pastor. Don't put your hope in an elder. Don't put your hope in a father. Put your hope in Jesus. Why? Because he lived the life we could never live, and he died the death that we should have died. He was forsaken by the Father so we could be accepted by the Father. He paid the penalty for our sins so we could be forgiven. And he rose from the grave, he ascended into heaven, and he sent his spirit to live in us so that by the Spirit's power we could actually, in community, live the good life. And so he's inviting us all right now, again and again, turn from your sin and trust in me. And you know, if you've never done that, trusted in Christ so that your life has been radically transformed. Maybe today's your day. We'll have people up front at the end of the service that would love to talk with you about that and pray with you. So I got three challenges as we wrap up today. Thank, pray, and serve. Thank. Thank at least one person today on Father's Day who has been a father figure to you. Who has positively influenced your life. And maybe it is your dad. Could be your mom. Could be a pastor, could be a small group leader, a teacher, a coach, a grandparent. Just today. Take some time. Text them, call them, write them a note, thank. Second, pray. I just want to encourage you to pick a dad in our church today and pray for that dad. And then pray for the elders and pastors of CBC. For at least one of them today. For their character, their families, their shepherding, their teaching. And then pray for yourself. That you'll live up to these qualities that we learned about in Titus. So thank, pray, and then serve. I hope every male in this room will tune in right now. Whether you're a teen or a young adult, unmarried or married, with or without kids. Here's the deal. We need you to be a father figure to somebody. I heard a story this week about a man who didn't have a good father, but he turned out to be a great man anyway. How? He said, four men taught me how to be a man. Not my dad, but my pastor, my scout leader, my school principal, and my coach. So young men and old men and everybody in between, we need you. So share whatever gifts you have. Be a mentor. Be a coach. We need you to be a spiritual father to somebody to help raise up the next generation. So that in 2050 or 2075, this church is still true to this book and our Lord. Thank, pray, and serve. Healthy fathers create healthy homes. Healthy elders create healthy churches. And healthy homes and healthy churches help us discover a life in Jesus Christ that is truly good. Tony's got a few more words that he wants to share with you today, so come on, Tony.