Get It Together, Weirdo

Insane Busyness Isn't Going to Help Us Love Ourselves

• Sarah Bowser, That Weird Nerdy Mom • Episode 3

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How often do you pack your schedule ridiculously full — keeping yourself going to the point of burnout — rather than just sit with your thoughts and learn what it is that you actually enjoy? Do you know that we often fill our schedules to avoid confronting our fears and insecurities? 

In this episode of Get It Together, Weirdo, Sarah explores our societal obsession with busyness and its impact on our well-being. 

As an antidote to burnout and dissatisfaction, Sarah encourages us to slow down, embrace stillness, and redefine productivity to align with our own values and happiness. By experimenting with new perspectives, challenging conventional notions of success, and cultivating self-acceptance, we can live more authentically and find joy in unexpected places.

What you’ll learn in this episode

  • How we use busyness as a distraction from our fears and insecurities.
  • The negative impacts of over-scheduling, including burnout and lack of fulfillment.
  • How to redefine productivity and success beyond societal expectations.
  • Practical advice for discovering unexpected sources of joy and fulfillment, like trying new activities, reevaluating daily routines, and letting go of perfectionism.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode

“In a world where busyness is celebrated like some sort of twisted badge of honor, it's time to take a step back.”

“We use busyness as a shield, a way to avoid dealing with our insecurities and our self-doubt. So let's unpack this a bit. We feel anxious about not doing enough, about not being enough. And then we feel guilty because we can't keep up with everything we've piled onto our plates.”

“When we embrace our true selves without judgment or shame, we open up so many possibilities for growth and happiness. Try experimenting with new perspectives, pick up a new hobby just for fun, or explore a different way of thinking about something.”

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Welcome to Get It Together, Weirdo, the podcast where we dive into ways to help you figure out how you can tackle your to-dos, keep track of your side quests, and manage your time in a way that works for your brain, so you can focus on nerding out on the things that make you do a happy dance. I'm Sarah Bowser, your get-your-shit-together coach and resident weirdo, here to guide you on your journey. So, let's get it together, weirdo.


Hey there, my wonderfully weird friend. Welcome back to another episode of Get It Together, Weirdo. Today, we're going to dive into a topic that might make you squirm a little bit, but don't worry. We're going to get through it together. And I promise that it'll be worth it.

So here's a question for you. How often do you pack your schedule so ridiculously full, keeping yourself going to the point of burnout, rather than just sit with your thoughts and learn what it is that you actually enjoy? 

Yeah, sorry, we're gonna dive deep right off the bat today. 

But seriously, in a world where busyness is celebrated like some sort of twisted badge of honor, it's time to take a step back and ask ourselves, is this relentless pursuit of productivity really supporting us in living our lives in a way where we are actually living? Or is it just another way to keep ourselves distracted so we don't have to face the uncomfortable parts of who we are?

We need to confront this idea, that keeping ourselves insanely busy won't change the fact that we're afraid of embracing who we are. We spend so much of our time being concerned about what other people think of us, or more accurately, what we think other people think of us, especially when it comes to whether we appear to have our shit together or not. And to keep up the illusion, we work ourselves to the brink of burnout, staying busy so that we look productive, and never allowing ourselves to just...be. 

I'm guilty of this. I'm forever tying my worth to what I get done, to what I can do for other people, while putting myself down and not listening to my own brain telling me what I need for myself. I'll take on too many projects, thinking that this next one is going to be the thing that finally makes me feel accomplished or satisfied, but really it's just a distraction. It keeps me from sitting with my thoughts or tackling something that I really want to do, but may be too scared to try.

I remember so many times when I took on way too many things at once. I'm running my business. I'm working full-time. I'm managing my kids' schedules in their school lives. I'm getting my master's degree. I'm trying to pass all four CPA exams and about a million more personal projects that I've committed to because, you know, why not? 

And there I was, drowning in to-dos, feeling like a total failure because I couldn't keep up. I was terrified of slowing down, of facing the fear that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't actually the person I thought I was or thought I wanted to be. Or worse, that I was never going to be that person. 

Sound familiar? Yeah, I kind of figured. 

So our society glorifies busyness. If you're not hustling, if you're not constantly on the go, then you must be lazy, right? That's what we're told. But this obsession with being busy is just masking the deeper fear we have of not measuring up, of not being enough. We use busyness as a shield, a way to avoid dealing with our insecurities and our self-doubt. 

So let's unpack this a bit. 

We feel anxious about not doing enough, about not being enough. And then we feel guilty because we can't keep up with everything we've piled onto our plates. We tell ourselves, if I can just get through this week, this project, this phase, then I'll be okay. But there's always something else waiting for us behind the scenes, right? It's never just getting through this week or this project. 

And beyond the stress of societal expectations and the fear of what others think of us, the root cause of this anxiety often comes from our fear of being alone with our own thoughts. Because what happens when we stop, when we're no longer distracted by the million things we have to do?

We're left alone with ourselves, with our thoughts, and that can be terrifying. We're afraid of what we might find if we really take a look at who we are, at what we want, what we're actually doing with our lives. You might not want to hear it because it leads to so much discomfort, but confronting those fears will allow us to really start living authentically. And that means that we need to embrace stillness, we need to embrace quiet time, and we need to create space to actually allow our thoughts to come through and for us to pay attention to them. 

I know it's scary, and I'm not saying you have to dive into it all at once, but taking a little time to slow down, to really sit with your thoughts, even if it's just for a few minutes a day, can make a huge difference.

But how can we embrace stillness and still be productive? Well, let's redefine what productivity means. It isn't just about how much you get done or how many items you check off your to-do list. It's about creating a life that aligns with your values, that makes you feel fulfilled and at peace. It's about doing things that matter to you, not just the things you think you should be doing. 

So I want you to try something this week. Just take a few minutes each day to slow down. You don't have to do anything special. Just sit, breathe, let your mind wander.

Notice what comes up. Maybe it's a fear you've been avoiding, or maybe it's a realization about what truly makes you happy. Maybe it's the thought that “Oh, maybe I really should get myself into therapy,” or maybe “I should try to have this conversation with this person,” or maybe “I don't want to be going to school for this thing or that thing,” or maybe it's “You know what, I do want to read that damn book series that everyone one would judge me for reading — who cares?” 

Whatever it is, let it be. Don't judge it. Don't try to fix it. Just be with it. 

And while you're at it, start challenging the conventional notions of productivity that have been drilled into our brains for years on end.

What does success look like for you personally? Not what you've been told it should look like. What truly feels right for you? And maybe success means having more time to spend with your family. Or finally getting around to that creative project you've been putting off. Or, I don't know, doing your third read-through of Hitchhiker's Guide. Whatever it is, it's valid. 

And as you go through this process, remember to cultivate a bit of self-acceptance. Try letting go of some of your perfectionism. It's okay to be messy. It's okay to be unsure. It's okay to not have it all figured out. It's okay to be you, just as you are. 

When we embrace our true selves without judgment or shame, we open up so many possibilities for growth and happiness. 

Try experimenting with new perspectives, pick up a new hobby just for fun, or explore a different way of thinking about something. Ditch something completely off of your to-do list that brings you absolutely no satisfaction, and that won't have drastic consequences for your day-to-day life. This isn't about adding more to your plate or stressing you out. It's about learning to find joy and fulfillment in unexpected places. Who knows, you might discover something that lights you up in a way that you never expected.

So here's your next task for this next week or so. Try out a couple things, a couple new things, to see what lights you up. Start experimenting with small changes in your daily routine or your organization methods. Start rewiring your thoughts about what productivity really means for you. 

Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all solution. It's time for us to break free from society's cookie-cutter expectations and figure out what works for you, weirdness and all. 

If you want to stay in the loop on new episodes, posts, and other tidbits I share, hop on my email list or join us for weekly co-working on Mondays. I'd love to have you in the community.


Thanks so much for listening today. You can find complete show notes, links to resources mentioned, as well as a link to our co-working community on our website, thatweirdnerdymom.com. Be sure to leave a rating or review and check me out on Instagram at that_weirdnerdymom. Feel free to shoot me a DM — I'd love to hear from you. 

Until next time, my wonderful weirdo, you've got this. Bring out your weird.