Get It Together, Weirdo

Embracing Our Rough Edges

• Sarah Bowser, That Weird Nerdy Mom • Episode 6

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Are you the type of person who laminates everything? You complete a project or save an award, then pull out your lamination machine to protect it? Are you just hiding your accomplishments behind a protective sheen of perfectionism, of people pleasing? 

In this episode of Get It Together, Weirdo, Sarah shares her story of laminating her accomplishments — and personality. From the first time she was called “teacher's pet” in childhood, Sarah feared not living up to expectations and hid behind perfectionism and people-pleasing. At school and in workplaces, her perfectionism was mocked and misunderstood, reinforcing her protective habits. Over time, Sarah recognized the need to challenge these habits and work towards accepting her true self with all its imperfections.

Sarah’s story serves as an encouragement for others who are covering themselves in a protective film to embrace their rough edges and move away from the constraints of perfectionism.

What you’ll learn in this episode

  • The need to challenge protective habits and work towards self-acceptance.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode

“It's okay not to laminate every little thing about myself. It's okay to have rough edges.”

“I needed to bury who I truly was, hide it within a protective sheet of plastic to keep myself safe. I stuck so much of this plastic covering on my personality that I struggled to see who I was.”

“Mindset work is never simple, and it takes a lot to break through the limiting thoughts, beliefs, and fears that we have about ourselves. I'm working on being aware and cognizant of when I start to lean back into people-pleasing and perfectionism.”

Join the Get It Together, Weirdo community

Welcome to Get It Together, Weirdo, the podcast where we dive into ways to help you figure out how you can tackle your to-dos, keep track of your side quests, and manage your time in a way that works for your brain, so you can focus on nerding out on the things that make you do a happy dance. I'm Sarah Bowser, your get-your-shit-together coach and resident weirdo, here to guide you on your journey. So, let's get it together, weirdo.

Hello, my lovely weirdo. We have a little bit of a different episode coming to you today. This is going to be more of a story for you and just kind of something to make you think, I guess. So here we go.

Are you the type of person who laminates everything? You complete a project, you save a piece of your child's artwork or school work, save an award, then you pull out your lamination machine — because we're fancy like that — and you cover your accomplishments in a protective film. Now it's nice and safe and neat, and it can be displayed with minimal risk of it being destroyed. 

But is it really safe? Or are we just hiding our accomplishments behind a protective sheen of perfectionism, of people pleasing and solidifying our role as the teacher's pet? 

This has been me for nearly all of my life. I was branded as the teacher's pet very early on in my school years. It became ingrained in my identity, in my personality, from the first days of elementary school. I was terrified of not doing what the teacher said to do, of not following the rules, of doing anything other than staying quiet and being the good kid. 

Throughout grade school and high school, I was the stereotypical “pleasure to have in class.” I got straight As. The teachers loved me. I was always handing in assignments early, and I was consistently mocked by certain kids, or they would roll their eyes at me when I would present projects or we would get quiz or test grades back. 

Elementary and middle school were brutal for me in these respects, but it took on a whole new meaning and a whole new level at the beginning of my high school career. 

At the beginning of freshman year, we were assigned a typical icebreaker-style assignment in health class, and for once, it was actually one that I was excited about. Little did I know, this assignment, this moment, was the first smack in the face that I wasn't really seen for who I truly was. 

So we had to put together a collage that represented who we were — our likes, our interests, our hobbies, all that jazz. Then once they were handed in, our teacher would present them for us, which for me was the dream because I hated public speaking, I hated presenting in front of the class. So the fact that the teacher was going to present them for us was amazing. And we wouldn't know whose collage belonged to who. That was the whole point of the assignment. Based on the pictures and the words on the cardstock, we would match the personality represented by the cut and glued magazine images to the student who put them together. 

I put a lot of thought and time into my collage of what each picture represented for me. I was so excited for my classmates to see my interests, my hobbies, everything that spoke to my soul. I wanted it to be perfect. So I laminated it.

When it came time for our teacher to present my collage, one of my classmates took one look at it and said with obvious amusement and snark, “Oh, that's obvious. It's laminated, so it must be Sarah's.” My heart sank, as all of my classmates agreed, because there was no mention at all of the pictures that I had so very carefully selected. Even when the teacher tried half-heartedly to point some out, the rest of the class had already moved on. No one saw my personality, no one saw who I was. they only saw that it was laminated. 

And that became the theme of my life for many years to come. 

As I continued through my teenage years, my young adulthood into motherhood and a professional career, the lamination continued. In college, there was one class I attended in a hybrid fashion in order to take two courses at the same time because, of course, I'm a Little Miss Overachiever so I would try to take two classes at the same time. And when I showed up to this one particular class in person towards the end of the semester for the first time, one of my classmates walked in and said, “Oh man, you're in this class?” I sank into my chair and buried myself further into work because that's embarrassing.

As I went along in my career post-college, I would be mocked by my coworkers during the annual Christmas party trivia game, because I would know the answer to the questions. And I would get excited about answering the question or competitive with each new question. So it led to a lot of mocking and just jokes and my managers would laugh at me for being excited about nerdy topics or TV shows or movies. I still remember this one time where a manager asked me about who the actor was in Sherlock. And I very excitedly answered “Benedict Cumberbatch” because he's fantastic and Sherlock is such a great show. And I just remember him laughing at my excitement — because I was so excited — and all he said was, “That was the reaction I was looking for.” And then him and a co-worker just laughed it up.

And it was difficult for me because it was — it's exhausting and it's embarrassing and it just makes you want to bury yourself further into being perfect. 

And to make up for all of these failings that I was perceiving I continued to be the teacher's pet with my managers. I would jump on extra assignments or directives or requests, even when I was drained, overwhelmed, and burned out. And all of these experiences reinforced in me the belief that I needed to laminate absolutely everything. I needed to bury who I truly was, hide it within a protective sheet of plastic to keep myself safe. 

I stuck so much of this plastic covering on my personality that I struggled to see who I was for myself. And it took many years to finally see that it's okay not to laminate every little thing about myself. It's okay to have rough edges. And, while I still have those urges to laminate every project, every success, every story, I am doing the slow but steady mindset work to break my perfectionist, self-hiding habits.

It's not easy, and it's been slow going. Mindset work is never simple, and it takes a lot to break through the limiting thoughts and beliefs and fears that we have about ourselves. I'm working on being aware and cognizant of when I start to lean back into people pleasing and perfectionism. 

And this is easier said than done for sure, especially when the people-pleasing mode has been our comfort zone for so long. But even if we're reflecting after the fact, we can take those reflections and lessons to put into practice in the future. And that's the key, practice. I'm practicing getting comfortable with sharing my interests without so much of a filter, being okay with the rough draft of sharing. And learning who it is safe and comfortable to be myself with and who may not truly be my people. 

And as I continue this practice, as I continue to learn to trust my gut instincts to be okay with who I am and what my interests are, it slowly becomes more comfortable to let those edges curl up and tear or change. I'm embracing my own rough edges. How can you start to embrace your rough edges?

Ultimately, we need to find the confidence to show who we really are without fear of the rough edges, without fear of the potential for some messiness, the possibility of being seen as a rough draft. We need to learn how to take baby steps to feel safe without our protective plastic coating. We can't hide behind perfectionism and people pleasing forever without becoming burnt out, jaded, overwhelmed, and anxiety-ridden.

So let's slowly start to peel back the laminate, allow our edges to curl, to bend, maybe to tear slightly. But ultimately, let's allow ourselves to breathe freely and be ourselves. What has your life, your personality, looked like up until now? Have you laminated it? How can you embrace the rough edges, the rough draft? 

If you're struggling to feel safe and embracing those edges, come join us for coworking on Mondays. We are a community of weird, nerdy, recovering perfectionists and people pleasers and we have time to sit and share in addition to our co-working time where we can share our struggles and learn how to embrace our rough edges in a safe, non-judgmental space. I hope to see you there.


Thanks so much for listening today. You can find complete show notes, links to resources mentioned, as well as a link to our co-working community on our website, thatweirdnerdymom.com. Be sure to leave a rating or review and check me out on Instagram at that_weirdnerdymom. Feel free to shoot me a DM — I'd love to hear from you. 

Until next time, my wonderful weirdo, you've got this. Bring out your weird.