Get It Together, Weirdo

The Routine Experiment: How to Find Routines That Work For You

• Sarah Bowser, That Weird Nerdy Mom • Episode 14

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You know the habits and schedules that we put in place because we think they're gonna help? Because we were told this would be game-changing? But, instead, they make us feel stuck, frustrated, and angry when they turn into rigid, soul-sucking, monotonous must-dos? 

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t have to be this way. Routines can actually work for you instead of against you.

In this episode of Get It Together, Weirdo, host and coach Sarah Bowser chats about the routines that make our brains go blah because they don't work the way we need them to or thought they would. She encourages you to experiment with your routine so that it serves you instead of driving you up a wall. 

So if your current routine makes you want to throw your planner across the room—or if you're avoiding even having a routine because the thought of having a planner to keep up with your routine is making your brain short-circuity—stick around. Sarah is gonna figure out how to make this work for you. 

If you want to stay in the loop on new episodes, posts, and other tidbits that Sarah shares, go to thatweirdnerdymom.com to hop on her email list, or join her for weekly coworking on Mondays.

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

  • That frustration and monotony can arise from rigid routines that don't serve your needs 
  • The importance of aligning routines with your values to ensure they’re fulfilling and sustainable 
  • How to experiment with routines, starting with small changes, to find that sweet spot between structure and flexibility 
  • To embrace progress in your experiments to create routines that serve you better and foster personal growth and productivity—without the constraints of perfectionism 
  • That your routine should be flexible and adaptable enough that it can grow and evolve as your needs and values do 

Noteworthy quotes from this episode: 

“ It took me a long time to realize that my obsession with structure wasn't serving me. It wasn't helping me feel in control. It was just another form of  fear and shame masquerading as productivity.” 

“A lot of the time we set up routines based on what we think we're supposed to do, what we've seen other people do, what books and TV shows and infomercials and influencers tell us is the right way. But if those routines don't align with our values, they're not going to work long-term.” 

“ We can really start to make some magic and change the way our brain thinks and reacts when we give ourselves permission to play with our routine instead of feeling chained to it.” 

“If your values grow and evolve throughout the days, months, and years, grow and evolve your routine to match that evolution.”

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Episode 14. The Routine Experiment: How to Find Routines That Work For You

Welcome to Get It Together Weirdo, the podcast where we dive into ways to help you figure out how you can tackle your to-dos, keep track of your side quests, and manage your time in a way that works for your brain so you can focus on nerding out on the things that make you do a happy dance. I'm Sarah Bowser, your get your shit together coach and resident weirdo here to guide you on your journey. So let's get it together, weirdo.

Well, hey there, my wonderfully weird friend. Welcome back to another episode of Get It Together Weirdo. The place where we throw perfectionism out the window and embrace systems that actually work for our chaotic brains. Today, we're gonna chat about something that might hit a little too close to home: routines. Specifically, the routines that make you want to smash things.

You know, the habits and schedules that we put in place because we think they're going to help, but instead, they make us feel stuck, frustrated, or even angry. When they don't work the way we need them to, they turn into these monotonous, boring must-dos that we have to check off our list for today because, well, we were told this would be game-changing. But we're over here just struggling to keep our brains from rotting out with the tasks that make our brains go bleh.

Spoiler alert: routines don't have to be rigid, soul-sucking, or monotonous. They can actually work for you instead of against you. And today, we're going to explore exactly how you can start experimenting with your routine so that it serves you instead of driving you up a wall. So if your current routine makes you want to throw your planner across the room, or if you're avoiding even having a routine because the thought of having a planner to also have to keep up with is making your brain short circuit, just stick around. We're going to figure out how to make this work for you.

Now, I will admit that there was a time not so long ago when I needed my routine to be perfect. Like, perfect perfect. It wasn't just a guideline for my day. It was the law. Every step, every detail had to happen exactly the way I had planned it in my head, or else I felt like everything was ruined. And it was exhausting. Not just for me, but for the people around me.

It took me a long time to realize that my obsession with structure wasn't actually serving me. It wasn't helping me feel in control. It was just another form of fear and shame masquerading as productivity. And once I started letting myself experiment with my routines, instead of treating them like unbreakable rules, everything changed.

Routines can be amazing. They can help give us structure and stability, helping our chaotic brains manage all the things that we have to do. I still love me a routine. But at the same time, they can also become a soul-sucking vortex of monotony. Have you ever gotten to a point where your routine just feels boring? Like you're still doing it, but you don't actually care anymore, you're just going through the motions. That's when you know your routine has stopped serving you.

We need to find that sweet spot between structure and flexibility. Between a routine that gives you comfort and one that doesn't trap you in a cycle of mindless repetition. So think about your current routine. What parts of it are actually working for you? What parts have you already given up on? What parts are you still doing but you kinda sorta hate? Here's where the fun begins. You don't have to stick with a routine just because it's there. Again, you're allowed to experiment.

I know that changing up your routine can feel a bit unsettling, even scary. And that's totally valid and okay. If you're feeling anxious about trying something new, take a step back and ask yourself, where is the anxiety coming from? Am I afraid of change itself? Or is there a deeper reason? Sometimes we hold onto routines that don't serve us just because they feel safe. But let me help you breathe and recognize that even with these past experiences, it's okay to change things up.

One thing that really helped shift my mindset about routines was identifying my core values. Often, we set up routines based on what we think we're supposed to do, what we've seen other people do, what books and TV shows and infomercials and influencers tell us is the right way. But if those routines don't actually align with our values, they're not going to work long term. So take a minute and think. What are your actual values? What is most important to you? Does your current routine reflect those values? Or has it just become an obligation that you feel like you can't say no to?

When your routine matches your values, it becomes a lot easier to stick with it because you're living in alignment and you're letting your brain know that you listen and value yourself. And most importantly, it actually feels good. So now that we've talked about why your routine might not be working, let's get into how you can start experimenting with it.

1. Map it out: Take five minutes to jot down your current routine. What are the steps? What's the outcome you're getting or telling yourself you should be getting?

2. Identify problem areas: What parts of your routine are making you miserable? Which ones feel meh? Where is the monotony and rigidness?

3. Prioritize changes: Pick one thing to tweak. Just one. If we try to overhaul your entire routine at once, we'll be setting the stage for a mental disaster.

4. Test the change: Give yourself and your tweaked routine a trial run for a week or two. Evaluate that experiment and see how it went. Did the change make things better or worse? What surprised you about that change?

5. Refine and adapt: If it worked, great. If not, tweak it again. The goal isn't perfection, it's progress. Your routines should grow and evolve with you. So if something stops working, change it. If something feels off, tweak it. If something feels great, keep doing it. The key is to stay flexible and keep experimenting.

Here's your start to your routine experiment today. Pick one small change, test it for a week or two, and see how it feels. Remember, the goal is progress, not perfection. Embrace the flexibility to adapt and evolve your routines as your values and needs change. And don't forget to share your experience. Drop a comment, leave a review, shoot me a DM, or pop in for coworking to let us know what your biggest light bulb moment was for your new routine.

Thanks so much for listening today. You can find complete show notes, links to resources mentioned, as well as a link to our coworking community on our website at weirdnerdymom.com. Be sure to leave a rating or review and check me out on Instagram @weirdnerdymom. Feel free to shoot me a DM. I'd love to hear from you. Until next time, my wonderful weirdo, you've got this. Bring out your weird.