Get It Together, Weirdo

Ditch the Guilt: Strategies for Getting Your Shit Together

• Sarah Bowser, That Weird Nerdy Mom • Episode 20

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So often we think that getting our shit together should be simple. You just need to buckle down and get it done. You make a start, make a little progress, but then you start to feel overwhelmed, and that sneaky little voice in the back of your head chimes in: “Everyone else has it together. Why can't I figure this out? What's wrong with me?”

Sound familiar?

Guilt is one of the biggest roadblocks we face when we're trying to get our shit together. It’s like that annoying house guest who overstays their welcome. 

But we don't have to let guilt take over. In this episode of Get It Together, Weirdo, host and coach Sarah Bowser talks about how internalized pressure and unrealistic societal expectations can hinder our personal growth and well-being. She dives into how guilt sneaks into our lives, how we can start rewriting the story we tell ourselves, and how we can  let go of the guilt and pressure to be perfect. It's about finding balance, embracing your quirks, and focusing on what truly matters to you. 

Want to stay in the loop on new episodes, posts, and other tidbits that Sarah shares? Go to thatweirdnerdymom.com to hop on her email list, or join her for weekly coworking on Mondays. 

What you’ll learn in this episode: 

  • Aligning your actions with your core values is a way to reduce guilt and focus on what truly matters. 
  • Self-compassion is a powerful tool for growth and healing, allowing you to learn from your mistakes without harsh self-criticism. 
  • Strategies for managing feelings of overwhelm include prioritizing tasks, delegating, and prioritizing self-care. 
  • Vulnerability and asking for help are strengths, enabling deeper connections and greater self-awareness. 
  • Practical tools like brain dumps can help you organize your thoughts and prioritize tasks effectively. 

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:  
“Nobody is perfect. And trying to meet expectations of perfection only sets us up for anxiety and guilt.” 

“What if we embraced the idea that imperfections are just part of being human? Once we start embracing imperfection, we can begin rewriting the inner narrative that fuels our guilt.” 

 ”When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open the door to deeper connections and greater self-awareness. Sometimes that means being okay with questioning yourself. What do I really want? What's working for me and what's not?” 

“Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength.” 

“Cultivating self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools we have for growth and healing.” 


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Welcome to Get it Together, Weirdo, the podcast where we dive into ways to help you figure out how you can tackle your to-dos, keep track of your side quests, and manage your time in a way that works for your brain so you can focus on nerding out on the things that make you do a happy dance. I'm Sarah Bowser, your get your shit together coach and resident weirdo here to guide you on your journey. So let's get it together, weirdo.

Hey there, my wonderfully weird friend. Welcome back to another episode of Get it Together Weirdo, where we embrace the chaos, throw out societal nonsense, and figure out how to get our lives together in a way that works for, you know, us.

Today we're going to talk about guilt. How is it showing up for you when you're trying to keep it all together? Because, quite frankly, guilt is like that annoying house guest that overstays their welcome. It's one of the biggest roadblocks we face when we're trying to get our shit together. But we don't have to let guilt take over. So today we're going to talk about kicking it out the door, or at least keeping it from running the show.

We'll dive into how guilt sneaks into our lives, how we can start rewriting the story we tell ourselves, and how we can focus on what really matters. So often we think that getting my shit together should be simple. I just need to buckle down and get it done. You make a start, even make a little progress. But then you run into a roadblock. You begin to feel overwhelmed. And then there it is, the sneaky little voice in the back of your head saying, why can't you figure this out? Everyone else has it together. What's wrong with you? Sound familiar?

For me, guilt would show up in the form of this constant nagging fear that I wasn't doing enough. Not for my family, not for my work, not even for myself. And no matter how hard I tried, it felt like I was always coming up short. The guilt became this heavy, invisible weight that sabotaged my best attempts to move forward.

Here's the good news. You don't have to live with this guilt forever. By identifying and working through the guilt, understanding your own values and embracing imperfection, you can start to create systems and habits that actually work for your brain and let go of the guilt and pressure to be perfect.

Let's start by unmasking the anxiety, shame, and guilt that keeps us stuck. These emotions can be incredibly debilitating, and they often stem from a mix of societal expectations and our own internalized pressure. Society often tells us we need to be perfect. The perfect parent, the perfect partner, the perfect employee. And when we fall short of those impossible standards, we feel like failures. But those standards aren't realistic or human-friendly. Nobody is perfect. And trying to meet expectations of perfection only sets us up for anxiety and guilt.

So the first step to letting go is recognizing where those feelings are coming from and challenging them. What if instead of trying to be perfect, we prioritized self-care and mental well-being? What if we embraced the idea that imperfections are not failures, they're just part of being human? Once we start embracing imperfection, we can begin rewriting the inner narrative that fuels our guilt. That negative self-talk, the voice that tells you you're not good enough or that you're failing. That voice isn't helping. That inner narrative isn't helping.

Cultivating self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools we have for growth and healing. It's about being kind to yourself even when things don't go as planned. When you make a mistake or fall short, instead of beating yourself up, try asking, what can I learn from this? How can I move forward in a way that feels good for me?

Another key piece is aligning your actions with your core values. Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you. What do you want your life to look like? What lights you up? When your actions align with your values, it's easier to let go of the guilt because you know you're focusing on what's really important to you.

Now let's talk about vulnerability. Because being vulnerable can feel scary. But it's also one of the most powerful tools for personal growth. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open the door to deeper connections and greater self-awareness. Sometimes that means being okay with questioning yourself. What do I really want? What's working for me and what's not? And sometimes it means asking others for help or guidance. This can feel daunting, especially if you're used to trying to do everything on your own. But as I'm sure we've all heard many a time, asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength.

Of course, all of this can feel overwhelming if your mind is already spinning with to-dos and worries. So what are some strategies we can use to manage that overwhelm? One of my favorite techniques is a good old-fashioned brain dump. Grabbing a piece of paper, opening a note on your phone, and just writing down everything that's on your mind. Not making it neat or organized. Just getting it out there. This simple exercise can help you see what's really going on up there in your brain and make it easier to prioritize.

Then it's important to identify your non-negotiables, what absolutely needs to get done, what can be delegated, postponed, deleted even. Give yourself permission to let go of the things that aren't truly essential for you. And don't forget to throw in some form of self-care that feels best for you, because those small moments of calm can make a big difference when you're feeling overwhelmed.

So how do we figure out how to actually get our shit together? We start by identifying where we're struggling the most. Is it at home? At work? With personal projects? Once you've narrowed in on your pain points, you can start experimenting with tools and systems that might help. Remember, this isn't about finding the perfect system, it's about finding what works for you. Maybe you take bits and pieces from different tools and mash them together into something that feels good for your brain. Or maybe you try a completely unconventional approach. The key is to stay curious and flexible.

At the end of the day, getting your shit together isn't about being perfect. It's about finding balance, embracing your quirks, and focusing on what truly matters to you. Guilt might still pop up from time to time. That's normal. But when it does, remind yourself that you're doing the best you can. And that's enough.

Thanks so much for listening today. You can find complete show notes, links to resources mentioned, as well as a link to our co-working community on our website at thatweirdnerdymom.com. Be sure to leave a rating or review and check me out on Instagram at @that_weirdnerdymom. Feel free to shoot me a DM. I'd love to hear from you. Until next time, my wonderful weirdo. You've got this. Bring out your weird.