Very well. I think you'll address including the boiling frog. Please join us every Friday at 5 p.m. And let's start turning stress into strength together. And let's start into today's episode.
SPEAKER_00Hello, friends. We have been speaking about the boiling frog analogy. To revise, if you throw a frog into hot water, it immediately jumps out. But if you to throw a frog, if you throw a frog into cold water and slowly increase the temperature, the frog keeps adapting till the time it is no longer able to adopt, adapt, and and is fright is and its fright to death. Similarly, chronic stress, which can go under our radar, people can keep adapting or maladapting to it till the time they suffer with chronic physical or mental health illness. In the boiling frog analogy, I share techniques that how you can be aware of the heat, how the frog can have a thicker skin, be resilient, or how the frog can temper down the temperature of the environment. Or does it even belong to the right waters? Because a desert frog will never survive if it is a rainforest frog. So today we have got the author of the book Resilient. Jason Allen Border, who is an executive coach, he's a keynote speaker, CEO of the Belmont Company, and author of the book Resilient. Please help me welcome Jason Allen Border from San Diego, California.
unknownThank you.
SPEAKER_00Jason, you're very welcome.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I've been looking forward to this conversation for some time. And and I want your listeners to know we did this differently. Ash said no to a standard guest spot. He wanted us to actually read each other's books. Uh so for the last month, he's been making notes in mine, and I've been in his most mornings. And this conversation is what came out of that. And honestly, more people should do it this way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the reason is when I read the book Resilient, really, it is a great book, and I'm going to uh we are going to speak about the about the book as we go through the podcast. But what I found was so complimentary in the book with the boiling frog that the exactly how to do it was much more detailed in this book. But how do you actually practice the framework? How do you measure it on a day-to-day uh basis and regulate yourself? But I'm not going to uh spoil the surprise. We are in for a really inspiring conversation. Uh and Jason, I would love for you to start sharing with us what was your journey of the resilient.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so I appreciate you sort of grounding us in that. For most of my career, I was the guy who could carry anything. Then I performed the trifecta that most people avoid for a reason. I had left my W-2, I had started a new business while I had a newborn at home, while raising a toddler, and all with zero income. And I'll never forget, on my first call with my first coach, I I told him as much, and he looked at me and smiled gently and said, you know, most people they choose just one of those. But at the time, I didn't call it collapse. I called it ambition. I called it hustle. I called it drive. And on the outside, I was executing. Deals were moving, the calendar was full, ambition was high. But on the inside, I was completely braced. I'd wake up every morning, already exhausted, chest tight over whatever was on my phone, bad or good. Just on repeat, do I have enough runway? What if I can't fix it this time? What if I'm building this wrong? I was calling the adrenaline drive, I was calling the tension discipline, but it wasn't discipline. It was survival. And survival mode is the most expensive state a high performer can live in. Your vision narrows, time compresses, everything feels heavy, it all feels urgent, you lose range, and when everything feels hard, your mind doesn't say, Oh, my nervous system is dysregulated. It says, maybe I'm not enough. And that's the real cost, not just the fatigue, the identity distortion. And then came the breaking point. And it wasn't a dramatic collapse. It was gradual. Because that's how chronic unresolved pressure behaves. It's like rust just accumulates over time until you're frozen. And for me, I was at my laptop, my cursor was blinking, my chest was tight, grinding my teeth, and I was rereading an email for the fourth time, wondering if it was too long. And then it surfaced. A small voice with a quiet truth that I had been avoiding. The problem is you. Not your calendar, not your circumstances, not the season of life you're in. You. Your avoidance loops, your constant bracing, your insistence that rest has to be earned. And it was the hardest truth I'd ever confronted. But that blade had two edges. If the problem is you, the solution is also you. And at that point, back on that call with my coach, I was telling him as much. And he said something that changed everything. He said, You don't have a capability problem. You have a capacity problem. Because your nervous system is your operating system. And adrenaline doesn't scale. And from that moment forth, my life split into two eras. Before and after regulation. And what I learned the hard way is you can't think your way calm. You can't white-knuckle biology. And you cannot outrun the nervous system you're living inside. And everything I've built since starts there. And that's exactly why your book grabbed me the way it did.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, Jason. So what you are describing is a is a kind of a very catabolic in medicine. And if I see your book here, is a symbol of the battery, and is it reasonable to say that you are uh you are charging a battery and the battery charges. You put uh the battery charger in a plug and then you rechargeable batteries, you put them, put into the plug. But these batteries have become dysfunctional, is that they are not fully fully charging. Or the other analogy might be when the phones become old, they run off the charge where they drop the charge very, very fast. So is it reasonable to describe the state you were just describing that either the batteries have become fully dysfunctional or they are quickly dropping the charge? Because uh I know one of the things you talk about resilience, which we will discuss later, is the rhythmic adaptability.
SPEAKER_01Right, right.
SPEAKER_00So anything you would like to say that because we have got listeners from all over the world now, almost 60 countries, and I try to simplify things uh for all even the common uh even for the common listeners.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. And and you nailed it, right? That's the pattern. We have been conditioned to forget about the engine that powers everything beneath us, between everything we want to do and all we want to be, and our batteries find themselves in a state of depletion because we get to a point where we forget about the rhythm that makes them run.
SPEAKER_00Yes. So when you wrote the book Resilient, what was it from your own life, if you don't mind it sharing, that was kind of making you difficult to recharge yourself? Because I'll say I'll I'll continue this question because Jason, I see a lot of patients in my practice and clients who are in these situations. Either it if it is a work situation, it's a toxic work situation where they are always on a discharge mode at work, or if they are at home, they are in a situation of a difficult family life or an unhappy life where they are not able to recharge. And when that happens, you are only one human being. So if I am Dr. Ash, whether I go to work, I am the same Dr. Ash, I'm the same Dr. Ash at home. So what was what when you wrote this book and you've shared this earlier with us? That what was situations in your life which were preventing you from recharging and coming back to your normal, normal state?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And and it was me, it was everything that I wanted to do, and all I wanted to be, and above that, a layer of expectations, of insistence on the way things were supposed to be, the way things had to be, and at that point, in no version or vision of my life had I considered the idea that rhythm was such a critical component to it all. I mean, there's a line in your book that stopped me cold, um, Drummond, telling you that that burnout means you've been too strong for too long. Yeah. And my version of that is your performance ceiling can never rise higher than your recovery floor. It's the same law, different words, different visual behind it. The strongest people break exactly because they're strong. You see, most people think discipline is willpower. Push harder, wake up earlier, grind longer, override, things calm down next week, then I'll give myself permission to rest. But that's a mirage. And that model, in and of itself, burns people out, especially high performers who are naturally predispositioned to push to achieve. So what I built in resilient across the 12-month Odyssey that started with the blade is something different. It's not about forcing performance, it's about engineering it. Resilient is a regulation first approach to performance. It integrates neuroscience, stress physiology, systems theory, flow psychology, somatic and energetic modalities into one governing principle. And that is resilience is not resistance to stress, it's rhythmic adaptability. You see, your body is a waveform. Performance is the crest, but the crest only exists because the trough exists. And if you can't return, you can't rise. Every biological system oscillates. Your heartbeat, your hormones, your brain waves, your breath. Performance follows that same law. Recovery, resilience, performance, and return. Trough is regulation, crest is performance. And the depth of the trough determines the height of the crest. Your performance ceiling is set by your recovery floor. And if the trough disappears, the wave shortens. And when the wave shortens, the system compresses. And when the system compresses, your perception narrows. You lose range, the mind shifts into a survival state. That narrowing is what we experience as overwhelm. But overwhelm is is not weakness, it's not a character flaw, um, which I thought it was for ever so long. It's a product of mechanics. It is simply shortened oscillation. And of course, when the wave flatlines, that's that's burnout, that's loss of oscillation.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely awesome explanation. I've never heard that kind of explanation, but whilst uh you've shared with me and I read it, it was uh it was uh very, very revealing. And uh we see this in nature that everything follows a wave form, every animal rests. Sometimes they have resting periods for days, for months, and all is also very dependent on the nature of the animal. You can't compare uh a koala koala beer in Australia who is resting all the time with a tiger or a cheetah who has to hunt and then having more intense periods of rest. So to have that crest, the height of the height of the crest, the performance and the trough, which is uh the regulation. And what you shared earlier, Jason, that when you reflected about the blade, that the problem is always us. The problems is always us, and therefore the solutions would always be us. It's very simple, right? It's common sense, but common sense is not always common practice, and it's not common practice because it is outside, first of all, it's outside the level of awareness, and even if there is awareness, if your waves are almost very, very narrow and you're coming flat and you're burnt out, you do not have the bandwidth to execute with your pre-frontal cortex. Yeah, so understanding our own patterns, what is making us be become a human doing, doing, doing rather than becoming a human being, is the most important thing to understand. That rest and recovery is not optional, it is the regulation, it is the trough, and that is what will be providing one the crest, which is what Jason communicates as peak performance on demand. So that is a really very simple way in physics, and also it is rooted in the nature that uh it is so obvious, but it is not very common. Now, the challenging situation, Jason, here is that you know, life keeps happening and people are in all kinds of situations in life, and sometimes to come out of that kind of a situation is not always that easy. Suppose somebody is in a rocky relationship or a difficult work environment, and they are struggling with their troughs, with their struggling with their recovery, or because uh uh they are not able to sleep well. What would you tell them that what would be uh their starting point?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, and I I love that you asked that because, you know, like myself, you you come to find that the pressure will remain. And we back to the idea of the problem is you, we often find ourselves looking for ways to alleviate the pressure, and the counterintuitive teaching that I learned is that it's about operating within the pressure, to to the analogy of your book, operating within the boiling water, and what you begin to understand is how you can change your relationship to it when you can't change it because the whole concept of the problem is you is consistently one that most folks find most difficult to hear, let alone say. But it is designed to return agency to you, to the things that you're so proud of and the character attributes that you love. Because if the problem was out there, you'd be stuck, right? You'd have to wait for things to change out there. So what we do is is different. Um and actually, it's something you can begin to return yourself to in as as little as 90 seconds. And uh, I'd love to do that just for your listeners right now. Me and everyone listening.
SPEAKER_00Sure, please do that.
SPEAKER_03We're gonna start by softening our eyes. Widen your peretothoral vision. Press your thumbnail into the pad of your middle finger and lengthen your exhale slightly until you feel your feet in your shoes. Now place one hand lightly on your solar plex. That's the spot just above your belly and beneath your sternum, the place where you would say, Oh uh, I felt my stomach sink. That's uh one of the uh energetic epicenters for us. And then place the other on your lower ribs. And now don't change your breathing yet. First, just just notice it. Is it high? Is it fast? Is it shallow? Okay. Now we're gonna inhale four through our nose. Hold for two. One two. And release for six. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Now we're gonna inhale again, but keep your eyes open to that operating within the pressure. So in for four. Over two. One. Over two. Out for six. Three. Four. Five. One more time. In for four. Over two. One. Two. Out for six. Three. Keep your posture tall. That steadiness. That's safety. And that clarity. That's your operating system stabilizing. That availability. That is regulation. And notice nothing in your life likely changed in those few seconds. Your responsibilities didn't disappear. It's unlikely your inbox cleared itself. The kids probably still need to go to soccer soccer practice. The pressure didn't vanish. But your system changed. And once the system changes, your relationship to the pressure changes. And that's the doorway.
SPEAKER_00And breath is a great tool to be able to do it on demand and also to be able to do it from anywhere. Like one is going to the work and they're sitting in their car still, but they can feel themselves having tightness of chest or some kind of anxiety. One could do this before stepping out of the car. Or they have had a difficult day at work and bringing in a lot of stress at home, one is parking the car and do that exercise for a few minutes can help us return back to that state. But as you said that in your book, naming that state and also understanding and becoming aware of that state is also very equally important. Because many times we might also be unaware of that state. Because emotional regulation starts with understanding our emotions and naming our emotions, because that is when we have that possibility of changing it.
SPEAKER_03The choice. To your point, this exercise in and of itself is designed to be used when the pressure spikes. And the more you use it, the more you become familiar with the trends in your own rhythm of where the pressure spikes throughout your day. And then you have a default available to you because in those moments of overwhelming pressure, especially when you first start doing the work that is available to you in the boiling frog or in resilient, what you need is a quick fallback. Because, you know, all 525 pages of my book, while helpful, are not what you necessarily need in that moment while you're dysregulated. And so it's very helpful to have something available to you after a long day, before a big meeting, before a big decision, before you put the car in park and walk in to your family. This 90 seconds is available to you, and you begin to see that you do have a choice. You always have a choice in the state that you would like to operate from, so you can better adapt to the person you want to be in the life that's calling you, and the version of you that that life is calling for. That was a very powerful moment for me. Was along that journey of the 12-month Odyssey, it started with a recognition after I evaluated the blade and said, I'm gonna need a new version of me for where I'm going. And it started with small moments like this, where my body was once again able to experience and feel what it was like to be safe within my own skin again. That wasn't something I had felt for quite some time. I was in a state of overwhelm, a state of survival. My range was narrowed. There was only the saber-toothed tiger in front of me any given day, in any given form. And so practices like this, small moments done consistently, reintroduced my body to the feeling of safety in my own skin. And then I was able to recognize that state and recognize that I had a choice about the state that I was choosing to operate from, and all the tools that that went along with how I could become familiar with and access that state at any given time, which was such a a core component of what I wanted to distill into the system that I built with all the KPIs that were associated, because it was so critical for me to understand the inputs and their associated outputs. And along with that came the idea of the physics lab components that came with all of them because it's very important for you to witness, see, feel, and experience what this is like. You know very well. Boiling water, it's a very visceral work, and that is often novel to people, it's often new, but it does make it more accessible when you realize it's more than a thought, it's a full-body feeling that I can become familiar with and begin to access at any time I need it.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, thank you, Jason. One of the things which really uh strikes me here, what you said, is the intention. It is the power of intention, what state you want to want to show up, and I think that is such a great starting point because then one could shift that state. Okay, I am feeling very, very exhausted just now, and I need to take a break and possibly just go go out for a mindful walk. So the first thing is awareness, and then there is that intention of wanting to wanting to change that. Hello friends, welcome back. Um, after a small break, and it's actually something very funny, which um uh I would like to share with you. We had to take an uh a break which was uh which was not intentional in the beginning, uh, and that was because my laptop battery was nearly discharged. I always put my battery on charging, and for some reason today the plug was not on, and we didn't want to drop the call, so we took a few minutes, uh, we took a few minutes break and charged ourselves with some warm hydration as well. And uh so the nature and universe has very interesting and serendipitous, yes, synchronous ways of delivering the insights, delivering the insights to us, as I said that this never happens. In fact, this happened for the first time, so really, really incredible. Whilst we are in such a playful mood, I would also like to ask you, Jason. I can see a lot of toys there behind you. It's very intriguing and interesting, and what would you mind mind uh um sharing about that?
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. So uh these are transformers, uh and uh I I am asked often about them. Uh there's a there's 163 and growing at this point. Um and well, first and foremost, I'm a child of the 80s, right? So I grew up with this stuff. But therein lies the importance of that message. Um it helps me stay grounded in the play of life. Because this is my office. This is the space where all this stuff happens, it's where I read the boiling frog, it's where resilient was written. And to be immersed in an environment like this reminds me to not take everything so seriously, too seriously. And this was such a critical moment of my 12-month Odyssey. And the hardest assignment that my coach ever gave me. He looked at me one day and he said, Okay, Jason, this week, here's your assignment. I'm like, okay, let's go. I'm ready, I'm gonna crush it. I'm high performer. Um he said, I want you to spend 15 minutes this week and devote it entirely to aimless play. And I froze. And I looked at him and I was like, aimless play? And he said, Yeah, 15 minutes where all that you do is not associated with or to an outcome. Aimless play. And he looked at me and he could see me sweat. And he said, Jason, what do you do for aimless play? And I said, Nothing. There is nothing I do that isn't associated to a metric, to an outcome. I mean, my whole life at that point was one long continuous performance review that I was running on myself. And that moment was so powerful because it reified how distorted my lens and my aperture had become onto overwhelm. But it was also the invitation, it was the opportunity. Uh, because at that point I had begun to practice some of the regulation techniques, like the 90-second reset, that reintroduced my body to the concept of feeling safe. And from that place of safety, I began to look at my life and say, maybe it's not all that serious, that final, that permanent. Maybe there's room to play in and experience this life that I'm building. Because what is all the point and purpose of all this work I'm doing if I'm not available to experience all that I'm putting together? And so uh here we are uh in a uh in an environment that consistently reminds me to play and how beautiful and full life is, and it just gives me a a reason to look around and and recognize and appreciate everything that I have built into my life and the life I get to experience every day. So that's really where all this comes from is the the concept of aimless play and how beautiful life can be once you afford yourself the permission to be available to it.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, Jason. That was absolutely awesome. And to be childlike and playful, it is so recharging and spontaneous in itself.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. It allows for things like the coincidences that just happened for us, uh, the chance to practice the things we propose. Um when you're not consistently insisting on how things need to be, when you're not continuing to brace yourself based on an expectation you have, you become available to the the richness and the fullness of the life that you you came here to build, the things you said you wanted in the first place, because under consistent unresolved load, where a wave isn't allowed to return to form, even the good stuff can be just additional load, one more thing. I mean, look at the way you were approached the fact that your computer was about to experience the depleted battery we were just talking about, right? The state you were operating from gave you the choice in how you wanted to respond to that. And for us, it was laughter, it was play, it was I can't believe that almost happened to us. The the poetry of it was too perfect. Um but you know, that that was a choice you were able to make, how you chose to respond to that. That there's a lot of folks who who don't recognize they have that choice, myself included. Uh, and for me, uh for a long time it was just about, you know, give my body something to react to, right? Like that could have been, you know, something that would have thrown my whole day, but here it's it's a chance to play.
SPEAKER_00So thank you. Thank you. Justin, after our very, very interesting discussion about play, I've got a more serious question for you. And that is have you heard about the cannery in a coal mine? Canary is a small bird in a coal coal mine, and I'll tell you why I'm asking this question. So, cannery is a small bird, and on historic times it used to be it was used in a way in the coal for coal miners when they were going to step down, they used to send the cannery, and if the cannery was faint or dead, they realized that the toxic fumes were high enough that it was not safe for them. Definitely not the ideal way of doing it. Now, the environment, now in terms of resilient or in terms of the boiling frog analogy or our battery, we can keep having a thicker and thicker skin. We can have we can become more and more resilient, and even our troughs can be good, but the environment itself could be very catabolic in different ways. What would you suggest your listeners or the listeners or clients to do in such a situation? First of all, how to be that environmentally aware of what's going on, how, if possible, how to measure it? Because you can be resilient, you can be very resilient, but but I remember a movie Shawshank Redemption, where there's a beautiful uh dialogue. I remember that every man has a breaking point. You keep increasing the stress, keep increasing the stress, keep increasing the stress. Everyone will have that breaking point, or shall we say, the boiling point.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. And for me, that ties back to the power of choice we were just mentioning, right? Um, and also the fact that a lot of people don't realize they have that choice on how they choose to respond. So there's a couple things at play here. First and foremost, the law. Your performance ceiling can never rise higher than your recovery floor. And we are also predispositioned to continue to ask for more, uh, more output, more accomplishments, more responsibilities, more opportunities. We tend to forego the physics-based component that is the return of that. And there is nothing wrong with wanting more out of life. We all have big dreams. We all came here to accomplish things, to achieve. And on that road to doing it, that's why it becomes tantamount to recognize the nature of rhythm, the nature of the physical world we're a part of. Again, the mechanics of it all, because that allows us to become available to the life we we say we want without getting there and finding out um the things we asked for are simply more or bad, um, just additional load. So in looking to, and then the the other variable there is again returning to the idea that you, in recognizing the problem is you, relinquish the responsibility to control things that are external to you. Because more often than not, we we rarely have any real control over those variables to begin with. But what we do have control over is ourselves and how we choose to respond to the environment around us. And in fact, we just went through the 90-second reset that changes our system and that changes how our body responds to pressure. So, first and foremost, if you're asking, what is the first step to take? It is the first KPI of pillar one, and it's called the regulation stack. So, within the world of resilience, the collaboration that is so beautiful about what you've put together in the boiling frog and what I've got in resilient, you people you help people see the water, the environment, and I work to hand them the dials. That's the collaboration, if you had to sum it up in a sentence, because you can't measure, you can't improve what you don't measure. Yes, and you won't measure what you haven't noticed. So, within Resilient, every pillar in the engine closes the same. Way there's canonical KPIs with hard targets, then a performance lab, so you can feel what that number means. So regulation alone has six, it's the hinge, and the anchor is what I call a regulation stack, two per weeks, and that one is different because it's not the KPI that tracks your regulation, it's the KPI that creates it. And four weeks of consistently hitting your regulation stack will change your identity. And I'm very fortunate to have seen that happen in the kind of work I do with my clients. A regulation stack is a moment that you put on your calendar that is as non-negotiable as anything else in your external world, that is devoted to addressing a chance to return to baseline across your physical, mental, emotional, and energetic planes. And that in and of itself, if you were to look around you at this point, realize you don't like the way you feel in your own skin. It just feels like a creepy crawlies, it gives you the ick. If you find yourself reacting to things that you know you find afterwards really weren't that big of a deal, if you constantly feel like you are behind, it doesn't matter what the scoreboard says, that may be the signal that you are ready to and will benefit from implementing regulation stacks um two per week. And give yourself grace here because it's about consistency. So when you implement a regulation stack, the the scoreboard in and of itself is really, I did that thing, right? Like, you know, mine are more involved at this point, um at least 60 minutes. Um but but I hear you, and a lot of your listeners are probably thinking the same thing, like my life, my calendar, my environment. Like, where am I gonna find that kind of time? And I get it. I I was the same when you know I started doing this work. I'm like, I don't know how that's gonna happen. But a funny thing occurred. Uh, and the more I devoted my time to completing my regulation stack, the more time I had available, the more I gave my body a chance to return, the easier it was able to rise. And the more I accomplished, the more I achieved, and the more time I had to, you know, invest in regulation on really returning my system to baseline, to home. And so that is absolutely where I would start. If you're looking around at things like your environment, uh the way you feel any given day, it starts with designing and implementing a regulation stack that you can meet twice a week with with devotion and love. Uh and then from there, I would invite your listeners to to watch the way that your life just sort of opens up to you around it. It's uh it's counterintuitive, and I very much get that now. It was harder to understand when I started, but I I do invite you to see how it works for you and how the life around you, the life you say you want, the things you want to do, the person you want to be, just sort of make themselves available to you as you avail yourself to allowing your body to find its rhythm.
SPEAKER_00Very, very true. And um, Yesin, that is so important. It's so important uh about the measurement and being aware of the measurement. I will give you a small example just to make it even uh simplify what you have said. We have got a lot of uh we have got a lot of measurement devices now with uh with uh whether it is a watch uh or whether it is a ring, and uh and it will give you a person generated health data, and it is very helpful. Whether it is it will go into the details of sleep, whether it is REM sleep, non-rem sleep, deep sleep, what were the rhythms of your sleep, what was your heart rate variability, which is again the rhythm of your the autonomic nervous system. Now I realize that if I don't sleep three, four days, five days in a row, I I collect what is something it says as uh it says on on my records because this the phone is connected to the app, the the the variables are connected to the app, and it will say that I've got a sleep debt of let's say six hours. I can correlate the cognitive fog in my brain to the sleep debt. Yeah, and then I go an extra mile to get my first of all, I know what's happening in my life which is affecting my sleep. How can I come back to my normal wave form? I need to stay hydrated, I need to take breaks during the day, I need to go out for more mindful, mindful walks. So having that awareness is important, and then some kind of measurement, and that is where I really like the resilient, because the resilient will give you several different KPIs in all different in all the chapters that it can really help you to measure where you are with each of the skills, and that that is the how to manage manage the stress. So, Jason, amazing, really great work uh with that particular angle of stress management you have done in the book. Congratulations for that. We are going to go to the next uh area which I really want to discuss with you. What if a person is not in an environment which is matched to their strengths and their values? And I really love the chapter of authenticity in your book. It's something like something like placing a rainforest frog in a desert frog, or vice versa. Nothing you can do, nothing you would do to retrain the frog, but uh will ultimately cause more for them to be more resilient. Would you agree with that?
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. You you can't tell a fish to fly. Yeah. And I and I think it's an important point. Um, and it starts with grounding yourself in who you are. Uh, that's what we call the multiplier model in resilient. Because from that place of authenticity, you know, I I myself, for years, uh, I'm just such an anomaly in so many ways in my life, uh, even in the context of my own family, right? Like I love, love my family. We're very close, but my goodness, are we different? And for years, I honestly thought I was broken. And it was only really when I started doing this work and got introduced to the concept of human design that I began to understand oh, I'm not broken. This is actually how I'm built. Wow. And it becomes again something that you're able to approach uh objectively as the thing of simple mechanics. It's not really something that I mean you could, you could argue with it, you could negotiate with it and say, oh gosh, I wish I was different. But when you're presented with this kind of fundamental truth and you begin to see yourself in it, uh it almost becomes irrefutable in the best uh possible way. And uh Taylor 7 really goes through the story of this, and uh the moment uh where I was able to stop fighting reality and live by design. And the wild thing from that to this point is nothing about my external environment changed. For instance, my family is a is a great one, right? Like we all live, uh most of us live very immersed in family or folks we are close to whom we call family. You can use that analogy to draw to other settings where you're feeling contextually, you know, are your environment, right? Uh be they physical, be they more emotional. Um, but nothing about that environment for me is an example. My family changed. But my relationship to it changed, and that changed the experience of being with my family. Because from that place of authenticity, that unshakable bedrock of being grounded in this is who I am, and that's okay. And I am safe to be who I am, I am safe within my own skin. The bedrock work that I did with regulation in pillar one now had a real home in authenticity because I felt safe within my own skin. I felt very grounded in who I was and very okay with who I was, safe to do the things that are natural for me. From that place, you build resilience. And in this model, resilience is very simply the ability to return and rise again. It is rhythmic adaptability. Because in my experience, I found that is really what I needed more than anything was quite simply the ability to keep going in challenging situations, in good situations. It's all a matter of mechanical, energetic load where I'm just like, I like this and I want to do more of it, or I don't like this and I would like things to change. All of that made sense once my body felt safe in its own skin, and once I understood the nature of who I was, because that authenticity became the bedrock for resilience, my ability to keep going, to feel safe in the vessel, that the vessel would weather any storm it was in. And from that place, I found peak performance on demand, uh, which is quite simply the output layer, right? The ability to act on the rhythm and to be available to the life I want, the family I've loved my whole life. My whole family relationship, my relationship with my mother, my father, my brothers has changed so fundamentally because I changed and because I really leaned in to my mechanics, my rhythm, and my design, my authenticity. And so I I have always found that was a very powerful example wherein counterintuitively, I'll admit, changing myself changed the world within which that I operate and change my experience, right? My lived experience because my whole relationship with my family has changed. I'm now able to help and serve people who are very close to me, who have given me a lot. My gosh, my mother, my father, my brothers, I'm now able to give them things that I was never able to give before. I'm able to help them experience safety in their own skin. I'm able to help them see things differently. And the kind of depth and texture and color that that's added to our relationships and thereby my life is the kind of thing that even I, 500 pages later, struggle to find the words to really put into proper perspective, right? It is just such a full-body, wow, I love this sort of experience to see the way that relationship has changed. And so, to your point about bringing this back to the environment, I would encourage you to lean into who you are, because then you can trust who you are and the moves you make. You will feel safe to move from where you are as you are. And I think I I quite simply invite you to see what changes in your lived experience in your environment. Um, because by nature, all of us are are here living very different experiences, and you know, the the kind of output that happens when you do this sort of exercise when I do it with my clients is is always very different, but but equally remarkable every time we do it. And so that is how I consistently, uh repeatedly guide folks through changing their external environment by focusing on themselves almost exclusively as a start. And it's wild to to watch what happens. I've had folks who, you know, like myself, have um experienced profound changes in their family dynamics. Uh clients whose children have stopped walking up to them to have to ask, Daddy, are you mad at me? I've had folks who've experienced radical professional shifts. They've decided that the working environment they were part of was no longer aligned to who they were. In fact, it was it was never really aligned to who they were. But now that they felt this safety in their own skin, and it's been bookended with an understanding of who they are and what makes them tick, how they make decisions, the environments in which they should operate from, which is a very key component of this work, of human design itself as well, they were able to make those changes. They started a business, they left their W 2. Um they launched new things in their lives. Uh, and so these are all just, you know, I say that to sort of illustrate the way in which focusing internally first produces some pretty remarkable changes externally, all without a real focus on changing the external thing first. So work here first and watch what happens around you is really the advice I would give.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much. Uh thank you so much, Jason. That was absolutely an astute reflection of what you have just shared. And without going into too much of details, uh, because we are coming to the end of the hour, I would like to share with you that with the boiling frog, we are integrating the AI layer now. And the AI layer is that will be able to help us contextualize the stress management to the person in front of us. I'll give an example. I used to be an ER doctor, emergency room accident and emergency doctor for a decade. Now I don't do that, now I work in hospitals. Now, for working in accident and emergency, which they where there's you can there's a lot of buzz, a lot of adrenaline, a lot of chaos. You one needs to have strong team working and leadership skills. Now, if somebody is by nature very introvert, they will find it more challenging. I'm not saying that they are not, they are not able to, they won't be able to manage, but I'm saying they will they will be finding it far more challenging to deal in that environment. Same person can do very well in an environment which which will be suited for very, very introvert people, like maybe in a microbiology lab or a pathology lab or a radiologist, just giving you some examples. And there is no there is the answers are not in black and white, always in gray. So the stress management, we can only one of my friends, Phil, says we can only soar from our strengths. So there are our our own strengths, our own values. The IFrog, the AI layer of the boiling frog will absolutely help to nail down the stress management to their person in front, also measuring their internal environment, their external environment, and coming out with solutions. So that is going to be our next step. Now, Jason, I know we are already at the top of the hour. The conversation with you has been so engrossing that I've completely lost the track of the time and I can go for another hour, but we will have to bring it to a close. But before we go, what of single advice you would like to give to the listeners who are feeling exhausted, who are feeling trapped, and we want they want to start somewhere to completely reshape their lives.
SPEAKER_03You are not broken, you are overloaded, and you are one system away from ensuring that the life you want, the person you want to be, the things you want to do, it becomes inevitable. So I invite you to lean into the work you've heard here today. If that's a 90-second reset, if that is time with the the new frog AI that is coming out, any and all of it will continue to return you home to who you are. And at that point, I invite you to watch what happens around you.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, Jason. Thank you so much. And listeners who would like to learn more about your work, what is the best way to reach you and learn more about you?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, of course. Everything uh is at jasonallen horror.com. That includes the 90 second reset, uh, the availability index, the book itself, uh, and the new group cohort uh that just launched uh the 30-day reset. So you can find me there, you can find uh a whole bunch of free tools, and you can find me on social again at Jason Allenbohr uh everywhere.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, Jason. It's been an absolute pleasure to have you at Transforming Stress, and you have given some amazing insights to be able to transform, change the form of the stress by understanding the waveform of our rhythmic adaptability. And really, this is one of uh one of the great conversations I've had in the stress management. I look forward to having our further conversations. And thank you so much for joining me today.
SPEAKER_03Thank you so much for having me. I've really been looking forward to this, and it was it was everything I hoped it would be.
SPEAKER_02Thank you. If you enjoyed today's episode, we'd greatly appreciate it. If you could leave a five-score, a like or subscribe or wherever you listen to your podcast. Your support helps us reach more people. We'd love to see your support.