The SOVRN Report
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The SOVRN Report
The Power of Saying No: Prioritizing Your Goals
Join us as we uncover effective techniques to say no without feeling guilty or burning bridges. We'll walk you through direct yet kind ways to set boundaries, offer alternatives, and even understand the psychology behind why people ask for help. Get ready to learn how to clear your mental clutter, avoid burnout, and truly focus on what matters most in your life. This episode is packed with actionable insights to help you live a balanced, more sovereign life. Don't miss it!
Ever feel like your schedule is going to explode? Yeah, like you said yes to way too many things, and now your to-do list is a mile long.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I know the feeling Happens to the best of us.
Speaker 1:It's the worst. So that's what made your notes on the power of saying no really fascinating to me.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Like can mastering this one word really unlock that whole sovereign life thing? Yeah, you know that we always talk about Right, right.
Speaker 2:And it's interesting these sources. They go beyond just saying no to plans. They tie it directly to like taking control of your life.
Speaker 1:Okay, see, now I'm really intrigued. My notes say saying no isn't about being selfish.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But about, like, protecting your time and energy, which makes a lot of sense when I think about that fundraiser uh-huh, where I volunteered to make all those pies the pies, three pies oh no on a wednesday while you were sick I was so sick. Definitely not an example of balanced living, let me tell you. No, not at all that's.
Speaker 2:That's good intentions gone wrong. But it also kind of gets at the whole self-sufficiency thing right.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know, which is like a big part of the sovereign life framework.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:We only have so much energy, right you? Have to put yourself first.
Speaker 1:Okay. So every time I said yes to those pies, I was actually saying no to A good night's sleep.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:My sanity.
Speaker 2:Definitely and probably like your larger goals.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a good point.
Speaker 2:Which is what the source talks about. Next, the whole focus and productivity thing.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Think about a clean desk versus a really cluttered one.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Which one makes you feel like you can tackle your to-do list?
Speaker 1:The clean one, obviously.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Although mine's usually the cluttered one, if I'm being honest.
Speaker 2:Right. But when we're constantly juggling commitments, it creates mental clutter, prevents you from doing your best work, feeling good about your accomplishments right.
Speaker 1:It's like trying to write a novel in a room full of screaming toddlers I can't even imagine difficult, yeah, impossible probably that actually makes me want to go clear off my desk right and clear and clear my schedule. Yeah. So how does saying no? Create that space? So less mental clutter, more mental clarity.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:That sounds pretty great to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But this also ties into the burnout thing too right, oh, absolutely Burnout.
Speaker 2:just like thrives in that space between feeling overloaded and neglecting our own needs.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Saying no is like a pressure valve. Okay neglecting our own needs, yeah saying no, is like a pressure valve.
Speaker 1:Okay, it releases the build-up before it becomes too much, which makes it essential for balanced living, right? Yeah, another one of those sovereign life os things, exactly. I mean, I can talk about self-care all day, but if my schedule is totally packed, what's the point?
Speaker 2:it's not sustainable, right? Yeah, like trying to fill up a bathtub with the drain open oh, that's a good analogy it's about finding a rhythm in your life, you know.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And that means saying no sometimes to good things even.
Speaker 1:So how do I get good at that?
Speaker 2:What Saying no.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like what's the strategy? How do I tell someone no?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's definitely a learned skill.
Speaker 1:I bet.
Speaker 2:You know the sources. They all say to be direct.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But be kind and try to offer different options when you can.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Like with your pie situation.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Could you have offered to donate ingredients?
Speaker 1:I could have done that.
Speaker 2:Or help set up maybe still contribute, but not like overdoing it.
Speaker 1:I like that, so it doesn't have to be a dead end. It's more of like what a redirection.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:But you mentioned the psychology behind it. How does that work?
Speaker 2:Well, when someone asks you for something, they usually have an unmet need, right, I guess?
Speaker 1:so.
Speaker 2:Maybe they're overwhelmed, Maybe they're procrastinating. If you figure out what their motivation is, it's easier to respond in a good way. You know, even if you're saying no.
Speaker 1:So it's more like hey, I see you're super busy. I wish I could, but I just don't have the bandwidth right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, acknowledge their needs, but set a boundary.
Speaker 1:That makes sense.
Speaker 2:And, honestly, a lot of the time that's enough. They might not even realize how much pressure they're putting on you.
Speaker 1:That's true. It's also a good idea to practice saying no to smaller things. You know to build up to the big stuff. So like what? Saying no to an extra meeting or like a party you don't want to go to?
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's easier to do it in those low state situations. The more you do it, the more comfortable you'll get.
Speaker 1:Right, build up those no muscles.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and eventually you'll be saying no to anything that doesn't serve you, you know, without even thinking about it.
Speaker 1:That's the dream, right? Because, I'll be honest, I've definitely said yes to things just out of habit or because I didn't want to let anyone down.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, We've all been there.
Speaker 1:Even when I knew it was a bad idea.
Speaker 2:But that's the cool thing about this whole sovereign life thing it's about recognizing those patterns and making the choice to change them.
Speaker 1:Instead of just reacting to whatever is thrown at me? Exactly I, instead of just reacting to whatever's thrown at me Exactly. I get to decide what my life looks like.
Speaker 2:That's the idea, and those no's are what. Let you do that.
Speaker 1:Okay, I like that. So how does this all connect back to those three principles again Self-sufficiency, critical thinking and balanced living? It's all related, right. It's like they're all connected, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for you, for rest or anything.
Speaker 1:It really makes you realize. Saying no is like yeah, it's self-care in a way. Yeah, it's making space for the good stuff. Thinking about our own lives, though, yeah, is there a time where you wish you'd said no.
Speaker 2:Oh, definitely. I mean, there's always that one project, that one favor, that just wasn't worth it.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, totally.
Speaker 2:And I think that's what the sources are getting at. You know, we all have those experiences. Yeah, learn from them, don't dwell on them.
Speaker 1:Right. Use them to make better choices in the future.
Speaker 2:Exactly Every time you say no. It's a chance to change your path, to focus on what really matters.
Speaker 1:So it's about not beating yourself up for the times you said yes, but using those to say no in the future.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's about taking control, you know, deciding what you want your life to be.
Speaker 1:I love that, and it's not about becoming a hermit right right, it's about being intentional, choosing what gets your time and energy well said.
Speaker 2:It's about designing your life like you said, yeah, and every no gets you closer to that okay.
Speaker 1:So, as we wrap this up, I think the takeaway is clear what's that your time and your energy are valuable. Don't be afraid to protect them. Absolutely and say no to the things that don't really matter.
Speaker 2:Couldn't have said it better myself. Until next time, everybody.
Speaker 1:Stay curious out there. Stay intentional and keep designing that sovereign life.