Finding Strength After Silence

What if the voice you lost wasn’t just your singing voice—but your true self? We sit down with author and entrepreneur Andrea A. Mohammed to explore how a mother, business owner, and believer stitched a life back together after years of hidden pain and the heartbreaking loss of her daughter, Brianna.

Andrea takes us from the first shock of a childhood blood disorder to the global advocacy Brianna sparked for Be The Match and bone marrow awareness, especially in the Black community. You’ll hear about the surprise 51st birthday party Brianna planned between transplants, the foundation now carrying her name, and the practical ways a daughter’s light continues to move her family forward. It’s a story where grief becomes service, and legacy becomes action.

We also talk about faith without fences. Andrea was raised in a Christian holiness church and later embraced Islamic practice, finding structure, modesty, and discipline that drew her closer to God. She shares how Psalms and the Quran sit side by side in her morning routine, and how prayer shifted from “fix him” to “God, fix me,” unlocking a path out of silence and emotional abuse. The literal return of her voice—raspier, stronger, truer—mirrors a life reclaimed.

You’ll leave with Andrea’s healing blueprint: 5 a.m. prayer or meditation, daily scripture, honest journaling, movement that clears the mind, affirmations that speak life, and boundaries that protect peace. If you need a starting line, this conversation is it—gentle, firm, and filled with tools you can use today. Listen, share with someone who needs steady hope, and if this moved you, subscribe and leave a review so more people can find their way back to their own voice.

CONTACT 

ANDREA BRIDGES MUHAMMAD 

478-718-4001 

DO IT FOR BRI FACEBOOK 

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Guest Introduction
• 6:29 Why “I Lost My Voice” Was Written
• 15:51 Brianna’s Diagnosis And Advocacy
• 28:28 Faith, Identity, And Modesty
• 37:49 Marriage, Silence, And Hidden Wounds
• 49:19 Reclaiming Voice Through Church And Song
• 58:49 The Healing Blueprint: Daily Practices
• 1:09:59 Boundaries, Community, And Becoming
• 1:19:39 Living Brianna’s Legacy And Foundation

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 2:22

Hello and welcome to another episode of Regina's Warren Audio Series Presents. Today I have a special and I know I say this all the time. I always say I got a special, special guest. I'm gonna say it again. Today I have a very, very special guest. She just released her memoir, and when I tell you it's a wonderful book, I don't know if my words are are good enough to say because I read the book three times and yet I'm still going back for more. Andrea A. Mohammed is an author, entrepreneur, the mother of seven who turned loss into legacy. She is the founder of A and B Consulting, a personal vacationer vacation planner with Caravan Cruise Line, and a property investor committed to building generational wealth. Her debut memoir, I Lost My Voice, shares her journey through life storms. It tells the raw and inspiring story of navigating marriage, the heartbreak of losing her daughter Brianna, and the journey of reclaiming her strength through faith, humor, and healing. Andrea is a woman who for many years lived a muted life. A woman who was simply afraid to speak, who begged for crumbs of affection. Andrea is a woman that God has revealed by faith. Please help me welcome to the show the beautiful and very gifted Andrea B. Mohammed. Hello, Andrea. Good morning. How are you? Good morning.

SPEAKER_01: 4:17

Good morning. Good morning. It is an honor to be here with you today. Um good morning to you.

SPEAKER_00: 4:26

Good morning. I am so excited about your book. As you heard me say, I've read I've read it like three times. Three times. I don't think I've ever read a book that many times. Not three. Maybe one. Maybe two. I remember reading uh legend uh this Marilyn Monroe's biography. But the book was so thick. It was such a thick book. But I finally got through it. But your book is I mean, it's a it's a thin kind of a book. And how can I put it it's it's a book that is not nearly as big as some of these books you read like thousands of pages, uh I should say hundreds of pages. Your book has just so many chapters, but yet it it's almost like it tells your whole life story in that one book, and it's not nearly as long as most books. What was the journey in writing that book? I just I just wanted to ask that particular question.

SPEAKER_01: 5:34

Oh my goodness, the journey um in writing a book. Um, well, I lost my voice originally was about was gonna be about um me losing my singing voice and not being able to speak for a minute. I mean, the voice, the voice that um the doctor said I would never get back, that voice. It was originally gonna be about it. I thought about writing it about five years ago during the pandemic, and um it was like, hey, I got my voice back. I was driving back and forth, and um our Minister of Music was saying, Hey, I need you to step up, I need you to sing, I need you to, you know, give it what you got. And for me, that's what the book was gonna be about, how you know I got my singing voice back. Um, little did I know as um then is that I needed to tell a bigger story about losing your voice, and that it was a bigger thing um than just my singing voice. But I really had lost my voice in many different ways, from my daughter being ill, um having been ill since she was 10 years old, uh, before her passing in 2023, um, about my marriage, um, and about my life in itself, about the the journey to just please everyone else and not worry about myself. So that's where the book came from. Um, through my journey, um, you know, I did a lot of journaling and just talking. I was on the road during the pandemic by myself, um, traveling for work. Um, when when my job was shut down, I had to make sure I had something else. So I began traveling for work, and I got an opportunity to journal more and be in oneself more from my walking daily, two or three miles, you know, with my dog, okay? With my dog. So I got a a chance to to be with myself and actually get to learn more about myself and find out that I was that person that I knew I could be, but I was not I stepping up to the plate yet to be her, that I was being it for everyone else. So that's where this book came from. I lost my voice.

SPEAKER_00: 7:46

Wow. I wanna as I was reading in the beginning of your book, you dedicated this book to some very special individuals, um, your seven children. And I remember reading in the book you quoted y you said a lot of things about your daughter Brianna. Um and I'm gonna ask you about your princess right now because you know, she's with the Lord, and I want to ask you about Brianna, 'cause she she was such a beautiful soul on earth and her legacy You know, I didn't get to go to the funeral, but I did see what that young lady stopped traffic. She stopped traffic. So many people attended that funeral. It was like political, you know, was gone.

SPEAKER_01: 8:43

Right. There were there were people standing outside and over 80,000 views of her funeral and well, which to the family um from that she did stop traffic for sure.

SPEAKER_00: 8:55

Oh my god. And so I I didn't see like you know, I wasn't there, but just from what I could see, so I imagine that the people that was there, they could really see everything. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02: 9:09

It was a beautiful Yes, talk about your baby.

SPEAKER_01: 9:15

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I can talk about her. And and for those that would like to um view her funeral, just type in her name, Brianna B-R-I-A-N-A Stevens, S-T-E-T-H-E-N-S. It is on YouTube, so you can take a look at it. I am going to do that. I'm going to do that. It's a beautiful homegoing celebration for her. But let me first say this: let me give a big shout-out to my six sons, okay? My six sons, before I talk about Brianna. Those those boys range in age from 17 to 28. And when I say those boys were there for me, for Kwan, Davion, Caleb, Khalid, Mustafa, and Yousum, they were my strength as well. They were my strength. They were there for me when I couldn't be there for myself, myself. One of my sons made it his business to hug and kiss me every single day. My Mustafa, he came and he kissed me every night before he went to bed. He made sure I turned my light out. You know, at night. Sometimes I would fall asleep with the lights on because I would find it un you know not easy to rest. And um, those boys, those boys stuck by their mom when their mom couldn't be everything she needed to be for them. So big shout out to those boys. I call them my Muhammad boys, okay? They are my my guys for sure. So big shout out to them. Now let's think about my angel, my angel Brianna. Man, uh, we found out she was sick um at the age of 10. And um I remember when my ex-husband took her to the doctor for me. I was working at ATT at the time, and my ex-husband took her to the doctor, and um she c he called me and he said, Um, Andrea, I think you need to get up here. They said Brianna has a blood disorder. And I'm going, What? This was the same little girl that had entered the modeling world, okay? Um, started her, had a first photo shoot with with uh Walmart, and she had entered the modeling world. Um, just beautiful inside and out. And how are you telling me that little girl that had never been sick a day in her life now has a blood disorder? So immediately I uh yeah, I left work, you know. I left work to um run up to the hospital. They didn't give it a name then. They just said, hey, we gotta run these tests. And you know, for weeks, even months, we didn't know what the name of her illness was. Um they finally gave they finally gave it a name after about a year. And they said um it's called aplastic anemia. It was a blood disorder, um a bone marrow failure. Her blood didn't clot. And they said um without a transplant she would not live two years. So if you can imagine being told that your child would not live two years. Let's say I went into shock. I went into shock, I went into depression, um I cried every single day. Three or four days, I think she was in the hospital, she got to come home. There were no medicines to give her at the time, there was nothing, just watch her and be careful. You know, a little bruise could change her life easily. Oh my goodness. Yeah, so I um I didn't um let her do very much where I wasn't around because that could change her li change her life. Um but I gave Brianna to God um so that I could reca regain my sanity because I went from taking happy pills because I cried every day. I was pregnant. You know, I was always pregnant to birth. Pregnant every two years. So um I um I had to give I had to give Brianna to God um just to regain my sanity. And um we chose to live, you know. Right and um so Brianna said, Mom, you know, can I do this? And mom, can I do that? And I said, Whatever you want to do, baby, you can do it. Just let me know. And we lived our life. Um with Brianna liked every day was her last. That's what we talked about. We talked about showing up and showing out for ourselves, and I poured into her that mindset that every day you're gonna live like it's your last and live it to the fullest. Um and my baby did that. She she did that. She did. She did it. She went throughout high school. She might have missed 30 or 40 days, but she still graduated with high honors. She went to college, she obtained several degrees herself and opened up her own businesses. Um she initially started the Do-It-For Bree Foundation. Um, that do it for Brie Foundation was to make people aware of um blood disorders that require uh transplants and how we um as black people were the last ones to be able to get a transplant, um bone marrow transplant, because we're not enough of us on the list. Um to do that. So she became an advocate for the Be the Match Foundation before she she died. Um so you here you'll see if you search her name again, you'll see that she was on Billboard, she was on Fox Five News Atlanta, she was on WMAZ, WMMAZ down in uh Macon. She was throughout. Um, she became worldwide in and uh speaking about bone marrow failure and what we need as a people, as a whole, in order to to stay alive. So um what we've done is is revisited that we have re-established the Do It For Brie Foundation as well in her name, um, with a with a few good people that have decided to to sit on that board with us to keep her name alive.

SPEAKER_00: 16:36

Wow, that is so beautiful. That's a beautiful honor to carry on her legacy because as we were saying in the beginning, she had such a spirit about herself. She every time I would see her online, she was doing something. It she I never seen a dull moment where she was wasn't doing something. She was either modeling or she was, you know, working or uh or doing something. And there are a lot of things she would do to help other people because I see the Christmas thing that she would she did, and she did a lot of uh stuff to help other people as well, which is very commendable. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01: 17:15

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00: 17:15

She gives back to the hospital.

SPEAKER_01: 17:17

She gives back to the children's hospital. We have since um took on another hospital up here in Atlanta as well, but she started where at her home base in Macon, Georgia, um, the children's hospital, and um we have scheduled now another uh presentation to the children's hospital on behalf of Brianna, the Do It for Brief Foundation and Infinity and Dion, which was how she started the organization Infinity and Dion, presenting um gifts to the children at the Children's Hospital. So we're gonna continue her legacy with that. So we are currently accepting gifts in her name as well.

SPEAKER_00: 17:56

It's so beautiful. And I and I I gotta say this. Um I wanna say this. I remember, you know, when she was kind of I think this could have been a few, maybe a few weeks before she passed. From my understanding, and I could be wrong, and you could tell me let me know. She put together your birthday, because I seen a picture with her on it. And and this was during the time she was sick. I was like, oh my God. And that's a few days later, she's gone. But but she was there for that. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01: 18:31

Yes, she put together um our 51st birthday celebration. So I have a twin sister, and um my twin sister and I were back and forth at the hospital with her for our milestone celebration, which would have been our 50th birthday. Um, and so Brianna and Andre and I, we met for dinner for our 50th birthday because the doctors had, you know, released her to at least go to dinner um with us after her first after her first transplant. And so from that moment on, they tell me that she began planning number 51 for us. And when they say I had no idea, you know, she asked me about uh, she asked me, you know, what did I want for my birthday? And I was like, I just want a family picture. All my children were home, and I just really want a group photo of my family together. I wanted everybody, that's all I desire. Well, for those of us that know Brianna, she was a great photographer, and she also had great photographer friends. Um, so she got one of her friends, um, Jay, to do our photos um for our birthday, you know, for our birthday that year. And this is what we thought. We thought we were just going in for a birthday photo shoot, but what we had, and she dressed us, okay. We had a great gassy theme, okay? She dressed. Yes, yeah, it was so beautiful, she was really creative. She had such, she was such a creative person in herself. She there, everything about her creative. So it was a great gassy thing. So we were all dressed in our, you know, beautiful black. I had on black. My sister had on red, and it was, you know, we had a little things on our head. It was just really, really beautiful. Beautiful. Um, that were in the picture. I'm a little, and that party was the day before she went into the hospital for her second transplant. It was the day before she went in the second day, um, the next day, and she started her process for her second transplant, which I was um her donor for her second transplant.

SPEAKER_00: 20:48

So um I had to ask that because I remember seeing that. I was like, oh my gosh, she planned that whole thing. And then that was oh my god, what a what a child. What a child.

SPEAKER_01: 21:01

Yes. I really believe that was her goodbye to everybody. I really believe that God had spoken to Brianna in her own private place, in her own private time. Um, and I I really believe that this was her opportunity to say goodbye to everyone because she invited so many people to this thing. She was telling me later that she invited so many people um to it, as and a lot of them couldn't make it, but those that did, I did not ever expect to be there at that home going um at that birthday party. I didn't expect the ones that I saw to be there. A lot of my family was there, and Brianna made this elaborate speech to them about not RSVPing, and you know, she's like, and y'all make me sick. Y'all should have RSVP, but I'm so and in the same voice saying, I'm so glad that you're here because my mom and my auntie deserves this. They deserve this. I'm so glad that you're here. Thank you for coming. She just burst into tears, and she sang and she danced and she greeted everyone, um, even though she wasn't feeling up to par. So I really gave this her her goodbye to everyone. And I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for my birthday party. It was the first birthday party I ever had as an adult. Wow. And um, it was beautiful, it was well prepared, the food was great, and the family and friends that showed up was wonderful. We had a wonderful time. And my girl did that, you know, my baby did that, okay?

SPEAKER_00: 23:51

Yeah. I had to bring that up because I you see the picture. I think you got the picture on one of your pages where, you know, that picture where she that party and you s it is it's so beautiful and your whole family, the you know, the guys, your sons, the boys, they're there. And it just you got such a beautiful family. I must I just want to say I admire. that you have such a beautiful family and like you say your sons they just rallied around you during the time that you were going through all of your you know your things that you're going through that you wrote about in your book your sons were there and I made so many notes I don't know where to look. You have so many notes here. But um but one of the things I love when I read was reading the book um you always have a Bible verse right there underneath everything that you would say you have like a Bible verse underneath it and then of course you will have uh stuff by the Quran am I pronouncing it right Quran? The Quran yeah so with a surround on the Quran mm-hmm yeah and um I don't mean to jump too far ahead we're still gonna go back but would it be okay if I asked a few questions about um about your your your faith and your bel your religion? Absolutely absolutely go ahead okay well I was wondering are you a do you consider yourself a Christian or a Muslim?

SPEAKER_01: 25:28

Hmm um so I consider myself one who believes in God. You know that there is a superior being that created all things. Um I do not necessarily separate the two both of those molded me into who I am today I was raised um in a Christian holiness church um as a young girl and um and I converted over to Islam um sh right before um I got married. Or I studied I started studying Islam I started studying Islam right before I got married. And I think they both grounded me andor molded me. So my relationship with God did not change. It just deepened you know it just deepened um so yeah I don't I don't put a title on it. I love God and I think that the way that I move in my life it shows that I love God and people as a whole and I care of myself and I hope that they see God in me when you speak to me, when you talk to me and when you see me um I hope that you see God in me.

SPEAKER_00: 26:35

Yeah that that you kind of answered the question I was about to ask you too like how did your relationship you know shift you know when when you embrace the Islam faith how did it you know shift your relationship with God I would say shift when you embrace the Islam faith. I think that's that's what I was trying to say.

SPEAKER_01: 26:57

Yeah you know with Islam is a lot of structure okay it's a lot of discipline you know the prayer five times a day there's a lot of structure so you know I just felt like it expanded my understanding of the one and true living God. You know I think I feel like it expanded it um I remember when my grandmother God rest her soul um embraced that I was a in the nation of Islam she loved that I kept my body covered she loved that I wore you know you know my hijab she loved that and she she expressed that to me so I feel like you know with Islam it brought me closer to God it complemented what I already believed. So there's no opposites for me. They were both two paths that taught me about the same same creator.

SPEAKER_00: 27:55

Okay about the same creator um the true and living God right I love the way that they dress they they dress like you think holiness would dress you know like with with the head covering and you know you know just very respectful I guess it's I hope I'm using the right word but they they dress very modest is the word I'm trying to find. Very very modest and I love I love seeing the way they dress you know with the thing on the head and you know in the dress. And I've seen you a lot in your you know dress like that and you look just look so good and I can see where mom like what she meant about that.

SPEAKER_01: 28:41

Well let me say this also um real quick the dress was just the outer appearance that modesty also was instilled in our inner as well it was in but that that's also modesty in Christianity.

SPEAKER_00: 28:58

So Christianity planted planted the seeds Islam grew in for me so that's where the shift comes in at because of the growth so the the covering on the outer appearance is one thing but the covering inside how you carry yourself inside is is what makes the true person the person who you truly are wow it sounded like it really disciplined you you know the the uh Islamic you know faith sound like you d became very disciplined you know when you started you know started with uh Islam it just seems like it to me that you're very disciplined very much so very very much so um like I said it grew me um from the rebellious little girl to a to a grown what we call MGT um I feel that it I will always be a Muslim girl in training and learning to be the best part of me you know for you all to see and for my family to see as well right so I want to ask this question now um I love okay so I love your book is um I think it should become a bestseller and everybody out there should go pick up their book pick up this book I Lost My Voice by Andrea B. Mohammed it is a book when I tell you you know again I've read it three times and I'm gonna probably read it again because I love it.

SPEAKER_01: 30:34

It's a go-to book for me just to go to just to to make me feel better believe it or not I go there just read that book and just say wow is that where you met your is it your ex-husband now or is it you know the one that you wrote about is that where you met him at so actually um my ex-husband um went to school with me I didn't quite know him um in school I didn't even though his last name was very close to mine I didn't know him in school I met him when I went to college um when I went off to college I ran into him um he was outside my mother's house talking to my brother he's a he was an entertainer also he wrote music and he rapped and my brother did the same thing so he was actually friends with my brother he was friends with my brother and and so I dropped by my mom's house um just to you know I I went to school near so I was taking a little break so I dropped by my mom's house and he was standing outside talking to my brother and I talk about this in the book you know how he how he um said hey what are you doing and I said um I'm in school I'm in college um he said what are you studying and I said business yeah yeah and he said um I always said my wife will be my business partner and um you know I just chuckled it off and you know gave him my phone number and it's funny um I gave him my phone number and went from there you know he was always over there also with you know some more of my friends that I had not seen and so I gave I gave both of them my phone and like hey I'll talk to y'all soon just you know thinking nothing thinking nothing at all just like okay y'all call me see y'all later you know that same thing that's just you know my spirit in general yeah call me see you later and um right you know shortly we were inseparable right he became your soulmate yes he he he became what I thought would be my soulmate he was my best friend um we talked about so many things you know um in the beginning you know and twenty eight twenty eight years twenty eight years yes twenty eight years I was there wow so did um yeah I was reading that I was like 28 years and I had to make sure I read it right I was like oh my god is that twenty eight is that twenty eight so it said that he could be charming and all the good things I read that but how long did it take before you noticed that other side of him you know the side that you write about in your book you know I don't know it's it took a long time because I believed in him I trusted him and you know no one has ever written a book that they can say that it's a you know the honest and true way to make a marriage work. All I know is that I wanted my family to be together. I wanted to to be not be a part of generational curses. I wanted to be different than those that had gotten married and divorced my grandmother was married for many many many many years um both of them were married many many years um one both to their husband's deceit died you know um so I wanted to be a part of that I had seen what it looks like and I knew it was going to take work so I missed a lot of the signs um in the beginning because all my focus was on my family and not on myself. I focused on my children I focused on my husband and whatever my children and my husband wanted if it was in my power I was gonna make it happen. I was the make it happen person. So that's what I did the propundus of my life um I think I didn't see it for about seventeen years. Oh my goodness 17 years I and then I realized that the signs were there prior to those 17 years. I just wanted us so badly that I um that I I did not see myself and I just was working for us as a family as a whole. So by then you had you already had some kids too by that time by the time you noticed Yes I I had a lot of them the baby 17 years old the baby boy um just turned 17 on the first um so yeah it it took some time and I may have seen a little bit here and there but I finally began to to stand on it um and try to speak on it at that time.

SPEAKER_00: 37:02

Right and you just said he said sometimes he could be charming and and when but then sometimes he can be the other way and I and I the part they got me when you said that you had to beg for crumbs of affection.

SPEAKER_01: 37:19

Mm-hmm yeah he he his if you know him he he was very very very charming very um charming and the way that he used he's a writer the way that he used his words would make me just obey the mid um and um I would just do those things um what I failed to realize is that I missed out on a lot of things like you know just the the dating each other part I never saw it until later that we didn't date each other. We were home all the time you know we went on vacations only with the children we didn't go on vacations just us. We didn't go out to dinner with just us um and then the dinner that we went out to I may not even eat the food but it was what my family wanted so I didn't I didn't eat seafood so they did but um even on things like um my birthday we would go places that he wanted to go or that my family wanted to go not where I wanted to go. I remember when I realized that he wasn't purchasing even my birthday gifts he would call my sister and tell my sister to do it for for him. So there was no thought behind it. And even to this day probably I know up until I saw his passport paperwork a few a couple years ago, um he was still getting my birthday wrong. But you know I giggled it off I laughed it off you know even though because I couldn't be a hundred percent mad because he thought my birthday was the day before so he always said that my birthday was October 26th instead of October 27. So I didn't think it wasn't a big thing to me then but I had to think about it later about you know how is it that you love me and you don't know my birthday after all this time. I've given you all these children and some people will say that small but for me that's a big thing after so many years because I didn't forget yeah so you know so those type of things you know I I last them all so the signs were there.

SPEAKER_00: 39:42

The signs were there I just brushed them off as nothing I had too many bigger things going on like bring out as illness and I needed to make sure that that she saw the joyous joyous side of me and everyone else needed to see the joy that I had in me when I was really tearing up inside that's what I was thinking in the book it said you were bleeding inside that you could not see the bruises on the outside like most people like domestic violence you can see the bruises in your case it said that you were bleeding on the inside but the the thing about this no one could tell because you were happy you were good about your life you were I mean according to your book it no one could ever tell that you were going through the things that you were going through.

SPEAKER_01: 40:34

Still very successful in a lot of things that I was doing in my life um I never published you know I never published it I never put it out there on social media or anywhere else. I dare not tell anybody you know about the things that I was going through with my family. I dare not speak ill of my husband at all so you could you could not tell that there was something going on and I didn't show it. You know I smile to keep from crying some of the times and then when I get home I would then cry or you know just go into my own little quiet space and write um one of my Muslim sisters was by my side a lot of the time um Taliba she saw some of it um she she reached out to me often she talked to me often she was one of those that I could go to and I could talk to and I could provide in um about some of the things about some of the things that um I was going through but I dare not tell her everything either I dare not tell her everything because I didn't feel I I could and then years later years later she told me that I th that she um that we were talking and that she I thought I had hung up the phone and she could hear him talking to me in the background belittling cursing me out or talking to me any kind of way. And I would not say anything back. She said she had to hang up the phone so quickly um at that time when she heard that and um cried when she told me I was like oh my God and and she said she cried too she she and she began to tell me to read the book this is my Muslim sister. She began to tell me to read the book of Psalms every day. She she told me because I was praying that God just fixed my husband like God please fix my husband please fix my husband and I would pray that prayer all the time to fix my husband God fix him and um she encouraged me to pray that God sees my family through all of this. Right. That God continues to give me sanity she said stop praying for your husband tell God to fix you and from that moment on I started reading the book of Psalms and praying that God fixes me. Okay. Whether that's fixing me to be the person that I needed to be for my husband or fixing me to be the woman of God that I needed to be for my family.

SPEAKER_00: 43:48

So from that day forward Well and you said letting people in didn't make you weak it made you whole I I like that so many parts in this book too that I love but it's certain parts I picked out in that part but letting people in didn't make me weak.

SPEAKER_01: 44:07

It made me whole like wow it's so many years for many years uh a person that goes through something like this verbal and our mental abuse then it's embarrassing. It's an embarrassing thing is embarrassing especially when you look and you're so successful everywhere else what they see is a successful woman a successful family. We created businesses together all they saw is that unity and to be able to to to to say that is it's embarrassing. It made me feel small to think about it. But then one day like I said when speaking with Taliba my mind began to shift you know um I started that going to church not because I joined it um my son um Xavier He um asked, could he join the church? He had been going over to the church um with my sister, Andrea. Um he wanted to sing in the choir. Had such a beautiful voice. He wanted to sing in the choir. So he said, um, he said, Mom, I want to join the church. And I said, Boy, you're last name, Mohammed. You want to join the church, you sure? I said, uh, oh, I don't know what your dad's gonna say about this. He said he wanted to join the church once that I said, Well, Xaviern, um, you can you can join the church if you go down by yourself to join the church. I'm not going with you. I'm all holding down. I said, Well, why do you want to church join the church? He said, I want to sing in the church choir. I said, Well, I did that as a little girl. And so I see nothing wrong with it. So, yes, if you do it yourself, then yeah, you can you can join the church. And so I was going there just to to listen. But when he joined the church, and the pastor, Pastor Stanley asked him, did he believe in God? And he said, Yes, because I know that my mom would have lost my mind, lost her mind if there was no God. I know. Why not? So you think that your children don't see, yeah, but they do they do see. They may not speak on it, they may not know what it is, but they they see because we were still in the same household then. And they could see, and he said, Oh, my mom would have lost her mind if it was something. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 46:48

That's so sweet, that's so sweet. And I was looking, um, because you you at some point you had started to sing too, but then you stopped singing because you were going through all of this stuff. You completely stopped singing. You had no more joy, you felt like you had no more joy. You know, your voice felt you so much joy, and then with that happening in your life, it's like it just beat you down mentally so badly.

SPEAKER_01: 47:16

Not just mentally, but physically. Like I literally lost my voice. I couldn't s I couldn't speak. Um the doctor said I would never, ever sing again. Um the doctor said that voc my vocal cords were not for singing and or talking. I had a very um I mean, you couldn't hear me. I could not speak. Um, they said I needed to have surgery, that I had put too much stress on my vocal cords. And so I needed to have surgery in order to be able to speak again. Um, I never had surgery. I trusted that there was a bigger vision for my life other than surgery. So I I just chose the the singing. I said, okay, well, I won't sing again. At least I can talk, because when my voice did start coming back, it came back with this rasp that you hear from time to time, kind of airy, um that you hear today. Um, but it came back. And so I was content with just being able to talk. He said, No screaming at the football games for the boys, know this, because you can move it for good. And so I didn't sing until I joined the church finally. And my sister said, Okay, join it, join the choir. And I said, No, I probably won't be here long. You know, I'm not joining the choir. I said, But if I'm here in a year, then I will join the choir. She held me accountable to that, okay? She held me accountable accountable to joining that choir.

SPEAKER_00: 48:50

Your twin, your twin sister, right? Your twin sister. My twin, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 48:55

She held me accountable to joining that choir. Then they told me I had to audition. Like, what? I don't even know the first church song to audition for this. He said, I need to see where you're gonna be. I said, I'm gonna tell you my I'm an alto. That's where you I'm an alto. So put me over there. He's like, No, you gotta audition. Um, you have to audition. And I know that's where the shift happened, uh, where I began to sing again. Although I shied away, I shied away over there on the alto side, you know, live every voice and sing. That's what I auditioned too. That's what I auditioned. Um, that's what I sung um for that day. And and then I just shifted my way on over there on the second or third row in the choir state until they start moving me closer to the front. We can't hear you. We need you to calm down. So walk on up. So it just that's where it started. And then the pandemic happened. Um, and we couldn't go into the church. Um, and so he had to have a few voices to come in. So I remember many weeks driving down from Tennessee. Like I said, I was on the road, so driving from Tennessee, from Virginia, just to help the choir out. Because I felt like with obedience, that that God will give me grace, you know, for all the things that I had done. And he then somehow I would find my way back to my family, including my husband. I felt that in my spirit, so and and getting those things right, I thought that in my head. And so I was like, God, you know, you I know you don't bless mess, but I'm gonna continue to be obedient in your name for whatever blessing you have for me. Or whatever blessing you have for me. And and I moved to closer.

SPEAKER_00: 51:09

It says such so m it says so much about you. You were it's like you were there for everybody else. It's like you would just you were there for everybody. You suffer yourself. But you was there for everybody else. You wanted to make sure everybody else was happy. And I know earlier you say you would go out, you wouldn't really eat the food, but you would just go out and everybody else would enjoy themselves and and that's just oh my god, that's that's just amazing. I was reading something else in your book that caught my attention. Oh my god. I hope I'm not jumping jumping, but it was something in your book, uh, you have like a daily reading blueprint, like of things that you that you is this something that you do daily, you say daily or perform daily? Right, right. This is where this is where I began.

SPEAKER_01: 52:08

Yeah, this is what I began doing. Um I I began doing this. It wasn't something that I automatically just did, but it was what helped me grow. It was what helped me find my healing. Okay, right. So I started every single day. I still wake up at five o'clock, you know. That's Islam. Islam Islam taught me to wake up every day at 5 a.m. and began prayer or meditation. So I did that. I would wake up and it's at 5 a.m. and meditate, pray. Um, I would get out on that pavement and I would walk every day. I would write down my thoughts every single day. And and I would pray. I would find that that uh verse in Psalms, and we have a little ritual um where we kiss the Quran, the spine, the back, and the front, and put our forehead on that in a in a um before we start reading, and we just open the book. So I would open the book, the book of Psalms, and I would continue reading. And after reading Psalms, I would just do that with the Bible and or the Quran. And wherever I stopped, that meant it was time for me to read that verse. That meant that that verse was what was needed for me that that day. You know, I I chose to eat better, you know, to make sure I was eating, you know, on a daily basis and eating the right things to give me the energy that I needed to get through today. But mostly just reading. You know, when you when we talked earlier this morning when you called me, I said, you said, What were you what are you doing? I was like, I was reading a book. Reading a book, I was reading a book. Because growth, growth is necessary. And growth sometimes you find in a book. So yeah, prayer, journaling, and moving my body. Okay. Got one, two, and three. Moving your body, whether it means that you're stretching, you're doing some yoga. I tried everything, okay. I did yoga, stretching, yoga, walking was my my thing. I would walk for miles.

unknown: 54:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 54:36

What? To gather my thoughts. Together my thoughts and be there um for myself. This is how I showed up for myself, because you have to, you have to show up for yourself. You have to show up for yourself, or or or you will just dissolve. You know, you'll become a person um that you don't want want to be. But most importantly, speaking life into yourself. I started speaking life back into myself, daily affirmations. You are good, you are great, you can do this. You are bigger than your problems. Peace looks good on you. Walk in your becoming. Um, if you are uh friends with me on Facebook, you'll see that I put something motivational out there every day, speaking life into others. Those are the same things. Those things that I speak about, I have to speak to myself. Still daily, right now, I have to remember I am worthy of rest, fun, excitement, life living. I have to remind myself of that.

SPEAKER_00: 56:01

And I love it too, and I this is the same thing about your daily reading. I love the part where it said you protect your boundaries. You protect your boundaries.

SPEAKER_01: 56:13

Absolutely. If someone calls me if someone calls me with something, you know, I I give it a hot second. But if you're if you got something that is not going, I'm I'm hearing something that's off, you know, okay, I'll talk to you later. You know. Because at the end of the day, I love that.

SPEAKER_02: 56:33

Oh my god, I love it.

SPEAKER_01: 56:36

I have love. I have to be there for me. So I can't let your spirit break me down. And even and that doesn't mean that I don't love you, that I'm not friends with you, that I'm not gonna be there to listen or hear you, but I gotta step a little bit back because this might not be the day that I can just soak it all in and then lead you. Sometimes I had to ask my friends, you know, my friends and my family, hey, do you want me just to listen or do you want me to resolve? Or do you want me to tell you what I think? So I honor myself by not choosing chaos. I choose chaos every single day. And and I want that for my friends and family. So, you know, my mother told me once upon a time, as I'm sure others have, if you don't have anything good to say, don't say it. So I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I'm not perfect in that at all.

SPEAKER_00: 57:33

But I love this. I love these daily things that you wrote out, and as you explain them, they just they just come to life. You know, when you explain them, like another one say, Welcome, safe community. The other one says, Red without guilt and repeat tomorrow. So you the same thing over and over. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_01: 57:56

It's it's okay, it's okay. You know, when we talk about the community and how they play a part in it, you have to know that your your community, your safe space is out there. I didn't know that. I didn't believe that. I believed that I had to face this by myself. I hid at my house. I didn't go around, you know, some of my family only other, you know, from you know, my grandmother didn't meet my husband until after we were separated. Wow. We were separated. It he he showed up at a family union when it was in Macon, you know, he showed up there and everybody was like, Is is that they call me Big Sister, okay? Is that Big Sister Husband? Yeah. You know, he showed up. Not that I don't think he really showed up necessarily for me. I don't know why he showed up, honestly, but he showed up after after our separation, after many, many years. This is oh my god. You're you're number 27. I I hid up I hid away. And my purpose for my book was not just to vent, my purpose was the healing blueprint for others to see a way out and that there is a way out, and it's okay to have been there, but but get out. Get out. Realize that you have your sisterhood or your brotherhood because men go through these too. It's not just a woman's thing, men go through this too. So to realize that it's not just you by yourself, that you have a community of people that want to be there for you and will be there for you. Just open your mouth, just cry out to God to show you your path that you need to take and take it boldly, confidently. Take it and don't think that anybody's looking at you funny, because if they are, that's their problem. It's not yours. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:12

I'm listening to you, and you are just such a speaker. You just got it's like you're putting you spitting out so much knowledge and wisdom, and and all I can do is sit here and honestly just listen to you because it's just so real. I can feel what you're saying. It's so real.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:31

Um it is real. It is, it is, it's definitely real, it's real, and and my hopes that there is someone that's out there that hears this and will soak it in and and um find their voice again. I I I I pray that in putting myself on the forefront, that it heals someone, that it protects them, that it covers them and shows them that that they are not alone. I show up today as the healed version of myself.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:10

That's what I was gonna answer. You have a daily heal, you have a daily practice, don't you? That was my question. I you have a daily practice.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:19

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep. I I show up as the healed version. And healed doesn't really mean that you still don't feel. Healed doesn't mean that you still may not go through something. That means that you know what to do to get over that something. Losing that child will be with me for the rest of my life. She was a light when there was darkness. Okay? She was a true light, but she gave me so much light that is resonating through me today that I want to give to everyone else. I want to I want to remind them of her light, of her light. And like I said, I hope that they see it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:05

Mm-hmm. Well, you are I'm I I keep saying it, but you are I can't help but listen, you know, to what you're saying because the words that you're that the Lord is giving you to say, they are so they're packed with wisdom. They're they're wisdom words, and and if someone would listen to someone that's actually been through this, because I I'm going back to your book, a part in your book where you were where you say how your prayers when you prayed, there wasn't those kind of prayers that people would expect. There would be the the groaning and the that kind of prayer. It would be like the perfect prayer. They can't I'm trying to remember without looking at my notes over here. It wouldn't be those perfect prayers, but it would be just a go ahead. You you got it, you go ahead.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:58

You know, you know, so when you hear other people pray, you know, it sounds so good. They know the right words to say. But when you're going through something, when you're going through something, those prayers aren't perfect. You know, I used to always think to myself that I didn't know did not know how to pray. But what I found out, it was just speaking to God. Right. You know, that's what prayer is. It's just speaking to God. Yes, He knows our heart, but putting it out there so that you know your heart. So I would just, it didn't look good all the time. I I would stumble over words, but it would be from the heart. It would be it would be from the heart when I asked God to protect my children from whatever it is seen and unseen. When I when I asked God to heal my daughter or protect or take the pain away, you know, I asked for God to take the pain away. You know, I didn't know what that was gonna look like. I cried. I cried. But I watched my daughter sit sit frill on the side of the bed in pain and say, Mommy, mommy, as a grown woman, mommy, mommy, when you just rubbed my back, I hurt so much. Oh my god. You know, so rubbing her back and singing to her. She loved to hear me sing to her, no matter what my voice sounds like. But she loved the song. She loved Thanks for my child. That was the song You love Thanks for My Child. And every now and then you'll see uh post it because I'm in thoughts of her. But she loved that song, and um, yeah, I would um sing that song for her, and I did. I sung that song at her hospital boy, and I rubbed back and I said, God, take the pain away. And I told God, thank you. Because it's a big thing to be grace, you can ask for a lot, right? Right? You can keep asking and keep asking and keep asking. But we have to be grateful. We have to be thankful. So thanks for my child was even as I was praying, I was going, Thanks for my child. Thanks for my child.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:21

However the future is living through you too, that she she uh she's living through you. Like that's what I read in your book, that she she lives through you through you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:34

Mm-hmm. Yes, she's living through me. Like I said, the the the foundation, um, the do-it-for-brief foundation has been re-established. Um, we are working hard to make sure um that others know about um bone marrow disorders, and we want to help. We want to help those that are struggling. Um, it cost a lot of money um to to get a transplant. And most people don't know that it cost a lot of money to get a transplant. But my ex-husband and I had to come together and and with my twin sister and make sure that her house didn't go under, that her house wasn't foreclosed on on, that the light stayed on, but also take care of the bills where Brianna had to stay once she was released from the hospital. So, yeah, so her foundation is up for that purposes. We want to make sure that others get the help that they need when they get ready to have, um, get ready to get a tr a transplant. We want to make sure that the funding is gonna be there for that. We want to make sure that the knowledge is out there so that we can be more educated. But not only that, not only that, she lives through me because she she one of her last few things that she said to me before she lost her speech was to live. She said, Live, mom, you deserve it. After all this time, live, you've raised us and we're gonna be okay. But you need to live. And uh she said, I love to see you smile. And I'm just going on. Those are words that I I I live with every day. So every step that I take, you'll see I'll ha even on my post, I'll put I'll hashtag do it for brief. Every step that I take, I know that she's watching, that she's watching, and that I need to walk in my purpose. Walk right in in my healing. I need to make sure that not only the things that she saw that needed to happen happens, but the things that I saw for me need to happen, that the things that that she saw or that we see in her brothers are happening. So I remind them that she, even though she was my child, I was her mother. But even in the way that I teach them or that the way that I continue to mold them, comes from her living, right, walking in excellence. She's my strength, she's she's definitely my joy. And because of her act of love, I'm gonna give that love back to everyone else. And whether it's in my training, mentoring, speaking to them, helping them build their businesses, whatever, it's gonna it's gonna resonate that I'm walking in the light of my child. Don't get me wrong, I give honor to God for everything that He has given me, every single thing, including the voice in my child, and now my voice. Amen.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:06

Let me say like Amy Amen in the Quran. Do you pronounce it differently or is it the same way? It's amen. Amen. Okay. Amen. Not amen.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:20

But you can say it any way that you want to say it because it is still recognized by the Almighty God.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:25

So Right. And I just love that. I was I was wondering how you how you pronounce it though. And it says Amen. Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:33

So so a lot of times when we pray um at the end of our prayer, we say we s we actually kind of sing it a little bit. It's amen. So we'll kind of sing it at the end of the prayer.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:46

You have a beautiful voice.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:48

God is good. God is good because he gave it to you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:50

You got a beautiful voice. You really do. You got a beautiful voice. It carries a good tune, I can tell. It's just beautiful.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:59

God is good. God is good. I recovered. It's not what it used to be, but God knows it's what it's supposed to be. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:08

And I'm thankful you didn't help me get that surgery that the doctor was talking about. I would have never known that. Whoa. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:10:15

And I never had it. You know, it was it was really strange because this um this doctor, the specialist that I um went to um at the ear, nose and throat doctor, um he said, Well, your vocal cords were not first speaking. It's the first time I ever heard anything like that in my life. He said, It's like swallowing. He said, But when you swallow, I could see the your vocal cords look like rubber bands that are damaged. So you think about a rubber band that stretches, and then you stretch it so far the next time you stretch it's weaker. So he could see that my vocal cords were that weak. That's how he explained it to me. And it's been so many years ago, but I remember it because it's it's been I don't know, 21 years ago.

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:07

Before I stress got away of good you, man, that stress. But anyway, Andrea, we can we do a part two? I hope we can.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:21

Absolutely, absolutely. I'd be glad to. Anytime you just let me know. Um, I know this was wonderful. I I really do appreciate you having me on here and I um, you know, talking about my book, but also just letting me speak about, you know, just whatever my heart felt at the time. Um you know, this was unrehearsed, so I was not prepared, but I can only give you who I am. So the p you know, they said always be ready, right?

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:53

I just love how you're speak you're speaking and you you are what do you call it? Uh one one of the speakers that speak. It seems like that's what you do. You know how to speak, and you speak very well, and you speak enough for people to just listen because all I could do was listen to you. And the things that you were saying was so beautiful.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:16

I went on a little I went on a short little mini tour um promoting the book and I had the book there, and someone asked me, was I a speaker? And I said, No, I'm not a speaker, I'm just an author.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:27

I'm just that seems like it though. It seems like it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:33

I had to rewind. Like I say, your community poison to you also. That young lady she told me, she said, You are an author, you're a speaker. She said, so honest. So, like I said, I I'm imperfect in in some things, and I'm still growing. Like I said, healing. I made little of it. I said, Oh, I'm just an author. She said, No, you're more than an author, you are a speaker. You've seen late to God be the glory. I am available for speaking engagements for sure. I I actually said, you know, you're right about that. Um, you're right about that. Um, and I will own it. So anybody need me for a speaking event engagement, please don't hesitate to give me a call um at any time, 478-718-4001. I will happily come and speak at at your engagement. Um to tell my stuff.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:29

And on that note, though, I want I want you to give a place where people can uh contact you so I can put it in in the write-up, of course, but I want people to know where they can contact you and they can get your book off of Amazon, of course. Is it is it anywhere else other than Amazon?

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:47

It's only on Amazon, so so I'm gonna go ahead and say um so you can actually contact me on social media, um, Andrea Bridges on social media. Okay, Andrea Bridges, you'll see me with the book in my hand on my page. You can contact me there. There's a lot of things that I have going on right now in my life. Again, this book is on Amazon. You can get a um the digital version of it, or you can get it on sale. The digital version is on sale right now. So if you want to just get an um electronic copy, you can do that at Amazon. Andrea Mohammed. Andrea Mohammed, I lost my voice, is there. Um, I have re-established my um tax um preparation business. So if you want to tap in and get your taxes done, um A B Consultant and Tax Pros um is back alive as A B Consulting and Business Solutions. Okay, A B Consultant and Business Solutions is 10 of us. We'll be more than happy to get you on, get you on board and get you get your business set up properly and prepared properly as well. So I am here for that. You can contact me again at 478-718-4001. Or AB Consultant and Tax Pros on social media, a b uh consultant and taxprose at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:07

Whoo! That's a lot. I'm gonna put it in the write-up. But part two, we're gonna speak about because we're not we're not we're not done with you. Not done with not done with Andrea Bridges yet, y'all. I mean, I'm sitting here, I I can just sit here and just listen to her. I I she can read a paper bag, a a book, uh, a paper, what you call it, a potato a potato bag, a paper bag. And I'll be sitting here listening. But um, we're not done with Andrea Bridges. She's gonna come back for part two because as you just heard she got her own they got her she had our own tax own tax business, right? Own tax business. Right. She has her own tax uh consulting business and uh she just got several several more things she's gotta talk about. So unfortunately we couldn't put it all here, but hey, she's coming back for part two.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16:06

I can't wait for you to call me and let me know you're ready. So I will be here for you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:10

Oh, thank you so much. I so enjoy it so much. I cannot explain how much I enjoyed listening to you. It is I remember Laura used to just, my sister Laura, she used to used to just read. I have her read to me all the time. She used to read, I just sit there and listen to her because she was good. But sitting here listening to you, I can tell you're some kind of speaker. I don't know what kind, but you are.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16:38

Well, I'm claiming that claiming that I receive it in the name of the Holy Father himself. So I receive that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:46

And you're good. That's the thing. You're really good. I mean, you you were explaining all of this these different things, and I'm like, wow. And you went through that um the daily thing over there, and you uh it was just perfect. You just started talking about different stuff. I was like, oh my God. So I really appreciate you coming on the show. Oh my god, thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17:10

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17:12

Thank you. And we're gonna definitely have you on a part two with within a week because we didn't let it go too long. So within a week, we're gonna try to have you back on here to talk about your business the other businesses and stuff. But again, we thank you, and I thank you all for your time for listening to uh Andrea Mohammed uh talk about her book. Um I lost my voice, and again, it's over at Amazon. Yeah, I when I tell you this is a good book, once you start reading it, all you gotta do is just start. Just start reading it because you cannot put it down. It's one of those kind of books like, okay, what's on the next page with next, you know? So check it out, and when you do check it out, support her, uh give her a review. You it's five stars. If I can give more stars, I would give them more stars. But the book is excellent. It's like uh it should be a best seller. It is so good, it's not too long, it is beautiful, and again, thank you so much, Andrew. Thank you. Have a wonderful day. Have a wonderful day, everyone. Thank you, and we're gonna say later. So thanks again, and we will see you in podcast land because this would be out, and everyone would get a chance to hear it shortly. Thank you.

unknown: 1:18:38

Thank you.