Hector Bravo UNHINGED
Official Hector Bravo Podcast
Hector Bravo UNHINGED
From Jamaica to California: A Journey of Resilience
Rupert Francis shares his remarkable journey from growing up in Jamaica as the son of a politician to finding his way in America through gang life, incarceration, and ultimately finding purpose through fatherhood and personal growth.
• Born in Ocho Rios, Jamaica where his father was a Speaker of the House for the Jamaican Labor Party
• Fled Jamaica at age 7 after men attempted to kidnap his sister
• Relocated to California where he became involved with Crip gang members by age 10
• Was arrested at 18 for a theft that escalated to felony charges when his co-defendant testified against him
• Witnessed his best friend being murdered and held him as he died
• Found transformation through the birth of his daughter who gave him genuine emotion "for the first time"
• Survived a motorcycle crash that left him unable to walk for two years
• Currently works security at a psychiatric facility while pursuing MMA training
• Aspires to attend law school and mentor youth facing similar challenges
Don't use your position in life as an excuse. Weaponize it as energy. Different levels require different versions of yourself. The pain is for a reason—it will reveal you to your higher self, but you have to hold on for that to happen.
Hector Bravo. Unhinged Chaos is now in session. Jamaica Ocho Rios of all places, beautiful country, came to Southern California, grounded his roots and has a whole life of experience. We're about to dive in. What up, rupert?
Speaker 2:How you doing, sir.
Speaker 1:Good, how about yourself, man?
Speaker 2:I'm doing well. Thanks for having me here today.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you're here, dude. How was the drive? Any traffic? No, it was smooth. It was smooth, that's good, dude. So let's jump right into Jamaica. Yes, sir, were you born?
Speaker 2:there? Yes, I was born there. What city? I was born in St Ann's, but, from my memory, grew up in Ocho Rios uptown area and there my life unfolded.
Speaker 1:Where is Ocho Rios in comparison to Negril and to Kingston, like on the map?
Speaker 2:You know what? I'll be honest with you. You couldn't even tell you that, really couldn't tell you that. That leads to more to that story later on.
Speaker 1:But what type of um like was there buildings, villages. What type of like scenery was there?
Speaker 2:dirt roads, dirt roads um homes, but miles apart Drown in the bushes. You know we like to call, we call them gullies, you know. And just my school and the beach. We were very excluded. My father was a member of the JLP household, so therefore you know he had to keep us hidden. We moved homes quite often, but he kept us in school.
Speaker 1:You mentioned that your father was part of the like politician. Yes, how many different parties were there?
Speaker 2:Two different parties. So in Jamaica you have JLP, jamaican Labor Party, pnp, people's National Party. My dad was the Speaker of the House for JLP.
Speaker 1:So, from your memory, aside from the politicians, was there also a law enforcement presence in that area?
Speaker 2:Law enforcement.
Speaker 1:I never saw him.
Speaker 2:I always saw my dad's men. I was, you know, whenever he was around, he was with a lot of men armed. They have guns, yes, they have guns. My dad's a retired captain. So for men armed, they have guns. Yes, they had guns, my dad's retired captain. So for the longest I didn't even know my dad's name, that everybody calls him captain, uh, captain francis, um, or capo for short, um, and that's what I remember now.
Speaker 1:We were talking earlier and you mentioned you grew up on the higher side of the poor side. What does that mean?
Speaker 2:meaning we had a big home. We had a big home. We had a big home, but it wasn't really much in it. You know, my dad, my dad was always on the road. You know, elections or whatever he was involved in, he was always on the road. So I was always with a nanny, so I was just always in the streets, just gone. Was your mother present? No, she lived in. She was here at the time. Okay, she was here in America at the time. Okay, uh, she was here in america, um at the time known as foreign um. You know, I spoke to her very, uh, very rarely on the phone. Um didn't start living with her until I came here. Did you have siblings? Uh, yes, I'm one of 13 kids. One of 13 kids?
Speaker 2:yes, uh, eight girls, four boys same mom and same dad no, my dad, I to say had his first child at 16. Okay, had me at 41.
Speaker 1:So to give you a but were you growing up in a household of 13?
Speaker 2:No seven. Household of seven. When we came here it was with the last seven. My dad was about 49, 50 years old.
Speaker 1:Okay, your dad was a busy man, aside from being a politician, yes, sir. And what, how many levels of levels of status are there? Because you said like, let's talk about, like the poor, poor, and then to the rich, rich, how many levels in between?
Speaker 2:I don't think it's too many levels in between. As I said before, you know we had more, but now, in retrospect, when I I think about it, I'm like it really wasn't anything. You know I'm thinking back to a tv. You know, dining room set bed, but at that time, you know when people are living in. You know the roof is a tin, tin foil. You know the sides of it is clay or whatever it may have been at the time.
Speaker 1:Um, we were on top. Did you ever visit those types of neighborhoods like maybe your friends or anything Once?
Speaker 2:Once we had to very hastily relocate, so that's the only time I remember going to anything less than the big walls I was used to. Then, very shortly after that, we jumped on a plane and got out of there.
Speaker 1:Can you talk about? Was there a specific reason?
Speaker 2:Yes, can you talk about. Was there a specific reason? Yes, a specific reason was this night in particular, two men came to try to kidnap my sister my mom was actually there at the time so she could actually attest to the story Myself, my mom, the nanny and one other sibling. We had to pull her back in the home. They had her. They were trying to pull her out the window so actively we pulled her back in through the window and we barricaded ourselves in. My dad's room, had an extra metal fence in there that we were able to lock, and I just remember us just screaming. We're screaming for the. We had a caretaker he took care of like. He lived in the bottom house. We called it the bottom house. It was another home we owned, like a mile even further down from our house. So we're screaming for his name, but he never came. Eventually we were in there screaming for hours. My dad eventually came, came with a group of men, declared the home, then after that we shortly left.
Speaker 1:Who are those guys?
Speaker 2:Opp we shortly left. Who were those guys?
Speaker 1:Opposition of your dad. As a result, I think so.
Speaker 2:And that was one of my things with my dad growing up. Even still, to this day, he never talks about anything. All the stories I've gotten were through my aunt yeah, little luncheons. She actually stays out here in San Diego, but my dad never talks about anything.
Speaker 1:Did your aunt specifically speak on that situation? No, no.
Speaker 2:No about anything. Did your aunt specifically speak on that situation? No, no, no. Just that a lot of people wanted my dad. You know, damn, how old were you at that time? That time, I want to say I was either six or seven.
Speaker 1:That's pretty traumatizing man to be a six or seven-year-old kid who's seen your sister about to be kidnapped by two men.
Speaker 2:I saw a lot of incidents like that. I've seen kids One time in particular, walking to KFC with my dad. I saw a kid getting stoned in the street KFC where In Jamaica.
Speaker 1:I didn't even know that they had a KFC in Jamaica man.
Speaker 2:If you're anybody, you're going to be eating in KFC at that period of time. You have money. It was considered a fancy restaurant. What year are we talking? What's your timeframe? Fancy restaurant? What year are we talking? What's your time frame? Nine 2000, 1999 damn.
Speaker 1:Okay, because I know, shortly after we came here, that's when 9-11 happened. Okay, so, dude. So to me it seems like you were living well, yes, well over there, yes, with the unfortunate threat of bad guys. Yes, you said you. What did you say?
Speaker 2:you saw somebody get stoned a child, a kid, um, not sure buried. No, no, no, not buried anything. I just saw it was like a homeless dude and he was just throwing rocks at him. He was just throwing big boulders at him and I remember, you know, tugging on my dad like, hey, let's look what's going on. And my dad just told me, come on, mind your business, let's go damn, yeah, damn.
Speaker 1:Now what was that Local?
Speaker 2:local town, just local town, local town. We had to have been somewhere in Ocho Rios head to KFC when that happened. But a lot of incidents took place like that, where you know you would just be quiet. You know, I remember a period of time where my dad sorry pop he was, you know, he was at some. He took me to some lady's house.
Speaker 2:Later found out he was my brother's mom's house and I was in the pickup truck. My dad was inside her house. I heard arguing, something was going on and some other lady came out of the house and she came to me in the truck and she started choking me. She was damn near choking me to death and she was asking where my dad's gun was. I was the only person that knew where my dad's gun was, because every time he needed it I had to go get it. So could you imagine? You know I'm a little kid and I'm running with a big .45. I knew to keep it to the floor, finger off the trigger and I would hand it to him. Not at all, I thought I was going to die that day, right, but I still had that level of loyalty.
Speaker 1:That's loyalty, man, even as a child.
Speaker 2:So you know, I think now to my daughter and I know that same loyalty exists in her towards me. Loyalty is rare, dude, it's rare. Loyalty is extremely rare. You can't teach it. It's in you or it's not.
Speaker 1:Did you have to get your dad's gun numerous times, Numerous times?
Speaker 2:yes, he taught me to shoot, did you ever see him?
Speaker 2:use it. No, I've only seen him use knives. But we had livestock. We had pigs, chickens, goats. That was another thing too. That was traumatic for me I never spoke about Just. You know, I used to play in the pig pen. You know these are my friends. I was feeding them. You know, I was naming them. They'd break out. I go get them last one up. And one day I saw my dad take him and string him up to the tree right in the throat, slit his neck and, um, you know, having to look at that, dissociate, like you know.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's a part of nature, it's supposed to happen looking back in hindsight, uh, do you think that is an appropriate thing to do when you see a man stoning, a child in jamaica? Would you change anything? Or, looking back in hindsight, I would definitely I would definitely change that.
Speaker 2:Um, although as a child I thought nothing was wrong with it. I just thought it was just you know but what about now?
Speaker 1:of course? What would you do? Intervene?
Speaker 2:I would intervene for sure, for sure. It was a lot, a lot of things I would have intervened on. But you know, as a boy child you were made to just.
Speaker 1:Is that how you carry yourself now through life? If you see something that needs to be intervened, you'll, you'll step up and do it.
Speaker 2:That's why I'm here now, and it sucks sometimes because it's like man, why do I give a fuck, why do I care? Right, you know, because, again, I understand nature and, unfortunately, some things it's going to sound. It might sound, you know, crude, but some things need to die in order for there's no life to flourish.
Speaker 1:This is uh, hector, bravo, unhinged, you can say whatever you want, man. Uh, I want to elaborate more on you understand nature, because I understand nature as well certain things in nature that were born into this life ultimately just to be food.
Speaker 2:It is their place. Their place is food on the ecosystem, and I feel the same with us.
Speaker 1:Some people are just their place is food, but would you agree that also? Nature is brutal? Yes, and it doesn't.
Speaker 2:it has no favorites. It has no, it is just what it is, and that's the side I don't want to look at people as, because sometimes I want to feel that way, like man. It is what it is. Some people are just supposed to die. You know you're fooled, especially if you're presenting yourself that way.
Speaker 1:Would you agree that usually the weak do not survive in nature? They don't survive.
Speaker 2:They don't In any level of nature. They don't survive.
Speaker 1:What characteristics would you define as a strong individual?
Speaker 2:Character. Character to me are attributes that you can depend on when you come under pressure, when you come under fire. That allows you to still be human. Some people shut down and they, you know, some people are just trained to go. So, you know, part of their brain shuts down and they're just able to do just the most horrible things. But I think, especially in those situations, you have to be able to think and have compassion. And that's what led me down the path on which I am today, because I still have that compassion in me when, like I said, most times, I just, I just don't want to give a fuck, but I can't, Right, you know, which leads to it being a calling right. Certain people, fortunately, how you feel doesn't matter how you feel. If you're called to do it, right, you know it's either you're gonna listen or you're gonna. Um, the guilt might consume you and then everything around you burns down that's fucking gold dude.
Speaker 1:yes, sir, so I credit you because you experienced a lot of trauma at a very young age. To me it's a foreign country To you, it's your hometown yes, your homeland, but as a result of everything you endured, did that change the way you view the world?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I view the world through a weird lens. Like I said, I learned a a weird lens. Um, like I said, I had to unlearn a lot of things like what? Um? Homophobia, for one I had to unlearn. I was very homophobic even as a young child.
Speaker 1:okay, and then in the time frame as well violently homophobic, like I would see those things.
Speaker 2:I would want to be violent as a child because it's what I saw where do you think that ain't, that's what you saw it.
Speaker 1:Where do you think?
Speaker 2:okay, I'm home from jamaica at that time. You know I'm not sure about today. I haven't been home in 20 years. Okay, still not allowed back. I hope to make it there one day. But no, that's good to hear, man, that people can undo certain life perspectives and or what do you call those, um you know, biases yes, certain, certain biases, um, like I said, that were um taught to me, you know, and I thought, okay, this is how it is what it's supposed to be like, all right what advice do you?
Speaker 1:have somebody that's younger and they think, wow, that's just the way it's supposed to be um, my advice is understanding, uh, yourself.
Speaker 2:You're not the self you portray to the world, the self you go to sleep at night. You know who you are and you know your truth and understanding that we're all different and it's okay to be you. You'll find your people eventually. Especially as a child, I feel like they learn that nasty trait right away. And clicking up and separating from what's deemed weird, right? Which brings me to my question what exactly is weird Right? What is crazy Right? Because my mindset differs from you, right? We like to throw these labels on people because we simply don't understand them, and rather than getting to understand them, I do away with them. And then a lot of villain arcs start that way. True, either they're going to be the hero.
Speaker 1:You're riding the money, dude, you're knocking these questions out of the park man. So do you think societal norms play a role in this behavior? And you said, kids learn it at a very young age? I mean. I got a young daughter. You got a young daughter, so this is something that we would probably rather have them hear.
Speaker 2:Oh, she hears it and she's going to hear this you know, because she is my daughter and I know her.
Speaker 2:She's a bit of a follower and I tell her that You're a follower Storm. But guess what? Because one day she asked me dad just don't understand, why can't I just do whatever I want to do? And whereas when I was a child, when most of her children, right, would be shooed away uh yeah, I have these conversations with her absolutely I said um well, in order to do what you want to do in life, you have to have a teacher. Right, I'm your teacher. Let me teach you. One day, when I feel you're able to, you can do the rest. Really.
Speaker 1:Like, yeah, that's money, dude, that's gold, that's it. And it's funny because I'm drawn to people that are good fathers, dude, yes. And like I feel drawn to you and before I even got to, as I'm getting to know you now, I'm like, dude, communication is huge with your children. Do you think that America lacks parenting and children communicating?
Speaker 2:Definitely we feel like a child should stay in their place. No, that is a mind. That is a different world. You know how people often say we all, oh, he's living in another world. Yes, he is, because the world through his lens is different. So therefore, that is a different world. That child is a different world. It's speaking to you. They say children are closest to God. Right, when my child speaks I don't let her influence me, like she's God, but when she speaks it's the purest thing. I've ever heard Facts and I'm talking to it Facts. I'm connected to something through it. That's me. Yeah, you know. So I just look at it different. Whereas, you know, my father chose to, which I get you had seven children, 13, 13, but when we arrived at seven, I get it, you're 49, 50, because in just 10 years he got his phd you know the way I look at it, man, and I know you don't blame your father.
Speaker 1:The same way I don't blame my father. I look at it as generations. Right, I'm sure they did better than what was taught to them by their father, to us. But now we get to give that to our offspring and hopefully they can do even do better than us.
Speaker 2:And that's the hope. Right, you know, my dad's father wasn't there, so he was just operating on what he, what he knew. Right, I always say, at least he was just operating on what he knew. Right, I always say, at least he was there. You know well my dad's me, right, you know, yeah, certain things were missing, but she was still there, true, you know.
Speaker 1:Where did you guys relocate to when you came from over there Came from.
Speaker 2:Jamaica to Florida. We drove from Florida to California. No way dude. Yep, I want to say it was a Ford Focus hatchback. Seven kids no way man. Yeah, I was on an adventure. We were stopping in certain states at the rest stops showering up. But you know, coming from Jamaica, dirt roads right to America and you're just seeing all this greenery. I'm thinking, wow, was that your first time to America? My first time to America, my first time, what did you think? It was like heaven on earth. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I was naive to the real of what I've come to know and experience and what has happened to me in my story, but at that point in time, as a child, through my lens, it was the most beautiful thing.
Speaker 1:It was like a wonderland. With that being said, do you believe that a lot of americans today are um, what's the word? I'm ungrateful? Yeah, that's the easy word. That's the easy word. Do you believe they're um spoiled? Yeah, pretty much along the lines of like. Do you believe that they act the way they do because they don't realize how bad it can be in other?
Speaker 2:places, Of course Listen. If someone knew for what their belief was, their arm would be chopped off next.
Speaker 1:No, you're right. Do you think they would speak?
Speaker 2:up. No, you're right, listen, they're going to crack like a duck. They're going to want like a duck. They're going gonna get in line.
Speaker 1:Absolutely unfortunately, this is the greatest country on earth, correct. Have the freedom to, you know, say how we feel. Even politics aside and all the shenanigans we see on television and on the social media, this is still the best, greatest place to be and yeah, it's not as bad as some people make it out. Yes, sir, it's not as a matter fact, they're probably making it worse in their own head and externally than it has to be. Yes, first world problems is what we call it, I'm telling you.
Speaker 2:That's why I'm glad to have had that experience Right and coming from where I come from, because I know. Oh you're extremely grateful man. I am grateful.
Speaker 1:I am American man. Do you have a? Could you seem proud, though, of your Jamaican heritage? Of course you can't forget where you came from.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:have like a Jamaican flag, like at your house or something.
Speaker 2:Sure do, on my wall in my room. There you go. Yes, sir, that's good, and I teach my daughter about it. She's like damn Jamaican, right? You sure are that. You know, at the end of the day, boots land on the ground here. No, they don't see no Jamaican flag, they see American in front of them. Right, so you know, I get in line as an American Dude.
Speaker 1:I respect the shit out of that man being former military, because I understand man. It's a calling, it's patriotism to the country.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right, because my heritage comes from Mexico. Yes, but at At the end of the fucking day, I'm American dude. Yes, sir, to the end.
Speaker 2:Yes, sir. Thank you for your service To the bloody end. Thank you. And sometimes you know most people don't want that, but still they're there. I think they fear it. What is fear? Right Now, we have to break that down. What exactly is fear? I've come to find that it is my friend. You need fear in order to survive. Nature gave us fear in order to survive. Castillo Amado.
Speaker 1:You are extremely experienced man. How do you view fear?
Speaker 2:That I need it. I need it In any given situation. It heightens my awareness when, without it, you just die. You're not fearful, Well, whatever you know.
Speaker 1:But Do you think that dates back to our primitive primal ages?
Speaker 2:Yes, Right back to our nature, and that's why we're still at it today. Exactly that's why we're still at it and we'll forever be at it. Now it's just taking different shapes and forms and colors and sizes, but it's all the same bird, Right?
Speaker 1:So it took you four days to get to California. Where did you touch down at?
Speaker 2:Ontario to a trailer park lamplighters. I mean, yeah, the lamplighters trailer park.
Speaker 1:And did you eventually get into school right away?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we got into school right away. Like I said, my dad sat me down. Hey man, it's what it is, you're normal. You're normal. Now you're going to school and I'm sitting there like because in jamaica I remember there were times, um, I'd be left at bars and you know, I'm waiting for people to get drunk and leave their cigarettes half lit, their beers half full, and I'd grab still beer and cigarettes and I'm a little kid, ducked off and drinking, just hanging out. How did you?
Speaker 1:feel smoking and drinking. At a very young age, I felt like I was taking the edge off.
Speaker 2:My dad used to always say, son, once you've acquired a taste for a beer, you've become a man. And I'm like. Well, you know, I thought at that time, I thought I was a man.
Speaker 1:Hey guys, consider becoming a patron, where you will get first exclusive dibs on the video before it airs to the public and you'll get to ask the guest special questions that you have in mind. So that's also another way to support the channel. Thank you, guys, appreciate all of you. Keep pushing forward. Make sure you hit that link in the description below Right. Well, I'm an alcoholic man. I got 14 years of sobriety, but at one point I was drinking a beer with my dad and I thought, oh, I made it, I'm a man, but looking back in hindsight, that's not a man.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. No, I'm sure you would agree. Yes, I'm there now I I don't drink, correct?
Speaker 1:you know that's awesome dude.
Speaker 2:Um, you know when, when? Um, I also have a sister. Uh, rest peace to my sister, janine. Um, we lost her. A drunk driver hit her on a 10 freeway. Um snapped her neck on impact. Sorry to hear that man. Sorry for your loss, dude. So it started from a young age. I do remember very lightly. I do remember going to her funeral. Okay, that's it.
Speaker 1:No, these topics that we're talking about are very serious and very real, definitely.
Speaker 2:They affect everyday people, facts, our actions. We don't know the end result and who it would affect.
Speaker 1:What do you think plays a role in that? What do you think plays a role in people doing bad behavior, not caring about other people's?
Speaker 2:Feeling bad for themselves, self-pity. Therefore, it gives them an outlet, an excuse to do what it is they want to do what about lack of direction, immaturity, lack of guidance?
Speaker 2:that's who they can use that to fuel like well, I never had anyone, you know, falls into the self-pity the excuses I never had anyone. No one showed me. Um, I used it, you know, till this day I'm 33 years old through texts. I'm glad we've said it now, but my parents have never physically told me they love me. We don't hug, we handshake. So therefore, when I was growing up, I thought my parents hated me. That was my belief system. So there, that's how I found myself in the streets first. People that told me they loved me were gang members, unfortunately how old were you?
Speaker 2:in what year? I was about nine or ten, fifth grade in ont In Ontario, in Rancho. At this point I was in the streets Rancho Cucamonga, yep. We went to Rancho from Ontario, moved to an apartment and there I started hanging out with the Crips man.
Speaker 1:The Crips yes, sir, all right, this story's going to get juicy man. Because I didn't want to bother to ask you prior, right, and I'm like all right, cool, let's get to talking. So, youngster ranch kookamonga, the cribs man, what kind of set were they or what was their names? So?
Speaker 2:these, these group of gentlemen, were coming from all over la, okay, um, a lot of cliques that were rancho at the time, right, because a lot of people would try to downplay like man, you're in the ie ranch, kookamonga, it's beautiful, it is beautiful, but guess what they have? They have section eight, like everywhere else absolutely, and you know people from all over coming for the housing you know, came there and, um, we were there and I started hanging out with these guys and, um, my best friend growing up, his name was, uh, for the longest I called him ace, but his name is joseph jackson but his gang moniker was ace, yes, ace.
Speaker 1:Were these dudes all wearing blue? Oh, all the time did you begin to?
Speaker 2:start dressing in blue. I did, I did for a long period of time. I, I would talk, talk, like him, the blue I I. He would tell me from the history of the things you know, starting with tookie. Yeah, um, he would break it down to me on a historical level. And here I am coming from jamaica. I don't know anything about American history, right? So this is my first introduction. I'm like, oh, it's like a movie. I'm like whoa, I want to be involved.
Speaker 1:Was your father present during this time?
Speaker 2:He was present, but he worked various jobs. Three or four jobs.
Speaker 1:And he was going to school. Did he ever comment on maybe your appearance? You were starting to dress?
Speaker 2:different, talk different. Oh, all the time he was going to send me back to Jamaica when I got my ear pierced. So you got your ear pierced Right and in Jamaica you know, like I said, the homophobia right you get the ear pierced.
Speaker 1:Correct.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, my dad would have whooped my fucking ass man.
Speaker 1:It went down that day. But you know he didn you get your ear pierced. Why did you get your ear pierced?
Speaker 2:Was everybody else doing it. Everybody else was doing it. Everybody else was sagging their pants, wearing huge shirts, piercing their ears.
Speaker 1:And then, at what point in time did your father see you, and how did that go down?
Speaker 2:He saw me at the points in time I would come home At 10 years old. I'd be gone for two weeks at a time, and he saw your ear. He said come here, man. He saw my ear and he just started cursing me out. You know, y'all turn to think it. So, you know, like a, like a hood I mean not a hood rat, but like a rug rat, yeah, you know, and he's just always at that point in time, the communication was just off. It would just, you know, always tell me. You know you're going to die, you're going to go to jail, you know you're going to get deported.
Speaker 1:So he was attempting.
Speaker 2:He was attempting to yeah, that way. But it was never no explanation, like you know. It was just hey, you're going to get deported, you're going to die, you know you're not going to be nothing. It was just a lot of that. So that's all I heard for a long period of time, and you know.
Speaker 1:Did you feel that you found that love amongst your group of friends?
Speaker 2:Yes, they were the first ones to say you know, I love you, bro. I didn't know what that felt like, so once I heard that, I was willing to do whatever and I started kind of activities, were you guys? Doing robbing houses, home invasions or or burglaries, oh um burglaries so when nobody was home, nobody was home, how would you guys get in um? I would let them in. I was friends with all the marks. No fucking way I could dive into any world you know right um right.
Speaker 1:My dad always had us right reading and writing right, so I was very articulate, holy shit man this is getting interesting because right before you said that, you mentioned like hey, people do things without caring about hurting other people, so you were definitely in a different mindset at that time, definitely, I was thinking completely. What were you thinking during that period of time um coming up?
Speaker 2:these, these guys. No, I didn't care about coming up, I didn't care about any of that. All I all I cared about was these guys, love me, I'm gonna, I'm gonna show them that. You know, wow, dude, yeah, it was. I didn't care about anything. I don't want no money, none of that stuff, just for the love of the game, for love of these guys. You know, I was just for their power, yeah, for their approval. And I told my dad one time we had a sit down man and I told him, from 18 to 23, I was I don't believe in, never believe in taking my own life, but I was trying to get up out of here. I hear you, you know I've been there and so I was just, you know we call it crashing out. I was just crashing out, man, whatever, whatever you want to do that, let's go do it. You know, and that's how I lost my best friend, but we'll get to that were you you consuming substances at this time?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was drinking, I was smoking. Nine, 10 years old, I was drinking and smoking. I'd wake up smoking. I'm talking about first thing I'm opening my eyes to inhaling some weed.
Speaker 1:This is probably not the type of weed that they have nowadays, right? No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:Very different stuff nowadays. I couldn't even tell you, man.
Speaker 1:Exactly People don't understand.
Speaker 2:It's crazy. They got like crystals and shit. It's fucking weird and people think it's natural.
Speaker 1:So you are. Are you going to school? Are you dropping out? No, I'm still going, Are you?
Speaker 2:skipping school. I'm still going, I'm still showing up, I'm still showing up, I'm at school fighting you showing up, I'm at school fighting, you know, I mean raising hell.
Speaker 1:Who are you fighting?
Speaker 2:uh being defined towards staff um, were you guys ever fighting the opposition gangs? Um, no, not, not. Well, yes, at this point, yes, so my friends are older, they're already in um high school at this point. So I'm, I'm leaving middle school and I'm riding my bicycle to the, to the, to the brawl, you know, and I'm trying to find the smallest guy, cause I understand I'm a small guy, so you know, but I'm still going to participate. So, yeah, you know, I, you truly are loyal man. Yeah, yes, yes, and that's what almost screwed me over, man. I just want to, you know, for the other ones out there that are stuck in that lifestyle because of their loyalty. I don't want them to fall before men that are not like them, and it took me almost going to prison for 10 years. One of my best friends stood on the stand and pointed me out, but it was a blessing. Now, in hindsight, no fucking way, dude, I'm with them every day. You know we're chasing the girls.
Speaker 1:This story is getting better and better brand oh, it gets no because you understand that I this podcast helps people. Yes, it reaches the people it needs to reach. Yes, and it reaches the people that are still in the hood, still doing their thing. Yes, but you got to understand what comes with that and the reality of it. Yes, so this friend of yours, how long had he been in your life prior to being on the stand with you?
Speaker 2:Out of eighth grade summer into high school, I met him. You know, I met him through an incident that was happening on campus. But I understood really fast. I needed to find alliances because I was outnumbered. Was he a Crip gang member? No, he was affiliated with the Bloods. His brother was OG from Queen Street. Was he a Blood gang member? No, just a family member.
Speaker 2:So now as I get older, right, you start to learn, because I was led astray. It's not officially from anywhere, okay. No, the guy that grandfathered me in per se, his father, was an og from there, you know, um, so he felt like he could do that. But as I got older and understood politics, who gave you that green light? Right, right.
Speaker 2:So stopped talking to him for a very long time because I really felt like betrayed, like bro, I didn't know anything about this lifestyle and you got me coming on to it like goofy, looking like you know, I didn't know if it was authentic or not. I never knew if it was authentic or not, because here I am in IE and your family's from Inglewood, and you're telling me that's where I'm from. And as you get older and you start to, you know you're going to jail, you're starting to rise to the political system. You're realizing, hold on what. You didn't have the authority authority to do that right. So I was able to pull my head out, my ass from all of that, but we'll get to that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll get to that man. So did you get any? You got a lot of tattoos. Did you get any gang tattoos on you?
Speaker 2:um, no, never did. I understood that. Um, that would be a telltale sign, right? I understood a lot of guys were getting stopped, their bodies were being searched. You know, I understood a lot of guys were getting stopped, their bodies were being searched. You know, I understood a lot more than these guys because I was reading and writing, I was more articulate. But, yeah, I suppressed it, I hid it because I wanted to fit in. I talked like them, I walked like them, but in actuality I was never like them. You know, I was more. Uh, I guess I was a hybrid.
Speaker 2:you know, I was like a super nigger, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Hey, I'm just, that's probably the best moment of this whole entire fucking podcast. Man, Holy shit, you caught me off guard dude, yeah man I lost my train of thought.
Speaker 2:I tend to do that man.
Speaker 1:No, what had happened was I was trying to come up with another question to ask you right after you were going to be done speaking. Then you hit me with that dude and just knocked me off.
Speaker 2:my rhythm, my rhythm. But back to your last question about how did I feel when he was on the stand.
Speaker 1:But before that man, what I meant to say is like okay, you were not destined for the streets, right? Obviously, you were better than that.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's where I think the conflict was coming in. That that's where I think the conflict was coming in. That was never my destiny Correct, it just took a sharp, abrupt turn.
Speaker 1:I'm like how the fuck did I get here? 100% yeah, but you were willing and able to do what you needed to do, yes, to feel inclusive, yes.
Speaker 2:I just wanted you know I'm in a house which is not abnormal man? No, I'm in a house of girls. It was either. You know what's crazy the thoughts went through my head at that young. If I didn't get up out of there, it was a possibility of me.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I hear what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Right, no, that makes sense when you're looking. One thing I've come to realize man is testosterone. It's fucking real. Yeah, it's real.
Speaker 2:I was in there putting on heels. I'm telling you, testosterone is real man. I'll never the next thing, you know, I'm in the streets, I hear you.
Speaker 1:so I understand now, dad I hear you and that's why people join gangs the military law enforcement they're looking for. They're looking for that, they're looking for their way, they're like little unguided missiles. That's it.
Speaker 2:That's it if they just had somewhere to go right, uh, uh, you know um, they would go that route, you know. Hence mike tyson meeting custody amado out of the juvenile facility. Yeah, you know him adopting him. And then what happened? You know he has someone to guide him. That rage, that aggression, right.
Speaker 1:What crime did you guys commit or let you have committed to end up on a stand of some sort?
Speaker 2:So this one was a week after graduation, so what it was? Right in hindsight, it was an infraction man. It was something that was supposed to be a site and release Okay, Stealing a $20 bottle of alcohol, but because you know they had secret shoppers and because you know the person I was with at the time, you had a struggle with them upgraded that to burglary when they when they eventually, when they eventually um burglary, robbery, um and mayhem, I don't even know what mayhem was what consisted of the mayhem charge me running.
Speaker 2:But the reason why I ran was I had an international license at the time. My dad went to jamaica and got me an international license so I could be able to get to and from work, okay, but I was out there doing other things, of course. So I ran because of that man, um and I think I was on probation at the time um, and I ran and I did the whole, I did the, did the most man. I'm jumping through backyards, backyards. Is anybody in?
Speaker 1:hot pursuit of you.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, there's two birds on me. Listen, man. The whole Rancho Sheriff department is on me, man, hey, shout out to them guys. Yeah, nobody whooped my ass, man.
Speaker 1:How did they get alerted so fast there?
Speaker 2:was a struggle going on at the store. I went to the park, man, and here we talked about my loyalty, right? Yeah, my stupid ass. I went to the. I went to the park. I had like an hour to get away. You had an hour to get away. I went to the park because I was already gone as soon as I saw him struggling with I don't know who. These guys were, okay off, I don't really know that guy like that, so I didn't know him. I told my buddy about him, like hey, bro, I think he's up to no good, I don't like this guy. And then this happened, so I don't even know this guy. I'm gone. So I break across the freeway. Um, I go to the park. I'm calling my cell phone because I lost my phone. Oh wow, I got naked photos on there of my girlfriend at the time my child's mother, okay, that I recently, uh, separated from.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I'm like I don't want anybody to see her photos. This is my thinking of the time. I don't want anybody to see her naked photos. I gotta get, no way, dude.
Speaker 2:So I'm sitting there calling my phone for like forever. I'm thinking something in my head like, okay, it was just a bottle of alcohol. How were you calling the phone if you didn't have your phone Payphone? Okay, this time payphones were very popular. They were still at the parks. So I was on a payphone calling my phone and it was answered, but nothing was said. Oh man was said, oh man.
Speaker 2:So as soon as I hung up I saw undercover. So I did and law enforcement rop in high school as well. So I've always been. You know, law has always fascinated me, you know, um. So I noticed that there was undercover in the park. I hung the phone up and I just took off the guy. He got out the car started chasing me. I took off into the first backyard. You know movie type scene man, family's back there eating the whole nine. I'm busting through their backyard. I get to the other home and I bury myself in some bushes. I'm thinking all right, man, I'm out of breath. Let me try to hide now. So I bury myself. I forget about the uh, what's that? The infrared? Yeah, that's how they got me. Um, when they got me back there, man, I was screaming from the bushes hey, I give up, man, I give up. They came over there with my ass then everybody bearing yourself with leaves, leaves.
Speaker 1:We have a similar story, man, that I have yet to speak on, the time that I buried myself with some dirt, but I was also on the run.
Speaker 2:But but this is how it turned to, where I was like how were they able to do this to me? I was intrigued, I didn't get bitter. How were they able to do this to me? I was intrigued, I didn't get bitter. How were they able to do this to me? I want to know how they were able to catch you. No, how they were able to. These officers, these deputies, that day when they caught me and brought me back to the Vons, they didn't know what to charge me with. I didn't understand at the time, when they were conversating with each other. What are you going to charge him with? Him with right? I don't understand at the time that they should have cited and released me regardless of correct. The guy laughed I'll throw the book at him. I don't understand what the book was. Okay, felony robbery, burglary, mayhem three felonies at 18. A week out of high school, they sent me down to west valley with.
Speaker 1:Do you, in hindsight, do you believe that your race had anything to do with it? Of course, no, honestly. Do you believe they were thinking especially?
Speaker 2:anything to do with it? Of course, no, honestly, do you believe they were?
Speaker 1:thinking especially in rancho. Yes, yes, like pretty much just fuck this dude, throw the book at him. Yes, that's crazy man that's unfortunate child, a child at that, but I'm starting to see the the system for what it is.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it's unfortunate. But even, even so, I still, like I said, I didn't become bitter. I said I want to know what they know. So you know I fought it. I took a deal. I took a deal at first because here I am, I didn't physically take anything out of the store, I was just a lookout, right. I didn't do anything. But I was trying to explain to my father I can't like turn around and tell on this guy I can't Right, can't right. He didn't understand that side of things, of things. You know he didn't, he didn't understand. Okay, you know, um, the no snitching, you know. You know we're all bravado about um, I said I can't tell on this guy. I said I said it's cool, man, don't worry about it, just let me take the hit, let me ride this out. You told him that. I told my dad this. My dad was like you're stupid. Oh yeah, right, yeah, my dad was cussing me out and I'm sitting here thinking I'm a gangster and shit. I'm like, damn, come on, let's just take the hit, man, I'm good.
Speaker 1:Where is the other guy during all of this?
Speaker 2:So this guy that actually did it right, correct. He's sitting next to me. This is how I knew he was going to tell. He was like so at the time they called me Tyson, he was like Tyson, how much he was gonna tell. I said, fuck man. And it wasn't that he was gonna tell he was gonna blame it on me. He was, of course, I knew this. He's a juvenile, he's 17, okay. So I know he's gonna get hit on the wrist. So I'm telling him take your charge, that's what. I'm sitting there telling him hey, it's your charge, bro. Like you know, you're a juvenile.
Speaker 2:So I just turned 18. I already understood what was gonna happen, because I went to juvenile hall. So and they tell you, there was telling me all the time in juvie like, hey, you don't get your shit together, you're going to the big house, absolutely, so fast forward. I'm sitting here like, oh shit, I'm going to the big house. Hey, bro, take your charge. Yeah, take your charge, you're 17, they're gonna hit you on the wrist. Nah, man, they separate us. And, um, I had another guy that was with me, the one that I told you I felt led me astray because he grandfathered me onto a gang. Yeah, um, from inglewood right. So the deputy he did show us love, he made sure we got housed together where did you west valley, west valley, west valley, were you guys in dorms?
Speaker 2:or cells dorms. We're in a dorm. I didn't know anything about politics.
Speaker 1:Gp dorm um general population, regular gang members, yes, different races um different races.
Speaker 2:Yes, so that was my introduction to the uh, the uh, 18 years old. 18 years old a week out of high school, right, damn, like, yeah, let me take this, dad, you know, thinking I was doing the right thing, like I'm, and they charge you with freaking felonies yes, three of them one stuff, because I bet you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I took a deal. You took a deal. I took a deal to get out on time served. I felt at that point in time when I took that deal, I remember it was a brief visitation with my dad after I got transferred to Atlanta. I'll never forget crying to him because I told him. I said you know, I'm in here doing things. I have no choice, right, and I'm afraid, like if that's asked of me, I'm gonna do it, correct, I'm telling I'm gonna do it. I don't want to do it, you know, but I'm gonna do it if that's. You know, if it's either me or them, I'm doing them. That was my thinking at the time. So he refinances the house and bails me out like 60, 70 g's man, but not everybody has that opportunity at all, correct?
Speaker 1:so some people in your what, what advice do you have to current young gang members that don't understand what they're going to get into themselves, into, once they get incarcerated and they're going to be asked to do things that they have to participate in?
Speaker 2:Whoever you are not with that gun, without it, that's the person you're going to have to depend on if your fortune destines you on the inside, it's the toughest way to find out you're not that person. Unfortunately, I was doing very well and that's what scared me, because I realized, oh, I was never faking the funk. I'm really like that, right, I'm thinking it's a rite of passage, correct, but it's still theite of passage correct, but but it's still the wrong thing to do, boy our boy.
Speaker 2:How wrong I was right it's the worst thing to do, right? There's no, there's no life in that. There's no life in that. Two things are promised jail or death. Facts, you know, and that's where you find out that you have no friends. There is no love in the streets, true. There's no honor amongst thieves, truly there's no honor amongst thieves.
Speaker 1:Truly, there's no honor amongst thieves.
Speaker 2:Man, I know you know that, lieutenant, I know you saw them and they're singing all day. That's huge man. There's no honor and that's what they fail to realize, their little gangs they're running around with. Who's the one that's going to tell? Who's the one that's going to get touched?
Speaker 1:Were you actually in a courtroom when this dude told on you, of course? How the hell did that go down like this?
Speaker 2:Like this. He fucking pointed.
Speaker 1:The dude went all out. Man, listen, would have thrown him a block of cheese.
Speaker 2:Listen, you know. And still I can sit here today and say rest in peace to that man.
Speaker 1:Oh he's no longer living.
Speaker 2:He's no longer here because of some things that happened with his brother's gang and they kidnapped him and Azusa Wow dude and they found his body in Azusa Cannon chopped up. So I'm not sure what they were involved in, but I know that he got nabbed up behind that. Rest in peace to him. Nobody deserves to leave the earth that way I still.
Speaker 2:You know, it was kind of my fault in a sense, because when these things happen, I know I could look back and be like damn multiple red flags you ignored, right, I was able to see that and I took accountability for what I missed. You know, whereas the culture deems it no, you know, you got to kill a snitch or all that weird stuff. Nah, man, I forgave him.
Speaker 1:So what psychological changes happened when you got snitched on in a freaking courtroom or like the blinds lifted out of your eyes, where you can see shit for what it was.
Speaker 2:Yes, man, and it's been a painful experience ever since, because now I see shit for what it is, right, um, you know, they say love is blind. I'm no longer blinded by these things. I see it for what it is. And you know, my dad used to always say once somebody, show you, shows you who they are, believe them, believe them, you know, and um, but because of love, we make excuses. Well, no, this, that and the other, no, I believe that person now.
Speaker 1:Was that one of the pivotal turning points for you to want to change your lifestyle? Not right?
Speaker 2:away. But I say like probably six years after that. I just thought at the time I played the system, I'm getting away with it. I'm back out here in the streets, you know, still running rapid, doing my thing. It wasn't until I lost two of my best friends to street violence. Damn yes. My best friend, britton, was shot 10 times in front of me. I held him as he died.
Speaker 1:Talk to me about the events of that incident.
Speaker 2:He was a truck driver on the road. He just came off the road. We're going to go drop his dog off to his girlfriend's house up in Hesperia, my first time ever up there. I'm underage at the time but I'm armed, you know, I always kept a gun on me. So you know, I wasn't old enough to get into the bar. So I stayed in the car and he went to the bar and he was in there drinking. So you know, at some point the bar lets out guys in the back to wake me up, or whatever I get out, I start back to wake me up. Whatever I get out, I start sitting on the hood. Just, you know, watching the parking lot, some guys come out the park, come out of the bar. You're kind of talking loud, they're rowdy and you know, honestly, like it wasn't even about the gang, the gang stuff, a lot of times I you know now I realize I was just in pain, man, and I just wanted to put some of that on somebody else. So therefore that's where a lot of my issues came from. So I started something that night.
Speaker 2:Words were exchanged, guy took off running, but it was kind of like that takeoff, like okay, I got something for you. So, all right, my gun's in the trunk, right, I'm taking off the other way. But Britton takes off after that guy. So I'm looking over here where I'm looking at my weapon, I'm looking at Britton, so I chase my bro, I chase my boy, I'm running behind him. They're fashioning me.
Speaker 2:We get to this gentleman's car and I'm stuck in between the doors. So this is the door. Right here. I'm on the other side of the car door, britton's on this side of the car door. They're fighting, they're fighting. The guy's digging, he's digging as they're fighting. The next thing, you know, I see flashes, just gunshots go off. Britton drops, I drop with him. He turns the gun on me, gun jams, he jumps in the car and takes off. Um, I'm telling him it's gonna be okay, you're gonna be good. You know he's grasping, grasping for air and took his last, last breath in my arms. Yeah, dude, you should have died that incident. I definitely should have died that night. And um, right now is the first time I've ever even talked about it. There's a reason why you lived man. Man, yes, and that's what brought me here today. Absolutely, dude. Yes, it's been many incidents like that. And my cousin I called that night to tell him what happened. He was sticking with me a year after that too, drive-by shooting.
Speaker 1:So, as you're growing older man and you're seeing things for what they are yeah, is that so, as you're growing older man and you're seeing things for what they are yeah, is that when you start to make?
Speaker 2:changes, major changes. I'm I'm going to jail behind false, false friends, right um. I'm losing friends, right um. I'm seeing it for what it is. I'm like man, like I was, I've always had the ability to look at older people. I'm like where does this end, right? Who survived this and who's doing good right now? That's smart dude. I wasn't able to see anyone, either some junkies or, you know, somebody just living above the poverty level, like nobody's successful. Well, we got rappers and a couple people that make it in the sports. Nobody's really successful in the streets, right, but we have cultural people giving their heart to the streets Behind what Do you think the system drives that?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, the single mother households. You know they start in the home. You know they take the father out the home. The home is broken. Many of these women think they could do it on their own. You can't raise a boy into a man. It takes another man.
Speaker 1:By the time you had your daughter, were you already out of the gang game? Yes, you had already been out.
Speaker 2:Been out a long time.
Speaker 1:When you met your daughter's mother, were you in the gang game? Yes, I was deep in it, but she drew me out because I fell in love. Okay, that adds to my theory, man, that every girl wants to fix a broken boy, of course, which leads me to believe why you and I are no longer with our baby mamas, man.
Speaker 2:They feel like you know what they say a reason, season or a lifetime. She came for a reason and she I think she, and that's how I was able to A reason a season or a lifetime, or a lifetime.
Speaker 1:I've never heard that dude. That makes sense.
Speaker 2:And she came for a reason she came. Our season was 15 years, but it wasn't a lifetime. I was under the impression. Life has other avenues we have to take to ultimately become the person we were meant to become we can't avoid it.
Speaker 1:So you make these changes, man. You become a father, right? What was your feeling like when your daughter was born?
Speaker 2:What emotions did you feel? I think I felt emotions like truly, for the first time. I'm thinking. I know love Right, never experienced it until I held my daughter, until I held her man, I was like God damn, I've never felt this before and I think that's why I was able to just do a lot of things and not really have any emotions behind it. You know, I would look at my ex-wife, would cry to me most times. I would just look at her, like, like, why are you crying? I'll never feel anything. Yeah, you know, and I always felt like that was you know what's wrong with you, bro, like you know, you know, relate with her. I never felt nothing, you know, but until my daughter was here that I started to feel, and you know it felt weird.
Speaker 1:Did you feel a sense of responsibility? Yes, what kind of responsibility did you feel for your daughter?
Speaker 2:That she's depending on me for survival. And again back to my loyalty. It just sparked something in me, Right, you know, and every single waking day.
Speaker 1:Now, during that period of time, what role did you feel a mother had to play in the dynamics of a family?
Speaker 2:Turning the house into a home. I don't necessarily believe in gender roles, right, you know dishes need to be washed and you know you've had a long day. I wash the dishes. But in terms of nature and nurture, right from the beginning of time, this is just how it was. Nobody told you to stay in your place, you just you had a place, but nobody told you to stay there. You know, I just felt like it was a natural role.
Speaker 2:Women, you know, look at civilizations of before man. Women were really holding it down. They couldn't go to war, do what they did without, you know, the backbone to what they were doing it for, and that was the woman. So I felt like, because she didn't have a dad, which I brought back into her life year, this was like year 11 or 12. I saw him at a birthday party. I made him get a DNA test Recent season lifetime, right, what if my job was to bring her father back into her life? But it's always been that disconnect, like you can't tell me what it is to be a man. There was never one around to show you and it comes off. You know it's hurt her a lot of times, but that's just what the truth is, and that's what the fact is.
Speaker 1:You can't tell me that you know, and I still feel that way. Do you believe that social media, and maybe a modern agenda that was pushed around 2012, diluted the role of a female or of a mother or of a wife?
Speaker 2:Very much or of a female Very much, very much, social media, the music.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm telling you it boils down to frequency. You know what's your tune, what's your tune to make you tune in. You know, um, and I think 2020 was when it really it really started gaining some traction. With the lockdown, you know, a lot of people were forced to face themselves, face their partners, face situations whereas before you were just too busy to even realize that it was a problem, whereas before you were just too busy to even realize that it was a problem. But here we are, locked in together and I noticed that more drinking started, more scrolling started and then the problems came right. The water's green where you water it. You know it's never going to flourish in your backyard if you're on the fence looking over into somebody else's. And I feel like, because I understand that, you know, because it got to. You know, know, I want to go on more vacations, I want to do this, I'll do that, and I'm sitting here like, okay, well, get a little job, then help out the family yeah next thing you know, I'm homeless.
Speaker 2:You are, yeah, five.
Speaker 1:I was homeless for about five months, yeah, just recently, yeah did you ever reach a point where you were working your ass off for the family?
Speaker 2:yeah, I worked multiple jobs. I was working side gigs, I was, and maybe you weren't valued or appreciated.
Speaker 1:I felt that way. Aside from that and I don't know your personal story, but do you feel also maybe they were bringing you down or they just weren't contributing, just weren't contributing?
Speaker 2:just weren't contributing, weren't contributing. You know, I'm like, I'm sitting here like I watched my mom and dad worked hand in hand for 30 years to do this together, absolutely. But you know what's crazy my dad told me when I was 15, a few months after I got my child's mom, he told me because he, he, he, had noticed. You know, he was like son, like you spoiled that girl too much.
Speaker 2:You're going to regret that one day, crazy 15 years later, because I never allowed her to do anything. My dad's the type of father like if, if it was like chores to be done and you came over you're doing a chore, so he would designate her chores and I would no, don't worry about it, go in the room, I'll do it for her. And he noticed that and he tried to nip it in the bud. And you know, I work two jobs. I never allowed, I never let it work. You know things like that. And then you know, when it got down to it after the child, I'm like man, I can't do this on my own.
Speaker 1:I asked for a bit of assistance and next thing, you know, I'm homeless and, of course, right, they say it's three sides to a story. So you ask her and it's gonna be a whole different version. But that's my truth. I get it. Yeah, no, I get it. Man, had you already planned on separating prior to the separation, or considered it at least?
Speaker 2:I guess I didn't take it serious, okay, oh, like I said in in the end, right, I missed all the signs, or maybe, yeah, I just chose to miss it because I was still in love. But unfortunately I feel when women check out it's a different. It's different. You know, um, I was. You know I'm thinking for better or worse, why. You know, I never believed in marriage. I married her, never believed in it. My parents been together 30 years, no marriage, you know. So I figured out she's pregnant. You know it's the right thing.
Speaker 1:Well, that's probably why they lasted 30 years, man, because there was nothing to it. It was just well. I'm just saying. I feel once a girl gets married, it's just like oh, I already checked the block, I'm out exactly it's.
Speaker 2:It's a bucket list, correct, you know? And if it, if it wasn't like that fairytale type thing, then it's like. You know, a lot of women down here feel they're meant for more, and it's harsh saying it, but you know, some people aren't meant for greatness, some people are just meant to survive and I think a lot of people it's a tough pill to swallow they want to taste that life and it's like you were never meant to. I hear you, dude.
Speaker 2:You know there's nothing wrong with that um, how devastating was it separating from your daughter man, still to this day, right now, I still feel pain in my stomach every day, man, because to go from her waking up to you every single day to now understanding what's going on. Right, per, what a week or two ago she's crying Dad, you broke my heart. You know why aren't you here? And she's eight. What do I tell her? But to keep a fake smile on my face. You know, I want to cry every time I talk to her, so sometimes I don't even answer her call. You know, because we're both going through it and I feel her energy. You know, down to the frequency, and I don't think her mom sees what she's doing to her. Oh, she sees it, man, she sees it. That's my, that's my thoughts, well, thoughts as well I don't know.
Speaker 1:Like I said, I don't know her. I don't want to speak negatively, yes, but I am in the same exact shoes that you are in, dude because it's our legacy.
Speaker 2:They want to hurt us through our legacy, but we can't let that happen because my dad would say I could, I could teach I could, I could show you better than I could tell you. So this is me accepting this pain is is is going to teach her down the line how to deal with that pain, because she's going to go through it some more. Right, I felt like my dad never showed me how to navigate these waters things I feel. I told him, man, I feel something in me, man, I don't know why I feel it. 5150 runs in my family. My sister has her PhD, she works in a, she works in a psych house and we have some very interesting conversations. She'd be a great. She'd be a great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, plug her in man.
Speaker 2:We have interesting conversations.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It boils down to the fact that you know what's the difference between us and somebody that's lost it? Nothing, really. We're all one bad day from losing it, losing our shit, but what keeps us waking up every day wanting to say you know what, let me give it one more go, and that's why I'm still here. I don't know what it is, but sometimes I hate it, man, because I'm like before my daughter. Man, I didn't want to be here, I didn't care about any of it, ran my credit up. I didn't care about any of it. I thought it was a waste of my time.
Speaker 1:So this is stupid why do you feel it's important to be present in your daughter's life and to establish that foundation? Is it because you don't want her to grow up a certain bad way, or you want to show her the role of a father and of a man in a woman's life? A little bit of both.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't want her going up the bad way because, unfortunately, a lot of the girls you know I grew up with, what was the common thing amongst a lot of them? No, father, daddy issues, daddy issues. Right, I don't want to leave her that way and also I want to show her, you know, okay, one day, if you do want to choose a mate.
Speaker 1:I'm like a magnet for toxic girls. Man Listen.
Speaker 2:That's how I've always felt man I'm like damn. But I've always felt man I'm like damn. But I've always had the you know, you probably all has.
Speaker 1:You probably have always had the ability to help them in some way shape, oh man, yeah, I mean fuck, I think we've done more than we've taken from them, or so they think we've taken from them.
Speaker 2:I think we've done more. Good, um, I know I have. Listen, she doesn't have to give me my flowers. I know what I did your father wasn't there during a pivotal time. Yeah True, I reminded you of your worth True man, dude, that's solid right there.
Speaker 1:Come on, you know, and I'm asking you these questions more so out of a place from my experience, man, because I actually want to know what you do you know what I mean in your, because this, this is new to me as well.
Speaker 1:Yes, and it's just new every day and there's a lot of men out there in the same situation. Dude, let me be the one to tell you that their marriage, or their set, their relationship split and now there's custody issues you know how many men I hugged during the covid era man, I was working for fedex so I got.
Speaker 2:I got first-hand. Look at the community, at you know, 30 year marriages. I had men just coming out check their mail spilling everything to me. Damn dude, the random male dude, and I would sit there and listen. Yeah, because at the end of the day, who listens? Who listens to men right in a society where you're? You told them to take it on a chin. You're a man, uh, you know you're supposed to be able to take this. No, we're not all the same. We all handle it differently.
Speaker 1:How important is it for men to seek mental health treatment and speak about their feelings?
Speaker 2:Well, coming from a person where today is the first day I've even taken that step, oh, I commend you for it. I've always felt like I'll get to it. I've always put it on the back burner. You know I have more pressing issues but honestly, we are the business right? If you don't take care of yourself, who's going to run the business? Damn.
Speaker 1:I'm going to ask you a serious question Are men allowed to have emotions?
Speaker 2:I think we are. We are, but society has made it to where we get critiqued for having emotions. But honestly, I think that's where true power comes from is having that compassion, facts, but also being able to drop that rod if you need to. Yep, and those are the marks.
Speaker 1:That's what I learned from my dad do you believe maybe a lot of mental health issues in the united states today, and maybe worldwide, stem from men not thoroughly living out their primal needs? And, you know, eating unhealthy, being like a bitch to their spouse, yes, or, you know, like being second to their spouse.
Speaker 2:Yes, it stems from how were they raised, for example, the Hispanic culture. Right, I've seen from what I've seen, because when I got here from the fifth grade, I dated a Latina from the fifth grade to the ninth grade. I left her for my child's mom, so I've always been in long relationships. Yeah, you know, um, and from from what I've seen, um, it's either the boys are being babied and the girls are being treated more like masking, like I suck it up that's what I saw, you know. But the boys, the women oh, my poor baby come here. Yeah, you know. So. Therefore, um, now they get older and a lot of the wives run the show, you know, um, not just them, various cultures, uh, communities, um, but from your perspective, should wives be running the show?
Speaker 2:from my my perspective. Like I said, I feel you're my backbone. Without you I can't walk. But you have to be behind, right. You have to allow me to take my place to lead this family.
Speaker 1:And I don't. Is it biblical right? Is it spiritual? Is it from the beginning of time?
Speaker 2:Yes, I feel more so spiritual, you know, is it from the beginning of time? Yes, I feel more so spiritual, you know. This is, you know, more so spiritual. It's how it's been, you know, if it's not broken, why fix it? You know, type thing, I don't know. We've just gotten to a place in society where it's just too much us versus them, them versus us, women, men, black, white. You know, on every level it's just fighting, it's chaos.
Speaker 1:Who wins in a situation like that?
Speaker 2:who wins we don't win, nobody wins, and that's, that's the truth of what about?
Speaker 2:politicians. Of course I was going to get to them. Oh they're, they're winning, they're still winning. You know, they're still collecting their checks, they're still, um, fighting in front of us, but behind closed doors, cheers and then high-fiving. Absolutely, man, you know it's a show. It's a show, but to what level. And you know, I've never been the person like, oh, the government, this, the government that? No, think about it. We, the people, are in those positions that put our foot on people's neck. It's not the government, somebody like you and I, somebody going through the same stressors like you and me, but they're in that position to keep that foot on your neck. We're doing it to ourselves, you know. But yeah, they're foreseeing it on a deeper, deeper level of things.
Speaker 1:But if we just decide to say no, who's going to make us?
Speaker 2:What would the population deciding to say no look like an uprising, a protest, solidarity you're not gonna get nothing without a little bloodshed, and that's just the truth of things. Look how america was birthed. You're gonna have to be willing to spill a little blood and then, unfortunately, we've reached a place, society, where people don't want to die, people are scared, they don't want to rise up for nothing.
Speaker 1:Well, what did Thomas Jefferson say, man? Those that would exchange security for liberty deserve neither. Come on.
Speaker 2:Deserve neither. It's going to get taken either way, whether you fight or not, and that's what I'm sitting here like.
Speaker 1:You people are not realizing. Well, we see eye to eye man.
Speaker 2:We're on the same level. Yeah, we see it. Yes, if it's you're gonna get taken. You might as well go down with a fucking fight. Come on, champ, come on, you know, and um, that's all I want to display to my daughter. You know, follow your dreams, follow your heart and stand for something, for your belief.
Speaker 1:Die for that, if need be stand for something and you'll back her. 100 of the whole entire way, thousand percent from the day she was born.
Speaker 2:I'm in service to her very interesting man.
Speaker 1:I'm glad. I'm glad you're taking that stance with your daughter. Yes, because you know and this is not a shot at my parents, but they're old school. Yeah, they wanted me to shut up and put up. Yep, my boss is an asshole. Shut up, go to work and just listen. Don't talk back. Don't talk back, just do what you're told. Yes, would you give your daughter that advice?
Speaker 2:No, no, she has to. There's a way to speak your mind without coming off disrespectful, respectfully, so I want her to stay within that light. I don't want her to be emotionally. I don't want her to be speaking from emotions and don't allow anyone to influence you unless they influence you with facts. And if you can't find facts within what somebody's saying, do your own research. Facts, you know, but too many people don't want to do their research.
Speaker 1:You know what is that man? People too scared to do anything, People too lazy to do anything.
Speaker 2:I don't think so. I think we've reached a point in society where people like the way things are.
Speaker 2:They like somebody else pulling the strings. It's easier. It takes all the thinking out of it for me. Think about it, right? That's where the sheep mentality comes from, correct? You know, some people don't want their bubble disturbed. Have you ever been trying to tell somebody something and they're like ah, I get out of here, man, you're conspiracy theorist every day, dude. Come on those people, and that's what I mean about nature and some things that need to die.
Speaker 1:those are the people that I wouldn't blink an eye if yeah, yeah, no, I hear exactly what the fuck you're saying, man. It's just a brutal honest truth. It's just the truth, it's just the way things are, you know um well, basically what you just said, dude, is not everybody's on the same level.
Speaker 2:No, no, spiritually. Um, our frequencies are different and and and that's that's what drew the wedge between me and the people I I used to try to identify with you know, it.
Speaker 2:It became completely, you know, complete, like oh, he's definitely not like one of us, right, I'm like fuck. But I've always felt like more connected to those kinds of people. You know, I guess because you know the state of mind is what I'm saying when I say where I come from the state of mind Most people think the ghetto is a place. It's not, it's the state of mind. You can be in the ghetto wherever you live. How would you define success?
Speaker 2:Success is being the ability to wake up every single day and, um, you have, you know, you have all your things in order. You could, you could talk, walk, you know a lot of things we take for granted. The air is on roof over your head, food. That's success. To me, it doesn't matter if it's a mansion or if it's a shack.
Speaker 2:I used to think no, I can only be successful or happy if I'm in the mansion. I used to only think that way. I can only be happy if I get this, if I get that. The truth is, you can have all of that and still feel the same, and I don't think people understand that. So they look at that, that that life is glamorous, like that's what I need materialistic, materialistic, and I've never, thank heavens man, not materialistic at all, you know, because I just I was. I had like one outfit like to like the eighth grade. You know my mom would do what she could, but you know that's where and that's why I started robbing man, because I was like dude, I need to gotta get some clothes.
Speaker 1:How important is internal happiness?
Speaker 2:it's it's the, it's the. It's the most important in my, in my book, because if you're not happy with you, how can you go pick a partner and say you know and that's where the dependency comes from right, where she was like you, you stop loving me. It was never my job. You need to love yourself, because if you love you and I love me and we come together, we're just loving bro.
Speaker 1:We have the same exact life. Come on, we have the same exact life and it's like you're like dude, I'm.
Speaker 2:That sounds like so cut and dry. What are you not? What are you not getting? But there's the divide again what are you reading? What are you eating? What are you listening to? First and foremost, if your girl has a bunch of single friends you setting yourself up for failure man.
Speaker 1:I was just about to ask you that. Man, how do you feel about if your wife was hanging around a bunch of divorcees?
Speaker 2:That's what happened to me, man. She was around a bunch of divorcees. That's what happened to me, man. She was around a bunch of old-ass bitches and like screwed my friends, man.
Speaker 1:Hey, if that happened to you, in the chat box put a number one. Man because that fucking happened to me Put a number two man you know what.
Speaker 2:It happened a couple times, baby. I'm saying like, what advice can a single person give you, right, right, except for you know, misery loves company and they don't see it, they don't get it.
Speaker 1:This is some bullshit, man.
Speaker 2:You know, all her friends were just great friends with their child's fathers Broken up. But they still come over with a new dude over there, just kumbaya, having a great time and I'm like what is going on here?
Speaker 1:Talk to me about the loyalty of men, and I'm not talking about like straying with another woman. I'm talking about the loyalty of a man in a household the purpose, the role. What is he willing to do for the family? What?
Speaker 2:exactly exactly what is he willing to do, and and that's why a lot of our environments are the way they are because what was your father willing to do for you? It's an unfortunate pill to swallow if you're living in complete shit For real, for real, right. You know what I mean. Just, you're living in complete shit for real, for real, right. You know I mean just nothing, but same same thing. Just a gang out front. Dad's nowhere to be found, dead somewhere, whatever the case may be, you know, but if he would have been there, you got to understand you wouldn't have been that person. Your life would be a lot different. That's how important a father's role is, especially to a young boy.
Speaker 1:What do you feel the role of a man in a family is?
Speaker 2:To protect and provide, protect, provide.
Speaker 1:The woman teaches, nourishes, we all have our so to protect and provide what happens when things get twisted or misconstrued from the woman's perspective, Thinking oh, I got this, I don't need a man. Does that offset the cycle?
Speaker 2:It offsets it, because then, as a man, if you start to feel less than you know, you're going to start producing a lot less than you're already producing. You know, depending on how you deal with you know, a lot of the trauma most men are going through is is, uh, you know, subliminal, their subconscious mind. Just that small little thing. The last thing she said in that argument you might remember. For weeks you think, like man, what you know, um, like I said, we all take, we all deal with things different, and that's where the divide comes you know, did you gain weight during a certain time of this?
Speaker 1:Because I've seen a picture.
Speaker 2:I crashed my motorcycle man. So let me go back. So after I got out of jail right, I fought it for the next two years A judge looked at me and said you know what Never happened, took it off my record. I took that chance to go to college, went to college for correctional science. They had a 15-week corrections officer program I signed up for. We had a pretty important meeting. She was like well, shit things you've done, things you've been through like. It's going to be tough for you to get in, but I think you'll still be able to get in. Most important thing is you got to put some time in between this and I knew I was about to go on a long journey.
Speaker 2:So you know I embarked on it and you know I had my first mentor. That was like me. You know, black gentleman, worked CDCR, put on a PD for 30 years, shared his experiences with me. I graduated from there, made it through academy. So what led me up to the accident was I was supposed to go through CDCR. That's what I wanted to do, right? But my instructor, cheston, was like Francis, no man, foot in the door is a foot in the door. Wherever you need to go, go there. So I went through San Bernardino County Sheriff I was going through the process Met with my background investigator, told him everything I just told you right now, went to jail the whole night.
Speaker 1:Smoked weed with the Crips. Smoked weed with the.
Speaker 2:Crips. I said hey, hey, straight up, before he even started digging. I said is there anything I told you right now that could like bar me? Let me know right now. Don't waste my time, I'm not gonna waste yours. He's like no, no, no, no he's. Let me tell you something, man. I've never forgotten it to this day. Look me in my eyes. I forget his name. I wish I would remember his name. But he told me he's like we get some of our best officers from the bottom of the barrel. Oh, that's a fucking fact, dude. I said why is that? He's like well, you've been on both sides of the law, baby, you understand it. You understand it. And that's when my thinking really started to whoa. A mass awakening started. I said oh shit, he's right. And then, shortly after that, crashed my motorcycle. I broke my hip. What were you on a freeway, I was on a road, I was on my way to get my hair cut?
Speaker 1:what?
Speaker 2:kind of motorcycle was like harley davidson. I was 20, I was 21, um, you know, always wanted a harley. Um, you know, got me a sportster 1200, 1300. Um, I was riding on pepper and rialto and um, I saw, I saw the guy in the median. He was just sitting there in a car, in the car, just sitting there in the median. Saw the guy in the median. He was just sitting there In a car, in a car, just sitting there in the median. Saw the threat, assessed it, I said you know what, in case he wants this lane, let me get over. Right when I'm about to pass him, he cuts both lanes and T-boned you Yep, and fractured my pelvis Open book fracture. If it would have opened another half an inch I would have bled to death. I broke my scaphoid. You see that little dent right there. Yeah, I did surgery on that. Did you lose consciousness? No, I don't believe so.
Speaker 2:I crashed three times after this too. So this wasn't my only crash. I crashed a bunch more times after this. No way, man. Yeah, I wasn't walking for two years.
Speaker 1:They told me that I wouldn't walk again ever so well I added what was the reason you kept getting back on the motorcycle after you would crash?
Speaker 2:it was the only thing that made me feel alive outside of outside of my daughter.
Speaker 1:My daughter wasn't here at that point, okay so, and so that's when you gained weight or you started going down a path.
Speaker 2:I was yeah, I wasn't walking. I didn't walk for two and a half years. I was on the couch, couch like this, my legs tied in a sheet. I didn't have insurance. I took a free hit no way. I checked myself out after a couple weeks. No way, man, I didn't have insurance.
Speaker 1:Took a free hit. Did the other person have insurance?
Speaker 2:He wasn't even from here from some random african dude just standing there just looking like he didn't know what was going on. You know, I mean my lawyer was like listen rupert, I dug in everything. Man, he has nothing. The car wasn't even his, I'm just sitting there like fuck.
Speaker 2:Well, how bad were the injuries open book fracture, um broken, broken, scaphoid. I had a wound under my um. Was there surgery performed? They wanted to do surgery on my pelvis. I told him no. So then what? Then he told me we don't know if you're going to walk again. I said, well, that's cool, I'll take my chances. But no, I let them do that, but not that. I don't want no middle.
Speaker 2:What was the pain level like? Oh man, I'm talking about some stuff. I ain't ever felt before where I was. You know, up until then, weed was the only thing I tried.
Speaker 2:In my younger years it did come to a point where I had to stop smoking All through high school. You know, my next drug was just fighting and causing chaos after that. But I stopped smoking and stuff because it wasn't me. I was doing it because it was available. I was just hanging out, you know, but it wasn't me. Now, what was the question? Again, I'm sorry, the pain level. Pain level, yeah, 20,.
Speaker 2:Man, I was just thinking you would have made a great correctional officer, dude. You know, man, I'm telling you my uncles were corrections officers as well. Yeah, did 20, 30 year careers, you know, that's and because of what happened to me is why? Because I said you know what I'm going to sit around and blame this man, that man. What did I do to put myself in that position, to cause these things to happen? Even as a young man, I was able to take accountability and ask myself these questions, whereas again I bring it back to the single mother households. A lot of these men don't understand that they're running around versions of their mothers emotional think about it. Where you from. They're emotional women tendencies facts 100. Their environment dictated that. So they're out here because they can't control you know what, what you have to, what you have to face as a man and take from society.
Speaker 1:they can't control that, so this is the easier way to cope how important is it for a man or young man to accept accountabilities for his actions, whether they be good actions or bad actions?
Speaker 2:It's what allows the change, the growth. You have to, you have to take accountability, because if you always place the blame, then that's your, that's your, that's your way out. There's no change that comes from that. You got to face yourself. My life started to change when I looked in the mirror and I said well, what have you done to contribute to these stereotypes? You know, then it gets funny because you're like oh, you played right into the game. No, you did, yes, and I was able to see that, but man, it took no.
Speaker 1:What's crazy is that you were able to unsee that and see it from a different perspective.
Speaker 2:Not that many people get to see that shit? No, and you know why I I owe it to my father never having cable. Never, we didn't have cable growing up. My whole entire life. We had to read. I was the only way I stimulated my imagination reading, writing, speaking out loud. I wasn't programmed. Have you read a lot of books? Read a lot of books. I've read a lot of books. My favorite is the autobiography Mike Tyson.
Speaker 1:What about philosophy?
Speaker 2:Philosophy. Have you read any Greek philosophy? I read a lot of that. I love the players of history. You know the Achilles. You know those types of figures. I've read on a lot of different types of wars. Um, war is a pivotal time. You know why? Why did these people go to war? What was the reason? A lot of history repeats itself. It sure does. Sure does just different clothing, man, yeah, but history definitely repeats itself.
Speaker 1:So you know I've heard you say different clothing numerous times. Can you elaborate on that?
Speaker 2:I I feel like a lot of times, nothing has changed. Man. Um, it might have got swept under the rug now, but I think in like beginning of 2020 or something like that, there were lynchings happening. Oh, where, at like on the east coast? No, over here, where over here? I I screenshotted, I screenshotted it, but I can't. I don't want to misquote it, but yeah were lynchings happening. It was like a couple lynchings, certain things that were still happening. So I'm like I don't think things ever really changed. We just changed clothings and time zones.
Speaker 1:No, you're right, Because I was watching the Netflix Vietnam documentary series and Vietnam is so identical to the Iraq war. The failures in A lot of the wars are identical.
Speaker 2:Failures in Iraq war and the failures in a lot of the wars are identical failures in uh government, and and the reason why I like, I like studying the players, like I say um, um Hitler, um Stalin, um, because it's the mind that intrigues me, why they think this way earlier you said that we are all probably just a bad experience or a day away from losing our shit.
Speaker 1:51 50 right now you mentioned, uh, hitler, stalin, and you want to know what makes him tick. Why did they think that way? Yeah I've seen some youtube interviews of charles manson right. I've watched a lot of his and charles manon actually sounds like a very intelligent man.
Speaker 2:It draws me back to my question again what exactly is crazy?
Speaker 1:Do you believe that the government views those individuals as threats because they cannot be controlled?
Speaker 2:They cannot be controlled, they cannot be programmed Threats in regards to gathering a following, and it doesn't take much People might think it takes much to take back power. It doesn't take much. And there, through history, you've seen certain figures knocked off Martin Luther King, malcolm X, and the list goes on and on and on. You think I'm trying to become a martyr?
Speaker 1:Hell, no, I am For people refusing to again like I say, some of these people have to go in order for that change we want to see happen.
Speaker 2:Right, I know that within my own community, these people on the corner some of them got to go yeah, if the purge was ever legal.
Speaker 1:I know what I'm doing so you said you worked at a. Did you say you currently work there in a psych ward? Yes, as security? Yes, and I feel at home how many clients or customers approximately there are, like hundreds of them, 20 of them, 10? Hundreds man, hundreds of them, hundreds man, working in an environment of mentally ill or quote unquote mentally people. Do you see that maybe there's a mental health issue in the United States of America?
Speaker 2:Of course, of course you know, and it's being, you know, people are filtering in drugs, alcohol, whatever you know, vices give allows them a little bit of escape, you know, and it's further, you know, further, dragging them down that hole of mental despair.
Speaker 1:Talk to me about self-medication right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're getting prescriptions written for everything. Man, your biggest dealer is your doctor.
Speaker 1:Let's be honest here I'm talking about like with a person with mental illness or trauma, consumes alcohol or drugs or dope. To try to numb the talk to me about that. Is it effective or not?
Speaker 2:no case in point. Um, my brother tried something for the first time to try a little bit of escape, 19 years old, in law school. Um last I know he's been in rikers island the last seven years and he's doing full-blown heroin now, fuck, you know it doesn't help.
Speaker 2:No, it's real, dude, it's definitely real. It's real and its effects are devastating and, believe it or not, it's crazy man, these things happening around me. That's what kept me away from it, because my whole life all I wanted to do was try drugs, correct, and a lot of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like man, I can't wait. I want to do the most.
Speaker 2:It sounds like a good time, right? That's what you're thinking Like. What are you guys talking about? But then you start seeing around you what it's doing, Correct?
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh whoa, this stuff isn't good at all. Yeah, what is the answer, man? What is the answer? Because I, that is staring us in the face. I mean, we're in downtown San Diego right now. You got homeless people. We see where the problem is coming from. We see that government is funding it. That is not a conspiracy theory. No, that is actually fucking fact, yes and proven yes. What is the answer? What is?
Speaker 2:the solution? The answer has always been within us. It's got to be you. You have to find that salvation. You got to look yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself this question when was the last time you looked into your eyes? When was the last time you had a five, 10 minute stare into your eyes? What do you see? I do that periodically and that's why I fight in a cage. I know what I see. Do you like the person that you see in the mirror? I don't, but I know I need them. Neither do I, and I agree, I know I need them I mean, I see it the same way yin and yang.
Speaker 1:Correct the good wolf versus a bad wolf.
Speaker 2:You see, I can't be good without him, so I use mma as my escape um are you afraid of the man that you're capable of being? Yeah yes, me too. There's no place in society for someone like that, right right. So it takes men like us that assume the good guy role to face true monsters I don't believe we're assuming the good guy role.
Speaker 1:I'm assuming, I'm feeling that we are naturally in the good guy role. Yes, however, if need be, we can always fall back on what we have to.
Speaker 2:Absolutely right, Definitely well put. Yes, sir, and that's how I've always felt. Again, I'm like man why? I feel like I've been called to serve, Don't want to, but I'm like. I've always felt like I've been called to do it.
Speaker 1:You're right on time, dude. You're right where you need to be right now, in this exact moment dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I feel it, man. I feel the energy of it all and I'm just like damn Sometimes I just don't want to man, it's easier to just cop out and just you know, but that's not the way.
Speaker 1:It's not the way.
Speaker 2:It's not the path, and I know that, and that's what you said you had 3 million views on that freaking fight.
Speaker 1:Dude, how did you get into that? Fighting that backyard brawling street? What was it called man?
Speaker 2:street beefs. Shout out to my coach, man super.
Speaker 1:MMA. Let them know where they can find you if they tap it in to see your fight.
Speaker 2:Man, I'm gonna watch it right now you can find me online Vegeta Black versus Fairplay or Wild Goose. My coach, batiste Mansouri. He's been involved in the mma scene for 20, 30 years. Man, heavily involved.
Speaker 2:Not sure if you heard of tatiana suarez, no, um, well, she's a traitor. Um, but before, before you know, she chose that life. Yeah, um, he raised her, you know um, from a child, you know and up. She's in in the UFC. Now she just had a bout against Ah-Wei Lee. That's awesome. It just recently passed. She wasn't successful and here are my thoughts on that Because of truly who she is at her core, her character. That's why she lost. You know she's not a good person at her core, so, but we'll get into that later on. But he's coached Sean Strickland. Um, another piece of crap. Um, a lot of these people can't like you know, somebody that bites the hand that fed them at any point in your time in your life. You're a piece of crap. It's like I'm sitting here with you one day, right now, right, and you turn around you stab me in the back.
Speaker 1:Stab me in the back like damn rupert. You see what I'm saying. Like it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:it doesn't matter if I, if I lose contact with you from here on out. No, I still owe you that loyalty to speak good on your name, we had good interactions. But these people, you see, but that's why their careers are going the way they're going. But okay, I'm sorry, I'm getting off track Back to Street Beats.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, when you were fighting in the backyard All this traitorous activity.
Speaker 2:man no, get it out there dude, all this traitorous activity, man?
Speaker 1:No, get it out there, dude, it's going to get out there man, it's going to get out there.
Speaker 2:But so 2020? Now they announced lockdowns and I'm actively going through the separation, the battle at home, right, but what led me to even fight, man, is crazy spiritual, because after I learned to walk again on my own, I started to work for a security company at a dispensary, where I met a gentleman that was the hiring manager for the security guards at Monster Energy Nice. So here's the story starts I had worked for Monster Energy. I'm meeting fighters. Now I'm meeting the gentleman in charge of sponsoring all the fighters, hans Mollenkamp. And one day Hans gives me some free tickets. He's like hey, man, you want to? You ever watch a man? No, I've never been to a show, but he's like you want to go. I was like he's like right there on terry. I was like man, baby, yeah, I'll take it. Um, so I take my wife at the time. We go. We go to the show. Lo and behold man. What are the chances of this?
Speaker 2:Kevin holland he fights in ufc currently, right now went to high school with kevin. I used to smoke with kevin and his grandpa. We're childhood friends. I told kevin no when kevin. He might lie about it, but kevin wanted to join my clique in high school. Yeah, I told him no, right, he to me. He was a skater, you know, but great guy, I didn't take anything from him for being a skater. I just thought, no, this life isn't for you. I was always that, that person too. If I could, if I thought you weren't that type of person, I wouldn't even let you engage over here. You know so. But long story short, kevin's fighting.
Speaker 2:That night, on the King of the Cage card that I got from Hans, I reached out to Kevin on Facebook. On Facebook, hey, dude, I want to try this MMA. Where should I go? Kevin's the one that got me training with my coach that I'm still with to this day. That's awesome. But fast forward 2020, things are on lock. Now my coach mentioned Street Beavis. He's like I want you to stay active, man. I don't want you to get like no ring rest or anything. I think you should compete. I was like I never heard of it, but I'll check it out. Start watching the fights online. It's right up my alley, man, I could do this. So, yeah, I fought a guy named Fairplay. He came from Jersey. Shout out to Fairplay, shout out to Jersey man, honorable guy, man, great guy. He came from Jersey, nobody wanted to fight him and I'm sitting here like there's no way you're going to come to California and nobody wants to fight you, so I'll fight you. Yeah, so he was like MMA.
Speaker 2:In my thinking process at the time, I felt that I could have beat him in MMA. I said that's not going to go viral. I said I need something to go viral. Right In my mind's eye is can I gain the traction, can I gain the attention of the people, regardless of the outcome? Because I lost. Let's get that out the way. But what exactly did I lose Exactly? It went all three rounds went to a decision. No, that's a win, dude, it's a win. It was a great learning experience. He follows me on social media, but we did. I think in the first six months we did like a million views.
Speaker 1:That's a lot dude yeah.
Speaker 2:I've been in this social media game now for two years's. Hitting a million is freaking hard, dude. Street beefs is a big platform. Yeah, so I knew. I knew that. So the numbers are there, but you still have to be like you know how all these guys be complaining about money they earn and stuff that's their own fault. Think about it, right boring.
Speaker 1:What makes you want to watch any of these guys. I like watching nate diaz fights and because he has personality.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that, that's Stockton man, right? You know what I mean? Yeah, he has that California personality. Yeah, kevin's doing well, they call him Big Mouth. That California personality? Yeah, you know shit, california. We're going to talk man Facts, dude, but a lot of these guys. They're, you know.
Speaker 1:Real quick guess is that a lot of people probably have a misconception of people from california thinking all those liberal hippies, man, is it really like that over here, or there's some solid?
Speaker 2:dudes.
Speaker 2:It's some solid dudes man listen they don't call this the west coast for no reason, man. Hey, coast with me. Man, it's a lot of culture here. Um, I was called. Look at, look at the product. I'm a product of this culture. Yeah, do you know, before nipsey hussle passed, man, I, I had the honor. Man, thank you, jesus.
Speaker 2:Shout out to my cousin. His portrait is on my back. He's the one I lost after Britain. Okay, he took me to Nipsey when he was dealing out of his trunk, so to see what he built to Awesome, dude, you know, because all those neighborhoods are connected and I owe my life to Brandon, because Brandon was the one that to the stupidity I was trying to get involved in.
Speaker 2:He took me around to different neighborhoods and he showed me how real reputables from those neighborhoods lived. I was just, I'm causing chaos in IE, but these guys, this is their reality every day. Yeah, it's no joke. It's no joke and I'm forever grateful for him, for showing me that, because in a sense, he saved my life. So you still train MMA. Yes, it's been six years, that's what's up since my wife that show. She looked at me. She said if you took this serious, yeah, this would be nothing to you. And it's like I think that was her mission, how I brought her dad into her life. Yeah, I think she brought my mission to me with this mma, because I've lost a lot behind it, including her, and the day I started out I knew that was a possibility, but I was willing to accept anything.
Speaker 1:What future goals or aspirations do you have for yourself and your life?
Speaker 2:My future goals and aspirations. I do want to go to law school. I think it's one of my dad's only regrets. Like I said, in just 10 years, at 49 years old, with seven kids, he went to his PhD here, became a professor. He taught English and psychology, but one of his regrets was law school. He said if I would have just had the time I would have done law school.
Speaker 2:And the thing is, I'm not really a school person, but I've always been smart. I tried to suppress that, but I've always been smart. I tried to suppress that. My, my intelligence, my intelligentness, I'm smart. I suppressed it to try to become fit in, you know. So it's something I know I could do, absolutely dude. Yes, I can see that a hundred percent. That's my long-term goal. But my goal for right now is to embark upon this mission and to talk to the kids that are in the positions where I was and tell them that it does get better. It doesn't matter what environment you've been birthed in. You know diamonds are in the muddiest and shittiest conditions. You know survive. You'll shine again one day, but you can't use this as an excuse.
Speaker 1:If you could give a final message to the youth out there, what would you tell them, man?
Speaker 2:Don't use your position in life at the moment as an excuse. Um, weaponize it as energy. Use it to uh to guide you to the next level. Different levels require different uh, different versions of yourself. Don't quit on the you right now. The pain, unfortunately, how bad it might feel, is for a reason and it's going to reveal you to your higher self. But you got to hold on in order for that to happen.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir, no man steps in the same river twice. Where it's not the same man, it's not the same river. It's not the same river. That's true. That's what it reminded me of man You're going to you're different stages of life is going to require a different level of you. Yes, Fuck dude. Well, I want to thank you, man, for that experience. I knew this was going to be a banger bro.
Speaker 2:I knew this was going barely nothing, man. It was just like I was telling you. It was random how I was just sitting here scrolling through the Explore page and it just was in there and I said, oh, let me click on that. And now we're here. That's God, dude, that's God man.
Speaker 1:So once again, rupert, thanks for coming out.
Speaker 2:man Pleasure having you guys here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Appreciate you. Knowledge you can't get anywhere else except here.
Speaker 2:So if you like what you saw, make sure you hit that subscribe button. Love you guys. Keep pushing forward unhinged line. Hector's legend engraved.
Speaker 1:Living life raw, never been tamed. From the hood to the truth entails plan hector bra won't hinge. Story never ends.
