Hector Bravo UNHINGED
Official Hector Bravo Podcast
Hector Bravo UNHINGED
Breaking Free from Trauma: Ernie Mariscal's Path to Healing
Former Army veteran Ernie Mariscal shares his powerful journey from troubled youth to military service and his struggle with PTSD after combat deployment.
• Growing up in Brawley, California and dropping out of school at 16 to live on the streets
• Finding direction after a life-threatening encounter with a gunman at a drug house
• Joining the Army in 1991 and experiencing the culture shock of basic training
• Deploying to Iraq in 2004 as a Staff Sergeant in charge of recovery operations
• Witnessing the aftermath of combat violence, including retrieving a Humvee after a fatal RPG attack
• Struggling with alcoholism, PTSD, and failed relationships after returning home
• Reaching the breaking point after retirement, cycling through five jobs and contemplating suicide
• Finding purpose through speaking to at-risk youth, which became his saving grace
• Building a new life focused on speaking, running his businesses, and maintaining his mental health
• Creating Keep Up the Fight cigars and apparel as part of his mission to help others struggling with similar challenges
For bookings and more information, find Ernie Mariscal on Instagram, Facebook, or visit keepuptofightapparel.com.
Hector Bravo unhinged.
Speaker 2:Chaos is now in session.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to our channel Warriors. We are still growing today. Another banger for you guys. Man, a special treat. Somebody from my hometown, ernie Mariscal, former Army veteran and motivational speaker. Glad to have you on the show, bro. Hey, appreciate you having me here, man, it's honor. Thank you, yeah, we were discussing earlier. I saw you traveled from fresno today.
Speaker 2:Yes, I flew in just about a couple hours ago.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool. Well, thanks for making it. Man shit, thanks for inviting me. So you grew up in imperial.
Speaker 2:So I grew up in brawley, so I was born in uvalde, texas, you know where all that mass shooting happened. I was born in that little town. It's about the same size as Brawley, so I was born there. When I was about six months old, we moved to Brawley and then I grew up there and I graduated and I dropped out of school. Actually, I was living in the streets at 16 years old. I don't know if you want to go that far.
Speaker 1:Absolutely 16 years old. You dropped out? Yeah, because you need a high school diploma to join the military, yes, so what happened?
Speaker 2:So my dad kicked me out. I was just running the street doing bad things and my dad kicked me out so I dropped out of school at the same time. So I was living in the streets, basically from friend's house to friend's house and doing what I wanted. You know, I tried to be the cool kid which I wasn't and I was actually at one by the projects, at a dope house, and I was hanging out and this guy showed up with a gun and had a gun in my face asking for money, asking for dope, and in that moment, man, I was like shit, man, I'm 17 years old and this is it for me.
Speaker 2:So after that, the guy luckily he left and I called my mom, man. And then I was like hey, mom, this happened to me. And my mom was like all right, well, I'm going to come get you and you're going to go live with your brother. And so I went to go live with my brother, went back to school. After I graduated, I left. Where was your brother living? He was living right behind Jack in a Box in those apartments.
Speaker 1:I forgot the name, but in Brawley, yes. So you got out of school a little early. You started running the streets, ended up in the projects with a gun to your face, space and, yes, the epiphany you had an. You had an epiphany, yeah, a forceful one, right, it happens sometimes, man, oh, definitely. What gave you the idea to join the military?
Speaker 2:I had, uh, some uncles that were in the military. I had one that was, uh, an officer, actually graduated, graduated from west point. He was my mom's sister's husband, so I see him. And then I saw my other uncle from, actually, another sister from my mom, he was in the military too. He was in the Army as well. So we would go see him at Fort Cham, houston, nice, and so I saw all these guys in uniform, you know, disciplined all these things, and I was like man I want. And then, you know, back in the 80s there was a lot of war movies and you know, disciplined all these things, and I was like man I want. And then, you know, back in the eighties there was a lot of war movies, and you know, rambo and shit like that.
Speaker 1:They had good commercials back in the day, man, yes, yes, so you know, be all you can be, you know.
Speaker 2:And then I was kind of like looking at that and I was like, man, you know, I want to be something and of course. So after I graduated I was like let's go do that.
Speaker 1:When you graduated? How long after, until you took off to the Army Right after?
Speaker 2:Actually, my mom said this to me she goes I don't know what you're going to do, but you're not going to do it here. And then basically, she was like get the hell out Absolutely. And then that's where the Army came in. What year was that? That was in October of 1991.
Speaker 1:Had the Gulf War happened? Was it happening?
Speaker 2:Actually it was happening and then it ended in January, I believe, of that year.
Speaker 1:So when you joined, you went to basic training. Was there people, were your superiors, talking about the Gulf War or anything? Not really, no.
Speaker 2:I did have some Vietnam veterans that were still in and when I went through basic, veterans that were still in and when I went through basic man, it was crazy when did you go to basic? At Fort Sill, oklahoma?
Speaker 1:right. Was that your first time? Besides being born in Texas? Was that your first time being out of the state like that?
Speaker 2:No, Well, we would always travel, because I have family in Arizona and we would travel through all that stuff. So that wasn't my first time out of state, but that was my first time alone. So when I got to Fort Sill and see, here's the funny part about it so when I got there they left me in a transitional barracks for a week. So we weren't doing basic, we weren't doing Army shit.
Speaker 1:It was like reception.
Speaker 2:Yes, for a week. So me, you know, I'm didn't know anything in life. So I have these drill sergeants. They weren't yelling at us, they weren't doing nothing, they were just calm and collective. So they would just be like, hey, study these, you know tanks or aircraft, you know russian, blah, blah, blah. And so we would go eat, come back to sleep, and then on the fifth day of Friday, they said, hey, you're going to be picked up by your basic training, right? So we're all lined up and there's a parade field in front of us and across the parade field, three cattle trucks pull up and in my mind I'm like what the fuck is this? And I just seen six guys huge dudes were round, browns like walking at a fast pace towards us. And by the time they got close to us they were like you better jump in that truck. Like it's on fire, right, man? That was the worst fun day of my life.
Speaker 1:What were you feeling, what was your mentality when you were alone for the first time? And during that one week period, uh, you're basically. It feels like purgatory.
Speaker 2:I was scared you were scared, yes, scared, nervous of the unknown because, again, you know, I grew up in this small town, right, and I didn't know shit. And trying to, I know, in in our culture it's always negative, you know, scary something bad's gonna happen, right. So it was like that exactly.
Speaker 1:So there you are, fucking. You said you were you eating in the chow hall. Yes, yeah, and probably back, because I remember, I remember reception. You were able to eat, like the cake, you were able to eat the ice cream, but then, when they pick you up, all that gone correct.
Speaker 2:Yes, so we had a. I remember it was like swallow it and taste it later, correct. And everywhere we went you had to run.
Speaker 1:You couldn't walk explain to the crowd what a cattle truck is, man so?
Speaker 2:basically a cattle truck is what they pick up cattle in. You know they, it looks, has those sidings with holes in it. You know cows piss out of it and everything. It stunk bad too, by the way, and looking back at it I understood what they were doing. They're making you feel like shit, like you don't matter, but everybody didn't matter together and that was the whole part of it, because it broke you down and you know, being in basic man, I was like at zero. But then they built your confidence back up, little by little by little by little.
Speaker 1:Is that what you took the cattle trucks for? Because I mean it could also just be like a transportation thing. But I could also see the demoralizing of being in that all steel nut to butt.
Speaker 2:Yes, I mean how packed were you guys in there, oh man, just like you said it, and we all had for me I had a duffel in the front, duffel in the back, and then I was carrying two bags, yeah. So every time they said, look inward, look outward, and I'm short as hell. So every time they did that I was getting smacked around. But you had to do what you had to do, right.
Speaker 1:Were they also giving you unrealistic time limits to accomplish goals? Yes, what do you think, looking back in hindsight, was the purpose of that?
Speaker 2:To get better. You know, in a sense, where you got to think before you react, kind of thing Like okay, how am I going to execute this and how fast can I do it? You know, I would see it like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, were you enjoying this during this time? No, you weren't embracing it. You weren't enjoying it. Yeah, were you enjoying this?
Speaker 2:during this time? No, you weren't embracing it, you weren't enjoying it. Were you hating it? I wasn't hating it because I was still in that unknown phase. I didn't know what the hell next was going to happen. I mean, we would go to bed by I don't know 10 and we'd wake up by 3. So we barely had enough sleep. And again, I don't know none of this shit Getting up at o'clock in the morning. Never heard of, you know at that age.
Speaker 1:How about the physical portion? Were you guys ruck marking?
Speaker 2:yes, we're running every morning yes, pt, and every morning getting up doing pt, I think by zero four, and doing it, I don't remember how long, but anyway, yeah, we were running row, marching, we were doing it all. And back then I don't know how it is now, but back then I know it was really straight to your face kind of thing. And I can tell you one example where we were in formation and there was this Puerto Rican guy next to me and the drill sergeant was like, hey, this is what we're going to do, this is how we're going to do it, blah, blah, blah. And this Puerto Rican dude was like I'm not going to do it, it's always the Puerto Ricans man. And you know what, in the back of my mind I was like, oh shit, it's about to pop off.
Speaker 2:That drill sergeant grabbed him. And what was crazy is, when that drill sergeant grabbed him, like three other drill sergeants showed up out of nowhere and they grabbed him and they drug him behind the formation and all I could hear was like, oh, ah, they were beating the shit out of him. Just when I came back around, stood in front of the formation, looked at us and said Privates, you guys see anything? Nope, no man, that was wild.
Speaker 1:But guess what, after that shit, dude was straight he was oh yes, it's funny how that works, huh yeah funny how it works A little wall-to-wall counseling man, since we're on this subject and I like what you just said and I think we've gotten away from that are you able to identify between what is hazing and what is developing discipline? Is there some things that are warranted and some things that are not?
Speaker 2:Ooh man, that's a good one.
Speaker 1:Oh bro, all I ask are good ones.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I think when we would do the wall to wall because there was other things we would do, you know, the blanket parties and things like that I thought that was kind of like discipline, getting people straight because you wanted your platoon to get straight. Because one guy fucks it up, everybody's going to pay for it, correct, everybody going to pay for it, correct. So I thought that was good. And then when we moved forward, you know, into my service in my younger years, getting promoted, you know, we dug the ranks in the chest Pounded in Blood rank, blood rank, yes, and I mean I thought that was like a rite of passage, absolutely, you know, and we loved it. And then we would line everybody up in and file line, and then we would have the guy run in between and we would punch the shit out of them, right, and I mean it was I agree.
Speaker 1:I agree it built, I agree it builds character, it does, it does and I liked it. And you know what. The public may not agree with that and that's fine. But, and you know, they did at one point try to put women in the infantry. Actually they did put women in the infantry but I was never on board with that because I understand what it takes to be in a unit like that cohesive unit of men, of warriors. So to say yes, yeah, well.
Speaker 2:So I was always with mechanized infantry, so I was headquarters, but all the the alpha bravo, charlie delta were all infantrymen, right. So I supported the infantry company, but right so I supported the infantry company, but we would always train with the infantry, absolutely. So the thing was just like you said, to build that warrior you've got to go through some shit together. Right, and when you do that shit together, there's nothing that can break you guys as one man. Because there was some units that I was in, especially when we went to Korea. I was in 1-9 Infantry. We were like a gang over there.
Speaker 1:Really yes. So you say you got your headquarters. What unit was that where you were headquarters? And then Okay, so every unit.
Speaker 2:after when I got to, when I graduated basic, I went to AIT for six months. Damn, that's a long fucking time, yeah man. So we had to study the Bradley.
Speaker 1:What did you guys learn?
Speaker 2:How to take off the track no, not that part, because that was all weapon systems.
Speaker 1:So I did all the electrical systems 25 Mike Mike, 25 Mike Mike Bushmaster, what?
Speaker 2:about the Halon. The Halon system, that was more hull side, so I was turret side, weapon side, okay, so I knew about that. And the tow system and the tow Okay, so that's what I had to learn about the schematics, electrical systems, all that stuff. So I had to learn how to troubleshoot it, how it works. You know all the nine yards, yeah. So from there I went to Fort Riley, kansas. That was my first unit, 116th Infantry, devil Rangers. Man. That was hardcore shit, man. And to top it off, I was like I think I was the only hispanic dude in my company, so I was headquarters, company headquarters, 116th infantry. And then, like I said, alpha bravo, charlie delta, we had echo back then. Okay, and that was the um, there were the hotels, basically the tow mounted on the humvees, yes, yeah, because back then they had different.
Speaker 1:You were like 11 hotel, which was the humvees 11 mike, which back then they had different. You were like 11 hotel, which was the humvees 11 mike, which was mechanized, yes, and then it would switch over to 11 bravo or 11 charlie morterman yes, so we had all that in that okay, and during that time, those are the good old years, bro, though I look at them as a good old years yes, um, when you had issues back then the guys solved them yes, they. They got handled. America only got softer after those years.
Speaker 2:Yes, I agree. I would say during. I'm trying to remember the years, I want to say in 2008-ish timeframe that's when they started allowing the trans, the transgenders, whatever all that so we can get to that and we can identify, how you know we can identify it together.
Speaker 1:Um, so, back then you're going to basic let's, let's talk about it. Now you go to your unit. What is the army's focus on training their soldiers? Is it transgender training? Is you know what I mean? When I got to my first unit, correct like let's, were they focused on war fighting and it was all war fighting, exactly it was always training.
Speaker 2:So if we weren't at the motor pool working on vehicles, whatever it is, you were doing hip pocket training or shooting at the range, shooting at the range. So the the um, the grunts, they would go do the training. We would do, do our training. It was always training. We were always getting ready to fight and it was about rush of this, rush of that. Rush of this rush of that. When we went out and trained we had those little Ivans. We would shoot at the little Ivans. When we would go out to the gunnery for the Bradleys, we were shooting at BMPs, t-72s or whatever. It was 70 tunes or whatever it was. We were shooting at that. It was all tank shit or open field battles.
Speaker 1:What would happen if, back in that timeframe, if one of your platoon mates would say hey guys, today I'm Mandy, I identify as a woman.
Speaker 2:What would happen in that era, in that moment, they would probably got their ass kicked and got kicked out.
Speaker 1:I wish I could play sound effects, but I'll probably have to edit it in somehow. But you know I don't encourage ass kickings, but I understand the time frame you know.
Speaker 2:One of the biggest things is when, in our unit, you know when somebody from the outside or somebody wasn't one of the guys you got fucked up, you know.
Speaker 1:You just reminded me of something, bro. Like, yeah, I remember, like when we got out of the Army, one of my good brothers still my brother till this day you know, we kind of found out some more truth about him. And we're like, bro, you're lucky we didn't find this shit out when we were in the Army. Dude, we would have fucking, you know, kick your ass, bro, we would have ostracized you, but now we're fucking, you know, mature adults and, yes, you're our brother.
Speaker 2:So whatever, bro, yeah I mean to each their own man correct. You know you keep that stuff to yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's what I feel yeah, but the focus, right, the focus of the military wars winning wars, and I will dive into the whole political, uh you know, going on iran, israel and all that other crazy shit. From your perspective, these Bradleys were during this time frame. How was the equipment? Was it good? To me it was good. I mean, they weren't yeah they were effective.
Speaker 2:I mean that .25 Mike, mike man, it penetrated. You know, solid steel, I mean it would go through. I remember some of the guys that were in Desert Storm. They would tell me how they were just ripping through the BMPs, whatever the T-72s I believe they were. I mean they were just ripping them up and they were telling me how they were slaughtering people, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's definitely a weapon system capable of slaughtering people. Yes, by the masses.
Speaker 2:Yes and that's what it's designed for, correct? I mean, we're not going in there to be nice guys correct.
Speaker 1:Uh, when, what year did you deploy to iraq?
Speaker 2:I deployed in 2004 and came back in 2005. What was your rank? I? I was a staff sergeant at that time, god damn bro.
Speaker 1:So see, that's what I like. I like that you joined in the 90s. You had some time under your belt. Any point in between there did you reenlist?
Speaker 2:Yes, I reenlisted, I think twice already Twice yes.
Speaker 1:Were you attempting to make it a career or was it spontaneous decisions?
Speaker 2:Actually, you spontaneous decisions. Actually, you know that. Remember, when I told you about that fear of the unknown, correct, it went back to the fear of the unknown. Being a civilian makes sense, right?
Speaker 1:so I kept going, kept going, because this is all I knew I I figure a lot of soldiers experience that, a lot of military service members not me. I wanted to get the hell out, bro. I didn't. I don't do good with authority man I'm.
Speaker 2:You know what you're. You're right, I wasn't either, but there was always physical. You know right, get back in line discipline.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, um, so you go as a staff sergeant. Bro, do you have troops?
Speaker 2:underneath you. Yes, I, I don't remember how many. I think I had 10 or 11, shit, shit, yeah. So I ran a recovery section. So what a recovery section is is I have 88s. I think I had three 88s. I had one 10-ton wrecker, so basically I was like the tow truck service for the mileys yeah. Well, no, no, 88 mics were truck drivers.
Speaker 1:So the 88s were those big ones that have the big yeah, the boom on it and stuff.
Speaker 2:Correct the boom, the spade in the front.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, so those big boys are 56 tons, so they would go out, or we would go out and grab snatch Bradleys that broke down or whatever happened to them and bring them back. How did that look in your guys'? Did you guys have a motor pool In Iraq? Yeah, a makeshift one. Where were you at? What part of Iraq?
Speaker 2:So we were in northern Baghdad. That was in fact Haifa.
Speaker 1:Street. You know where Haifa Street was. One of my good friends, Hector Leja, was killed on Haifa Street.
Speaker 2:Very bad area, so we were just down the street from there.
Speaker 1:Bad area, and I'm assuming it was bad in 04, 05?
Speaker 2:Oh yes, Well see, when we showed up in April 1st of 2004. Yeah, so that's when the transition was happening. The invasion force.
Speaker 1:Oh, bro. We mean you were in Iraq in the same exact time. Then that showed up in March 2004.
Speaker 2:That's when I showed up March, at the end of March. So day one was April 1st. Okay, that's when we actually got into Baghdad to our FOB on that night. So I remember you know, we got there so we were all going to set up in tents. The guys that were already there were in the hard buildings. So we're in the back 40.
Speaker 2:I'm laying in my tent and I remember I could see the boon, and I'm laying down in bed in my cot and I'm like man, I'm in combat man and I was nervous. I was afraid'm in combat man, right, and I was nervous. I was afraid, you know, scared or whatever you want to call it. And right when I said that I just saw RPG, boom, they started attacking us. Come to find out what they were doing. For one, they were trying to scare us. Two, they were testing us. So what happened? Is they set up across the river I forgot what river that was. Across the river was the I forgot the name of it a side city or something like that. It was another bad area. And what happened is that they were setting up ambushes for the QRFs. So what happened? When the QRFs was going out and they had soft Humvees, too soft-skinned Humvees, so they— who?
Speaker 1:had soft Humvees. Our guys, your guys, had soft Humvees. You guys didn't take the.
Speaker 2:Bradleys Negative. Well, they were the QRF guys, so the Bradleys were already out. So they sent the Humvees soft-skinned Humvees as QRF, and that was it's because across the river was 3-8 Cav and we were 1-9 Cav, so 3-8 Cav was the ones that sent the soft skins and they lost seven guys in that moment. In that incident. They lost seven guys, seven guys.
Speaker 1:From the outgoing unit or the incoming unit. That was from the incoming unit. Okay, I mean it's fucking horrible news either way, but it would have sucked for it to be the outgoing unit. Exactly horrible news either way, but it would have sucked for it to be the outgoing unit, exactly.
Speaker 2:Well, there's a little bit more to that one um. So one of them was I don't know if you remember um last name was sheehan the mom that kept um protesting at george bush's ranch and stuff. The name is ringing a bell. So her son was that in that uh convoy. Okay, so that's what started that. But back to what I was saying. So that night, you know, we got baptized into combat and that changed my whole perspective as sort of like man this is real shit, man, you know. And but again, when that happened started throwing soldiers a, directing them into bunkers and stuff like that, training took over. You know, go back to that. That training, training, training, training, training. It all just kicks in, man, it's like muscle memory when that shit kicks off was it a big fob it was, I would say, yes, it was a big fob bigger.
Speaker 1:What did it have on there? Did it have like a internet cafe? Yes, we had little stores and stuff. You guys had little stores.
Speaker 2:Yeah, damn, that's cool man, yeah it was nice, all our food was mermited in, so okay, it wasn't fancy, okay, but it was okay. Um, now the, the force that we're replacing, they got extended.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, yeah, what unit was that? If you do you remember, it was first ad for oh yeah, the first hour. How did those soldiers look to you? They were pissed off man, no. But how did they look Like all salty and shot like veterans? Yes, yes I remember their uniform, like we relieved the fourth ID, and they look like fucking OGs man, yes, they wanted to get the fuck out of there.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, they had attitudes and I don't blame them. Well, they were pissed off.
Speaker 2:They were everything man and we really didn't talk to them and I remember the guy that kind of was in control of the whole fob, our fob. He was a staff sergeant, squared away, dude, right. So he was briefing us on the fob, the areas and stuff like that, what to do and what not to do. And I remember him saying he go, we built this fob and he goes, and I kind of don't like having it to leave it to you guys. Why? Because you're going to fuck it up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I could see that, and you know, he had ownership Right.
Speaker 2:So they got deployed to, they got shifted over to Nazareth or some shit like that Nazarea, nazarea. And a week later, man, he got killed in the car bomb. The uh e6 did. Yeah, damn him and I, I think it was like five or six soldiers and there was. They should have been gone home already. And I was like, damn, that sucked that, that sucked man. And one of the biggest things for me is when we had our first KIA. So again, you know, recovery. They brought the Humvee, the RPG, went through the front windshield, took out the driver man. I think everything went in slow motion after that. You know, seeing that going through that and opening up the Humvee and seeing, you know, brain matter everywhere, that right there, that right there is something that I will never forget and in fact just talking about it right now puts me back in that moment and going slowly through everything.
Speaker 1:What kind of Humvee was it Up armored Humvee? Triple one, four, yes, one one one, one four.
Speaker 2:one four yes.
Speaker 1:And the RPG hit the windshield yes, and the RPG hit the windshield yes, went through the windshield. Did the RPG detonate on impact or did it? It went through it. So the RPG went through the windshield yes, and detonated inside of the Humvee Negative.
Speaker 2:It went straight through it, so it went through. If you remember, in the back area there was vents, yeah, so it went through the windshield and it went out the vent. So never detonated, never detonated. And it d I would assume it decapitated the a soldier?
Speaker 1:yes, it, I wouldn't say it decapitated, just just obliterated? Yeah, basically, um, and was there? Do you? From what you recall, was it one casualty or were there numerous casualties? Just one?
Speaker 2:was he? Was he the driver? He was the driver and the lieutenant was the passenger. Fuck man.
Speaker 1:The lieutenant survived, so and you're on the FOB at this point in time. Yes, they brought back the Humvee. Did you guys know beforehand what they were going to be bringing back? Yes, you guys did know. Yes, did you guys know the moment they got attacked? Negative, negative.
Speaker 2:So all we knew was they were bringing back a KIA, or not the KIA, but the Humvee that got hit with an RPG.
Speaker 1:Okay, and was that the first time you saw brain matters like that? Were you mentally prepared for what you were about to see? No, when you saw that, what kind of thoughts went through your head.
Speaker 2:It wasn't more thoughts, it was more like reality. Like you know, it sucks and there's nothing you could do to change anything. But you had a mission and you got to keep pushing forward.
Speaker 1:What was your duties and responsibility at that point with that vehicle?
Speaker 2:So what we were going to do, we're going to prepare it to ship out. They were going to take it back to Kuwait, so we had to get it prepared. We had to clean it out, in a sense. Fuck dude.
Speaker 1:Damn bro. I never even not once, did it ever consider my mind of us bringing vehicles like that back to the mechanics in the maintenance bay and them having to deal with the aftermath.
Speaker 2:And his squad members were helping us too. Nobody was talking, but everybody was helping.
Speaker 1:Fuck dude. Yeah, shit After that. Was it continuous, continuous, ongoing stuff like that, or was it? Did you guys catch a little break here and there?
Speaker 2:from what I remember either, those guys when the, when the guys would go out, they would get attacked daily. We would get probably mortared, probably every other day.
Speaker 1:Maybe you know what about rockets as well? That too? Did you guys have a protocol where you go to a bunker of some sort or you kind of whatever?
Speaker 2:you know you funny. You say that because at the beginning it was bunker time, right, but towards the middle I didn't give a shit. Yeah, nobody did I just stayed still and I was like okay, if it hits you, I'm alive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and it was like that so explain to the crowd how that happens, how that initially your first time getting exposed to indirect fire, you're you're scared and you want to take cover. After it's happening so many times, you literally don't care.
Speaker 2:I didn't care, and not only that. I understand death now to where I'm not afraid of it. I mean I don't want it, but it's going to happen, so when it does I'm okay with it. Makes sense to me.
Speaker 1:Was it a one-year deployment?
Speaker 2:Yes, did you go on R&R? Yes, I did, I was the last one. I let all my guys go first and then I was the last one.
Speaker 1:Nice how did you feel about R&R?
Speaker 2:Did you one nice? How'd you feel about r&r? Did you not want to go back? Actually, I wanted to be. I wanted, I never wanted to leave because I wanted my, I want to be with my guys. Yeah, and real quick.
Speaker 2:So on our first actual mission, we had uh in our sector. We had, um, a car bomb go off and I think it was some delta force guys got killed. So they got a hold of me and they said hey, ernie, you know, sorry, my god, you're gonna go out with the wrecker and grab that, that uh vehicle and bring it back. I was scared man. So at first I told lopez and uh, chavarria, I was like, hey, you're gonna go out there, chain up, dude, chain it up and just drag it back, man, don't stop. And I could see both my guys' faces that were scared as fuck. Man, I was scared as fuck. But in that moment, man, that NCO kicked in and I said Chavarria, you're staying, lopez, anything that happens to you is going to happen to me. And then his face just, oh, fuck, yes, that's cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it gives you a like, puts you at ease a bit, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean at the end of the day. If anything was to happen, I'd rather it happen to me.
Speaker 1:Well, I can see that, bro, for sure. That's what a good leader does Leads by example.
Speaker 2:This is also another thing I remember when we deployed, one of the dads from my soldiers came up to me and goes hey, bring my son back.
Speaker 1:I was like shit, that's a big responsibility, man, that's a big. You know what I mean? Because, yeah, that shit hit me. What did those recovery missions look like?
Speaker 2:um, it depended on what type of vehicle it was, but it was always. I mean, we got proficient at it. Man, we would go out there just snatch them up and haul ass you guys got proficient compared to the beginning.
Speaker 1:Yes, why were you guys like fumbling around? You know how to they didn't know.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know, we didn't know what the hell we were doing it. In a sense, we didn't. We were scared because you had to think about the outside you know, people pulling security for you guys.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, the guys were doing it. You know the grunts they were pulling the security. We would go out there. But at the same time, you know you're still afraid of what what's going to happen, you know. You got to watch your perimeter, you know, but again it went back to. You know what these guys got it. You know, if it happens, it happens. Right, man, we just snatched up and rolled out how long does the recovery process take?
Speaker 2:it depends on what type of situation you're in man, car bombs, um, or a vehicle breakdown. It just you know you're more at ease, more relaxed, and you just snatch them up and then haul ash. We chain them up first, lift them up and roll out. Now if it's a situation where it's more relaxed, then we hook up with the tow bar and then we pull the vehicle Murphy's Law ever happened where something went horribly south during a recovery.
Speaker 1:Actually, we had a 12-hour recovery mission. What was up with that so?
Speaker 2:the guys. They were in the Bradley. So a platoon was patrolling an area. Well, they went over some railroad tracks and then they had the track on one side of the railroad track. The railroad track was in the middle, so what happened? They pivoted, knocked off the track. Damn, another Bradley goes out there to get that. Gets stuck in the mud. Damn. Another Bradley comes out there to get that. Gets stuck in the mud. Damn, another Bradley comes out stuck in the mud. Damn yes. So we sent an 88 out Gets stuck in the mud. So we had to send another 88. It was shit, that's bad man. And then they started getting attacked. Of course, yeah, that was wild. And this whole time I'm trying to leave, I'm like, hey, I need to go out there. They're like, no, no, you got to control it from back here. You got to control it back here. I'm like, fuck this man, but it is what it is, you got to take orders.
Speaker 1:So after that deployment you come back stateside. Yes, were you suffering from any like PTSD?
Speaker 2:at that point. You know what, looking back at it, I didn't know Right, but I was, and I'll tell you the red flags right now. Yeah, so we get back the first night. I get back, we get fucking drunk Me and all my guys get shit-faced drunk. Next day we get drunk again, and well, they give us 30 days off, right when you land. So we were drinking, drinking, drinking. I really didn't spend time with my family, my kids. You know, I didn't know how to be a dad again. I did. You had kids during your deployment. Yes, that's rough, dude. Yeah, man, that is rough. I think it was hard on my son, but I didn't know how to turn the switch off. How many kids did you have? Two? You had two kids.
Speaker 1:Yes, how hard was that being deployed to iraq, bro, with two little ones? They were little, yes, little ones at home.
Speaker 2:You know, honestly, I didn't even really think about them. Okay, I know that probably sounds bad yeah not in a bad way. It's just like your focus, man, correct, this is life and death. Did I miss them? Yes, but you know, it's just focus on mission Right, it's just focused on mission right. Um, but when I did call home, it was probably every week, you know, because it was hard to get online that the internet would go down like there was no tomorrow, you know yeah, so it was hard.
Speaker 1:Every time a soldier got killed it was blackout, yeah and um.
Speaker 2:So it was just. It was just working all the time, man, and stayed busy and busy. And I think when I got back I had to stay busy at something and I didn't know what to do anymore. And after coming back, man, it was just drinking. I was self-medicating myself with alcohol.
Speaker 1:Prior to Iraq. Were you drinking as well? I would party. Yes, I would drink.
Speaker 2:But this was more turnt up. Oh yes, I think I turned it up to 10 on that one. You did yes because I would get black out drunk now, like I would drink till I woke up the next day like, oh shit, what did I do? Where would you do it? In the barracks at the bar?
Speaker 1:at my house. I had a house, you had a house, yes, and you would just get smashed, yes, and then you wake up in the morning be like, oh shit, yes, and then would you start all over again.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't start drinking again. If the guys would come over. Yeah, we'd start partying again, but it was either I was staying busy, doing something, um, but I know I had issues. I had mood swings. I know loud bangs would trigger me. Sometimes I would freak out. You look around, like what the fuck? I did not like being in packed places, a lot of people. I don't like it. I still don't like it, right, I just don't like people behind me, things like that. And it was just a different person now and I didn't know how to deal with it. So alcohol was my go-to.
Speaker 1:So, looking back in hindsight, how much of a problem was alcohol? Very. Looking back in hindsight, how much of a problem was alcohol? Very bad, very bad. Yes. Self-medicating, self-medicating, abuse of alcohol, yes, everything, probably not knowing what was happening either, right, because, oh, 2005,. Mental health was not prevalent, oh, no. And also if you said you had mental health like ohacized yeah, what do they call that? A stigma at the time?
Speaker 2:thankfully, now in 2025, people are more comfortable and aware, but back then we were on our own man oh yeah, man, if you any type of weakness I mean going to sick call you're weak facts you know you still are and so you know I did. I just kept pushing forward man dealing with it by drinking. You know, work hard all week, drink hard on the weekend now.
Speaker 1:Was this solving your problems? No, it was making them worse, elaborate now.
Speaker 2:Well, I created family problems, right? Oh, I was married at that time okay, it's my first marriage, by the way, so I was having issues there. Um, I didn't feel connected. I didn't feel connected to my spouse, I didn't feel connected to my kids. I just I was a different person, man. I didn't know who I was anymore. I know I thought differently. You know, I just saw life differently. It's just something, a whole new world, and I didn't know who I was anymore. I know I thought differently. You know, I just saw life differently. It's just something, a whole new world, and I didn't know how to deal with it.
Speaker 1:Did you promote over there or you were still E6?
Speaker 2:So when I came back I in 2006, I got promoted E7.
Speaker 1:You were E7. Were you still drinking at that time? Yes, damn dude, I was still porting. You were yes, damn dude, I was still porting.
Speaker 2:You were yes, were you having a hard time managing being an E7 and with the drinking and with the relationship? I don't think so, because I just focused on drinking and working.
Speaker 1:That was the life you know. But ultimately you did not remain in that marriage Negative and I'm not going to say that's what the cause was, because I have no idea, but do you believe it contributed?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, definitely yeah, you know, but I can't, you know, I can't wallow in it or whatever you know it's done, it's gone, absolutely and move forward so how was coming back?
Speaker 1:and how was coming back after iraq, bro? Like, how was? Did you find garrison life boring or slow?
Speaker 2:yes, looking back at it now, the adrenaline wasn't there anymore. That that that high wasn't there, no more. So how do you find it? And that was a problem. So working hard, staying busy, drinking and just trying to do something that kept my mind busy, and I think I didn't give in to my kids. I didn't do anything really with my kids to help them. I was in some type of, you know, cruise control destruction. What age were they at this time? Oh man, I would say probably. I think my son was probably like seven, you know, seven, eight years old, and my daughter was probably like 10, 11.
Speaker 1:Were you engaging in any reckless behavior, looking for an adrenaline rush? I know I was doing a lot of drinking and driving. So you were doing a lot of drinking and driving. Yes, um, did you ever get a dui?
Speaker 2:yes, what during that time frame? Um, I think it was before. No, it was before.
Speaker 1:It was before before, bro so you were risking another fucking DUI? Yes, yes, and I'm sure you knew you weren't supposed to be drinking and driving. Oh hell, no, but yeah, I was fucking out At any point in time. Did you consider seeking help? No, why? That's weakness, or that's what you perceived to be.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes perceived as weakness is that a myth?
Speaker 1:that if you ask for help, you're a weak person? That's a myth. What's the reality?
Speaker 2:the reality is it's okay to not be okay, but you got to get help and you always got to reach out. Now that I did reach out, by the time I knew I was at zero when I got the help, that's when I realized, like you know what I was never honest with myself, correct, and that was the problem being honest with yourself and knowing that you need help, because nobody can help you until you're honest is post-traumatic stress disorder only for people that experience war.
Speaker 2:Negative Because I've experienced it before combat and that was when childhood, I had childhood trauma as well.
Speaker 1:So you had childhood trauma? Yes, then you go to Iraq. You get some more trauma, oh, yeah, then you come back and now you're just drinking up a storm. Yes, was there a breaking point for you when I retired? When you retired, yes, what?
Speaker 2:did that breaking point look like? So the breaking point for that one is the day that I retired, and when I do my speaking and stuff I tell about this. On the day that I retired I was so excited because, man, I was a sergeant first class. I mean, I had a 73 man platoon. Damn, I was responsible for millions upon millions of dollars of equipment. Man, I had all these, you know awards and all this shit, we left it all for the Taliban.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we left it all for the Taliban. Yeah, no shit.
Speaker 2:And I remember, man, people are going to be calling my phone, blowing up my emails, all these things. Nobody called me. I was putting applications in. I went through five jobs, man, I got fired.
Speaker 1:You got out of the Army. Yes, you got out of the Army, and then you applied for five jobs or you applied for a bunch of jobs.
Speaker 2:Yes, I've applied for jobs. I went through five jobs within my first year after retiring. Now, mind you, six guys for the unit that I deployed, with an old four or five committed suicide. So, man, you know, know, it's just getting that news. You know, not being able to transition, man, I felt like a loser, I felt were they from your, directly from your platoon, or for the other negative, there was all our, my whole unit, complete unit, some of the guys I knew, someone I didn't, and they committed suicide, suicide.
Speaker 1:Throughout what time frame? Throughout their whole career, they were offing themselves.
Speaker 2:Yes, damn, I know, man, it sucked. It was fucking horrible. Yeah, it's bad as fuck. And it is just more man, because the more that happened and the more I drank, the more I couldn't become a civilian. It was just, I was going lower and lower. I started questioning who I was, I started questioning my accomplishments and I started questioning my worth, Correct? So at that point, of course, alcohol is still there, right? And I got to a point, man, where I was going to kill myself. So I was like fuck it, I'm out of here too, man.
Speaker 1:I just and I was on my.
Speaker 2:Did you own a gun? Yes, and I was on my second marriage, by the way, so I wasn't getting support and I'm not trying to blame her for that, but what I'm going to say is that she didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know how to deal with it and it just, it just is what it is. Yeah, and so on the day actually where I was sitting in the garage, drunk as hell, and I was like you know what, I think it's time I the garage, drunk as hell, and I was like you know what, I think it's time I'm gonna fucking off myself and, um, I had a friend of mine call me, reach out to me and say, hey, man, can you come talk to the kids? And, um, that helped, that saved my life. So when I stood in front of those kids and talked to them, that's when I knew, fuck this, this is me right here, this, this is my purpose. I found it. And then, ever since then, man, shit gone up, were they his personal kids?
Speaker 1:or was it like a school? No?
Speaker 2:school. He was a teacher, I'm sorry. Yeah, at Brawley, really yes, and they were high-risk kids, by the way, so they were in the continuation.
Speaker 1:Oh man we probably have the same friend and I got the same opportunity, did you? Yeah, uh, so that damn, bro, that's a to me, that's a miracle from god, bro, amen, amen, brother, honestly, yes, think about it. You were in the garage, drunk as hell, with the gun about, ready to do yourself in, and you get a call hey man, I need you to come and talk to these at-risk kids at my school. I, I'm a teacher and you, what kind of sense of purpose did you get when you spoke to those children? You?
Speaker 2:know, honestly, I related it to every morning when I would talk to my platoon. It made me feel worth, you know. It made me feel like I'm giving people direction, giving people purpose, you know, and I felt that man, and then you know what. So when I spoke to those kids, you know it felt like the same thing. You know I'm giving them what I know, what I can help them with, cause I remember when I was a kid I was a troublemaker and I wish somebody would have came talk to us in school, man, and said, hey, you could be whatever you want to be in life, and so that's what I want to do and that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:How much afterwards did you start to seek therapy, or did you ever seek therapy?
Speaker 2:Yes, I did, or ask for help.
Speaker 2:Yes, what did that process look like? It was good. I went to the VA and I said, hey, I need help. But the thing that I didn't like they were like, okay, take this medication. I'm like, no, I don't want to take medication, take the medication. So I took the medication and I was on it for six months.
Speaker 2:I didn't like it. I felt like a zombie. You know what I felt like Like somebody in a glass case inside my mind. It wasn't me, but I was in like an auto mode. I didn't like it. So what I finally did is I went cold turkey. I said I'm not taking this shit, no more. And I started going hiking. And then that hiking helped me out so much. So I started getting in somewhat shape and I told my therapist I was like, hey, I stopped taking medications. They're like you can't do that, you're going to become suicidal. I go well, guess what I didn't? I started hiking and I started doing things that were positive. Guess what I didn't? I started hiking and I started doing things that were positive, and then, of course, I did my speaking. So I found me a nice job. So I got this nice job, started hiking, I started speaking and then just everything just started elevating for me, man.
Speaker 1:How did you know how to hike? Not how did you know how to hike. How did you know how to find these positive activities? Did you search the internet? Did you read books, magazine articles? Ask people.
Speaker 2:You know, that's a good question, because I'm trying to remember that I think it was just looking for positivity. I already knew that physical training was positive, right, so I knew I had to go do that and, mind you, I kind of skipped something when, after I, you know, talked to those kids, I did finally get a divorce, the second divorce yes, this is my second divorce, but I didn't stop the drinking, okay, right, so it was still there and I did get a DUI that time too. Yes, that time too. So that was my second one, and this is in 2018. So, at this time, I was going through a divorce, I was fighting for custody and going through a dui, so I was going through three court cases.
Speaker 1:That was pretty good at that time what the hell was going through your mind, bro, man, I don't know, because I recently separated from my wife, about a year ago. Man, that's not easy. It's not, let alone dealing with all this stuff. And add a DUI to that, fuck man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was crazy man, but again I chose to get the fuck up and go after it.
Speaker 1:Did you face any adversity or challenges in that?
Speaker 2:Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes. What kept you grounded? Just myself, man. My purpose and knowing that, what I wanted to do in life and I'm going to go after it, and that was my goal line, man, I mean, it's still there. I'm always getting better and I'm always pushing it because I want to become better and bigger. So I just keep going, man. Become better than yesterday, and that's what I see it are you?
Speaker 1:passionate about helping other people. Yes, I love doing that. If we can fast forward to the next war that happens in america. Man and some young 23 year old gets out and is lost. Lost and drinking alcohol. What words would you have for that individual?
Speaker 2:Here's my biggest thing. This is what I always say Do not try to reinvent the wheel when the wheel's already there. Look at us. We've been through this shit. Reach out to those that have been through it. Talk to them, and that's where you get your experience. And then you know some things work for me that are not going to work for you, you know, and it's vice versa. So you got to talk to people, especially the ones that have been through it. Surround yourself with positive people, with good people. That'll build you and help build you Right. That's the biggest thing, man.
Speaker 1:So what are some of the positive things you focus on today, in today's day and age?
Speaker 2:Again, be better than yesterday, try to improve myself. I'm not going to say try, do I prove myself every single day, because that's what it's all about. I listen to podcasts, I listen to audio books on, just like right now. What is the book I'm listening to right now? Be Okay With being Disliked, or something like that. Okay Now, what is the book I'm listening to right now? Be Okay With being Disliked, or something like that. It's a psychology book, but it's really good. It talks about trauma and things like that, how to deal with it, and it's just learning about life, learning about things that you can use to become better, and that's what it's all about.
Speaker 2:Like, I've hung out with, like Jocko youo. Hanging out with that dude and just talking to him, and not once when I had a conversation with that dude, it was nothing about him, it was all about me, and not saying that I'm somebody special. What I'm trying to say is that hanging out with people like that, and not one time did he ever talk about himself. It was just hey, how you doing, what are you about? What do you do, how do you do it, things like that and just surrounding your guy. And I hang out with Vincent Vargas as well, and just hanging out with dudes like that man.
Speaker 1:And just learning more and wanting more. Earlier we talked about how, back in the day, they'd give you wall-to-wall counseling different generation the 90s, the early 2000s, somewhat the mid-2000s. Do you believe that America has a problem right now a generational problem with understanding their emotions and communication skills?
Speaker 2:Yes, we need discipline. We don't have discipline. Now, I'm not saying we need to go back to wall-to-wall, but what I am saying is that we need good structure, because without structure there's chaos. So what I'm saying is that the discipline, or teaching our kids discipline, like hey, if you don't commit to this or you don't finish what you're supposed to do, there's going to be consequences to it. There has to be consequences. If there's no consequences, there's no threat. Right, it'll just be a free-for-all. Exactly. So we need consequence.
Speaker 1:I mean, we need discipline fuck, I don't know why, but you just seem like a good person to ask about this. Like what about the roles? The roles between a man and a woman? Do you believe that some of those roles may have gotten distorted?
Speaker 1:yes, they have and you know that I think that's, you know, getting on the politics side of it, because I'm staying away from the politics, but I want you to, from your perspective, talk about, uh, what you have seen you know, a woman's supposed to be a woman, a man's supposed to be a man.
Speaker 2:I mean, think about it. We're a caveman, right? Exactly what did the man go do? He went out and hunted and got them, got the food for the family, right, you know?
Speaker 1:and that's the way it's supposed to be, you know we got away from that we got away from that and do you think social media played a role and mainstream media played a role? And maybe, uh, I'm not gonna say brainwashing, but they influenced them. The influence that's a great word man influence influenced them.
Speaker 2:They influenced that's a great word, man Influenced. Influenced them to think otherwise. Rather than you know what, stick to what we're good at, you know.
Speaker 1:Well, just like you stated earlier, we don't have to reinvent the wheel. Man, yeah, and that's the problem. I mean people get votes off. Chaos man. For some reason, negativity sells.
Speaker 2:That too. Yes, get votes off. Chaos, man. Oh, for some reason, negativity sells. That too, yes, you know they. They can say one word and they get the word, and they make it into something else, and they fear tactic.
Speaker 1:so what would you say to the person that dwells on negativity, always looking for the bullshit on the social media and then wondering why their life is hell in a handbasket and they're out there partying, drinking, snoring lines off of fucking strippers' asses and wondering why they can't get their shit together?
Speaker 2:Well, I remember one time I had a conversation with a veteran. He called me, saying he was hey, man, I'm thinking about suicide and I was like, okay, let's talk about this. Man. I go, what are the things that are making you feel this way? First thing, he said the news. I said, okay, let's stop watching the news. Well, I can't stop doing that. I go do you listen to yourself right now? I go, you're telling me what the problem is, but you don't want a solution to it. I go come on, man.
Speaker 2:Social media is man. It's fake. It's fake. It's where people pretend to be something else and people run with that. And what's happening is you got this guy looking at this other guy and he wants to be like that other guy, and that guy's fake. And then now this guy can't be like this guy. So guess what? He's not going to think he's good enough, correct. And there comes that depression. There comes all these other things that go with it. Start drinking, start doing drugs, because I'm not good. Pornography, pornography. There you go, man, and it's just going to go lower, lower and lower, and it's just all these things that affect your mind. Get out there in nature, start doing that hiking. Get out there, meet with good people, surround yourself with good people, your environment. It's like you can't grow a fruit or a tree that bears fruit in a nasty soil.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. So there it is. It almost seems so easy, right? But that's us looking like from the outside in. Yes because we already been through hell, Because when you're in it it's fucking chaos. But you're right, Something as simple as stop watching the news. I actually had a Vietnam veteran tell me stop watching the news, Hector. Stop watching the news.
Speaker 2:And I pretty much responded to I can't. But eventually I did, bro, and that did the trick. It did. It changes. I did the same thing. I stopped watching it like 10 years ago. Me too, I think you know. When people on my like feed I see negative shit, I'm like get out of here.
Speaker 1:It's just like dude, you know what can I do to change?
Speaker 2:you know what happens there in Washington DC. Right, I can just vote.
Speaker 1:What about projecting?
Speaker 2:Did you ever have a problem with projecting?
Speaker 1:like fearing the future. Give me an example of that.
Speaker 2:Like, oh man, like in your head going like thinking ahead, like I was talking about the unknown, right? Yeah, so this is one of the things that I love talking about in my speeches is that we shouldn't let the unknown put us in fear, right, but what we should do is work on our capabilities to overcome the unknown. There it is, there's your solution.
Speaker 1:So a lot of people remain the stagnant and the same, because they are content in their comfort zone. Yes, what advice do you have to people to get out of their comfort zone? You're going to get left behind. You're going to get left behind. Yes, is there anything wrong with getting left behind?
Speaker 2:I mean, if that makes you happy stay there, right, but a lot of time. It doesn't make you happy. It doesn't make you happy, exactly so that's what I'm saying. You got to be calm, comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:And then they become internet trolls and hate on the next fucking man.
Speaker 2:Yes For getting out of that comfort zone Again get off that social media, get out in the world and start doing things for you to build you. You know, because what's going to happen there? Your wealth is going to be better, you know. And then what you're doing is you're teaching your kids how to be better, and when you teach them that they're going to become better, and then it's just going to keep going on generations and generations.
Speaker 1:So what you do right now for work, is it on par with helping others, or that totally separate?
Speaker 2:So what I do on work, I'm a fleet manager for a trash company, right, I run two locations. I make really good income. I can't say that too loud. I still pay child support. Oh, I hear you, bro, so I do that. And then I have my own businesses. I do, I have a cigar line, and then I also do t-shirts as well. So what's your cigar?
Speaker 1:line called keep up to fight cigars. Keep up the fight cigars.
Speaker 2:They're on a website on the instagram you'll find them under uh pain mason a website so you can get them there. Actually, they're made out of here in San Diego, and my T-shirts, of course, I get them printed, and so the logo. On what this logo is all about, you'll see the warrior right and then behind it is the shield, but it's the Aztec shield, yeah, or the Aztec shield or the Aztec calendar, I'm sorry. So it's 365 days of being a warrior keeping up the fight. So that's what all that has to do with. And so when I'm not at work, I'm working on myself and I'm working in my businesses, spending time with my family.
Speaker 1:Now I'm married for the third time and it's awesome.
Speaker 2:On this right here, just real quick, talking about relationships. I was always looking for somebody to fix me, Right. Yeah, that's that trauma stuff, right? This time it's all about building together. I pick someone who I can build with rather than trying to fix me or me trying to fix her.
Speaker 1:But also people.
Speaker 2:people change, People are different people at different stages of their lives. It depends, because some people could be fake for so long and then you see the true them.
Speaker 1:Oh shit.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying? Yeah, because they're in love, they're going to do anything for love, but then that shit wears out Right. So I'm saying you got to work on you to be the best you In a marriage.
Speaker 1:Should it be 50-50?
Speaker 2:How do you view it. I think it should be 100-100.
Speaker 1:I like that. You said that, man, You're probably like the second person that I've asked the same exact question. I even forgot 100-100.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you always got to be and you know what. Sometimes I can only give 25 because I'm feeling down and just going back real quick. Do I sometimes get depressed? Still, yes, I do, but now I create action to overcome it. Right, I do something to offset that negativity or the depression. Right, but there's some days that I'm not going to be good. Right, but she picks me up, picks me up back up to 100. And she knows, when I'm down she'll pick me up. She'll be like, hey, you need me. Or sometimes, and I'll say, hey, you know what, I just need to be alone for a little bit, let me do my thing. And she knows I'll be back Like all right, you know get that shit out of me.
Speaker 1:Where can people find you if they wanted to reach out to you?
Speaker 2:So I'm on social media, ernie Mariscal Instagram, facebook. I also have a website, keepuptofightapparelcom. You can look at me there, you can see my, you can contact me there, book me there or you can buy some shirts. They're awesome shirts, by the way. They look nice, thank you. I mean, these polos are awesome, man. They're for golfing and stuff like that. But yeah, that's where you can find me, man, and I'm not out to try to get things from people. What I want to do, if I can help you, I'm going to help you absolutely. Or, if I can point you in the right direction, I'm going to put you in the right direct, in the right direction. But know this, man, there's people out there that want to help, but you got to be honest with yourself to get the help do you think ego plays a role in people not asking for help?
Speaker 2:yes, I was one of those. I thought I was a sergeant first class, right, I knew everything, right, I didn't know shit about life.
Speaker 1:What goals, what future goals do you have, or aspirations? Do you see yourself?
Speaker 2:I want to be the best speaker in the world. Yeah, and I'm going to do it. Hell yeah, dude.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah. Well, thanks for coming out on the show, bro.
Speaker 2:It was a pleasure.
Speaker 1:We got to get you back on here for another round. Man, Hell yeah. But I appreciate you, dude. And again, if you guys want to tap in, he put his social media. We'll link it on the bottom. That way you guys can hire him to speak. If you guys like what you saw, make sure you hit that subscribe. Love you.
