Lez Say More Podcast
Welcome to Lez Say More: the podcast where your favorite duo of best friends—together for over 20 years—gets real about the queer community. Join us every Wednesday as we dive into everything from health and wellness, to fashion, relationships, sex - and even the occasional celebrity gossip. With our trademark humor and brutal honesty, we’re here to share stories, laughs, and insights about the (queer) modern life and all the fabulousness it has to offer. Whether you're part of the community or just curious, grab your favorite drink and join the conversation—because we promise to keep it funny, relatable, and absolutely unfiltered!
Lez Say More Podcast
Did Someone Say “Who Wears the Pants?” Let’s Talk Misconceptions!
This episode dives into the misconceptions surrounding lesbian relationships, revealing the truth behind common stereotypes. We share personal experiences and answer listener questions about navigating love, culture, and acceptance.
• Examining the biggest misconceptions about lesbians
• Understanding gender roles within same-sex relationships
• Sharing personal anecdotes about family acceptance
• Discussing communication in romantic relationships
• Overcoming the fear of public speaking in personal contexts
• The shift in cultural perceptions of LGBTQ+ individuals
• Insight into handling sensitive conversations with partners
• The importance of challenging stereotypes together
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All right. So the first question we're going to start off with is what is the biggest misconception about lesbians?
Speaker 2:Oh my God there are so many.
Speaker 1:I don't know if we could just name one. I don't think you can name one, All right what's one that you would have.
Speaker 2:There's a man and a woman in every relationship, I know, isn't that crazy? Hey guys, welcome back to the Less A More podcast. I am Solange, I'm Ava, and today we are going to be answering some of your questions.
Speaker 1:Finally got the questions.
Speaker 2:Finally got some Q&As. Some were inappropriate, others were. We're still going to answer those.
Speaker 1:We're still answering them.
Speaker 2:We appreciate you guys for sending us some questions and participating. I think we got more than we bargained for, but we're definitely going to answer them all and split them between the next three episodes so that we can have some content for you guys while I am gone.
Speaker 1:I mean, I could still do it by myself. No, I'm kidding, yeah, no, but we got a lot which I'm really happy about. Yeah, thank you for that. We expect that sort of outcome every time. Every time, every time.
Speaker 2:Now we should do like a post every week. Yeah, Just to get everybody to send us some questions. I agree.
Speaker 1:Some are overachievers. Yeah, how was your weekend? What did you do?
Speaker 2:Anything exciting. My weekend was good. Actually, it was a busy weekend. Why was it so busy? I had a few things going on. I spent most of my time with my family, though, this weekend. I went to my cousin's for Persian dinner on Fridayiday do you remember what you?
Speaker 2:had. No. Well, he made this uh eggplant thing for me because I'm plant-based, but for the carnivores he made some like that, but they all look like stews to me. Okay yeah, they were like stews. And then rice with the yummy crispy Tadig yeah yeah, and some insane delicious bread that I've never had before.
Speaker 1:I saw the bread. This might be one of my favorite breads.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, that's so good. And then we had tea and some sweets and some baklava, which is like my favorite thing Baklava so good, yeah. So that was Friday, okay. And then Sunday my cousin actually invited us to a restaurant. She got a little private room for her bridal party. Oh, very exciting, yeah, so it was like an announcement to her bridal party that they are part of the bridal party. Oh, very exciting, yeah, so it was like an announcement to her bridal party that they are part of the bridal party.
Speaker 1:I like it. I like that style.
Speaker 2:You are now part of the I Do crew. You are officially part of the I Do crew. Yeah, you are officially part of the I Do crew, which I kind of gathered that I was going to be part of the I do crew when she kept asking me to participate in things. Yeah, but I did not see the bombshell she dropped on me coming. What was the bombshell? That she wants me to officiate?
Speaker 1:her wedding and how do you feel? I think you'll do great I am terrified.
Speaker 2:I am having like a mini panic attack, I think. My reaction there's a video. Somebody my cousin took a video of me while she was reading. She did a beautiful job. She wrote each one of us like a little note and she was going to put it in the little boxes that she gave us, but instead she decided to read them to us. But instead she decided to read them to us and so she read each one of us her note and she was reading mine and, of course, everything was made sense. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm funny, you to officiate my wedding and I was like like I covered my like I don't know my instant reaction. My body just broke out in heat. Oh, I got chills Interesting, you developed a fever, my heart was pounding out of my chest and I immediately went into panic mode because I have a pretty big fear of, like, public speaking.
Speaker 1:But you're doing a podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's different.
Speaker 1:These people aren't in my room, but you're doing a podcast where you talk about being split, wide open and all these other things.
Speaker 2:Listen nobody's splitting anyone wide open. I just I don't know it was different. I think there were different components as to what made me feel a little weird about it. Part of it is because we were talking about this before we started the podcast. Part of it is and I'm like we should talk about that on the podcast. Part of it is one my fear of public speaking. And I mean let's put it this way In college I took a speech class and I dropped out.
Speaker 2:Well, I got an A in my speech class. I dropped out of the class because I had to get up there and I couldn't do it. So then I went back and I did it again. I barely passed because I was just so, so terrified of talking in front of people, because I was just so, so terrified of talking in front of people. Now I think I've gotten better over time, but I still can't even imagine getting up in front of almost 200 people and speaking and guiding a wedding. Oh, you'll be fine, but I'm going to do it because she asked me and I have about a year to prepare. But I also have to learn.
Speaker 2:Farsi and, you know, I know someone that could teach you, so I was like okay, I need to learn how to say a few things, and one of them is her last name.
Speaker 1:Well, I. You have a voice note from my mother.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to put that on repeat, yeah.
Speaker 1:Every day and start practicing Mohawk.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got to get Mohawk.
Speaker 1:You got to get the back of your throat working a little bit yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's, that's my, that's on my to-do list for 2025. Do it on your on the flight, yeah, on the flight to Patagonia.
Speaker 1:Why not Just like have your earbuds in and just like repeat?
Speaker 2:So I figured you can teach me a couple of things and I'll put together something Hopefully I don't lose my ish and after a couple shots of tequila we'll be good, but you'll be fine. But what I was saying to you before we started was the reason why I was a little, uh, shocked. I guess I would say was because she is marrying into a middle eastern family and middle easterns are typically not very gay friendly, not to say that her fam or his family isn't. They have all been very loving and accepting of me. I assume they know I'm gay, but they have all been very accepting of me, especially him. He's lovely, I love him. He's such a kind, sweet guy. But I think my own insecurity kicked in of like oh my God, I'm going to have to get up in front of his entire family, and like you, like oh my god, I'm gonna have to get up in front of his entire family, and like you want a gay person to marry you, like I was like that is very forward thinking and or normal thinking.
Speaker 1:I know, but I know.
Speaker 2:But this is that thing, that like thing, that like I don't know if it's like part of the shame that you have in your mind as you grow through life, that you have carried because you are different, yeah, that you kind of hold this little thing and I'm like, but the beauty of it all was and I got really emotional too because she didn't even give a damn. No, like it didn't even occur to her, that wasn't even a thought in either one of their minds, like she was to her. She was like I want her to officiate. I'm sure he was like whatever you want, babe, you know I love your cousin, yeah, but like she invited me to their, to his families, for thanksgiving that was the first time I met his family and again like saying like I, you know, because you're middle eastern, like it's, it's. It's one of those things where you walk in and you don't know how that welcome's gonna be, especially when you look a certain way right, like if you're femme. I don't think it might.
Speaker 1:If you're femme and you're showing too much skin, there's going to be a problem.
Speaker 2:But I mean, if you're a femme lesbian, I think it'll be a little easier to glide through because you can play off the fact that maybe you are or you're not, or whatever. But when you walk in, looking the way I do, I'm going to say that even though my sister doesn't think so. But the way I do, I'm going to say that even though my sister doesn't think so, but I think I look pretty gay.
Speaker 1:I mean, you still get hit on by men, rarely, I mean when I had long hair, yes, but now not so much. But I think that the Middle Easterns that are out here, that live out here, are more accepting. I mean, yeah, I took my mom a long time, but my mom is also very religious. I don't think his family's necessarily.
Speaker 2:They are.
Speaker 1:They're religious, but but they're not Muslim. No, they're not Muslim and in Islam, like I said in the first, I think first, couple episodes it's against the religion. Couple episodes it's against the religion but my aunt, they were really welcoming and I kind of feel like that's more of what the culture has shifted to, where they're more welcoming.
Speaker 2:I think it's our own stigma that we think it's our own thing, yeah, but I felt so honestly.
Speaker 1:I felt so loved. Yeah, persian culture is a very loving culture.
Speaker 2:I felt so loved and I felt like, oh wow, like that's cool. Now I have to like meet this bar, but that's cool.
Speaker 1:Well, the bar's so high, so you'll get there I'm not worried about it.
Speaker 2:Be with me.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Do they believe in Jesus? Oh, I don't know. They're Baha'i.
Speaker 1:Oh I know, I knew one person that was that religion?
Speaker 2:But the funny thing is is they're I'm going to call it a temple. Now correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure. I don't know if it's a temple.
Speaker 2:I think it's a temple or church. They're the main one. The most famous one, apparently, is in Santiago, Chile.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:And I thought that was so crazy, considering she is Chilean. Yeah, how random right Wow.
Speaker 1:Soulmates.
Speaker 2:I mean he really is. I think he's like totally her soulmate. He is so sweet and kind to her. And you know Good, she's a Capricorn, and she's a capricorn and she's also, and she's also chilean, and she's also gucci so I know yeah she, she.
Speaker 2:You know she's a lot to handle sometimes and he handles her well he handles her just fine, so we did. We did her little video shoot for her save the dates. On sunday too she was being a little dictator during the whole thing, but you know he was a trooper. I mean, would you?
Speaker 1:expect anything less. Absolutely not Right.
Speaker 2:But yeah, so that was my weekend.
Speaker 1:Well, good, that sounds like a really fun weekend.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how was yours? Good? It was chill. I went to a Sweet 16, melanie's friend and Melanie danced and it made me realize that all these family parties that we've gone to over the years and we've all danced and Mel's just kind of sat there. Now I see how heavily influenced she was off of it because, a she knows all the songs, b she gets excited when the songs come on and C she knows the dances. So I was like I was impressed by her and I honestly her with her friends. I love it. I love their bond. I think it's incredible. It's two guys and then two girls, no three guys, two girls and they all look after one another and they genuinely care for each other. I love her friendship right now so.
Speaker 1:I hope it continues and they stay friends forever. I really hope this is a group that she keeps in touch with forever. I'm sure she will.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that was my weekend. It was good. I love that. Yeah, okay, so we are going to go into our Q&As. Ava's going to pull out her phone so that she can pull up the actual question, because we just have little prompts here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, All right. So the first question we're going to start off with is what is the biggest misconception about lesbians?
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:There are so many, I don't know if we could just name one.
Speaker 2:I don't think you can name one, all right. What's one that you would? Say that there's a man and a woman in every relationship, I know, isn't that crazy. There is masculine and feminine energy in every relationship Male or female, male and male, female and female, because we are made up of both.
Speaker 1:It's crazy that, yeah, because they'll always be like who's the man?
Speaker 2:Yeah, who's the husband, who's the wife? Who wears the pants? If I wanted a husband, I'd be straight. Yeah, I'm like, do you mean the? To?
Speaker 1:phrase that question better would you mean like who's the more dominant person? Or I think that's what they mean. They just they, they don't know. A they're trying to be funny and B maybe they don't know how to put the sentence together.
Speaker 2:Because, let me tell you, though I may look more masculine, I have been in relationships where I am definitely not the more masculine you like to be dominated. No, no, definitely not. There's a difference. All right, like tie me up, whip and chain me and beat me? No, that's what I meant.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not into that, you don't you like beat me.
Speaker 2:No, that's what I meant. No, I'm not into that. You don't you like to give the beating If you tie me up and you give me love and you're soft and gentle.
Speaker 1:Like a feather. Yeah, and seduce me that way. Yes 100%.
Speaker 2:I'm into that, but I'm not into the whips and chains and aggressive. I don't mind being the aggressor, I don't want to be the aggressee.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, I don't know if that's a word.
Speaker 2:I don't know if that's a word, but we make up our words here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we do. I guess another misconception is that Every lesbian likes to go downtown. That is one I'm not speaking like. I'm not saying. I'm not talking about anything personal.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying like I know that people Well, that's like a misconception that all women give blowjobs, fallatio.
Speaker 1:Fallatio.
Speaker 2:They don't Not all I mean. I can't see them probably having a very long relationship, but same as a lesbian. I don't know. You gotta be pretty good at other things if you're not doing that. Yes, I agree, that's like one of the main components of being a lesbian is knowing how to give good oral fellatio.
Speaker 1:Yeah, another one, I think, is that they always think the more masculine one is like a handyman.
Speaker 2:That is true.
Speaker 1:That is true, although maybe there's a statistic out there that they are but I think that's a misconception, because I'm definitely not, you're not because, I'm definitely not, or that I've had to become, but I'm not naturally but also that we all like to go camping and stay in tents and we don't Hell. No, we don't all like to stay in tents.
Speaker 2:That we're all granolas. What the heck is a granola? Like you know, drives a Subaru, wears Birkenstocks I wear Birkenstocks. Lives in Oregon. I don't live in Oregon, but I wear Birkenstocks.
Speaker 1:I wear Birkenstocks. Lives in Oregon. I don't live in Oregon, but I wear.
Speaker 2:Birkenstocks, but like that kind of lesbian which they're out there but we're not all like that I'm not driving a Subaru, no, but I did you did.
Speaker 1:I was with someone.
Speaker 2:No well, it wasn't my Subaru, but it was an orange one. I was very against the Subaru. I was like, no, I am not driving a Subaru, I am a lesbian. I am all against it. That goes against everything that I mean. Some people own it. Some people are like, yeah, I'm a lesbian and I'm gonna drive a Subaru and they have their hiking shoes on when they get out of the Subaru.
Speaker 1:definitely feel like a lesbian wearing my sweatpants around to the grocery store Because I have it.
Speaker 2:I need to break them in. I haven't been. They're new, so wear them around the house. I've been wearing them everywhere. Oh my goodness, although they're really warm, so like my feet get really hot and I'm just like oh no, this is torture.
Speaker 1:But yeah.
Speaker 2:I think. Another one is that all lesbians play sports. Well, they do, don't they? No, not all really. Yes, or the sport was either basketball and softball right or soccer, or all the people who played on the teams were gay, but I don't know if that's a lesbian misconception, all lesbians don't play sports. I don't think all lesbians play sports. I mean, I did, you did, but I know lesbians that didn't play sports.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to think of my. I'm going through the Rolodex of lesbians. I know.
Speaker 2:But you are like sports driven.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2:So I think everybody in your Rolodex has played a sport, because you probably met them playing a sport, which reminds me we need to play pickleball now.
Speaker 1:We do. We haven't played. I have socks. Bree, I didn't meet, Does she yes, Bree? Volleyball.
Speaker 2:I bet you.
Speaker 1:Nope, oh Rowing. Although she's really short, I don't think she plays volleyball she was a rower.
Speaker 2:What? Yes, that sounds like a lesbian sport.
Speaker 1:How does that sound like a lesbian sport? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Like you really need to have arm, and so how is that a lesbian sport Are?
Speaker 1:her arms like jacked. She's in good shape, but I don't know if her arms are jacked, like when she walks. I don't ever look at her arms to see if her triceps are sticking out. And then Priscilla played basketball.
Speaker 2:Okay, what if they play lacrosse For sure? Then I'm scared. Or rugby Rugby.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure I'm going to assume the majority of those teams are LGBTQ. Because they have to push the girl up. They have to push the girl up from the butt.
Speaker 2:You know water polos like that.
Speaker 1:You have to like, try to water, that is intense Alright so the sports one, I think, is a true misconception, but I could be wrong. We'll take a poll. Stereotype yes, stereotype.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't know if I can think of any others, but I'm sure they'll come.
Speaker 1:Oh, another misconception is that all lesbians wear boxer briefs.
Speaker 2:That is not true. That is true. As we know, Ava wears thongs. That is true.
Speaker 1:As we found out in our TikTok, although I did wear, you've known for that for a long time I did.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you, when I found out I was so shocked I was like what you wear, what I was like, well, I guess Makes sense when you have an ass. I don't. So I used to wear boxer briefs all the time. I pretty much only wore boxer briefs in the men's kind because they didn't make women's. Back then, really Up until I was like in my late no, yeah, late 20s, early 30s, I switched over to like regular underwear.
Speaker 1:Oh, interesting. Yeah, I learn something new every day.
Speaker 2:But I sleep in boxer briefs. I just sleep in pajamas. No, I don't even own a pair of pajamas. I had to go to a pajama Galentine's Day thing, yeah and I'm like, I don't have pajamas, I sleep in boxer briefs and like the thinnest t-shirt I could find. So why didn't you just go like that? Hell, nah, why, that is way too seductive for this little lesbian. No way, that's what Miss O likes to call my lingerie Interesting, like super thin v-neck night shirt and boxer briefs. Interesting Is my lesbian lingerie, which reminds I don't know, is there a such thing as a lesbian lingerie for mass girls? What you just said, yeah, but like maybe with some lace. I bet there is. That would be interesting, I bet there. Like for girls that are maybe a little bit more on the stemmier side. You know, like, yeah, probably more fluid, like I still wouldn't wear it, though.
Speaker 2:No, she just wears a thong floss up your ass, that's. That's not. That's not femme at all. You don't even feel it. Let me tell you, I tried one time and I felt it.
Speaker 1:I felt it. It takes a couple times, you'll get used to it, you'll be fine that's what she said.
Speaker 2:All right, all right.
Speaker 1:What's the next question? What do you think about having a relationship with someone in prison? I think you'd be best to answer this, because you have a jailbird ex-girlfriend.
Speaker 2:I think this question needs more explaining. Is this person somebody that you met while they were in prison? What if they're a pen pal? That's what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you know, there's a show called don't judge me on my shows, but there's a show called Love After Lockup. Why am I not surprised? And then there's another one that's called Life After Lockup. So the love that goes outside of jail, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Oh my.
Speaker 1:God, yeah, okay, I used to stream that on my TV.
Speaker 2:Here's my thoughts on dating somebody who's in prison. Don't do it. Why? What? If? I mean, unless you're like somebody who's super jealous and you know has insecurities in that way, then by all means go ahead and make a relationship happen while they're in prison, because you know where they are. They're not going anywhere. Well, they might have several boyfriends or girlfriends. They probably do, but you're not going to go in there and try to do anything about it.
Speaker 1:Well, after watching that reality show and I know I'm being judged or laughed at for watching that, but I really don't care I would say don't do it because none of it ends well.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, but I also think if it's somebody that you, like in my case, were dating and then they ended up in jail, that's a different story, because that relationship is something that you establish outside of jail and then they went to jail for whatever reason at that point you decide.
Speaker 1:I think if they went to jail, god was doing you a favor by removing them from your life. You're free now. Know that that was a red flag, red flag. Go the other way. Don't put money on their books. No, do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Do not go visit them. No, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Do not go visit them. No, absolutely not. So that's my take on the jail thing.
Speaker 2:But I mean, I don't know, I think that there's people, maybe there's people that that's their kink.
Speaker 1:Jail Jailbirds.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like dating people who are in jail. Okay, I mean, we don't judge, I don't judge, I'm just saying it's not for me anymore.
Speaker 1:I want to follow up to that question. Let me know if you're dating someone that's already in jail, or did you date them out here and then they went into?
Speaker 2:jail.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we need like under bullet points. Yeah, we need that, all right. Next question is how do you tell your partner that they put on weight? Oh my God, that's a hard one, I know. You know how Fernanda told me when I put on weight oh my.
Speaker 2:God, you know how. She told me I'm scared. How, how about you put on?
Speaker 1:weight. No, you would think she'd be that direct what You're eating, you don't need to eat those fries. And I'm thinking, oh, she's just telling me like I don't, you know, you know I didn't get it. And then, like they're not good for you, I didn't understand what she was saying, that I, you know. And then when I gained the weight and then I was like losing it and I looked at pictures and I would tell her, like how come you never told me I was this fat? She's like I did. I'm like, no, you didn't. She's like, yeah, I told you you didn't need the fries.
Speaker 2:I think it's actually a really hard thing to talk about and address with unless you have a very like healthy relationship with yourself and your body and your, I guess, like confidence, and you yourself can be open and just be like accepting of the criticism.
Speaker 2:I don't know, but I don't know. I think it's hard because a lot of times, when it's your partner, you love them unconditionally. You don't know, but I don't know. I think it's hard because a lot of times, when it's your partner, you love them unconditionally. It doesn't matter, right, like if they put on some weight, you're like 5, 10 pounds, 15 pounds, whatever You're like okay. But I think once it starts to get to a point where their health is at risk and they're having health problems, like I don't know. I mean, do you say something? Do you not say something? Do you bring it up? How do you bring it up? I mean, I personally think that, like, if you're with someone and they're and they are unhealthy, whether they're overweight or not, I think that at that point you try to help them, right? Like, let's say, they have an illness or whatever.
Speaker 2:Outside of weight gain. What would you say? I don't know, I don't really. I would never tell somebody like hey, you're looking a little thick there, but would you say stuff like hey, you want to go to the gym with me today?
Speaker 2:I was having a conversation recently about somebody whom I love very much and he has gained a lot of weight and he's like older. So I was thinking like how do we? I was thinking like, how do we tell him in a kind way, like, hey, maybe like avoid these things, Because he's also very health conscious, which is the ironic part, right. So I thought it was interesting that like we couldn't think of a way of addressing it with him in a loving way, because he is so sensitive but also he's so self-conscious about, like, his health that he makes like choices, thinking that he's doing something good for himself, but he's really not.
Speaker 1:He's hurting himself well, I'm really sensitive and my mom just would tell me flat out oh well, that's because that's a mother she's like, and your stomach Like, what are we doing? You know, my dad recently said to me oh, now you look normal. And I said yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, but see, okay, I think parents are different, because my mom would say things to me too Like she would be like okay, maybe you need to stop eating that, not so much ice cream.
Speaker 1:Okay, but then why is it that we can't say it to the people we love?
Speaker 2:I think it's because you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings and you also don't want to make anybody else think that you don't love them or you see them differently.
Speaker 1:But don't you love them if you want them to be healthy?
Speaker 2:Yes, and I think that there are ways to help people in that way, Like saying like hey, like you know, my sister will tell her husband. Like you know, honey, like come, come to the gym with me, or come do this, or come do that. He doesn't, but you make the offer. Another way is to help somebody. I think when that person reaches a point where they want to make a change, they will ask you for help.
Speaker 1:I think if you cook or know your way around in the kitchen, I think if you cook or know your way around in the kitchen, you can provide healthier meals. Yeah, and you could feed your partner that without so they don't really even know that you're doing it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like for me. I would probably not have any junk food in my house. Right, I would probably not buy anything that is unhealthy, and my partner will end up eating what I cook, right. And if they don't want to eat what I cook or what is not healthy of course, delicious food but just better for you then they will probably have to go get it somewhere else, and they probably will go get it somewhere else. But at that point I'm not taking that burden on my shoulders about like I'm killing you.
Speaker 1:No, yeah. So I think it's a tough topic, but I think we as a society should start normalizing it so that we do look out for one another, because it is an expression of love for me to say like, hey, hey, maybe you shouldn't cook your food in vegetable oil and try this one, instead of you getting offended. I've been doing it all my life and I'm fine, because that's a lot of what people say Well, I've been doing it for so long, but it's like we're learning so many new things about how our foods are processed and things that if we share the knowledge with one another, it's a form of love. It's I love you and I care about you.
Speaker 2:Like I was telling somebody who I love very much recently I was giving her some pointers about some stuff because she was not feeling well and she said to me you should be a nutritionist. And I said no, I'm only here to help those that I love and those that, like, I care about, like my family and my friends and my knit circle. That's about it. I'm not spreading that outside of that area because I'm not an expert by any means. I don't want to go to school to become a nutritionist Like that's not the case but I do watch and I listen and I gather a lot of information and I try to implement it in my own life. And I'm also I don't want to be a hypocrite because I haven't been doing so great lately, so I can't be sitting here telling somebody else, like you need to lose weight, girl, and then I'm over here looking fluffy.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're exaggerating Also, you just but that's a point. Okay, yeah, it's a point.
Speaker 2:So if you're both, fluffy or you're both unhealthy yeah, you don't want that. No, no, no. I'm saying, if you're both unhealthy or overweight or whatever, whether it's five pounds, 10 pounds, 40 pounds, 50 pounds, whatever, whatever the weight is you want to lose, I honestly think having, like an accountability partner whether it's you and your partner, who hold each other accountable and say we're going to do this together, we're going to, you know, do a meal plan together. We're going to work out together, we're going to remove alcohol from you know, our diet, we're going to remove sugar from our diet, like I. I think that that is a beautiful thing when you have somebody that holds you accountable in that way and does it with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with that. And then you know that they're holding you accountable and you don't take it as control Right and also, every body is different 100% so like what I thought was working for me before wasn't until I actually got a nutritionist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and she shout out to her is like holistic so, and she just explained everything to me, mm-hmm. So, and she just explained everything to me. And she got me to the point where, like, yes, I read the labels and I will still down a bottle of tequila on a Tuesday. Yeah, she will, but now it's the tequila that doesn't have additives in it and it's only half the bottle. And it's only half the bottle now, but no, but she, you know, and she, her plan was just specific to my body. Yeah, because how I may lose weight?
Speaker 2:you probably don't. And as we get closer to a certain time in a woman's life, oh here we go. But it's true, you start to your body changes and there are things that are not going to work. That you used to do in your 30s, I know, that are not going to work in your 40s.
Speaker 2:I'm learning this, that are not going to work in your 40s? Like starving yourself. You used to be able to starve yourself and you would drop weight like that. Right Now you starve yourself and it's the opposite you just skyrocket in weight and you're like what the hell? I haven't eaten a damn thing.
Speaker 2:And it's like, yeah, because now you're entering this phase in your life where your body does not react to the same way, you know. Or if you're somebody like me who has PCOS, like I'm very sensitive to insulin and foods that are, like you know, I have insulin resistance, so certain foods I can't like carbohydrates and sugars and those kinds of things which I've been feasting on lately. So, yeah, I think that having that conversation with your partner is a difficult one to have and I think that unless you know that you guys have that kind of relationship, maybe I guess it might be easy for you to say something to them. Or if you're both in the same boat, you know. But I also think what about, like, because I've been in a relationship where my partner wanted to get healthy and my partner wanted to work out and do all of this and I didn't.
Speaker 2:And then you know, what motivated me Was watching them do it, and then they started getting all skinny and I was like I want to be thin and fit too. I don't want to be unhealthy. And then I started to think about it. I don't want to be thin and fit too, like I don't want to be unhealthy, I don't want to be. And then I started to think about it, like I don't want to be that Not for her by any means, but for me Like I was, like I don't want to be unhealthy, I don't want.
Speaker 2:So then I shifted my way of thinking and I started to make those changes. Also, watching like a group of people do it together and then you're the odd man out sometimes also makes you want to participate. You know, and it doesn't have to be an all or nothing kind of thing, it could be one thing you do. It could be like I'm going to go for a walk one day out of the week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think what motivates me is that I am married to someone younger and I don't need her to look at someone else. I need to make sure her eyeballs are here, so I need to make sure that I look a certain way. But the thing is, she likes them. Thick, she likes thick women. Thick, she likes thick women.
Speaker 2:And she told me, I'm not allowed to get too skinny, but my goal is to get not Not like crackhead skinny.
Speaker 1:No, if that was the case, I would have taken Ozempic already and been crackhead skinny. But no, I want her to be like oh, my girl looks good, so she's the motivation.
Speaker 2:I think. For me, I never think about now, as I've gotten older. I don't think about being skinny, I think about being healthy and I think about being fit in the sense of like I've put on muscle and if I have muscle I'm healthy, because muscle is the fountain of youth.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's your. It's your body's spandex.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's like what keeps you young, and I definitely want to stay young.
Speaker 1:Yeah me too.
Speaker 2:So that's what I keep trying to tell myself, but I do think that telling your partner is really difficult, and I also think that you should never shame your partner.
Speaker 2:You should never, tell your partner like hey, so you're not. You know you're not. Like I was trying to fit into pants this weekend and I was not fitting into my same pants and I said this to someone and somebody kept telling me I'm perfect and I have nothing to worry about, and I'm like no, my pants are saying something different, though. You see me this way and the thing is, when you are a taller person or a broader person, it takes a while for people to see the weight on you. The scale in your body tells you, but other people don't see it as quickly as you feel it or see it.
Speaker 1:So my pants definitely saw it before I saw it Funny, but I do think that the answer, one of the answers to the question, is that also encourage them to. If you're going to the gym, maybe encourage them to come with you, or encourage a family walk or something like that, and slowly get them into that and once they start to see a few pounds shed and that they could fit into clothes differently, they'll start doing it on their own.
Speaker 2:That's the thing I always say. It's the first couple of steps that are the hardest, like that first week, but once you start to get that euphoric feeling, man, it feels so good. I agree with you there, all right.
Speaker 1:Next, question Would you rather be poor and happy or rich and unhappy?
Speaker 2:Why can't I be rich and happy?
Speaker 1:I would be rich and unhappy because my money would buy me happiness eventually.
Speaker 2:I know it's fucked up, but I do think money does buy you happiness.
Speaker 1:It does. It does. It makes things easier. It makes things easier. You're depressed over your debt. Guess what Debt's gone. You're depressed because your car doesn't start and you need to take it to the shop. Guess what? New car, new car, new car.
Speaker 2:You're upset that you have a your girlfriend left.
Speaker 1:You Guess what.
Speaker 2:New girlfriend Mail order bride Mail order.
Speaker 1:Bride, you're upset because you now have a wrinkle in the middle of your forehead. Botox, botox, so there boom.
Speaker 2:I mean, there are things that money can't buy. I do get that, like what, but like you know they can't. If you're sad about grief or something like that, oh well, yes, I mean you know like, but I do think that having money is much easier than not having money. I agree with you.
Speaker 2:I do think that money does make things happier in in ways obviously there are studies that show people who are in poverty, who are very happy because they are very grateful for the things that they do have, and we do live in a overindulgent society. So, as Americans, everything's bigger and better and grander, and we never satisfy that hole that we try to pack in. So there are limits. I don't think that being too rich or too this or too, that is good, but too poor. I do think things are easier when you have money.
Speaker 1:And when you do have money, stay humble, because one thing I could tell you from experience is it could be taken away from you so quickly, oh yeah, and it humbles you to no other Life lessons, baby Life lessons and then, when you get it again, just make sure you're grateful for it all the time, like a new appreciation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a whole new appreciation, and that's coming from personal experience. So, yeah, but that's the answer to the question. So how do you feel about leaving me for three weeks to go to Patagonia? I love how you say that.
Speaker 2:Patagonia.
Speaker 1:I don't want to say it wrong, because now I'm all stressed out from the last episode.
Speaker 2:It's like the clothing brand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know the jackets, I've seen them, well they make more than jackets.
Speaker 2:Well, I've learned because I've had to look for all this clothes. Didn't you go to REI? It's a nightmare. Rei did not have diddly squat, it didn't. I had to go all the way to Tustin. Yeah, didn't you.
Speaker 2:To their flagship store. Did they have something? This gear for like these extraneous weather and conditions and places is hella expensive. I mean, what did you think? Oh my God, one shirt is $100. One pair of pants is like $200. Oh, do you want to be rich? I'm like I'm going to use the one outfit every day for 20 days. You're going to stink. I don't care. You're going to stink. What do you mean? You?
Speaker 1:don't care, it's merino wool and you can use it for multiple days, because it doesn't put up with the definition of merino wool for everyone, so that they can see what what that is?
Speaker 2:it's basically like antimicrobial and it's breathable and it's like high tech.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's it's actually like a natural fiber. It's made from wool, uh, but it's like high tech. Yeah, it's actually like a natural fiber. It's made from wool, but it's used a lot in places with really cold weather because it's breathable. And if you do activities like we're going to be doing hiking there's a 13 hour hike that my sister and I are debating doing, but I am really like anti maybe doing it. So then we found out, because the first thing is like you hike up a I don't even know how many miles of this mountain and then there's like a restaurant and like it was almost like a rest stop, right. So there's a restaurant, a bathroom, all that. You can rest, relax and then continue the rest of the hike, which is all uphill, and then you finally get to this part where it's like nothing but rocks. You climb up the rocks and then you go over the rocks and you go to the base of the. It's called Torres del Paine, which is the really famous three mountain tops, and then there's like a lagoon at the bottom.
Speaker 1:Isn't that the?
Speaker 2:logo. Probably, I don't know. There's different ones because there's different. Patagonia is the whole southern region of Chile and Argentina, so you get to that point, but it's a long hike and I have not even I mean I'm out of breath going up my stairs. I have not done any physical activity in I don't know how long, at least like working out, and I walk up my stairs.
Speaker 1:I take Luna out. I take Luna out for walks. I thought you meant something else.
Speaker 2:I'm sure you did. So I am really nervous, but we found out that they have horses at this like restaurant, like horse taxis, and they can take you with a gaucho the rest of the way. So you're going to make the horse do the work, so I was like, well, worst case, if we get to that point, I told my sister, Monica, I was like you and I, sis, we can take the horse and have the horse take us the rest of the way if we can't make it. And what about Tati?
Speaker 1:Tati's freaking, so in shape She'll just like Tati's going to leave us in the dust. No man left behind Tati. All that girl does is work out.
Speaker 2:Well, that's good so even though she says that right now she hasn't been, as she's still way more fit.
Speaker 1:So that's so you're going to make the horse do all the work we're going to try to make the horse do all the work.
Speaker 2:But, we have different excursions and different things, but I'm a little nervous because there is nothing Like. You don't have service, you have very little. I mean there's like nothing as far as I mean, it's just all nature.
Speaker 1:Well, I think you'll be peaceful for you. You'll come back refreshed, and I'm not an outdoorsy lesbian.
Speaker 2:Well, you are now. I mean yeah, we're doing day treks, because I was like I'm not camping.
Speaker 1:You'll probably come back and buy a Subaru after this trip.
Speaker 2:Absolutely not, not an orange one, but you'll probably get like a yellow one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no.
Speaker 2:But I am going to try to film as much as I can. Yes, uh, so we can. I'm gonna I don't know, maybe vlog it or something. That'll be fun. Yeah, I want to see. Yeah, but I'll come back and we'll talk about hopefully. I'll come back and we'll talk about it. I hope so, because then what am I gonna going to do? What are you going to do? Are you going to have to fill this seat with someone else?
Speaker 1:No, I'm not. I'm by myself. I'll be here by myself.
Speaker 2:Going back and forth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pretend to be me, something like that. Yeah Well, I don't know what I'll do with my hair, though what would be?
Speaker 2:your best impression of me. Well, I need, I'm preparing for my trip my little gaucho trip.
Speaker 1:Either that or you're preparing for Spain with the bulls. No, that was the red one. I know.
Speaker 2:All right, all right. So we're going to wrap this episode up here and we will finish the rest of these questions in the next couple of episodes that we have coming out for you guys. I will be out of town, but we are going to prerecord these for you guys so you can still have your weekly episode to enjoy.
Speaker 1:Yes, and we hope you guys like them and we want to wish her a safe trip and hopefully she comes back in one piece.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she can and not two. What are you going to do with two of me? Oh shit.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't know, that don't know, that's a lot all right guys.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for listening and watching. We appreciate it. Uh, catch you guys later later, later, booze thank you so much for listening to this episode of the let's say more podcast. If you can, please show your love and support by writing a review on apple podcasts, rating us on Spotify and, of course, spreading the word and sharing us with your community, we would greatly appreciate it. The let's Say More podcast is produced by yours truly, Solange Aurelio and Ava Mozaffari, and edited by myself as well, Solange Aurelio.
