Stop making excuses or at least understand WHY you make them

This episode is short and simple. Excuses.

We all make them, but do you understand them? Why do you make them? What are they telling you.

Well... a few things. So here you go HOPE THIS HELPS!

Apply to work one on one with me HERE

Visit my website today for my blog and MORE!

www.ruhidrysdale.com

You can find also me on Instagram and Substack

Transcript

Season 2 ep. 5

[00:00:00] Excuses. Okay. Welcome to this episode. That's all you get. Welcome, welcome, welcome. We're done. Moving on. Excuses, excuses, excuses. Excuses. Which we all have. We all make. We all do, right? Doesn't even matter. 'cause even if it's for a second or two, and then you can talk yourself through them and figure out a way.

Fine, great. But the point is you still thought of one, right? Like they pop up and I just. I want to address, like if you're finding an excuse, if you can get an excuse to get out of something or something not work, then you can make excuses for something to work, right? Like, ugh, my damn neck sitting in this chair.

Okay. Um. I was thinking about that today. I was like, if you have every excuse under the sun, like well, this is gonna probably happen and this is gonna happen, then yes it will because you've decided. So like you [00:01:00] have made that executive decision, you didn't even give it a chance. You didn't decide this could work and let's see what happens and let's tweak it here and there.

In as many things, as many ways as you can, make an excuse, you can also make a solution or figure it out. Right? Um. So let's say, okay, I can't meet, you know, let's just say you wanna do a weekly girls lunch and you've been craving time with the girls and you're like, I cannot wait. But then when it's actually time to go, you're like, no.

Oh, I don't know if that day will work, or, I don't know if I can actually get time to do that. Well, where are we gonna have lunch and what is it? Okay, well then you don't want to, then don't do it. 'cause there's something where the excuses you're making. Even if it's something you thought you wanted and it pops up and then you continue with the excuses, that's you telling yourself, okay, you don't want it then, then don't do it.

But if something's lighting you up and you're like, yes, I'm gonna make it work, what day? I mean, can we do it this day? [00:02:00] I'm kind of available here, but I can move things around. This can work out great. We can, you know, rotate places, see what we love, right? Like that's excitement. That's creating solutions.

That's okay. I'm on board. I'm ready to do this. But excuses tend to tell us one of two things. One, we're expanding in our nervous systems, like ah. And our ego is like ee and we're going through growth and expansion and it doesn't want us to do that, and we're freaking out, right? Like, you can't do this.

You're capable of this. Well, what if it doesn't work? Like that's your ego, right? But if the excuses are like. You're perfectly capable. You're literally just not doing it, or you're finding ways to not do it. That's, that's an alignment issue. That's no longer, it's not even your ego at that point. That's you telling yourself like, do we really wanna do this?

But in more words, um, so I just, that's it, man. Just go out there and like, notice what things are you making excuses for and what things are you like, no, this is gonna work. We can [00:03:00] make this work. Right, because that'll tell you a lot. And if it's just hard or if it's just like, oh, I don't know. I mean, can I, and or let's say you started something or you're going for something and then you start thinking.

This isn't gonna work, or I don't know how I go on from here, or there's so much to do. Where do I even start? That's fine. The overwhelm without excuses, just overwhelm and being lost for words. Maybe a little confused. Those things are gonna happen as you do something new, as you grow, as you implement things that are changing your life.

'cause people want their life changed and they want different, right. But are they ready to get uncomfortable with choosing different, right? Like you have to choose different, you have to do things differently to get different, right? Your mind has to think differently. You have to do different tasks, [00:04:00] different chores.

You have to approach something differently. And that's how it changes. That's how change is brought about. So how comfortable are you with that? And then of course when you're just making excuses to make excuses 'cause you're not very excited about something, well then you just drop it. Just find a way to either be done with it or trudge through if it's actually something you are supposed to be doing, like for work or something.

But if it's something that you're just making up or you're allowed to, like, you're approaching it and you are making all these excuses for it, then it's not, that's not for you. Just, just step back, step away from that. Clearly you're not in alignment. Um, but going back to the ego thing of growth and development and just being uncomfortable, like you've got to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Just like it's okay to be afraid and it's okay to be scared. It's okay to be nervous. It's okay to be sad, to be happy to, again, we're going back to being okay with feeling our feelings, but you do it [00:05:00] knowing you're comfortable feeling those things, right? Ooh, being sad is uncomfortable. Okay, well, you're gonna be sad.

Let's get through this, right? Let's feel it. Let's figure it out. Or, oh my God, I'm so like, this is making me so nervous. I'm so afraid. Okay. Get comfortable with being sitting with the discomfort of fear and nerve and nerves and let's get it done right? Like I think we spend so much of our lives trying to avoid certain emotions that we forgot to sit with them, feel them, and let them move along.

Instead we're like, no, go wait over there. Go stand in line. Go stand in line. Go stand in line. And now you have like a mile long line of fear that you haven't felt throughout the years that you didn't let come up have its 10 minutes and move on. What? So when you have this mile long line of your fear that you've avoided and decided to not feel or experience.

There, it's still there waiting, but now it's in the way. [00:06:00] Now it's blocking the happiness and the sadness and everything else from kinda like, excuse me. Pardon me. Trying to move to the front of the line because you didn't feel it, you didn't go through it, you didn't experience it. So how did the, how did this podcast start out as excuses and then turn into you needing to feel your emotions?

I don't know, just stop suppressing them. Um. But it all comes around, right? Like that self-awareness, like what am I not facing? What am I not feeling? What does this subject bring up for me? Where do I feel it in my body? How does it make me feel? These are just little things you could start doing for everything.

Hey, you wanna go out Saturday night? A group of us are gonna go drinking and go to the club, or we're gonna, and it's, if it's the first feeling you think is like, ugh. Or like, mm. And it's like a pit in your stomach, then maybe that's a no. And you're aware of that, right? Like, no thanks though. You guys have fun.

Maybe we could get brunch, right? Because that feels a little bit more like, I'm not drinking, I'm not staying up late partying, but I do wanna catch up with you guys, so [00:07:00] maybe a brunch or lunch or dinner or something. Okay. Or if they ask you that and maybe you just get like super excited and you're just like, actually, and it energizes you.

Cool. There you go. And you're allowed to change your mind. I mean, Saturday could come around and you're like, wow, uh, this week kicked my butt and now I can't go out because if I don't put care into myself, it, I'm gonna suffer all weekend and then it won't prepare me for the next week and to rejuvenate myself.

And so you can change your mind and be like, no, uh, I have a boundary like this is, I gotta listen to my body or else I'm gonna end up more miserable. So. In the end, pay attention to what you're making excuses for. Pay attention to whether they're excuses or, um, there's something deeper there, right? We're unpacking that.

Allow yourself to feel all the things in the moment. It literally can take you five minutes in the moment to feel something when it happens. 15 tops, 15 minutes stops, right? And then we move, we [00:08:00] feel it, we move through it. I mean, you could have things that pop up that you don't even know why you feel that way, you just do.

That's what I've taught the kids. I'm like, they, they get upset, they get sad, whatever. And I'm like, do you know why you're upset? Sad. No. And I'd say, that's okay. It's normal. Sometimes we don't know why we're angry or why we're sad, or why we just don't feel great and we have the blues. You know what I mean?

Um, because if it's not a regular occurrence and it's just kind of like a day or maybe stuff's just caught up with you or who knows? Not everything needs a name or a label. We're just allowed to feel things and feel them. Anyway, that's it. I just need to come on here and tell you all that it was on my mind.

I love you so much. Pay attention to how you feel, what your body's telling you what's happening. Live with intention. The excuses are just, yeah, a great way to like let things kind of mudslide down, but also to build things back up. You can go the other route, right? Like so just intentionally focus and take things head [00:09:00] on just.

Just be so intentional with it. If excuses are what you want, fine, then get yourself into the excuses to get yourself out of it. Like, but at least be intentional like, wow, I am making excuses. I am doing these things. Anyway, you get the gist of it and I'll talk to you soon, guys. Okay, love you. Bye.