Episode 11: Postpartum and what we can learn from it

In this episode of On The Journey with SJK, I reflect on the profound lessons that motherhood and the postpartum phase have taught me. Instead of focusing on the commonly discussed postpartum depression, I introduce a new perspective I call postpartum acceptance, a mindset centered on honoring your feelings, embracing the imperfect days, and giving yourself grace through one of life's biggest transitions.

I walk through five key lessons that motherhood has reinforced for me, and that apply to all of us, whether we are new parents or not. From learning to accept what you're feeling without rushing to fix it, to understanding that every day cannot be perfect, to practicing kindness and compassion toward others, to trusting your instincts even when the world tells you to seek external validation. And perhaps most importantly, I reflect on the power of slowing down and enjoying the moment. Life is not a race. It's a beautiful journey. So fall in love with where you are right now.

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Key Highlights

💜 Postpartum Acceptance Over Postpartum Depression: I introduce the concept of postpartum acceptance, a reframe that encourages new mothers to honor their feelings rather than rush through them. Whether you feel ecstatic or overwhelmed, the key is to accept it and give yourself grace.

🌟 Every Day Cannot Be Perfect: From obsessing over my baby's nap schedule to realizing that some days just won't go as planned, I learned that progress matters more than perfection. This lesson applies far beyond motherhood.

💛 Be Kind and Compassionate: I reflect on how important it is to be a cheerleader for the people around you, especially new mothers. We never know what battles someone is fighting, and compassion can make all the difference.

🧭 Trust Your Instincts: Motherhood taught me how powerful our intuition really is. Whether it's knowing something is wrong with your baby or making big life decisions, your gut is your best guide. Stop seeking external validation and start trusting yourself.

✨ Slow Down and Enjoy the Moment: We often pin our happiness to future milestones, but life is about savoring the small moments. I share how motherhood taught me to stop being destination focused and fall in love with the journey itself.

⏳ Your Timeline Is Uniquely Yours: Comparisons steal our joy. Everyone has a different story and a different timeline. I encourage listeners to stop comparing and embrace their own path.

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Resources & Next Steps

📖 Explore topics on mindfulness, self-acceptance, and personal growth on On The Journey with SJK

🎧 Subscribe to On The Journey with SJK on Apple Podcasts

Connect with SJK:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onthejourneywithsjk/

📧 Email: info@onthejourneywithsjk.com

Listen to Songs by SJK

🎵 "Universe Within" on Apple Music

🎵 "Universe Within" on Spotify

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Apple Music

🎵 "Misaligning my Destiny" on Spotify

📋 Exercise 4 Spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1WCWg2aLRCGwC_XyPyhVg69TLuywuL7eZzL_RLv96MXA/edit?usp=sharing

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YouTube Chapter Timestamps

00:00 Welc

Transcript

Hello and welcome back to "On the Journey with SJK"

I'm back after a long break with more energy, more perspective, and more insights, and this time I really have more insights. I've become a mom to the most delightful little baby boy. There's a little human who's stolen my heart, who's always on my mind, who's now started crawling, and he's made my life so, so wholesome.

I'm also writing this episode while he's fast asleep with my baby monitor on full volume. Between his naps and starting solids, between diaper changes, massage time, Hyde Park strolls, play time and piano time, you get like 17 minutes free, but it's amazing. I love being his mom. So today, naturally, I want to talk about motherhood, postpartum, and what we can all

learn from it, whether we're new mothers or not. The most important thing I learned through this entire phase of postpartum was accepting and honoring how I was feeling. So a lot is said about postpartum, and the term normally used with postpartum is postpartum depression.

But I want to coin a new term for this entire phase, and I'd like to call it postpartum acceptance. I think the key to handling this phase is just accepting how different this journey can be for each one of us. So firstly, the pregnancy journey.

For some people, it's really easy. For some women, it's not. They develop health issues. It could be gestational diabetes. Some people gain a lot of weight.

And I know that for some women, this is really, really hard. All I can say is be kind to yourself. You've just popped out a human and accept the journey for what it is. Another thing is that pregnancy also teaches you to accept what you're feeling. It's an amazing time, but it's also an emotional one.

You've produced a new person. You're 100% responsible for this little creature, to feed them, to care for them, to make the best decisions for them, their education, nutrition, mental stimulation. There is so much that comes along with the motherhood package. Your hormones have changed.

One second you're feeling ecstatic about becoming a mother, and then suddenly you're emotional and overwhelmed. I would say whether you're feeling happy, whether you're feeling stuck, whether you're feeling guilty, annoyed at your weight gain, whatever you're feeling, just accept it. If you want to talk about it, find a friend, find a therapist, talk it out, cry it out,

laugh it out, but don't be in a rush to get over it. I think sometimes what happens is that we want to be super moms all the time. And sometimes women get upset because they're not feeling as great as they want to be feeling. But I think sometimes strength comes from feeling those feelings that you're uncomfortable with and being comfortable with them.

So go through what you're feeling and honor what you're feeling at that point in time. So you know, for me, it was an emotional journey, but I was also over the moon. I had waited for years to be a mom and I wanted to be with my baby every second to cuddle him and to hold him and, you know, to see to his every need. And even in this phase, a lot of people, a lot of friends said to me that, you know,

take a break, get out of the house, you need a change. But I never felt that and I was unapologetic about it. I was just like, this is what I want. I want to be with my baby. So why should I take a break?

Why do I need to step out? What I'm trying to say is honor what you're feeling, feel what you're feeling and accept it. Acceptance is something that I learned from motherhood, but I think it's a great life lesson as well. I think to accept life, to accept people and to accept situations for what they are is crucial.

I don't think we can change everybody. We cannot control the situation every time. But I think acceptance is something that each one of us has to learn. You know, when I became a mom, I became obsessed with my baby's sleep. I wanted every nap to be that perfect two hour nap.

Every wake window had to be followed to the tee. And if my baby took a good nap, I felt happy. If he woke up midway, I drove myself nuts. I was like, why did he not sleep? Did I do something wrong?

Did he sleep hungry? Was the room not dark enough? I drove myself crazy. But then I realized that every day cannot be perfect. There are some days that are going to be great.

There are some days that won't be so great. And it's totally okay, but nothing is going to be achieved obsessing over it. And I think that this is something that can be applied to our daily lives as well. I think to some extent, we all do this. We psych ourselves out if something is not the way we imagined it.

If something is not perfect in our lives. But sometimes you can do everything, but the outcome may not be something that you'd imagined. And I think understanding that every day cannot be perfect is a really big part of life. The next big thing I learned from postpartum is kindness. I think whether you're around a new mom or anyone in general, being kind and compassionate

is so, so important. So let's start with a new mom. I think it's so important to be kind to someone who's just become a mother. There are so many issues that a new mother could be struggling with. It could be the baby's birth weight, feeding issues, latching issues.

So unless you're really close to the mother, I would say refrain from asking unnecessary questions that could cause her any kind of stress. Things like if the baby is bottle feeding or feeding directly, or what the weight of the baby is. Don't comment on the baby's weight and height and looks.

Just be a support to the new mother. Don't be someone who comes and gives unnecessary stress to a new mother. I think thoughtfulness can make such a difference. So for example, if you see that a new mother is struggling with weight gain post pregnancy, don't go on and on about how some other mother got back into shape in just two months.

Or if you see a mother is having issues feeding her baby, don't go on and on about how important breastfeeding is. Just have some compassion. I think a new mother is already going through so many changes and a new mother's energy gets transferred to her baby.

So just be kind to her. All that a new mom needs is a happy and stress free environment and to be surrounded by positive non-judgmental people, basically cheerleaders. And this applies to life as well. We all need cheerleaders.

We all need people who are kind and who are compassionate. So be that person. Be kind to the people around you. You know, today, we have no idea what battles a person is fighting. I think social media, especially Instagram, tells you nothing about a person's life.

I think social media, as fantastic as it is, does portray just the highlights of a person's life. People keep their struggles private. So please be kind. The world really needs more kind people. Let's make compassion a big part of who we are.

Something else that I learned from motherhood, trusting my instincts. You know, when I was pregnant, a lot of my friends and my cousins said to me, Sneha, trust your instincts as a mother. Mother's instincts are bang on. And in general, I'm a pretty intuitive person and I normally go with my gut.

But during motherhood, I realized how strong our intuition can really be and how we should really trust it more often. Whenever I got a feeling about my baby, I was always right. Whenever my gut told me there was something wrong, there normally was something wrong. Whether he was squirming in bed because his diaper had leaked or whether he had a tummy

ache, I just knew it. Every mom has that instinct. And when you start trusting it, you get to know so much about your baby. When it comes to our kids, we trust our instincts naturally. But sometimes when it comes to ourselves, we second guess and we doubt.

We look for external validation and for others to confirm what we're saying. But one thing I've learned after becoming a mom is to have faith in myself and to trust my gut. And I've realized that for different issues in life, my gut is guiding me, my intuition is guiding me, so I don't need to keep second guessing myself.

I think building our instincts even in our daily lives is something really important. When you get a feeling about something, take action on it and see if your gut was right or not. The more you trust yourselves and the more you act on it, the more the universe keeps guiding you.

So start building this habit on a daily basis. Trust yourself and take action on it. And lastly, motherhood has taught me to just enjoy the moment. Motherhood is about slowing down and being in the moment. Actually, motherhood and slowing down is a bit of an oxymoron because you're literally

back to back with baby activities. But I think motherhood is just about enjoying every moment, enjoying the smallest things which are actually so big. For me, I love the kisses. I love the cuddles.

I loved seeing him roll for the first time, giving him his first bite of solids, the first time he pulled himself up in the cot by himself. All these memories have been so precious. And I think motherhood is about savoring each and every moment. Right now in my life, there's nowhere that I want to be.

But I think even if you're not a mom, this is something that each one of us can learn. To slow down a little bit and just savor where you are right now. To really be in this moment. I think to some extent, all of us have become destination focused, right? We all pin our happiness to that point in the future.

For example, I'll be happy when I get that promotion, or when I get married, or when I have that X amount in my bank account, or when I become that version of successful which is acceptable to me. But I think life is really about enjoying those small moments. It's about the journey.

It really is about the journey. So enjoy each moment to the fullest and make this kind of living your lifestyle. Enjoy every moment. And also I think comparisons is really what takes away our joy. Each one of us has a different timeline.

Slow down, enjoy the moment and don't compare your timeline to someone else's. Even at my age, I know people who are struggling to find their life partners. At my age, I know people who have grown up children. Everyone has a completely different journey. Everyone has a completely different story and a completely different timeline.

So just slow down and fall in love with your own timeline, with your own precious moments and enjoy every second. So yes, that's been motherhood for me. And just to sum it up, accept what you're feeling, go through it, allow yourself to feel it.

That empowers you. Secondly, be okay with things not being a hundred percent perfect. Every day cannot be perfect. The fact that you're making progress is good enough. Thirdly, be compassionate.

We have no idea what battle someone is fighting. So let's be kind. Just be compassionate. Fourthly, trust your instincts, have faith in yourself. Your gut is your best guide.

Trust it and don't go around looking for external validation. And most importantly, motherhood has taught me to slow down and just enjoy the moment. Life is not a race. It's a beautiful journey. So fall in love with where you are right now.

I'll be back soon. So stay tuned in. In the meantime, stay happy, stay blessed and stay stress-free. I'll be back soon. Signing off, SJK.