Episode 10: Clitoris 101: Your Guide to Pleasure and Anatomy

When it comes to female pleasure, misinformation and lack of education have left many in the dark about how the vulva and clitoris actually work. Despite its vital role in pleasure, the clitoris has historically been overlooked—even in medical literature.

Did you know the clitoris is much bigger than most people think? In this episode of Not Safe for Brunch, we dive deep into the anatomy of the clitoris, bust myths, and explore how understanding this powerhouse of pleasure can transform intimacy.

Join Amber, Coralie, and Vicki as they share their expertise, personal insights, and a whole lot of laughter while discussing everything you should have learned in sex ed. Grab your mimosa, your favorite vibe, and let’s get real about the clitoris!

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Transcript

Coralie: [00:00:00] Okay, let's get real for a second. How much do we really know about our own bodies? And I mean down there specifically.

Vicki: Well, we know enough to get by, right? But honestly, when it comes to the intricate details of the female anatomy and pleasure, it's kind of a black box for a lot of us.

Coralie: Absolutely. And that's why we're here, to shed some light on these often ignored areas. We're going to dive deep into the fascinating world of the vulva, specifically focusing on the clitoris today.

We're going to talk about the science behind it, and maybe even bust some myths along the way.

Amber: So grab your favorite vibrator, a glass of mimosa, and get ready to learn something new about yourself. this episode, you won't want to miss.

Thank you for watching.

Coralie: Welcome to Not Safe for Brunch. In this podcast, we're here to bring sex insight and real world education to the table unapologetically. Think [00:01:00] about it as having those important unfiltered brunch conversations with your closest friends about sex relationships and everything in between. With over 55 years of experience combined in the intimacy industry, helping individuals and couples focus on breaking down barriers.

Reducing shame and empowering people to embrace their desires and relationships with confidence. Hi, I'm Cora Lee. I live in the Vancouver area. I'm a married mom of two, half empty nesting, one in, one out. And my secret power is I love a good rabbit hole. I love digging deep and finding the truth or the root cause of a situation.

Amber: And I'm Amber. I live in Ontario. I'm married. I'm a mom and a G ma. And an unapologetic quality of mine is I weed through the fluff and I get to the point. 

Vicki: I love it. I am Vicky. I'm in Manitoba. I'm divorced and I'm reentering the relationship space. I am a mom to two grown ups and [00:02:00] my magic is making meaningful connections and relationshipping, which of course creates trust.

Coralie: Why female pleasure still such a taboo topic? And how can we reclaim our bodies and embrace our sexuality with confidence and knowledge? I think one way we can do it is by reading this book.

It is called The Vagina Bible by Dr. Jen Gunter. She is a Canadian OBGYN. She has written this book. She's written The Menopause Manifesto. I think everyone who has a vagina or would like to be in a vagina really needs to read this book. It is so informative and this is where we're going to pull a lot of our conversation from today because one thing we're really passionate about is make sure we're giving you accurate information from doctors because guess what?

We're not doctors. Okay.

Vicki: We're pulling from personal experience around here.

Coralie: That's right. That's right.

Vicki: After all these years in the business too, all of us have. So many conversations and testimonials that we have also pulled from our clients throughout the [00:03:00] years that have been very informative for us. So, we do bring our own experience. We bring everything that we've learned from all of the training that we've taken and all of the self learning tools that we have used, including books like that. and then of course we have all of these women's stories to draw from because we have literally heard everything.

Amber: Yeah, and I think though, like you asked the question, why is it so taboo still? And honestly, I'm 41. I had to think about that. Is it February yet? No, okay. I'm still 41. All right. But I mean, I grew up with so many people that, you know, from a Catholic kind of school and all the things, like you just don't touch yourself. And I think that people are still growing up like that. And I think our society is just not allowing us to really open up. And we're not taught to be okay with our own bodies when we're young either. I think that's one of the reasons that it's so taboo still.

Vicki: I agree. And,  [00:04:00] varying studies and not enough studies have been done necessarily on women. They use men often as a subject. and that means that our bodies kind of get left to the wayside. And,  to this day, I talk to men all the time who do not understand all of the parts, what they do, how to engage them, what their purpose is.

So this is  a great podcast for everyone.

Coralie: Totally. also too, something really interesting in this book, the vagina Bible is, she was saying she was in medical school in the mid to late eighties and there was three full pages dedicated to the penis. One of them was in color, I believe, if I'm remembering correctly. And I don't remember specifically what she said about the vagina, I think, one page, but the clitoris, which is our main sexual organ, was a little, small, like, circle in the corner of the page.

So, we've been done a disservice because society has been treating [00:05:00] women like we're just the same as men. She even said in this book that it was calleda miniature penis. The clitoris was called a miniature penis.

Amber: What? Okay, admittedly, I have not read the book. Like, I

feel like we need a book club.

Coralie: We need a book club. We need a book club. Everyone needs to read this book. You have vagina ladies.

Amber: All right, I,

I'm, 

Coralie: the bible.

Amber: it's on my list.

Vicki: Yeah, me too. Me too.

Amber: That's shocking to me. Yeah. I mean, shocking, but not shocking at the same time. You know, kind of

been like, Yeah.

Coralie: because we see it.

Vicki: Yeah, but that's why we keep talking. Because that is, we've taken this on as our job to change the view so that women's bodies are paramount, that they are focused on, and that they are pleasured. 

Coralie: Yes. All right. So today we're going to focus specifically on the clitoris But first we want to just give you a full idea of the vulva structure And if you're watching us on youtube, vicki and amber both have their big vulvas [00:06:00] with us so that you can go along Um

Amber: gotta come to the YouTube channel.

Vicki: If you want the visual.

Coralie: Amber has a very big vulva. Vicky's as big as well, but Amber's is like, extra large.

Amber: very large.

Vicki: Yeah.

Amber: client made this for me, and I absolutely love it, so I'm glad I could bring it out today.

Coralie: It's

Vicki: I love it too. Yeah, I'm having some vulva envy.

Coralie: Me too. I don't even have one. I need one. I feel left out of the club.

Vicki: All right, Coralie, why don't you walk us through? And if you're

on YouTube, you're gonna get to see,

um, and Coralie will use her words and you're gonna be very entertained.

Coralie: I'll use my words. You guys point out the specific parts on your vulvas. Okay? 

Okay, so the entire vulva structure is First, the mons, which is the part where your pubic hair is, or maybe used to be. So, 

Vicki: true story right about here. 

Coralie: the really sensitive, like, fatty spot. Um, there's a lot of nerve endings right in there, but it's that sensitive, fatty pack of tissue, like, right [00:07:00] above, right above, like, where they're pointing.

Amber: Mine's getting heavy.

Coralie: Um, then we have the labia majora, which is the outer lips. Right. It's the outer lips. They're kind of the doors.

Amber: They could be longer, shorter,

your inner, sorry, keep going.

Coralie: Yeah. No, they, but you have a great point. No vulva. There's no, they're like snowflakes. They're not all the same. 

Amber: 

 yeah,

we're all different. 

Coralie: Then we have the labia minora. These sound like constellations. Which is the inner lips. Like the smaller. lips on the inside.

Amber: Mine aren't so small, see

Vicki: Amber's are

Coralie: That's okay. They're all different. Sometimes your menorah can be outside of your majora, right? You never know. Um, the glands clitoris, which is the visible portion of the clitoris that you can actually see.

Amber: Vicky's is like very poking out and mine's kind of naked.

Coralie: See, they're all different.

Vicki: sometimes. Yeah. Coral's gonna tell us about the hood shortly,

Coralie: Yeah,

the [00:08:00] clitoral hood. It's what covers the clitoral hood is what covers the glans clitoris and some people's hood can fully cover it. Some might not cover it at all. Usually 

Vicki: hood is loud and proud. Loud and proud.

Coralie: Maybe yours is aroused because it retracts when you become aroused, right?

Vicki: That 

Coralie: Um,

 the vestibule is the part of where,  you're just about to enter the vagina, like that area, like the front door, you 

Vicki: The vestibule, 

Coralie: yeah, which makes me think of that episode of Friends where Chandler was trapped in the ATM machine

Vicki: vestibule.

Coralie: with Joe Goodacre, so that's your vestibule, that's like right the entrance,  you have the opening of the urethra, which is going to be right underneath, kind of between the vestibule and the clitoris, 

Amber: Mine, mine was not added. I gotta add mine.

Vicki: Here's mine. Mine, mine is, mine definitely is

Coralie: Yeah,

um, we have the perineum, which [00:09:00] is the spot on the backside of the vestibule between there and the anus.

Amber: Sorry.

Coralie: If you have not watched on YouTube, this is the episode to start.

Vicki: YouTube, but maybe this one.

Coralie: Yeah, and so, that's basically the basic structure of the vulva, but today we are going to focus on the clitoris and not just the glands, not just that part that we can see. So let's dive into it, you guys. 

Coralie: so a lot of people, you know, we ask,  I'm sure all three of us have asked over the years, hundreds and hundreds of women, how big do you think the clitoris is and what do most women say?

Vicki: Just the head.

Amber: tiny, like tiny, like it's like, just this, just the tip.

Coralie: Yeah, they'll be like a pea. It's the size of a pea. No, no, no, no, no. It's actually quite large, quite large, and we are going to dive into that today. So if you aren't [00:10:00] watching on YouTube, what you'll, what you want to know is that the clitoris is actually sort of like a wishbone. It's wishbone shaped. And it's mostly internal.

And then it has like the top of it, the wishbone, the top of the Y of the wishbone is going to be kind of bent over. And that bent over spot is going to be what you see on the outside.  and then it has these legs that run down either side of the vulva. So now let's go in and dissect the clitoris. And let's talk about the different parts of it.

Because  this is the stuff we needed to know, right?

Amber: Yes,

Not

sex ed, just don't get pregnant, don't have sex.

Vicki: Right. I was gonna say that when we were in sex ed All we learned was how not to get sick and how not to get pregnant There was never any focus on the actual pleasure and the fact that the clitoris has no other purpose but pleasure So Let's go.

Let's get into it 

Amber: I'm excited.

Coralie: Okay, so the body of the clitoris is that inverted part of the [00:11:00] Y that folds in. So like this part here, right? So this is two to four centimeters in length, just this little spot. And  that part is connected to the pubic bone with a ligament. So that's why sometimes too,  because the way the clitoris is connected to the body, sometimes when women have a surgery on their vulva, maybe on their urethra, it can damage the clitoris.

So it's really important to make sure you have a doctor that is aware of all this stuff because a lot of them still don'tmake it a priority. Okay.

Vicki: it your priority if you do not have a doctor who is making it theirs

Coralie: Right. Absolutely. So the glands clitoris is the tip, the part we can see, that's the very end of it. The root. is the part that connects the clitoral body. So kind of this backside, the top of the Y, it's the part that connects it to [00:12:00] These legs here, which are called the crura.. It's kind of where all the erectile parts converge. So, it is really important for pleasure.

Um, and this is generally going to be right beneath the skin above your urethra. Okay, the crura, I always call them the legs,

and when they're hard, I call them lady boners.

Amber: too.

Coralie: So these are called the crura. These are the legs, like the Y part of the wishbone, and if you're talking about just one, it's called the crus.  so these are like the arms, and these are five to nine centimeters in length.  your cura, they're gonna sit under your labia majora. right? So under those bigger lips. And then there's these sort of bulbs that,  these are called the clitoral or the vestibular bulbs, because these are going to be right at the vestibule, right?

Um, [00:13:00] they're the inside arms of the inverted Y of the wishbone. And these themselves are three to centimeter, three to seven centimeters in length. And they're connected to outside the urethra and the vagina. So, these bulbs are like basically right as you enter your vagina, and when you are really aroused, and if you have a partner with a penis, and they are just going in with just the tip, that's why it feels really good.

Because those are right there, it's your clitoris.

Vicki: That's right. And I think that that's underestimated, right? I think that a lot of times,  if we have a partner with a penis, they're thinking, you know, it's all of this movement and action and how fast and how hard and duh, duh, duh. And it really sometimes can, sometimes that's nice, but sometimes it literally can just be that, that opening movement, which is,

you know, it could be the deal maker.

Yeah. Fair enough.

Coralie: Totally.

Like, sometimes too, I've had conversations with clients and, you know, personal [00:14:00] experience too, where you are having sex. And, I mean, this is generally for people who have been in long term relationships and sometimes you're having sex.  andit's more to connect, but you're not really concerned about your own orgasm.

 you want the connection, you want the intimacy, but you're like my body just isn't gonna line up today. Let's just connect and have this intimate moment. But then the movement happens and you're like, Oh, wait a minute. I do want an orgasm now.

Cause  your bulbs got fat and your lady boners went like,

Vicki: Exactly right. And he said, okay, all right, maybe today.

Yeah, maybe now. It's so true.

So as we mentioned, everybody is different. Some clitorises and nerve endings are closer to the surface,  than others.  some are far apart, some are closer together.  there's just no rhyme or reason. So that's why exploration of your body with a small wand,  can really help you to understand your body and [00:15:00] what's going on and what makes you feel good and what makes you feel like you're having better and stronger orgasms and really. exploring what kind of pleasure and what kind of touch brings you pleasure. So you got to get aroused, we got to get those lady boners going, right?

Coralie: And these little wands or little vibe are great for going up and down.

Amber: Yeah. If you're not watching on YouTube, like Coralie's got a nice little wand. She's

Coralie: Yeah.

Amber: her clitoris. You definitely want to come on.

Vicki: You're right though. Andone of the things too, is that if we're just focusing on that head,  Right at the very, very head, the part that's at the top that everybody knows is there. And if that's the only area that we're touching, we are actually missing out on a ton of nerve endings. It could really be. Pleasurable and increase  the erogenous zones and the pleasure of that entire experience. and interestingly enough, if you're with a partner who's well versed in that, or at least willing to explore with you, what you're going to find is that you're together going to figure [00:16:00] out what the sweet spot is, right?

 and that's just going to sort of increase,  the connection physically, but as well as emotionally and mentally, when we trust a partner to know our body, when everything starts to fall into place and feel right. It puts us in a different place altogether.  Pleasure and the brain and the body are also a really huge component, some women can orgasm from touches,  in different areas,  nipple stimulation, anal stimulation.  again, it's one of those things that you have to explore and be willing and have a partner who's willing to help you kind of figure it out. You also can figure it out all by yourself. You don't need to be partnered in order to benefit.

Amber: And I think the best thing to do is to figure it out by yourself so that when you're with a partner, you could be like, listen, I really like it when I'm touched like this or when I'm rubbed like that. And. A lot of women like don't want to go, Duh duh duh duh duh, or duh duh duh duh duh. They don't want that on the clitoris.

Vicki: Right.

No, but [00:17:00] also how a woman touches her body and what works for her can very possibly not work when you do it. So  as a partner. if you're watching your partner masturbate in a certain way, that doesn't mean that that's the kind of touch he's going to need from you. She's in tune. She knows what's going on, right?

She knows what her business is all about. You might have to come in a little softer, take a little instruction

 almost always when these areas are stimulated,  there is also a clitoral response, which just means that your body will physically respond and it will start to,  engorge with blood. And that's what creates that heightened sensitivity.  The area of the brain that responds to nipple stimulation overlaps with the area of the brain that responds to clitoral stimulation, that means that, you know, when we're needing to get that 12 to 14 minutes of foreplay, we're not talking about just clitoral stimulation or vulva stimulation. We're talking about Engage the brain, engage the body everywhere, [00:18:00] right? So again, learning what you like, sharing that with a partner if you have one, and making sure that you two work congruently to kind of, you know, get jazzed up.

 as a human race, we have been exploring the touch of what our body enjoys from the time we were in utero. In utero, of course we're experiencing sensory and touch, very, very early on. my example is twins, when twins are in utero together, oftentimes they are seen on ultrasound holding hands. So what makes us feel good and touch, et cetera, that's really, that's something that is absolutely ingrained in our bodies.

I think it's just really important to remember that, there's no shame, no shame.

Coralie: absolutely.

Amber: I think we need to dive into what you just said though,

that 15 minutes of foreplay. Because some people might have been listening to that going, What? Who has that? What? Who has time for that?

Vicki: Yeah.

Amber: But it's really crucial. It's really important that you have at least that like 12 to 15 minutes foreplay.

Vicki: Yeah, for sure. And some women's bodies are going to respond [00:19:00] faster and that's okay. But yeah, figure out what your sweet spot is, but often just jumping into it is not actually going to get you there.

Coralie: I think also too,  we can be very different in the amount of time we need for foreplay depending on where we're at in our cycle. if we're at ovulation time, you might need two to five minutes.

But if you're about to start your period or just finished it, you might be like, I need 15 to 17 minutes.

I'm going to set a, I'm going to set a timer.

Amber: We've got the egg timer in the bedroom.

Vicki: Totally. And FYI, if you're post menopausal, you might want to start yesterday.

Amber: Lubricant is your friend.

Vicki: Totally. So of course we know that increased blood flow to the vagina and the vulva will cause the clitoris to engorge with the blood,  which then heightens and engages the sensitivity.  and with the right kind of touch. 

Coralie: And can I also add too that it doesn't even have to be touched.  if you read a spicy novel, that will do the same [00:20:00] thing, right? Your brain is your biggest sex organ. So if you're reading something or watching something and it's turning you on and all of a sudden you're like, I want to do it.

That can be foreplay too.

Amber: Right?

And it doesn't have to be, I mean for a lot of women, and I know like some men could be listening to this too, but a lot of women, it's something that, That you're watching, Bridgerton got so many women going, like, I was talking to friends and they were like, yeah,  yeah, I was watching it and then all of a sudden I'm rolling over and my husband's like, you know what I mean?

 For men, sometimes you may want to sit with her and watch those shows,

Vicki: At least be available. 

Amber: right? 

Vicki: Honey, let me, let me make you a tea so you can watch your show.

Amber: Yeah, exactly.

Coralie: I mean, that's why Fifty, that's why Fifty Shades of Grey was so big too,

Vicki: absolutely. 

Coralie: that.

Vicki: It did, and it gives people the opportunity to use that big sex organ, the brain, to fantasize, to, you know, maybe [00:21:00] even try, some of the things that they were doing in that book, to dip their toe in a little bit, see how their relationship manages just a little bit of that. that's fun. It's fun.

Coralie: Absolutely. All right. Well, let's talk about the orgasm, ladies,

Amber: Woo woo!

Let's, 

do

Coralie: why we're hanging out with the clitoris, right? It's the easiest spot for women to have an orgasm is by that clitoral stimulation. 

Amber: we have some tips for you on how to orgasm better, or maybe even just for the first time. Because if you're sitting there thinking like, I'm not sure if I've actually orgasmed before. You likely have not and don't be ashamed of that. You're not alone in our years of doing, the sexual education stuff.

Like we have heard that so many times. Am I right?

Vicki: Yeah, you're right.

Amber: Yeah.

Coralie: It was literally, for me, the, I was,  sharing the sex, the sexual education for about six months, and a woman started a conversation with me who was [00:22:00] 20, 25 years older than I was at the time, and she confessed she'd never had an orgasm. And honestly, until then, I thought I was just having fun selling sex toys.

Like, I was giving them sex ed, but it was all about just, we're having fun, we're selling sex toys. That was when I realized, holy shit, we have the opportunity to really help people. There's so many, and I've, I've heard it continually.

Vicki: Absolutely. 

Amber: Over and over. Absolutely. And I, we're doing so much more than just selling sex toys 

Coralie: yeah.

Vicki: think if we had just been selling sex toys, we would have quit that years ago. 

Amber: hundred percent.

Vicki: yeah,

it's the, it's literally the fact that we are recognizing how imperative this conversation is and that we're the catalyst for it. So, I love that we're doing this because we're just opening up that audience.

Coralie: It really puts a lump in my throat, you guys,

Vicki: Yeah.

Amber: Understand that the clitoris is really sensitive. It can be really sensitive for some. Andbeing a salesperson of sex toys, [00:23:00] like I have had lots of conversations where women are like, I don't want direct clitoral stimulation at all. It's too sensitive to me. It almost hurts.

So 

Coralie: we're talking about the glands, right? The tip. Mm 

Amber: The tip, the glance, yeah, sorry. Direct,  external. So understand the clitoris glance may be really sensitive.  so some people, find that direct touch during foreplay or with a vibrator can actually be too sensitive for them.  tongue, soft kind of fabric over top could be a little better.

Right? 

Vicki: Absolutely. I have a client who only masturbates through her panties. Because it's just way too sensitive. And if that's what works for you, once again, we're talking about exploring and figuring out what, what makes you feel good. Do that.

Amber: Absolutely.

Coralie: Yeah. I think too,  if your tip, if the glands is really sensitive, you can also take a toy and put it just to the right, just to the left, just above, just below. Find where you enjoy it and it feels good without that [00:24:00] direct stimulation. And what you might find over time is that sort of touch therapy.

You know, like you might be able to get it closer and closer and closer and then point right on top.

And if not, that's okay too. But it can only get better, right? It can only get better the more we experiment.

Vicki: Yeah, I think too.

Amber: different voice. Sorry, go ahead,

Vicki: no, I was just gonna say, I think too, that the more aroused we are, the more we can integrate the vibration, the touch, whatever,  that tends  to be sort of a tipping point. The more aroused our body becomes, some women become more sensitive, but for some women, the more aroused they become, the more they're able to manage more stimulation.

Amber: Yeah, and I was gonna say like you could explore with different styles of toys. It doesn't necessarily have to be vibration It could be just something solid like a dildo or something that you're rubbing on it Or it could be the airflow technology that a lot of toys now are coming out with so Try and maybe explore a little bit if it is really sensitive to [00:25:00] touch that may be an option as well.

Vicki: Yeah. And if you're not sure, go back and watch still do's and still don'ts.

Amber: Yeah

Coralie: I also think too, when you do,  that touch therapy for a lot of women, they'll say, Well, I've had, I can have an orgasm, but I can't have a multiple orgasm because I'm too sensitive afterwards. And that's where you can really work with the touch therapy, right? Instead of, putting it exactly where it was, where it's really sensitive, put it a little, like I said, to the right, to the left, to the left, to the left.

Like, find where it can get close, where it feels good,  Because when it's too sensitive, it's painful sometimes, right? 

Amber: Yeah 

Coralie: want it to feel good and not cause pain. And That's how you can work towards that.

Vicki: Agreed. 

Amber: So we mentioned the clitoris glands and how it can be a little bit, you know, sensitive for some. Maybe it's like the perfect sensitive for you. You know your body best, but there are other areas of the clitoris that you can actually stimulate. [00:26:00] Coralie mentioned it when she was explaining different parts of the clitoris where, you know, right at the vaginal opening, on each clitoris there.

If you're using maybe a wand. fingers, whatever. But you can maybe find different areas of the clitoris that may not be as sensitive if you are sensitive on the clitoris glands.

Vicki: Absolutely. And I always want women,  especially to remember,  that taint is a great place, which is the perineum when we're talking about it. But if you weren't sure what the perineum was and our, and our vulvas didn't show you enough,  it really is that space between,  the vaginal opening. And the backside and there's tons of nerve endings that are pulling through from the legs and the bulbs of the clitoris.

So it's really important to pay attention to all of those areas and those erogenous zones, because they're really going to help to, uh, increase the blood flow and get your brain and your body in the same place.

Coralie: I think also too that's why,  some of the [00:27:00] vibrators that are like more the rabbit style that have the internal external, if they have that larger surface, and it's hugging internally and externally

that's stimulating all that area as well. And that's why a lot of women are like, yes, because it's bringing them so many good orgasms 

Amber: Well, it's touching so much of the clitoris.

right.

Yeah.

Coralie: Yeah. 

Vicki: We didn't even really talk about the G spot when we're talking about the clitoris, but again, the first two thirds of the vagina is typically where most of our nerve endings are, right? So I know we're talking about the external, um, but it is important to remember that right in here is where a lot of good stuff is happening, right?

So that's just more exploration. Maybe that's a whole episode.

Coralie: That is a whole other episode

Amber: yeah. 

Coralie: because we were going to do this one on all of it. And I was like, there's no way.

There's no way. So we're going to do an episode just about the 

Vicki: Yeah. Circle back, because we're going to

talk 

Coralie: going to go back.

Vicki: spot.

Coralie: But you can also get toys, too, if you like [00:28:00] that more pinpointed stimulation. There's toys that have a small little tip,  like a wand with a small tip.  but it's really in that exploration that you're going to find the different types of toys that work for you. But with the wands, like this one here is the Hitachi Micro.

So cute. We've all heard of the Hitachi Magic Wand, right? I mean, it

comes in many.

Vicki: I love 

Amber: if you've been around a little while, they used to sell it at Sears.

Coralie: Yeah. They're like, it's a back massager. 

Vicki: You can call it what it wants, but where it lands is where it lands.

Coralie: they make back massagers. They make TVs, they make tractors. They know power. Okay. They know power, but you know, these little toys like this,  are great for that exploration and finding the spots that you really enjoy. And we encourage you to have conversations with your close friends, with your close friends who also have vaginas and vulvas.

Because you're gonna find, too, that we're not all the same. And you might get a new idea, and they're like, Well, I did this, and it was great. And you'll be like, [00:29:00] I never even thought about that. And then, tell us.

Vicki: And then tell us,

Coralie: What? Tell us.

Vicki: right, sharing in your friend group is crazy important because again, some women might be more exploratory and some women may be a little unsure. And you might encourage one another to,try something new and different, figure out what you love.  and,  just think that  the friendships alone,  can bring so much awareness and permission, which we know I love.

Coralie: Yeah. And also, too, just to add on,  If you don't have a toy, or you don't have it in your budget to get a toy, You don't need a toy. You've got ten fingers.  we would just recommend you have a little bit of lubricant,  but you have 10 fingers that you can explore with. And then when you get bored of those, you'll be like, okay, now I'm ready.

I don't want the DIY version anymore. Or if you have a partner,

Vicki: What is it? We could a partner? Or we could a shower head?

Um, Yeah,

Let's not, uh, let's not leave out that shower head.

Coralie: [00:30:00] yeah. But if you have a partner, or if you're really bendy, you can experiment with oral.

Amber: If you're really bendy. Oh, not impossible. Alright.

Coralie: Yeah, I mean, I couldn't do that, but, I mean, there's some yogis out there that, by the positions they can get in, so, you never 

Vicki: I I'm gonna have to go to yoga. Oh, boy.

Coralie: So, let me finish. So as we close out this episode, we do want to encourage you to have open and honest conversations with yourself, with your partner, if you have a partner. with your closest, most trusted friends about sex, sexuality. Ask them if they know how big the clitoris is. Bring that up at your next brunch.

Maybe you're gonna rock their world with this information. That is a great way to open the conversation. Do [00:31:00] you guys know how big a clitoris is? And no matter what, you're gonna start talking about it, okay? Cause if they know, they're gonna be like, oh my god, I have someone to talk about this with.

And if they don't know, they're gonna be like, tell me more. Tell me more.

Vicki: So, I do believe, uh, I believe you're right. I think that, and again, Coralie said, this is called not safe for brunch, but This is actually a great brunch topic, especially if you're with your girls.

Right. Um, because I know that in my experience, even women far older than me, and I'm in my mid fifties, they're already there. They don't know, you know? So if you start this conversation in a group of women of all ages, I can promise you, if they're just listening, they're taking notes, they're taking notes.

Coralie: We also want to empower you, our listeners, to take control of your own pleasure and advocate for your needs. You are important and you are always going to be your own best advocate. Well, I don't know about you guys, but I feel like I learned a lot today.

Vicki: Oh my gosh, me too. more importantly, I feel empowered to [00:32:00] explore, my own body, and pleasure even more in making sure that my needs are met, no matter what.

Coralie: Absolutely. And remember, your pleasure is your birthright. From utero. That's what we learned today. From utero. So, don't be afraid to experiment. Communicate. And own your sexuality.

Amber: Thanks for pulling up a chair at our unapologetic brunch table today. If you enjoyed the conversation, don't forget to like subscribe and leave us a review. It's like tipping your server, but for podcasts and Hey, sign up for our weekly newsletter using the link in the show notes so you never miss the juiciest, most unfiltered chats we're serving up.

Remember, brunch isn't just about the mimosas, it's about the authentic connection and keeping it unapologetically real. Until next time, let's keep the brunch vibes alive and the conversation flowing.