Episode 24: Dive Into Backdoor Play: Tips for Safe and Sensual Exploration

Welcome to 'Not Safe for Brunch,' where we dive into everything intimate, unfiltered unapologetically. In this episode, hosts Coralie, Amber, and Vicki provide a detailed beginner's guide to anal play. They explore the pleasures and stigmas around anal stimulation, emphasizing the importance of comfort, consent, education, and safety. With over 55 years of combined experience in the intimacy industry, the hosts share practical tips on preparation, proper lubrication, and communication to ensure a positive experience. If you’re curious about anal play, this engaging conversation is your perfect starting point. For more great content and product recommendations, visit NotSafeForBrunch.com

Connect with us!

Sign up for our newsletter: https://newsletter.notsafeforbrunch.com/

Email us your questions or topic suggestions: notsafeforbrunch@gmail.com

Follow us on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/notsafeforbrunch
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notsafeforbrunch/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@NotSafeforBrunch
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NotSafeforBrunch

Transcript

Vicki: [00:00:00] Let's talk about Buts baby, A Beginner's Guide to Anal Play. This is our topic du jour. We are here for all the curious minds, so gather around, get comfy. We're about to have a cheeky little conversation about the pleasures of anal play, how to ease into it like a pro, and most importantly, how to do it safely. you're just sitting on the porch or thinking about stepping through that back door. It's all about comfort, consent, and curiosity.

Coralie: Welcome to Not Safe for Brunch. In this podcast, we're here to bring sex insight and real world education to the table unapologetically. Think about it as having those important, unfiltered brunch conversations with your closest friends about sex relationships and everything in between. With over 55 years of experience combined in the intimacy industry, helping individuals and couples focus on breaking down barriers.

Coralie: [00:01:00] Reducing shame and empowering people to embrace their desires and relationships with confidence. Hi, I'm Coralie. I live in the Vancouver area. I'm a married mama, two half empty nesting, one in one out, and my secret power is I love a good rabbit hole. I love digging deep and finding the truth or the root cause of a situation.

Amber: And I'm Amber. I live in Ontario. I'm married. I'm a mom and a gma. And an unapologetic quality of mine is I weed through the fluff, and I get to the point. 

Vicki: I love it. I am Vicki. I'm in Manitoba. I'm divorced, and I'm reentering the relationship space. I'm a mom to two grownups and my magic is making meaningful connections and relationship, which of course creates trust.

Amber: So why the hype about the behind First things first. Why anal? Well, the anus is rich in nerve endings, making it surprisingly sensitive and potentially [00:02:00] very pleasurable when stimulated and some people, it opens up, pun intended, a whole new world. I wanted to sing that A whole new world.

Amber: But for folks with a prostate stimulation can lead to what some describe as earth shattering toe curling or orgasms. And for others, that could create a deep, full body pleasure, especially when combined with other kinds of stimulation. But whether or not you plan to go all the way inside, remember you can sit on the porch.

Amber: You don't have to go inside the back door.

Amber: That's right. External anal play like massaging or using a finger or a toy around the rim can be deliciously satisfying all on its own.

Amber: I've recently commented on a comment on one [00:03:00] of our YouTube videos, who it was a man is explaining how, oh my gosh, why did I wait so long to try anal? This was in incredible. And I just comment. He was like, I guess he was disappointed. He waited so long and now, you know, like, I'm like, time's not running out.

Amber: You got lots of time. Keep doing it.

Vicki: Yes. Yeah. And, for men who. Who decide that they're going to give it a shot. Whether they ease in or they dive in. Are very few negative reviews that I've heard. It, just, I, of course, again, nothing is an absolute, but most men do if they allow themselves to go there.

Vicki: And a lot of it is a mental game. If they allow themselves to go there, they do have a fairly pleasurable experience.

Amber: Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

Coralie: you know, would say the same thing for not only men but women. I think that the people who have stepped into it without doing any education with just thinking you can just shove. A GIR thing in there, they're the ones that don't enjoy it. It's

Amber: Dude, that [00:04:00] was my first experience.

Coralie: yeah, they didn't do the prep work or anything like that and maybe it was accidental too, so it could have been a really bad experience. they're kind of scared to go there. But I think most people, if they to this podcast, get some education or, you know, read something, find some information, and take the steps to do it properly. I think you'd be surprised.

Vicki: I'd have to agree. I think you're right about the prep work, and being comfortable with the partner that you are doing this. With, and if you're on your own, which is also great,

Coralie: Mm-hmm.

Vicki: is a great way to do some beginner exploring on your own, making sure you're using an appropriate object, making sure that you are being safe, good lubricant, yada, yada.

Vicki: Like, I mean, we're gonna go through all this stuff, but, all of those steps are only going to give you a benchmark that you can now build off of.

Coralie: Yeah, I'm sure all three of us have heard this over the years, whether it is someone who has a penis or someone who has a vagina, that when they [00:05:00] have orgasms from that stimulation, they blow other orgasms outta the water. Like so many women find that easier to orgasm that way than having a G-spot yet there's still

Amber: Yeah.

Coralie: So let's dive in because I want everyone orgasms. They can have.

Amber: Right? 

Vicki: Yes. Okay. So let's start with respecting the ring. Before we even think about putting anything near or in the backside, let's talk about some anatomy and some safety first. So, the anus in general, the organ itself does not self lubricate. So lubricant is a non-negotiable. always, always use a good lubricant.

Vicki: Silicone is often suggested for anal play, but using a lubricant and making sure that you are well lubricated so there is no dragging is very important.

Coralie: And also can we add into there? There are some, anal creams out there, some sensitizers, and there's also some that have like a numbing [00:06:00] agent. Stay away from those.

Vicki: Yes.

Amber: Yeah.

Coralie: want a numbing agent. And that's also why it's not a good idea to experiment if you have had a lot to drink.

Coralie: Because you know if your body's feeling pain, you wanna know it. 'cause that's your body's way of saying, wait, we're doing something a little wrong here. We gotta adjust. And if you have had too much to drink or you used a numbing agent, you're not gonna feel that and you wanna feel that.

Vicki: Yeah, I agree. And I think that if you are exploring with a partner, we're gonna go back to my favorite thing in the whole wide world, which is communication, right? This is a conversation prior to the action, and if you are not in a space with another human that you're gonna go into this action with, and you can't have that conversation, you're not ready for this action with them. I think that's also really important because there's so much that has to happen. There's so much communication that has to o occur. Some of it will be silent, in that space. So I just think that that's a really important, thing to touch on.

Coralie: Mm-hmm.

Amber: [00:07:00] Yeah, and when you're ready to jump into it, just have a safe word. It's fine.

Vicki: Yeah,

Amber: You wanna be able to have that stop safe word.

Vicki: Yeah, so the rectum itself has some sensitive tissues. So you wanna treat it like a guest bathroom in someone else's house. So gently respectful, and leave it cleaner than you found it. a, that's always a good rule. and anything that goes inside should be smooth. It should be body safe, and it should be, if it is a toy flared at the base so that it cannot go through.

Amber: Yeah, nobody wants that ER visit. Especially if it's vibrating and you're like, Ugh. Oh my gosh. And it's stuck there. No.

Vicki: When I worked in the operating room, I would go in on a Sunday morning and I would literally look, I would walk onto the operating room floor and I would look to the right and if the one or was open at the end. I knew somebody had too many whiskeys and decided to put something that didn't belong in their backside.

Vicki: In their backside because that was the bowel room. And I was [00:08:00] like, this is not how I wanted my Sunday morning to start. And that's not how they wanted their Saturday night to end. Right.

Coralie: No doubt.

Vicki: Totally. Yeah.

Coralie: one thing too that I would like to point out is that there's actually two rings, right? So there's the external ring and there's another ring that's internal I think we should dive into that when we get a little bit further down, but just remember there's two, two rings, but we're just on the outside.

Coralie: We're gonna work our way back or up, I dunno, whatever

Amber: In,

Coralie: in. 

Coralie: So we mentioned, lubricant, right? We don't naturally lubricate there. We want some lubrication there. So think lube like WD 40 of pleasure. Just don't use.

Vicki: No.

Amber: All right. Nothing works without it. So there are different types of lubes that you can be using, like a water-based, which can be great for beginners.

Amber: And a lot of us already have the water-based, so if we're gonna try it, maybe I won't like it. Why buy a lube that we're not gonna use again? Right. They're compatible often with [00:09:00] condoms and toys and stuff too, but they will probably need. Application again and again and again.

Amber: If you're gonna continue to, use a water-based while you're having any kind of anal 

Coralie: Yeah.

Coralie: There's some really nice thicker water-based lubes. If you don't like silicone, 'cause silicone with, if you're using condoms, that's just not a good mix too. Sutil, they're rich is so thick that you would think it's a silicone, like.

Amber: Yeah, it is a fabulous lube like I am all for that Sutil Rich. So if you are curious and wanna know what we're talking about, I don't, over to our website,

Amber: not safe for brunch.com, and you can actually find it right there on our website.

Coralie: Yeah.

Amber: So silicone based is another one that, would be recommended for anal play.

Amber: Super slick. It's really long lasting. It's great for those extended sessions. It can, or it cannot degrade a silicone toy, like we've heard different things, right? So you really gotta watch what you're using it with. And it has to be washed off with soap and water. So.

Coralie: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I actually did a deep dive into that in the last couple days [00:10:00] while I was

Amber: Oh, good. Okay.

Coralie: overhaul. Yeah. So this is what I have learned, is that the most part, that is not gonna be an issue if you have a good quality silicone. If you are buying a toy from Temu Timo, then that. Might have a problem, you might notice some degradation, but most toys that are like all the toys that we sell on our website, we don't put cheap stuff on there. So, um, but yeah, it's generally just a myth. And it sounds like, I mean, I didn't go into a super deep dive, I'm just at the beginning of this journey, but it sounds like that was something that was perpetuated to get people to buy more and spend more, so.

Vicki: Sure.

Amber: Yep. I don't doubt that at all. At all, at all,

Coralie: Yeah.

Vicki: Absolutely. It's just like on your shampoo bottles. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Amber: right? Well, sometimes I have to, but whatever.

Coralie: Uh,

Vicki: Too

Amber: Um, and then the other,, option for a lubricant is oil-based. [00:11:00] So fabulous for long sessions. And of course you could also use it for massage, but it's not condom friendly, so you gotta be careful with that as well.

Amber: So if you're. Using a condom, which we always recommend. You don't want to be using an oil based lubricant,

Coralie: And the golden rule, you never have enough.

Amber: right?

Vicki: There is never too much lube,

Amber: Never.

Vicki: with anal.

Vicki: All right, so let's talk a little bit about how to get our mind right when we're thinking about going into this kind of action. So you wanna be in a relaxed space. Obviously you want this to be a consensual act if you are involving another person. As Coralie mentioned, we wanna be sober when we're trying anal. Not just when we're trying it. When we're doing it regularly, I still think that anal should be something we do when we're sober, um, because we need to be and have all of our capacities. You can hurt yourself, so we wanna make sure that you are, as Coralie would say, protecting the butthole. [00:12:00] So you wanna talk with your partner, or yourself, if you're flying solo, have the conversation. All right. So set some boundaries. Say words like Amber said. Breathe and relax your body. And sometimes that full body foreplay, massage, sometimes even having, as a woman, having an orgasm first, can be great.

Vicki: Or even as a man, you might, you might prefer to have an orgasm first and then dive into it. It's really up to you, whatever makes you feel most comfortable. so if you're feeling nervous. It's okay. It's normal. You're not assembling IKEA furniture here. There's no rush, there's no timeline.

Vicki: We don't have to decide what that looks like. You could get partway today and next week try again. There are no deadlines when it comes to how, when, and at what length you explore Anal pleasure.

Coralie: All right, the slow dance of anal play here is how beginners can get acquainted. One, start outside. You don't just go into someone's house without knocking. You wanna hang out at the door, and just get to know it there, you [00:13:00] know? And same with everything. Make sure that your fingers are clean. Or your partner's fingers are clean. And I know that most people are going to go do a little freshen up, use the bidet, whatever, make sure things are shiny, got glitter. Hygiene is really important, so make sure things are clean and, you can use a looped up toy or even finger, like that's typically what I recommend to my.

Coralie: Clients before they purchase something. finger play first. Because if you don't enjoy that sensation, there's no point in buying a plug or beads or anything like that, or going further with a partner. You know, that's gonna give you a really good indication. So explore and stimulate around the rim, around the perennial area. Um, and it can feel really good. And I would add in there too, if you got a partner, a toy, whatever, or three arms, like try and get some clitoral stimulation at the same time. Ring the doorbell and the back door at the same time.

Vicki: Yes, I agree. I think that, when you're engaging all three of those areas, it brings on a different kind of relaxation. It intensifies the sensitivity, it makes the [00:14:00] finish more incredible.

Coralie: Mm-hmm. 

Vicki: Once you are, relaxed, insert a lubed pinky or an index finger. Slowly press pause. Breathe. Repeat. So you wanna go slowly using a small toy, at first, and then you know something.

Vicki: The size of a pinky, not like your forearm. All right. We don't need, we don't need to bring the girth master in. We just need experience pressure sometimes is more than enough.

Coralie: Yeah. You start small. You don't. You don't start with a penis or a toy that is like a penis, like that is a really great way to not enjoy it.

Vicki: Right. Right. And if DP is something you're into, right, you really wanna experience both areas. Um, you could have something smaller inside the vagina, something smaller inside the backside, and that will, help to sort of increase that intensity. But we're not talking about major components here, [00:15:00] right?

Amber: Yeah. And a big thing, and we say it all the time, communicate, you know, ask, how does this feel? If you are doing this to a partner, do you want more or less? And you as the partner, if that's not being asked to you. You, if you are the one, one receiving anal stimulation, you need to be vocal and just be like, that's okay.

Amber: Stop right there. Be very vocal and communicate while it's happening.

Vicki: Yeah, and I think that is a great rule in all action in the bedroom.

Amber: Yeah.

Vicki: And I think that's sexy when you start communicating. How does it feel? What do you like? Do you want more? Is this, I don't know. That's a surefire way to increase the fire in the belly, not in the backside,

Amber: Yeah, stop. If it hurts, like

Amber: pain is not right. You shouldn't be feeling any pain.

Coralie: Mm-hmm.

Vicki: No, you're gonna feel pinching.

Coralie: And pressure.

Vicki: But you shouldn't feel pain. And if you do, then you just need more relaxation. Today might not be the day your brain and your body might not be working together. [00:16:00] It it, it's another conversation. Maybe there needs to be more trust. I don't know what it is, but it's, it's our job.

Vicki: Figure that out. And to be with a partner that we trust, to stop is important.

Coralie: I think another thing to consider, and I didn't even think about this until like just this moment, is where are you in your cycle? If you enjoyed it one time, but you did another time, because we all know how the vulva and the vagina and the sensation changes throughout our cycle.

Coralie: So you could be like, oh, I'm in my luteal phase. Do me in the butt.

Vicki: Yeah, and I don't think that a lot of us pay that close attention to even just. The factors leading up to a great experience were I, I don't know that we spent a lot of time paying that much attention to it, but I think if you do, your results are gonna be phenomenal.

Coralie: Yeah, totally. And let's talk about too, when you are ready to go, you're like, okay, I like that. I enjoyed it with the finger. And you know, with that outdoor play, and then well. Outer play and then you do some penetration, and then you are at the [00:17:00] point where you are ready to use a, penis or a similarly shaped toy.

Coralie: That's where the second ring comes in handy. Knowing about the second ring, because we do have two sphincters in that area, and. about the second sphincter can really help curb a lot of the anxiety that someone might have about anal play, because what is everyone afraid of? There's one thing. It's one thing people are afraid of. Well, two, a little bit of it is pain, but I think more than that, they're afraid of pooping. So that's where the knowledge about the second sphincter comes in handy. And, this is something I was taught moons ago we have this sphincter right here. This is how I refer to it. I call this the screen door, and then about two inches in, there's a storm door. Okay?

Vicki: I love that.

Coralie: So the storm door, if you've ever had that like drunken wrong hole moment [00:18:00] and you are in pain that night, the next day your guts hurt. because that second sphincter was just pushed open and no one warned it. No one like turned the dial or anything like that. So, a good. Way to help prep that is if you are going to, again, this isn't for a finger, this is for like an average sized penis or toy. Once the head is in the first door. You're gonna just pause there for a second and if you be like, how was your day? What do you have dinner, whatever, that'll,

Vicki: Yeah.

Coralie: your relationship, you'll be really comfortable. Um, but you wanna kind of pause there for like 30 to 45 seconds before penetrating more because the screen door being opened is going to relax the storm door. And once that door is open, then you can fully penetrate and you won't have to worry about. Pain or damage or even pooping as much. Now, what you wanna remember [00:19:00] too is that when you are withdrawing, same rules apply. You pull out until you have just that little bit that's not out, you let the storm door close. You let it close, it keeps the poop on the other side, and then you slowly withdraw. You have to do that same thing. Wait that 30 to 45 seconds because if you just think if you have this kind of open hallway and it's stopped, then something just pulls out. I mean, it's physics, everything, in there is gonna come with it, right?

Coralie: So, that's really important to remember and once a lot of people know that and understand that one, it kills some of that anxiety around it. Two, education is just powerful, especially when it comes to sex. And three, another thing I think that's important to point out is that for a lot of, I don't know if. Men experience this same thing. But for a lot of the women that I've talked to, I'd love feedback actually, that it's not about Pound town. You know, sometimes when you're doing regular penis and vagina sex, you get passionate, you're banging against each other. You're like, [00:20:00] oh my God. But if you do that. But in the back door, it's gonna, that might not feel so good. So anal sex is actually, when it's done properly, it's actually really slow and sensual. And that's why a lot of women enjoy it. And one of the things that I find that I've just noticed, a pattern I've noticed is that because it's taboo, a lot of specifically men want it, they talk about it all the time, a lot more because it's taboo.

Coralie: And then, so if their partner. a woman is like, yeah, let's try it. Let's experiment. And she takes the advice and she learns the proper way. She'll actually really enjoy it and want it a lot, but then he might not want it as much because he doesn't wanna go slow. You know? The tables

Vicki: Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And I think that, you talked about that pause on entry and on exit. That's the place right there where you ask the how does it feel? What do you think? What do you want more of? You know, whatever. Whatever. That's your moment, right? [00:21:00] That's your pause. That's a long time. Have you ever tried to have conversation? While with penetration for 30 seconds, it's a lot of talking, that gives you that time to sort of pause, reflect, see how everyone's feeling in the space, move forward. I love that. That was, that was a great class masterclass by Coralie. Thank you. Love it.

Coralie: Uh, I mean, that's not out there. They're not teaching that in sex ed. You know,

Amber: No.

Coralie: know it unless we go looking for that information or we happen to

Vicki: Right.

Coralie: it, so.

Vicki: and we've been talking a lot on this podcast about porn, and of course most porn is not giving us a realistic idea of what anal play can look like.

Amber: Yeah.

Vicki: Um, and I think that the three of us collectively, we know how often . Our female clients are coming to us saying that their male partner, partners want to try some anal play.

Vicki: What can they do? What can they use, how can they start? And they're perfectly willing to go on this journey with them. And dare I [00:22:00] say, the people who are communicating this way and whether or not they are engaging in the activity, but that are creating that communication, they have these much stronger, more connected relationships.

Vicki: When I look. At the masses, you know, the people that I see that have been speaking and really exploring together. I don't know. I, it is super sexy.

Coralie: And also too, just to, clarify all those rules about the rings apply. If it's the other way around. If you

Vicki: Yes.

Coralie: or you know, prostate stimulation, same rules apply.

Coralie: So when I was going on my little deep dive into, strap ons that I was earlier this week, One thing I came across was a clip, and I wasn't looking for porn. I was looking for information, but you know how like whatever just shows up on your feed. but of, A man being pegged. He was laying down like sort of missionary, being pegged by a woman on her knees and pegging him, doing the top work that we know is a lot of work.

Coralie: And we thank everyone who is willing to put in all the top work. but while [00:23:00] simultaneously giving him a hand job. And I think if more men saw that, 'cause that guy looked like he was having the time of his life. I think that they would, um, be a

Amber: It probably was.

Coralie: open, open to trying it. I think a lot of times for men or penis owners to , willing to talk about wanting to engage in anal play. There's also that sort of societal standard that has been put in their heads their whole lives. Like we've all known it about how it somehow relates to their sexuality

Amber: Mm-hmm.

Vicki: Right.

Coralie: doesn't at all. And you're,

Amber: No.

Coralie: out. You're missing out if you're not willing to.

Coralie: If you don't want to, that's fine. And I don't

Vicki: Right.

Coralie: into backdoor play. But if you're curious, but you're not doing it because of. A certain feeling that is coming from within or from a society, then that's worth that exploring.

Vicki: Yep. I agree. 

Coralie: Which rolls us into cleanliness 

Vicki: we are obviously talking about a place on our body that is not synonymous with. Feeling clean. [00:24:00] So you don't need to be squeamish and weird about it and everybody poops, right? But it's usually pretty minimal if you have any kind of a little, accident or if something sort of happens, you may wanna make sure you've evacuated your bowels that day, and that you're feeling confident in that way.

Vicki: And use a gentle or a wipe or, Coralie mentioned the bidet. That's always nice if you've got one. So avoid doing any like full on enemas. Unless you're really experienced, but I don't know if you've ever had an enema before, but that's no fun. that doesn't feel sexy, I'll tell you that right now.

Coralie: Yeah.

Vicki: Yeah. And all that water, it can mess with your natural bacteria and we really wanna keep the area as natural flora as possible. Right.

Coralie: you have

Amber: Yeah,

Coralie: you go to that you're like, every time I eat there, I poop. Don't eat there that day.

Amber: don't go there. If you are using any kind of toy, you definitely want to make sure that that toy is only used for the back door. Don't move it over to the front door.

Coralie: And don't share. And if

Vicki: no sharing.

Coralie: and [00:25:00] if you

Amber: Mm-hmm.

Coralie: any of those things, condoms, like condoms make everything safer, you know?

Amber: Yeah.

Vicki: Absolutely. And clean the toy really, really well. Afterwards, we need to make sure that you recognize that there is cleaners that are going to make sure that you're safe. So when you use that again, wow, we still have to say these things I know, but.

Coralie: Yeah. , Also too, when it comes to poop, that is an important conversation to have with the person that you are going to engage with because you can talk about it beforehand. Like, what if, let's talk about our fears. What if there's poop? You find out how the person who is most likely going to be touching the poop is gonna react. You are gonna know right away if that's someone you want to go for forward with, right? If they're like, well, it happens. What do you expect? Then, you know they're gonna be cool with it. But if they're like, just stop. Not your, not your butt person.

Vicki: That is not your butt person. Yeah. Next. Not your butt buddy. Is that what you just said? That's great.

Vicki: I was just reading through [00:26:00] this book and there was some like, great little tidbits, like, don't let porn be your teacher. I love that we talked about that. How, what you see is that fantasy versus reality again it's moving back to communicate with the person that you're with.

Vicki: What works, what doesn't work, what do they like, what do they not like? Figuring that out together. And the next little tidbit that I picked up was the slower you go, the faster you get there. Coralie, you said that I love it. And I couldn't agree more. I think that it's, it's such an integral part of it that people think that it has to be this, you know, voracious sort of activity and it's

Coralie: It's porn.

Vicki: never,

Amber: Yeah.

Coralie: It's

Vicki: Porn once again, not doing us a solid.

Coralie: Yeah. And can I just add in there that if you are experimenting and doing that. Keep focusing on the clitoris as well. Like those nerve endings are all connected and you're going to enjoy it a lot more if you're getting the, clit stim, like with the clitoris. Those long legs, nerve endings, they are all [00:27:00] connected and they're all around that area, so that's why we get a lot of sensation from it. So stimulate it, stimulate it at the same time.

Vicki: We're already not paying enough attention to all of those nerve endings, right from the clitoral.

Coralie: Mm-hmm.

Vicki: piece at the external clitoris all the way through to the backside. We're already not paying enough attention to that. So just imagine some clitoral stimulation, a little anal tapping, some stimulation in and around the opening.

Vicki: Maybe you just go in the screen door. All of that. Just building, building, building. Um, you don't have to the whole buffet

Coralie: Mm-hmm.

Vicki: your first run, right? Sometimes we get to saddle up to the buffet a second time.

Coralie: Yeah. Absolutely.

Coralie: Let's circle in for a little bit just into positioning that you can do if you're actually going for penetrative with another person, to protect the butthole.

Coralie: Okay. That's the rule here. when I'm talking to my clients, or just talking in general about anal sex, I think it's really [00:28:00] important to let people know that, Doggy style is sacrificial and it's

Vicki: butthole that is going to be sacrificed. So, that is something that should be held off for someone who is very experienced with that partner.

Coralie: And you know, that partner is going to the butthole, because if we damage our, floor, a lot of times we can, you know, do the muscles and the exercises to pull that back, but there's not a lot for damaging those sphincters. So make sure that you are not going into the sacrificial position.

Coralie: Missionary woman on top, or even side spooning are safer positions to explore in.

Vicki: I think that's exactly right and I think that whoever is the recipient decides the positioning. Um, 

Amber: Yeah.

Vicki: make sure that you have control, that you have some control. Doggy style. It's really [00:29:00] tough. All you can do is run away, you know? Um, you know, that's a little nerve wracking. And of course, we're not gonna be putting ourselves in positions with people that we don't trust. But if you need to feel like you need to retreat, you wanna feel like you have that control. So I

Amber: Mm-hmm.

Vicki: that's a really big thing. And yeah, if you are the recipient, you get to choose the positioning that makes you feel most comfortable and the provider gets to work around that.

Coralie: The one with the hole has the control. I love it.

Vicki: There you go.

Amber: Perfect.

Vicki: That's exactly what I meant. Yeah. Yeah.

Coralie: If you're going into a pegging situation, Mm-hmm.

Vicki: All right, so we recognize that pleasure is personal. Anal play isn't for everyone, and that's okay. what matters is that you explore only what feels right for you without shame. So whether you are just tickling the doorknob or bringing a welcome mat and candles, you are in control. And always [00:30:00] remember, you can sit on the porch. You don't have to go inside the back door, before you do, go inside, bring some snacks, some lube, lots and lots of lube.

Coralie: This episode was brought to you by Satil Rich. Have you or someone you love ever been victimized by bad advice for backdoor play? Did someone tell you lube was optional? It's not optional. It's required. Meet the thickest, cust lube, your lady bits and backdoor parts have ever met. It's Sutil rich. This is thick and nonsticky.

Coralie: It's pH balance for backdoor. Menopausal play, water-based condom, safe, all the good stuff. Hyaluronic acid for actual hydration. It's like skincare but free. Your down there part. This lube supports your libido and your tissues. Unlike your ex, it won't disappear when things heat up because it's 2025 and we don't do pain in the name of pleasure unless you're into that, which is totally okay.

Coralie: Use safe words, but the bottom line is your butt deserves [00:31:00] better. This is available on the Not Safe for Brunch Store at not Safe for brunch.com.

Amber: Thanks for pulling up a chair at our unapologetic brunch table today. If you enjoyed the conversation, don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave us a review. It's like tipping your server, but for podcasts. And hey, sign up for our weekly newsletter using the link in the show notes so you never miss the juiciest, most unfiltered chats we're serving up.

Amber: Remember, brunch isn't just about the mimosas, it's about the authentic connection and keeping it unapologetically real. Until next time, let's keep the brunch vibes alive and the conversation flowing.