Episode: 39 - Prostate Play Unplugged: More Than Just the Male G-Spot

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In this episode of Taboo Talks, Not Safe for Brunch, hosts Coralie, Amber, and Vicki dive into the mysteries of the prostate, often referred to as the male G-spot. They discuss its location, function, and role in both health and pleasure. The conversation tackles the stigma surrounding prostate play, especially in cis male communities, emphasizing its benefits for sexual health, erectile dysfunction, and overall well-being. The hosts also explore various tools and techniques for prostate stimulation, from beginner-friendly massagers to more advanced options. They highlight the importance of open communication with partners and healthcare professionals and advocate for breaking down societal taboos to promote happier, healthier lives. Join the conversation and learn why prostate care is an essential part of self-care.

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Transcript

Coralie: [00:00:00] It's about the size of a walnut, but this little guy is responsible for some really big feelings physically and emotionally, whether you've got one, whether you love someone who does, or you just wanna understand why the prostate gets called the male G spot. Today we're cracking open the mystery spoiler. It's not just about sex. And yes, we're gonna talk about how prostate play might actually help with erectile dysfunction.

Coralie: Welcome to Taboo Talks, not Safe for brunch where nothing is off the table. We're diving into real conversations about sex, relationships, and self-discovery with zero shame and a whole lot of sass. 

Vicki: With over 55 years of combined experience in the intimacy industry and plenty of real life lessons, we are here to break taboos, bust myths, and serve up unapologetic.

Vicki: Real world education, one brunch convo at a time. 

Coralie: I'm Coralie tuning in from Vancouver. I'm a married mom with one foot in the Empty Nest club. [00:01:00] My superpower is going deep down rabbit holes and getting to the real root of things. 

Amber: And I'm Amber. I'm based in Ontario. I'm married. I'm a mom, a gma. And proudly blunt, I cut through the fluff and get straight to what matters.

Vicki: I'm Vicki and I'm from Manitoba. I'm divorced reentering the dating scene. I'm a mom to two grownups, and my magic is creating real connection because intimacy starts with trust. 

Coralie: Grab your mimosa, your matcha, or whatever turns you on, and let's dive in.

Amber: Okay. Real talk. Did anyone else grow up thinking the prostate was just this weird, mysterious thing that doctors poked at once you turned 50?

Coralie: Totally. It was like this taboo zone. It was only talked about in the form of cancer or jokes on sitcoms.

Vicki: Right, and now here we are full grown, realizing it's actually a major player in pleasure in health and connection, yet it's still so misunderstood. 

Amber: All right, so let's dive into what the prostate is and where you [00:02:00] can find it. So the location of the prostate is just below the bladder in front of the rectum.

Amber: So yes, you're going in from behind. All right. And the main job is it produces semial fluid and it also aids in urination and plays a role in hormone production. So if you're a male and you've got this prostate, listen, it's doing a whole lot.

Amber: So the prostate is a sensitive bundle of nerves. This is why it's often called the P spot, because when you're stimulating the prostate, it can be doing a whole lot of amazing things for your orgasm.

Amber: So the prostate can enlarge with age, and this is known as benign prosthetic hyperplasia, and it affects urination and erections. So that's why you'll often notice that sometimes as you age, erections may become a little more difficult, And in en large prostate doesn't directly cause erectile dysfunction, but certain treatments.

Amber: For [00:03:00] this can actually impact your ability to maintain an erection

Coralie: Hmm. And also the urination. I mean, as men get older, I don't know, they get their bladders. It looks like they get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller, like little hamster bladders.

Vicki: I love hanging around with men who are in this age group and their prostate is, you know, doing the thing because, uh, that means they know where all the bathrooms 

Vicki: are. 

Amber: So why do you think there's still so much stigma around even talking about the prostate, especially in cis male communities?

Vicki: I mean, I think that it's because men are supposed to man up and I, again, these are quotations if you're just listening, we don't subscribe to that. But I think that there is this belief system that just tells men that they're supposed to be a particular way and they shouldn't be talking about, , any variations otherwise.

Coralie: I think one of the main reasons too is because there's this whole, [00:04:00] story out there in people's heads that if you're a man and you like stuff in the butt, you're gay. And if they have any sort of shame attached to that or they have something internalized about that, it's gonna be really hard to talk about. And we know what hole you like to put it in does not indicate your sexuality. And

Coralie: even if it did, it's okay to be gay.

Vicki: Right. And it's also none of my business,

Coralie: Great.

Vicki: Except from the sexual health educator aspect.

Vicki: I don't care. It does not matter what you do and where you do it.

Coralie: This episode is brought to you by our Not Safe for Brunch Intimacy Shop, where curiosity is always welcome and we keep the good stuff in stock. If you're ready to explore prostate play, there's some seriously well-designed tools out there. One style we love is the kind that works with your body.

Coralie: Hands-free, no vibration. It's just all angled in the right way. These toys respond to your natural muscle movement and can unlock deeper, more controlled sensations. It's subtle, it's powerful. Yeah, absolutely. Hands-free orgasms are on the table, [00:05:00] 

Vicki: or maybe you want a little more intensity. That's where vibrating prostate massagers come in.

Vicki: We carry models with multiple speeds and patterns, still hands-free, but with that added pulse to help you really dial things up. These toys stimulate multiple pleasure points at once and can be used with or without power. So depending on your mood, they are sleek, body, safe, and great. Whether you're new to prostate play or looking to level up.

Amber: Either way, there's no wrong choice. Just different vibes for different bodies. Prostate play can boost pleasure and support better sexual health and help reconnect you to your body in ways that are both hot and healing. So if you're curious, head to our Not safe for brunch, intimacy. Shop links in the show notes.

Amber: We've got options, info, and no judgment. Alright, now that you know your prostate deserves more than just a passing mention, let's get back to the show. 

Coralie: [00:06:00] Let's talk about pleasure play and the prostate orgasm. So prostate orgasms can enhance or even trigger irregular orgasm without even touching the penis, without touching it. Wow. I know some of you're really gonna like that.

Amber: And this is why, it's like going back to, the stigma around it and, males not wanting to do it because of whatever reason you're really missing out.

Amber: Yeah, totally. You have so many different things you can use. There's tools. We have some great ones on our site. There's massagers. We have 10 prostate play toys on our body. If you're interested in toys, which is great. Aeros, they have a really great one for beginners. If you are not watching on YouTube, you might wanna skip on over for this one. 'cause we're [00:07:00] showing this toy. So this one here is the MGX by and Arrows. And this part here where it touches the prostate is very wide. So if you're a new, prostate play person, this is a really good starter one because there's less guessing, you know, it just makes it easier for you because it's not pinpointed and sometimes that pinpoint can be too much pressure when you're new. So this is much more, much more palatable for someone who is new to prostate play. And the helix is the other one that has the more pinpoint one. So this one is less aggressive than the Helix one and it's just cute.

Amber: is cute. It's cute. And listen, you can grab it right on our website.

Coralie: Yeah, with your prostate relaxation. Patients communication are key, especially if you're with a partner. A lot of people experiment on their own at first, which is totally normal.

Coralie: Sometimes you wanna do that on your own to kind of figure things out. , And again, it's not just for gay men, anyone. With a prostate can play. I wish I had one.[00:08:00] 

Amber: I know I wanna experience it.

Coralie: I know, 

Amber: Multiple orgasms so easily.

Coralie: I know, but I want that one. I want yours Anyways, you guys, , what do we think would shift if people would start seeing the prostate as a pleasure center instead of a punchline? A joke.

Vicki: Ugh. I think we would see so many happier men.

Coralie: Yes.

Vicki: I think, right? I mean, orgasms and all that come along with that just make us better people. And I think that, I think that. That men would just be more relaxed. And I think that we would, I, I think that we would see happier couples. I think we would see people, exploring together more because they could, without any sort of stigma.

Vicki: We know that I love to talk about how not talking about things and not having a sex decompress can be really detrimental to a relationship. I think it's smart. I think it's [00:09:00] smart to engage.

Amber: Well, and I think that if we started seeing more prostate play, you know, in even older men, because a lot of times they're dealing with this erectile dysfunction or issues, and that can be a secondary option for pleasure with your partner instead of just relying on the penis.

Vicki: Right. And then how about the health benefits

Amber: Yeah.

Vicki: prostate play? Now we're talking about. Is, would that constitute less incidents of prostate problems? I don't know. Maybe are

Vicki: we standing in our own way?

Coralie: There are studies that show that regular, oh, what's the medical term for it?

Vicki: Express.

Coralie: and maybe express like when

Coralie: you release that. There are, there are studies. Okay. I think it's release. I don't know. But yeah, there [00:10:00] are studies that show that regular release of that prostate fluid is good for their overall health. So, and yeah, I think that if more people would start seeing the prostate as a pleasure center, I think you're exactly right.

Coralie: I think people would be happier. We see a lot of grumpy men. Grumpy men and I, some of you, I just wanna give you a hug and tell you it's okay, I have this empathy for them because I feel like they haven't been given the permission to talk about how they feel, what they like. Like we have, we are almost expected to, right?

Coralie: And, and I know some of us don't. We hold it in and we kind of learn and grow as we get older that it's good for us and it's a lot harder for them to do that. So imagine you're just holding all this stuff in your whole life that you can't talk about. Like I know 50-year-old men who haven't cried since they were kids who've lost parents and haven't cried and, I just think, yeah, it's just about like being free. Be free, everyone. Be free.

Vicki: listen and talking about it from the space of being a sexual health [00:11:00] educator. I, I note that the most communicative clients that I have co in couples, heterosexual couples are those that are exploring all of the things that are exploring anal play for him, that are exploring digital simulation, in the rectum for prostate purposes.

Vicki: I, I just see. Communicative partnerships that

Vicki: way. 

Amber: Yeah. Sorry. I wanna go back but the term from medical news today,

Coralie: Okay. Yeah.

Amber: right? Is actually called prostate milking.

Vicki: Milking.

Amber: Yes.

Coralie: There's a word. Yes.

Amber: And the benefits to this, and I know we're jumping into some health stuff in a second, but the benefits to this is that not only can it feel good, it can make sex more pleasurable and enhance closeness between partners. I mean, clearly we're kind of delve into that. But there is also limited evidence that the [00:12:00] prostate massage may improve prostate health in general.

Amber: And I think we're driving into some of that health stuff.

Amber: Um, right now.

Vicki: Let's do it. Let's talk about prostate health. I think that's, of course we know, I love to talk about the health benefits. So pure, sorry. Poor prostate health can impact erections and sexual function, which is exactly what Amber just said. So we're talking about how important it is to. If you will, that prostate.

Vicki: I am not sure I love the term. But if that's the term we're using, let's go with it. But, stimulation of the prostate in of itself is healthy regular stimulation, solo or partnered, may improve blood flow and nerve response, which I think is, again, that's a great health benefit. Some men find that prostate play helps relieve symptoms of ed, which is erectile dysfunction by increasing sensation and even confidence.

Amber: Right. And there, when you're going into having that erectile dysfunction, if you have a solution. That can possibly [00:13:00] help. Why the hell aren't you trying it? Why would you jump to pills right away? You know, try this natural solution that can also increase your orgasms.

Vicki: exactly. Well, it's because, society, thinks that, you know, just throwing a pill at it is a good idea. We definitely believe in trying to serve ourselves and, and using the tools that we have. So I agree, Amber, a hundred percent. Why are we not. Using what we've got to increase our health. It's just like saying, why are we not eating more vegetables?

Vicki: They're right there. Right? Well, we just make choices that, that look differently, right? Seeing a specialist, such as a urologist is a must if there are ongoing issues. So again, you're gonna have to at some point engage, a healthcare professional. If it's an ongoing situation. So I think you're right.

Vicki: I think if we've got the opportunity, to explore, to see if we can at least bridge some of that gap, why wouldn't we? It's, again, we have to get out of our own way.

Coralie: Mm-hmm. , I think [00:14:00] it's really important for men too, or for us to start talking about with men that are younger who aren't even close to that age range yet, because if they can get more comfortable with the idea. You know, then when that time hits, they're gonna be more open with it than compared to if you're suddenly 55, 60 and someone's Hey, let's talk about putting things in your butt. You might be like, no, but if you're open to the idea, you're just talking about it earlier and be like, well, it's a common way to, or it's an easy way to help with erectile dysfunction when you get to that stage in life, because it's not an if it's a when. Then it's gonna be more open to talking about it.

Coralie: They're gonna be more open to talking about or trying it later. But also too, I just wanna share a quick story. I know I've shared it with you guys before, I might've shared it on the podcast, but I did a couple's event many years ago, like 15 years ago. And a lot of times when men were at this event, they were very obviously uncomfortable and just sort of sitting there. But this one event I did. It was couples and it was like a, they were like bikers, you know? They all had big [00:15:00] motorcycles and they were dressed like big biker guys, you know, jeans, leather jacket, scruffy. Those men came into that private shopping area. Butt stuff, butt stuff, butt stuff. These are men that you would look at, be like, that is a manly, that is a man's man.

Coralie: You know? Like, they did not care. They did not 

Vicki: They're comfortable. They're comfortable 

Coralie: it, and that is freaking incredible. Like the Manliest men are the true manliest Men are going to be comfortable having those conversations because they know it's not indicative of their sexuality

Coralie: at 

Vicki: but suddenly that makes them so sexy.

Coralie: Right?

Vicki: My God. 

Coralie: Right. 

Vicki: The second

Coralie: Confidence

Coralie: hot,

Vicki: confidence, the willingness, the wantingness, come on.

Coralie: Yes.

Vicki: This is proof that it does not matter how you present in the world when it comes to your, your shell. This is about your brain. This

Vicki: is about how what you [00:16:00] intellectually bring to the table.

Vicki: I'm down all day long.

Vicki: Love that. Mm-hmm. 

Coralie: totally.

Vicki: So guys, why do we think it's so hard for men to seek help for things like erectile dysfunction or even to admit that it's happening? I think that this goes back

Vicki: to our answer to everything lately.

Coralie: There. 

Amber: Well, honestly, I think it's just embarrassment. And even then, like you know, you're going to a doc, your doctor, and oh my gosh, now I gotta talk about. My penis and I'm not getting that erection when I wanted to, or as often as I wanted to. And you have to now openly talk with your doctor. And it can be embarrassing when intern, I mean, guys, your doctor has heard it all.

Amber: They've seen it all. They've heard it all. It's just a normal day. Like if you are a mechanic and you're working on a car every day, yes. That's all you see and you're just this, you're desensitized to it. So they're not judging you. They don't care. They're just there to help you.

Vicki: I also think that if you're not coming to, if you're in a partnership, if you're not coming to your person first and saying, this is what I'm struggling with, I'd like to try some stimulation in the area. [00:17:00] Maybe it's just external peroneal stimulation to start. Nobody wants to be, you know, the surprise provider of that.

Vicki: But sometimes you just have to, if things are not working right. You need to talk to your partner and that's something you guys can tackle together. Um, and that might give you the strength to go to the doctor or seek some professional help around that. But yeah, it goes back down to communication for me.

Vicki: If we can't talk to one another, what are we doing

Coralie: Mm-hmm. And I think too that it's, , honestly, I think it's harder for men. To talk to their doctor or to talk to their close men circle than it is to a female partner because for men in the male world, so it seems, correct me if I'm wrong, men, and I know you will. I know you won't, and I won't miss that opportunity, but. They are obsessed with their penis and with everyone else's penis. More than a woman ever is. You know, like their manliness is the size of their penis. They wanna insult someone. He is got a small dick. That guy's a man. He must have a big dick. Look at him swinging his big dick around. So something goes wrong [00:18:00] with their penis and they can't, you know, they have erectile dysfunction.

Coralie: They're worried about what the other men are gonna think that they're going to be less manly. That's my opinion.

Vicki: What they would find

Vicki: if they opened the conversation and they had brave friends,

Vicki: is that they would have a lot more in common than they assumed.

Coralie: And also what they would find if they had a friend that did not react in a positive way, they are dealing with it.

Vicki: Also true, right? Yeah. I

Coralie: Or they have some sort of story around it that you just touched a nerve on and it has nothing to do with you.

Vicki: Yeah, that's so true.

Vicki: One time somebody told me that I used humor to mask my pain, and, that is absolutely true. But,

Coralie: What other way is there?

Vicki: But I think, yeah, but I think that happens with a lot of men is that they, you know, elbow and, you

Vicki: know, 

Coralie: and I think humor. Yeah. And I think the humor's good. If you can't laugh about it we are a dark family, okay. We [00:19:00] laugh about the worst things, but, and I think that's important to do, but I also think you still have to. Do the feelings things with it. You know.

Coralie: Feelings. 

Vicki: I mean, as women, if we come to one another, even the three of us and say, Hey, I have this challenge, can you know, do you, have you guys heard of this? Or have, does this happen to you? We do that all

Vicki: the time. And we don't. Assume that there's gonna be judgment, we assume there's gonna be solutions

Vicki: and we're here for it.

Vicki: Right? So I want that more for men,

Coralie: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Vicki: If you're interested in diving into a little more information about backdoor play, we've got a free download in the show notes for you. If you want to dive a little deeper into your backstage pass,

Amber: So we started with a walnut sized mystery, and now we're here talking about pleasure, stigma, and a whole new way to understand the body.

Amber: Prostate care is self-care, whether it is about pleasure, health, or curiosity.

Coralie: If you've got one, get to know [00:20:00] it and if you love someone who has one, talk about it with them.

Vicki: And if you are still squeamish about it, ask yourself why. Maybe start there.

Amber: Thanks for pulling up a seat at the Taboo Talk. Not Safe for Brunch Table. If today's chat made you laugh, think squirm, or all three. Do us a solid like follow and leave a review. It's basically the podcast world's version of a good tip.

Vicki: Want more juicy, unfiltered conversations? Tap the link in the show notes and sign up for our weekly newsletter.

Vicki: Your VIP pass to what didn't make it on the air. 

Coralie: Brunch isn't just about the bites and bubbles, it's about showing up real raw and ready to talk about what really matters. So until next time, keep it bold, keep it curious, and definitely keep it not safe for brunch.