Episode: 41 - Shower Sex: Steamy Fantasy vs Slippery Reality

Shop shower friendly mentions!

Movies make shower sex look like the ultimate steamy hookup, but is it really that sexy, or just slippery and dangerous? In this episode of Not Safe for Brunch, Amber, Vicki, and Coralie break down the fantasy vs. reality of shower sex, how to avoid common fails (and ER trips), and ways to actually make it work (including solo play, waterproof toys, and silicone lube).

We’re serving up the laughs, cautionary tales, and practical tips, so you can decide for yourself: hot or not?

Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more unfiltered convos on sex, intimacy, and everything in between.

Connect with us!

Sign up for our newsletter: https://newsletter.notsafeforbrunch.com/

Email us your questions or topic suggestions: notsafeforbrunch@gmail.com

Follow us on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/notsafeforbrunch
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notsafeforbrunch/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@NotSafeforBrunch
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NotSafeforBrunch

Transcript

Amber: [00:00:00] Shower, sex, we've all thought about it. Some of us have tried it and most of us walked out thinking, well, that was slippery.

Coralie: The movies make it look really steamy and glamorous, but it usually ends up being more bruises than orgasms.

Vicki: Totally. So today we're gonna break it down, the fantasy, the fails, and how to make it a little less Cirque de Soleil on a wet floor.

Coralie: I kind of wanna spin now.

Coralie: Welcome to Taboo Talks, not Safe for brunch where nothing is off the table. We're diving into real conversations about sex, relationships, and self-discovery with zero shame and a whole lot of sass. 

Vicki: With over 55 years of combined experience in the intimacy industry and plenty of real life lessons, we are here to break taboos, bust myths, and serve up unapologetic.

Vicki: Real world education, one brunch convo at a time. 

Coralie: I'm Coralie tuning [00:01:00] in from Vancouver. I'm a married mom with one foot in the Empty Nest club. My superpower is going deep down rabbit holes and getting to the real root of things. 

Amber: And I'm Amber. I'm based in Ontario. I'm married. I'm a mom, a gma. And proudly blunt, I cut through the fluff and get straight to what matters.

Vicki: I'm Vicki and I'm from Manitoba. I'm divorced reentering the dating scene. I'm a mom to two grownups, and my magic is creating real connection because intimacy starts with trust. 

Coralie: Grab your mimosa, your matcha, or whatever turns you on, and let's dive in.

Amber: So shower, sex, fantasy versus reality. There's a gap there. All right.

Vicki: Totally.

Amber: Movie moments, it's like foggy glass and it's dripping wet, and your bodies are so incredibly entwined and everything's super hot and sexy, and that's just not really how it works.

Amber: I mean, you think about it like you go to a hotel and they've [00:02:00] got like this rainfall shower, and you're like, yes, I'm gonna recreate this moment I've seen in a movie, and we're hopping in the shower, and the rain's falling and the steam is happening, and you're like.

Vicki: Yeah. Have you ever had had an orgasm while being waterboarded? I mean, maybe. I mean, if you're into that, but I don't know.

Amber: Oh my God. You think it's clean, it's spontaneous. It's a perfect hookup spot. Well, the reality check is shower sex is cramped. It's awkward, and unless you've got some luxurious spa bathroom with maybe a seat in it or some kind of shelf that you could easily use. It's not super sexy. You've got temperature wars because one of you is under the water and the other one's not.

Amber: So one of you is cold. The other one's not cold. And if you're both under the water and you're going into a position like doggy style, you are like drowning.

Coralie: I, I want outta this shower. I'm [00:03:00] clean. Get me out. I don't care if there's still shampoo in my head out.

Amber: But doesn't it sound sexy? Come on.

Vicki: Yeah.

Coralie: Yes.

Amber: It's just, it's slippery. You could break something. There's a sexy scene in a movie versus a reality, and I don't know. I've never experienced a sexy scene in a movie.

Vicki: Uh, yeah, I mean, I've had some decent shower sack back in the day, but I just feel like I'm too old for that now. And I do believe in the seat. I think that the seat would be great, but I, I'm not sure that I wanna have penetrative sex in there. I think that's more of a BJ position.

Coralie: that's how I feel too. Like I said to you guys before, showers are for blow jobs. They're not for sex. Like good little makeup, little blow job, everything germaphobe me. Everything's clean. You know, my husband knows if he's in the shower and I get in, he knows. What's happening? I don't be like, let's just get clean. But also too, I mean, I don't [00:04:00] know. I don't know about everyone else's experience, but my husband is a 36 inch inseam. I have a 24 inch inseam. I would die, like, what's he gonna do? Lift me up to get me. Like there's no measuring, there's no, it's not gonna line up ever. Not in a safe way. Maybe if we got those like bars.

Amber: So now we're getting into the seniors bathrooms

Coralie: Right. do you a,

Amber: seat.

Amber: Oh man.

Coralie: oh my

Coralie: God, I gotta write 

Amber: we agree it's over?

Vicki: I personally, yes, I'm on the over hype

Coralie: Overhyped

Coralie: well you know what? That just is perfect because we wanna talk [00:05:00] about the physical comedy of it all because obviously that's where our brains are going. The slipperiness, when you're trying to change positions, knocking all the shampoo bottles over, what if the lids not on right? That's expensive.

Coralie: Sometimes clinging to the towel bars like a gymnast. We a senior and accidentally getting waterboarded. No one wants that. And here's some stats that might freak you out a little, but knowledge is power. Remember, knowledge is Power Bunch Crew. So this is a US stat, but over 235,000 visits happen in the emergency room every year because of, accidents in the bath or showers, slips, trips, falls, all that stuff.

Coralie: 235,000. Visits per year. So it's very common in adults. But honestly, whether you're having sex or just having a shower, everything is riskier when it's wet and slippery. You know, wetter is better most of the time.

Amber: I wonder how many sex sent me to the er are shower,[00:06:00] 

Coralie: yes.

Vicki: Good question.

Coralie: Yeah. Do you guys have any, what the fuck shower stories, because, I mean, I shared mine, it's not really what the fuck it's like. How the frick do you make that happen when you have such a big leg difference? Can I bring my liberator chair in the shower?

Vicki: I think that with a height differential, it's gonna be precarious. But even if there isn't a height differential, I think that, I just think it's dangerous. You're trying to put your foot up on the side, on the lip of the tub, and you're kind of holding yourself in a certain way. The only good position is doggy and someone's going over Yeah,

Amber: Yes.

Vicki: bend. 

Amber: Yes.

Coralie: I do, I have gardening pads on my knees for like when I'm gardening,

Amber: Oh, you're not kneeling. Um,

Coralie: but like if I'm style, my knees are on the

Amber: well, it's half doggy style.

Vicki: Style. So if you're,

Vicki: whoa, whoa. If [00:07:00] you tip toe up and then lean forward and hold

Vicki: on the sides of the, 

Coralie: but you're not like on all four.

Coralie: Okay. I 

Amber: the only problem with this is the, the water's still coming down. It's rolling down your back, your face.

Coralie: Well, I would face the other way. Don't face the.

Vicki: Yeah, it, yeah, yeah. There is nothing good happening. And you know you're leaving that shower, you're exhausted. You've got no energy left. You can barely breathe. And somehow what? You're gonna take that to the bedroom now? No. You know what? Why don't you just finish me off in there. I'll take my own shower.

Vicki: Good to go. That's. I got no room for this.

Vicki: Alright. If you're still with us, let's talk about how you can actually possibly make. Scenario work. If shower sex is an absolute must have for you or a partner, you definitely wanna find out and figure out how to make this work for you. Let's talk about lube. Your [00:08:00] silicone based lube, is probably your best bet. Your water-based lubricant's gonna be rinsed off, so when you're playing in water, you need a good lubricant because again. You are going to be having a lot of water that's present and it'll help to keep it liquified. Toys you can use some waterproof vibrators. Okay, now if we're talking about shower sex or tub sex by ourselves, now we're talking about something completely different. If you're doing this alone, now you

Vicki: have my attention. 

Amber: that's a game changer right there. We just jumped into this going Yeah. With a partner. But wait a minute.

Vicki: Why?

Amber: Yeah.

Vicki: Why I, we, they don't need us in there and we don't need them in there, right? Let me do my thing. Toys, waterproof, vibrators, suction, toys, shower safe wands, things like that. Anything that is water, friendly, shower friendly, take it in with you. Those are actually gonna be some really great orgasms if you've got something that's submersible, in water. Definitely do that as well. You're gonna find that is just super relaxing with the warm water and all the things, but yeah, do it alone. Make it [00:09:00] sexy, but do it

Vicki: alone. 

Coralie: Send them a video.

Vicki: Even if they're in the other room, maybe they're

Vicki: prepping the bed.

Coralie: yeah. Also too, just to add in there, if you have toys at home or you're looking to buy toys, if you look for the IPX seven label, that means that it can be submerged for 30 minutes up to three meters deep. Now, unless you're

Coralie: having sex with Jason Momoa. Don't think you have to worry about being underwater for 30 minutes, but call me crazy. IPX seven anyways. IPX seven, shower friendly.

Amber: But if you're, let's say you're a young mom, maybe you know, you don't get alone time. Maybe sometimes that lock on that bathroom door is the only time you get it and you're gonna go have a shower or you're gonna have a bath, and that's your only time. This might be the sexiest time of your day, week, month, whatever that might look like.

Amber: And it's in your bathroom and there's nothing wrong with that.

Vicki: Absolutely 100%. And if you don't have kids also, okay? Find your moments. Find your moments.

Amber: Make [00:10:00] it romantic. Have a good time.

Vicki: Yeah, totally. I love the idea of like, I'm gonna do this over here. If you have a partner with you, and then be like, you be over there. I'll send you a little preview of what you're gonna get.

Coralie: Yeah. Or if you have like, yeah, or if you have glass shower doors, have them just sit on the other side and watch you. That would be hotter. And you could even, once it gets steamy, you do your like rose from the Titanic, move on it. I know.

Vicki: Right.

Vicki: All right, so let's say we are gonna involve a partner, then we're, this is where we're gonna talk about positioning. That makes sense. So standing doggy where one person is braced, holding onto, the sides, sitting on a shower bench, keeping it light, playful. But don't insist on the finishing move there.

Vicki: That may not be something that our brains and bodies are gonna do simultaneously. So I think that that also needs to be. Just be a little bit of protection. Safety add-ons. You're gonna wanna bath, mat handlebar. If this is a part of [00:11:00] your regular routine, you may want to install some handlebars.

Vicki: Something to keep, make sure that you are safe. But the bars are made for stability, not for hanging upside down. Don't bring your swing in there. That's it.

Coralie: What?

Amber: What, maybe install the swing in there. Now 

Coralie: because you wouldn't slip, you'd be in the.

Vicki: might know.

Amber: You gave them a bath mat. It's fine.

Vicki: can you imagine if there was like a swing in penetration and then they slip and then Oh no. any of, no, I can't.

Amber: Oh my God.

Vicki: I know my brain went all the way. I used to work in an operating room, ladies. All right. There was a time I saw some shit. But realistically, let's, you know, we're gonna keep it short, more like before play piece, and move it to the bed for the main event.

Vicki: I think that is really the big takeaway from this

Vicki: section. 

Amber: have that waterproof blanket throw on your bed, ready to go. Hop out, soaking wet, get to the bed. Oh my [00:12:00] gosh. We just game changer.

Amber: I'm interrupting this episode really quickly to bring you something from our Not Safe for brunch intimacy shot. That is right. I was talking about the blanket, and I have the blanket right here. This is the liberator throw. Okay? So you could get them in multiple sizes. And this is what I was talking about.

Amber: It's waterproof. It is sat inly smooth. So this is like super freaking sexy. Throw this on your bed, whatever size you can get a, king size, a queen, a whatever, whatever you need, okay? Put this on your bed so when you're hopping outta the shower to finish off the job. You're not ruining your bedding.

Amber: And then you could go on about your day. Roll this up. Throw in the, washing machine. It's good to go. Alright, now back to the show.

Vicki: A hundred percent. And if you use a little bit of an oil on that wet body, the slick feeling, the movement of the bodies against each other. Now you have me hot and heavy. I'm,

Coralie: Wait, I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take it up a notch. You're gonna get outta the shower, you're gonna dry each [00:13:00] other off. You're going to put the oil and moisturize each other, make sure everything is good. You're going to, your partner's gonna brush your hair and blow dry it for you, and it's gonna be so sensual.

Coralie: And then you're gonna get into the bed, you.

Vicki: That's way too much prep for me. I love it for you. I don't love it for me. I love it for you so if you wanna have some shower sex and make it feel a little less like a blooper reel, bring in some silicone lube and a toy that won't electrocute you. It's good times,

Vicki: good times. 

Coralie: Speaking of shower toys, this one here, the we vibe Tango X. This is a great shower toy. It is IPX seven designated. So you have all that water stuff I was telling you about, but this handle here, if you're on YouTube, you can see the handle part is silicone and that is going to help you be able to grip it. You not gonna let it go. Great little, great little water toy.

Vicki: Love it.

Coralie: You 

Vicki: I'm a huge fan, of some alone time in the tub. I mean, I just think that your body is just in such a relaxed space and you can really, really create some fun stuff in there.

Amber: All right. We're gonna do a little lightning round [00:14:00] of some of the worst places to have sex. I think we covered it, the shower. 

Vicki: Awkward. 

Amber: not, not a, not a great place.

Amber: Great for foreplay. It's a beach.

Coralie: No, the movies are just doing us dirty. Okay.

Vicki: Yeah. There's nothing sexy about sand in my britches.

Amber: How about the car?

Coralie: I'm down. I'm down. I'm

Vicki: the car.

Coralie: plenty of times. Oh yeah? Mm-hmm. 

Amber: wrong with the car. Airplane. Bathroom.

Coralie: No,

Amber: It's so dirty and smelly in there. Ugh.

Coralie: I, yeah, I mean, the whole mile high club sounds good, but I'd rather just rent a PRI private plane if that was ever in my budget.

Vicki: that's true.

Amber: Fair enough. What about a 10 while camping?

Vicki: Absolutely.

Coralie: Yeah.

Coralie: It's just, 

Amber: Funny 

Coralie: it's, 

Amber: Um.

Coralie: oh, yay. I love funny stories.

Amber: We were road tripping and we had a tent just in case we had to stop and sleep. And we did. And we stopped and slept and it was just this quiet little campground or whatever. And we got in there late.

Amber: And anyways, I guess [00:15:00] we had a good time that night because in the morning the bikers that had were tenting not far from us, had left us breakfast.

Amber: Yeah, we got out to some, eggs, bacon toast, like all the things that were ready to go for breakfast.

Coralie: Oh my God.

Vicki: Yeah. They knew you needed to load up on some

Amber: I, I guess so.

Coralie: I mean, we've done it in a tent. I don't know that we've ever been heard. Maybe, whatever, we haven't tented in such a long time. But,, but I've heard a lot of people having sex in tents. Like when we used to go camping, this one place we went to was packed all the time. Every night almost.

Coralie: You took a walk, someone was doing it, and you, I think some people just forget those. Those aren't walls.

Vicki: Even if you're in a trailer,

Coralie: Yeah, I have, I have a trailer story, but

Amber: What about public pool or hot tub?

Coralie: No

Coralie: dirty. 

Vicki: no. Not even. Yeah. It dirty. But you're gonna get a UTI from those chemicals and I'm not a fan.

Coralie: [00:16:00] Yeah, no., 

Amber: Outdoors

Amber: in the bush, woods, whatever.

Coralie: I mean, if there's not mosquitoes, if it's a, if it looks like a cool place, you know, if it looks like I'm gonna get my ass bitten by a bunch of mosquitoes, no. But yeah. Outdoors, when you feel the breeze on your whole body naked,

Vicki: Percent. Absolutely. 

Coralie: to me. Mm-hmm.

Amber: Parents house or in-laws.

Vicki: Well, I

Vicki: mean, I don't have any of those, but yes, I would of course.

Coralie: I, I have out of. deep need, but don't need to do it regularly. Don't make a habit of it.

Amber: What about couch at a party?

Vicki: Oh, 

Vicki: like, 

Amber: you can just walk in.

Vicki: well. 

Coralie: I had to drink at this party.

Vicki: If it's a closed door, yes. You

Vicki: walk in. That's a you problem. The door was closed.

Amber: But they're, they just walk by to get the chips and dip on the, uh, table beside you.

Coralie: I might be like, excuse me, we're having a moment.

Vicki: [00:17:00] Yeah.

Coralie: Please take the

Amber: So it's not a, it's not a hard No, that's fair. All right. Kitchen counter.

Coralie: What about you, Amber?

Vicki: Yeah.

Amber: I am not doing it when people are just walking in. No, it's not happening. Uh, kitchen counter.

Vicki: Oh yeah. Mm-hmm.

Coralie: Yeah. Um, in fact, we were actually doing a little measurement on Chad's in seam on the counters recently to see if we could make that work. I think it's gonna work.

Amber: Okay.

Coralie: Sorry if you eat at my house.

Vicki: yes.

Amber: All right. one's for Vicki. 'cause we know she has one. What about a balcony?

Vicki: a hundred percent.

Coralie: Yeah. Bend me over the balcony, baby.

Vicki: Yep. No question. No

Vicki: question. Especially a vacation balcony. A hundred percent. Absolutely. Your balcony. Yeah. I mean, you really have to Where I am, it's gotta be dark. 

Vicki: I have a lot of people around me. I'm kind of in an apartment styled area, but I would make that work a hundred percent. Maybe

Amber: Change rooms, store bathrooms.

Coralie: not in a store bathroom, but I would do it in a change room. Absolutely. It's kind of like [00:18:00] on the bucket list, you know?

Vicki: I definitely had hotel, public bathroom, lobby bathroom, sex before.

Amber: Uh, jacuzzi tab. We kind of talked about this, but like more private, maybe in a hotel, whatever in your home.

Vicki: I'm still not sure I'm. I think penetration's a bad idea in, I don't like it.

Coralie: Speaking of bathrooms, I know someone that did it in an outhouse.

Amber: Oh, dear Lord, no, thank you. 

Vicki: I don't think that's for me.

Amber: Like, I don't even like to go into an outhouse, let 

Coralie: No, I don't use outhouses at all. I'll go shit in the woods. I ain't going in that outhouse.

Vicki: Oh no. I'll use it if I have to. 

Coralie: all you want. I'll shit in the woods. I'm not going in and outhouse.

Vicki: Wow, this went sideways.

Amber: The garage,

Coralie: Done it multiple 

Vicki: Oh, absolutely. 

Coralie: I afterwards I'm like, oh shit, we have windows because our top doors, the top

Coralie: of our doors are all windows. I'm like, eh,

Vicki: No, the garage. The garage is just another room that needs to be [00:19:00] christened. That's

Coralie: Yeah, I mean my only hesitation in more outdoor sex is the fear of being online. It's not really the fear of someone seeing me like, shit, you see me? You see like, you know, if we're trying to be discreet and it happens, great. My fear would be someone seeing me recording me, not knowing it and putting it online, which

Coralie: is actually very illegal in Canada.

Coralie: It is a major crime. So don't do it. If you see it happening, you will be in so much freaking trouble. But that is my fear. Even my pool, I would love to just swim around topless. Like I have a pretty private backyard, but if I swam topless, a couple neighbors would be able to see me. And again, you see me, I don't care.

Coralie: You're the one looking, but I don't wanna be on the internet.

Amber: Right? Yep.

Coralie: Mm-hmm.

Amber: All right, so shower sex, fantasy level 10. Reality about a three. Unless you're prepped or maybe alone.

Coralie: Yeah, I feel like that's a high three, but if you do have a hilarious shower fail story, send it our way. We love a good cautionary tale. We will share it anonymously if we do.[00:20:00] 

Vicki: You bet. And if you're ready to brave it again, check out our waterproof faves in the show notes because nothing says romance like silicone, lube, and a bathmat.

Coralie: Woo hoo.

Amber: Thanks for pulling up a seat at the Taboo Talk. Not Safe for Brunch Table. If today's chat made you laugh, think squirm, or all three. Do us a solid like follow and leave a review. It's basically the podcast world's version of a good tip. 

Vicki: Want more juicy, unfiltered conversations? Tap the link in the show notes and sign up for our weekly newsletter.

Vicki: Your VIP pass to what didn't make it on the air. 

Coralie: Brunch isn't just about the bites and bubbles, it's about showing up real raw and ready to talk about what really matters. So until next time, keep it bold, keep it curious, and definitely keep it not safe for brunch.