Episode: 69 - Does the Green Stuff Help Sex… or Hurt It?

Can a little relaxation help your love life… or ruin the mood completely?

In this episode of Taboo Talk: Not Safe for Brunch, we’re diving into the plant everyone whispers about and asking the real questions. Can it help arousal, lower stress, improve connection, and make intimacy better? Or can it leave you distracted, dry, anxious, or asleep before anything starts?

We’re talking dosage, strains, midlife libido, perimenopause, communication, and why no product or substance can fix relationship problems.

If you’ve ever been curious, cautious, or wondering why so many women are experimenting with it now, this episode is for you. 

Transcript

Coralie: [00:00:00] Today we are talking about cannabis and sex, and not in a giggly college dorm sort of way. Not in a, this is gonna fix everything way, but we're gonna talk about what it actually does, why women in midlife are experimenting with it, why it works for some people, why it doesn't work for other people.

So if you're curious, cautious, menopausal, or just fricking tired, lock in this episode's for you.

Vicki: Okay, so let's start with, the big question that everybody's asking. All right, does weed actually improve sex? Well, the short answer is that, sometimes it can, right? The long [00:01:00] answer totally depends on your brain and your body and your relationship and your dosage, right? What can happen to our bodies? First of all, there's some, increased body awareness. Which is kind of cool. You start to really recognize, what feels good. You can kind of put a little hyper focus there. Cannabis can heighten sensory input. Touch feels a little more detailed, slower. You notice things you normally rush past, you just kind of sit in it for a minute. Heightened sensation is something else that you can obviously experience and for some people, orgasms feel stronger, more full bodied, which is kind of cool. And, less goal oriented, more of what the journey.

So that's nice. We love that. Yeah, I love the journey. Time distortion. So five minutes can feel like 20. That's why they always say it takes them so long to come the way they watch that [00:02:00] clock, like it's gonna make a difference. I love that.

Coralie: Because we always say that men last on average, I can't remember if it's four to six or five to seven minutes. So if you wanna extend that.

Vicki: Right. There you go. And then of course reduced anxiety. So that just means it will have some, you know, maybe easier arousal. So if your biggest, libido killer is just, all that mental noise and the dishes and the kids, and the next thing on the calendar, stress and, performance anxiety. Cannabis can sometimes kind of quiet that noise just enough for desire to bubble back up into the surface. So here's the part that people skip. So did you take too much? Maybe. Maybe you're feeling a little numb or you're distracted.

Sleepy, hyper-focused on the ceiling texture. I, yeah. Yeah. And looking up, thinking, we have got to get rid of this popcorn ceiling. Oh my [00:03:00] gosh. And the difference between, the best orgasm of my life and why am I staring at the ceiling is absolutely. Dosage. So if you're zoning out, you might wanna pull that back a little next time. So this is not a more is better kind of situation. So there, this is a microdose and see how your nervous system responds.

And this is kind of like what we talk about when we're talking about lubricants or trying a new toy. We always tell people, you know, do it on your own first. Sort of start slow, build on that. It's the same,

same idea. And that brings us to the real reason why so many midlife women, are experimenting with this in the first place at all.

Coralie: I think also too, on top of dosage, something to look at is the turpentines that are in. Your marijuana. And we're so lucky here in Canada because you can go coast to coast into a store and there's often people there that will teach you about it because for some people this specific thing, might make someone feel high anxiety, [00:04:00] or get some laine and it might chill it out, you know?

So it's really great. We. That we're in 2026. We have a legal environment here in Canada, which gives you the opportunity to learn. You don't have to just grab whatever. Some guy sold you on a street corner and was like, this is good help. There's options. So many options. You can smoke it, you can chew it, you can eat it, you can drink it.

There's options.

Vicki: There are options. I do like the education piece that you get when you walk into a store for sure. I haven't found the magic, dosage or, kind for myself. But, I do love that I can say this is sort of what I'm looking for. But again, it's one of those things, like I said, we, you practice, you start slow, you build on that, you figure it out, you adjust, you modify, like with everything else.

So for a lot of women it's not about, you know, getting crazy, getting wild. It's just about getting their libido back or at least figuring out maybe where it went.

Coralie: It's at the.[00:05:00] 

Vicki: It might be. It might be. I don't, I haven't found mine there yet, but so far mine's been pretty good.

Amber: Well, I mean, let's dive into perimenopause though, like hormone shifting, sleep disruption, anxiety, creeping in. Body changes and then suddenly libido feels kind of optional.

Well, cannabis can maybe help with that depending on who you are. And I know for like myself, pretty much post me to sleep right away. But if you're having sleep disruption, this could be, this could help you for like the

next day. 

Coralie: because it's easier to be aroused when you're not so freaking tired.

Amber: Yes, yes. And what might be happening physiologically is relaxation reduces cortisol, reduced anxiety, allows arousal to initiate. And some research suggests [00:06:00] that cannabis may influence blood flow and sensory perception. So I mean, 

Coralie: I'm just, I wanna be in that study. Like how do you get in that research study? What is the research?

Vicki: You imagine if I felt more you guys.

Coralie: Oh my gosh. I've learned a lot about cortisol over, you know, my own health stuff over the last year and. When our cortisol is high, it's high when we're stressed out. So it's important to like focus on that relaxation and sometimes it's gonna be cannabis that's gonna do that for you.

But when our cortisol is high, that's when we're extra inflamed too. And we do not mean to be inflamed. You guys, it wrecks everything. So lower your cortisol somehow or another, we should do an episode on that. I don't know a lot, I'm still learning, but it's fascinating. Fascinating.

Amber: I mean, here's the important distinction though. 'cause cannabis may support arousal, but it doesn't [00:07:00] manufacture desire out of like thinner. 

Vicki: Right. So like, if you don't like your partner, it's not gonna, it's not. Right. And I shouldn't just say that either, but I mean, if you've got some other chemical things going on, going on, I mean, yeah, of course it's not gonna, it's

not the fix all. 

Amber: yeah, and that's just it, like, right? It could be exhaustion. And here's where the cannabis helps, is, helps you sleep, like I said earlier, hormones. And you may need to go and find out, information on hormone replacement therapy, if you're in that perimenopause, menopause, time in your life. Could be overstimulation, nervous system dysregulation. I mean, it might help lower the noise with the cannabis, but if your libido issue is maybe resentment, like kind of Vicki was kind of imply some emotional disconnection or carrying [00:08:00] that entire mental load. That then becomes a conversation and cannabis or anything else, like an enhancement gel or something is not a miracle tool that's going to just boom, make everything great again. So you definitely wanna have some conversations. 

Vicki: So, yeah. So we can maybe lower the noise, but it cannot fix your partner.

Amber: No it can't. No, it can't. I mean, it can't fix you either. So

like. 

Vicki: no.

Amber: So this is where people get disappointed though. They're looking for substance to do, you know, relational labor. That's not how this works. There is no get rich quick schemes in anything. Relationships, losing weight, whatever. It's just not happening.

Um, so don't think that, you know, cannabis is just going to boom all of a sudden boost your libido and everything's wonderful in the world again.

So

that's not how this works. Which also matters when we talk about [00:09:00] strain differences.

Coralie: Yes. So let's oversimplify on purpose to make sure everyone has a, this is like marijuana basics 1 0 1. Okay. So there's two main strains. One is indica. This one is body heavy. It's a lot slower. More melt into the mattress. These are like your nighttime weeds, you know? , Indica in the couch, okay.

In.

Amber: Maybe I, I've never, okay, so I am not a big cannabis user. I've never have been, and I, anytime I've ever tried it, I just fell asleep. So

Coralie: Maybe, and let me tell you, so Indica being called IND couch. That's long. That's been around forever, but I could never remember what Sativa did. So sativa's, the other strain. And so something that I came up with in my head is 'cause sativa's, like more wakey, sativa. Sativa, everybody. But it's like Speedy Gonzalez [00:10:00] like.

You're gonna be awake doing all the things, and I'll share a little funny story on how these affect you because I don't really dabble that much anymore, but I used to really enjoy it, and, I would have different strains, so I would have sativa for any daytime thing, and then a good indica for before bed.

So one night I was smoking a do and I went to grab, grab my indica, smoked a do. I was about to go to bed in my bathroom, like finish, brush my teeth, whatever. And then an hour later I realized I'd just been organizing my entire jewelry box and I was like, oh shit, the wrong one.

Vicki: you took the wrong one.

Coralie: So it's sativa's really, it, it's, it's more of a giggly one.

It's kind of the one you wanna watch when you're wanna have, when you're like watching a movie or doing more awakey things. It makes you curious, talkative, experimental, and yeah, you could be start like rearranging your bedroom, you know, so it might be [00:11:00] counterintuitive, but yeah, it gotta experiment with both.

And then there's also a hybrid, which is a hybrid between the two. And if you're experimenting with hybrids too, I would say, experiment with what you like best, and especially if you're neurodivergent. You really wanna pay attention because it could hit you differently with different strains.

Like some people, like a 50 50 hybrid. Some people like an 80 20 hybrid. Personally, I'm a 60 40 girl. I like 60% sativa, 40% indica. I'm going for a hybrid. I don't like high sativa doesn't. It makes me rearrange everything and I don't wanna do that. The real question is like, do you want situational chaos?

If not, like figure out your strain and, are you trying to melt or do you want to make bad decisions? So it's one or the other, right?

Vicki: yes.

Coralie: But the deeper layer of all of it is communication. And a lot of people, when they're high, they're gonna feel more open. They're gonna feel less shame and they're gonna be more playful and honest. So you know how sometimes [00:12:00] when you're talking and you wanna say something, but you feel like you're coming across as such a bitch. Like you can't really do that when you're high. Too chill, you know? It can really help with the communication. But again, wrong strain, wrong dosage. You might get really quiet or maybe it's not for you because it's not for everyone.

We're not telling everyone, Hey, go smoke some pot. If it's not for you, that's okay. There's a whole world of things out there that you can experiment with. But you might get quiet, you might start to overthink everything. If you're already someone who ruminates on how a conversation went in the daytime, you really gotta find your strain first.

And loose focus, mid-sentence, that's like permanent menopause. We're just always like, oh shit.

Vicki: I manufacture that.

Coralie: totally. And this all matters because. If you can't talk about sex sober weed isn't going to make you magically poetic about it. You know? So it's really important to have those conversations sober and then continue them if you have a little four 20 in you, so [00:13:00] it might lower your inhibition, but it's not going to build communication skills for you.

It just doesn't work that way. And like we said, it doesn't work for everyone. Some people get anxious, some people completely lose arousal. Some people, experience dry mouth and dry south mouth like it doesn't have to, you're getting dry mouth, you're generally, it's not just your mouth, it's everything that is a soft tissue starts to dry up.

Vicki: Yeah, all

your mucus membranes.

Coralie: Um, and then if you have any trauma triggers, then they could be intensified. So it's all stuff that you really have to watch out for, and pay attention to if you're new. And I know we joked about doing it alone. I don't recommend doing it alone. I have a trusted person. A trusted person with you.

It doesn't even have to be for sex. Like with your bestie, okay, bestie, I've never had a gummy before. Hold my hand. Let's do this together. Have experience together.

Vicki: Yes. When I meant alone, I just meant, please don't be [00:14:00] thinking that you are gonna try some of these things because

you, you heard that this might intensify

or make things more fun or, or increase your communication level. Yeah, I'm just saying. Test drive it. I have an ex-husband once that used to tease me all the time about how I would test, drive everything, and I still do, to this day, I like a test drive because I wanna make sure that the person that I bring to the world the next time is exactly who I,

need her to be. Right.

Coralie: Totally. And if you're someone who, maybe you are regular, you, you've used it consistently enough that you know how your body reacts, but you've never incorporated into the bedroom. Start with masturbation. That's a good, that's a good alone activity. Okay. Or partnered. But really that's a great way, again, if you already kind of know, expect how you're gonna react and stuff, then explore.

Play some drippy music, put on some Pink Floyd. Okay. Light some candles. Get your favorite toy and just have some fun. Because yeah, if you already have anxiety [00:15:00] sensitivity, it can amplify it. , If you struggle with disassociation, cautious, like, we've all had moments without even smoking weed where we're sitting there and then all of a sudden we're thinking about a grocery list.

So that can be amplified. So pay attention. So yes, balance. Be balanced with it. This is a tool, it's not a cure, it's not a personality. Don't make weed your entire personality. It's not a solution. It's just an option and it's a legal option, so why not explore it?

Vicki: Absolutely. I have a couple of friends that, they are friends and they're. Incredibly creative when they smoke weed together, like the stuff they come up with, they were running a business together at one point and it was absolutely phenomenal what they could create in those moments, and I was always very envious of that.

Amber: So if you're curious, start low. Know your body. Have the conversation before you experiment, and remove the pressure for performance. Sex doesn't need to be optimized. It needs to feel [00:16:00] safe, connected, and consensual. , Cannabis might enhance that, or it might make you deeply fascinated by your duvet cover. Either way, know yourself and dose accordingly. Ta.