Episode: 75 - How the Internet Is Teaching Boys to Hate Women

This week we’re diving headfirst into the world of the manosphere after watching Netflix’s Inside the Manosphere documentary with Louis Theroux and honestly… we have thoughts.

From Andrew Tate and red pill culture to incels, pickup artists, and algorithm-driven radicalization, we unpack how online spaces are targeting young boys with messaging disguised as “self-improvement.” We talk about why this content is so effective, how social media algorithms fuel it, and why so many women instantly recognize the rhetoric when they see it.

We also get real about what parents, partners, and even friends can do when someone they care about starts slipping into these toxic online spaces. This conversation isn’t about attacking men. It’s about recognizing manipulation, protecting young people, and creating healthier conversations around masculinity, relationships, and identity.

Because this isn’t just internet drama anymore. It’s shaping real relationships, real beliefs, and an entire generation in real time.

Transcript

Amber 0:00

Why would any woman walk into that room, knowing and listening to the podcast previously, be willing to go and sit in that room and listen to these men degrade them and talk down to them and call them, oh, you're too fat for this, or you're you're too much of a slut.

Coralie 0:15

So Netflix dropped a documentary called Inside the Manosphere on March 11th, and it hit number one almost immediately. I watched it twice because the first time I was really busy yelling at the TV, so I had to watch it again. Louis Thoreau is a British documentarian who walks into uncomfortable rooms full of very, very strange people and just lets them talk. And this time he got inside the manosphere, inside the rooms at the events, sitting across from these influencers who are telling teenage boys they were born without value and they have to earn the right to exist. And Louis absolutely dismantles them, not by arguing or getting loud, but just by asking questions in a calm manner until they just sit there and they fold, trying to explain their own hypocrisy. Is it a perfect documentary? Debatable, but it's a window into something that most of us have been feeling in our bones without having language for. And once you see it, you can't unsee it. This is Taboo Talk, not safe for brunch. I'm Coralie from Vancouver and I love digging deep and asking the questions no one will.

Amber 1:30

I'm Amber from Ontario. I'm blunt, cut through the fluff and get straight to the point. And I'm Vicky from Manitoba.

Coralie 1:37

I'm all about real connection because intimacy starts with trust. Let's get into it. If you've heard the name Andrew Tate and thought, where the heck did this guy come from? Buckle up. Because he didn't fall from the sky. He was built like a Lego man. No offense, Lego, sorry. He was built slowly. He was built over decades. And everyone was just kind of looking the other way, like not thinking it was that big of a deal. So the Manosphere isn't like this movement. It's an ecosystem that has evolved over time, like ecosystems do. Here's some of the kind of history behind it. The men's rights movement goes back to the 70s, which was a backlash to feminism that never really went away. It just sort of went underground. In the 90s, they had a group called Promise Keepers or Iron John. It was this men's movement where grown men were in stadiums beating drums and crying about their dads, which no shame on that. We all need to cry about our dads sometimes. But it just sounds really absurd. And it was tapping into something that was really real, which is how do men identify themselves in this culture that can be so confusing? When we get to the early 2000s, there was this whole pickup artist culture that exploded. There's a book called The Game. There were entire forums designated to negging women into bed. It was gross, but it also became weirdly mainstream. Mid-2000s to 2010s, the pickup artist bled into the red pill, which was named after the red pill in the matrix. Men going their own way, which you might have seen on the internet. It just is M G T O W. And if you didn't know what that meant, it is all related to this. Involuntary celibates or incels. You've probably heard that word a lot. A lot of people like I didn't know what that meant for a long time to Google it. What is an incel? And it is someone who isn't having sex, but not by choice. It's because no one wants to have sex with them. Probably because they're acting in this sort of manner. And every time there's a new subgroup, it is more bitter and more awful than the last one. Then we end up in the now times where we have an algorithm. And the algorithm delivers, you know, especially shit like this. And the common pattern through all of it is male grievances looking for a home. These aren't weirdos in fringe isolation groups. They're in there building infrastructure, they're building forums, subreddits, YouTube channels, podcasts. This whole media ecosystem, while we're just trying to live our lives, empower women, get to the next phase in society where we're all equal. And there's these guys here just putting a kibosh on all of it.

Vicki 4:32

Sometimes we can see this in our comment section. Oh, for sure. It's very glaring when it occurs. It's frightening and interesting all at the same time for me. And I you just recognize it. You it's so immediately recognizable. We're sitting here on this podcast and we're talking about men and women and everybody within the sex ecosystem. Let's even talk about the within that relationship ecosystem. And we are empathetic to how that all unfolds from both sides and both partners. And how do we support that? And how does, and then we immediately receive all kinds of cutting comments that are just trying to dismantle us so that our message is dismantled.

Coralie 5:23

That's what we're talking about right now. Absolutely. And you can see it's insecurity when it happens and it's ego and it's so childish. I can't imagine how miserable of a person you have to be to go and make some of the comments that I have read on our podcast episodes. Absolutely. And you know what? They've monetized us here on YouTube. So they're actually more as annoying as they are more helpful because that's the sort of stuff that gets us pushed out more, right? So it's kind of like how it's working inside the manosphere where you're saying things that are controversial, which calling us a stupid bitch is controversial. All of a sudden, more people are seeing these three stupid bitches. So here we are. Hi, here we are. Here to serve. So we've gone over the history, the roots, and now here's the part that we really need to think about because this should keep you up at night. And that is how is this getting into kids? Because that's their target audience is kids. How a 13-year-old boy searches YouTube for how to be more confident and three months later talks about how all women are gold diggers.

Vicki 6:39

That part. Nobody sits their kid down and says, Hey, want to join a movement that blames women for everything. So they make it desirable and catchy enough to, you know, kind of jump into the realm.

Amber 6:53

Well, and I think it's wild, and I know, you know, the algorithm, right? So with the algorithm, the way it's designed, I never once in my life come across any of this until Corley said, Hey, you gotta go watch this manosphere. Right. And then I'm like, whoa, like I watched this and I was angry and frustrated, and I was like, What the hell is going on? The algorithm is good in a way, but also really freaking bad in a way, right? I seen I also kind of going into the algorithm, I saw a woman talking about her husband. Her husband's like, I don't know why you like TikTok so much. She's just like, What do you mean? And he goes, Well, it's all like women and big boobs and blah blah blah. And she's like, Not mine, mine's dogs, funny babies, like yeah, yeah, yeah, it's your algo friend. It's very what it's pushing to our children, right?

Vicki 7:53

Correct, yeah, and you're right, that funnel, it's it's real, and it's designed purposefully, right? So it starts with benign content, like you said, gym videos, self-improvement, hustle culture, whatever that looks like. We have Sigma male content, alpha versus beta, sort of framing that conversation, and it makes boys feel like there's a secret hierarchy and that they can climb it, they can reach it, they've got some place to go with it. But that'll fold in some, you know, relationship advice that really is just rooted in resentment with the with a little bit of an undertone of anger.

Amber 8:29

It was it was interesting. So when Louis went in and did started these interviews, he started talking to people who were like following them around on the street, like you know, and they were like, people that were following them around on the street were like they they idolized this person and they wanted to be like this person. And he's like, So, you know, how long have you been doing this? Well, what like they're not any further up the food chain, even though they're doing all the things he's telling them to do.

Vicki 8:57

Yeah, they're just minions. What? Yeah, well, and that falls into that red pill ideology, right? Women are manipulative, feminism's destroyed society. You've been lied to your whole life as a young man. Each step just feels like revelation and not radicalization, even though that's what it is.

Coralie 9:19

So why is it even though that's what it is, it's radicalizing these kids, right? Yeah, when they're young and impressionable and right, which is why it works, right?

Vicki 9:32

Boys are lonely and lost. I mean, all most young people are, let's be real, and we don't talk about it enough. And we talk we've talked on this podcast before about men and how their friendships are just framed differently, and it's not the same as us, where we really dive into conversation with one another when we need support. They don't have that. So traditional masculinity scripts kind of got ripped away without anything replacing them, and they've got no place to go with their questions uh unless they fall into this category of content, and that can take them down a pretty deep rabbit hole.

Coralie 10:07

I thought it was interesting too because a lot of these guys, I mean, I'm pretty sure we're talking about this, but they didn't even stand up to their own standards and values, as you saw by the end of it, the way that some of them were, you know, the one guy couldn't really afford that $20 million condo, and just it's all just a facade.

Vicki 10:28

Yeah, right. Right. Well, we always know that posturing is a thing, and mostly not for women. Right. Um, so the manosphere it offers community for young people, especially, and that's who they're targeting, identity, a clear villain, a sense of superiority, and that's pretty intoxicating, especially for an insecure uh young person, yeah, or insecure young man. So that's a thing.

Amber 11:00

Well, and they're monetizing on these communities because they're selling like programs, and you're paying for these guys to be able to live in these fancy houses and drive these fancy cars and show you these fancy things. Yeah. Are you are anybody is anybody else getting there?

Coralie 11:19

Right.

Amber 11:21

Talk about pyramid scheme in the making or already done. Right. Just like it is. Yeah.

Vicki 11:28

Yeah. There's a buy-in for sure. Okay, so let's talk about some of these content creators who built empires on this. And I'm gonna disclaimer this because I don't want to, I don't want to praise or even put a spotlight on these people because I think that it's just not where I live. I'm just not, but I really I think we need to mention it. So um Andrew Tate.

Coralie 11:55

Yeah, oh, I was just gonna say that I think that, you know, if you heard the name Andrew Tate and you weren't aware, you might just think, oh, this is just some MMA guy, right? So I think it's important that we are showing like who these guys are that are influencing the young younger generation so that we can do our best to block their influence as much as possible. Yeah, agreed.

Vicki 12:14

So, like you said, Andrew Tate, he's a kickboxer, and he's been arrested and uh still more famous than ever. No one's canceled him yet, right? Right? Uh, Jordan Peterson, he's kind of a gateway drug for a lot of guys, he's a little more academic, but the same resentment sort of infrastructure that kind of is underlining. And I had somebody send me a Jordan Peterson blip one time, and they seemed pretty interested and sort of proud of the perspective. And I remember how quickly it changed my perspective of them.

Coralie 12:45

What's different about Jordan Peterson is yeah, he's very, he's a I want to say he has his doctorate, he's Canadian, he's very well respected. And even when he first came out, I liked him at first because I thought, oh my God, how refreshing for men to get someone that they can have personal development from. Because there's mostly women creators out there that are offering that. And it didn't take very long before I was like, wait a minute, what this guy isn't what I thought he was.

Vicki 13:14

Yeah, yeah, it was kind of like a sleek, a sneaky slab.

Coralie 13:17

Exactly. And it's because it's wrapped up in that, like, you know, he's uh I want to say he's a psychiatrist, and so he has a lot of education, but he says a lot of uneducated things, right?

Vicki 13:28

And just good articulation doesn't equal good information, right? Yeah, fresh and fit, sneeko, and a whole ecosystem of smaller creators are doing the same thing, just with less notoriety. It doesn't have to be big names that you see everywhere, but there is an entire underlying society. And what they're actually selling isn't masculinity, it's a product, supplements, courses, memberships, merch. The ideology is the marketing specifically. The not all men trap, how the messaging is deliberately crafted to feel like self-improvement so men can defend it. And then women sound like we're just hysterical for criticizing it. It's bananas.

Amber 14:08

We're always called hysterical for fucking saying shit and speaking our minds. I know, right? Well, for being communicators, you know, for wanting to grow together. Let's let's create these vibrators to get rid of hysteria.

Vicki 14:21

I just think that men in general, especially young men, as they're growing into who they are going to be. I think they're so impressionable. And I think with the right examples, we probably have all encountered young men and mature men that are sort of experiencing the same rhetoric. And I think it is a little bit dangerous. And I think a little bit is some of it as they grow, is maybe some of their own personal experience that they're bringing into the game to kind of play out. And I think it's also really important to remember that just as all women are not created equal, all men are also not created equal. We just have to we have to mine the good people, and we have to just recognize who we want to align ourselves with. And I think that is for me, that's my personal takeaway about all of this. So, what often can happen for people is that they don't think that they've joined something, they don't think that they've become a part of a movement, they just think that they've just woken up and uh and I don't and that's how aren't that that's how culture started. That is how culture started. Yeah, right? All right, so now we're sufficiently informed, low-key horrifying, because it's it's frightening a little. But here's the thing about our generation specifically, we didn't just watch culture shift, we lived it, and we dated through it for sure. We've all known someone close enough in our lives. Um, we've raised kids inside of it sometimes, which means that we might actually be the most qualified people in the room to talk about what comes next.

Amber 15:48

So we're not gonna let this episode end with you know, raise good boys and call it a day. Right. It's just that's not practical. So I mean, you deserve better than that. So do the boys. But first, we gotta name it. You can't counter what you can't identify. So at the beginning, we talked about the red pill, Mg O W, incel, the black pill. But these are languages that you want to catch early. So whether it be in a partner, a son, a coworker, if you catch these, you definitely I feel like you want to open up that conversation.

Vicki 16:29

And I think how you approach that conversation with a partner, a son, a coworker, whoever that looks like, it really has to come from a place of tell me more about that. Where did you learn that? What does that mean to you? Because again, that thought process is very much about you people are gonna come at you like this and you have to put them down. So, as opposed to asking a lot of questions, doing a lot of labeling and mirroring and really uh actively listening in that conversation, I think that's gonna be really important if you decide that you're gonna go head first.

Amber 17:01

Yeah, like you don't wanna be mocking them or shaming them when you're opening up this conversation. That's just going to make it even worse.

Coralie 17:08

Absolutely. Anything that puts people on the defense. And we might have said some things in some ways this episode, I might have that might put you on the defense. And I apologize if that's the case. I just get so passionate about the shit.

Amber 17:24

Right? I mean, and pretending that it's not serious because it is, and the data on the radicalization bears that out. This is wild. I if you haven't watched the documentary, you gotta go watch it. It just baffled me. And just some of the things that came out of these men's mouths, even to the journalist, the reporter, he pulled up in a car and the guy goes, Is that what you're driving? That's not successful. You guys, Louis's net worth is $1.2 million. I'm pretty sure he's successful. You know? So, anyways, I'm just I guess so you gotta watch it. Yeah. Now, what does work? Counter-content creators, there are men online that actively are doing deprogramming work. So seek them out, share them with the young men in your life. And I think that if we can swap out that message and get them into that algorithm, that can make a huge difference.

Vicki 18:30

Every time you walk past your son's phone, just be like healthy relationships.

Amber 18:39

It's plugged in. Women are eating searching. Because there are real male communities and men who have genuine friendships and purpose and belonging that don't need a podcast to tell them that women are the enemy. What did you think of that podcast and those women that were sitting there? Why would any woman walk into that room, knowing and listening to the podcast previously, be willing to go and sit in that room and listen to these men, degrade them and talk down to them and call them, oh, you're too fat for this, or you're you're too much of a slut. Get out of here. And then kick them out. I know.

Coralie 19:21

Why would my husband and I had a conversation about that because he was wondering too, and my thought behind it all is women have been raised to think that being chosen by a man is the number one, right? That's why we have the term pick me's. You know, pick me. I'm different than the other girls. Pick me. I'm cool with shit that other girls wouldn't be cool with. First of all, I think they're really young. I don't think they realize how they're being manipulated. I was happy to see that the one gal broke up with her boyfriend, the podcaster. Right. I actually went and found her on TikTok. I just want to make sure she was doing okay. She seems to be doing okay. But yeah, I think you know, they're victims to the patriarchy too. It's all the patriarchy. I wonder what their role models were like growing up. Right.

Vicki 20:09

Right. I was gonna that was what I was gonna say. What does their history look like? Because I think that is going to be telling.

Coralie 20:15

Yeah, for sure. And they're all incredibly young, you know. I think the gal that broke up with her boyfriend, she didn't seem like she's young, don't get me wrong, but not like young, young, like the other, like a lot of the other ones were, you know. I think that there's something to be said for making decisions before your prefrontal cortex has developed fully.

Vicki 20:37

A hundred percent.

Coralie 20:38

Yeah.

Vicki 20:38

And I also think that people who have this thought process, they can be very carefully quiet about their misogyny and the way they deliver it and how they can create like an intoxic environment around it that pull people in. It's a whole thing, and it absolutely falls under an abusive umbrella. But I do think that that's that has to be a part of it. The charisma behind it, there, there's something that's pulling people towards it.

Coralie 21:08

And that's a really good point because a lot of these guys are very charismatic, you know, and it would be so nice if they would use their powers for good, not evil. They would feel better about themselves, they would probably have way better sex, and they would probably make more money, really, to be honest, right? Because that's what the world needs is guys like that that are counter culture to the manosphere.

Amber 21:31

Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's really important to talk to boys early before the algorithm gets them. Absolutely. About emotions, identity, and about what strength actually looks like. Yeah.

Coralie 21:44

And pay attention to the men in their life. Like, what are how do their coaches talk? How do their male features talk? You know, you don't know who's influencing your kid. Right.

Vicki 21:55

Right. Yeah. You only get them for such a small portion of the day. You know, I always said, When I was raising my kids, I just need to build good humans. This is my job. I don't care about anything else. I need them to walk out of this home one day and be good human beings. And that was my only job. That was my only job. Not how can I impress my thoughts, feelings, experiences on them, but to really open that up so they could see what it feels like to be supported and cared for so that they didn't have to seek that out from a group of radicalized human beings.

Coralie 22:30

Yeah. Teaching them how to be critical thinkers to recognize, you know, a farce when they see it.

Vicki 22:36

Have you seen those TikTok TikToks and reels that have been out where it says uh normalize? No thanks, bro. We don't need to hang out, you're cheating on your wife.

Amber 22:46

No, have you seen that? No. Yeah.

Vicki 22:50

Algorithms are all different. Totally. And I I loved it. It was just like how it normalized men standing up for other people, just saying, No, we're not hanging out with you, bro. Like you do cocaine, or no, I love that. I want that on my algorithm. You cheat on your well, now you will. Yeah. So we get it on.

Coralie 23:10

Yeah, I have seen some cheating because there was this lineman that went to a lineman rodeo with a mic somewhere, and someone was like, My friend found her soulmate, and her soulmates, and then like and this is why the internet is so good, you know? Like, yeah, how many people got away with shit like that and still do because of there was no internet or they're just not on the internet? I mean, look at the cold play people. Don't do anything, don't do anything you wouldn't want online, right? Totally.

Amber 23:42

Yeah, and I mean, that's where like the Gen X and the millennial women have advantage. We remember before we watched Boys Will Be Boys become it's a joke, become it's just a meme, become full ideology.

Coralie 23:59

It always starts with a joke, right?

Amber 24:01

It does a joke, it's always sensitive, yeah. Yeah, so I mean, we're not confused about how this happened, we're just watching it happen. And I think clarity is power, yeah.

Vicki 24:11

Yeah, we're watching it happen in real time, like right? Yeah, I agree, and I think that some of us are immersed in you know, different experiences where we are around a greater demographic of men. And if you work in a male-dominated scenario and you hear a lot of things, and sometimes women are quiet and they just sort of sit back. I'm that person, I will inhale it all. Wait, I will inhale it all first, and then I will I like to recognize, you know, I'm gonna keep my enemies closer, kind of girl. You know, so and then I have a friend who, yeah, don't even try it. She'll take you down. Like, you won't survive, you know? So it's just kind of an interesting balance of personalities where I'll stand off and look, watch, pay attention before I strike kind of thing. Whereas some women are immediate strikers, you know. I just think it's interesting.

Amber 25:12

Here's what I keep coming back to. We are not confused about how this happened. We've watched it happen in real time from boys will be boys to pick up artists on VH1 to Andrew Tate selling courses from Dubai. We have the receipts, and that's not nothing. That's actually a superpower. The women who are most dangerous to this movement are the ones who can name it. So name it in your relationships with your kids at the dinner table, in your group chats. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. And we have been in the dark on this way too long. Thanks for filling up a seat at the taboo talk, not safe for brunch table. If today's episode made you laugh, think, or squirm a little, do us a solid follow rate and leave a review. It's the podcast version of a good tip.

Vicki 26:04

While we're unfiltered conversations, hit the link in the show notes and sign up for our weekly newsletter. It's the stuff that didn't make it on the air.

Coralie 26:12

Until next time, keep it bold, keep it curious, and definitely keep it not safe for brunch.