Episode: 89 - HIV Isn’t a Thing of the Past: Why Testing and Awareness Still Matter

HIV isn’t just a health issue from the past. In this episode of Taboo Talk: Not Safe for Brunch, Vicki, Amber and Coralie discuss rising HIV diagnoses in Manitoba, common misconceptions about who is at risk, STI testing, condom use, dating, stigma and why open sexual-health conversations still matter.

They also look at how HIV treatment has changed, including U=U — Undetectable = Untransmittable — and why getting tested is about information, not judgment.

For Canadian HIV information and resources, visit CATIE.ca or the Public Health Agency of Canada.

This episode is for general education and awareness and is not a substitute for medical advice.

Transcript

Vicki 0:00

When most people hear HIV, they think of something that happened decades ago. But what if I told you that Manitoba now has one of the highest HIV diagnosis rates in Canada? And that the people being diagnosed are often in their 30s and their 40s, right in the middle of their careers, their relationships, and their family lives. Those rates are not meant to scare anyone. They're meant to remind us that HIV isn't somebody else's issue. It's happening here, which raises an important question. Why are so many people still surprised by these numbers?

Coralie 0:40

This is Taboo Talk, not safe for brunch. I'm Coralie from Vancouver, and I love digging deep and asking the questions no one will.

Amber 0:46

I'm Amber from Ontario. I'm blunt. Cut through the fluff and get straight to the point. And I'm Vicky from Manitoba.

Vicki 0:53

I'm all about real connection because intimacy starts with trust. Let's get into it. Many people assume HIV is a problem that was solved years ago. The reality is far more complicated than that. Manitoba reported 328 new HIV diagnosis in 2025 compared to 90 in 2019. Wow. That's a huge jump. Yeah. Try being single in this mess. Manitoba's diagnosis rate is now amongst the highest in Canada, and the median age of people entering HIV care is 34 years old, you guys. Wild. Most women diagnosed are under 40, most men diagnosed are under 45. Heterosexual sex and injection drug use remain the most commonly reported modes of transmission amongst people entering care right now. And HIV is not limited to one demographic, one age group, or one relationship status at all.

Amber 1:54

Wow, that just gives me chills. And I know, like I went and looked up Ontario because I was curious. And um, we're not as obviously as high as Manitoba. You guys are high. You're I believe in a state of emergency on that topic. We are, but in Ontario, we've also increased quite a bit in 2023. Ontario reported 938 first-time HIV diagnosis up from 623. Now our population is huge, right? And basically, we've gone from 3.9 people per 100,000 to six people per 100,000. So we're almost doubled, right? And Etoba's sitting at 19. That's wild.

Coralie 2:42

19 per 100,000? Correct. Wow. Says BCs is 3.3 per 100,000.

Vicki 2:50

So I don't know if there's a link to um uh, you know, uh quality jobs, uh, homelessness, if there's I I don't know what that looks like. I don't know what those demographics are that are in their 30s and 40s, but I still think it's reasonable enough to uh well, 19 per 100,000 is is concerning. And I think that um Manitoba was right in putting us in a state of emergency, and we've got to figure out how how do we get people using condoms and doing SDI testing. How do we how do we do that? Let's talk about that part.

Amber 3:29

Yeah, because I mean, I feel like so many people they think HIV they go back to gay sex. That's right, because that's what was oh my gosh, yeah. It didn't blew up then, right?

Coralie 3:41

For sure. Well, that was also really discriminatory. That's why it got pushed under the rug for so long, because they're like, oh, it's just it's just gay people, like who gives a shit, you know? And um, if it wasn't for, you know, a lot of the celebrities like Rock Hudson, um Freddie Mercury, you know, that and even though those are gay men, but still they were beloved gay men. And I don't even think Rock Hudson was out when he died in the 80s. I don't remember. Yeah, but um, yeah, they didn't really, you know, they had evidence of it in the late 70s, I believe, in New York, and it wasn't until like the late 80s when they started putting a lot more research and and emphasis on it. I think it wasn't even until the mid-90s when they came out with the meds so that your HIV doesn't progress to AIDS because there's people who actually live right long lives now, right?

Vicki 4:35

And people in our age group, that's what we remember. We remember the 80s and the 90s when that was, you know, so prevalent and scary and and heartbreaking, right? I mean, the visuals were insane. I'm wondering if we think that maybe sexual health conversations have improved since we were younger. I mean, I think that certainly they have. We've we've received all kinds of information from all kinds of modalities and and platforms. So we're lucky that people are talking about it more, but are people moving in the right direction around it? This suggests that there are certain uh demographics that are not maybe.

Coralie 5:11

I have to wonder, too, if because they now have the meds where it does stop it from transitioning to full-blown AIDS, if they're not taking it as seriously, right? Because, oh, you can just take this med and you're gonna be fine. But you literally are a walking weapon, right?

Vicki 5:28

So part of the challenge is, of course, that many of us are still working from information that we learned forever ago, right? Decades ago. And when people believe HIV couldn't affect them, right? They often overlook one of the simple tools that we have, which is testing, of course.

Coralie 5:42

Yeah. And the biggest obstacle to HIV awareness might not be the virus itself, but it could be a lot of the outdated information that is still carried around. So, um, you know, like we just said, it can affect everyone. It's not just a one demographic. It can be all ages, gender, sexual orientation, relationship structures. I even remember too, back in the 80s, I did a report on this on a kid named Ryan White when I was in grade eight, and he developed AIDS because he had hemophilia and he got a blood transfusion. He was like my age, like maybe a year or two older. So, and I just remember it. I did a report on him. And um there's a a little kid, little kid, they did so it's it's anyone, it's anyone, you know. Thank God they um test all the blood now, right? Before putting it out. People can live for years with HIV without having any noticeable symptoms. I think when people were getting diagnosed before, it's because it had transitioned into AIDS, and then you do have the noticeable symptoms, right? Feeling healthy doesn't always mean there isn't an infection present, whether it's HIV or something else. I mean, we all have stories where like, oh, I thought it was fine. Oh, I almost died. You know, like oh, it wasn't it wasn't menstrual crabs, yeah. So um, you know, feeling healthy doesn't really mean anything. Testing provides information, not judgment. You know, judgment doesn't yeah, just get tested. I feel like I would be more judgmental if people didn't get tested.

Amber 7:12

Absolutely, especially if you're single or have an open relationship, you should be actively getting tested on a regular basis.

Coralie 7:21

Absolutely, and especially too, because a lot of the people who are diagnosed never even thought they were at risk. Right. Right, right.

Vicki 7:28

They didn't think they were in that level. I think that it's very interesting that a lot of people don't consider the fact that if we sleep together without a barrier method, that means that I'm sleeping with everyone that you have slept with without a barrier method, and you are sleeping with everyone that I have slept with without a barrier method. So why are we not barrier method?

Amber 7:50

No, here's a question for the single lady condoms and other options. Are you finding that people you're connecting with are like not wanting to use them?

Vicki 8:01

Absolutely, absolutely. It is the chief complaint of every man that I have run into. I don't like them. I don't like them.

Coralie 8:13

I mean, it's it's risky, yeah. I mean, I I get it, yes, the feeling of a condom tugging on your pubic hair is fucking awful, but you know it's worth death.

Vicki 8:24

Yep, yes, yeah, or the herp or uh or or any of it. Like I just I'm also noting that a lot of men don't care about your previous history, which I also find super interesting. And I don't know if this is this age demographic, you know, 40 to 50s that I um that I typically date in, but it's it's an interesting uh fact. And uh the the stats definitely show that men are are are not particularly concerned. Yeah, um, and it's refreshing when you find one who's just like, yeah, I don't like them, but this is what we have to do right now. And it's like that makes me not early.

Coralie 9:12

Responsibility is sexy, yeah. Yeah. So here's some facts. Um, one that we already stated, HIV can remain asymptomatic for years. So that means if you had it, if you got it and you didn't know for 10 years, how many people are you potentially transferring that onto? Early diagnosis allows people to access treatments sooner and significantly improve their long-term outcomes, and obviously, you know, helps prevent it from going further. And routine testing is one of the most effective public health tools. So don't forget to get tested. Everyone's got to get tested. Yeah. Yep. Agreed. Have you guys heard any misconceptions about who needs testing?

Vicki 9:58

I don't know about any misconceptions specifically, but I think that a lot of people are afraid of being judged. I think they're afraid of going into their doctors. Um, I think they're afraid of walking into a walk-in clinic. Ladies, when you go to a walk-in clinic and you go to the front and you say, I'd like to see a doctor today, the first thing they ask you is, what's the concern? I fucking hate that question. Yes, because you're standing in a public waiting room saying, I would like an STI panel, please. And then you're looking back and sitting down, and everyone knows exactly what you're there for. So um I'm a firm believer of saying I'm here for a UTI. And then when I get into that doctor's office, I know I'm gonna pee in a cup anyway. So um I'm just gonna tell you in the room. But again, not everyone is gonna feel safe and comfortable to do that. So I think that also accessing some of the sexual health clinics in your areas, those can be really useful because of the fact that they're readily available, they're discreet, they know exactly why you're there, you know. Yeah. Um, so misconceptions, no, but I believe that those are some things that are concerning for sure. And I think that we can do better as a medical community.

Coralie 11:12

Totally. One of the great things, um, when you go, if you get an HIV test, or when, because everyone should have one, um, at least at one point in their life, um, you don't need a PAP. It's a blood draw. Yeah, you don't need a PAP. I'd rather get an HIV test, to be honest, not to go for a PA.

Vicki 11:35

Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, there's and lots of people have to, I mean, if you work in the medical medical community, Lord knows most of us have been stuck once or twice by accident. You know what I mean? Like you've had a needle stick and then you have to be followed and la la la la la. Like it's just kind of a part of the thing. I mean, not that that's like a regular occurrence, but just that it happens, right? So you think about situations like that where we have to continue that testing. And so why should this be any different if you are changing partners, if you have had unprotected sex, um, if you have symptoms, if you don't have symptoms and you're just concerned, I think it's really, really important that you make sure that you're having your STI, your HIV, whatever that looks like, tested, get those tests done to make sure that you can feel confident moving on, moving forward.

Coralie 12:28

Even too, like if you've say you've been in a monogamous relationship for the last 10 years, but say you had a crazy year before that, if neither if you both entered that and you didn't get tested, you don't know what's laying dormant. You don't know what's sitting there. So, do you think there's still stigma around it that affects sexual health conversations amongst people in general or couples?

Amber 12:49

I think that there will always be a stigma around it. I don't think that that's ever gonna go away. It's like anything taboo.

Vicki 12:55

No, I'm super appreciative of an open conversation around it to say, I don't know where you've been, you don't know where I've been, I'm not just pointing fingers, right? If we're going to be in this relationship and we are going to prioritize this relationship, then part of that starts with, okay, if we don't want to use a barrier method, then we need to be tested.

Amber 13:16

Um, and I think that if the other person is going to be defensive and the act in a childish way in any way, shape, or form, that's a good indication right there to be like, I'm out.

Vicki 13:29

Yeah.

Amber 13:29

Bye.

Vicki 13:30

I'm out. Yeah. If you don't want to get tested, I'm out. Period. Like as if getting laid is difficult. It's not I'm just saying, like, I think that we get so hung up on the emotions of a relationship or being in something new, and da-da-da. And it's so easy to sort of whatever, you know. And I mean, and I'm guilty of it. I'm guilty of the, oh my god, maybe we should just, yeah, maybe we should, and then and then had somebody course correct me and be like, no, no, no, no, no, we agreed on this. This is we're not doing that. But you get in the moment, and I can see how accidents and mistakes happen, and la la la. Like, I mean, we're human beings. So I think that, you know, everybody gets wrapped up in the moment of it. So I think it's just important to come into it knowing exactly what your expectations are and being with somebody who is in an equal place with you on that. Yeah.

Coralie 14:28

Well, the good news is that the story doesn't end with a diagnosis. In fact, modern HIV treatment has changed so dramatically that people would be shocked at what the reality looks like today. I know we touched on it a little bit, but let's dive in.

Amber 14:41

Yeah, if your understanding of uh HIV comes from health class in the 90s, it's time for an update. Big deal. Because modern HIV treatment has transformed outcomes. Um, people diagnosed early can live long, healthy lives, and undetectable equals untransmittable.

Vicki 15:05

Interesting.

Amber 15:07

Yeah. Like I just feel like, and so many people do this about their health if they just sweep it under the rug, and if I don't know, it won't be there. Right. You know, like if you catch this early, if something happens, you did contract it, if you catch this early, you you now have a handle on it and you could live a long, healthy life.

Vicki 15:33

Yes. Why wouldn't you want that? Right. I think that because people in general are so much happier living in oblivion, and then that is so risky because while you live in oblivion, you take other people into your oblivion, and that's so dangerous. But that personal responsibility piece, you've really and again, it requires you to have a really good conversation with yourself and a really good conversation with somebody else. Yeah. And we talk about the communication piece all the time. People are so uncertain, and people don't have conversations because they are afraid of how it's going to be received and what the response will be. If I never talked about the things that are important to me because I was afraid of what the response would be, I couldn't be with that person. Hell, I got divorced because of that. I was consistently afraid of if I ask for this in this relationship, what the all the response is going to be da-da-da-da-da-da. I can't. Never mind, I won't. Right? Like that's just it's so frightening, but that is the truth.

Amber 16:39

So testing is where all of this starts. People can't access treatment if they don't know that they need it. And I think Vicky is planning on going and giving us a breakdown on how the whole process is.

Vicki 16:54

And I can't wait. Once again, here I am. Take a moment for the team. You are so boots on the ground journalism. Boots on the ground journalism. That's who I am, that's for sure. So I am definitely going to uh hit the ground. Actually, I was hoping to get that done before this uh recording. Unfortunately, I could not get in because my doctor, their office, did not ask me pertinent questions, such as, um, do you have current symptoms? Or are you just wanting a panel? And I, and so they just said, Yeah, we don't have room for you. We can maybe take you next week. You can call in on an off day and see if you can get in. And I was just like, what if I had symptoms today? Nobody asked. I contacted one of our sexual health clinics, one of our community clinics here, because I thought, I'm gonna go somewhere that I can report back and I can say in our community here in Winnipeg, this is available for everyone to go. And I'm gonna experience this from that perspective, and I'm gonna bring it back to you, and we're gonna do how we'll do I'll do a little quickie on it, I promise. So I think that again, we talked about how many people are avoiding testing just because they don't know what to expect. And that gives me an opportunity to show you guys um sort of what that looks like. So I will tell you starting from now, the phone call was easy, it was simple, she was friendly, she was lovely. All she asked for was my name, my phone number, everything else I'll fill in when I get there. And she asked me if I had current symptoms or if I just was looking for a fresh panel. And I so appreciated that because I think that that's a really important piece of the conversation. Are you in trouble right now? How quickly do I need to get you in? Or do I need to instruct you further until such time as we get this testing done for you? So, anyway, so I thought that was really cool. So I was just like, no, no, no, just a panel. And uh she was like, great. So I'm strangely excited about getting the right word. What interested? Yeah, I don't know. So I've always gone to my doctor, I've never gone to a public clinic. So um that so yeah, so I'm just excited to share it with you guys.

Amber 19:08

Yeah, because why not? That's what I do. What usually is included in STI testing, um, they test for HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis B and C in some situations, and additional testing based on symptoms and risk factors. So that's a really good question for them to ask you because if you had symptoms that weren't any of these, they didn't fit in those boxes, then they they need to know so they could test for those two. Right, right, exactly.

Vicki 19:36

So, like I said, it was an easy conversation. Now, there are some misconceptions about STI testing. Um, like I'd know if I had one. Yeah. No, you wouldn't. Definitely misconception.

Amber 19:49

No, you wouldn't. Yeah. Um people with lots of partners.

Vicki 19:55

Right. Also, no, that's not true. You could have one partner, but they've done some things. You know me? Yeah, you don't know. Um, I'm too old to worry about STIs. I will tell you, I used to work in elder care. Um, it is prevalent everywhere.

Amber 20:13

Yeah. And I mean, Coralie, you did a presentation in a senior's uh residence.

Coralie 20:19

Yeah, I did. Um, and yeah, the the problem is that as we get older, we think these things are just for the young kids, you know. And so then your um your uh guard goes down. So you're not you're not concerned about it, you're not worried about condoms because you're not gonna get pregnant when really pregnancy would be a delight compared to some of the things that you can get. True. A lot of the assisted living, you know, senior facilities, they have a much higher sti rate than the general population.

Vicki 20:53

Yeah, yeah, because it's contained and they're just bed hopping, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amber 20:58

Crazy. I love it. I mean, another misconception is they looked clean. Oh, must be clean. What the fuck?

Coralie 21:10

I just can't imagine that like the train of thought. Like, I don't even touch doorknobs, they don't look dirty, but I know they are right, yeah.

Vicki 21:23

That's a great analogy, Core. We'll go with that. Um, getting tested means that I don't trust my partner. No, it means that you have a communicative relationship if you're both especially going and being tested. Um especially in the beginning, like if you are a one-on-one scenario, um uh you're a couple in the beginning. If you you know use a lot of lots of people use condoms for a while and then are like, okay, this we're obviously doing this thing, we're obviously gonna keep doing this thing. Let's start with a clean slate, because then you can stop using the things, right? Exactly. And Lord knows. I mean, I'm in my 50s, I can't get pregnant. So I mean, I know I can't. I'm postmenopausal. Sorry, I should make that very, very, very, very clear. Somebody's like, I'm 50, I don't I can't even be humorous. No, no, no, no, no. Sorry. Disclaimer I'm eight infertile and postmenopausal. If you knock this up, that'd be pretty impressive.

Amber 22:20

So here is how often um sexually active adults should consider getting tested. All right, before becoming exclusive with a new partner, um, especially like you're you're getting rid of the condom, that kind of thing. When entering a new relationship after divorce, separation, or the loss of a partner, at least once a year if you're sexually active. Every three to six months, if you have multiple or new partners, anytime you notice symptoms or changes, like that, yes, that's a red flag right there. Sure. That's one of the visible ones. Yes, yeah. And I mean, that's like just an obvious, right? But there's so many that aren't obvious that don't have symptoms. Um, after a potential exposure or a condom failure, that thing happens, don't ignore it. Um, if a current or former partner tests positive for an STI, that's just like a given. Just go. Yep. Before stopping condom use with a partner, so you're in a new relationship, like Vicki said. You might wanna, you're gonna stick with just the two of you. That's a good time to do it. And whenever recommended by your healthcare provider. Yep, totally.

Vicki 23:29

So at the end of the day, sexual health isn't about fear, it's about having the information that you need to take care of yourself and the people that you care about.

Coralie 23:39

If there's one thing we hope you take away from today's episode, is this HIV is not a moral issue, it's a health issue. Testing isn't something to fear, it's not something to be ashamed of. It's just health care. The more we talk openly about sexual health, the more people can access information, testing, treatment, and support without stigma. So if it's been a while since your last STI screening, consider this your reminder. It's a little note from the universe. Um, and not because you should be scared, but because knowledge is always better than assumptions. And around here, we like our brunch conversations, open, honest, and impossible to ignore.

Amber 24:18

Thanks for filling up a seat at the Taboo Talk Not Safe for Brunch Table. If today's episode made you laugh, think, or squirm a little, do us a solid follow, rate, and leave a review. It's the podcast version of a good tip. Want more unfiltered conversations?

Vicki 24:33

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Coralie 24:39

Until next time, keep it bold, keep it curious, and definitely keep it not safe for brunch.