Kicked Can Generations: Hero's Journey Part 2:Embracing Intuitive Whispers Over Ego Responses

In our latest podcast episode, we delve into a transformative journey of self-discovery that empowers listeners to embrace their true selves. This exploration begins by examining the beliefs that shape our identities, many of which stem from societal expectations or past experiences. Through understanding these beliefs, we can identify which ones no longer serve us and work towards creating an authentic narrative rooted in self-love and empowerment. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their inner dialogues, recognizing where limiting beliefs manifest as self-criticism or feelings of victimhood. In doing so, we can learn to challenge these narratives and see our circumstances through a lens of opportunity for growth rather than regret.

As we navigate the emotional landscape, the concept of radical self-love takes center stage. This approach emphasizes the importance of treating oneself with kindness, compassion, and understanding - a practice that can often feel foreign in a world rife with self-doubt and criticism. We discuss actionable steps towards self-care that involve nurturing the mind, body, and spirit, encouraging our audience to carve out time each week to engage in activities that resonate deeply personally, thereby fostering a sense of balance and well-being.

Recognizing and articulating our feelings is a crucial aspect of this journey. We must acknowledge the presence of emotions like anger, frustration, or impatience and engage with them rather than instinctively suppressing or ignoring these feelings. The listeners are guided through techniques to engage with their emotions, allowing for processing and understanding rather than escalation. This dialogue encourages introspection, giving our audience a chance to ask themselves meaningful questions and promoting emotional intelligence.

We also dive into the tricky territory of assumptions—the tendency to interpret others' actions through a highly personal lens. By exploring various hypothetical situations, we challenge listeners to uncover multiple perspectives that could exist beyond their initial reactions. This shift in thinking not only fosters empathy but also liberates individuals from the emotional weight of misinterpretation and judgment. As we unpack our assumptions about ourselves based on others' perceptions, we empower listeners to take control of their self-definition, reminding them that only they hold the authority to define their worth and narrative.

Another significant topic discussed is the power of community and genuine connections. In a world that often incentivizes individualism, we emphasize the necessity of surrounding ourselves with supportive, uplifting individuals who honor our journeys. This segment encourages the audience to engage actively with their communities, nurture relationships that energize rather than drain, and cultivate environments of understanding and acceptance. The importance of communication in forging deeper connections is highlighted, as we seek to find our “people” who resonate with our authentic selves.

As we wrap up the episode, we stress the ongoing nature of this self-discovery journey—acknowledging that it requires patience, practice, and perseverance. Each small action, each moment of self-awareness, and each connection built contributes significantly to the overarching goal of living authentically. Our call to action invites listeners not only to reflect on these themes but also to apply them proactively in their lives, committing to nurturing their relationship with themselves in a radical, loving way, and engaging positively with the complexities of personal and social dynamics.

Sometimes you gotta be adult in the room to say something. Silence = Death.

Transcript

Auntie Robin 0:02

Greetings my little punks. It's your eccentric Auntie Robin calling in the kick-can generation into session and ready to kick some butt. How'd your first month go Of starting the path of the hero's journey, of discovering your authentic-ass self? The way this is going to work is that we'll have an episode. I'll give you a little homework to do over the month. The next episode, I will give you some actionable things that you can do to help with what we talked about the previous month. Then I'll give you some questions to think about the new information that I'll be giving you. If you have any questions, feel free to ask your questions on Blue Sky's social media page. I am on Facebook and Insta but really don't like to have conversations on those social platforms, so hit me up at the Blue Sky Mines and if you're looking for some music to listen to, I totally recommend to check out Midnight Oil Blue Sky Mines Fantastic.

Auntie Robin 1:03

So last time we took a look at our beliefs and where they were coming from. With a buttload of questions that are posted on our social media, which ones did you keep? What beliefs no longer work for you? Remember, the beliefs that you pick are the ones that you live by to be authentically you, so are you going to stand up for those beliefs, because those are the core of who you are. Now, the beliefs that you've got may still try and creep in.

Auntie Robin 1:34

When this happens, it's generally limited beliefs that we have. The first one that we normally have is where we play the victim, aka you know, life is so unfair which, in actuality, life is just trying to teach us lessons that we need to learn to make our lives better and so that we don't fall back into those patterns so we can move on to the next level. That's actually what's supposed to happen. That's not what happens. Another limiting belief is our inner critic, or what I like to call the judge. This one likes to destroy our confidence and self-esteem and also likes to keep things a little bit more on the negative side. When that happens to me, I will actually have a full conversation with it, like it is a person. One of the big core beliefs that constantly frustrates me over my lifetime has been overly and constant repeating of history patterns, which has been happening more and more since about 2016. So I will say either in my head or out loud, if I can hey, judge, I see you're getting a little frustrated by the repeating history patterns. Again, you do understand that those circumstances are beyond our control and we cannot control how people react or do things, so this is not something we need to be concerned about. Thanks for checking in, but I'm going to let this one go.

Auntie Robin 3:05

This is something that I find very helpful, especially what's going on with the world right now, because you can only control your words and your actions. You can't control others. Firstly, you have to remind yourself that not everyone on this planet is made to grow and evolve. They are here to show us what happens if we don't. They don't need pity, they don't need to be told that they're wrong or stupid, because that isn't the point of life. You get to choose if you want to evolve or be miserable. Everything in life is about choices, what you choose to focus your attention on. But what I can do is show them compassion, understanding and just meet them where they are and know that I am in control of how much time and energy I want to spend or invest in them, which, if I'm being honest, is not really a lot of time, but that is not their fault. But you get to choose who you want to be around and if they are worthy of your time, that's empowering yourself, time that's empowering yourself.

Auntie Robin 4:28

But if hanging out with them brings up some feelings, especially like frustration and anger, ask those feelings some questions so you can just talk to them as if it was a person. Hey, frustration, I see you hanging out there. Is there something you're trying to tell me? And then I will sit very quietly to hear a whisper response back To hear it. You want to make sure that you're in a quiet place. I generally focus more of my attention to my feet on the ground and imagine them kind of sinking into some dark, rich soil, as if I was like growing roots. And then I'm going to ask frustration, soil, as if I was like growing roots. And then I'm going to ask frustration, what are you trying to tell me? And my dear ego, I would really like my intuition to respond instead. So if you could just be quiet, I would really appreciate it. Thank you. So, frustration, what is it that you're trying to tell me? And then just listen for a whisper as you are breathing. Now you may need to give this one to five minutes. Your ego may respond instead of your intuition, which is why, when you're starting out, ask it to be quiet respectfully, because the ego will respond quickly and loudly. Your intuition is quiet, soft, whisper, and she takes her time. This is how you can tell the difference between the two.

Auntie Robin 5:51

Now don't beat yourself up if you don't hear anything, because the first rule in having radical love affair with yourself is not to beat yourself up. Ever Now our ego is purely concerned with psychological survival. That is its main purpose. It takes our previous experiences that we've had in our life and let us know if it is safe. That is really about its major job, and it's not able to distinguish between a bear attacking us or a deadline with your job. Your brain doesn't know the difference, it just goes by the stress level that it is feeling. So being attacked sets off our fight, flight, fawn and freeze. That is when that kicks in. Now, if you don't hear anything back, that's okay, you are learning. Just don't freak out when you actually do get an answer back inside of your head. That is your intuition, letting you know why you are frustrated. Because you asked yourself, I will say thank you, frustration for visiting, but I no longer need you. If you could please leave, I would appreciate it and I'll do the same thing to anger.

Auntie Robin 7:07

I find that this is a great way of dealing with my emotions, because I'm recognizing and acknowledging their presence, I'm hanging out with it, I'm asking it some questions and then I tell it when I'm done with it and it's over. The emotion is processed, end of story, full stop. After a while you won't have to do this as much, but this is where you start processing your emotions Anger, frustration, agitation, recklessness, feelings of rejection when you're being inflexible, envious, arrogant. These are very powerful emotions that help us examine our inner self, because generally, when these arise, it is something within us, it's not actually the other people setting us off. How we discover this is through what we call shadow work, which I will be discussing in full detail in a later episode. But ask your emotions and feelings some questions. Are there some actionable steps that you can take right now when some of these things come up?

Auntie Robin 8:16

The other thing that we talked about was a radical love affair with yourself. How'd that go this month? Well, there are a few rules to truly loving yourself. The first and most important is never, ever talk shit about yourself. This is one of the hardest ones starting off, but this is where you start. But here's a question that is absolutely going to blow your mind.

Auntie Robin 8:46

When you say something bad about yourself, do you realize that you are being your own bully? Why would you intentionally do that to yourself? Why are you hurting yourself by doing that? Because that's essentially what you're doing. You're giving yourself permission to beat yourself up. Why do you want to hurt yourself? Kind of a powerful realization and put it into a positive light and if you're like oh, that was so stupid, I can't even say it, I can't even say it out loud anymore about myself, but insert your bad statement here. I can honestly no longer do this anymore without it just truly hurting my soul. But anytime you say something of oh, I'm so, whatever that bad thing is that you say most often about yourself, you need to Missy Elliot that shit and back up and reverse it, say oh, I'm learning and this is hard right now, but I'll get there. This is where the repetition is needed, because your brain is really going to get tired of having to repeat this over and over again and it will take it as a form of punishment and then your brain is going to start accepting oh no, we don't talk bad about ourselves anymore, so we are worthy not by what we do or how we do it, because we are not doing that to our fucking selves anymore. Enough, my dude, enough. You are alive and here to have experiences. That is the only purpose and meaning to life being here and to have as many experiences, both good and bad, and learn from those so you can become the best version of yourself through those lessons.

Auntie Robin 10:56

The second rule of having a radical love affair with yourself is putting your needs first. Every time you board that plane that little announcement about the oxygen mask you need to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others. There's something to be said about that. If you're not taking care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of others? This means by what I call the holy trinity of you your mind, your body, your spirit need to be taken care of. By doing this and healing yourself, you are already taking care of your brain, but you need to spend at least an hour during the week stimulating your brain, learning something new. Your body you need to start exercising. It doesn't need to be hours of working out at the gym.

Auntie Robin 11:47

I pick five exercises. I do a set of 25 each. I do a set in the morning and I do a set when I get home from work. It takes me a total of five to ten minutes each time. Do it for yourself. Do it for yourself. Or maybe you like a skincare routine, or maybe you want to make sure you eat one healthy meal a day, or get all your water in. Pick something and start adding that into your day without fail, and do this for you.

Auntie Robin 12:27

To take care of your spirit, you need to do an activity at least once a week that you love to do. Remember that. Fill up your cup questionnaire we filled out last month. This is where that comes in. If it's reading a book, doing a hobby, making art, singing, playing sports, taking a class on something you've always wanted to learn, you need to carve out that 30 minutes to an hour a week to do that just for you. This gives us a feeling of being complete and a whole person again, because we aren't overextending ourselves for everyone else and we're carving out a small bit of time for us, which is important right now more than you fucking realize. This is what keeps us feeling balanced. You have to claim yourself and tell the people around you that you need this time. You need to make this happen. If not, welcome to Stuxville, because that's where you're going to end up and nobody absolutely nobody, wants to feel stuck.

Auntie Robin 13:29

I saw somebody talking about how they looked up 30 to 40 first date questions and answered them about themselves as a way to get to know themselves better. Then write them down in your journal or your notes on your phone and when you feel stuck, pull it out Like what movies or songs feel like myself again. What are some of my favorite drinks? What are some of my favorite holidays? What are some of my favorite restaurants or my favorite food? What do I like to do in my spare time? What's my favorite color? What are my hobbies? What are my safe spaces? Who are my safe people that I go to?

Auntie Robin 14:06

This will help you understand yourself better and when you're feeling lost, come back to that list and how can you come back to yourself when you lose your way or feel stuck. Plus, it also helps you figure out how to take better care of yourself. It also may lead to some healthy boundaries that probably needed to be put in place in the first place just by doing that. So I want you to start doing those things this month and add that into your daily routine or your weekly routine. There are more rules to the radical love affair with yourself. But we're going to go slowly and add things so we don't get overwhelmed by having everything all at once. Small little actions add up to massive changes in your life. You have no idea how much it will help you, but you gotta start somewhere and this is where we are going to start. My post is at the beginning and this is where we are going to start. My post is at the beginning. So what new things are we going to explore this month?

Auntie Robin 15:09

Assumptions, because when you assume, it makes an ass out of you and me. Trust me, as a human being, we assume a lot, but more often than not, our assumptions or our interpretations lead us to take things personally when in fact it has nothing to even do with us. It's all in how we interpret the situations and events. So I'm going to ask you some questions and, once again, I will eventually post these on social media. It may not be right away, I'm just going to warn you. I'm kind of going through it right now, but hopefully I can get those up for you, but I'm going to repeat these questions twice for you today so you can answer them. Plus, there's also a transcript or reading the captions for this as well, as I'm going through this.

Auntie Robin 16:00

So the first question that we're going to ask about assumptions imagine a woman has shoved past you or somebody else close by you very angrily. What would you assume about that situation? So we have a woman in a store who's shoving past you angrily. What would you assume about that situation? What is a few completely different possibilities that could be happening? I want you to go ahead and list those. So go ahead and list a few different possibilities that that could be happening in that situation. Our next question is let's say you're at a restaurant eating dinner and there is a family that is sitting near you and one of the kids is having a complete fucking meltdown. What would you assume about that situation? Let us say you're in a restaurant eating dinner and there's a family near you and one of the kids is having a complete meltdown. What would you assume about that situation? What are a few completely different possibilities that it could be? And I want you to go ahead and list those out. So what other possibilities could it be if a kid is having a meltdown at a restaurant.

Auntie Robin 17:24

All right, our next question is say you left your house in a hurry and you're kind of dressed in a crazy fashion. Your pants and shirt don't match, your hair is a little disheveled. What are assumptions that others might make about you when you dress like that? So you left your house crazy hurry and didn't have enough time to like really check yourself before you walked out the door. You have mismatched shoes, mishmash everything. Your hair is kind of disheveled in a mess. How do you think other people are going to make assumptions about you looking like that? Follow-up question to this is how did their assumptions affect your life as a whole? That's a very interesting one. How do their assumptions affect your life as a whole? They don't.

Auntie Robin 18:25

You were praised for the work that you have done.

Auntie Robin 18:27

How might that define you?

Auntie Robin 18:32

You were praised for the work that you have done.

Auntie Robin 18:34

How might that define you?

Auntie Robin 18:35

You were praised for the work that you had done.

Auntie Robin 18:37

How is that defining you?

Auntie Robin 18:39

What if it was criticism instead of praise?

Auntie Robin 18:43

Would you let that define you?

Auntie Robin 18:45

And if so, how?

Auntie Robin 18:49

What if it was criticism instead of praise? Would you let that define you? Did you know that other people actually can't define you? You are the only one that has that power. Only you can define yourself, not others. You have to realize that you have a choice every day to choose you. Are you doing that? If you're not, then maybe you should start Now.

Auntie Robin 19:20

The last two questions are really more for you to kind of reflect on other people's assumptions about you and do you let those assumptions affect your life. If so, why are you and do you let those assumptions affect your life? If so, why are you? When we start becoming more self-aware, we start noticing that if we let these things affect us, we are actually looking for proof that we are not worthy of attention, validation or being smart enough or being good enough. But god damn it, people, they do like you. So remember again why are you doing that to yourself? Because you have the power to choose you. Remember the first rule of self-love club you choose yourself first before you can help others.

Auntie Robin 20:08

Another thing that we need to look at when it comes to a situation do we respond calmly to a situation or are we reacting more emotionally? So this month, when you have a situation come up, I want you to ask yourself these following questions, and I'm going to give you an example that happened to me a while back. But these are some of the questions that you'll want to ask yourself when you get into those situations. I'm going to repeat this slowly because, once again, I may not have time to put these up on social media. So, first off, describe the situation. So what is the situation that you came up with? Did you respond or did you react? Did you respond calmly to the situation or did you react more emotionally to that situation? If you reacted, how did you feel during and after the situation? After the situation, if you responded calmly, what benefit did you get from the situation? Or how did you feel during or after that situation? Now, this is a situation that happened to me for a while back ago. I'm going to put a Gen X trigger warning on it for my younger generations because this is actually an example of both.

Auntie Robin 21:33

It was a Saturday night. I thought let's go to the grocery store, let's get it over with. And to put into context the grocery store, during the pandemic, there were often men who would bring their AR-15s to the grocery store with them, as their wife would shop and they would be patrolling around the perimeter. Oklahoma and being a second amendment state, I figured how busy could the grocery store be on a Saturday night. It was actually pleasant until I had to check out.

Auntie Robin 22:03

I was with a friend and we were seeing you know what checkout lanes were free. There was a woman with a few things in her hand and she looked down this one checkout lane that no one was at and then continued to walk past. She was about two checkout lanes past the point of where it was to turn to use that lane, we turned down the one that she looked at because there was no one there. So we started to unload our groceries and my friend is near the cashier. I'm on the back part of the car with basically my butt in the candy aisle, so I'm sandwiched in between the two handing the groceries to my friend so we can get out quicker.

Auntie Robin 22:42

All of a sudden the woman who walked past the checkout lane came up behind me and all I could hear was come out of her mouth. I just ignored her. I kept unloading when all of a sudden her husband shows up with the cart and is behind me and blocking me in. So I can't move at all. We're down to the last few groceries and I need to get into the other corner of the cart that I can't reach and she is standing in my way. Her husband is behind me now and I can't get those last few things clear in the other corner of the cart.

Auntie Robin 23:18

I turned and looked at her and, wow, she just laid it on me. You stole my spot, you fucking bitch. I just stared at her kind of in awe because I'm like, really, so how exactly did I steal your spot when you were standing in that spot to begin with? She is screaming at me at top volume my friend is about ready to beat somebody's ass. And I held my hand up like I got this. I turned to her and said would you please move so I could get the last few items of my cart, so then you can check out.

Auntie Robin 23:56

She continued to cuss me out and came even closer to me. Remember, I'm pinned between the candy and the cart. I can go nowhere. There's no escape here for me. So once she started cussing me out more, I gently placed my hands on her shoulder and started making circle movements backwards to gently guide her to back up. So with every single word I would slowly back her up a little bit and I needed the last few items out of my cart and I needed the last few items out of my cart and I told her will you please move back, as I'm making circles. As I made backwards circles on either side of her shoulders, she started moving back.

Auntie Robin 24:44

And then this is where I go from responding to a situation to emotionally reacting. Then her husband joins in and starts yelling she's assaulting my wife. I'm calling the cops. This is a fucking crime. At this point my head just drops. I managed to get the last few things out of the car. At this point she's shoving her face in front of mine and just smirking at me. I stare blankly at her, getting really super close to her face, like we are nose to nose. I pull back, clap my hands in front of her face, start screaming well, the power of Christ compels you. Jesusesus christ, are you kidding me with this fucking shit? At this point, the entire store is watching the show. The husband is calling the cops.

Auntie Robin 25:39

As the cashier finished checking us out, waiting for me to pay, which I was finally able to do, the husband is like you better not leave assaulted my wife. The cops are coming for you. I told him I would be patiently waiting outside for them at my car. So we leave, load the groceries in the car. The husband follows me outside While on the phone I load up my groceries, I wait a few minutes.

Auntie Robin 26:03

The cops come and ask me what's going on. As soon as I told them, they just rolled their eyes. The other cop then goes over to them to get their side of the story. He comes back saying that they just want an apology. I'm also sorry that you don't know how to back up when somebody asks you politely to do that. The cop just immediately turned me around and said I think we're good. The cop then turned to me and was just like that really was an apology. I told him well, that's as good as I can give right now. And the cop held them for a few minutes while I was able to leave so they wouldn't follow me. Not my finest moment. But during the situation, when I responded, I felt very calm and in control. But once I reacted emotionally, I felt flustered, out of control, felt like crap. So much adrenaline going through my body. It was ridiculous. And after the situation, once the adrenaline wore off, I was exhausted, depleted of energy. So you got to ask yourself was it worth it? No, it wasn't.

Auntie Robin 27:20

The reason we are doing this is because how we react and how we respond to things help us cultivate a little bit of peace within ourselves. Remember, we are in control of ourselves. That's it. That is the only thing in the world that you can control is you. Once you realize that hard truth and adjust accordingly, you'll start to develop some of your own peace. Oftentimes, when we emotionally react to something, it's often coming from a wound or a previous experience that we had, or just trying to stand up for yourself. If you have a tendency to be explosive or fiery with your emotions, it may be because that's how you got people to pay attention to you. It's a coping mechanism that we use to be seen by other people or adults in the room when you're a child. So you want to work on how responding more calmly to situations when they come up. So take some deep breaths. Sometimes I feel and massage my own back, the back of my neck, to remind myself that I have my own back, because no one else will, so start treating yourself like you're a fucking main character. I think that it is more than enough for us to do just working on that.

Auntie Robin 28:43

This month Now, things politically have been happening at lightning speed. It's hard to keep up and you may be feeling overwhelmed, not sure what to do or what actions you can take to actually make a difference. Some ways we can help is calling your representatives in the House and Senate. Flood their emails relentlessly. Make them feel the weight and the pressure of their decisions to pursue these avenues that we do not believe in. Remember they are here for us, so use your power of choice.

Auntie Robin 29:20

This is also another thing that you can do. Use that power of choice that you have. You have the right to spend your time and your money where you want it to go. So where are you choosing to spend your time and your money? Are companies complying with the current administration that you don't agree with? Then don't spend your money or your time there anymore. If all they care about is money, then don't give it to them.

Auntie Robin 29:51

I do understand that some rural areas there is not much in the way of choice, but maybe that's where you need to step up is in your community. Maybe you need to give people the other choices. Start a small business, compete with them in your area. It's going to be hard to start, but maybe talk to some local farmers and set up farmers markets in your area. Maybe start looking at your communities around you. Who needs support? Who needs the most help? Remember your history Nazi Germany people hid others to help them get out. During slavery there was the Underground Railroad Hell.

Auntie Robin 30:35

Even going and talking to your neighbors now is an act of rebellion anymore. Now is an act of rebellion anymore. They want us divided. We need to build our communities, which means we need to start talking to each other in the real world. I can hear the groans from here already, but seriously, I hear nothing but how lonely my little punks in the younger generations are. So what actions are you taking to fix that, my punks? Because you've got to take action. Just talking about it isn't going to do anything. This is how you fix it. Talk to your neighbors or the people you work with. Get to know them more, ask some questions, get curious about them. This is how you start building a community around you and you will find your people once you are authentically you.

Auntie Robin 31:33

This is why we end up with people who don't really deserve our attention in our lives is because these are not our people. We are people pleasing in order to make them like us. It isn't always necessarily that they are our people. That's also another tough journey Now, something that most people don't tell you when they're on the hero's journey and I'm going to give you all the tea on it right now. When you are done working on your limited beliefs and release the stuff that is no longer serving you, you're going to start looking at the people around you, because the more authentic you are, some people are going to fully support you, and then there are going to be others that in your life that have a tendency to well not support you. You're going to start noticing their behaviors, how you've changed. Are they getting annoyed with you having to set boundaries? Could they no longer use you for what they needed you for? So notice how those people feel in your life. How do they make you feel? Do you feel energized? Do you feel tired or drained after you leave them? Do they make you feel anxious? Do you feel off around certain people? If so, your intuition is trying to tell you something that they may not be good for you. I'm going to get real personal with you here. This is where I'm at in my journey right now.

Auntie Robin 33:05

There is a card in the tarot deck called the Tower. The image of this card looks terrifying. It is a castle tower that is crumbling. It is on fire, lightning is striking it, people are falling out from it and basically it's just crumbling down to its very foundation. But what this is really saying is sometimes everything has to fall spectacularly apart before it can come back beautifully together. Think of the hero's journey stories that you've been told. There's always that moment, like in the Lord, of the hero's journey stories that you've been told. There's always that moment, like in the lord of the rings. The fellowship has to break up and go on separate journeys of discovering before everything can come back together again. That's the moment I'm in right now.

Auntie Robin 33:56

I'm having to let some people go in my life that I have cared for for over a decade, and it hurts. It is painful and sad and sometimes people will understand and sometimes they won't be able to get past their own hurt and act out from old wounds that are hurting them. As a reminder hurt people hurt. It's not your fault, in fact it isn't even theirs. It's generally from a person who originally hurt them and they have not come to terms with that past hurt on their timeline. But you can't wait around for them to figure that out. They need to address that when they are ready. Remember, we can't control other people.

Auntie Robin 34:46

Plus, I had to not talk to my family for a bit as I worked out my childhood issues. I am neurodivergent but act like a neurotypical person. I had to have a heart-to-heart talk with my inner child, making sure that they understood that we are an adult now and, if it happens, I will protect them myself. It is one step in kind of reparenting yourself. But I also had to come to terms that my parents really did the best that they could with the knowledge and skill that they had at the time of raising me. Because, remember, things change every decade. We learn more over time and the time. Those things were acceptable, but they're not to be blamed because they didn't have the knowledge there at the time. But also they're a lot older now. So I had to ask what are the chances of them ever changing in this time? Probably not very likely. We can't change people who do not want to change. That is why I love these things.

Auntie Robin 36:01

One, meet people where they are. Don't think about their potential, what they could be. You have to accept them for who they are right now. Today, I've made that mistake several times and I now realize, oh, this is a pattern and this must stop so I can be around the people who actually like me, because when you do this, you are not surrounding yourself with people who are really meant for you or get you. The other thing is you surround yourself with potential, not who they actually are.

Auntie Robin 36:41

The second one is a great one from Mel Robbins Let them, if they don't invite you with them, let them Don't take it personally. I personally can't give you peace if I don't have any of my own. How is that person who doesn't love themselves know how to give love to somebody else if they can't do it for themselves? You can't take things personally. Everyone has a right to choose. You can choose to heal or you can choose to be miserable. You have a wonderful thing here in this world called free will, but after I worked with all my family issues, I realized this is all that they can give and that is what I have to respect and meet them at that place. They can't go any further than where they are in their journey. They will not be able to give me an apology or anything along those lines, because they don't see that that is an issue for them. So I meet them where they are and I reparented myself because, out of anyone in this world, you should at least have your own back.

Auntie Robin 37:52

This is the reason why I have not been consistent as I would like with this podcast, because I also have a full-time job as well. It can be a lot to deal with and I'm learning how to show myself that grace, that compassion, that forgiveness for myself, because this is a lot to deal with, but I'm doing the best that I can right now. I know it'll get easier, but it's just not going to happen this very second. But things will come back together again and then I can integrate that healing within myself, making myself more complete and more whole again. I'm really selling this to you guys. It's just like Ooh, welcome, you get to be a part of the shit show. But in the end I would much rather have gone through all of this just to feel like myself and that's what we're doing Coming home to you and that my punk is where we're going to leave it today. Remember little actions over time equal to larger gains in the end, so I can deal with some of my tower moments that I'm having right now and get some of the chaos straightened out in my life.

Auntie Robin 39:06

I'll be back, hopefully sometime in April it may be more towards the end of April, just to warn you, because I'm having to get a divorce, sell my house and try and find another place to live while packing everything up. So that's where I'm at my healing journey. If you can give me a little grace on that one, I would appreciate it. So hopefully by the end of April I will have another episode for you, but if not, it'll at least be like the first part of May, but I'll be trying to post some stuff on social media, like the questions that we talked about today. It may take me like a week or so, but bear with me, like I said, showing ourselves some grace, taking care of ourselves, and we'll keep you up to date when the next episode will be out. So keep it real, keep it pop. My young ones love you.