A love letter to Men! (but not just for men, my ladies)

                          PLEASE BE AWARE: This is a visual podcast!                                                                              So check out YouTube and Spotify!

What if the system that promised men power quietly cut them off from connection? We head to a windy Scottish loch and get brutally honest about male loneliness, the illusion of control, and the narrow terms patriarchy demands men live under. Robin lays out why grinding yourself numb, outsourcing validation, and treating emotions like liabilities don’t make you strong—they make you isolated. Then we flip the script and build a path that actually works.

If you’re tired of feeling alone while doing “everything right,” this conversation offers a straighter line forward. Choose yourself, rebuild connection, and design love and friendships that energize you rather than drain you. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find their way here.

Sometimes you gotta be adult in the room to say something. Silence = Death.

Transcript

Setting The Scene In Scotland

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hey guys, it's your Auntie Robin here. Welcoming you to this second episode in Edinburgh for Self-Lovin with Auntie Robin Podcast. I'm just kind of chilling at the lock today, one of the Dunstan, I think it's Dunstan Lock, I believe. And today's topic, kind of thought about

Naming The Male Loneliness Crisis

SPEAKER_00 0:26

it. We're gonna tackle the male loneliness epidemic today.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Yep. So my guys, are you ready for that? Because seeing as which I've been in Scotland for a grand total of an entire month, um kind of my perception is that it is not as much of a thing as it is in the states. That concerns me a little bit. Because what is the United States doing that is creating this much of an issue? Yeah. But I think that everyone on this planet can feel like there's a big change coming, which is why honestly everything kind of feels off. And when change comes and knocking, the entire world just becomes extremely chaotic and an uncomfortable place to live. But which is kind of where we're at right now. Sorry, let me. But change is scary. I mean, it is, it's terrifying. It is the unknown, if you will, but it is coming for us, whether we like it or not. But here's the thing it's going to happen eventually. But you get to choose where you're going to direct that change in your life. But of course, we don't know what the change is. So but when it comes, you get to choose where it where it gets to go. But change often happens when like a belief system that we have relied on for an extremely long period of time no longer works or functions. Because the environment is really like no longer acceptable for it, for that old belief anymore. So what are we gonna do about that? Just kind of curious. So something new really needs to come forth and like bridge that gap, if you will. So hi, I'm Robin. I'm gonna be your bridge today. Are you ready for it? If not, buckle up buttercup, because we're here we go. This feeling of uncertainty, the the whole world's feelings, it it's oddly not actually even here yet the change. But we can sense it, and that makes it even more scary. Is that you know it's coming, but you don't know what it is. Um, which way are we gonna go? Because it could kind of go either way. And it involves everyone, not just men, not just the male loneliness epidemic, okay? It involves all of us. But do you want

Change, Fear, And Agency

SPEAKER_00 3:46

to know what old outdated belief system that we are gonna be talking about today?

Calling Out Patriarchy’s Terms

SPEAKER_00 3:53

It's patriarchy. So you know how horrible this system is to women. It has been for eons, okay? But did you know that there's only one type of person who actually benefits from patriarchy? One. Now, please understand, all these people have been dead and gone long, long, long ago. But the ideals are still here. All right, so patriarchy is a system that believes that benefits one type of person, okay? And it is one type of man who can allegedly lead the system. Now, if you do not 100% agree to the following terms and conditions of patriarchy, my dear sirs, you are not considered a leader of patriarchy. Yeah, believe that one. You will be cast out, and patriarchy does not work for men either. I'm gonna break that one down for you in just a few. Which is why men don't think that it's damaging to them as much because they think they they're in control.

unknown 5:18

It's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

It's a lot to you too, guys. I'm not joking, which is why most men don't think that it damages them as much. But remember, you have to agree to all of these to benefit from patriarchy. Okay, do they benefit you? Let's think about that. So, number one, you gotta be male. Sorry, but you do, you gotta be male. Two, you gotta be straight. With that one, though, your gender also is what you consider on your birth certificate as well. I'm just saying. Now, this is where things start getting dicey for guys, okay? Because I know a lot of people who are not a part of this, okay? So you have to also be racist, misogynistic, homophobic, which cracks me up, honestly, because you guys who are homophobic, some of your logic on that one cracks me up. And I really wish that you would listen to what you say because I've heard guys explain it that the reason why they're homophobic is because they think that men are going to treat them like they treat women. Listen to that. Listen to that one carefully. Repeat that one in your mouth one more time.

unknown 6:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Now, stubbornness and aggressiveness is kind of a tricky one because there are times that you can kind of be aggressive, there are times that you can be stubborn, but this really needs to be like essentially ingrained into your personality. Yeah. Um, sorry, floating spirits. Um sorry, I got sidetracked by floating spirits. All right, guys, back to back to the story. So aggressiveness and stubbornness really needs to be part of your personality, like 24-7. It is not something that is just an occasional type of thing. So that counts you out if you're only an occasional stubborn person or an occasional aggressive person, depending on the situation. Okay. Now, this last one is a hard one. Education. Did you get yourself some of that? Because this one is often overlooked. And, you know, because at least our education system, at definitely in the United States, has definitely failed tremendously the youth of our country. And I am so sorry for that. Education should have been well, one, fun. Two, you're supposed to discover the things that you like, and that's not what it is. It's about testing anymore. So if we could get out of that, that would be great. But that's an episode for another. So let's get back to focusing on my men, okay? And your education. Because even though these people who came up with patriarchy are long dead, they have been dead eons ago. Um, but let me ask you this do you actually have any agency or control over anyone? I want you to think about that. Do you have any agency or control over anyone? Let's ponder that question, shall we? Do you have control over anyone else? Even if you have, it's probably only just been for like a period of time. Sometimes it can be a couple years, sometimes it's a month, sometimes it's a day. It just really depends on the moon, the stars, and the alignment of whatever, you know, or how much you know this person believes you're bullshit is essentially what it comes down to, my guys. There is only one thing everyone has control over. And it's

Control Is An Illusion

SPEAKER_00 10:12

not what you think. Do you care to guess what it is, my darling? Do you? It's you. You. You are the only thing in this entire world that you can control. I mean, people have tried to control others, but it never works for long. Eventually people catch on. And here we are again in 2026, trying to control people again. In all of the recorded history of humanity, this has never worked out for anyone who has tried to control others.

unknown 11:04

Never.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

So are we just gonna keep repeating the same fucking cycles over and over again, my guys? Because that's what we're doing. I mean, or are you gonna make a choice? Because you do have a choice to make, which is choosing yourself. Oddly enough. I know that wasn't what you were thinking, huh?

The Cost Of Bottling Emotions

SPEAKER_00 11:34

You are the answer. Because according to patriarchy, men allegedly are only good for fighting wars. Um, you and only you are the moneymaker. Um, you work your mind and your body to complete exhaustion. Okay? This kind of I'll sleep when I'm dead attitude that some of you have. Yeah. That's going to catch up to you sometime. Which then leads you to not seek help at all from anyone, therapy or your friends, family reaching out. Instead, what you do, you bottle everything up inside. And to the point in which you cannot take it anymore. Okay? And at that point, you're just trying to numb yourself out with either drugs, alcohol, sex, video games, or the more dramatic solution, which is suicide. And I don't recommend it. Because that's generally a permanent solution to a temporary problem that you have. So don't use that one. Don't. It's not usable. Okay? We need you. You're needed, which is why I want to talk to you about this. We need you to step up, my guys. And I know that you have it in you to do this. Not for us, but for you. You. Another thing is that men can't possibly care or nurture children. Um, and men that are are basically considered weird and kind of like an outcast of male society a little bit. Um, men who experience verbal, physical, or sexual abuse, it's always their fault. And because like, honestly, remember Johnny Depp a few years ago? How did you treat the man? Ask yourself that. How did you treat him? I bet you you kind of shunned him out. Think about it. Patriarchy makes you think that you're in control, but really, it is controlling you. That's not a joke. Think about it. If you're one of those guys and you're kind of on the fringe of the area, it's not that system is not working for you, my guy. It's not, it never has. The reason why they do this, the reason why, I'm gonna let you in on a secret here, is so that you don't question others who are thriving when you are just struggling to get by. That is the illusion. My guys, welcome. Welcome to the illusion. So

Abuse, Stigma, And Public Judgment

SPEAKER_00 15:05

this system that's so precious to you, what are you getting out of patriarchy? Is it all that it has promised you guys? I'm kind of curious. Cause with all the bitching and whining that I've been hearing you guys do, it sounds like that's a no. That patriarchy is not actually helping you in any way, shape, form, or fashion. So you're probably sitting here going, like, okay, great, Auntie. Uh what do we do? What do we do? Well, there's two paths, okay? One is the easiest, and is which is do nothing. Continue on down the path that we are currently on, don't change anything, and see how your prospects decrease. Because that's what's gonna happen. Your prospects are going to go down. And what is gonna go up? Your frustration. Yeah. You're gonna get more frustrated, you're gonna get basically kind of ousted a little bit, so you're gonna be the one on the fringe of society. Mm-hmm. So the choice is yours. That's one path, the nothing path, in which your prospects decrease and your frustrations increase. Now, the other thing that we can do is we can take a deeper look, and this is probably the bravest of the choices that you can do. Sit down, go deep within yourself, and look at your beliefs. What beliefs did your family have? What beliefs did your friends have? What did what beliefs did you learn from school, your education system? What did your work environment teach you? These are the things that we kind of need to look at and kind of see what it is that we still believe in. Because when I did this recently, I realized that the majority of these thoughts were not actually mine.

Two Paths: Numb Out Or Look Within

SPEAKER_00 17:24

I didn't have any of these original thoughts on my own. They were all passed down to me. So what I had to do is sit there, write them all down, and just be like, is that something that I still believe in? And I want you guys to do this too. Okay, it's really gonna solidify like a lot of things for you. And I'm really hoping that you do this for yourself, just if anything else. Like every decade, you kind of need to recheck your beliefs and see is that still what I believe, or is that not? And if you need guidance on this, I will actually put up a Word document on my socials on Insta as well as um TikTok for you guys so you can copy it. Um so you guys can figure out what it is to get that party started for you. Okay, so many have people have put their ideals on you, and you have accepted it as truth. But I want to ask you, is it your truth or is it their truth? Hmm, that's an interesting question to ask yourself. That is what I am curious to actually find out about. Is that part right there? Because once again, this is a personal choice that you have to make. No one can do this for you. I can't do this for you, your wife, your girlfriend, whoever cannot do this for you. Only you can do this. So what's it gonna be, man? What's it gonna be? And we'll be back after this commercial break. Thank you for making it back after the commercial break here. Now, my lovely men, you have the right to keep choosing patriarchy. But when you're alone and scared, just remember you chose it. Okay. I will offer you some hope though. You can unchoose patriarchy whenever you are ready, okay? But the loneliness is

Auditing Beliefs And Writing Truth

SPEAKER_00 20:10

going to keep continuing until you choose differently. But one of the main reasons it's stuck is because you think it benefits you. But look at your past relationships. How long did they last? Did you end it? Did they? Do you know why it ended? Start getting curious about that. But I really recommend writing it down. Then your own words are staring back at you on the page, and there is no denying the truth of your own words. I also recommend that you ask and write the question down as well. Okay. Why did it end? And I want you to make a list, and each answer has to be different from the last. No repeating answers, okay? And keep going because one of those all of a sudden is going to make you go, oh. Yeah. That is the one that is the real reason why your relationship ended. I mean, relationships end for many reasons, but the main one is that you're actually not being yourself at the beginning when you start. You may think you are, but oftentimes you're being the good guy, the dream date version of yourself, okay? Putting out your best first impressions, which I get. We all do that. But is it really you? Think about that. That you're showing the other person. Because our human core essence just wants to be loved, just wants to be chosen, just wants to feel needed. And to be seen for who we are. And that's okay. As humans, we are wired for love. Although, to be honest with you, it seems like we've been experiencing a high volume of hate lately than love. But, you know, we're working on it. But you have to make sure that you're truly and authentically being you and not trying to fit into somebody else's box that, quite frankly, you weren't meant to fit in. This is where we lose ourselves and weaken our power and our sovereignty. And no one wants that. But this is ultimately what happens. You are giving your power away. And that's when relationships start to deteriorate. Because a strong relationship needs to have both people standing in their power to have a strong union between the two. Sometimes it isn't even enough for that relationship to thrive because trauma of dramas, of llamas. Trust me, every single person on this planet has issues. Okay. But we need to work them out. But did you know that some of the traumas have been passed down from your ancestral bloodline? I'll explain that one later in this episode because it's kind of involved. But also, men, I want to ask you: have you ever been emotionally neglected for any reason? I especially want you to check out your childhood on that one. Okay? Because this includes your relationships with your family, your friends, your school, your work. Because emotional neglect, that is trauma. It may not look like the abuses that others have had to endure and work through, but it is something that you need to work through. Because this creates a lack of emotional connection, which is one of the largest complaints that women have, is your lack of emotional connection. But hear me out here. This is another form of control that patriarchy uses to control you. Mm-hmm. Because our core human essence needs emotional connection. So trauma takes you out of your body. So it teaches you to use your head. And let me tell you, if you want further explanation on

After The Break: Choosing Differently

SPEAKER_00 24:46

that, go check out my YouTube channel because I have a little clippy clip there for you. And it explains it beautifully. So now you're overthinking, you're idealizing things, but you're not thinking about how things are in your body at the present moment, where you're supposed to be. Instead, your body is saying it's not safe to be in there. You shut down, you throw and abandon yourself for everyone else's comfort, or to make sure that everyone else is okay. But you need to be able to recognize this in yourself when it starts happening. So you can correct that. So give yourself emotional consent, guys. Okay. It's not scary to face your emotions, but this is why we stay in jobs too long, relationships way past their prime. For we try and convince our ear tofu here that the coulda, shoulda, woulda's worked out. But ask yourself, what is my body saying? Is it safe right now? Is it the right time? Is it the right place? Do I even really want to do it? Because the majority of the time we abandon our emotions in our brain just to keep us safe. This is what leads to disconnection, burnout, exhaustion. This is why it keeps happening. That's why boundaries and the need for emotional consent are so important when dealing with trauma. This is where I recommend getting professional help, guys. But remember, you should be doing more than just talking and identifying the stories, the patterns, and the issues. There needs to be action behind those words, okay? So pick up a book, educate yourself, take some actionable steps, or else you are going to be doomed to fail, and you're gonna have to keep repeating this information. Trust me, I did that. So I can save yourself some time and some money, guys, okay? You do not want that level of frustration in your life, that feeling of being stuck,

Emotional Neglect And Disconnection

SPEAKER_00 27:14

feeling like you're repeating a loop. So please, please, I am begging you, just do the work. Do you rely on just your opinion, or are you doing relying on others for outsourcing that? This is one that patriarchy really likes to work against you. Because patriarchy teaches you how to only value and value and validate the opinions of men. Do you realize how emotionally gay that sounds?

SPEAKER_01 28:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

Let alone it kind of limits your view of life by not being able to see the whole picture. The world in the 2000s has gotten a little mean, a little hurtful, a little angry at times. It it's to the point in which it's kind of we've sequestered ourselves off into like these little echo chambers that only repeat back like our own ideals, regardless if it's true or not. Okay, which is why I'm asking you, men, do you feel heard? Do you feel as if what you have to say matters? Because let's face it, it feels good to get external validation from our peers. But if you're outsourcing your validation instead of validating yourself, for that once again outsources your power, your sovereignty to others, which leads to abandonment of oneself again. Just another tricky way that patriarchy likes to work against you. Are you starting to see how patriarchy works against you, my guys? I hope so. Because this next point is really gonna hurt some of you, especially the homophobes out there. But because you only value the opinion of men, I have always wondered, do you know how emotionally gay that is? Because you are only looking at the situation from one limited view. Because every woman and child can offer you a different perspective. Because you don't ask them or value them, um, you don't know that it's limiting your capabilities of seeing the bigger picture of things, of everything. Now, granted, if you are just wanting someone to say how great and awesome and not challenge yourself a little, I hope you realize it's like sticking your dick in a glory hole, and you are desperately trying hard to forget that it is a guy on the other side sucking your cock. Which is what is actually happening there, Andrew Tate Wannabes. Mm-hmm. You see it, right? You can hear it, right? You are limiting your vision of the world, of business, of relationships, and so much more by relying on the opinions of other men. But once again, my men, it's it's about choices. And what do you choose to believe?

Boundaries, Consent, And Action

SPEAKER_00 31:13

What do you choose? God only knows how many times I have had to sit in a business meeting, and a woman comes up with an idea early on, and y'all say no. But then near the end of the meeting, there's always one guy who will repeat the exact same idea that the woman had, and all of a sudden it's the most brilliant plan on the face of the planet. Just because it's a guy who said it. So ask yourself, how emotionally gay are you? Okay. Let's just say several millennia. But your ancestors, your previous male brethren, if you will, have officially fucked patriarchy for you. Yeah. Would you like to know more? See, what's happened to your ancestral bloodline over the generations has influenced and changed our DNA now. How exactly? Think about all the traumatic historical events famine, war, genocide, verbal, physical, sexual abuses, the Great Depression, and last but not least, the Holocaust, which is where they actually discovered that trauma on that scale affects the bloodline's DNA and encodes that trauma into our body. So, guys, you can thank your ancestral line for passing on their abuses and violence towards women. Cause yeah, that added up over time. And that shit is now encoded in our DNA. Now, granted, some family lines do have more than others. Okay. But which is why that when I started doing social media just recently is only when I landed here in Scotland. And I have found it most interesting that it's mostly men that have started following me. And a few women. I give a shout out to you. Thank you for following me. I appreciate your support. I really truly do. So huge shout out to the women out there. Thank you for your appreciation and your support. But guys, I've talked on social media about the beauty of this land, the excitement that I've felt since coming to Scotland. And everyone knows I've been through some shit. Not going into details here, but that's what I have put out. Open, honest, because that's who essentially I am. But this is the thing, because I've been through so much trauma and drama. And then you add the historical pains of the women in my lineage and what they've had to deal with and have never cleared. Yeah, I can clock every sociopath, narcissist,

Outsourced Validation And Echo Chambers

SPEAKER_00 34:53

and Machiavellian in the group. And child, it is not just me. There are millions of women out there who now have this amazing gift of discernment. And that's why you're crying that women's standards are too high. No, no, my son. It is because you all have fucked around so much that women can now clock your bullshit as you are approaching to hit on us from the bar. We can smell, feel, and sense your intentions. Okay? Just as you can clock a woman's desperation, we can clock your ill intent now. Which is why women chose bear. Okay. This is a DNA survival instinct that you can thank your ancestors for. And guys, I'm going to give you a helpful hint. When hitting on women or approaching women, you got one MM, one Hamilton, you got that one shot. And you gotta make that count. And when you get rejected, you need to be able to handle it. That does not mean try harder. Because at this point, you're becoming desperate, needy. You're highlighting to us that you don't listen, you only serve your own needs. You need to be able to handle rejection, my guys. And I will even help you rethink of rejection as a positive thing. Because it isn't bad. Just think of rejection as redirection. Because why do you want to waste your time on somebody who is not interested in you? Why waste your time, energy? You give away your power and your sovereignty because every time you do, you abandon yourself, guys. Now, if you're just trying to sleep or have sex with someone, why not do the radical approach of honest and openness that sex is all you want? But once again, you only get one shot, and you got to be able to handle that rejection, guys, and stop wasting everyone's time. And if you need a date rape drug to sleep with somebody, maybe you should really look at yourself because clearly your head, your heart, your cock, and not communicating real well. When you should really be clearly working on yourself and your insecurities and not passing on your traumas onto another living human being. Okay, am I clear? It is built on darkness, control, and manipulation. So, what do we do about guys? Swing the pendulum in the opposite direction towards matriarchy. That has never worked in the history of the world. Okay? Going from one extreme to another simply just does not work. What we have to do is we have to find balance here with the solution. And what is the solution, you ask?

unknown 38:57

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 38:59

It's partnership. Wasn't expecting that one, were you? I think we can all agree that it should never rely on one person to carry the burdens and load of all the problems in the relationship or within the family. But before we can reach partnership, there needs to be a few phases in between that we need to explore here first. And if patriarchy didn't exist, what would that look like? Let's start off with our relationship to ourselves without patriarchy. Firstly,

Ancestral Trauma And DNA

SPEAKER_00 39:41

you need to make sure that you are 100% being authentically you. This is the foundation in which you are built. That means making sure your thoughts, your beliefs, and actions all match who you are at your core. This is where you get to decide what you choose to believe. What are your passions? What are your pursuits? What causes do you champion? What interests do you have? So know thyself, my little punks. Know thyself. And if you do have trauma, get some help. Start working through that shit. Emotional neglect, work through that shit, okay? Because on the other side where the grass is really greener, do you want and care to know why? Because all your bullshit in your life is now fertilizing your own lawn. And baby, your bullshit's gonna make that shit grow and make it green. Seriously. It does. Then we have friendships. Uh, the people who come in and out of our story, sometimes they're there for fun, sometimes they're there to teach, sometimes they're there to listen, sometimes they're adventuring, caring, and some are gonna teach you some really tough lessons. Sometimes you even got friends who you haven't seen in a while, and the instant that you reconnect, it's like no time has passed at all between the two of you. And fellas who claim to not be misogynistic, homophobic, and racist, are you calling out your friends who start spouting off that BS? Ladies, that goes for you too. I have been just as guilty in the past. You know what it does to you. You feel exhausted, tired, agitated. When you are in the right group of friends, you generally feel energized, excited, alive, even happy, I would even say. But if someone is spouting off a bunch of stuff that you don't like, leave. If they ask you why or want to know what's wrong, it's up to you to decide whether or not you tell them. And that's okay to do that. It really truly is. It's your choice to tell them whether or not you don't or you don't. When somebody does something like that, I'm often left with the interesting conversation has just left the room, and I feel I need to do likewise. It's a great excuse to get out of something. Or maybe like, I'm sorry, there's a distinct smell of bullshit, and I'm gonna find some fresh air. Give that a shot. See if that works for you. And if they get butthurt, ask yourself, are these the kind of people I want to spend my time with and my energy on? Because sometimes you don't. Most of the times you don't. Now, sometimes these are customers, clients, work colleagues, and

Discernment, Rejection, And Accountability

SPEAKER_00 43:17

well, you can't exactly completely stop talking to them. But what you can do is limit the time that you do spend. And always keep the answers short, don't talk too much, don't reveal a whole lot, and just try and get in and out of the conversation as quickly as possible. Trust me, there are so many people on this planet, they're not all gonna like you, and it's okay if you don't like them. It's okay. I am going to share a not really embarrassing story, but once upon a 90s grunge, uh, this little princess. Uh, decided to all was all decked out in her little cargo pants, her henley, and her flannel shirt tied around her waist. And I was at film school at the time, and I just got done filming on a chute, and I went to a gallery show in which John Waters was going to be there. I love John Waters. Love him. So I was very excited to be able to get to go and talk to him. Because I was a director of photography. I kind of had all sorts of like weird shit shoved into my cargo pants, like a light meter, a leatherman. I had a hammer hanging out. Um, I had zip ties, I had gaffer's tape just kind of like stuck all over my body. And I I go up to John and I stick my hand out to say hi, and he immediately like steps back, gives me the and then he turns away and starts walking away from me. Just like, that's okay, we'll talk later. Yeah, it hurt a little bit, but the man was dressed immaculately. I mean, he had this immaculate, beautiful brown pinstriped with orange suit that was just, oh, it was magnificent. And here I am, the pack ratdess of grunge of cinema. But what I realized is that that was a him problem, not a me problem. Not everybody is gonna like you in the brief moments, the brief moments that you get to spend with them, and you're gonna be okay with that. You're gonna be okay. Remember, rejection is redirection. Because there are people out there who don't want to know you, and that's okay. They don't have to know you, you don't have to know them, and that's all right. It's alright, you'll be okay. Now, dating and settling down here is a different vibe. Firstly, you 100% need to be your authentic self. If I cannot emphasize that enough to you, that is the point I need to drive home. Because before you go through, and secondly, I'm gonna back it up and reverse it here a little. Secondly, you need to work on yourself. Get through your traumas and your dramas and your llamas before including somebody else into your life. This applies double if you want to have kids. Like quit passing your shit down to your children, okay? It's part of the reason that we are in the mess of the world that we have right now is that nobody on this entire planet has really worked through their shit, okay? But how do you know if somebody is right? Seriously, how do you know if somebody is right for you? Well, first off, I listen to my body. I don't listen to what my brain says. That's the first key. Um, because my brain will see the potential in people. It is, but my body is gonna feel what's really going on underneath everything. And if someone is not right, I feel like I can't speak, like my throat gets kind of tight, I feel closed off, my chest kind of feels a little tight. I don't recommend going with the butterflies in your stomach theory. That one has never worked for me. But because sometimes love really is just a chemical reaction. It's true, and there's nothing wrong with chemicals. Chemicals are great, chemicals mix together, and they also make wonderful concoctions, but they also can be shit. But my better relationships were actually the ones where I felt calm

Friendship Filters And Energy

SPEAKER_00 48:11

around this person, like I would literally fall asleep around. No joke. This is your nervous system giving the seal of approval. Okay, but you also need to be aware that when dating some people, they are going to mirror some of your behaviors back to you. So look back at your past relationships, see what comes up. Woo, pretty duck. Sorry, I got distracted by a duck. I don't know. I gotta you see him? There he is. He's a swimming. Okay. Sorry, I just it's a duck. It's a duck. I gotta go with a duck. Hi ADHD. How are you? But you also need to be aware when dating, some people are going to mirror your behavior. So look it back at your past relationships. What came up often? What issues did you fight on? Now think about where did those beliefs come from? Was it a you problem or was it a them problem? Because oftentimes it comes from our closest relationship, which is our family. This is where we learn love, care, and compassion. And not everyone on this planet is guaranteed a good experience with them. So we need to work on ourselves and be open, because not everybody on this planet gets the gets a healthy experience out of the gate. Sometimes we have to learn that for ourselves, trust me. It is very much worth going through that. It truly is. With patriarchy gone, we could start living without these huge assumptions. Because remember, to assume is to make an ass out of you and me. It's true. But without it, you and your partner are free to set up the relationship the way that you want it to. You get to decide how it looks on the day today. You get to decide what is important to the both of you. How does that look when the day and the stress is a little bit higher? How do you handle arguments? Are you putting in some care, some compassion? Or are we screaming and throwing things at each other? Are you both okay with that? And if you're not, maybe you need to reconsider your situation. Once you're in a long-term relationship, for example, little annoying habits kind of start creeping in. But if it bothered you when you started, then that's a hundred percent on you. Because trust me, it does not get better with time. It really truly does not get better with time. In fact, it's actually gonna annoy you more. Yeah. Ask my parents. Right now, patriarchy is part of our lives. But it is up to us, world, if we want to keep working on out with outdated ideas, or do we want to start implementing something new? Now, Boomers and some Gen X are gonna have a hard time with this, letting it go. But that's because they're old, and we're old. I'm old. I'm a Gen Xer. I'll admit it. But the rest of us uh in Gen X, millennials, Z and Alpha, we get to decide what our future looks like. So are we gonna continue trying to control others? Or are we gonna try and control ourselves? A novel idea. It is up to us, and this is just my little love letter to you all on this Valentine's Day. So tune into next month when I'm I have no idea what I'm gonna talk about. Okay? Love you, your auntie.