Giving It Up To God or Godzilla? You get to choose!

I grew up with church pews, Sunday rules, and a quiet sense that the adults who preached certainty didn’t always live it. That gap turned me toward a different lens: religion as storytelling and ritual. Stories move us, settle us, and offer scripts for hard days, and rituals give our hands something to do when our hearts are heavy. From Jonah to Noah, the parables are less about facts and more about practice—how to hold hope in chaos, how to choose mercy over fear. Over time I learned that translation shifts meanings and institutions sometimes cherry-pick lines to control behavior. So I asked a simpler question: what stories help me become a kinder, steadier human, and how can I make the ritual fit my life?

Across faiths, one ethic repeats: love your neighbor as yourself. That simple line exposes a first task—learn to love yourself—because borrowed shame and hand-me-down guilt make it impossible to love anyone else well. I also felt a pull back to older currents: nature as temple, seasons as teachers, the cycle of death and rebirth visible in any fallen tree left to rot and feed new growth. Polytheistic myths—from Norse to Greek to Hindu—helped too. Their gods are flawed, vivid, and relatable, which makes them strong mirrors. Kali, fierce guardian of time and endings, became a kind of spiritual ally for me. Not as a theological statement, but as a story-shape I could step into when I needed courage to end what was destroying me and begin again.

Here’s the practice that changed me: treat healing like choosing a champion. If praying to a distant, abstract figure leaves you cold, choose a hero from the stories that live in your bones—Gandalf, Katniss, Master Chief, a rugby squad on a final drive, or yes, Godzilla. Give your pain form. Name the villain: shame from a childhood slight, fear wired by abuse, grief that won’t unclench. Then infuse your champion with what you crave on the other side: peace, breath, room to think, a steadier heartbeat. If imagination feels far, cue up a clip—Mortal Kombat, a last-stand scene, a boss fight—and let the screen carry the image while you carry the intention. The point isn’t fandom; it’s agency. You are directing energy, not waiting for rescue.

Why does this work? Because trauma is sticky narrative. It loops until we give it a new ending. By choosing a champion we love, we borrow that story’s momentum. We see our pain get beaten, dissolved, or carried away, and our nervous system finally has a picture of victory. It won’t end every trigger, but the yarn gets spooled, labeled, and lighter. When it tugs loose again, you recognize it, cut the thread, and return it to the ground. Healing becomes repeatable, even playful. And when healing has room for play, hope lasts longer. If the old way of “giving it up to God” never clicked for you, try giving it up to a hero who will actually swing the sword. The story is yours to tell.

Sometimes you gotta be adult in the room to say something. Silence = Death.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Today we're gonna talk about giving it up to God. Or a goddess. I mean, hell, if if you even want to give it up to Katniss Everdeen, feel free. Okay? She seems like she's the one that can handle your traumas, then by all means send it to her. So yes, we're gonna be touching a little bit on religion today. I but it's kind of not in the way that you think would work with a religion. You'll find out. So I I grew up in Iowa during the 70s and the 80s. So in the 70s I was between about like one and eight. And then uh from the 80s, I was about eight or nine to about eighteen, is when I had uh my church experience, shall we say. And my family was really into religion, and they were members of the church, worked their way up to being like leaders of the church, if you will. Um, and it was always interesting because every time that they would hang out with each other, I would get really confused because when you're in church, the Bible says that you're supposed to follow God. Okay. And you're supposed to follow his word. In fact, his word is supposed to take precedent over man's law. Okay. So as a kid, I thought, okay, you just obey the rules and you're good. Okay, great. So that's what I thought was supposed to happen. But then I started realizing that the adults around me were not necessarily always doing that. In fact, they were more uh, how should I put it? Do as I say, not as I actually do. If that's one way to put it. But essentially, I kind of felt like the adults in the room weren't actually following their own advice that they were pushing on me that I needed to follow. But somehow it was okay if they didn't. Which, if we're being honest, is kind of bullshit. But the Bible was written by ordinary people, okay, channeling their God through them. So I didn't really understand how that that is not much like a medium today, or like an intuitive person who can connect to their own intuition, which in spirituality forms is basically your own individual God consciousness, um, essentially. So if that's the case, then anybody can technically connect to God if their intuition is on point enough to hear God. That was deep. But that's what spiritualists essentially believe. But right now we're gonna be talking about Christianity as well as like the other religions as well. I always thought that the Bible and also all religious texts uh were supposed to be basically your guide to being a better human being. That was your manual, is what I always kind of took it as. But that I found out is not always necessarily the case. I was kind of shocked by that. When I was in high school, my debate coach, I think it was, honestly, uh, told me that it's really good to learn and educate yourself about what other people are extremely passionate about. And religion is definitely one of those things that you should be aware of. And not just your religion, but all religions, because people go to war for that shit. Am I right, Netanyahu? Yeah, I said what I said.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

I said what I said. Netan Yu-Ho.

Hypocrisy, Texts, And Interpretation

SPEAKER_00 4:29

But I gotta be honest with you. Israel and Palestine, this has been going on for far too long, but this time I actually don't feel like it's over religion. I actually kind of feel like it's just over the fact that somebody wants some dead Dead Sea property for their retirement. I'm just saying. I've said what I said. I'm gonna stand on it. But Israel, Palestine, you guys are gonna have to figure out your shit. Seriously. Please. Do you even know what you're fighting about anymore? I mean, this conflict has been going on for far so long that do you even know? Does anybody alive still even really know? I understand what the history books say, but I'm just like, but how deep is that? Maybe you need to analyze your beliefs and kind of uh rethink those and maybe see, do I still believe that? Do I? And also a little shout-out to um Net and Yuhu there. Uh just because uh your people had a genocide done to them does not mean a genocide you are owed. So quit your shit. Stop it. And just enjoy your motherfucking life. Okay? Stop it. You can stop it, you can stop it. You can stop it. If you want to. But you're not. So here we go. Floating in stupidity. But it's good to study the other religions, because I mean, like I said, I grew up in Iowa, all right? There weren't exactly a lot of other religions. Christianity was king there, okay? And if you weren't a Christian, then you didn't exist there. Uh, because there weren't exactly many Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, Sikhs, or Hindis uh in my neighborhood. There just wasn't. The sad, honest truth is, is that the first uh black person who I had in my school was when I was a junior in high school. I am 53 right now. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? That it took 18 years into my childhood. So I was about that was about what eighty eighty-eight, I think, eighty-seven, eighty-eight. That's a that's a hell of a long time. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. It's ridiculous, folks.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

But this is where you have to start. This is where you have to go. Now, religion to me is really focusing more on storytelling. It's about storytelling and ritual. That's what religion has always been for me, because the stories have always been, well, magnificent. It is. Jonah and the whale, come on. Epic, epic, epic, epic, epic tales. Noah in the Ark. Epic. How the fuck are you sticking that many things on a wooden dambo? Really?

SPEAKER_01 8:01

How are you getting the lions, tigers, and bears to not eat everything? Come on. I'm just saying. For 40 days and 40 nights. Good luck with that.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

But religion is stories, it's tales, it's parables. But that's to show that you're supposed to try and save God's creations a little bit. And in order to do that, you need to be able to. How do I put this? Have weird sense of faith that you're doing the right thing, even when it sounds absolutely ridiculous doing it.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Which is what I'm doing right now.

War, Belief, And Letting Go

Small-Town Upbringing And Diversity Gaps

Stories, Rituals, And Human Comfort

Translation, Control, And Choice

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Because I did not come up with this idea to have a podcast on my own. This is my intuition telling me that I needed to do a podcast. And for some odd reason, my guides are encouraging me to be seen and to do this, even though I do know how to do this. I mean, I went to film school, so I have a basic understanding and idea of how to put this all together. But the thing is, is that making the words flow from my mouth-mouth isn't always the easiest thing for me to do with my ADHD. And that's okay. It's part of God's plan, I guess. And I'm just rolling with it. Okay. So religion is storytelling and rituals, essentially, is what it comes down to in the end. And rituals are what makes human beings comfortable. Because this is something that I can do. I can actively participate within. And these rituals kind of help make things, well, better. And by experimenting and getting out there and trying these different things, it's amazing. It really truly is. But the Bible also has a bunch of different stories and stuff that we're supposed to learn from. Now, some of them I believe are fantastic. Fantasyful. Is that a word? Fantasyful? Are a little bit more fantasy-oriented, shall we say? And that's okay. Because what it is, is it's to learn a lesson on how to deal with a fucked up situation. That's what stories are for. That's how we kind of learn. That's how we tell our tales. That's why we gathered around the fire telling stories way back when. But now we're kind of stuck in this muck and mire, and we've kind of forgotten that the story is actually something that we're supposed to learn from. So, what are you learning from your stories? I'll show you some different ways of learning some things from your stories, but that's going to be a little bit later on in this episode. But the Bible is definitely a different form of text. I mean, it has been interpreted, reinterpreted, transferred into how many Godforsaken languages? And each each Bible has a different size and a different feel to it. Some have illustrations, some do not. And it's pretty incredible to take a look at and see the differences between like the older Bibles and the newer Bibles and the interpretations thereof. Because even just switching like a few words can mean something completely different. And if it's in a different language, it can also mean something completely different. So the Bible's a little tricky that way. But there's different different phrases, different meanings in different language interpretations. It it takes on a different life. And that's something I don't think everybody kind of realizes. But organized religion is very controlling and always has been. And I kind of feel like they are kind of the ones who have started nitpicking on some of the words and kind of cherry-picking what they decide what they want you to believe. But the thing is, is that you can believe what you want to believe. It's just a book. In the end, it's just a book, it's an instruction manual to guide you to different things. But the thing is, is that that book is kind of incomplete because there are other chapters, there are other things that are missing from it. It's not a whole complete uh way of the world, shall we say? But I was often curious, though, because I'm kind of am talking about storytelling, like if you took the Bible and actually made it into a paperback book, like an actual physical paperback book, like any that you would pick off at, you know, Barnes and Noble or Walden's or Wharton's or wherever you know you get your books from. But I actually found something interesting that if you actually were to take it, the the stand by Stephen King is about 1,300 pages. Okay, so that it and the other smaller version of the Bible is about 1200 pages, okay, total. So if you took the stand, which is 1300, and if you took all the Lord of the Rings books and put them together, you get about 1200. So it literally is going to take you two and a half standbooks in order to print the Bible. It's gonna take two and a half to three of Lord of the Rings. Isn't that interesting? I'm just like, wow, that's kind of fucked up. Kind of curious. But the other thing is that the Ten Commandments itself is just your your basic guide of being a better human being. But the thing is, is that all of the religions actually have this. They do. Like, look it up. Like they all offer a better guide to be a better human being. I mean, they don't necessarily call it the Ten Commandments. I mean, and some of them, I think, I believe, like the Muslim faith, there's a lot of commandments. Okay. But um, but that's all right. It's their religion. You're allowed to have as many commandments as you totally decide to do. Totally, it's up to you. But in the end, the one thing that is consistent throughout all of them is love thy neighbor as thyself. You need to love other people the way you love you. And if you're not loving you, then what the fuck? You might want to fix that. Because you can't love others if you can't love yourself. That's problem number one. Okay. And maybe we should do that. Sorry, I got distracted by a bird. There's just so many beautiful things here. I just get easily distracted. So in the end, through it all, it's about balance within ourselves and coming home to ourselves. That we really need to do. And maybe that is actually how we create heaven on earth is through ourselves. That was deep. So maybe we need to check out our beliefs. Check out your religious beliefs and see if they line up for you. Um, I do have a questionnaire on my YouTube shorts there that you can screenshot the questions. And really seriously, take a look at what religion has taught you. Do you still believe that? Do you still not? Find out. It's good to do that, not just for you, but for everyone around you. Because then you're not hanging on to beliefs that necessarily don't belong to you anymore, but belong to somebody else who imposed it upon you. I think I actually finally understand what my uh ancestors were saying when they said that I needed to get back to my roots. And it's not hair color, although I could use a die job. But it isn't that. I think honestly, what they meant when getting back to my roots is getting back to Scotland and where my ancestors came from. But at that time, way back when, before the church and before, you know, the one God system, and before we started building churches and steeples and looking at all the people, um, we worshipped in nature. We worshiped in and communed with nature the majority of the time. That's how we connected ourselves to God. It was really more of like a creator source type of situation instead of like this all-knowing ominous being that's going to rain down terror upon you, you know. And he's a fearful god, and okay. Sure. If you want to see a real terror, I would recommend checking out some of the other gods and goddesses. Because they do not play. Okay. But if you look at like the kind of the Japanese Shinto belief gods, the Norse, you also have the Greeks. The majority of you kind of know the Greeks a little bit. But then there's also like the Egyptian gods. Uh, there's also other African nations also had different gods and goddesses. Um, also, as well as North America and South American indigenous uh had their own gods and goddesses as well. So whether you believe in the multi-god or just the one god, it's up to you. I mean, you get to decide that. That's the beauty of it. But the thing is, is that you also need to take a look at these stories. Because essentially that's what it comes down to is the stories that are what basically what we carry with us in order to like lead a better life, to be a better human being, to to guide ourselves into, you know, our own salvation, if you will. To put it one way. But with multiple gods and goddesses, there was generally always just a creator or a source that it all came from. And then there were other gods, you know, the rain god, the sun god, the moon god, the god of harvest, the god of goddess of spring, you know, this is the time of planting and fertility, and you know, there were many different reasons to celebrate. And it's kind of interesting because we're coming up on Bellatane here, and it's a fire festival, and it's multiple gods, but it's also getting back to nature and connecting with the seasons and connecting with um your place within that, and moving from a point of that into a more connective sense of being with the world around you in nature itself, and not necessarily in your brain. But if we're looking at like the Greek pantheon of gods, they are very flawed, okay. Um they kill, they murder, they have dark sides, they have you know, light, darkness. I mean, they integrated it all, okay. No god was completely pure, okay. Um, they all had faults. Because we as humans, we have faults, and that makes it relatable. I I can't relate to an all omnipotent god who can, you know, see see over all and you know figure out how all this is gonna go down. That's beyond my pig grade, and I'm okay to have that beyond my pay grade. And I hope you. Do too because it's it's beyond us. But nature and simplicity and kind of taking things back a little bit kind of helps, or at least it's helped me a little bit. Because how can I describe it? In the US, everything is like picked up and tidy. A tree goes down, then you know, a couple weeks later, you're picking that shit up and you're taking it off to do whatever. They don't necessarily do that here. In fact, they kind of leave it until it becomes a problem, and then, well, maybe we'll cut it down. Maybe we'll do something else with it. But the majority of the time, it's really left up to nature. And it's very fascinating because the destruction and the rising of what happens is the death and the rebirth, I guess, is really honestly what I'm trying to say here of nature, is very much that of life itself. And why do I necessarily need a church and an almighty God to, you know, see that when I could just walk out my door and go down to the creek and take a look and see and witness all of it in all its glory. And actually, um, if you take a look also at the Hindu gods and goddesses, um they're also a fascinating bunch. I have really enjoyed um learning more about their stories, because Holly is one of the goddesses, and she is the goddess of time, destruction, and death. Now, I consider death also to be rebirth as well. So she is a goddess that protects her people, honestly, and she is fierce. Um, this is a picture of her. If you can kind of notice, she has some severed heads, some arms. She's got a sickle or a sword in one hand, a trident, you know, severed head, you know, representing the ego. I mean, she is just the ultimate badass, okay? I mean, nothing can beat Kali, as far as I am concerned. And I've actually had to call on her, and this is what this episode is basically about. Is that when you go through so many traumas in your life and so much put upon you the physical abuse, the emotional abuse, the sexual abuse for the people in Palestine genocide. I mean, these deep, deep war wounds that hurt.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

You feel it.

Common Ethics Across Faiths

SPEAKER_00 25:25

You feel it in your soul. Sorry, I'm feeling it right now. But when you take a look at the different gods and goddesses of the world, they have different meanings. And I really encourage you all to kind of take a look at some different beliefs because religion really is something that everyone deeply feels within themselves at some point in a time in their life. And it doesn't matter what religion. All religions are good. Honestly, they really truly are. As long as you're being a good person about it, that's all that matters. Does it make you a good person? Then it's a good religion for you. If it doesn't make you a good person, well, let's reevaluate that, shall we? Because clearly we need to do some work on that. But a lot of these gods and goddesses, you were able to call on them to help you out. But the thing is, is that these smaller gods were just part of a larger picture. And you could call on these gods and goddesses for specific situations. I mean, they were more of a situational god or goddess, you know, like the goddess Hecate, the goddess of the crossroads. When you come into a point in your life and you have your road has diverged into two paths, which one are you gonna take? Hecate, who is who you would call on to help you in that decision. She could show you the paths and show you which which way to go. Um, another great one is Kali. She is a fierce fucking protector. Please take a look at this picture. She has her tongue sticking out. She's like, feels good to actually do that. But she's got a severed head representing the ego. She also generally has like a trident or a sword. She's generally covered in severed arms or severed heads. I mean, she looks fearsome. You know, you're not gonna fuck with this woman. No, no, no, you are not. But she is a protector of her the people who do worship her. And it is astounding. And I'm gonna show you in the next section how to work with these entities, but the thing is, is that it's all based on story. That's all religion is, is stories. Okay, when it comes down to it, it's nature and it's stories. So, what stories are you gonna use today? Because you can use any story that you want. I've used Lord of the Rings, I've used Samwise Gamgee, Frodo, uh Gandalf when I've needed it. I've also called upon Godzilla. I've called on uh the Kaiju, uh King Kong, Mothra, I mean, if you hell, if you like Pokemon, call on your Pokemon. Who who is best to serve your issue that you're having right now? Which Pokemon are you gonna throw at that problem? Did you ever think that you could? Why not? Why not use some of these magnificent tales and these magnificent stories that we human beings have created for ourselves to learn to deal with the issues that we have that when they come up, the abuses, the negativity, the just everything that is weighing you down. And trust me, right now I feel like I'm really weighed down, and I'm feeling the weight of all of it today. But sorry, I needed to take a moment to kind of compose myself a little bit again because like I said, I've been feeling the weight the past couple days, and it's been a lot, and I've been kind of going through it, and I kind of wanted to share part of this journey with you because I think that what I've done to kind of heal myself through a lot of these traumas, because I basically look at trauma as a bunch of wool in your brain. Imagine a bunch of yarn just throwing everywhere. The cat has gotten to it. All your balls are now scattered all over the place, they're just kind of piled up on top of each other. There is no discernible uh what belongs to what. And it starts clouding your head, it starts clouding your vision, it starts clouding how you think and how you proceed to move forward. You have to clear some of that. And the way that I have kind of learned how to tame the wool that's in my head is spooling it. And the more I spool it, the thinner it gets. And every time that I do one of these exercises and a release to whatever character I deem worthy of this problem, I move forward with that. And it varies because religion is just storytelling. So this guy here, and even this guy here, I don't think can handle my rapes. I don't think that that can that guy there can handle the abuses that I've had to deal with.

Nature Spirituality And Many Gods

SPEAKER_01 32:07

If I'm being honest, I don't think he can.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

So who am who am I gonna call? Who are you gonna call? Ghostbusters? If you want to, fuck. Yeah, go ahead, call Ghostbusters. If you want King Kong to rip that shit apart, fucking call King Kong and rip that shit apart. If you want to call an anime character, fuck, yeah, do it. Personalize it so it's something that you're interested in and that you think can actually destroy the hurts that you feel because you know your hurts better than anyone else in the entire fucking planet. Okay. So we're gonna take all of our pain, all of our hurts, all of our abuses, all of our misery, and we're gonna give it up to whoever we think is gonna destroy that shit the best.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

Mm-hmm. Because it ain't this guy.

Kali And Calling A Protector

SPEAKER_00 33:17

Sometimes I need a kaiju. Sometimes I need to be the gypsy lady from Pacific Room or Rock'em Sock Em Rowats, whatever you want to call it. Um, but the other thing is that also if you're dealing with a lot of social injustices and you're calling on God who isn't doing anything about it, well, maybe I need to call on a character who deals with social injustice and call them out and say, Hey, can you help me with this? I got a situation. Because seriously, it really does alleviate some of the tension and the pressure and some of the pain and the misery and the suffering, and it helps you spool that loop, those trauma loops, and shrinks it down to the point in which it's just a string on a rule, on a on a reel, essentially. And every once in a while, don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong, you're gonna get triggered. Somebody's gonna pull on that little string and start pulling it out, but at least it's organized now. Okay, it's organized, and that string, as it's being pulled out, you're able to just be kind of like, okay, I'm gonna cut this off right here, right now. I I know what's going on here. Okay, all right. Let's refocus. Let's try and clear this a little bit better. And this is what I'm gonna show you in this nice little section. Gotta cool down after all of that. You can't handle this fire. Sometimes you actually have to add some like just lightness to the heaviness of things. So that's what I'm trying to do here. Kind of breaking up, you know, the trauma talk with just a little bit of fun, a little bit of whimsy. We can do that, can't we? We well, we can if we want to, but nobody's really done that. So let's do that. I love it. I'm going to teach you guys how to take your traumas, your drama llamas, your PTSD, your complex PTSD, the small little minor things, your fears, your anxieties. And instead of giving it up to God or Jesus, because God and Jesus are really just kind of stories to me. I don't actually feel a personal connection with any of them. I never have. But I do feel a personal connection to different stories and stuff in my world that I've really liked, characters that have just been endearing to me. And like uh some of them, you know, like Lord of the Rings, Gandalf, Frodo, Samwise, you know, if I've had problems with friendships, I always go to them and kind of talk to them. And it's just like I'll pick up the book and just be like, okay, book, what is it that I need to know right now? And I'll just kind of open it up randomly, read the two pages, and all of a sudden something will kind of hit and be like, hmm, I think that's actually what I needed to hear right now. And a lot of times I end up coming back to Gandalf's. We none of us expect to be in these kinds of times speech that he gives, which is so just 100% correct. Uh, nobody wants to be in these kinds of times. Nobody does. But here we are, and we have to face it and we have to deal with it. Um, so how do you deal with it? And so what we're gonna do today is I'm gonna take your favorite stories or your favorite characters, and I'm gonna teach you how to use them and your imagination. And if you don't have an imagination, trust me, babies, I got you. I got you. Um, I'll show you a different way of doing it. Um, and it just makes you feel lighter. It's like I can actually visualize and see all this stuff kind of dissolving from my field and in my body and just kind of like letting it go finally. You know, just praying to God to take this away isn't doing it for me. So call on somebody else. Who what things do you like? You know, do you like Pokemon? Well, maybe figure out which Pokemon character might be the best to battle your issues. Okay. You know, if you're a sports fanatic, maybe it's your favorite rugby team and the ball is your trauma. And so when they push that thing over the line and get it to goal, you've scored, you've gotten rid of that thing. Okay. So maybe that's how you do it. Pokemon is actually, I think, really a great example to use because there's so many different characters. And it's all basically the same premise of them fighting different characters, but you get to choose who you want to use for the problem that you have. You know, that's kind of a cool thing. Or maybe you like kaiju, maybe you like King Kong and Godzilla or Mothra. So instead of giving it up to God, give it up to Godzilla. Mortal Kombat. That's it. Mortal Kombat! You know, if you like video games, use that. I I mean, there's so many fucking stories out here, guys. It's limitless. Something else that you're doing, you're personalizing this. You are personalizing how you want your trauma to leave you. How cool is that? You get to choose. You get to choose. And do you know how powerful that is? That is powerful, okay? That you're choosing to destroy these things that are taking up victimhood space in your mind and releasing it back to who it needs to go to. Because let's face it, trauma really does kind of suck because it's not actually necessarily anything you did. And a lot of it is kind of put upon you, but you feel the guilt and the shame of the person who put it upon you, and it's kind of like when they enact that trauma on you, you absorb that and you take that away from them. This is why this practice is really good, but it's what makes it fun, it's what makes it enjoyable. And isn't that what life is supposed to be about? I thought it was. I thought life was supposed to be enjoyable. I thought life was supposed to be about you're supposed to find happiness and joy and trying to seek that from within yourself, but you get so bogged down with the traumas and the dramas of of life and people, and they put all these things upon you, and you have to let it go. You can't hang on to this shit, guys. You can't, you can't hang on to it. There's a time limit. Otherwise, it's just gonna end up destroying you, and you are worthy of so much more than that. So much more than having your traumas and your pains taking control over your life and creating more fear, more anxiety, more worry, more doubt within you. For what? For what?

SPEAKER_01 42:09

What good is that gonna do you?

SPEAKER_00 42:14

It hurts. But this is probably the most healthiest way I know, or that I've actually come up with. I don't think this is an actual uh technical psychological thing yet, but it might become that. Who knows? Give it a shot. If nothing else has worked, what the fuck? Why not? Not gonna cost you anything. I mean, you can basically YouTube the majority of this shit, so put it on. Give it a shot. Now, something else that I also like to do, just to give you some examples, because I know not everyone is as wildly creative and ADHD brain as I am, but when you come up with your Mortal Kombat screen, because this is what I did, and this is how I actually came up with this, is one night, uh I think it was like Mortal Kombat 11 came out, and I was really kind of going through it, and I was just I got triggered, and some trauma drama llamas kind of came up again, and I I finally have just gotten sick of it. I got sick of it, and so I'm not really a religious girly, but I do love the Hindu gods and goddesses. Okay, I think that they are spectacular. And one of them that really stuck out to me was Kali. And if you don't know Kali, I really recommend looking up. The Hindu gods and goddesses. They are astounding. Their stories are so amazing and so powerful. And they they are fierce. Okay? Fierce. I mean, this is an image of Kali. Okay? Are you gonna fuck with this bitch? I'm not gonna fuck with her. Oh hell no. I have nothing but respect for this woman. She has severed heads around her, she has a severed head, a sword, sometimes a trident, but she also has body parts hanging, bloody body parts hanging off of her. And but she is the goddess of destruction, time, and death.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

But she is a protector of people who come to her.

Give It Up To Your Heroes

The Wool Ball Of Trauma

SPEAKER_00 44:55

And that was such an incredibly and profound thing when I read that, and I'm like, wow, I'm gonna call on Kali. I'm gonna bring her up. So I imagined I was playing Mortal Kombat, I was myself giving the stuff to her, okay? So I was giving her her opponent, okay? And I chose her to fight it. So she was also my champion, but also I was her opponent because it's in my head. It's my thoughts, it's my feelings, it's my intention. So what I imagined that I was doing is like I would imagine like I was in the pause screen of like when you're choosing your characters, and you know, you you choose your character and they kind of have their fight stance. Just kind of like, you know, Bruce Lee in it. You know. Oh, Bruce Lee would also be another good one. Great movies. Um, anyhow, sorry. Uh, but then you're kind of like, you know, fighting, but she likes to stick her tongue out a lot. Just kind of like, ah, you know, imagine with the sword and the severed head, and she's like, ah, and so what I imagine that I'm doing is I'm building up this energy ball, okay, kind of from my heart center, my chakra. Oh, sorry, Mike, I forgot about it. I'm expanding that energy ball, okay, from my heart, and I'm infusing it with all the things that I want to get rid of. Like the guilt and shame from this event, the guilt and shame from from this, uh, people treating me like shit, you know, uh, the way that your parents talked to you when you were a child or didn't treat you as a child, you know, taking that and filling it up into this huge ball. And then what I did is I would kind of cut it off from my heart and make kind of a shape like this to kind of cut it off, shrink it down, and then I would kind of move my hands into a triangle and push it away from me and move my fingers this way so that I was cutting it off. Like it was a small, it's becoming a small, small little cord. And then it's gone. And then I'm like, Kolly, I beg you, please alleviate me from these burdens. I give them to you willingly, I give them to you freely, I give them to you to destroy, demolish, and return nothing back but love and compassion for myself. And I send it out to her. And then I wait, and then I just imagine her. She's just like and then she takes it, she's like eating it, and just like ah, devouring it. And she's it like feet, it feeds her, you know? And then I take some deep breaths, and I'm just kind of like put my hand on my heart. I open myself up and I'm like, I I just want to receive peace. I just want to receive love. I just want to receive care, compassion, unity. I want to feel whole. I want to feel put back together anew. And then hug yourself. Hug yourself. Seriously. If you take one arm, stick it underneath your armpit, take the other arm, wrap it around you, and just kind of slowly stroke your other arm and squeeze in tight. I'm hugging myself, and it feels good. Because sometimes, you know, you're not always gonna have stuff around to hug you when you need to. And it feels actually kind of good, I gotta admit. This is one of my favorite things to do when I get kind of down. And yeah, I'll just hug myself. It's okay. You can do it. Yeah, you're gonna look stupid. I'm out in the middle of a fucking forest hugging myself. You can hug yourself in your own goddamn living room, okay? I think it'll be alright. Get over it. Get over your embarrassment. So, what you're gonna do is I like to imagine like I'm in Mortal Kombat, like I'm choosing my characters, okay? So, first when I sit down, I'm choosing out all of my characters, okay? And you can do novels, you can do uh video games. Um, if you do like sports, do not focus on individuals. You need to focus in on a team effort of getting the ball to wherever it needs to go, okay? And like they're in conflict with somebody else or they're pushing back, and there's a lot of pushback, a lot of give and to take, um, is the scene that you need to create if you're doing a sports scenario. Okay. But ultimately, your team that you like and love needs to win that shot. Now, I'm sitting here, I'm in my loading screen of Mortal Kombat. I'm choosing my characters. Okay. One of them is going to represent me right here, right now. This individual. Okay. The other individual that I'm picking is my villain who I'm going to fight. Now, I'm going to infuse those with my trauma. So I can either write that down, I can speak it out to them, I can, you know, do it in a way in which, like, how can I put it? If I wanted to use like pen and paper, I want to make sure that I can destroy that afterwards. Okay. I don't want anything lingering. Okay. So you need to have like a little fire bucket that you can burn it in, uh, be able to take it outside, dig it up, dig up some dirt, shove it in there, bury it, and you know, seal it up and just be like, back to the earth. Back to the earth with you. I'm done. Or you can even do water, but I recommend using like toilet paper and water, water soluble ink. There we go. And then you can just kind of let the stick it into a jar of water and then just let it dissolve. And then when you're done with it, take it way outside of your house.

unknown 53:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 53:03

Take it out to the take it out to the woods, okay? Because this shit ain't coming back. All right. Don't bring it back with you. So take it out to the woods, dump it into the ground, and say, I give it back to you. Okay. The other thing that you can do is once I've infused my villain with it, then I need to infuse my hero with what I want to have happen. Okay? That's kind of the key thing. It's like, what is it that you think by getting rid of these traumas is going to bring to your life? One, I can tell you, peace. Yeah. It's going to bring a little bit of peace. It's going to free up some mind space in between your ear tofu. It's going to give you, you're going to be able to hear yourself think a little bit more, which is going to be crazy. And some of you might not be ready for that. But you're going to find a sense of calm. Your inner child might actually come out. You might actually enjoy your fucking life. Yeah. Do you remember what fun was? Because I'm just learning again. Okay? And I'm hoping that you're enjoying the learning process as I'm here online doing this with you. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna embarrass the shit out of myself. And you want to know something? I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_01 54:38

Because I am having fun doing this.

SPEAKER_00 54:44

So we're infusing our good guy now with what we want to feel. Okay? And it's just kind of like, I need you to release this. You're giving this person a pep talk. The pep talk for the fight of all fights, you know. This is life or death for you, you know? So it's just like, I need you on your A game, Charizard. I I need you on your A-game, Katniss Everdeen. I I need you, uh, Gandalf, to to defeat my enemies for me because I am just a mere mortal. And I do not have this power to do this myself. And I'm calling upon you here, now, to help me, to assist me, to get rid of this burden on my mind, on my heart, on my motherfucking soul. And preach it like you mean it. Okay? Because this is your life. You have control over this. Nobody else does.

SPEAKER_01 56:06

You so act like it.

SPEAKER_00 56:12

So choose your champion, my friend. Choose your champion. Who's it gonna be? Is it Master Chief? Is it somebody from Mortal Kombat? Then what I do is once I've infused my good guy, who's gonna take all who's gonna fight this burden, if you don't have an imagination, then set it up so that the the fight sequence that you want to use, line it up so it's it's exact, it's ready to go. And once you're done giving your pep talk to your your champion, whoever that is, Pokemon, Mortal Kombat, Master Chief, fuck a rugby team. I don't give a shit. Whatever you want, okay. You take that person once you've given them your hero speech, okay? You're gonna press play and you're gonna watch your champion defeat the shit out of your traumas.

SPEAKER_01 57:27

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:31

How does that not feel good? How does that not feel good? That feels really good to me.

SPEAKER_01 57:37

That I am visually seeing my trauma getting decimated.

A Visualization To Release Pain

SPEAKER_00 57:47

That visually feels so fucking good. Like, oh my god. I have a wild imagination, guys. Wild imagination. And you're only just seeing the beginning of this, like, shit. Like stuff that's gonna come out of my mouth is probably gonna be that'll be a little shocking. But why not give it a shot? Why not? You don't have to give it up to God, is all I'm saying. Sometimes you gotta give it up to Kat and Zebradeen. Alright, guys. Um, if you guys have any questions on some of this stuff, I know that that was like a lot, and my ADHD brain sometimes, I I'll be honest, it forgets a few steps in there. But please, please, please, I'm begging you ask questions. I'm not gonna do the work for you guys, okay? That is not my purpose in life, okay? I am not here to do your emotional labor. You have to be here to do your emotional labor. But I can give you some fun ways of dealing with emotional labor that make it fun and exciting and enjoyable for you with the things that you love, with the things that you like to do. There's nothing wrong with that. Not a damn thing wrong with that. All right. So ask questions. If I need to do another episode on this, I will. And please feel free to ask your questions. Email me. Please. I will come up with another episode if I need to, and I'll clarify some things some more if you want, if you're really excited about this. Because, like I said, this is something that I came up with and I just did one night. It came to my mind and it actually kind of worked. It made me feel better. It made me feel better because I could visually see like my traumas being just decimated, and that felt so good. It felt so good to have that visual, and it just is so freeing. And isn't that what we want? Freedom, freedom to be ourselves, freedom to enjoy life. And I know that there's political situations and all of that, but it really honestly, it's gonna have to start with us working on ourselves a little bit, as well as you know, watching the world burn. But I'm in it with you. I'm in it to win it. Let's do it. All right. Um, generally, I do not have the topic for the next conversation that I generally have, but this time I actually do. So I'm gonna give you a little preview. We're gonna talk about spirit guides and ancestors a little bit and how to talk to them and communicate because I know as an ADHD person, I get decision fatigue. Like crazy, because I have to sit here and do all the decisions myself. I'm the only person here. So I get tired of having to decide everything in my life. So sometimes it's kind of nice to ask your ancestors and your spirit guides that actually work for you. So we're gonna talk a little bit about that and how even if you can't hear them, they can always hear you. But you can't always hear them. But I'm gonna show you guys how to do some stuff, okay? I love you guys. You guys have been fantastic. I just hope that you're having an amazing day, and I hope that you enjoy this kind of whirlwind of trauma therapy, of taking stories, not necessarily always being religious, but what being able to watch and decimate your traumas is a beautiful thing. I love you guys. Alright, I will see you next month.