How To Add Play To Adult Life Without Guilt

You can be responsible and still be playful, and if you feel burned out, scattered, or stuck in your head, play might be the missing tool. I’m making a simple argument: adults need fun on the calendar, not just work and obligations. When we never schedule joy, we lose a key source of creativity, stress relief, and emotional resilience.

I walk through how play disappears as we move from childhood into college, careers, and family life, then I offer a practical fix that supports real work-life balance.

We also get honest about what shows up when you try to start to play again:  guilt about “wasting time,” shame for prioritizing yourself, and the belief that adults aren’t supposed to play. I share how I’m “alchemizing” those thoughts by challenging them directly and replacing them with something truer, so play becomes a practice instead of a performance.

If you want more creativity, better mental health, and a sustainable self-care routine, start here. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a play break, and leave a review telling me what you’re choosing to play.

Sometimes you gotta be adult in the room to say something. Silence = Death.

Transcript

Welcome And The Case For Play

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey guys. Welcome to Self-Lovin with Auntie Robin. I'm here today in a nice little cherry to blossom tree, just kind of enjoying and chilling out and enjoying the day and recording a podcast episode. New lessons are learned for you. So today's lesson is going to be how to add play as an adult. It's something that we don't often do. And we should probably do that a lot more than what we do. And the thing is, is that even monks like the deepest spiritual Buddhist monks know that play and fun need to be had. Okay. It is just a fact of life that with grief and sorrow, you also need to have joy and happiness in order to know it.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Okay. So you got to practice a little bit of both.

How We Unlearn Play Over Time

SPEAKER_02 0:55

This is what I've been learning this past month, honestly, is that as an adult, we do not schedule enough time for ourselves to enjoy life, to enjoy, well, anything. And we need to do that more within our day. Even within our workday, we need to do this because it helps increase your productivity by doing something that's completely illogical and not part of your work a day. And it gives you more of a chance to really put more thought and more ideas into the world. It refreshes your brain. It's just kind of like, oh, okay. I'm a fresh start now. So now I'm ready to do a little work. And every time I take these breaks, I end up having better productivity when I am working. It's kind of crazy. I don't know if there's a scientific research out there that proves that fact, but at least that's what I've noticed. And when I was a kid, I also kind of felt like adults forgot what it was like to be a child. And maybe this can kind of help us, I don't know, feel more like a child and help us enjoy some of the simpler things in life. Give it a shot. Why not? Because as a kid, we have it scheduled in. We can play with our friends, we can go out to the playground and just have a blast. Okay. And playtime was always scheduled for us. And then we have like our teenage and adolescent years, and then trying to find our place in the world and what our interests are. Because as a teenager, you're trying to discover what are your likes, what are your dislikes. Am I good at this? Am I good at that? And trying as many different things as you can really gives you that safety and also helps you figure out what I want to do with my life.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

And it's those playtimes that actually curate that for you. So be adventurous. Try some different things.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

And if you haven't done it in a while, next section, I'm going to show you how. Okay. Then we have college, and that's when stuff really starts getting crazy and adulting becomes more and more real. Because then we have like classes. We're trying to be professionals. We're trying to uh figure out where am I at in the adult world, you know, and plus also this is the first time that you're ever, you know, kind of on your own a little bit more. And that is also a different feel. And you have a lot more to learn and a lot less play time. But then you get it as an adult, and if you get married, have kids, I mean, you do have playtime with your kids, don't get me wrong, but it's not playtime for yourself. Do you see the difference? Yeah, it's a huge difference.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

And you need to take that time for you. Okay.

The 15 Minute Play Break

SPEAKER_02 4:12

So what I always recommend doing is taking about like 15 minutes or so. If you can do it a day, that would be fucking fantastic. Oh my God, your life would change so much. You'd probably be a lot more productive and enjoy things a lot more, to be honest with you. If you could do 15 minutes a day, I know that that is not always a luxury everybody has. Okay. Don't tell your boss this, but okay. At one of my jobs, I actually had like a sketchbook and drawing pad and some watercolors in there. And I would spend about 15 minutes to a half an hour sometimes drawing or watercoloring when I needed a little break. Um, and it really actually helped my productivity so much more at my job. It was kind of insane. Like it wasn't like I was, you know, doing brain surgery or anything like that. I was just a file clerk and had to file stuff. And that didn't really take that long to do, technically. So I would kind of do a little playtime with that. And I think that you guys can schedule a little playtime in with your job too. I don't think that some of you can. Some of you can't. I understand that. You know, like if you're driving a bus, it's going to be a little hard for you to kind of do that. But, you know, maybe after work, on your way home, scheduling something that you can do that is just for you. It's it's trying to find those moments and those little glimmers in your day to really spark it off and just make it enjoyable.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

Okay. So when I get back, we are going to talk about what you need to do. All right, I'll see you shortly.

Starting Small When You Have No Ideas

SPEAKER_02 6:37

So, what is it that you love to do? I'm kind of curious. Because I love to do art, but that is not always what some people like to do. Some people like reading, some people love sports, all kinds of sports. Soccer, baseball, basketball, tennis, whatever they want. Pick it pickleball. I mean go with what you love to do. Some people like theater, some people like learning something new. Some people get excitement from like dancing or nature or maybe even gardening or taking care of plants. Sometimes that helps people. Um maybe it's writing, maybe it's fashion. I mean, there's so many different things in this world that we can fall in love with and that we enjoy doing. But we don't often take the time for ourselves to do that. And as an adult, it gets harder and harder to find the time to do it, especially if you have a family. Like it's astounding trying to find 15 minutes in your day for yourself. Um, and that's why I'm encouraging you if you can't do 15 minutes a day, maybe 15 minutes a week, pick a day and a time and make sure you make that, and it is sacred, okay? This is sacred time for you. You do not allow this time to go to anything else but this practice. Because play is just as important as work, as your family. If you're not being playful, are you really showing up for others? You're not filling up your cup in order to show up for others, is kind of one of the ways that I kind of look at play, is that it fills me up so I can fill in more for others. And that's kind of one of the ways that I look at play as a benefit. But you need to make it a sacred practice, and it needs to be at least like 15 minutes. If you only got 10, then okay, 10 is great. We'll go with 10. You need to do that for yourself. A lot of times we have to physically do stuff when we're doing our job. So maybe doing 15 minutes before you get home might be a good idea. You know, stop at a cafe or just kind of take your basketball, start, start dribbling, start shooting off of the building that you're working at. And then maybe take the ball back upstairs into your office so you have it for the next day, and maybe doing it that way. I mean, this isn't really about like doing something great, doing something that is just gonna fucking change the world. This isn't that. This is just you genuinely doing something that you love to do and making sure that you're able to do that. Now, some people also love like theater. If you were like a theater kid and you kind of miss that, maybe start looking up some monologues of some plays and stuff like that, or you know, start learning a song if you like music and theater, do a musical number, start practicing, start singing. Um, and then maybe like record your sessions so like maybe once a week you can see how you're progressing and you can see your progress as you go, which would be kind of exciting to see. You know, maybe work on a monologue. If you like dancing, just start practicing some moves and film yourself. You nobody has to see it, just you. It's just for you. So, you know, film your progress, see how you're progressing because that makes you feel stronger, that makes you feel empowered that this I am actually improving just with these like 15 little minutes. Okay, it's kind of crazy. This way, it's a practice, and also I gotta be honest with you, if you do have kids and you do take that 15-minute time, it shows your kids that you prioritize yourself as much as you do them. And that's kind of a good thing because that way you're not prioritizing everybody out, filling up everybody else's cup and then ignoring yours. Because oftentimes we get depleted just energetically from the bullshit of life, and sometimes we need to be able to do that for ourselves, and we have to fill up our own cup, our own creativity, if you will. And that is a good way of thinking about this as more of a practice for you. Now, also, what kind of this does too like if you have a physical job and you're constantly go, go, go, go, go, and if you wait to do this afterwards, it kind of also switches your brain from like work mode into personal life mode. Because I was a little shocked when my spirit guides told me that I needed to have more fun and that I needed to get back into doing something that I loved. They didn't care what. They didn't care what. So I picked art because that's something that I always enjoyed doing, and it I know that it's something that I can do in a short period of time and not have to commit too much. Um, but I can at least get it started. This isn't about making something great, okay? It's it's not because let me show you. Okay. When I started doing this, this has been about two weeks now that I've been doing this. This is some of the stuff that I've been doing. Okay. I started off with some watercolors because quite honestly, I I'm just like, oh my God, I have no ideas. I have no idea what to make. What do I sketch? What do I draw? What do I paint? Is there something that I need to do? Is there something that I should be doing? I I'm just kind of like, I don't even know where to start. So then I finally calm myself down. I'm just kind of like, no, no, we're not spiraling, we're not overthinking here. You just need to put something on paper. I mean, that's that's it. Just put something on paper, you'll be fine. You'll be fine. And so I thought about some of the different things and different classes that I took, and what were some of the introductions to get you started, type of thing. And one of them was like watercolor, just slapping some different colors on the pages, letting it dry, and then like the next day, see if you see some shapes or some forms that kind of come out of it that kind of make a different world or something that you can uh draw or fill in in order to create something. That's how I ended up doing it. So I ended up just lapping some colors down. Now, I don't know what I see yet in this. Because I'm still waiting for that to come. And maybe I need to add more paint. That might be the solution. See if I can find an image that might come through that that's speaking to me. Okay. And you just keep going and you just keep trying. Because, like this one, for some odd reason, I feel like this is kind of a horse and a palm tree, but I don't know. And you can kind of turn it different ways and see what you what you see, what you think you see, you know. Like I said, it's just a practice. This is just for you. I'm not gonna hang these up in some gallery. This is just for me, you know, just to make some art. And so I kind of turn it around and see what I see. It's like, oh, maybe those are little bushes on a hillside and something. I can I can figure that out later, you know. But I put some colors down, and if I don't like the painting, then I'm gonna add some more paint. Because that's what I did with like this one here. Because this one did actually kind of have a shape come out of it for me a little bit, and it kind of reminds me of the dark crystal for some odd reason, but it kind of looks like one of the little elfs here, but I don't know if it's like long-legged type of elf or what, but I've kind of added some different colors in there just to kind of add some like hair or some different feel to it, and I'm still exploring and trying to figure it out, but also that at least got me inspired. That was like my first week, okay, of doing this. My second week was doing a little bit more drawing, and this is the inspiration picture here. Um, and this is what I drew.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

So bring them in.

Alchemizing Fear Guilt And Shame

SPEAKER_02 17:22

But you know, I kind of was getting some shading and some stuff, and I'm like, I'm really liking that. That's looking pretty good. That's not too bad. I go, but the hands are a little proportionally not the best. But, you know, I got the figure there at least. And then today I'm gonna do a little bit more. But this is the thing. You have to start somewhere. It's like if even if you're doing like a sport or something like that, you're probably just honestly gonna have time to just do drills, is essentially it. I mean, like practicing dribbling the ball for soccer or for basketball. Sometimes it might be hitting hitting the bat or like practice throwing, you know, up against a wall and just kind of getting the ball back so you don't have to run all over the place. But it's stuff like that that is gonna get you into a practice of improving yourself, being a part of the thing that you love to do, even if it's just a little bit. And, you know, like see how you improve. That's all that it's really about. When I started doing this, I there were some unexpected things that kind of came up that I was not expecting at all, to be honest with you. And the first one was fear. What if I'm not good enough? What if I can't commit to this? Like, these are the thoughts that are going through my head, you know, and I'm just sitting here going, like, okay, okay, all right, brain, brain, can we need to have a little talk, okay? So I would sit down and I'd just be like, okay, fear, I can tell you're scared about starting this. What is it that makes you think that you're not gonna be good enough? Well, I sat down and I wrote this down on a sheet of paper. I'm not gonna read it to you. I'm just gonna try and get it from my memory because I already threw it away. But if you write it down, then you can read it back to yourself, and you're just gonna go be like, oh, that is really illogical, not really a fear. So when I say, What if I'm not good enough for this? I'm like, what if this is just 15 minutes to practice to get good enough to do this?

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Isn't that a different way of thinking about it?

SPEAKER_02 20:24

That this is more of a practice. You're just allowing yourself some time and some grace just to be able to begin, to start anew. And that is where you find some of the joy in the play. So talk to your fear if that's a thing that's coming up. Talk to your self-doubt and just being like, hey, you, come here. We need to have a little pep talk. You got this. You have done art for 20 plus years. Okay. Now, granted, you've kind of stopped doing it for the last 20 years, but that's okay. You started up again, and it's not gonna be your greatest work, but this is the practice of getting to great greater, okay? You have to start it now, not later, but now because each day that you practice, the better off you get. That is how you alchemize a thought. Okay. Now, I also had some guilt and shame come up because it's just like, oh my god, the word. Is fucking burning around me, and here I am. I'm doodling on a notepad. For what? What how is this gonna help the world? Well, it's not, but it is gonna make me feel better in my little part of the world because I'm getting back to doing something that I genuinely love to do, and making it mine, and that's what you need to do for you. Also, how you alchemize a thought, and then there are more other important things than my needs one, get over that shit. Because the world, according to you, is you. That doesn't sound like you're committing to yourself or filling your cup before filling up others. You know, you gotta put on your own oxygen mask first before you can help others on that airplane. So you need to do that in your real life as well. You have to kind of say, hey, Gil, shame. I I I see you, I'm hearing what you're saying there, but I am also a priority in my life. And this isn't gonna take that much time from my life in order to take 15 minutes a day for myself. Now, like I said, this is a practice I just started doing like a couple weeks ago. So I'm still kind of new to this as well, and I've had to alchemize my thoughts because they keep coming up, they are gonna keep coming up, and you are gonna have to keep convincing that ear tofu that hey, I am a priority, I am worth that 15 minutes so I can fill back up my cup. So when the world is crumbling around me, I can at least say I am full. Just a little bit, and not full of shit. I am full of happiness, I am full of satisfaction, I am full of security, and I am full of creativity within myself.

unknown 25:28

You can't do it.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

I know you can't.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

Now, another thing that also kind of came up for me was that adults aren't supposed to play. That we should leave childish things behind, if you will. And that's a belief that somebody else had, that is not my thought. Because I fully believe that as an adult, you should totally be able to have some play and some whimsy and some fun in your life. It doesn't have to be all serious all the time. Okay, my little joker? Why are you so serious, son? But you have to look at those kinds of beliefs and just be like, where did that come from? Did that come from a family member? Did I get that from school? Did is that something that society put on me? You know, this is why looking at your beliefs is important, is because then you're really questioning, is this what I believe? And I am a big proponent of going through your belief system about every five years. Just do a double check, just kind of like, do I still believe that? Do I still believe that? Do I still believe that? And if it doesn't, then you need to let it go. If you don't resonate with that, because I don't resignate that adults should should let go of childish things, I think adults should embrace childish things. It makes it more fun. It really does. But these are the things that are getting in the way our brain. That's it. We have to fight our brain, I think, more than anything else during the day. And how you do that is you have to alchemize your thoughts, you have to reword and reprogram them so that not just your brain believes it, but your body believes it, your soul, your soul fucking believes it. Okay, and when you can turn that thought, and I'm addressing my feelings too, I'm addressing my guilt, my shame. I am not avoiding any of those feelings. In fact, I'm bringing them out, I'm talking to them directly and saying, Hey, I understand your point, but I don't think it applies here. And here is why. And you are showing your brain proof that it's bullshit. And that is a powerful tool to have in your toolbox when stuff like life happens because you can reword your thoughts, you can reword your feelings, you can redirect it the way you want to go. Because you're in charge of your life. That is the only constant in your life is you. So what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Are you gonna alchemize your thoughts and actually have a little fun? Or are you gonna sit here and not have as much fun and be in your head all day? Because that is a choice. And I gotta say, I would prefer the fun over being in my head any day of the week. One of the things that also happens is when you actually turn your thought completely around, it actually gives you more power. Because you are taking control of the situation because you have control over your mind, your body, and your spirit. Your holy trinity is something that you can control, and when you take back that control from fear, guilt, shame, it releases you to be able to do these things without question, without fear, without judgment. And then you start having the fun. Okay, that's what we're trying to get to. It's gonna take you a little while to get there. I know it is, because I'm going through this as well. But this is power, this is inner strength. And that, my friend, is amazing. Incredible.

unknown 31:06

So incredible.

SPEAKER_02 31:09

That feeling that you get when you just like, yeah. You want to know something? This isn't the greatest drawing, but you want to know what is. I really love the shading in this, I really love the thistle, I really love the dimensionality that's coming across in this, and I've only just started. That's also how you change your thought of like, oh, that's such a piece of shit. But look at that. That's kind of fun, it's got some dimension to it. So, yeah, this does look a little cartoony, but you know, I just started. I had one 15-minute session. There we go. Next time, it'll be up a little bit better than next time. It's gonna evolve, it's gonna grow, it's gonna develop.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

And that is what is exciting about practicing with play.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

So, I'm gonna leave you for a little minute, and then we'll be back, and I'm gonna show you how to schedule it. All right, we'll be back. How'd how'd your break go? Did you enjoy it? I know I enjoyed mine. I'm just on the Edinburgh campus here today, just filming this last little bit. But I also wanted to let you know, I've also repeated this like 20 million times already in this podcast episode of how to schedule this. But I'm gonna do it for you just one more time. Because you need to play. Okay, that was terrible, but that's okay. We embrace our cheese here. We embrace it. So, what you're gonna do is you are going to give yourself that 15 minutes that you need in your day. If you can do it at work, like if you work at an office, I highly encourage doing that. Oh, do I ever highly encourage doing that? You know, people have smoke breaks. Why can't I have a play break? It it does, it increases your productivity. Just tell your boss that. Tell him Auntie Robinson that I'm sure that they'll appreciate that. If not, you know, spend your 15 minutes before you head home from work. And that way you can, you know, transition from work life to personal life. And then from there, if you can't do that, you know, try and at least do maybe 15 minutes a week. If you can only do 10 minutes, then do 10 minutes. You need a little bit more than five, though. Sorry. But this is how you start this, this is how you develop this into a practice, this is how you get better. And there is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with getting better and improving yourself. Because isn't that what we're supposed to do? Is be the best little fucking human beings we can. So go out and be the best fucking human being you can, all right. I have no idea as of yet what I am going to do for my next episode. I have been pondering that. I may actually go back to the last couple episodes that I have done and start talking about how to work through like the stuff that's coming up in your brain when you're doing this. Because there is a lot of stuff, like our brain prevents us from doing so much stuff that we really should be doing. And maybe I need to teach you guys how to alchemize some of that. So that might be what I'm doing. I'm not really sure. I'll find out next month, okay? And come back next month and you'll figure out what I'm doing too. All right, your auntie loves you. Bye bye.