The World Needs You's Podcast
The World Needs You Podcast is your go-to resource for mindset transformation, self-discovery, and inner growth. Hosted by Shelsea and Chris Novosel, this podcast dives into candid conversations on personal development, exploring how to unlock your full potential and live with purpose.
The World Needs You's Podcast
The Sum of 5: How Your Circle Defines Your Growth
In this episode of The World Needs You, we dive into the profound influence of the people you surround yourself with. Inspired by the idea that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, we explore how your inner circle impacts your mindset, habits, and overall success.
Are your relationships helping you grow, or holding you back? Tune in to learn how to audit your circle and curate an environment that supports your highest potential.
Instagram: @TheWorldNeedsYouPodcast
Facebook.com/TheWorldNeedsYouPodcast
Welcome to the World Needs you podcast, where we dive into the journey of mindset, self-discovery and inner growth.
Speaker 2:We're your hosts, Chris and Chelsea Novosel, and we're here to have real, candid conversations about what it means to live with purpose and unlock your full potential.
Speaker 1:Each week, we'll explore the tools and strategies that can help you cultivate a strong mindset, embrace who you truly are and make a meaningful impact in the world.
Speaker 2:Whether we're sharing our own experiences or learning from our incredible guests, we're here to remind you that the world needs what only you can offer.
Speaker 1:So get ready to dive deep, grow and step into your power, because the world needs you. Power because the world needs you. Hello and welcome to another episode of the World Needs you podcast. Thanks for joining us. Today we are going to go over the power of influence, the power of your circle that you surround yourself with, and why it is so important to really pay attention and to become aware of the people that you have in your life.
Speaker 2:What's up, babe?
Speaker 1:So wait, should we talk about how we tried to record this podcast this morning at 3 am, 4 am, but the baby was awake, of course, and she wouldn't go back to sleep. So then we tried to put her in a high chair and let her just do her thing, and she did her thing, and that episode was crap.
Speaker 2:It wasn't crap. It was a beautiful, chaotic mess of real life. In the Novocell household there's no safe time ever.
Speaker 1:There's no safe time. So right now we have Kalina, our oldest, putting the baby down.
Speaker 2:Which is her thing. Anyways, she likes doing it.
Speaker 1:She loves it. Hopefully we're safe, fingers crossed. We love starting this episode out with talking about what's on our mind and our heart. So what is on your mind and heart today?
Speaker 2:Just trying to evolve. I'm really just working on myself and a lot of different levels, trying to bring others with me, which is obviously kind of what we're talking about here today Really trying to show up the best I can. I feel like there's ways I can show up better for you, better for our girls. That comes first for me and then really for everything else I'm going out in the world and doing, trying to really evaluate and evolve.
Speaker 1:I like it. What's on my mind and heart is similar, like definitely wanting to evolve in different ways, but specifically our home and having a clean, organized home. I want our house to look like a model home. That's ideal. I want to get rid of everything. I want to get rid of all the crap, all the clutter, which, if y'all even knew how much time you spend on cleaning up the little, teeny, tiny things like little toys and things like the girls actually play more when things are clean and organized, yeah, so first world problems first world problems, too many things.
Speaker 1:And speaking of when I was in India, when we were in Vrindavan, we had a guide and when we went to his house, it was incredible to see how they lived in this little, teeny, tiny, one bedroom house and they had a baby and the baby was about Mala's age, so let's say a year or so. She had one toy, one toy, and they had no clutter, nothing. They lived very simply, they're very happy and they had a lot less than us.
Speaker 2:So just saying, so time to let me get a farm.
Speaker 1:A little hut on a farm? Yes, but yeah.
Speaker 2:And a camper that was our that was a proposal that you denied.
Speaker 1:No, I'm too claustrophobic for that.
Speaker 2:I will take at least four bedroom minimum house on a farm, sure, I can get you a nice RV. I'm telling you that thing is souped up. I'm good we're good.
Speaker 1:I went to a friend's house recently and she had no clutter, nothing. It was like everything was in its space and it was so inspiring. So that kind of brings us into our topic today of how the people that we surround ourselves with influence us, and I think of that cliche quote that we've all heard you are the sum, or the average of the five people that you surround yourself with. Do you believe that to be true?
Speaker 2:Yes, cause I surround myself around you and my three daughters and the dogs and I act like all of them. Yes, I believe it to be true.
Speaker 1:I'm just being being an idiot and then there's this other saying if you hang out with five smart people, you'll become the six. If you hang out with five stupid people, you'll become the six. It's just, our energy is very contagious. I always say our energy is sticky.
Speaker 1:So the people that you are around, like you, have to be aware of who you're hanging out with, and I think I've become more aware of this too're hanging out with, and I think I've become more aware of this too, even just starting, like over the summer, where I remember I would tell you like I really only want to let friends like close, close friends in my life, of people that I would consider trading lives with. Could you see yourself trading lives with them? And if the answer is, like hell, no, then maybe you need some new friends, because I'm curious with you. How is this true for you? Whether it's, you know, growing up I know right now we spend a lot of family time together, but I mean, you still have friends that you've grown up with that are still close friends of yours.
Speaker 1:So how have they been influential? Or like have you had situations in your past that were, you know, rough crowds that you had to get away from, or anything like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know I look back. I've had multiple interactions. I think a lot of us can look back at that. Were we making maybe questionable decisions in our life and who were we hanging out with and where were we making decisions where we felt very happy in what we were doing and we felt like we had support and we had people around us that we were really excited about? And, yeah, I'm fortunate to to have friends that I'm still friends with from when I was a young kid. I think it's very unheard of these days and definitely feel grateful to have that. Throughout our growing up, I think we've changed a lot, but a lot of it's like any relationship you're not giving up on each other.
Speaker 1:You continue to I was just gonna say is jeff a good?
Speaker 2:oh gosh. Yes, jeff is a good influence on me uh, you were probably the bad influence.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was.
Speaker 2:But he, he was a good influence that tried to help me come to the good decisions, but he also stuck with me through the bad ones and just was like dude, see, I mean, but also challenged me, challenges me throughout my life, and I think that's part of what keeps people around and what I'm attracted to when it comes to a friendship. When you give me the real stuff, like if you tell me in a way that's encouraging, in a way that's trying to make me better, and you stand next to me and say, hey, I, I see this, I think you could grow here. I really see you're chasing this goal. How can I help?
Speaker 2:I think that's really the ideal individual I want to be around that's not afraid to maybe call me out on my own BS and say, hey, here's what I see Like. I respect you as an individual. What do you think I mean? There's a certain way to go about that. People that want better for you and for themselves. I think is the main theme there.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I grew up in a small town where there was a lot of drugs, a lot of heroin, and I still think about how I could have gone down such bad paths with different people if I got stuck in certain groups, which, thank God, I did not. But I think about a girl that I was friends with in elementary and middle school that got me to smoke cigarettes when I was in seventh grade to try. It Didn't like it, but I remember she went on and was like in rehab later in life for heroin and I think about that. I'm like, oh man, so I'm really protective over our girls and who they're friends with too. I think that's I mean. What did we see they're friends with too? I think that's I mean. What did we see? There was some meme that we saw that was like I will literally move States to get my kids away from bad friends if I have to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure I'm learning and seeing right now is that my mom, especially with me, I mean, didn't really try to control my friendships too much. Or you know, poor Joan over there just trying to survive with me and my brothers, but yeah, she didn't try to say I shouldn't hang out, even with my older brothers. I mean, there had to be a point where there was decisions she had to make which drew my brother away from those friends. But that's a deeper story. But at the end of the day, you, you got to allow yourself to figure it out and I think we have to learn that with our girls too. And even if you move to another state, I think they're still going to be attracted to a similar energy. Or I don't know, like, why do kids do that?
Speaker 1:And I think it's like they're seeking attention and love and as long as they're getting that from home, they're not going to need it as much like the outside validation. So how do you evaluate your current circle? How would you examine your circle and say, okay, this is working or not working?
Speaker 2:It's pretty simple for me. I think if you've got, if you're friends with somebody, you should want great things for them. That's what a friend is. Is somebody that I mean, yeah, someone that you get along with, maybe someone that has similar values, similar things that they're interested in, that you both like? But at the end of the day, I think it's always a good question to ask yourself when you're with other people Am I truly rooting for this person? Do I really want the best for that person? And I think it's a basic thing. If you're calling this person a friend, you should really want them to do great things and it should come in return.
Speaker 1:Have you ever had a frenemy? Do you know what?
Speaker 2:a frenemy. Is Someone that?
Speaker 1:poses as your friend. They seem like they're supportive, but really they're talking crap.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's a girl thing. I've just had straight up enemies. I feel like that is a girl thing.
Speaker 1:I feel like I've experienced that where it's like are you really happy? For me, it doesn't seem like it yeah. Or are you mocking my interests?
Speaker 2:There's always different scenarios. Yeah, it could be, or it could be your own, it could be my own thing, just thinking, assuming.
Speaker 1:In terms of evaluating people, to pay attention how you feel when you leave their presence. So when you're with them afterwards, are you drained? And if you're drained, that's probably an indication that maybe they're not good or it could just be that you're an introvert. But if you know you're an extrovert and you are drained, like to me, you should be energized and excited to hang out with somebody and excited and energized and feel uplifted when you leave them.
Speaker 2:And I just I think a lot of us don't even think about it we're like, oh, we're hanging with this person, we have fun doing this and we don't think about it.
Speaker 2:But one thing I would point out with that. You said, yeah, do you feel drained or energized, or whatever the case may be. But one challenge that I would put out there for anybody listening and this may not pertain to everybody, but with drinking, like a lot of times in American culture, we drink and things like that, which is fine every now and again, in my opinion, but everybody's got their own thing. But yeah, are they draining your energy? Are they energizing you? But you want to think about that with a sober mind, and a lot of times we're drinking with these friends, and so the challenge is to test a couple of times, try to not drink and just hang out with them and get to know each other without just having to surface level talk around drinking type topics. And one of the things that you and I had noticed in the past is how much you feel drained energetically when you're not drinking and other people are, and how much you're just sensitive and aware to that energy.
Speaker 1:It's pretty crazy 100% Like hanging out with people and you're not drinking, and they're drinking and then, because you're not doing the quote, unquote toxic thing, they're pissed, you've triggered something in them and they're like, well, you're supposed, you're not supposed to change, you're supposed to like this thing that I like, and it makes me feel bad when you're doing the good thing.
Speaker 1:So, and it's like crabs in a bucket and they're pulling you down. So you have to pay attention to stuff like that too. But I just read recently that we actually have mirror neurons in our brain, that so, on a subconscious level, we mirror the people around us so much, so, like I don't know if you've ever noticed if you ask somebody to take a picture of you and you watch them taking a picture of, like you and your friends smiling, they're smiling Cause it's like their mirror neurons are automatically smiling, like it's like. Another thing, too, is when we've done 75 hard, how many people have wanted to jump on that? You're doing this thing, I want to try it, I want to do it, and even if they didn't complete it, the fact that they want it, like we were some sort of an influence to put them on a better track, is incredible.
Speaker 2:Well, it's intriguing not to get too much into 75 hard on this episode, but that program is just intriguing because it's simple things that everybody knows and can agree on is good for you and it's like, well, you're doing this is good for you, I should, I should do this too. Like it sounds like it makes sense, but it's a lot harder than you think and that program really changed my perspective on a lot of things. But really, with the alcohol thing, I think that's the biggest thing that I can, I'll be able to, or I'll never lose that experience Like I. It's changed my relationship with alcohol, which now I I will drink every now and again. I like bourbon but at the same time I just I grab bourbon just like somebody would grab a Diet Coke, like it's something I enjoy but it's not something I have to have.
Speaker 2:Just smirking about over there.
Speaker 1:It's not quite like someone's, not that, yeah, but I don't drink that.
Speaker 2:I don't really drink soda like that, and it's not good for you.
Speaker 1:I know I'm thinking of the average american that's drinking diet coke all day long.
Speaker 2:It's not like you're drinking bourbon at 12 well, some people that you know, depending on who you're talking about, some people really like their bourbon.
Speaker 1:No, I'm saying you, you're saying you drink it like the average person drinks Diet Coke.
Speaker 2:No, my point is that when someone grabs soda, which typically is not good for you, it's not changing your brain or your decision-making and things, but all that sugar really isn't good for you, that additional sugar.
Speaker 1:It's because of his diet it doesn't have sugar.
Speaker 2:Well, that's good. Fake sugar, good for you. That additional sugar we've? It's a bit of his diet. It doesn't have sugar. Well, that's good. The fake well, yeah, it's fake sugar. But the point is, is that's something that's not good for somebody? Just, I mean, alcohol is not good for somebody in a different way, but it's something that when I'm grabbing it, I enjoy this. I'm not grabbing it because I need it. I'm not grabbing it because I need I'm falling into social pressures or whatever. I'm grabbing it. I'm conscious with that choice. I think that's the the main point I'm trying to make.
Speaker 1:There is just be conscious, even if you grab Diet Coke well, I think when you do anything different, it helps you see who's actually on your team and who is not on your team, because we've had situations like, remember we tried to be vegan back when we lived in Florida and it was like a weird thing.
Speaker 1:So when I was, never again when I was pregnant with Ayana, I had a thing where meat was repulsive to me when I was pregnant with. I was an adversion. I started making more and more vegan food and different things and it was good when we were doing it. But the point that I'm trying to make is we would go to people's houses and be the weird vegan people you know, like certain people would not be on board. They'd be like what, Hello Reagan, what's that?
Speaker 2:I don't think it was really like that there, but yeah, I mean. But even still, I love that experience because I recommend anybody to try it and it may work out for everybody's different, but I think that's another hard thing. It's a good thing to try. I think any diet like that that's meant to challenge your health and see what makes you feel better is good. But yeah, you're right, it definitely makes people second guess their decisions. But I think, like you said in the beginning, who's on your team or whatnot? It really comes back to the person. They may be on your team around that thing down the road when maybe they see the light for them. But a lot of times we're all trying to attack life here a certain way and sometimes we just fall into the autopilot mode of things going on every day and just all the responsibilities and I think it just goes back to the person that they something that they're not ready to make that step in themselves.
Speaker 2:So it kind of makes them feel a certain way when they see others do it.
Speaker 1:Right, there was this Harvard study where, if your friend is obese, you are 57% more likely to become obese, even if that close friend lives in a different state. That you're more likely to become obese Isn't that insane?
Speaker 2:That is.
Speaker 1:Go back to the fact that energy is so sticky and you got to be careful who you let in your circle. Keep your circle small, keep it intimate. That's huge.
Speaker 2:That's why I whine sometimes, by the way, because our girls whine a lot, so sticky energy.
Speaker 1:Okay, god, but okay. So let's just say, someone wants to know, like, how do I curate my circle, like how do I make sure that I'm surrounding myself with people that are going to influence me in the best ways?
Speaker 2:This is something I think we both are working on to really understand and expand as well, because it's hard and we've come across a lot of amazing people and sometimes there's seasons too.
Speaker 2:You've got seasons where you are around certain crowds that maybe are your goals at that time or attracting that crowd, and as you continue to get aware of what your goals are, it's going to change. So being adaptive to change too is something very important to be mindful of when you're thinking about OK, how do I curate the people? I want to be around, slow down and think about values that you have, the goals that you want. Really write down that stuff journal it, really get clear on what it is that you want and then think about the people that are going to be promoting that type of energy. You know, I think church is always a good place to go to if you're into that. There's different gatherings and communities around you that may support where you're at there and I think there's a lot of different communities out there that for pretty much everybody that you could find that will support your but I think it's also important to recognize that people are still human.
Speaker 1:So let's just say, you're going to church thinking that you're going to meet these like perfect people and then you realize that they're human yeah and you're disappointed in their actions because that's happened. I'm only human, after all.
Speaker 2:Sorry, no, I agree with you. Any space you're getting into again, if you're clear with your goals and you're going to church, think when you're meeting people, yeah, you may have an expectation of church people, whatever, but if you're clear with your goals, you're still going to attract the people that you're really thinking about because you're conscious. When you're conscious, amazing things happen. But that's the problem.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we become unconscious and then we allow others that don't align. Absolutely yeah. When you focus on your own vibration and how you're showing up, so that there's another piece to it too, in curating your circle, how do you show up? How do you show up for your friends, for your people? Are you encouraging? Are you draining? Are you a challenger? Are you somebody that's going to uplift your friends and push them to do the damn thing?
Speaker 2:That's the tagline every episode. Now I guess when I'm at in my point of my life right now. Yeah, I'm definitely in a place where I feel confident that my energy is safe and it's going to be uplifting. I've definitely been in places I guess I would go. The other way is when I was in a place where I didn't realize but I was falling more into a victim mindset in a lot of different ways that I maybe could have been draining to others and strong friends like we talked about I've had through the years. I think that's pretty cool to have that too, when you have that bond of friends that stick with you through thick and thin.
Speaker 1:But also my loving wife and kids and and all that couldn't have pushed through without you and them and everything yeah, it's definitely important because when, when you become aware of how you're showing up for people, then you're going to be a vibrational match for the people that you attract in for the most part. But I mean, I think you still have to have boundaries and okay, here's a situation. Help me out with this one. What do you do if someone wants to hang out with you? They're not a vibrational match, like you know, like you just don't want their sticky energy on you. What do you do that? Do you tell them hey, I don't want your sticky energy.
Speaker 1:No no, but do you avoid it, Do you? You know how do you do that?
Speaker 2:I think it's a test. It's a test. It's a test for you. Do you really want your goals that you say you want? Because if you really do, then you're going to continue to make decisions in your life and your day to day. That's going to support that. And if you decide to bend on, letting them in more than you really knew that you should, then I think you're also bending on your goals and what you want out of life.
Speaker 1:Oh, mic drop, I love it.
Speaker 2:Boom boom.
Speaker 1:So the people that you allow in if they're not in alignment with your goals. You need to take responsibility for the reason why your goals are not being achieved and to seek out people that are of a good influence. Nowadays we can look at social media as a bad thing. Right, it can drain us. You know, especially Facebook. You get on Facebook and you've got family members and this, that and the other. They're all fighting over politics and everything, and that is not energy. You want to go down, but you can curate your Instagram. Only follow the people that truly, truly inspire you, Follow people that influence you in a good way, and unfollow the people that drag you down. Think about that. When you go through your social media, are you looking at people that are dragging you down? Where is your mind going, when is your energy going when you're entering these different people's?
Speaker 2:energy. We talk about who we surround ourselves in, but a lot of us spend a lot of time on our phones, and that's one thing to evaluate. It's one thing I've been evaluating even more recently. But, yeah, like, what you're watching on your phones, what you're watching on TV, that's essentially what you're hanging out with that energy. So, yeah, what you're scrolling, what you're following, it's going to have an impact on your goals and what you want to. I think so it's definitely something to really be mindful of. Social media just try to minimize it as much as possible.
Speaker 1:Right, and text conversations. If you have a friend that's draining texter, texting you all the time you gotta yeah. So I mean, there's influence around us everywhere, whether it's television, podcasts, social media, the friends that we surround ourselves with, the people I like to think of the term expanders, the people that we think of that are living the life that we're working towards, that I think we're always working towards the next level and we can think of them as people at the next base camp. So if you're hiking a mountain, they're at the next base camp. So if you're hiking a mountain, they're at the next base camp and they're they're.
Speaker 1:They're people that you can go to to either just get inspiration from if they're not people you know personally, if they're like a podcaster or a Instagrammer or whatever they. They own a business and you look to them as inspiration or it could be somebody that you know personally that you can call and be like hey, what do you think about this business idea? Because that's another thing. If you're looking to do something and you go to people that have not done the thing for advice, bad idea, bad idea.
Speaker 2:And that goes for family too.
Speaker 1:when you're doing the thing, when you're doing the dang thing, when you're doing the thing and when you when they're chiming in oh, oh, I don't think you should do it this way, or that's this or that's that a lot of times, that family member doesn't have any experience with doing that, so be careful on how you let them influence your direction that you're going. I think it's smart sometimes to just not talk to anybody about it. Just do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's something keep your head down and do it, because I'm a share, I like to share, but I've also really learned here recently just keep certain things close to my vest and try to go go after, and just let the action speak for it so any closing thoughts here?
Speaker 2:anytime you're listening to something like this, try to pull one thing out that you can take and put to action. The point of what we're doing here is just trying to have real conversations around real topics that you and I either we feel like we've gotten some experience with or we're still trying to figure out and discover and get better, because that's what we all want. I want that for myself, I want that for you and our family and I want that for everybody else in this world too, and we just had to get clear with our goals, get clear with who we're surrounding ourselves with and get after it. Do the damn thing.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I stole it.
Speaker 1:It's okay, you can steal it. Yeah, so the power of influence pay attention. That would be. My biggest thing is just pay attention. Pay attention to how you feel with the people that you interact with and, once you pay attention, make the shifts and changes that you need to make. And it will be uncomfortable if you have to let certain people go and it will be uncomfortable if you have to set new boundaries around people that drain the life energy out of you.
Speaker 1:But you have to put yourself first wow, beautiful hon all right, let's go off to jujitsu now yes all right everyone. Thank you so much for joining us and, as always, keep growing, keep learning and we will see you on the other side. Peace.