The World Needs You's Podcast
The World Needs You Podcast is your go-to resource for mindset transformation, self-discovery, and inner growth. Hosted by Shelsea and Chris Novosel, this podcast dives into candid conversations on personal development, exploring how to unlock your full potential and live with purpose.
The World Needs You's Podcast
Mastering Emotions: The Power of Emotional Intelligence
In this episode, we dive deep into the world of emotional intelligence (EI)—what it truly means, why it matters, and how it shapes the way we interact with ourselves and those around us. We explore the signs of high versus low emotional intelligence, painting a vivid picture of what life can look like without this vital skill. If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem to navigate social situations with ease while others struggle, this conversation is for you. Most importantly, we’ll share practical tools and exercises you can use to cultivate more emotional intelligence in your own life, helping you strengthen your relationships, self-awareness, and overall well-being.
Tune in for an eye-opening discussion that can transform the way you connect with yourself and others.
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Welcome to the World Needs you podcast, where we dive into the journey of mindset, self-discovery and inner growth.
Speaker 2:We're your hosts, Chris and Chelsea Novosel, and we're here to have real, candid conversations about what it means to live with purpose and unlock your full potential.
Speaker 1:Each week, we'll explore the tools and strategies that can help you cultivate a strong mindset, embrace who you truly are and make a meaningful impact in the world.
Speaker 2:Whether we're sharing our own experiences or learning from our incredible guests, we're here to remind you that the world needs what only you can offer.
Speaker 1:So get ready to dive deep, grow and step into your power, because the world needs you. Power because the world needs you. Hello and welcome to another episode of the world needs you podcast. Today, we are going to dive into something that is so important. It might be one of the most important traits that a human can have what is on your mind and heart today? Because this is how we start every episode what is on your mind and heart?
Speaker 2:today, because this is how we start every episode. What is on?
Speaker 1:your mind and heart. Hello, what's going on? Hey, softening, I'm trying to soften oh yeah, okay, so we have a debate. So this happened yesterday. Oh my God, is it soften without a T? This is how I pronounce it Soften, or how Chris Novosel pronounces it, which is I think it's how.
Speaker 2:ever you feel like saying it, say it again.
Speaker 1:Say it again, say it, say it how you say it? Softening, softening, softening.
Speaker 2:Softening, softening, whatever.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you're practicing that.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm working on softening, but not too much. We got that. Yes, I'm working on softening, but not too much. You know, we got to stay hard. You know what I mean, brother, but uh, no, to reel it in here. Yeah, I think that's just what's on my mind, just trying to get to a point where, come home or here on the weekends, still we're kind of doing stuff. But I feel like just being able to not be so rigid and like having to do this and do that and just trying to soften and relax a little bit and allow yourself to just be present.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a pretty good weekend so far. I was able to hang out when feeling the greatest. Yeah, do you feel?
Speaker 1:normally like you feel pressured to get a ton of stuff done on your to-do list.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just feel I always got a running to-do list, you know. But once I was able to sit on the couch last night and soften up for the UFC fight with the girls, Soften. Soften up. A bunch of blood and fighting.
Speaker 1:It was all good Sounds like you're doing exactly that Lots of softening I'm working on it oh my gosh how about you babe? So my mind and heart. Well, we just got done doing a photo shoot with our friend christina, who was the first photographer we met when we moved here myrtle beach eight years ago. Wait, no, seven years ago.
Speaker 1:Right, it's coming yeah, we're here 2017 so, anyway, shooting with her put me into this nostalgic place where I like I'm reflecting back on all the different photo shoots that we've done together and how the girls were so little and just how fast time is going and it's making me sad that time is flying and my kids are getting older and my babies.
Speaker 1:I don't like it. So, uh, kind of like a similar vibe to you is just feeling like I want to slow down so bad and just soak up every moment and try so like my new thing for this week. My intention for this week, moving forward, is to find little pockets of joy and to find more time for just joyful activities rather than, like you said, having to check off this list that I feel like is never ending. My list is just never ending off this list that I feel like is never ending. My list is just never ending. So you know, going into next week, how can I just like go and enjoy some time with Mala while she's home with me and a little teeny, tiny baby Like what can we do? That's going to be fun and playful.
Speaker 2:So you're not thinking about doing the next thing, or I got to get to this, I got to get to that.
Speaker 1:So often we're home here together and I'm trying so desperately to get stuff done and what happens is I get nothing done, because she's a little baby and she just wants to play and she gets into everything. So if I'm even trying to clean up a mess or put away laundry or do the dishes, she's then creating a mess somewhere else, which then then I have to go clean up that and then just cleaning a mess or like she's making a mess somewhere else, so then I'm going to clean up that. It's like a never ending cleaning up messes. So my goal is to take her out of the house.
Speaker 2:Yeah. To go find things to do outside. She loves outside too, yeah, so more of that Awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so today we are going into, like I said, one of the most important qualities I think a human can possess and that is emotional intelligence. So first let's just go over cause there might be some people that are like what is emotional intelligence? So what is it to you?
Speaker 2:It's just being aware of the energy that you possess and that is surrounding you, I guess, when you're interacting with humans.
Speaker 1:Exactly so. It's the awareness of your own emotions and your emotional reactions, as well as the emotions of other people. So the first thing I think of when I think of somebody with a lack of emotional intelligence is we've all been there with somebody that's just talking your ear off and like you're late, you got to get somewhere, and you're like, okay, when is this conversation going to wrap up, cause I get to get out of here and this person just keeps going on and on and on and they're unaware, they're completely unaware of your maybe like body language or your social cues of trying to wrap up a conversation and they keep it going to where then you gotta be like almost a little rude and direct, Like, hey, I'm really sorry, but I gotta like I gotta go Well that's not rude at all, you're just being direct.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, but it makes you feel rude. Whereas, like, if the person just kind of like, understood and had that emotional intelligence, they would know to wrap it up and let us go on with our day, right, like so it's. I just think that, like, someone with a a high sensitivity to the emotions of those around them are highly emotional, intelligent intelligent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my job is a good example, because I got to speak to doctors within a lot of times with a very small window of time and maybe I've got 30 seconds in between them going into the next patient room you know what I mean and I've got to get out something real quick and sometimes there's other reps where you'll find that you'll hear they take advantage. Yeah, they take advantage, or they just they don't, they're not paying attention. Hey, that doctor needs to get into that office. And they keep talking to them and they get annoyed.
Speaker 2:So it's a good. That's just a good example of where we run into that a lot. We're just. This person needs to handle this thing and so I need if I'm being respectful of them and their time I need to receive that and try to have the emotional intelligence around that.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah. So, speaking of career, there is a Harvard Business Review that says that 90 percent of top performers possess high EI or high emotional intelligence. So if you have emotional intelligence this is why it's important, because you are automatically like, it helps you go into more of like a top performer category. Um, and then some other research I did said that organizations with leaders who have high EI emotional intelligence report 30% higher levels of team engagement and performance, according to a study. So when you are emotionally intelligent and in tune, you can then help impact the people around you in better ways and be a better leader.
Speaker 2:And, ultimately, if you're trying to we were here talking about living our best life, you know, reaching our highest self, kind of stuff and to have emotional intelligence. You need to or you want to have that if you want to connect with people and you want to reach higher levels, because, at the end of the day, if you don't have that, people just aren't really going to want to be around you.
Speaker 1:Right. Why is that? Why is it so uncomfortable to be around people with a lack of emotional boundaries or intelligence? Is it because they're like to me, like I can think of another example of being around somebody that is just like elusive. So let's just say they're like. You just never know, like it's unpredictable, like what's gonna happen next and if they get like really super annoyed or like you know.
Speaker 2:Which that was fun back in college, like it was cool to run across people like that in college. But when you got stuff to do today, you know yes.
Speaker 2:I don't know I think that's what it is. I mean, if you're trying to become better, you're trying to focus on these things in your life that reaches you to higher levels and closer to become better, you're trying to focus on these things in your life that reaches you to higher levels and closer to your goals, then you're going to be more aware of that when you're around people, and so you're not going to want to be around someone where you know, hey, if I hang out with Bobby over here, bobby's just going to take up a lot of my time. It's going to be hard for me to get out of the situation, and then it's going to keep me away from my goals of spending more time with my family, creating a business, whatever it is that I want to do. So I think when you yourself have awareness and emotional intelligence, it's it then becomes hard when you recognize someone else does not.
Speaker 1:Yes, so you have better relationships with people, I think, when you can both come at it from a place of like, just honoring each other's emotional states like not putting each other in stressful situations, because that, like, we all know those people that just don't care and do crazy stuff and then you're in a stressful situation automatically.
Speaker 1:So it enhances and improves your relationships. To me, it reduces stress. When you really, when you possess emotional intelligence and when you are around other people that have emotional intelligence, there's less stress involved. It just feels more relaxed and career success too, so all around really good. So if you are like okay, so how do I get or how do I practice becoming more emotionally intelligent, I believe that emotional intelligence is not fixed. So it's not a fixed thing, like it's not, like you're born with it or you are not. I think it's something that can be learned as soon as you have this like heightened awareness. Now, heightened awareness or self-awareness is kind of hard for some people, but it still can be learned if there's a desire there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I almost feel like you need to have self-awareness in order to do anything to increase your emotional intelligence, and it always starts with that A lot of times in our things, which I think is fine. It's good to have repetition and how you get somewhere with goals, but like self-awareness, presence, presence.
Speaker 2:So it's like almost good in a lot of situations to start there, start with self-awareness start with presence because if you can do that, then and you say, hey, I, I want to become more self-aware so that I can become better. Well, now, I'm becoming self-aware of my emotional intelligence, how I am around people, and maybe, maybe, if I'm really trying to explore, I might ask my friends and how I am around people and maybe, maybe, if I'm really trying to explore, I might ask my friends and tell me hey, am I abrasive here or not?
Speaker 1:Being able to take any feedback. So I think that's one thing too. So if someone gives you feedback and you're automatically defensive, you don't want to take it, you don't, you can't handle it. That is blocking you from your own emotional intelligence, because then there's this shadow side or this part of you that you're you don't want to look at and you want to ignore. So you'd rather just have people be like oh, it's all good, you're great, yeah, right.
Speaker 1:So I think, yeah, being able to receive any feedback is huge on improving your own emotional intelligence. And then also like reflecting on your own feelings and triggers, so recognizing like, hey, I get really triggered when someone does this thing and this emotion comes up automatically. What am I doing? Am I reacting or am I responding? So, yeah, like I think about, you know, in my yoga class, if someone comes in and they're just doing their own thing or like being disruptive in class, I could, if I didn't have emotional intelligence, I could be like, hey, you like turn your phone off or get out of here, you know? Yeah, instead I'd be like hey, guys, and make it a joke. Hey guys, like, make sure you know if you got a hot date tonight, they can wait till later. Turn your phone off Like there's a way.
Speaker 2:One-liner over here.
Speaker 1:There's a way to approach every situation to make it softer. Soften, yeah soften. To soften the situation, to not make it so like emotionally reactive, we are defensive.
Speaker 2:I think this is a tough one for everybody because it's something that is always there but not a lot of people will talk about or even be honest. It's very takes a lot of vulnerability and like having a person that's truly comfortable telling you the truth to be like, hey, you're kind of a little bit too much here, you know.
Speaker 1:Ooh, too much. So people that are too much, Hmm, what do you? How do you handle those people?
Speaker 3:How do you? Here's the question Don't schedule them at all costs.
Speaker 1:No, Block them? No, so like, okay, let's just say you have someone that's around you that does not have emotional intelligence, how do you handle them? So I think boundaries having clear, clear, set boundaries is super important. With anyone who does not have emotional intelligence, you have to have boundaries, and for some people sometimes you can have boundaries and keep them to yourself. And for other people, you got to speak it because they will not. They just continue to do these things that are like evoking this emotion within you, and then you need to be able to say hey, if you do this thing again, I'm going to need to do this. That's what a boundary is.
Speaker 3:It's not don't do this.
Speaker 1:It's not controlling people, it's telling people hey, when you do this, I'm going to do this. Let's just say somebody is explosive around you or they fight with their spouse around you I'm thinking of family members right now and you have to be around them because they're family or you can't get away, right. Then you have to say your boundary could be hey, if you get to that point where you're saying things that make me feel uncomfortable, to that point where you're saying things that make me feel uncomfortable, I'm going to have to remove myself. That is, and boundaries are kind of like a warning, like, hey, I'm giving you this warning that if you do this thing, I'm going to have to do this. So if you talk about whatever it is, then I'm going to have to end this phone conversation.
Speaker 2:So we're getting. I think we're getting to the point, too, where you end this phone conversation. So we're getting. I think we're getting to the point, too, where you you don't trust someone else's emotional intelligence.
Speaker 1:So therefore, you have to set boundaries, exactly, yeah, yeah. And direct communication is absolutely needed with people without emotional intelligence, because you can't trust again, you can't trust that they're just going to understand, like, oh, when I do this thing, it makes her uncomfortable. So you just have, you have, to communicate really, really, really directly.
Speaker 1:And respect your boundaries, yeah, and stick to your boundaries too. I think sometimes that can be hard, and then I think it's important, too to manage your own expectations. So if you have expectations that this family member or whatever oh, we're getting into Thanksgiving coming up here, so this is perfect.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Set boundaries and have emotional intelligence around your family members.
Speaker 1:So let's just say we're at Thanksgiving dinner and Aunt Susie brings up something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Then you can say hey, aunt Susie, if you do that again, I'm going to have to get up and leave. I'm going to have to cut this short and not to feel bad about it. I think, yeah, managing people without emotional intelligence, sometimes you just have to put yourself first, and it doesn't mean that you have to respond in an explosive way. And I think that's something I've learned over the years that, like I would always like you know, I'm thinking of family members like give it back, like if they exploded, I exploded back.
Speaker 2:Now, it's like I think that's why you have drama. That's why you have drama at holiday gatherings, because you don't speak your boundaries and you let things build up. And then they keep doing the thing that always annoys you and you're like listen, Aunt Susie, I'm going to dunk hand you.
Speaker 1:That's how it goes.
Speaker 2:I'm going to flip the table over, poor.
Speaker 3:Aunt Susie, whoever that is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I think okay. So then, we're talking a lot about the emotions and the feelings, so I think, when dealing with someone with a lack of emotional intelligence, it's really important to stick to the facts. You did this. I am now going to do this right. Sticking to facts rather than oh, you're so annoying or you're so rude, you know like.
Speaker 1:Sticking to the facts rather than like getting getting tied up in how the person's making you feel Cause, none of that really matters, just stick to the facts and the things like. I'm not going to accept X, y and Z. I'm going to leave.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because that's what emotional intelligence is. It's recognizing someone else's emotions and being able to match that in a healthy way, versus ignoring their emotions. So if I notice that someone is getting angry because I'm making comments about something that I know is inappropriate, or I can tell it's something that upsets them, I could say, hey, I'm really sorry, I didn't. You know, if I'm having emotional intelligence, I'm recognizing that I'm making them angry and making them anxious and I could, if I was being aware, I'd say hey, I can see, it's making you uncomfortable, I'm sorry, I really didn't intend to do it this way, and then say, oh, it's cool, I just would rather not talk about this.
Speaker 1:That's like the adult way for that situation. That's a healthy emotional intelligence right there.
Speaker 2:But that's not typically how it goes, obviously, but that's what we're talking about here, where you can have a lack of emotional intelligence because I say that the person's angry and then I get mad because they're angry. I'm like what are you angry about, right? And then it just builds off of one another and it turns into a chaotic situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this emotional ping pong match, exactly yeah.
Speaker 2:So, going into Thanksgiving, I would say, think about this stuff, you know, maybe write it down. What are, what are the things that tend to trigger you, if there are any, that when you're going to your gatherings? We live all the way in Myrtle Beach, south Carolina.
Speaker 1:We have the luxury of not having to go into the cracker barrel this year y'all, we just hang together, which is very nice.
Speaker 2:I love my family. I miss being around for the holidays, but it did used to be crazy. I had three different dinners I would go to with a split family and, um, you know, not usually a ton of drama I would say, but I but I mean it's family. There's going to be drama with different situations in general, but it was just a lot. Going to one dinner trying to connect with everybody, then going to another one, then by the last one you're full and you want to split your time with everybody the best that you can, and sometimes it was a little crazy. But yeah, I would say, going into Thanksgiving dinner, be aware of those things that may trigger you, that become, that could become an issue and if you know when you see it happen, you could speak them, speak the boundary. But ultimately, when we're going to hang with our family, we should be having a good time, we should be connecting.
Speaker 1:Should be right. What does Ram Dass say? He said if you think you're enlightened, enlightened, go spend a week with your family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but maybe I mean I just how can we connect better with our families?
Speaker 1:sometimes it's like surface level stuff, but could we, could we even develop questions that we want to ask around things we've never talked about other than like I think a lot of times emotional intelligence and emotional stuff comes up in family dynamics because we are forced these are people that we are, we're not choosing necessarily to be around these specific people, they're just, they happen to be in our lives. So it kind of creates this different dynamic where you don't have a choice Right or for the most part, you don't. Where you don't have a choice right or for the most part you don't. So, like for me, I came from a family that was highly emotional and shut down at the same time. So a lot of emotions, a lot of like explosiveness and unpredictability and on like the other side also like just sweep it under the rug, shut it down, act like nothing happened.
Speaker 1:So I think for me and I'm almost grateful for the situations that I've been through in my life because it's given me such a heightened emotional awareness to where I am aware of everyone's emotions or like hyper aware, hyper empathetic of like, oh, this person's in this state, this person's in that state. Now one of my practices and this is something that I learned from my retreat over last weekend is my practice is to make sure that like, let's just say, somebody's sad that I'm not responsible for that? Because I think I grew up feeling like I'm responsible for everyone's emotions. Grew up feeling like I'm responsible for everyone's emotions so I have I've had work that I'm still ongoing, work of like, okay, that person's really rigid and they're not like letting loose and having fun. I'm not responsible for that and just let them be in that state.
Speaker 2:We used to say this you say it's not mine.
Speaker 1:It's not mine. Yes, I used to say that all the time I forgot about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which, by the way, my retreat I didn't even talk about that was so good. It was so good. So much transformation. So many talk about emotions, so much emotional stuff came up for people. We did breath work on the first night, which always just like cracks people open, and we had some people there that I think maybe cried for the first time in a very, very, very long time and just I mean I still I got text messages from people today saying I can't believe that was a week ago, Like it was so amazing and everything. So I can't wait to do the next one. And that's a great way, a great opportunity to really tune into your own emotions and to just focus on yourself. So you know, maybe it's not a yoga retreat or maybe it's something where you just get away and you do all of the things, but there's something about having that focus, time on you and you alone that helps build that emotional awareness within yourself and with those around you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because why do they call it a retreat? Is it you're retreating back to self? Is that the yeah, you're. What do you think it?
Speaker 1:means Retreat. It's almost like remember.
Speaker 2:Oh, that could go a lot of ways.
Speaker 1:Retreat yourself, it's like treat yourself baby.
Speaker 2:Retreat yourself or retreat back to self, or retreat like go away yeah, yeah, but how can you? But you, like you just said, you don't have to go to a yoga retreat every weekend. How can you retreat back to self, I think?
Speaker 1:journaling is huge but here's the thing a different like I know people that journal just like I ate tofu last night. That shit is not journaling. I'm sorry but it's not. Journaling is like.
Speaker 2:It's documenting?
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a difference between documenting what you did and journaling and really digging into, like the dark emotions that you are afraid to look at, like you got to look at that shit. Yeah. So like journaling, like, hey, I had this really tough moment today. I was really triggered by this journaling about your triggers because that's going to teach you a lot about yourself, and this is one thing I love to do with people. When someone shares with me, let's just say it's like a private yoga client or something like I. This situation happened to me and I was really triggered by it and I'm like, okay, well, can you trace back in your life to the very first time something like that happened to you?
Speaker 1:And then they have to sit there and think and then, more than likely, there's a time from early childhood that is a match and something that hasn't been healed, because a lot of times that's what our triggers are. It's just like unhealed parts of ourselves, and sometimes it's just that simple awareness that can help us manage and deal. And then sometimes it's just like it takes a lot of work, years of work, to get through these triggers and you'll forever be triggered. But hope is that we manage our emotions that are attached to the triggers. Yeah, so, and then? What were you going to say, babe?
Speaker 2:I was just gonna say, by the way, while you were doing your retreat, we were struggling back here at home. I mean, house was a mess. So we were just, you were not, I couldn't retreat, we were struggling back here at home. I mean, the house was a mess. We were just you were not, I couldn't survive. We were playing video games. A little, zelda, you had how many bro dates?
Speaker 1:while I was gone, please, going back to like different things you can do to improve EI, I think, too, is practicing communicating clearly and assertively. I think that is huge. Finding techniques that help you manage stress. So, whether it's breathing, I mean, that's something so simple. A lot of people breathe only in their chest, which keeps us when we're breathing shallow, and in this space right here, right in the chest, when we're not taking deep belly breaths, that is keeping us in this state of fight or flight. So one way to improve our emotional intelligence is to allow the belly to expand and to take deep, full, big breaths, and something just as simple as that can help, again, like that emotional intelligence, but within that, the, the emotional regulation, your own regulation. So, finding things that help maybe it's, you know, finding tools for relaxation, finding ways to get the energy out, like dancing around or going for walks or running or kickboxing or whatever it is I was thinking something.
Speaker 2:What if, starting your day, or before you start your day, you wake up? You get your breathing right, you do your routine, whatever things you're working on, but be intentional. Maybe you bring a journal with you throughout the day, but be intentional in recognizing emotions that you've either felt or that you have recognized others feeling. You can even write it down at the end of the day Like oh, I experienced anger when I ran into Aunt Susie over here. Yes, but it would to me be a cool practice, actually something for myself to try.
Speaker 1:And that movie that our kids watch, what is it called? I can't think of it.
Speaker 2:Which one?
Speaker 1:The movie with the emotions Inside Out. Thanks, Kiki.
Speaker 3:Kiki just walked in.
Speaker 1:Kiki, hey, hop on the mic real quick on Daddy's mic. Come sit on Daddy's lap. I got a question for you.
Speaker 2:What's up?
Speaker 1:dude. So inside out, what emotion do you connect with the most?
Speaker 2:What are all the emotions? Joy sadness and inside out two or inside out one, Both yeah the two has more right yeah, so joy, sadness anger, disgust, embarrassment, um on we wow, you did that really fast what's your favorite?
Speaker 3:one joy. You like joy the most. I just like. I like joy and sadness joy and sadness.
Speaker 1:What makes you connect with them?
Speaker 3:tell me about it, I just like joy because she's happy, and I like sad, and then I like sadness because she's sad, because she's sad is it?
Speaker 2:those are just interesting emotions. Is that what that is?
Speaker 3:yeah, and then I want to like disgust yeah, she does because she's sassy yeah what, um?
Speaker 1:what do you think it means to be emotionally intelligent?
Speaker 3:You know a lot about emotions.
Speaker 1:You know a lot about emotions, mm-hmm yeah, what do you think? If somebody knows a lot about emotions, how do you think they handle stress?
Speaker 3:Stress balls, stress balls, so like they just squeeze stress balls. Yeah, like Daddy does, when he gets mad, I give him my green squishy.
Speaker 2:That helps, thank you.
Speaker 3:Or my blue squishy.
Speaker 1:What would you say to somebody who maybe has a hard time handling their own emotions, like what? Like, let's just say they get angry really really easily, or sad really easily, or frustrated really easily. What should they do to help manage that?
Speaker 3:Like. For what emotion? Let's say frustration, either if you're going somewhere to swing a scissor with you or count to 10. Count to 10.
Speaker 1:That's a good one.
Speaker 2:Taking breaths too. Yeah, good job, kiki, I like it.
Speaker 1:Thanks, keks, thanks for hopping on today. So there you have it, from an eight-year-old, the mind of an eight-year-old, who is insanely emotionally intelligent and aware. And my Pisces, babe. She's such a Pisces through and through. If you don't know anyone, that is a Pisces, she is a water sign, so she's very connected to how she feels and how other people feel around her.
Speaker 2:I learn a lot from Kiki.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too. I think there are probably more people walking around that think they're emotionally intelligent, that are very, very far from it, so we should have like an emotional intelligence test do you.
Speaker 2:I'm sure there's, I'm sure there's a bunch of those bad boys, a lot of people setting boundaries with you there you go.
Speaker 1:That's a big one if you've got a lot of people setting boundaries with you, that's a huge indicator okay. If you've got a lot of people setting boundaries with you, that's a huge indicator Okay.
Speaker 2:Do you have many friends? Do you have people that want to hang out with you? Yeah, I mean it's, it is a good way to. You could be an introvert too, and there's other things to that as well, but I think are people excited to hang out with you? Do they want to to be? Around you in your work environment, in your family environment, whatever it is.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That could be one too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you find yourself in a lot of drama? Because if you find yourself in a lot of drama, more than likely you're the common denominator, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Drama attracts drama.
Speaker 2:Save the drama for your mama. Oversharing is one too, I think, right.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:If you overshare, that tends to be a lack of emotional intelligence, so oversharing is another.
Speaker 1:If you find yourself like, oh man, I shouldn't have said that. If you find yourself in a lot of those situations, that could be an indicator that maybe there's a little bit of emotional intelligence practice that you could do.
Speaker 2:What's the minute you give me? Because I'm a talker. Sometimes I try to be aware of it, but sometimes it feels like a minute and maybe it's five minutes. But what is the? What would you say? You talking for how long without anyone else interjecting would be too long.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, no, I just saw something the other day. If someone says, wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 3:Oh, they're done.
Speaker 1:They're done with you.
Speaker 2:So clear, direct and short, but if you tend to talk without any response more than five to ten minutes, I feel like that's a five to ten minutes is a long time without any response. Well, that's what I said what's well, let's call it five minutes. I don't know, that's what I'm.
Speaker 1:I'm just ping-ponging here I say two minutes, like you really if you're in an active conversation, you shouldn't be talking for more than two minutes. I'm just thinking okay, if you're talking for two minutes without the other person being able to interject anything, you're probably telling a story about something. It shouldn't take you more than two minutes.
Speaker 2:I guarantee you, one of us talked more than two minutes in this.
Speaker 1:I will go back and look. I will check but yeah, so okay, I like, I like these little. Maybe we should come up with an emotional intelligence test and say, yeah, are people, are more than two or three people in your life, setting clear boundaries with you? I are you finding yourself in a lot of drama and and when you talk to people, do they say, wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 3:Whoa bro Wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and if those are yeses, then just practice Like, don't beat yourself up over it and judge yourself, just practice becoming more aware. If you're listening to this podcast, you're probably some. You probably have some emotional intelligence, because this stuff that we talk about has to do with the topic of growth and inner development. So and again, we're not speaking from any point of where you are emotionally like me just sharing what I'm sharing now.
Speaker 2:It's like, yeah, I know I'm aware of some of my areas where maybe I'm not aware. You know I could get better in an emotionally intelligent way when it comes to conversations or really trying to receive and listen to somebody, because when I've come across some people that I was like man, that person was a really good listener and it feels good when you feel like somebody's listening to you.
Speaker 1:Active listening yeah, really good listener and it feels good when you feel like somebody's listening to you.
Speaker 1:so active listening, yeah, active listening is huge with emotional intelligence, um, and if you don't know what active listening is, it's where you allow the person to speak fully and you're present with them without making the conversation about you. So let's just say you're saying hey, um, oh, yeah, I'm going to tell you this story about this time. I went to Colorado and I went snowboarding and this thing happened to me. I went snowboarding and this thing happened to me, and I could be like, oh, I went to Colorado one time. Or I could say, wow, so what did you like most about your time out there? Right, that's the difference with active listening, I think that actually probably is one of my biggest struggles.
Speaker 1:I feel like I do that from time to time, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to relate to somebody in that sense, but I think there's a fine line there of always making it like, always having every single conversation come back to you I did that or I you know those I statements after instead of like tell me more about you. Active listening is like wanting to pull more out of somebody rather than put the spotlight back on you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a good explanation. Great job, Shel.
Speaker 1:Thanks. So any closing thoughts here, honey.
Speaker 2:I felt like there was a lot of good juice in all that A lot of juiciness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say, like I tend to say in a lot of our podcasts, but find one thing that you can cling on to, and you know, emotional intelligence is why would we, why do we care about this, why do we want to get better at this? Well, I want to get better with emotional intelligence because I want to be somebody that is a light to the world, is somebody that is getting better, is getting closer to my goals, able to help others. And if I want to be able to help others, impact others, I need to be emotionally intelligent. So, whatever thing that may be related to you in this conversation today, try to cling onto that. Try to take one or two things and put it into action this week. I think that's always a good reminder, but I like the idea that just of being, you know, being aware of the emotions that come up through the day you know the reminder on active listening.
Speaker 2:I think is really important because we want to receive if I can receive a conversation, make somebody truly feel heard, how can I spread the light to them in their day as well?
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause like really, how are you making people feel around you? What is that quote? People won't always remember what you say, but they'll always remember how you made them feel. So what legacy are you leaving? What are they going to think of you when you're gone? Is it going to be positive or negative? Think about that and then also, what level do you want your relationships to be? You're going to be positive or negative? Think about that and then also, what level do you want your relationships to be? You're going to improve your relationships and I think that's really important with emotional intelligence. Just an improvement of relationships. Improve your success. Make more money, honey. People that have emotional intelligence make an average of 30 grand more per year. That's quite a bit of money extra 30 grand in your pocket just for being emotionally intelligent, just for being aware of other people and how you make people feel. Pretty important.
Speaker 2:So that's awesome, great job.
Speaker 1:Okay, so little announcement we are. We have two more episodes, I believe, until we're going to take a pause for the season and start the next season in January. So we're basically taking December off from recording and letting people catch up. Some of y'all are behind. Come on, catch up and then we'll be kicking off season two. We'll have more interviews with people and different things and if you're interested in being on the show, you can always send us a message on Instagram at the world needs you podcast.
Speaker 2:And, if you would be so kind, we would definitely love any review.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Give us true feedback.
Speaker 2:If you're a friend of ours, family, whatever we love hearing. Hey, what topics would you like to hear more about? What did you really like that we talked about? Try to engage more. I think it's cool. Social media and all this stuff can sometimes be it can be bad or it can be too much and distracting and all these things, but it can also be a way for us all to connect and get better, and one way to do that. You know we comment on social media, instagram and all that stuff all the time, so I think it's always good to remind when it comes to podcasting you know it just helps us connect deeper with each one of you, so please leave us a review.
Speaker 2:Comment Five stars baby. Five stars yeah.
Speaker 1:Two stars, come talk to us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Chelsea will put you in a headlock or something.
Speaker 1:All right y'all? Thanks so much for joining us. As always, keep growing, keep learning and we'll see you on the other side.
Speaker 3:Peace.