🖊️Rewriting the Narrative That’s Holding You Back.

Have you ever stopped to wonder if the story you’ve been living is actually true — or just a survival script you outgrew a long time ago?

In this empowering episode of The Midlife Revolution Unleashed, Wayne and Stacy dive deep into the narratives that often keep us stuck in midlife — and how to start rewriting your story with clarity, courage, and confidence.

Midlife isn’t a dead end. It’s a turning point. And the good news? You hold the pen.

We’ll explore:

• How childhood experiences and early roles shaped the stories we tell ourselves
• Why "the evidence" from our past isn’t the full truth
• Signs it’s time to challenge a limiting narrative
• Practical questions to help you reframe your mindset
• How to reclaim your voice and write a new chapter that reflects your growth, wisdom, and resilience

If you're ready for a mindset shift and midlife transformation — if you're tired of living by outdated rules and are ready to step fully into your next chapter — this conversation is for you.

✅ Listen in and start rewriting the narrative that’s been holding you back.

Subscribe @CoachStacyMLewis and @CoachWayneVIP

💃🏽Stacy M. Lewis
🌍 thestacymlewis.com
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🎩Wayne Dawson
🌍 viptransformativeliving.com
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Transcript

Unknown 0:00

Thanks for watching

Wayne 0:04

You've just stepped into the Midlife Revolution Unleashed, your space to ignite possibility, redefine purpose, and embrace the power that comes with age and experience. Co-hosted by yours truly, Coach Wynn.

Stacy 0:19

And I'm Coach Stacey M. Lewis. We are two-season coaches focused on the midlife community of color. This isn't just a podcast, it's a movement in a world that sometimes forgets the power and the wisdom that comes with it. with age, we are here to ignite a revolution and rewrite the narrative of this incredible journey.

Wayne 0:42

So whether you're navigating your career, growing your business, rediscovering passions, or challenging the status quo, this is your space. So buckle up. Let's dive into the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. My favorite time of the day, favorite time of the week is when I get together with you and we talk about Midlife Revolution Unleashed.

Stacy 1:16

Absolutely. Absolutely. It's so exciting. So excited to see you once again, Coach Wayne. Welcome everyone to the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. I am your co-host, Coach Stacey M. Lewis. I'm a nonprofit executive, a lover of God, and his people on most days and a midlife woman's coach. Let me introduce you to my handsome and well-articulated

Wayne 1:47

coach, Wayne. Thank you, Stacey. I'm feeling super duper great. You know, I'm lying, right? Because I didn't get enough sleep, but I'm going to be super duper great. And thank you for joining us. This is Midlife Revolution Unleashed. I am Coach Wayne, the VIP coach. I work with Black men through midlife, helping them to land softer and bigger, better, bolder on the second half. So, Stacey, today we are going to talk about narratives and scripts. And the fact that oftentimes here in midlife, we have scripts that we play in our heads and in our hearts. And we oftentimes don't let it go and how that gets in the way. And I think today we want to help those listening in to get some nuggets on how to rewrite our scripts.

Stacy 2:45

That's right. your capacity and the possibility of getting there. I think that we've all been handed a lot of scripts in life from our childhood through school years, into our young adulthood, and now even in midlife, there are narratives to tackle. And so I'm excited that we're talking about this today. Coach Wayne, last week, we talked about vision and the fact that you are still becoming the highest self that you are here to be. And so today, we really get to hone in on the narrative that might be hindering your becoming. So I'm looking forward to the conversation.

Wayne 4:04

I'm liking that because, you know, what is real is that the narratives that we play and record in our head actually bring about how we do the becoming. If we tell ourselves through the script or narrative that we have that we're not worthy that it's not possible, that the struggle is real, then I think we start performing and becoming that very thing that we are narrating and listening to.

Stacy 4:43

Absolutely. So we have to ask ourselves the question, what story have you been telling yourself? And is it actually true? Yeah.

Wayne 4:58

And a lot of times we find, you know how it is, we create the evidence, to your point earlier in the green room, we create the evidence that supports the story we tell ourself. So if we tell ourself something that's unreal, but we wanna hold it to be true, guess what we do? we find the evidence to align with that.

Stacy 5:25

That's right. We're building or creating our narrative based on that false story. And so it really reminds me, when I was growing up, Wayne, We probably have talked about birth position before, but I don't remember. So I'm number two of four. And often, being in the middle created experiences where I felt unseen or unheard or... there's another descriptor in there, but really this experience that said I mattered, but that it was possible in the mix that others mattered more. Therefore, their voice mattered more. Therefore, time mattered more for them. And I believe that those feelings really transferred or transitioned into young adulthood, that feeling unseen, or maybe some of that shrinking back. And really sidelining myself in ways, because in my narrative, I was still unseen or not to be heard as much because there were other competing voices. There was no room for me. And I can admit that it wasn't really until adulthood that I understood that that narrative was playing and it was at the foundation of many decisions that I made and many actions that I took. And it was really facing that narrative and beginning... that allowed me to begin to rewrite it. And the rewriting of it was a very powerful and empowering opportunity to play a bigger game, to show up as even more of myself.

Wayne 7:47

Thanks for that vulnerability, Stacey. It's impactful because you're not alone. So many of us, based on our early years, are living with a narrative that no longer serves us right and we don't know how to shed it right we should shake it and move forward but because it's been something that has become like a second skin we don't shed it as well you know when you look at midlife men the area of masculinity there are narratives that we have and a lot of it has to do with culture too right how we were raised with who we were raised where we were raised And so masculinity looks different for men depending on their backgrounds. And the narrative that's pretty popular says that men gotta show up a certain way. And because we have that story, we deny ourself sometimes from being our authentic self. So we imprison the part of us that wants to get out just so we can allow with just, hang out with that narrative that we have had, that false narrative as it were.

Stacy 9:03

I think one of the other things we talked about in the green room was the concept of who's writing that narrative, right? Who wrote that story? Oftentimes it wasn't us, just as you shared, those when impacted by society or societal norms, that that that narrative of what masculinity should look like right is not written by the men themselves right it's it's the societal norm or the societal pressures that have said like this is what masculinity should look like the cultural norms that have said this is what masculinity should look like and therefore those are the narratives those are the uh patterns and the behaviors that we're acting upon as opposed to walking in the truth of who we are.

Wayne 10:02

Yeah. And narratives impact our sense of self, our identity, no doubt. But also it creates the paradigm by which we operate and do things. You just mentioned if it's our church, if it's the media, the community that we serve, live, the sorority, fraternity, they create, in a sense, boundaries for us through the narratives or the scripts that they have in terms of how we show up. And we're oftentimes restricted because we restrict ourselves based on that narrative that something or someone else had set for us. So the idea we're saying, Stacy, especially at Midlife, is to give yourself permission to break free from the scripts that no longer serve you.

Stacy 10:58

Absolutely. To break free of that conditioning, right? That story, that belief that we have about ourselves that's based on conditioning, not about the truth, not about clarity. So well said, Coach Wayne. Let's talk about some questions, some questions maybe that you would ask or that we would ask you. a coaching client that was really struggling in this area. You want to go first?

Wayne 11:32

Sure. So one of the things that I know is what we call imprinting. When folks are young, say up until seven years old, your early caregivers and the people you're around with create what we call psychological imprinting on you. And oftentimes that narrative, your seven-year-old self, is showing up at 27. It's a script that no longer serves you. It's a script that says maybe, you know, no, don't do that. You can't do that. So we don't think that we're able to do things and we carry that with us later on. And so a lot of times I think it's important when you have a narrative that still is in your head that somehow your soul doesn't feel right with it. You know it's not fully you. You got to go back and question where it started or where it came from and challenge that evidence, that narrative.

Stacy 12:26

Absolutely. And a great question to do so would be whose voice shaped this story? Whose voice built this story in me, this narrative in me?

Wayne 12:41

Yeah. And be okay with saying no to yourself again we talked in a previous episode about saying no to others right giving yourself permission to to for time management and other things say no but we talk to ourselves even when nobody else is listening and so we have to begin to say no this is not true this doesn't make sense for us it's not serving it's disempowering to the scripts that we have, that we are reading and that we're listening to, so that we can have a sense of reprieve and relief to move to the next level of narratives.

Stacy 13:28

I like that saying no in questioning or pushing ourselves in ways to And oftentimes we're saying no to ourselves. I don't really want to go there and dismantle or really start to understand that narrative. So I'm just going to brush over it. I'm not or no, I won't look at it. I won't really deal with it. This is the time to really look at it, dismantle it and ask yourself the question. of when did you stop questioning this narrative or this story, this negative narrative? What chapter of the story needs to be rewritten? And how can you go about dismantling the story in a way that gives you a foundation to rebuild it?

Wayne 14:32

And you know, Stacy, similar to when we are using technology, we are typing on your keyboard and you are editing, cutting or erasing the script. It's one thing to just edit it, but you don't want to leave a blank page. So you also have to rewrite a script to overpower or overcome or succeed the no longer useful script. So what is the script? that you'd like to rewrite to replace the old narrative? That's important and it's a question that we offer in coaching to challenge people to start rewriting the script that's more empowering, that's gonna take them to where they wanna be.

Stacy 15:19

Love it, love it. One of the ways I'm often approaching a conversation with a client is making sure that she is working on the problem from a place of power. It is difficult to dismantle that narrative when you are feeling like I'm not enough or feeling like I'm too much. Whatever that narrative is, it can be very difficult to challenge that narrative When you're immersed in it, when you're feeling powerless. And so one of the ways when I'm working with a client is really to start from that place of power, reminding her or getting her to remind herself of what she's already overcome. In what ways maybe has the narrative showed up but she's been able to dismantle it or ignore it or move past it, move beyond it. What truths really stand within her as well that allow her to really dismantle the narrative and begin to reclaim the victory over that narrative? So I do think that recognizing that, yeah, the narrative can feel powerful and sometime all-consuming, it can be difficult to tackle the narrative while immersed in the narrative. And so sometime we have to step out of the narrative into the place, the mindset where we feel most powerful in order to then be able to confront and dismantle that negative narrative.

Wayne 17:31

Yeah, discomfort is part of growth. And when you've lived with a script or a narrative for a while, it by default tends to fall in a place of comfort. and doesn't necessarily serve you, but it's been habitually what you're used to. And so, yes, you got to challenge yourself. And I'm glad, Stacey, that, you know, you're okay with challenging your clients, those women, to drop the comfort stuff and go to a new level where it's still untested and unseen, where they can start writing a new script. You know, I think of a... Pencil parable, it's called, and I don't remember all of it, but I use it in the past when I was working with folks to describe the idea of... You know what a pencil is, right? Those old school yellow pencils oftentimes. And part of rewriting your narrative is if you were to look at the parable of a pencil, it needs... Remember that you can write on any surface, meaning... When you're coming up with narratives, there is nothing stopping you from testing the water and from being innovative and for, you know, there's no time limits writing on any surface. Then there is an eraser. In your own narrative, you can always make mistakes and rewrite the scripts by erasing what was gone. There is what's called, to your point, a painful sharpening. Stacey, when you leave in discomfort and move into a new narrative. And that's part of the pencil parable, right? And a great part of it is be held. It has to be held in your hand. So as you write your narrative and you ask for discernment, connect with your greatest self, your spiritual self, your God, right? Be held in the hand as you write this narrative so you're not alone. And lastly... One thing to remember is that what's most important as you write your narrative is what's on the inside. No matter how beautiful the pencil looks on the outside, what really matters is what's on the inside. So to be relative to what we're talking about, it's going to be painful. You're going to make some mistakes. You're not alone. You have a bigger why. And go ahead and write your own script.

Unknown 20:10

Mm-hmm.

Stacy 20:11

I would say, sir, that was your gold of the week. That was so good and so apropos to today's conversation. Certainly to our Midlife Revolution Unleashed audience, you just received a massive tip today. and tool to begin to move forward with rewriting your narrative. What is that? The pencil analogy? The pencil? The parable of a pencil. The parable of a pencil. Well, let's take that parable of a pencil and ask a couple of more or give a couple of more strategies or tools that our audience can really take on, right? With the foundation of that parable of a pencil. There is the story shift prompt, which is very easy for each of us to really implement, even if you only have five minutes. And it really is asking yourself, what is the old story? Is it Is it I'm too late? I'm too old. I'm too tired. I'm too tall. What is the old story? And then writing down with your pencil, what is the new truth? What is the truth about that area? I'm not too late. I'm right on time. You know, God is on time. I shared a post recently, and it was talking about, you know, reminding yourself that you are on time. You are still becoming. You are on time. And someone responded, yes, we serve an on-time God. Yes, indeed. You are on time. That is the truth, that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, and you get to implement the pencil parable. and begin to really write the truth about where you are and where you're going.

Wayne 22:19

Great. I love those analogies and tie in, Stacey. The pencil maker, as he was taking up a pencil to explain the pencil's opportunities to rewrite itself, so to speak, and to not... He did that because the pencil was actually comparing itself from across the way with... the colored markers and saying wow look at those beautiful colored markers I wish I could be like those but remember part of rewriting your own story is to not compare yourself with the markers with somebody else's story to be sure that you are prayerful that you're mindful that you're reaching within yourself as you Rewrite your story. And it's funny because as we go through this right now here in the U.S. with history being bottled in a different sort of way, so to speak, for folks of color, we have to make sure that we are not having other people tell our story and that we are telling the story from our eyes, our mouths, and our experiences right now.

Stacy 23:43

Yeah. And yeah, I totally agree. There was so much there. And once you got into the realm of what's happening societally, we can acknowledge that even what's happening societally now impacts the narrative that we are currently operating on. It impacts society. the truth of those narratives and we really have to position ourselves to constantly check in with ourselves and check those narratives. One exercise to implement is using the voice notes on your phone and talking out that narrative, whatever that is, and combating it with truth. Some people believe in affirmations, some people declarations, but combating those negative or false narratives with the truth. And then you are able to play back what you've said about yourself, which is what you're thinking about yourself and hear the truth about what you've said and what you're thinking about yourself, and really begin to put that truth on replay in your mind and in your daily practice in a way that starts to eliminate or dismantle that negative narrative.

Wayne 25:28

You know, Stacey, in in addition to what you just said, I think a nugget for folks to go by is to give themselves a fast and food fast is important, but I'm talking about like a media and a news fast every now and again, because if you allow yourself to be bombarded with what's out there in terms of social media, in terms of the traditional news, it's going to be pretty hard to break through and escape to write the narrative that is befitting to your authentic self. So many other guardrails prevent that if you allow that. So I would say sometimes, Stacey, it's good to guide the folks that we work with to, you know, we're not saying throw your phone away, but to give yourself times. Don't start your day, for example. Give yourself a fast. Don't start your day before you meditate or do your morning routine, don't start looking at social media. That's an easy one.

Stacy 26:37

I agree. It's a super easy one and an extremely powerful one because it is, what are you letting in? The ear gate, the eye gate, what are you letting in that is then impacting your narrative? And oft times, we've talked about this before, that social media in and of itself Can be great, can be informative, can be funny. It can also be a place where people are not necessarily living or showing their authentic lives and what you're then taking in or comparing yourself to is someone else's something. False story, you know, someone else's glammed up, not their authentic. It is true. definitely important to fuel yourself in a way that allows you to even have the mental acuity and the spiritual fortitude to combat some of the foolishness, whether it's on the news or on social media, especially when you start your day.

Wayne 27:53

I like how you say foolishness, Stacey. Foolishness. The

Stacy 27:57

foolishness.

Wayne 27:59

Foolishness. In the green room, Stacey, you had mentioned, you reminded me of the acronym for fear. And a lot of times we don't move forward because we are tuned into false evidence appearing real. So to your point, we're listening to foolishness. We're listening to false evidence appearing that because it shows up on the seven o'clock news, it creates that sense of it's news, but the narrative is not doing us right. It's corrupted. It's lopsided. It's false evidence that appears real. And we are fearful of moving forward with what we know innately to be true. So I want to dispel that myth that, you know, because it was said by an official or a leader that it's worth tuning into.

Stacy 28:57

Well said. So to our revolution, what's one part of your story you're ready to reclaim and rewrite? This is your time. This beautiful season of midlife really is a season of wisdom. It is a season of resilience and it is a season of where we have to remind ourselves that we have the permission to rewrite the script. With that, Sir Wayne, we just want to remind the folks that we are the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. Wayne, tell the people how they can reach you.

Wayne 29:37

Hit me up. Just go on my site, VIPTransformativeLiving.com. Lots of handles out there, and you can subscribe to my newsletter, Check out the podcast and no shame in the game. DM me. It's free.

Stacy 29:57

I think he's going to put that on his t-shirt. DM me. It's free. I want to invite all midlife women of color to the Midlife Sisters Collective. Certainly, you are welcome to DM me if that is something that you'd like more information about. I am Coach Stacey. I can be reached at thestaceymlewis.com. Yet, if you are seeing this on LinkedIn, Facebook, or YouTube, you know how to reach me. Wayne and I You can also find our contact information in your favorite podcast player's footer. So check out the Midlife Revolution Unleashed. It is always our pleasure to spend this time with you.

Wayne 30:41

That's for sure. So thank you all for tuning in and you know where to find us. We'll be here same place, same time next week. on Midlife Revolution on Lead. Stacey, have yourself a wonderful rest of the afternoon.

Stacy 30:57

Yes, you do the same, Coach Wayne. And to our audience, he'll see you at the top. I'm cheering you on. Bye now.

Wayne 31:08

and there you have it folks this week's episode of the midlife revolution unleashed hey we truly appreciate your spending this time in this space with us join us next week at the same time as we dive into relevant topics and present solutions to spark new thinking and empower your midlife journey And

Stacy 31:31

don't forget, if you enjoyed today's episode, let us know in the comments and share it with others. And of course, remember to subscribe, share, like, hit that notification bell. You are the midlife revolution unleashed. I'm Coach Stacey and I'm cheering you on. And I'm Coach Wayne and I'll see you at the top.