Episode 53 - ADHD or Alzheimer's? Why The Symptoms Can Look So Alike

What if the memory lapses you thought were early-onset Alzheimer’s were actually ADHD hiding in plain sight? In this eye-opening episode of Grandma Has ADHD, host Jami Shapiro talks with Dan Sweiger—a healthcare industry leader and co-owner of BrightStar Care of Carlsbad, California’s top-rated home care agency.

Dan shares his powerful journey of being convinced he had dementia, only to discover in his mid-40s that ADHD was the real explanation. His story highlights the fear, relief, and surprising freedom that comes with a late-life diagnosis—and why so many older adults mistake ADHD symptoms for normal aging or memory loss.

Beyond his personal experience, Dan also talks about ADHD in families, the stigma of masking, and how embracing his diagnosis has reshaped his relationships, career, and outlook on life. Together, Jami and Dan explore what ADHD looks like after 50, why awareness matters, and how acceptance can lift the weight of shame and self-doubt.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your “senior moments” could be something more—or you want to support a loved one navigating ADHD later in life—this episode is a must-listen.

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Grandma Has ADHD! We hope Jami's journey and insights into ADHD shed light on the unique challenges faced by older adults. Stay tuned for more episodes where we’ll explore helpful resources, share personal stories, and provide guidance for those navigating ADHD. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends who might benefit. Remember, Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

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Transcript

Have you ever thought, is this just me? When struggling to stay organized, start tasks, or manage time, for those of us over 50, these challenges might not be just aging. They could be ADHD hiding in plain sight for decades. I'm Jami Shapiro, host of Grandma has ADHD, and I'm building a community where your experiences matter.

Whether you are diagnosed, questioning or simply curious. You are not alone. Our Facebook group is filled with vibrant understanding. People over 50 who share their stories, strategies, and yes, even their struggles with plenty of laughter along the way. Ready to find your people. Join our growing grandma has ADHD Facebook community.

Please like and subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen and share it with someone who might need to hear. They're not alone because ADHD doesn't have an age limit and neither does understanding yourself better. Together, we're changing the conversation about ADHD after 50 come be part of the story.

[00:01:29] Jami Shapiro: Hi, and welcome to the latest edition of Grandma Has ADHD. I am excited. I hate it that I always say excited because it's such an overused word by me, but it's true. And, this person definitely merits excited. To introduce you to my friend, who also happens to be somebody that I work with in the senior industry in San Diego.

[00:01:53] Jami Shapiro: Dan Sweiger. He is an very accomplished account executive, public speaker, community educator, and industry leader who co-owns and operates Bright Star care of Carlsbad. It is California's top rated home care agency alongside his wife Susie. Dan is a healthcare industry leader who serves on the board of trustees for the Tri-City Hospital Foundation and the board of directors of the San Diego Dementia Consortium.

[00:02:24] Jami Shapiro: Okay, and if I hadn't lost enough breath, he also supports the North County San Diego healthcare community through a wide range of industry groups, including Alzheimer's Association of San Diego, Parkinson's Association of San Diego. North County Parkinson's support groups at City Council on Aging, San Diego, coalition for Compassionate Care, veterans Association of North County.

[00:02:48] Dan Sweiger: We're running outta time 

[00:02:50] Jami Shapiro: No, no, no. he also leads community education workshops at the Carlsbad Senior Center. And I joke Dan, because I see there's sort of two different ways to go when someone has ADHD. A bio that looks like this, it's like, where does he find the energy? And I have a theory on that.

[00:03:06] Jami Shapiro: We'll talk about it. Or, someone that really hasn't done a lot at all. And as I always share, when you meet one person with ADHD, you meet one person with ADHD. You did hear Dan's voice, so you are probably going to recognize that Dan is also not a grandma. But I invited him today because he's got such a great story that I wanted to share, and because like me, also works with seniors and is, wanting to bring this conversation to the public.

[00:03:35] Jami Shapiro: So, welcome, Dan. Well 

[00:03:38] Dan Sweiger: thanks. Thanks for having me. It's good to be here. 

[00:03:40] Jami Shapiro: it is really nice to finally have you and also, trying to coordinate two schedules with ADHD. I wanted to share one thing before we go into the interview and your ADHD story. 'cause I think your story's so good. I'm including it in my book.

[00:03:52] Jami Shapiro: But what I have discovered, and you tell me this is true for you, a lot of people with ADHD have imposter syndrome and so we feel like we have to achieve to sort of validate who we are or what we're saying. Does that resonate for you? 

[00:04:08] Dan Sweiger: I'm not sure really. Maybe there's certainly places where I feel like I have imposter syndrome.

[00:04:14] Dan Sweiger: I wouldn't say it's an overarching thing. I don't know why I'm not really driven to achieve. I'm just interested in a lot of things and just try to get involved and help where I can. 

[00:04:24] Jami Shapiro: Okay. Well, did you know that people with ADHD also have a strong sense of Justice, of Social Justice?

[00:04:30] Dan Sweiger: Oh, that resonates. Yeah. 

[00:04:32] Jami Shapiro: Okay. Alright. You know, be going through ADHD coaching, all these little things that I've been able to put together, it's been like eye-opening and again, I've always really liked Dan and I have found personally that I gravitate towards other people who have ADHD because we just, like Dan and I go right into real conversation.

[00:04:49] Jami Shapiro: We do not keep it. we do not do the small talk. Which I can't. And I think you also have said you don't like it either. Am I right? 

[00:04:55] Dan Sweiger: I'm very uncomfortable with small talk. I mean, I do it 'cause it's what people want, but I just assumed dive right into it. You know, what are we here to talk about?

[00:05:02] Dan Sweiger: Let's get on with it. 

[00:05:03] Jami Shapiro: So I wanna hear your A-D-H-D I wanna share your ADHD story. no. One better to share it than you. So how did you find out you had ADHD? 

[00:05:11] Dan Sweiger: So, yeah, this is where our conversation started too when I was telling you this story. So about 10 or 15 years ago now I was a hundred percent convinced that I had early onset Alzheimer's.

[00:05:23] Dan Sweiger: My wife and I were terrified. We checked every single box there was. When you go to the website, what are the symptoms? I checked every symptoms for Alzheimer's. The only one I didn't check was leaving the keys in the fridge. But everything else was like, oh my God, I have it. Oh my God. So we did the, 

[00:05:38] Jami Shapiro: so, so tell me, 

[00:05:39] Dan Sweiger: oh, go ahead.

[00:05:39] Dan Sweiger: Tell me what 

[00:05:40] Jami Shapiro: some of those symptoms were so that, our audience can hear this. 

[00:05:42] Dan Sweiger: Oh, okay. Yeah. Forgetting things a lot having to be reminded a lot. Problems with word finding forgetting people's names that I knew well. Just, all that kinda stuff. my wife it would drive her crazy.

[00:05:53] Dan Sweiger: I'd ask her what's for dinner five times a day and each time, I'd never asked it before. And so it was just stuff like that. So we did the full day neuropsych workup fully expecting to come back with a dementia diagnosis. And they came back and said, no, actually you have ADD I don't use the H, I don't really have the hyper part of it.

[00:06:15] Dan Sweiger: But he basically said, yeah, and you've probably had this your whole life. But when you were younger you just had more energy in general. So you had more energy to put into your brain to kind of mask a lot of these things so that you didn't even realize it. But as I got older, he's like, it's surfaced more and more and more.

[00:06:33] Dan Sweiger: So that was a huge relief to find out that was, ADD not Dementia and we can name it now, we can try to understand it now, we can get medications start to make life, a little bit more livable again. 

[00:06:47] Jami Shapiro: And I think I've asked you this, but I don't remember it if you can share it with the audience.

[00:06:50] Jami Shapiro: do you now look back and see anything as a child where you may have had ADHD that you just didn't recognize it? 

[00:06:56] Dan Sweiger: Oh, totally. Yeah. I mean, I've always been a major multitasker which I thought, It's your superpower with ADHD. But then that's all it was, a superpower.

[00:07:06] Dan Sweiger: I could be sitting in class fully listening to the teacher and engaged, well, reading something else and thinking about something else. Flipping from subject to subject to subject, which is how I ended up with a career in marketing, because marketing is something different every five minutes coming at you.

[00:07:21] Dan Sweiger: Which just played right into that superpower. 

[00:07:25] Jami Shapiro: Sure. Yeah. And I will say that I have heard that multitasking is actually not really good for us. That we really should focus on one task at a time, and we probably do it better generally. So I just wanna kind of put that out there as well.

[00:07:38] Dan Sweiger: And I think 

[00:07:39] Dan Sweiger: as I've gotten older, that's pretty much, I call it serial multitasking. Where I have to stop and give each thing. Its focus and try to stay organized, with a list or whatever of the things I need to get to. 

[00:07:51] Jami Shapiro: It's not as easy to flip from one thing to the other, like it was when I was much younger.

[00:07:55] Jami Shapiro: Right. For sure. I mean, definitely. And that's one of the things of ADHD is it's compounded as we age. I mean, you know, as is other things. So tell me about your family. because we've talked about it's heritable and I know that I believe you have at least one child with ADHD but.

[00:08:10] Jami Shapiro: Tell me about, tell me about your family. Looking back, do you think maybe now you see that you might have had a parent with ADHD or a grandparent with ADHD? 

[00:08:18] Dan Sweiger: You know, that's the weird part. I really don't see it. Definitely not my mom. I don't think my dad he was capable of doing a lot of things. He's a pretty smart guy.

[00:08:28] Jami Shapiro: Looking back, I don't see the symptoms 

[00:08:30] Jami Shapiro: there or anything. That's a misconception because intelligence and attention, they have nothing to do with each other. Right. 

[00:08:37] Dan Sweiger: Well, that's what I'm saying. Like he was a pretty smart guy, so I don't necessarily see ADHD. 

[00:08:41] Jami Shapiro: And that's, he felt 

[00:08:42] Jami Shapiro: like so many people who had ADHD flew under the radar and like didn't even get diagnosed to like medical school or grad school because they were so bright.

[00:08:50] Jami Shapiro: It wasn't until they got to a point that they couldn't just wing it on being bright. So when I hear a misconception, I wanna like debunk it. 

[00:08:57] Dan Sweiger: Oh, go for it. Yeah. Well, so my, sister has a son that was diagnosed with ADHD. and then I have two daughters, one of which was diagnosed with ADHD.

[00:09:07] Dan Sweiger: And it hit her earlier in sort of like mid high school into college to where she kind of needed some accommodations for it. So thank God we got the diagnosis because we got her on some medication that actually helped her. She went from straight A's to struggling to keep up in school. And then once we got her diagnosed, medicated and she got a few accommodations, she got right back into straight A's again.

[00:09:31] Dan Sweiger: But it was, accepting that and getting the diagnosis and then, finding out what we can do about it. That helped get her life back on track. Now my poor wife, my youngest daughter who was diagnosed with ADHD has graduated college. She's thinking about grad school, but she's back staying with us for a year or two and saving her money.

[00:09:51] Dan Sweiger: And so my wife is in a house with two people with pretty significant ADHD. 

[00:09:56] Jami Shapiro: Yeah, Dan, I'm gonna take a pause with you for a minute. I'm having some technical issues and we'll come back.

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[00:13:15] Jami Shapiro: ​So we just took a pause in our interview with Dan Sweiger, the owner of Brightstar Home Care in Carlsbad, California. We had technical issues and so you will probably notice that You'll see if you're watching this video, you'll see a change of scenery and if you've ever seen this virtual background.

[00:13:38] Jami Shapiro: it looks like everybody's in this really nice organized house with this beautiful see, here's me losing a word. What's that kind of piano called? 

[00:13:46] Dan Sweiger: Oh, 

[00:13:46] Jami Shapiro: grand. But yeah, so I couldn't think of it. There's ADHD in action. And it was funny 'cause when Dan was trying to figure out if he wanted to use a virtual background, that was one of the backgrounds that you put up as well.

[00:13:56] Jami Shapiro: and I said, no, Dan, just keep it real. Well, I'm in my 17-year-old daughter's room because she has the best wifi in the house, even though we just had this whole hero thing put in. So I did put a virtual background on because You don't need to see my daughter's ADHD. You know, mine is fine.

[00:14:13] Jami Shapiro: But I do wanna go back. So I had just asked Dan to share, whether he saw it in his family, and you'd said, no, you hadn't seen it, but that you have nieces and nephews and or something like that, right? 

[00:14:25] Dan Sweiger: Yep. Yeah. So I didn't see it in my parents or grandparents, but, I definitely have it. my youngest daughter has it and my sister a son that was diagnosed with it too. So there definitely is some in the family. 

[00:14:39] Jami Shapiro: Yeah. 

[00:14:39] Dan Sweiger: Not sure if I'm just missing the signals in earlier generations or what. 

[00:14:43] Jami Shapiro: Let me ask you a question. Did anybody smoke? 

[00:14:47] Dan Sweiger: Yes. Well, both my parents smoked early on.

[00:14:49] Dan Sweiger: My dad quit, my mom, and most of only smoke like a chimney. I was inundated with smoke everywhere I went. 

[00:14:57] Jami Shapiro: There's a, a thought that nicotine actually calms us down. And so a lot of people were self-medicating with, cigarettes, so, very possibly that she was smoking.

[00:15:09] Jami Shapiro: To calm herself down, which is, why we also didn't see it. And then, there's also that we weren't in front of screens all the time. We were actually having to be a little more active, but I'm starting to ask people if they saw smoking in their families, which I know was very common once after World War I, because they were giving cigarettes to soldiers to sort of help them, calm their nerves.

[00:15:27] Dan Sweiger: Yeah. 

[00:15:28] Jami Shapiro: Yeah. Okay. Well I also really like that you own a home care company and I do wanna congratulate you because to be number one in California, there are a lot of home care companies. And so kudos to you and I would love to hear a little bit about that, but I don't think that's what our audience is wanna hear about.

[00:15:45] Jami Shapiro: I think what would be really good would be for you to share sort of how you are seeing now that you're paying attention to ADHD, how you're seeing it with some of the clients that you are serving. And so we'll start with that. 

[00:15:59] Dan Sweiger: So yeah, I mean, Brightstar Carol Carlsbad has the highest customer satisfaction of any home care agency in the state of California.

[00:16:06] Dan Sweiger: my wife and I set out to have the highest quality care for people 'cause people deserve that. And so that's what we set out to do. We've got an incredible team. I don't really have a lot to do with it other than I get to go on things like this and take credit, which is great. But no, we have people that are really engaged and really care.

[00:16:23] Dan Sweiger: thank God my wife doesn't have it 'cause she's the steady rudder in the water that kind of keeps us all focused and, uneven keel, and, I'm in the field a lot dealing with a lot of different people. I think I have bumped into people probably multiple times where, they, oh well, you know, dad has dementia.

[00:16:42] Dan Sweiger: And I have said, are you sure? have you thought about, his symptoms are kind of similar sometimes with early onset dementia. ADHD, so, have you talked to somebody to make sure that's really what's going on. I do bump into it from time to time where I've noticed enough where I've brought it up.

[00:16:59] Jami Shapiro: Good. I'm glad that you are spreading awareness and especially when it is running in families, it's very, very possible. And in fact, from the last statistic that I heard was that only one in five memory care clinics were even asking questions around ADHD. And yet the symptoms are so similar.

[00:17:18] Jami Shapiro: So that's another reason we need to raise awareness and I'm definitely seeing more and more of it. So how do you think that somebody with ADHD is going to benefit or from bringing in home care? And I will also say not just the person who's receiving care, but the family also benefits, as well.

[00:17:38] Dan Sweiger: Yeah, absolutely. Well I think, home care comes into play when someone needs assistance with their activities of daily living. And that can be physical activities like getting dressed or taking baths or making meals or things like that. It can also be companion care is what we call it.

[00:17:59] Dan Sweiger: and that's, cognitive stimulation, it's socialization can be outings doing hobbies together. all those things that are, I think are important for all of us to keep our brains active, engaged, and sharp. I think it's good for all of us, including, those of us with ADHD.

[00:18:17] Dan Sweiger: So I think home care can definitely benefit people in certain situations. with ADHD what the diagnosis and sort of just going, okay, this is part of who I am accepting, that has made a big difference. I was spending most of my life trying to cover up all what I would call brain farts, like not remembering the name of Baby Grand.

[00:18:35] Dan Sweiger: I was constantly covering that stuff up and embarrassed about it. And not wanting anyone to see, 'cause I didn't wanna be judged and, and I was in a corporate job where, I was worried about my career being hurt by that. And I have run into people that, Just couldn't, reconcile. You are a smart person. You just couldn't think of a common word at that moment. Or you couldn't remember something. You should have remembered there were people I run into that just couldn't reconcile that. So being able to say, no, I actually have a real issue here.

[00:19:06] Dan Sweiger: You know, I just need your patience, help, facilitate those conversations. And it felt like a huge weight was lifted for me, honestly, to be able to just say, look. I'm not a dumb person. I'm all these things. I simply have this in word finding or remembering things or that kinda stuff.

[00:19:22] Dan Sweiger: and it's allowed me to basically say, to people all the time, feel free to remind me. You won't offend me. Remind me all you want. You won't be nagging me. In fact, I appreciate the reminders. Yeah. And so, I'm enabling other people to make sure that I don't forget things that they need too.

[00:19:40] Jami Shapiro: Yeah, that is great. I learned about masking actually years after I learned what ADHD was and masking is when we do kind of compensate for something, when we don't want somebody to get it and we like hold it together. And like an example, before I started sharing that I had ADHD or even realizing its impact if I couldn't think of a word, I would say I need to take a sip of water.

[00:20:00] Jami Shapiro: And then I would like takemaybe a longer sip of water and then, hopefully come back to it. And, it didn't always work. But there is so much freedom in just being who we are. And I remember Dan,for ADHD awareness month last year in October. I had special business cards made to give to people when I network.

[00:20:18] Jami Shapiro: Because you've seen me like someone walks up to me and I'm like, I have no idea who you are. But they know, enthusiastic, they're reading me and I'm like, 

[00:20:26] Dan Sweiger: well, I live 

[00:20:27] Dan Sweiger: that every day too. 

[00:20:28] Jami Shapiro: Right? And so I had the business card and it said, we may not remember your name. And you actually took it home, I think, to show to Susie, right?

[00:20:36] Dan Sweiger: Yeah, 

[00:20:37] Jami Shapiro: yeah, yeah. I thought that was 

[00:20:38] Dan Sweiger: kind of neat. 

[00:20:39] Jami Shapiro: Yeah, so you know, I never really planned the entire conversation because like, that's another, one of the wonderful traits of ADHD is that we able to connect so many things and we're really able to think quickly on our feet.

[00:20:50] Jami Shapiro: And so I liked when you shared, you kind of went back to my not being able to find the word for the piano and how that impacted you in your career. What do you think might also be some tips for seniors or, as again. although I know 50 and over is not seniors, because I am 55 hosting a podcast.

[00:21:09] Jami Shapiro: We're just, you know, it's why it's grandma. 

[00:21:12] Dan Sweiger: Yep. I mean, one thing I'd say is that you can request a neuropsych workup. you just request it through your doctor and you go down, they'll put you through a bunch of testing to find out again, whether, is it dementia, is it ADHD, whatever.

[00:21:28] Dan Sweiger: To me that was the first step. And an important one to understand that, now I know what I'm dealing with. And then I think, I've learned over time and I've learned a few things from you too. I mean, I'm always learning, but Different ways to deal with it.

[00:21:39] Dan Sweiger: It's really been freeing to get over the embarrassment of it and be able to say it, ain't it? Yeah. I forget stuff sometimes. Sometimes I can't think of words. It's okay. And nobody really cares when you mention that. So, they're like, okay, cool. So, then you don't have to afraid too.

[00:21:53] Dan Sweiger: I know, right? Well, that's happened a lot to us where people are like, oh yeah, me too. But yeah, just I think, let go of that embarrassment. You feel like it's a stigma, you feel like it's something wrong with you. Once you accept it, it's just you're so much more free. Stress level is down and you find out all the people around you.

[00:22:10] Dan Sweiger: Once, they know what the deal is, it's not hard for them to go, oh yeah, that was one of those things, wasn't it? Okay. And it doesn't have to be the end of the world. Like I said, when. Before I had the diagnosis of my corporate job, I was in constant terror of not being able to remember things I should remember and being embarrassed by it.

[00:22:29] Dan Sweiger: I'm still a little bit intimidated in networking and social situations because with that many people in the room, there's gonna be some people that I should know their name and it won't come at that moment. but I, the people that know it's, no big deal. And the more they'll know the better.

[00:22:43] Dan Sweiger: So I think it's another tip. Just feel free to talk about it once you get comfortable with it. Just. Hey, this is what I deal with. it's kind of funny sometimes if you look at it from a certain angle, it's kind of funny that you couldn't think of the word piano. it's like, oh, it's charming.

[00:22:55] Jami Shapiro: A leading home care company that's, ranked, number one in California, but you can't think of the word piano, right? I think that's also really important is when you do educate and that's why I used to also be really embarrassed when I'd go there and I'd be like, I am so sorry, my ADHD is showing.

[00:23:09] Dan Sweiger: And then I'll give it an opportunity to say, it is not a reflection on you. It is just like, if I am thinking of something else at the time, And then they'll walk away and I'll be like. Oh, I know exactly. yeah, it always comes later. 

[00:23:21] Jami Shapiro: Yeah. Not always. Not always.

[00:23:23] Jami Shapiro: I find, and I say this, that I need to have a significant conversation with somebody and then I will remember where we were standing, what the conversation was about in little details. And I've heard Kathleen Nadeau refer to ADHD is having a Swiss Cheese Memory because you have these like really strong

[00:23:39] Jami Shapiro: memories. and then you can't remember like, I can't tell you what I had for lunch yesterday, and I'm not even kidding. You know what I mean? 

[00:23:44] Dan Sweiger: it feels like my memory is just a pile of dirty clothes. Like it's all in there. But trying to find the right shirt at the right moment doesn't always happen.

[00:23:55] Dan Sweiger: 'Cause I don't always have access to it at that moment. But it's there. So lots of reminders. I guess I didn't even think of it 'cause it's become so common in my life. I don't put things in files, in drawers because then they might. I might credit exist, right?

[00:24:10] Dan Sweiger: So see if I can show it, like my files are all sitting on my desk. it's out where I can see 'em, where I have that constant reminder. I put everything on my calendar to remind me to do things. Set reminders on, your watch. Write down lists of things. I surround myself with reminders and reminders on reminders.

[00:24:28] Dan Sweiger: 'Cause one of the things that I learned this through talking with you and it just sunk in. You said someone with, ADHD only knows two times now and not now. And man, did that resonate? 'cause Yeah, if it's, now, I can focus, I can nail it. But if I don't do it right now and I don't write it down, put a reminder or do something, there's a very good chance I'm gonna forget to get back to it.

[00:24:51] Dan Sweiger: Well, 

[00:24:51] Jami Shapiro: I was also gonna say it's also what your priority is in that moment. So if I am working on something and that's my now, and you want me to do something else, I'm gonna have a really hard time switching tasks. Right. Or getting away from that. And also to your point, if I don't finish it or if I don't add it to my calendar, if I don't set the timer, it's gone.

[00:25:10] Jami Shapiro: I'm gonna lose it. Yep. So I would Go ahead. 

[00:25:14] Dan Sweiger: It's always been a strength yet to focus on things too. Yeah. And. That resonates too. it's sometimes you're so focused, it's hard to just get out of it. But in my early, early days of my career we had an intern that thought I hated him because he'd come in into my cube and I'd be like, head down, really cranking on something and he'd knock, I'd be just like, hang on a sec, hang on a sec.

[00:25:35] Dan Sweiger: I really gotta finish this thought. 'cause I won't be able to remember. But what he interpreted on was basically like, go away. I don't wanna talk to you. And all I cared about was typing my thing. And again, at that time I didn't have a diagnosis. I was just like, no, no, no, sorry. I was just trying to finish a thought.

[00:25:49] Dan Sweiger: Didn't mean, but we so didn't have a basis for much of a conversation with that. But yeah, and my daughter that has it, like in school, she will get really into a subject, I mean really into it and wanna know everything about it. Which was great inter intellectual curiosity.

[00:26:04] Dan Sweiger: But yeah, we still laugh about God, what grade was it like. Third or fourth grade when they learned about the Wamp Noac Indians and we still laugh, make fun of her. Like, ah, remember the Wamp NOACs, you spent like a month and all you wanted to know was everything there was to know about them.

[00:26:20] Jami Shapiro: Yeah. My, child that was diagnosed, the one that I discovered that I had ADHD started reading the Harry Potter series in first grade and read it through to completion like 32 times. And I would say Uhhuh. Well, there are other books. There are other things you could be learning there. Nope. I mean everything was Harry Potter, so as you have heard me jokingly say ADHD has become my Wapa noac and you can also see where ADHD would impact aging.

[00:26:48] Jami Shapiro: You know, for instance, like medication management. I struggle to remember if I have to take more than one thing. I can't even imagine, a lot of the clients that you work with is that, you know, how do you implemented any of this now that sort of with medication management or reminders or, you know, 

[00:27:05] Dan Sweiger: I think med reminders is a very typical and a very common thing we help people with all the time.

[00:27:10] Dan Sweiger: And whether it's ADHD or not. Sometimes as we get older we've taken a lot of different pills and it's hard to keep 'em straight. Again, we have, even though we're non-medical support, we have a registered nurse who is a case manager. And she frequently, when we're starting cases.

[00:27:25] Dan Sweiger: Helps people reconcile their medications. they've got three of the same blood pressure medication and they're not even really sure at this point which one is the one they're supposed to be taking. So, it's not uncommon for us to try to help people untangle that, to make sure they're taking the right things at the right time.

[00:27:38] Dan Sweiger: and if we always recommend med boxes, of course, so you have the, what pills, what time at what day. And, we can send someone to fill those boxes if they're not comfortable doing it themselves. And we have some clients where we keep a log where the family wants to make sure.

[00:27:52] Dan Sweiger: So we write down what meds they took at what time. To make sure that there was that consistency there and that the family could keep an eye on it. So 

[00:28:00] Jami Shapiro: Sure. 

[00:28:01] Dan Sweiger: Kinda all of those things. 

[00:28:02] Jami Shapiro: Yeah. Can you see other areas where having a home care company would be good for somebody who does have ADHD senior that has ADHD.

[00:28:12] Dan Sweiger: Yeah, we picked up a client not that long ago. Her husband had passed, unfortunately. So that was a complicating factor where she was obviously very depressed. It was a tough time for her. But that, I think she probably had some ADHD and it exacerbated it.

[00:28:27] Dan Sweiger: She just couldn't process her mail, her bills, she literally showed this big coffee table probably piled up about that high with mail that was all unopened. 'Cause she just couldn't bring herself to do it. And a number of other activities in her daily life that she just had trouble with.

[00:28:43] Dan Sweiger: So just having a caregiver there just say, come on, let's go through some of these bills now let's get this organized. And just to kind of pull her through some of the stuff that I think hurt. With ADHD plus depression was making, there are things you're really interested in, you really wanna get into and there's things you really aren't interested in.

[00:29:02] Dan Sweiger: And I think it exacerbated that. So just helping her get through that pile of bills and things and make sure she, wasn't missing important payments. So yeah, stuff like that. And we get involved in that all the time. 

[00:29:13] Jami Shapiro: Yeah, body doubling for sure is something that people with ADHD benefit from.

[00:29:16] Jami Shapiro: we need that other person. I actually just realized that this thing that I have been doing for years was actually probably an ADHD thing. So when I have a lot that I have to do and I'm just overwhelmed and I don't know where to begin, and that's one of the things that we struggle with is taking on a big task, knowing when to begin it, 

[00:29:34] Jami Shapiro: Prioritizing the order. So that's executive functioning. I actually do sock matching which is, it's mindless, right? I have a sock monster that lives in my house, and so, socks and a dog that likes to take socks in fairness. Plus my kids have divorce parents, and I don't know if you know this, but like this generation of kids, they'll go out the door without matching socks, right?

[00:29:56] Dan Sweiger: 

[00:29:56] Jami Shapiro: But my socks have to match. so anyway, when I realized this just last week when I was talking to somebody that my sort of like thing that I do if I don't wanna do anything else and I just need to do something that makes me feel productive is to match socks.

[00:30:08] Jami Shapiro: and I'm actually including that in my presentation, but there's a term I've heard called Perca, procrast a cleaning when you'll like do anything else but the thing you have to do, and I definitely think that I could see we're having a home care person in your home and helping you kind of do those things that you're having a hard time starting with.

[00:30:27] Jami Shapiro: So first of all, I'm gonna go ahead and ask how did you become the number one home care? I have to, that curiosity, I wanted to put it off, but I'm like, I gotta know, even if the audience could care less, I wanna know, Dan, 

[00:30:38] Dan Sweiger: the secret sauce is not as technical or complicated or anything like that.

[00:30:42] Dan Sweiger: my wife and I got into this business to help people. Not to get rich. we're not a charity. Gotta pay our bills. We gotta charge, but that's not how we focus our business decisions. And the biggest thing for us is we're very, very, very particular about the caregivers we hire.

[00:30:58] Dan Sweiger: In 2024, we hired point or 0.7% of all of our applicants. And the big thing we're looking for isn't years of experience or anything like that. We only hire people that are, this is not just a job, it's a calling that there's a reason they're doing this job, and it's not just to get their paycheck and go home.

[00:31:19] Dan Sweiger: maybe they took care of a loved one. Or, it's in their family, lots of people are in this industry or whatever, so we only hire people that care because a caregiver is gonna go to a vulnerable person's home and we can't be there to supervise, right?

[00:31:34] Dan Sweiger: Not on a daily. We can check in things like that, but we're not there to watch it every day. So how do you make sure they're really doing the job and they're really doing a great job at it? You only hire people that's why they're there is because they wanna make a difference for people.

[00:31:47] Dan Sweiger: And so it's hard to find those in this world. So, we pass on a lot of people with really good experience and, all of that. But if they don't show That drive, that passion for what they do. Then we pass and obviously, we manage well and all those kinds of things.

[00:32:02] Dan Sweiger: We communicate really well. But honestly, the biggest secret sauce is just hiring those people and only those people. And that's both who we hire to work in our office as well as who we hire for caregivers and nurses, like, the entire company. That is the one thing that is the common thread for all of us, is every single one of us is here.

[00:32:21] Dan Sweiger: For more than just a paycheck and then the rest sort of, kind of takes care of itself. 

[00:32:25] Jami Shapiro: Right. I love that, that's amazing. Okay, so I always like to ask my guests if you could turn a button off, that would mean that you never had ADHD, you never had it. you're not going to develop it, you just got to turn the on off button.

[00:32:42] Jami Shapiro: Would you have opted to turn off that ADHD? 

[00:32:46] Dan Sweiger: What a great question. I think probably not. It's been a superpower. it's allowed me to do some pretty great things and accomplish a lot. I wish I would've known more about it a lot sooner. Although when I was a kid. I don't know that it just had the stigma, diagnosing, it wasn't necessarily what it is today in terms of how it opens doors for you.

[00:33:09] Dan Sweiger: But I would love to have understood it more. Earlier could have saved me some heartaches and a lot of stress, but 

[00:33:15] Dan Sweiger: I don't know. I don't think I'd be me without it, so I don't think I'd turn it off. 

[00:33:19] Jami Shapiro: I love that answer. Okay. So let me ask you this other question then. So for people who are discovering it late in life, and how old were you when you were diagnosed?

[00:33:28] Dan Sweiger: Mid forties. 

[00:33:29] Jami Shapiro: Okay. Me too. So for people who are discovering it late in life, fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties, I heard of a man who found out at 80 and, at 87, he said that the last seven years had been the best of his life. What would you say to somebody who is looking back on their life, and realizing, 'cause it meets with grief and relief.

[00:33:48] Jami Shapiro: what would your advice be, to live the best possible life they can live from here on 

[00:33:54] Dan Sweiger: oh, that's easy. Embrace it. don't be embarrassed by it. Don't try to keep a secret of it. Let people in your life know what's going on. So then when you do have those little brain farts or can't remember something that if people didn't know, they might've been shocked that you couldn't remember that.

[00:34:10] Dan Sweiger: But if they know, they're like, oh, okay. No big deal. So to me it was just embrace it. and let people know and let 'em in on it. And I don't know, life's just much better that way. Just so much less stress, so much less worry of embarrassment, all of that. 

[00:34:25] Jami Shapiro: that is a great answer.

[00:34:26] Jami Shapiro: Embrace it. Let them in. Yeah. Okay, well, there, oh, how can people find you? Obviously you only work in San Diego, so let people know who are in San Diego listening, how they can get in touch with you. 

[00:34:37] Dan Sweiger: Sure. Well, and for a national audience brightstar is a national franchise that operates in 41 states.

[00:34:43] Dan Sweiger: Okay. So if there's population there's probably a brightstar in your area. You just go to brightstar care.com. If you want to get to our office specifically, you just add a slash Carlsbad on the end of it, and that gets you to a website and all the information and how to get ahold of us.

[00:34:59] Dan Sweiger: Easy peasy. 

[00:35:00] Jami Shapiro: Awesome. So I don't know about you, but whenever I do an interview or I'm in a conversation and I walk away, I'm like, ah, I should have said that. Why didn't I say that? Is there any last lingering I should have said that, or I'm not gonna feel complete unless this question is asked. 

[00:35:16] Dan Sweiger: No, but I will finish with this thought that I'm really grateful for what you're doing, Jami, you're really onto something here.

[00:35:23] Dan Sweiger: It is not just about ADHD, but there's just not enough understanding and awareness and research and all of that for ADHD in older years. and there's more attention needed on it. So I really appreciate all you're doing to bring attention to this. 

[00:35:37] Jami Shapiro: Well, I appreciate that. And I also wanna say this, when people say, well, why does it matter to me?

[00:35:42] Jami Shapiro: that's just also goes to our society and our whole anti-aging, why does it matter? So you're saying, that because somebody is 70 or 80 years old, they don't deserve to live the best possible life that they can. And When we say anti-aging, I'm like, well, I wanna age because anti-aging means I'm in the ground.

[00:35:58] Jami Shapiro: Right? And so as a society, we really need to do a better job of embracing aging and also de-stigmatizing that because that's really what we should want. That's like the hallmark of success. Like I've lived a long enough life that I'm still here. I've made good choices and, so.

[00:36:15] Jami Shapiro: Anyway, I could go on my soapbox, but I'm gonna totally ADHD on you. Can you hear that? My lawn guy just started downstairs. 

[00:36:23] Dan Sweiger: Little bit. It's not that bad, but I can hear it in the background a little bit. 

[00:36:25] Jami Shapiro: Well, and then, you know what happens when you have ADHD, then you're super distracted because you've got this, right.

[00:36:30] Jami Shapiro: I've got, I'm trying to focus on our con and then I have the squirrel. Anyway, thank you so much, Dan. Thank you for being my friend.I also wanna just out you, Dan gives me the best hugs. We'd like have this thing now, because so many people give the side hug the, like, you know, pat, pat, pat. That is so not genuine.

[00:36:46] Jami Shapiro: Dan and I will go in for the hug. Don't worry. Susie and Brian, nothing's going in for the real 

[00:36:50] Dan Sweiger: thing. 

[00:36:51] Jami Shapiro: Yeah, but we just like hug with intention and it's like, I wanna be hugging you. And I wanna acknowledge that we do that, that's like our thing. And I don't know if you do that with everybody, but I certainly appreciate the way that you hug me.

[00:37:03] Dan Sweiger: I tell you, I do like to hug people, but. I also don't wanna be that creepy guy that's running around going, Hey honey, gimme a hug. So I kind of try to read each person. I try to read their body language and, if they don't look like they're up for it, I don't try or, so I have a lot of people kind of try to gauge it.

[00:37:18] Dan Sweiger: Some people I do give the side hook 'cause that's kind of what they're comfortable with. Some people go into the real thing and some people it's more of hi, how you doing? You know, it's. 

[00:37:27] Jami Shapiro: Okay. All right. Well, I'm not as special as I thought I was. Thanks, Dan. Anyway, 

[00:37:32] Dan Sweiger: you're the only one I'll be, honestly, you're the only one that really wants to go in for like the whole hug, that's for sure.

[00:37:38] Jami Shapiro: Okay. Then I get to be special. I need that. I've got my years of rejection sensitivity. Playing and out there too. Well, thank you so much for finally joining me on the podcast. Thank you for listening to the podcast. If you enjoyed it, I hope that you will share it and that you will like it, because that is the only way that I am going to be able to grow this audience, which is going to build attention because nobody will take you seriously unless you have like all of these, likes and followers on your podcast.

[00:38:04] Jami Shapiro: and the message that I am trying to get out is. As to Dan's point, it's really, really important that we continue to live the best life we possibly can. So thank you so much for joining, and tune in for the next episode. 

[00:38:18] Dan Sweiger: All right, thanks, Jami. 

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