Episode 64 - What happens when you are in a room filled with 1000 ADHD adults?

What happens when you spend three days surrounded by people who think like you, feel like you, and totally get your brain?

In this solo episode of Grandma Has ADHD, Jami sits down (with a few real-life distractions along the way… hi, Benji!) to share her biggest takeaways from the International ADHD Conference — and how it felt to show up fully, authentically, and maybe even a little impulsively.

This isn’t a polished “here are the highlights” recap. It’s honest, vulnerable, funny, emotional, and full of those unfiltered ADHD moments we don’t usually talk about.

From oversharing with strangers to forgetting name tags to unexpectedly crying on stage during a live coaching demo… Jami opens up about:

• confronting her lifelong imposter syndrome
• learning to charge for her coaching
• why perfectionism keeps so many ADHD adults stuck
• how masking shows up — especially for women over 50
• the relief of finding a community where you don’t have to perform
• and why healing often comes from understanding your parents’ ADHD, too

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you’re constantly hustling to keep up, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and a whole lot less alone.

And yes — she finally answers the Button Question: “If you could press a button and erase your ADHD… would you?”

Resources & Links Mentioned:

• Jami’s Coaching & Programs
  • Coaching, workshops & community: jamishapiro.me
  • Book: This Explains So Much — Understanding Undiagnosed ADHD: Available on Amazon
• Home Organizing & Move Management (San Diego)
   • Silver Linings Transitions — silverliningstransitions.com
• Community & Connection
   • Facebook Group: Grandma Has ADHD
   • ADHD Quiz & Resources: grandmahasadhd.com

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Grandma Has ADHD! We hope Jami's journey and insights into ADHD shed light on the unique challenges faced by older adults. Stay tuned for more episodes where we’ll explore helpful resources, share personal stories, and provide guidance for those navigating ADHD. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends who might benefit. Remember, Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

Follow us:

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@grandma_has_adhd
@silverliningstransitions

Facebook:

Silver Linings Transitions
Grandma Has ADHD (Facebook Page & Group)

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Grandma Has ADHD

Transcript

[00:00:00] Have you ever thought, is this just me? When struggling to stay organized, start tasks, or manage time, for those of us over 50, these challenges might not be just aging. They could be ADHD hiding in plain sight for decades. I'm Jami Shapiro, host of Grandma has ADHD, and I'm building a community where your experiences matter.

Whether you are diagnosed, questioning or simply curious. You are not alone. Our Facebook group is filled with vibrant understanding. People over 50 who share their stories, strategies, and yes, even their struggles with plenty of laughter along the way. Ready to find your [00:01:00] people. Join our growing grandma has ADHD Facebook community.

Please like and subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen and share it with someone who might need to hear. They're not alone because ADHD doesn't have an age limit and neither does understanding yourself better. Together, we're changing the conversation about ADHD after 50 come be part of the story.

Hi. You're going to notice that I am doing a solo episode today. I had a guest cancel, but she had a really good reason. We both just got back from the International ADHD conference that was held this year. It was in Kansas next year. Mark your calendars. It's going to be in Baltimore, Maryland, December.

3rd through the 5th. And this episode is all about what it felt like to be among other people who just. Get you. And it's a little [00:02:00] spontaneous because again, I had a guest plan, but I also will say that I have discovered when I do something like go to a conference I want to share it, I wanna write about it, I wanna do all of these things, but then life gets in the way and I move on to the next.

Project. So this was a really good opportunity for me to actually do something that I wanted to do, which was follow up. And I also want to share that that happens to be one of the biggest struggles that I have had, but now realize it's an improvement that I can make with ADHD. 

First of all, I wanna share like, the biggest, the biggest takeaways for me from the conference was how genuinely real we all get to be with each other. And I will give you some really good examples. So they gamify the conference. Which for those of you who need that motivation, that competitionI think that that's such a great strategy.

But the other thing that they did is they gave us like a bingo card so that we would do different [00:03:00] things or meet different people and then we would get tickets based on how many of those. Points we scratched off. And then there was supposed to be a drawing at the end, which there wasn't. But that's okay because it was just the contest alone that motivated me.

One on the Bingo card was give yourself a check mark if you overshared with someone. So they recognized that in the ADHD space. We overshare and it was, it was funny because I definitely had very, very real conversations with people because it's really common in ADHD, not to like small talk.

And so just go in really quickly, meet somebody, connect with them instantly. So that was one of the big takeaways that I thought was funny. The other one that was. Funny was if you left your name tag in your room and had to go back up at least once, you know, give yourself a check mark. I think the biggest thing that I, well, there's so many big things, so I'm not even gonna try the biggest thing with you.

I'm just gonna be real. So there was one point where there was a master coaching session. [00:04:00] And it was a master coach trainer who happened to be one of my coach trainers when I went through my ADDCA coach training. His name is Roger, and they asked for volunteers. And I know that this isn't everybody's cup of tea, but I'm usually the first person to raise my hand when they need a volunteer from the audience.

I like that adrenaline feeling. So he asked for volunteer. My hand went up. And I was called on, which I hadn't thought through because again, we're very impulsive. It was just, you need to volunteer. Oh, here I am. So I get called up and he wants me to give an issue that I want some coaching around.

And one of the big things that I was doing at the conference was I wanted to have the confidence to charge for my coaching. And so just to give you a little bit of background, when you go through ADDCA Coach training, it's about an hour a year of curriculum. We meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

We do three different classes and then in the last class you do [00:05:00] peer coaching and then what you have to do in order to become, so I'm now a, I'm an ADDCA trained ADHD coach, which means I've completed all of my training, but in order to get certified, I have to do 50 hours of coach training.

And in those 50 hours I have to charge. They don't want us giving this away for free and nor should it be because we've spent a lot of time. Gaining this education. So my coach training ends in June, and rather than completing my 50 hours, I decided to write a book.

And I think I knew that I had a lot of information that I wanted to share, and a book was an easy way to dump it out. But if I'm being really honest with you, I was also avoiding having to charge. For my specific training, so I have a business, as you guys hear me talk about it. Silver Linings transitions and we charge for the service of helping people move or doing home organizing, and I have no problem charging for that.

That's a service that's being provided by multiple people, but I was really [00:06:00] struggling with the one-on-one coaching and charging for my time. So I go up and that was the issue that I said I need to figure out how I can get better about charging for my time. Well, Roger is demonstrating what a coach is supposed to do, and I will say that what I had been doing previous to this, conference was listening to people talk and then giving them all of the information that they needed about ADHD so that they had an understanding and they could go out into the world with this new knowledge and make their lives easier. And I was really telling, which is not what coaching is.

Coaching is really being on the journey with your client, but letting them do the work. And you're the observer and you're sharing what you're getting from them, but you're letting them get to the answer. I learned as a result of going through it, how important that really is.

So, Roger, wanted to ask me why I was holding back from charging. I got really uncomfortable and at one point I have to take my jacket off 'cause I start to sweat [00:07:00] in front of all of these people and then I start doubting myself. Why did I go up there? I'm internally beating myself.

I'm wasting everybody's time. This isn't gonna go anywhere. So then I. See a lot of my ADHD playbook coming out. at one point I start joking because a lot of people with ADHD were the class clowns. We were the class clowns because it was easier for us to deflect attention or have people laugh.

With us laugh at us and, then as I'm going through this in front of A room full of people who also have ADHD, I'm like, well, there's my class clown coming up. You guys all know that. And then I got real and really went into the imposter syndrome, which is another very big ADHD trait. And what it really came down to with tears in my eyes, was that back when I was younger.

A lot of my friends and my step-siblings were in the gifted program and when I was in sixth grade, they tried to test me for the gifted program and I was so anxious about this test because I felt like it was gonna validate [00:08:00] me. And you know, when you have ADHD. You received so many negative messages, and so the validation just was sort of like, I am smart, and that was sort of what I was wanting.

Well, PS I did not get the 130 IQ that I needed to get into the gifted program, and they did. Tell my mother that it was close enough that they would test me again, but my mother decided that the anxiety for that it was causing mewas not gonna be good for me. ultimately I also didn't push for it because if I'm being completely honest, I didn't wanna fail for a second time.

And so my entire life, I have carried this. I am not as smart as everybody else. And even though if I was my own friend and I did what I would recommend my coaching clients to do, I would look at all of my accomplishments and I would be, so complimentary because, you know, looking at, from the outside, you know, I've gotten my CSA, I'm on the board of directors for NASMM.

I completed my coach training. I wrote a book in three [00:09:00] months, but. I still for some reason have this imposter syndrome. So anyway, I end up getting to this and I end up realizing that the reason that I don't feel confident charging is that I still have that underlying I'm not worthy message, and I broke down in front of.

All of these people. and I did end up getting to something which I would never have gotten to because Roger held space for me to figure it all out and see what I, the rackets that I was running. at the end of it, I had so many people coming up to me, you know, thinking me so much for what I had done.

And it really changed the course of the entire conference for me because there were so many people who remembered me getting up there. I really was able to. See so many of my patterns playing out but I will just say that I felt more supported in that environment than I probably have felt in any environment.

And so that is the beauty of an ADHD community. When you embrace ADHD with other people, it is so much easier. [00:10:00] So I wanna give you a couple other really big takeaways that I took from the conference. And one of them was there is an ADHD influencer named Jessica McCabe. And if you haven't checked out her videos, she has the how to ADHD on YouTube.

and she has a book by the same name, how to ADHD. And she, in her book, talks about how she started the YouTube channel as she was learning about ADHD. For herself just so that she could remember all of the things and have one place where she was storing all of this information.

And it ended up, she built a huge audience. She got a book deal. She was at conference and she was one of the people that they were interviewing. for panel discussion on four different people who had all written books and were really considered thought leaders in the ADHD space.

We had a closing ceremony and it was funny. For the ADHD closing ceremony, they actually offer two ceremonies. They have the loud music with the dj, [00:11:00] and you know, everybody's dancing. And then they offer a quiet. Closing ceremony with games. And so it's great because it recognizes that with ADHD, you can be both.

I know I've talked about it before in my podcast, but it is so true that and I love Wilma Feldman's description of, a squirrel as her spirit animal. So she says she is part squirrel where she goes from thing to thing to thing and then she retreats and she is that turtle. And I used to always be the first at an event and I was super excited to go, but I also realized.

 if I was gonna be at an event, I wanted to be checking people in, I wanted to be doing dishes, I wanted to be doing something that gave me a purpose than just sort of standing and being there. but I also noticed that I was excited to go, but then I was also usually among the first people to leave and I would use the expression hitting my wall.

And now I know that's an ADHD thing, which again, you know, when you recognize patterns your whole life and then you realize that a lot of this can be attributable to your ADHD. It just, you know, it makes. So much [00:12:00] sense. So I loved one of the other things that I learned and apologize to Benji, but that actually plays perfectly into what I was gonna say, that when you have ADHD, a lot of getting started with something or doing a task that needs to be done or getting rid of that perfectionism that we struggle with is the permission to make it as simple as possible.

because if you create too many steps and. Perfect example was this podcastI delayed starting this podcast for I think four or five months because I was really afraid of the technology and I wanted it to sound great, and I wanted to represent who I was. and just like I say in my book, perfect is the Enemy of Done.

I decided that it was better to just get it started, to get it out into the world, and if the production quality wasn't where I wanted it to be. At least the content would be out there. And so that was a huge realization, is that we need to eliminate as many steps as we can to make something easy.

Another great example that I heard was like [00:13:00] going to the gym. If you have to go to work and then you have to come home and get dressed and then go back out to the gym it's not as likely to happen as if you bring your gym clothes and you go on your way home or you. Go to the gym, you know, that's near your work.

But we wanna eliminate as many steps and as many barriers as we can to doing something. ADHD is definitely driven by perfectionism and I think, you know, back to my story, if you've always heard these messages that you, why can't you get it together? Why do you quit everything?

Lot more messages than that, then you feel like you have to have everything look perfect because you don't want people to see, you know, what's going on underneath the surface. Another big one that's gonna be controversial, but I really wanted to share it, is that there was talk that we should not be calling ADHD a mental illness.

And actually it's a disorder, or not even a disorder, but it's a different brain wiring and [00:14:00] it doesn't necessarily get treated. Through therapy, although I'm not saying therapy isn't beneficial for everybody and the trauma from the ADHD is definitely gonna benefit from therapy, but the behavior that you need to move forward with the ADHD, actually I feel is gonna be better with ADHD coaching and for many people medication.

And you all have heard me say in this podcast that I steer away from the conversation of medication. Not because I don't believe in medication, but because I recognize that my audience are predominantly people over 50 and they may be taking medication for other health conditions.

But I think a bigger part of the problem is we just don't have enough studies out there about medical professionals who understand ADHD in older adults, and we have a lot of gaps right now Everyone who's dealing with ADHD, not just older adults, but it's definitely an area that's being, largely ignored in a way that it shouldn't be.

And [00:15:00] I just wanna say this, that there are therapists that understand ADHD. There are doctors that understand ADHD, and there are a lot who don't. So it's really, really important that if you seek a professional, you seek someone who does have an understanding of ADHD.

I will also say that I gave a presentation while I was there on say Yes to life with ADHD, which is really what I've learned in the speaking that I'm giving when I want to encourage people to learn about their ADHD and use that as an opportunity to sort of. Reflect on their lives and how the power of understanding how ADHD has been in so many areas of your life makes a difference.

Then when you go through gerotranscendence, which is that life stage at the end of your life when you're reflecting on your life and you're looking at the choices and your relationships. You can make peace with those and I think that understanding ADHD and its impact helps to make peace with that.

But one of the questions that I asked [00:16:00] when I did my presentation, the audience, I was explaining my relationship with my mom and how, you know, it was so strained and how coming together to write the book and understanding ADHD had really helped us to repair a relationship that really needed. A lot of repair, and I asked how many people had estranged relationships because it's actually very common in the ADHD space to have estranged relationships.

And more than half the people raised their hand. and I think that's because we are dealing with emotionally dysregulated family that has raised us, and they were raised by emotionally dysregulated people. Because remember, ADHD is highly, highly heritable. And you have generations of people who didn't understand it and they didn't understand rejection sensitivity, which is a real, real thing.

So we perceive things very differently and as my grandmother used to say, we make mountains out of molehill. But I think when you get an understanding of your ADHD and you can look at your parents and how they raised you and look at the [00:17:00] parents and how they raised them, it really. makes sense.

I'm not saying that it excuses your childhood, but I was able to look at my mom and realize that had she been properly treated for her ADHD then she wouldn't have had the trauma that she had and wouldn't have done that which she had done to me. And so there's a lot of healing and forgiveness that can occur when you understand ADHD.

Another thing that was really big was the whole masking term, which I actually learned last year at ADHD and in my book this explains so much. Actually, I'm gonna get a picture for those of you who are watching this on YouTube. You'll see that this was designed my, my child will. Oh, I'm gonna go squirrel on you for a second.

There was an ADHD bookstore and you as an author could bring at least 25 copies of your book. So I only bought 25 copies and there were probably more than 40 books on the tables. And my book sold out well before the book fair ended, which I think says a lot about the cover. Kudos to Will but also because I [00:18:00] was one of the few people to.

About understanding undiagnosed ADHD because I am not a professional who can diagnose ADHD. That is somebody that you have to find a licensed healthcare professional who knows what they're doing. And there's not a lot of good screening for adults and especially older adults or older women. But again, another conversation, 

If you go back and you look at the H, so the M is a lot of stuff because a lot of people at ADHD have a lot of clutter. The U has a little disco ball in it, and that's because we have these brains that are just constantly going. Someone said our brains arefour times ahead of us.

The C is for the impulse control in cookies in eating, but it can also be in shopping. And then the H is, it looks, it's supposed to look like a girdle. And for any of you who ever had to wear one, you know that it like sucks it all in and you're really uncomfortable. And then when you get home and you get to take that girdle off, it's like, ah, I can breathe.

And that's what ADHD masking is called. Masking is when you put yourself at such a high. Function that people think you have it all [00:19:00] together, but really you're held, you're wound so tight. So a lot of us were letting their freak flag fly, and it was, you could see them and you knew that they had ADHD just by looking at them.

And then there were people who. You know, looked like a banker or, that might be an extreme, but they really were not comfortable, like, living authentically or, and I had some conversations with people and I'd be like, oh, you have ADHD. and that topic of masking would come up. So we're gonna take a short break because my lawn people have just come.

I'm gonna continue this conversation when they go, but it'll also give me some time to regroup my thoughts. Have you listened to a little bit of what's coming up? For my coaching, jamihapiro.me. And of course if I haven't asked you to like and subscribe to this podcast, I hope that you will. I'm definitely going to come back to this and revisit especially the conversations that I had with people who have parents who are.

[00:20:00] Likely living with undiagnosed ADHD, but refuse to have conversations about it. And that's gonna be a really big thing we're gonna talk about when we come back from the break. I am also going to answer the button question. That is the question that I ask my guests. If they could press a button and not have ADHD and never have had it, would they press that button?

You know that feeling when Monday rolls around and you have all the plans, but by Tuesday you're already behind. Yeah, me too. That's the ADHD brain doing its thing. I'm Jami Shapiro and I'm launching something I Wish had existed when I first discovered my ADHD. Grandma has ADHD a membership community.

For women who found out later in life that they have ADHD and have spent way too long feeling like they don't quite fit in. Here's the thing, going it alone doesn't [00:21:00] work for ADHD brains. We need accountability without judgment. We need people who get it. We need structure that actually sticks. That's why I'm kicking things off with Monday Momentum and make it happen.

Sessions one year of ADHD coaching followed by body doubling where we actually do the things together. No more lonely to-do lists. No more starting strong and fading by Wednesday. If you join the founder circle, you'll lock in this low rate for life as long as you keep your yearly membership. Plus, you'll get quarterly private sessions with just me and the other founders as we build this community together.

This isn't just another membership created to take your money. This is the support system we've been looking for. Head to jamishapiro.me to add your name to the interest list. Let's stop [00:22:00] going it alone. That's Jami Shapiro. J-A-M-I-S-H-A-P-I-R-O.me.

Ever wondered why helping a loved one declutter feels like speaking different languages? I did, especially with my mom. It wasn't until I founded Silver Linings Transitions helping San Diego seniors organize and move for over a decade that I discovered why we all experienced clutter differently. And for those of us with ADHD, it's a whole other world.

If you are listening in the San Diego area and feeling stuck with moving. Paperwork, photos or home organization. Our team at Silver Linings Transitions gets it. We understand ADHD's unique challenges and we won't just help you get organized. We'll create sustainable systems that. Finally stick [00:23:00] Schedule a consultation with our team today at 7 6 0 5 2 2 1 6 2 4.

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Okay, I am back and hopefully you got some great information about all of the programming that I am working on. This is really, really exciting. I am most excited about the workshop on Black Friday, which is. Called from overwhelmed to come on over. This actually came because my mother was sharing that she was at her building.

She lives in a 55 and over building in Florida, and there was a woman talking about her art, and my mom wanted to go and see it, and the woman said, oh, you, you can't come into [00:24:00] my apartment. my apartment's a mess. And that would've been how my mom would've been. But then she's like, oh, well my daughter wrote a book and here are pictures of my home.

And that broke the ice for them. And I think that a lot more people live this way than you even understand. And there is. Quite an issue with ADHD and impulsive spending and accumulation, and that is exactly what we're gonna talk about because really is it a great sale if the tag is still on?

It doesn't matter what the price is, if you didn't need it or don't use it. So that is what we're gonna address. I made it a super, super low price. If you register before November 25th, it's gonna be $17. Otherwise it's gonna go up to $34, but I don't think it will ever be this price again.

It's something that I look forward to doing on a regular basis. I'm also building a community because one of the things that I have learned, and this also came up with conferences, is that people with ADHD. We like to do things together. We need that accountability. We [00:25:00] need the cheerleaders. We need that body doubling.

So I am going to be building two different communities. One is gonna be geared towards, I'm calling it moms in the middle. And those are like me who still have children. Maybe they have children at home, or maybe they've got young adult children and they also have aging parents. and it's really geared to people like me who have ADHD, and who have at least a child or a parent with ADHD. Because what we're going to do is we're gonna explore getting our shit together and together. And we're gonna talk about all of the things that come up. But I'm also going to bring in my certified senior advisor and my certified senior move manager.

Hat and help with all of the things that are gonna come up that are gonna come across for your aging parent. And then I'm gonna bring in community experts that are gonna support the community. Andit's gonna launch in January, but I have not finished all of the details, but if you will.

Go to the jamishapiro.me website, you will have an opportunity to learn more as it [00:26:00] goes. that's J-A-M-I, Shapiro, S-H-A-P-I-R-O, dot me because I could not get.com, which I think is hysterical. But you know what? I love the me even more because that is exactly who I am.

I am living authentically in a way that I never have. Before, thanks to understanding my ADHD and finding my tribewho are so grateful, especially in this time that we're living in, when there's so much automation, there's so much AI, we want connection and I think that we connect with people when they show up as their true selves and they share stories and we 

keep it real. So jamishapiro.me seems to be perfect. The other group is actually going to be for the people that I wrote the book which is people who have a lot of clutter. They are looking atwanting to not put their children into a situation where all they wanna do is come and get the dumps.

Truck and take it all away. Or like my mom, where she brought everything that was my grandmother's into her home and lived in really like a whole home. [00:27:00] There's Benji,Do I pause because it's distracting or do I keep it real for you?

So I think since it's a lot of barking, I'm gonna pause for a minute and come back when hopefully he is quiet.So there were two more things that I wanted to talk about. One was the button question, which I'm gonna save for the end. And the other one was the observation that I made with a lot of people.

So my grandma has ADHD stickers. Were very popular at the ADHD conference. we seem to like all of the little things a lot. A lot of stickers. In fact, hang on, I'm gonna show you my water bottle. For those of you who are watching it on YouTube. I accumulated quite a few stickers for my water bottle.

So you don't just see the grandma has ADHD. You see one with a brain that says, keep talking. I'm diagnosing you. Expectations are planned. Resentments. I think we need to do a whole episode on that one. Then here's one that says You aren't broken. You are a disco ball, which is funny 'cause that's what's on my [00:28:00] book.

A disco ball is hundreds of pieces of broken glass together to make a magical ball of light. But it's also that thing that just spins all the time, like my brain. So those are the really exciting ones. make someone smile today. And then of course, aging equals living because that's really part of my message.

Not only am I concerned about the stigmatization of ADHD, but also our society that keeps talking about anti-aging is my other soapbox. So those are my two worlds coming together. a lot of people came up to me at conference and they said that they knew that they had an ADHD parent becoming very obvious, but their parent doesn't wanna hear about it, doesn't wanna talk about it, doesn't wanna address it.

And I think the reason that that's happening. Is that, you know, we have generations of people who stigmatized anything that was disordered. And of course part of that is what they used to say about ADHD and how they would call it minimal brain function or minimal brain dysfunction and calling it disordered and the stigma [00:29:00] of mental health in general.

And so there, there's also this thing when you're a parent and I understand that, is that you feel this guilt of, i've passed these genes along to you, which really we know that we can't control what genes we do or we don't pass at this point. And so I think that rather than our parents. Owning it, stepping into it, which is what I'm trying to do, and making peace with it.

They wanna avoid it and that is certainly not solving any problems. So, again, that is a big part of the grandma has ADHD mission and what I'm doing as a coach is. Bringing this to awareness, not putting that stigma on it. And you'll actually here right now, this is a real working ADHD moment.

I had a really great thought along those lines that I wanted to share about why it's so stigmatized and I dropped it and then I got distracted in my thought because I. was trying to think of what it was that I really wanted to say, and so you might have seen me go down that spiral, but [00:30:00] what you're also gonna hear is there's another distraction.

We're just keeping it real today, aren't we? Benji? Was why it is so stigmatized. Oh, I remember. No, I lost it again. You were saying in real life what it looks like to have ADHD. So I've got this brain that just doesn't always do what I want it to do. So I'm gonna do the button question and then I'm hoping that what I was thinking about is going to come back to me.

I know it had to do with, and maybe I'll go there. It had to do with, one of the reasons that we've stigmatized ADHD so much is thatwe called it like Hyperkinetic. We thought that it was a disorder. We thought that people were stupid. they didn't understand that it was a different brain wiring and they didn't understand that it was interest-based.

and it's so funny because people will even say, you can't have ADHD. You are smart. And that's such a stereotype because really people with ADHD are brilliant. We just have to find where our brilliance lies. So I can't remember [00:31:00] exactly what I was gonna say, but I think I hit the point home.

So if you're listening to this podcast, then that means you are open to the idea of ADHD. And you probably have ADHD friends because we tend to birds of a feather flock together. And it was amazing to me, looking back on my life, how many of my. Friends ended up having ADHD and none of us even knew it because we thought it was only the hyperactive little boys.

And anyway, so the last question is the button question. 'cause I always ask the people that I'm interviewing if they would push the button, which is, I got that from Penn Holderness at last year's International, ADHD. When he said if there was that easy button and he could push it and not have ADHD, would he push that button?

And he said he would've pushed it as a child, but he absolutely wouldn't push it as an adult that it has really served him. and so I always ask my guests now if they would push that button, and I will say to you that every single person. Actually, I'm not gonna tell you the answer because I want you to listen to other episodes of the podcast.

' cause I know what I do. If I hear a podcast and I like it, then I wanna go [00:32:00] back. And it's funny 'cause if you listen to where I am now, which is I've completed ADHD coach training, I've written a book I've now had my second child diagnosed with ADHD versus where I started, It's a journey.

I knew when I was starting that I had to start somewhere and that I would grow with my knowledge and, I have. but it is always fun. Even when I start listening to podcasts, I'll usually listen to that first episode that someone recorded and gave me the courage I needed. And if I haven't driven this message, home, perfect is the enemy of done.

And please don't let perfect get in the way of you, you know, authentically expressing yourself, contributing to the world. Because as Lady Gaga said baby, you were born this way. And that is the reality. We were born with this brain for a reason and I really, really believe that. And so anyway, button question.

Don't think I have forgotten. I would absolutely not press that button. That isn't to say that there aren't parts of ADHD that I would. I [00:33:00] would like to trade those in and I'll give you a couple of the big ones. And then I'll probably do an episode on what I would trade in the rejection sensitivity for sure.

I definitely know that I take rejection much harder than other people. In fact, at the conference I said, if, you know, I get 10 positive comments and one negative comment. The negative one is the one that I'm gonna. Spiral about and, continue thinking about. So I said, please don't gimme any negative comments, which was great because I could say that in that audience and they all got it.

So I don't like the rejection sensitivity. I don't like that I speed through so many things that I make stupid mistakes. And here's, one that I know. Really bothered my boyfriend, and it's something that like, has sat with me. So he bought a new stove, new oven with a glass top and I was getting a hot stoneware out of the oven.

And I went to put it on top of the cooktop, not thinking. And when I put it on there, I slid it And I scratched the stainless steel, and it's there forever. And he's [00:34:00] super meticulous. In fact, he doesn't even let me do dishes because I don't take care of things the way that he does.

And he has a Starbucks collection of all of the places that he's ever gone. He gets a Starbucks mug and, I broke one. Just putting dishes away, like I rush so much that it's really, really hard to slow it down. So, you know, definitely those, I will say one area where I know a lot of people with ADHD struggle 

It's definitely something that we can overcome and I feel really proud that I have overcome it, is that negative self-talk. I am really kind to myself. I really do think of that voice in my head and I do not beat myself up. I think actually that's one of the reasons I think we are so resilient is that we make so many mistakes that if we dwelled on them then we just wouldn't function.

And Here's a truth. I, picked out these wood floors when we bought this house. I didn't like the, Tile bow wood, and it was really uncomfortable and ugly, and I didn't like it. So I wanted to replace the floors, and this is a [00:35:00] good thing that my boyfriend doesn't listen to this podcast.

So anyway, I rushed to make a decision, which is how I make most of my decisions because We don't like to make decisions. just gimme a choice A and a choice B and let me decide and move on. But what I find is when I do make a decision, even if I don't like that decision, I just have to move on from it because I would just.

get stuck in the muck of these bad decisions. So lots of ways that ADHD is not such a positive thing, but here I am. I have it. I don't have a choice about having it. But I can make the rest of my life the best of my life and I can also make the rest of your life a better life. I appreciate you listening to this podcast.

It was definitely different. It definitely was full of my ADHD moments. Anyway, please like this podcast comment on this podcast. Share it with your friends 'cause remember, birds of a Feather flock together. Thanks for listening. The opinions expressed on Grandma has ADHD podcast are those of our guests and hosts and are intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. This [00:36:00] podcast does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The content discussed in this episode is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health, professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health concern. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast.

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