Episode 76 - Jami Shapiro on Love, Relationships and ADHD

“ADHD, Dating & Relationships”

with Jami Shapiro and Lynn Layfield

Episode Summary
In this candid and personal conversation, Jamie sits down with longtime friend Lynn to explore how ADHD has shaped their dating lives, marriages, and relationships. From impulsivity and rejection sensitivity to energy mismatches and household chaos, they unpack the real-world impact of ADHD across different life stages. The episode also introduces the vision behind their growing community, the Sparkler Society, designed to support midlife women navigating ADHD-related challenges.

What You’ll Learn

• How ADHD traits like impulsivity, hyperactivity, and executive dysfunction can influence romantic relationships
• Why rejection sensitivity and recognition-seeking play a big role in communication dynamics
• The connection between ADHD, self-esteem, and partner selection
• How energy levels and love languages can create friction in marriages
• Lessons learned from divorce, long-term partnership, and dating later in life
• The importance of community support and shared problem-solving

Key Topics & Moments

• Origin Story: Jamie and Lynn’s decades-long friendship and wedding memories
• ADHD & Marriage: How difficulty sitting still, household management challenges, and differing needs for connection affected Jamie’s first marriage
• Dating Patterns: Lynn reflects on short early relationships and attention shifts
• Rejection Sensitivity: Understanding emotional responses and communication impulses
• Energy Mismatch: When one partner’s pace and drive outstrip the other’s
• Community Building: Inside the Sparkler Society and features like the “Worry Circle” and “High Road”

Standout Insights

• ADHD can amplify both connection and conflict in relationships
• Many adults discover their ADHD only after years of relationship patterns
• Shared understanding (or diagnosis) can foster compassion between partners
• Support systems reduce isolation and improve problem-solving

Memorable Quotes

• “If it cracks like a duck and waddles like a duck… it might be ADHD.”
• “Sometimes it burns in my body until I say it.”
• “You have to be with someone who appreciates your energy.”

Who This Episode Is For

• Adults navigating ADHD in dating, marriage, or divorce
• Midlife listeners reevaluating relationship patterns
• Anyone curious about how neurodiversity shapes emotional connection

Call to Action

If this episode resonated, share it with a friend who might feel seen by this conversation, and keep the discussion going about how ADHD shows up in relationships.

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Grandma Has ADHD! We hope Jami's journey and insights into ADHD shed light on the unique challenges faced by older adults. Stay tuned for more episodes where we’ll explore helpful resources, share personal stories, and provide guidance for those navigating ADHD. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends who might benefit. Remember, Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

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Transcript

Jami and Lynn

[00:00:00] Speaker: Wow. My thing just keeps going. 

[00:00:04] Speaker 2: We're on. We're on. 

[00:00:04] Speaker: Oh, okay. My light went out. Oh, whatever. 

[00:00:08] Speaker 2: Okay. All right, [00:00:10] starting now. Hello and welcome to a very special, uh, unique edition of the Grandma has a ADHD podcast. I am your host, Jamie [00:00:20] Shapiro, and I am joined today by my very good friend, uh, Lynn Layfield. Uh, not only is she a very good friend, um, we have a [00:00:30] big history together.

[00:00:31] Speaker 2: Lynn and I met, um, in college in the Public Relations Student Society of America, and we were casual [00:00:40] friends in school. And then we reconnected in our hometown of Jacksonville, Florida back in the nineties when nobody had cell phones. And we [00:00:50] just ran into each other the old fashioned way at the mall. So, uh, we were not in touch on Facebook, but that really started a.

[00:00:58] Speaker 2: Um, let's just say this way, I was [00:01:00] the alternate bridesmaid in Lynn's wedding. Lynn, you wanna tell why I was the alternate bridesmaid? And then we'll go a little more into it. 

[00:01:08] Speaker: I don't wanna throw anybody under the [00:01:10] bus, but, you know, you were, you were, um, initially gonna hand out programs and then one of my bridesmaids, um, um, ran into some [00:01:20] legal trouble and was unable to attend my wedding.

[00:01:24] Speaker: So, uh, that immediately stepped you up. From handing out programs, which I think you would've [00:01:30] loved to do 'cause you could greet all the guests. You also didn't, wouldn't have had to pay for a dress, but I love that you ended up, uh, becoming one of the bridesmaids because, uh, [00:01:40] you just added, added to the fun of being in the, in the, uh, in the group and buying the dress and being part of, you know, all that is [00:01:50] the bridesmaid bridesmaid's responsibilities.

[00:01:52] Speaker: So, sure. I think a good bride made, and, you know, you've been, of course, you've been a part of my marriage. So [00:02:00] 

[00:02:00] Speaker 2: yeah, 

[00:02:00] Speaker: it all comes full circle. 

[00:02:02] Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's funny because, um, I think you, you had the dresses, um, you asked me and then like, it was the next day [00:02:10] you needed to get the dresses, so you're like, I need a decision.

[00:02:12] Speaker 2: And if you're gonna do it, which, so yeah. So PS so when I got married, and that's a big part of this story today, um, I told [00:02:20] Lynn that she could be a bridesmaid and she did not have to be an alternate. So I bet that made you feel really good. But, uh, what. 

[00:02:28] Speaker: Yeah. Well, you didn't have the [00:02:30] Yeah, yeah. All your bridesmaids were, um, were, uh, upstanding people who didn't have any legal problems.

[00:02:38] Speaker: Say 

[00:02:38] Speaker 2: Yes, and, and I'm [00:02:40] actually, uh, interesting enough, um, my, I am divorced. That's gonna be part of this podcast that we talk about, because actually, let me tell you what the theme of today's podcast is. It is going to be a [00:02:50] DHD and in impact on dating and relationships. Um, and I feel like I am a unique candidate to discuss that, and you're gonna [00:03:00] learn why as we talk about this podcast.

[00:03:02] Speaker 2: But I didn't want to do this podcast by myself. I felt like it would be more entertaining if you could just hear how Lynn and I talk about things. Um, [00:03:10] but also I thought that it would be fun to have Lynn join. Because Lynn and I have started the Sparkler Society, and we are [00:03:20] in the process of building this amazing community.

[00:03:23] Speaker 2: And when I say amazing, I mean like amazing community for women. I mean, we're not, we're not [00:03:30] checking, um, driver's licenses, but I think most women who benefit will really be middle aged, you know, dealing with, uh, aging parents. Um, or they [00:03:40] are aging and they're retiring, but you know, we've lived our entire lives not knowing that we had a DHD, and all of a sudden we're like, wait.

[00:03:48] Speaker 2: And that, [00:03:50] that might be me. And so we're not looking for formal diagnoses. Um, we're looking for if it cracks like a duck and it waddles like a duck and it swims like a duck and it looks like a duck, [00:04:00] it might be a duck. But we're not, we're not requiring, um, that you have a diagnosis. And the reality is anybody who struggles, um, in life with.

[00:04:09] Speaker 2: [00:04:10] Being organized or making decisions or feeling overly sensitive or having too much stuff, um, or buying more than they should, or accumulating or [00:04:20] impulsive eating. All of that really falls under the A DHD umbrella and, and you're the community of people, uh, that we're looking to help. One of my absolute favorite [00:04:30] additions to the group, uh, among many is gonna be the, the worry circle.

[00:04:34] Speaker 2: Um, when you have a DHD, tell me, I know you do this, Lynn, 'cause I remember. When [00:04:40] you have something on your mind, it can keep you up at night. And Lynn, I remember, and, and I don't think I'm wrong, that you told me you used to hate to sleep alone in your house because you would, you know, have a lot of [00:04:50] fear.

[00:04:50] Speaker 2: Am I, am I getting that right? 

[00:04:52] Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would, I, imagination is a wonderful thing, but can be be terrifying when it's [00:05:00] turned on you with worrying. Yeah. And um, and you know, I, I learned to sort of journal my worries, but I, I have discovered [00:05:10] that sometimes journaling. By myself. It's just not enough.

[00:05:13] Speaker: And so journaling and sharing is even better. And if you get that worry out, um, you're gonna feel [00:05:20] so much better. And it's not just about, you know, worrying and then trying to figure out, um, your next steps when you share it with somebody, you're [00:05:30] actually problem solving together, so you're not alone. So I like, I like that.

[00:05:34] Speaker: I like that. I think, I think that is. Probably one of my favorite parts of the Sparkler Society. I [00:05:40] think I'm gonna be on that worry chat probably as just about as much as everybody else. And so, um, I may be the main moderator on that chat. Jamie. 

[00:05:49] Speaker 2: Yeah. [00:05:50] Well, I'll tell you the other one that I'm really excited about, Lynn, and this is probably when you need to join as well.

[00:05:54] Speaker 2: I'm calling it the High Road. So, uh, when I was going through my divorce. Um, you [00:06:00] know, I have this thing and, and I don't know if you can relate to this, but sometimes I wanna say something so badly, I don't even care what the consequences is gonna be. [00:06:10] It, it is gonna burn my body until I get it out. But sometimes it's really not the thing that I should be saying.

[00:06:16] Speaker 2: Do you, can you relate to that? 

[00:06:18] Speaker: Oh, are you [00:06:20] kidding me? I think, uh, every place that I've ever worked, I mean, you know, it is, it is one of those things, [00:06:30] um, that. Um, you know, I've definitely felt the consequences of, you know, it may not, may not have been my time to tell somebody [00:06:40] exactly everything that maybe I knew or I thought that could be better, especially sort of in the, in the corporate work environment.

[00:06:48] Speaker: I think that's where it's had a lot of [00:06:50] impact, uh, with me. And then, you know, also, uh, there are times when there's a nuance. And so identifying that nuance and understanding that. But [00:07:00] yes, there are times that I've, I've wanted to say and just be completely honest and or, or have had that impulse to kind of over overly [00:07:10] share something, um, that may have been misconstrued as like, this is the way you should do things or, or something like that.

[00:07:19] Speaker: I don't know. I [00:07:20] just, I, I know that I do it. You know, I do it and I do that afterwards. I feel bad, um, and know that I shouldn't have done it. 

[00:07:28] Speaker 2: Okay. So [00:07:30] I do it a lot with my kids. So I have children. My youngest is a senior in high school, and my um. My pseudo adult, uh, 22-year-old who's [00:07:40] graduated college, but hasn't, like, flown the nest the way she wants to yet.

[00:07:44] Speaker 2: Um, we go into it all the time because I'm having a hard time not just telling her what to do. And so [00:07:50] anyway, the high road is gonna be that. So when I was going through my divorce, um, whenever I didn't say exactly what I wanted to say to my ex-husband and I like kept it in. [00:08:00] I gave myself a point, I'm not even kidding.

[00:08:02] Speaker 2: I like was like, Ooh, so this is gonna be sort of the equivalent to that. But I would've had a lot more fun with it if I had been able to go to a [00:08:10] group and say like, this is what happened and this is what I wanted to say and this is what I said. And everybody can go, woo yay Jamie. Right. And um, one of the things that I've learned in [00:08:20] the A DHD space is that we, we suffer from.

[00:08:23] Speaker 2: Rejection sensitivity. Some people call it rejection sensitivity dysphoria because we have a, an. [00:08:30] An uneven perception of rejection. Um, but we also have, on the flip side of that, we have what's called re rejection euphoria, which [00:08:40] I mean, I'm sorry. Um, recognition, euphoria. Okay. So we, we like that recognition.

[00:08:46] Speaker 2: So I can just see myself going to the high road and being [00:08:50] like. This is what I did and have everybody, you know, like really making me feel better. So, um, that's, you know, we're just really building and this is what I say, we are building a [00:09:00] community for people with a DHD by people with a DHD. And you know, Lynn, one of the other things I'm super excited about is that you're going to be.

[00:09:08] Speaker 2: Helping hands-on [00:09:10] tech support so that when people are onboarding, because we know that this is gonna be a digital membership and there are gonna be people who are gonna be intimidated by that, and we don't, we [00:09:20] don't want there to be a barrier for them. And so you're going to on help everybody on board and there'll be like a monthly session for everybody that comes in.

[00:09:28] Speaker 2: And when they can do that, it'll [00:09:30] be recorded. Um, and then also you're gonna have live q and A tech questions because you are a tech guru, right? 

[00:09:38] Speaker: I mean, I happened to be one of [00:09:40] those A DHD people that, um, I found that tech could actually help me. Um, but you know, I also understand [00:09:50] that technology is making some people's A DHD worse because you're getting these notifications popping up.

[00:09:57] Speaker: You get things on your phone, when do you turn your [00:10:00] phones off, all those things. So I can actually help, um, you know, with some sessions on how can we reduce the tech noise. Or how can we choose sort of [00:10:10] the right tech products that work with the way we like to work, um, for our particular, the way that our brain functions.

[00:10:17] Speaker: So I do have some tips and tricks there. [00:10:20] And then of course I will be there to support anyone along the way. If you're inside of a chat, um, or you're trying to navigate within the digital membership, um, I will be [00:10:30] there. Um, always available for you in the tech space for sure. 

[00:10:33] Speaker 2: Show. Yeah, and I would, I wanted to say one of the other big things that I learned as a result of my A DHD coaching is that when you have a [00:10:40] DHD, you like to skip from, you know, start here to go here, if there are too many steps, you just plug and play.

[00:10:45] Speaker 2: And then what ends up happening with technology is that you didn't. Set it up correctly [00:10:50] and then all of a sudden, you know, it's not working for you. So, um, there are also people like me where, where the technology becomes a bigger problem because I'm constantly having to reboot. I don't [00:11:00] remember passwords.

[00:11:00] Speaker 2: It's, it's so, so in some ways, although it's easy, it's also makes my life so much more difficult. So I'm, that was another really big one. But this, this actually episode isn't [00:11:10] about. Membership. But I was excited because we are working together on this and I wanted people to hear about it. But I wanted to bring this episode specifically to the audience [00:11:20] because, um, I, I am, um, recently wanna give the drum roll.

[00:11:26] Speaker: Oh yeah. Yeah, I know. I should have been there. [00:11:30] World, please. Yes. 

[00:11:31] Speaker 2: I'm, I'm recently engaged. Um, but I, uh, so you heard that I was married. I have been divorced. I [00:11:40] was, I have been unmarried for 10 years and five years before I met my fiance. I went out with [00:11:50] 150 men. 

[00:11:53] Speaker: Yeah, 

[00:11:53] Speaker 2: and I did not know that I had a DHD when I was married the first time.

[00:11:58] Speaker 2: And, um, and [00:12:00] I will will say that the impact of A DHD on my marriage and on my relationships and on the way that I dated is [00:12:10] significant. And it's something that we don't even consider. So I wanted to, to have Lynn you come on, because I don't like to just talk to myself. And you and I always laugh, so you're gonna interview [00:12:20] me right?

[00:12:21] Speaker: Yeah, I'm interviewing you. So yeah, 

[00:12:24] Speaker 2: so 

[00:12:25] Speaker: I start 50 dates. I think that's 

[00:12:28] Speaker 2: great. I'm gonna take a [00:12:30] pause because, um, for those of you who listen regularly, you know that Benji, my dog, I have to feed him to keep him quiet while I do the podcast. And there's this one treat that [00:12:40] sometimes it gets. Caught in his mouth and he'll start whining and I can't, as a good dog mom, listen to him whine.

[00:12:45] Speaker 2: So we're gonna pause while we actually, I'm, we're not gonna pause, but did [00:12:50] Lynn, you're gonna talk to the audience a little bit more about whatever you wanna talk about and then I'm gonna come right back. Okay? 

[00:12:58] Speaker: Okay. I, I, you [00:13:00] know, 

[00:13:00] Speaker 2: take a pause 

[00:13:01] Speaker: and they can listen. Share my cereal, my, my, um, a DD dating while you're feeding your dog.

[00:13:07] Speaker 2: Sure. Go ahead. 

[00:13:09] Speaker: [00:13:10] So what's really interesting, um, is that I noticed that when it came to dating back in my single days, um, [00:13:20] that, you know, I was only having like two week relationships. So, um, it was always, you know, shiny toy or, you know, you see somebody else [00:13:30] or, um, just the attention span just wasn't there.

[00:13:33] Speaker: So the idea of trying to find. Um, a lifelong partner. I mean, there were times where I was like, [00:13:40] well. You're not gonna find a lifelong partner to be with if you're constantly, uh, breaking up with everybody after two weeks. So, you [00:13:50] know, learning to, to just know that about, about myself and when, you know, I finally did, I guess you'd say find the one because, uh, Jamie was [00:14:00] there to witness it as the bridesmaid.

[00:14:02] Speaker: So. Found the one, have have been with my husband for about 29 years, but, um, [00:14:10] it was not an easy path there. Um, I'd have to say, um, Jamie went on that path twice and I was with Jamie on the [00:14:20] first path. And then I've been with Jamie on the second, on the second road. So, um, you probably wanna talk about the first road.

[00:14:28] Speaker 2: Absolutely. 

[00:14:29] Speaker: Yes. [00:14:30] Let's talk about dating the first road, because that is one where you, when you, when you mentioned the high road, there were a couple times, uh, that when it came to dating, you said [00:14:40] exactly what was on your mind. And one example comes to mind is when you and I were out and um, a guy would approach us.

[00:14:48] Speaker: And you would [00:14:50] immediately tell him that you were Jewish, like we haven't even gotten to that point. 

[00:14:54] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. 

[00:14:54] Speaker: But you just wanted him to know that right then. And what's really funny is, is I am not Jewish, I'm [00:15:00] Catholic. And I was like, dang it, Jamie, just. Basically made us look like two Jewish people dating and those guys were, would take in the [00:15:10] information and you know, they were, they were nice, but it was like we just came over to say hello.

[00:15:15] Speaker: So that's one, that's one thing that I remember. But what do you remember about that [00:15:20] early twenties? 

[00:15:22] Speaker 2: That, that matters to our audience because I think the majority of our listeners are probably in that if they're, if they're in their forties and they're [00:15:30] curious about dating relationship, they even wanna know how it's impacting their marriage or how it's impacting them, being single.

[00:15:36] Speaker 2: And, um, one thing that, um, that I have [00:15:40] learned is that the, the divorce rate is significantly higher among people with a DHD. I have some theories for that. I'm gonna share with you my own marriage and how the A DHD [00:15:50] impacted that. Um, and sorry, and then, you know what I did, I forgot to turn off, turn on my focus.

[00:15:58] Speaker 2: So now it's on. Um, [00:16:00] and I dropped a pen. 

[00:16:01] Speaker: Uh, nothing like 

[00:16:02] Speaker 2: doing it in real life. So when I was married the first time. Um, you know, I am abrupt. Uh, definitely [00:16:10] we talked about that already in the beginning. I, I say what's on my mind. I have a very hard time with the filter. Um, but I will say one of the two biggest areas where A DHD [00:16:20] impacted my marriage were both my inability to sit still.

[00:16:24] Speaker 2: Um, and so my ex-husband wanted me to sit down and, and connect with him. And his [00:16:30] love language was quality time, which meant me being present with him. I am, you know, well, in fairness, I have three young children. So just as a young [00:16:40] mom, you know, a mom of young children, that's gonna be difficult when you're momming, right?

[00:16:44] Speaker 2: But I did really have a hard time just sitting and being with him. And there were times like, and, and in [00:16:50] hindsight, knowing what I know now, uh, I recognize that I should have let some of those things go and given him that attention. So that was absolutely an impact of a DHD. [00:17:00] Another impact was that I, I don't think my house ran as smoothly and well, and so because of that chaos, it impacted because, and I hate to say this and I [00:17:10] say it, you know, again in this podcast pretty regularly, but I think women tend to be more impacted by A DHD because we're still at a time where the women's expected to run the household, [00:17:20] make sure that every, everything is running well.

[00:17:22] Speaker 2: And that's just another responsibility for somebody with A DHD who's already, you know, struggling with. The executive functioning of and then to be [00:17:30] the executive functioning of a home in addition to her own life. And for me, I think my A DHD got significantly worse when I had to balance everybody else in my household and [00:17:40] not just me.

[00:17:41] Speaker 2: So that was another way I would say that, you know, the clutter, um, can definitely be stressful for people. And then lastly, I am actually combined [00:17:50] type of A DHD, which means I am hyperactive as well as inattentive. And so I have an unusual energy level, um, that [00:18:00] most, uh, 55-year-old women. I'm about to be 56, uh, in two weeks.

[00:18:04] Speaker 2: Uh, you are 56, Lynn, just to, you know, put, I know. 20 days older than I am. [00:18:10] Um, but I will say that my ex-husband could not keep up with me. And I used to get really frustrated, like, why are you just sitting around like, you know, go, go, go, go, go. Like, I [00:18:20] get up in the morning and I'm like, I can have a full conversation.

[00:18:23] Speaker 2: I can get up in the middle of the night, I can have a full conversation and eventually go back to sleep. Like I just don't need [00:18:30] the reset that other people need. So that definitely had its impact. And then, um, you know, obviously we had other issues, uh, as well. People with A [00:18:40] DHD tend to have lower self-esteem, so we might date somebody that maybe doesn't treat us as well as we should be treated because we have, are so used to all those [00:18:50] negative messages, um, that, you know, that.

[00:18:53] Speaker 2: That's what we think we deserve. But also, you know, they've, they've shown that we have different attachment styles and somebody who [00:19:00] grows up in a chaotic household, which by the way, A DHD is heritable. So I grew up in a chaotic household, and then we go out and we repeat those patterns. So that's the demise of [00:19:10] marriage number one, right?

[00:19:11] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:19:12] Speaker 2: Anything you wanna throw in? 'cause you were an observer. 

[00:19:17] Speaker: Yeah, I mean, you know, you have to be [00:19:20] with somebody that appreciates your energy and so it is, it is very, very hard. Um, if somebody like, is wanting for you to, you know, kind of sit [00:19:30] down and relax and there's, you had, you had so much to do and I think the other thing that you, maybe you didn't bring up that you were doing, um, starting [00:19:40] multiple businesses.

[00:19:41] Speaker: Um, you were starting multiple businesses at the time of raising children while running a household. So these are all, these are all the things that both [00:19:50] feed, you know, feed your excitement, but to, you know, your, to a partner, um, is kind of like, well. [00:20:00] Can you just not start a business? No, I have to start a business.

[00:20:03] Speaker: Can you just not do this for the children? No, I need to do this for the kids. And, you know, and so the other [00:20:10] things like the, the laundry, all I, all I recall is, is a, some laundry sitting on the couch. And so, you know, I mean. The laundry would, would be [00:20:20] there in different stages of, you know, maybe folded, but then still, still be there on the couch.

[00:20:25] Speaker: Hopefully you're not embarrassed by that. I don't think anybody, 

[00:20:28] oh 

[00:20:28] Speaker 2: no, 

[00:20:28] Speaker: I forgot. Be embarrassed by that. [00:20:30] But that was definitely one of those that you were, you know, I think I, I was over there one day and you were going back and forth and back and forth, uh, doing some other things, but then I [00:20:40] was sitting like right next to a laundry basket, so it was like, I love that.

[00:20:45] Speaker: You were on a different, you were on a different mission, but the laundry was kind of staying where [00:20:50] it was because that was not your mission at that moment. And I think you were cooking too. You were like cooking, answering phones, having a conversation with [00:21:00] me, and it's like laundry is sitting there, uh, wherever it happened to stay.

[00:21:05] Speaker: So, um, so yeah, I mean, I think those were all, [00:21:10] those were all contributors. Um, you know, as. And as I, uh, and, and of course I was there for the comments, uh, that I [00:21:20] heard, you know, um, from, from your ex-husband where he was like, look at her. She can't sit down. And I was like, of course. But this is one of the things I love [00:21:30] about her.

[00:21:30] Speaker: Like I, when I went there, I, I, I feel like my energy level is met with equal energy level and we are just running the world. So, [00:21:40] um, I was like, I don't see the problem with it. I don't think at all. 

[00:21:45] Speaker 2: I don't remember the comments. And I didn't remember the laundry [00:21:50] until you told me, but now I think back, I have pictures of like Will as a baby, like propped up on the couch with laundry next to next to her.

[00:21:59] Speaker 2: [00:22:00] So, you know, 

[00:22:00] Speaker: well you probably didn't hear him 'cause you were, you were, you were buzzing into another room or you were buzzing in another area. So I was just there with whoever was [00:22:10] kind of left in the room. So, yeah. And you know, and then of course. Making some observations and then, you know, asking the friend is this, is [00:22:20] this what is going on with Jamie?

[00:22:21] Speaker: I'm like, it's just Jamie. She's just buzzing. She's buzzing around. She's, she's being a, she's, she's a busy, busy bee. Um, and [00:22:30] so, um, and I was like, that's a good thing. 

[00:22:34] Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I think, I think, you know, it's funny because none of us knew we had a DHD at the time and now [00:22:40] piecing together. Oh yeah, I obviously, I had a DHD, and then I start to look at all of my good friends who also, and of you being one of them, and, you know, we talked about, I was out, I was always [00:22:50] very attracted to people and I mean, just as energy level, not as like a, a female, you know, like a romantic attracted, but just like, I just felt more [00:23:00] comfortable with people who, mm-hmm.

[00:23:01] Speaker 2: Who I could just be myself with and who also could match my energy. So, and then, you know, your, your spouse also has a DHD, so that also, you know, you [00:23:10] both have it in different ways and so you're able to sort of forgive each other for it or work, work with each other. Um, but I wanna share a little bit about, you know, being [00:23:20] single, um, and dating a hundred.

[00:23:22] Speaker 2: Because I think I learned a lot. Um, but this is where we are gonna take that pause because, um, we are not [00:23:30] sponsored. This, this content is given out of the love of my heart, um, and my, my desire to impact other people's lives. But I have [00:23:40] treats to pay for, for Benji and um, a roof to keep over my head. And that is done through Silver Linings transitions, uh, my move management and home.

[00:23:49] Speaker 2: [00:23:50] Organizing company that's based in San Diego and in Coachella Valley. Um, we are part of a national organization, um, nasa, that if you want someone to just [00:24:00] make your move easy and you, um, don't wanna lift a finger and you just want someone to come in, pack everything for you, help you figure out what you're gonna take with you and unpack it, put it [00:24:10] away, organize all the logistics, um, we do it here in San Diego, but we can help you find someone in your area.

[00:24:16] Speaker 2: Um, and then the other way that I am keeping the lights on is [00:24:20] through the membership that Lynn and I have, uh, started. You can find out more information about that on Jamie shapiro.me, [00:24:30] J-A-M-I-S-H-A-P-I-R o.me, and you'll look for the Sparkler Society. And then of course I wrote a book because, you know, I am always spinning.

[00:24:37] Speaker 2: So we're gonna take a pause and then I'm gonna tell you [00:24:40] guys why I dated 150 men. So we'll be right back.

[00:24:48] Speaker: All right, Jamie, spill the [00:24:50] beans. Why 150 different dates? 

[00:24:55] Speaker 2: 150 different men. That's right. So let me, let me put it to you this [00:25:00] way and I'll, I'll give you like a, you know, I'll give you an a DH ADHD answer. So I will tell you that, um, I really blossomed in my forties. Um, I did not [00:25:10] have the same confidence in my twenties that I, that I had.

[00:25:13] Speaker 2: Um, and I will tell you that I used to look for the butterflies, and so I [00:25:20] would literally meet somebody and decide within. As soon as I saw him, whether or not he had any chance of being, um, anyone [00:25:30] that I would want to date. In fact, I even had a date at one point, Lynn, where I said to the guy, let's meet in the lobby and if we're not attracted to each other, let's just go on our [00:25:40] way.

[00:25:40] Speaker 2: Like I was so abrupt and uhhuh. I will tell you that at one point I was getting so frustrated and I don't like, [00:25:50] I do not like online dating. Um, and I really, I like to tell people that when you date, um, you need to date with the energy level that you [00:26:00] need to. So if you are feeling negative about it, that is what you're going to attract.

[00:26:04] Speaker 2: And if you are feeling negative about yourself or you have drama in your life, that is what you're going to attract. [00:26:10] So I was getting to the point that I was super negative. Well, I, again, before I knew I had a DHD, um, I recognized that I was motivated by gold stars. And so, [00:26:20] like in yoga for instance, I won the yoga challenge at my studio because every time I went to the studio I got a gold star.

[00:26:27] Speaker 2: And so I created something called [00:26:30] 51st Dates, um, and I got a bunch of other single parents that I knew to join me in a Facebook group. You could still find it out there. I just don't moderate it. Called 51st dates, and basically [00:26:40] it was, I, I don't want to go on 51st on 51st dates, but I'm not going to allow myself to quit unless I have actually done this.

[00:26:48] Speaker 2: So that was my A [00:26:50] DHD working for me, even though I didn't know that I had it. Um, I did, I, I did chase the excitement. Um, and then I did start to do, I read a [00:27:00] really good book called If the Buddha Dated, and what it basically said was, you know that not every, every date needed to be a romantic connection.

[00:27:08] Speaker 2: Some could be a friendship, [00:27:10] some could be, you know, they might be a business connection, but maybe it was something you were supposed to learn from somebody. So rather than, um, can I see myself kissing this person, you [00:27:20] know. How are they gonna contribute to my life, or how might I contribute to their life?

[00:27:25] Speaker 2: So I think that was probably one of the biggest dating impacts that I had. [00:27:30] And then I joined a group called, um, your last first date with a woman named Sandy Wiener. Um, and that was for women 40 and over who were [00:27:40] dating, um, and really needed encouragement and it was a very positive site. And you can actually hear an interview podcast with me where I, I don't remember which episode it [00:27:50] was, but I was, before I met my fiance, it was February of 2020 and, um, we met during lockdown July of 2020.

[00:27:57] Speaker 2: Um, but I was just turning 50 [00:28:00] years old and I got to be coached on, on. Air with her. And um, and she basically told me that I needed to take it down a notch and that I needed to be Jamie [00:28:10] Light. Um, because I am very intense, and I will say that I felt a lot of guilt because I did run a company, I had three children at home, so if I was stepping [00:28:20] out to date, I didn't wanna waste my time.

[00:28:22] Speaker 2: And so I would ask those like filtering questions. So there was no playfulness, right? I was just like, right, 

[00:28:28] Speaker: right. 

[00:28:29] Speaker 2: You know, direct, [00:28:30] direct, direct. You know, here's my checklist. You know, do you fit it? If not, then I'm not even gonna give you my time. So I, I will say that as much as [00:28:40] this community and being a HG is about like being exactly who you are.

[00:28:44] Speaker 2: When it comes to dating, um, I, I would agree that we do need to soften and, and [00:28:50] then ultimately what ended up happening and how I met my fiance, Brian, is that during COVID, um, I had to slow down, which, you know, all of a sudden [00:29:00] I couldn't go, go, go, go, go, and I, I had to like, look at myself and say, I am the common denominator in all of these relationships that haven't worked out.

[00:29:09] Speaker 2: And I [00:29:10] realized. I was emotionally unavailable, and so I hired a dating coach. So, um, I now work, by the way, as an A DHD coach, because [00:29:20] sometimes you can't see what's right in front of you because you're too close to it. Yeah. Um, but I also think when you hire a dating coach or an A DHD coach or a, or a, [00:29:30] a personal trainer, you're saying to the universe.

[00:29:33] Speaker 2: I want better. And so, um, I hired a dating coach and she looked at my [00:29:40] profile and then she was looking at every single, um, text message that I was exchanging. And she's like, you've got to soften. She [00:29:50] rewrote my profile and she told me to take it down a notch. And, and I did. I took it down a notch. But fortunately I met someone who, um, [00:30:00] is incredibly patient with me and is very accepting, and I was more abrupt probably than other people, but less abrupt than I had [00:30:10] been.

[00:30:10] Speaker 2: Um, and so we had that space to build a relationship and then. Within the relationship. Um, you know, I'm recognizing that I can't [00:30:20] always go, go, go, go, go or expect my partner to go, go, go, go, go. I wanna also share something. One of the things that stuck out for me, so I was, um, I was diagnosed with a [00:30:30] DHD when my child was diagnosed with A DHD.

[00:30:32] Speaker 2: And as I've shared in other podcasts, I'm like, I'm 45 years old. I've graduated college with high honors. [00:30:40] I, you know, I started a business, so what I have a DHD and I did not pay any attention to it. Um, and it wasn't, I didn't really start paying attention to it until I realized that my mom had it a little over two [00:30:50] years ago.

[00:30:50] Speaker 2: And then I became an A DHD coach, wrote a book and really jumped into the world of A DHD. So if you had talked to me four or five years ago, me having a DHD would not have had any [00:31:00] significance. But I remember seeing on someone's profile, I don't date people with a DHD. And I was 

[00:31:07] Speaker: like, what? Really? 

[00:31:08] Speaker 2: Yes. So [00:31:10] like, so there are people who are like, you know, but I, I do think, you know, and I've seen a DHD and successful relationships where we bring the excitement and, but, [00:31:20] but I will say that there are parts, and my cousin, by the way, I interviewed my cousin, who is a PhD family therapist, and she has a DHD.

[00:31:28] Speaker 2: We talked about the impact of A [00:31:30] DHD on a marriage and you know, what you can do to more successfully be in a relationship. And I will say that I'm doing that, uh, in my partnership with Brian, but even more [00:31:40] so, um, is, and you can attest to this, Brian and I were together for more than two years before I was introduced to his [00:31:50] daughter as his girlfriend.

[00:31:52] Speaker 2: Do you remember this? 

[00:31:53] Speaker: Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. 

[00:31:55] Speaker 2: This guy put me through the ringer. Like, [00:32:00] but, but, and so I've never been patient. I'm like, this is what I want. This is when I want it. But I had dated 150 men and I knew that this was a quality man, [00:32:10] and I knew that if I sent him back into the wild and I went back out and started to date again, that I was just gonna be looking for someone like him.

[00:32:19] Speaker 2: And [00:32:20] so I'm like, I'm gonna do something different this time. And the other thing that I wanna say that I did, 'cause I talked about those butterflies, is I decided that I wanted to try dating somebody. [00:32:30] Um, where I felt calm in my body and that I didn't have that anxiety. And in the beginning when I started dating him, it was sort of just like, I'm just gonna try something different.

[00:32:38] Speaker 2: I'm just gonna [00:32:40] do something that I haven't done because what I've done hasn't worked. And so Brian created calm for me and, um, and even my kids will be like, mom, aren't you bored? I think [00:32:50] Lynn, you even asked me at one point, are you gonna be okay with the nice guy? Remember? 

[00:32:54] Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, which was, which was also said about my husband too.[00:33:00] 

[00:33:00] Speaker 2: And it's like, you know what? I have so many areas of my life that are crazy. I just need calm in my home. Right. And so it's [00:33:10] really, and so a lot of times people with a DH, adhd, we will go out and we will create drama. We will look to like, because we can't just be okay with things being the way they are.

[00:33:19] Speaker 2: And what [00:33:20] I decided is drama in my home is one area that I don't want drama. Like I, I just need it to be calm. And so, so in initially, I [00:33:30] didn't know that I would be able to be with the nice guy, and I used to envy all of my friends who could be with the nice guy. I'm like, I wish I could be attracted to the nice guy.

[00:33:37] Speaker 2: But no. And I will say, [00:33:40] you know, and truthfully the criteria that I learned from Sandy Wiener's Group in dating, which, which is the word I started to apply as I got better at it was, um, can I be [00:33:50] myself with this person? On a scale of one to 10 in attractiveness, are they at least a four? Because if, if they're below a four, you know, that's just [00:34:00] not gonna work.

[00:34:01] Speaker 2: And by the way, attraction grows. And would I be willing to kiss this person? That was it. And so that criteria [00:34:10] took me from the butterflies and the instant attraction to, huh. And so I did. I did something different and I, and I wanted to share this episode [00:34:20] because I know that there are a lot of people out there who just think, they just can't seem to find it.

[00:34:25] Speaker 2: And I think it's because they need to reframe that [00:34:30] excitement and that. The butterflies and they need to look for a calm partner who they can trust, especially as we're rounding the second half of our life, [00:34:40] like who's gonna be there for us, you know, when we're aging and when we have the issues that come up and our bodies start to go down and, you know, so [00:34:50] anyway, that's a full Well, 

[00:34:52] Speaker: no, no, I mean, I, I, I, I love that.

[00:34:55] Speaker: I mean, I think, I think. A couple things in there. I mean, [00:35:00] you, you did what an A DHD person should do. You've got like this accountability, you've got this like one-on-one sort of coaching, so you could get [00:35:10] that feedback and then you, you applied the feedback and actually followed through with it, which you know, sometimes.

[00:35:16] Speaker: We start things and stop things, but you actually, [00:35:20] now, the, the fast 50 dates you, you went through it and you've got all your gold stars. But again, that, that's an example of almost you [00:35:30] forcing yourself into like a structured thing without all the right. Tools that you got with the [00:35:40] coaching and then afterwards, uh, you know, realizing that that wasn't the way and then getting the coaching and then going the other way.

[00:35:47] Speaker: I, I agree that, you know, [00:35:50] um, having a calm home, which is interesting because, you know, after you become empty nesters at some point, especially I think for, for A [00:36:00] DHD people. Just in your relationship when there are no kids and chaos around, you do have that moment where you're with, with, you're with your spouse, [00:36:10] or you're just at, you're just at home and you're almost like, I mean, for me it was almost like, oh, this is too quiet.

[00:36:17] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. 

[00:36:17] Speaker: Right. This is too quiet. Mm-hmm. [00:36:20] But you're right. If you're with the right person that is, you know, that will let you go A DH, D, all your other things, but not have to do [00:36:30] that in the relationship, then it's a better calming balance. Mm-hmm. And so I could see that when, when I'm at your house now, I was just there.

[00:36:39] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. [00:36:40] 

[00:36:40] Speaker: At your house. 

[00:36:41] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. 

[00:36:41] Speaker: And, um. There wasn't any laundry on the couch. Because I think, I think, I think you found the partner that's like, [00:36:50] that's not her thing. No, 

[00:36:52] Speaker 2: no, no, no, no. You're so wrong, Lynn, I, the laundry in the house, I. I [00:37:00] am responsible for laundry. So they will hear me talk about how sometimes I will leave it in there, um, by accident.

[00:37:05] Speaker 2: But now if, if I'm, and one of the things I, I heard on someone else's podcast, but [00:37:10] I do it, I just hadn't articulated it, is I know I'm gonna forget. Like there is no, let's rely on my memory. So like I step out of the laundry room after I've just put a load in the washing [00:37:20] machine. I set my timer. Now I don't need to do that, or, or I move a laundry basket more often.

[00:37:26] Speaker 2: I'll move the laundry basket to the middle of the stairs, like, so I ha I see it [00:37:30] and then I take it upstairs. So, because all of the bedrooms are upstairs and so it does not ever get done on the couch. Um, but I don't do. Any cooking and I do [00:37:40] very little grocery shopping. 

[00:37:42] Speaker: Oh, that's so nice. 

[00:37:42] Speaker 2: I hate to cook.

[00:37:43] Speaker 2: So 

[00:37:44] Speaker: I think I, that I would, I would, I would prefer doing the laundry over, uh, [00:37:50] cooking as well. I'm with you on that. But you know, when I was there, I didn't see you do any laundry, but of course I did see that there was no laundry on the couch. So that's interesting that you [00:38:00] put some, some unique steps in place.

[00:38:03] Speaker: Now, now you still have. Some kids coming and going out of your house, so you still have some of that [00:38:10] energy, but not as much. 

[00:38:11] Speaker 2: I don't, because I have a 17-year-old who wants like nothing to do with me. Although every once in a while now she'll come to me and she'll hug me and she talks to me a little [00:38:20] bit.

[00:38:20] Speaker 2: But I don't have to do anything for her anymore. I don't do her laundry. I don't take her to school. I don't check her homework. Right? Like. And so I do have [00:38:30] my stepdaughter, um, who I have some responsibility for, but generally, you know, she is, she's not mine. And so more, I'm more like hands when I have them available, [00:38:40] but she is not my primary responsibility.

[00:38:42] Speaker 2: So in fairness, I'm not juggling life with a baby. And, you know, and, and that is harder to find the time when you're always holding onto a child. But [00:38:50] I will say, I think I'm winning when it comes to which. Which task? Um, cooking or laundry because I can stick on a podcast and, you know, I love to listen to podcasts or [00:39:00] books.

[00:39:00] Speaker 2: I love Libby. Um, and so I can actually be entertained 'cause I can't do anything without something else going on. 

[00:39:07] Speaker: Right, right. Yeah, that's a, that's another one of [00:39:10] those common things like music always playing or, or podcasts, always playing or, um, just a, another, another. 

[00:39:18] Speaker 2: Another stimulation. [00:39:20] 

[00:39:20] Speaker: Yeah, another stimulation coming in.

[00:39:22] Speaker: So I mean, you. I'm glad you came to the realization. Of course, I love Brian, so I'm glad you came to the realization that, uh, [00:39:30] if you'd have thrown him back out there, um, somebody might've, might've picked up that fish. So 

[00:39:37] Speaker 2: he, he is, he is a good, good man. [00:39:40] And by the way, for those of you who're listening, I am a cougar.

[00:39:43] Speaker 2: He is nine years younger than I am, which I also say. Probably 'cause of my A DHD if he [00:39:50] was my age. I don't know if it would work as well, if I'm being honest. Um, because I think men my age would have a hard time keeping up with me. Um, but you know, as we were [00:40:00] talking about this, Lynn, of course, it reminded me so much of how we've set up this sparkler society because.

[00:40:07] Speaker 2: We're building this community based on what I've already [00:40:10] tried and hasn't worked. And by the way, trying all of those things without knowing that I had a DHD. So now that we're building an intentional community with the [00:40:20] understanding, I, I, I mean, I am beyond. I know you are too. We're so excited. We're gonna be, um, launching, if you're listening to this, uh, I think this podcast is gonna go out, um, [00:40:30] before the end of January.

[00:40:31] Speaker 2: We are going to, um, launch our very, very first, um. Groups in, in February, the membership is gonna open. [00:40:40] Um, and we're gonna onboard everybody. But what we're doing, 'cause we know that we're not gonna be button tight and ready to go with everything in the place we want it to be in [00:40:50] February. We're gonna kind of be building it as we go, tweaking it around.

[00:40:53] Speaker 2: But we're gonna award the people who joined before January 31st with that confidence that they had in us [00:41:00] to just say, Hey. We are gonna rise these prices at some point. 'cause we're, our content is not only valuable, but we're gonna help people save money, understand themselves better. Um, [00:41:10] so because you bought in early and you trusted us, you're gonna lock in the rate.

[00:41:15] Speaker 2: Um, and that's even gonna be with the, I'm, I'm offering a few limited sessions [00:41:20] where it, not only do they get the membership, but they also get. One-on-one coaching, and I only have so many hours in the day. Um, so, you know, although you're gonna get [00:41:30] something from the beginning, you're not gonna get everything that you're going to as we build this community.

[00:41:33] Speaker 2: But, but as I said, based and I had not even put those two together. That's what I love about that. A DHD brain. It's like we're constantly making [00:41:40] connections and I see all of the ways that I took that dating journey and have put it into, um, our membership for Sparkler Society. 

[00:41:49] Speaker: [00:41:50] And we, you know, just, just like how you grew.

[00:41:53] Speaker: We're gonna grow with feedback. We're gonna grow with, you know, um, the, the idea, uh, [00:42:00] to me, the one of course the worry, the worry area. Um, I, I feel like from a, uh. From my side of the business, which is, you [00:42:10] know, supporting that, uh, technology that we can, we can turn that into some, some other things, some other tools, um, things that you can just, if you're in the middle of the [00:42:20] night and you log on, I think you're gonna find there's gonna be somebody out there, um, who's, who's ready and, and willing to listen to your worry and put it out there, and then go back [00:42:30] to sleep.

[00:42:30] Speaker: So, so I'm really excited about that. Um, also excited about, um, the, the craft swap and, and just all of the savings. In [00:42:40] fact, I've, I'm, I'm ready to go with all of the things, all of my projects that are still in their wrappers. I am ready to go ahead and, and put that [00:42:50] out there for anyone else who is interested in, in an unpainted birdhouse that has the paint and the paint brushes and the birdhouse, but just has never started.[00:43:00] 

[00:43:00] Speaker: That's me. I have tons of those. 

[00:43:03] Speaker 2: I have stationery and bossing. Like how you blow it warm and then it creates this raised, it's beautiful. I [00:43:10] may wait until after my wedding, you know, I probably will 'cause I'll probably wanna do something with that. But I definitely have, uh, some crafts that I can definitely all my old, um, [00:43:20] scrapbooking stuff, creative memories.

[00:43:21] Speaker 2: Um, but yeah, this is gonna change life and I think again. We're, we are hitting a group of people. In fact, just yesterday at [00:43:30] yoga, I, I am gonna give one more anecdote and then I'll go the, the yoga instructor was saying, um, she was sharing as, as a lot of yoga instructors will, that, that she still [00:43:40] struggles with that imposter syndrome.

[00:43:41] Speaker 2: And she's like, even though I'm in my fifties, you know, I still struggle with, you know, wanting to make sure that. That I'm approved of and blah, blah, blah. And then at [00:43:50] the end of the class she says, we're running late. I, you know, that's one of those things I have to work on. So of course I go up to her at the end of the class and I'm like, are you really in your [00:44:00] fifties?

[00:44:00] Speaker 2: 'cause she looked amazing. And you, from hearing her voice, it sounded so young. And, and she was in her fifties and she's like, yeah, I have a, a 30 something year old son. And I said, I have to ask you, what do you [00:44:10] think I asked her, Lynn? 

[00:44:11] Speaker: Oh, you asked her if she had a DHD? 

[00:44:15] Speaker 2: Yes, I did. Yes I did. Yes. Yes. What do you think she said about her 3-year-old [00:44:20] son?

[00:44:21] Speaker: Oh, that he has it, for sure. Yeah. 

[00:44:23] Speaker 2: So she had never, 

[00:44:24] Speaker: yeah, and that was the first time she, she realized she had the same thing. 

[00:44:28] Speaker 2: She never considered it. [00:44:30] 

[00:44:30] Speaker: So 

[00:44:30] Speaker 2: I brought it up to her. In fact, I did a video. I recorded a video, but I have a, I have a, 'cause that's my technology. It's like, how do I go from, I just shared this, what just happened to getting it there?

[00:44:39] Speaker 2: But [00:44:40] that's a side conversation. But she's like, oh my gosh, I wanna have coffee with you because it, and I said, you know, 80% of people who have it don't realize it. [00:44:50] And by the way, she also was the owner of that yoga studio, which also goes in line with being an entrepreneur. So, yeah. Um, anyway, I can't wait.

[00:44:58] Speaker 2: I cannot [00:45:00] wait for this. Um, and for those of you who think, I mean, when, when you meet people with A DHD who decide that they're gonna do something and they stick to it for more than two weeks. [00:45:10] You know, there's a thing, 

[00:45:13] Speaker: well, you know, there's a passion, you know, that we're gonna give it 150% and the energy's gonna be [00:45:20] there and mm-hmm.

[00:45:21] Speaker: You know, and if you wanna be a part of a community where we match your energy, then we we're it. Yeah, I'm, I'm saying we're, [00:45:30] it, I'm very, I'm, you know, I'm very excited. In fact, I was, I almost texted you at like two in the morning. 'cause I was, I was working on, on, on the [00:45:40] platform and, you know, the various aspects of the platform, um, in the middle of the night.

[00:45:45] Speaker: And then I was like, oh, she's probably not, not awake, but. I don't know. Maybe you were, [00:45:50] but that's how it's driven. 

[00:45:52] Speaker 2: One more fun fact that we have got to end this, that I found out that there is a time that's a natural rhythm for people with a DHD to wake up and, [00:46:00] um, like our brains just kind of pop back up and I don't know if it has, is to do with circadian rhythms or what.

[00:46:05] Speaker 2: I'm sure that's gonna be one of the many things that we explore. 'cause we're gonna bring in experts on [00:46:10] sleep. We're gonna bring in experts on all sorts of things that nutrition. Anything that you know might be helpful for people with A DHD. And you did say something about matching our energy and I [00:46:20] wanna say we both have a lot more energy than most people even.

[00:46:25] Speaker 2: In people with a DHD 'cause not everybody has that hyperactive body. Sometimes we just [00:46:30] have that brain that just doesn't slow down. So just know that even if you don't have the, you know, the buzzing bee energy that I have, we are gonna be able to match the, the, the [00:46:40] brain that's just constantly ruminating and catastrophizing and, you know, anyway.

[00:46:44] Speaker 2: So, or the impulsive spending, or the impulsive. I've gotta get this out, but this was a really fun [00:46:50] episode. I appreciate you. Um. You interviewing me because it is, um, it is. I, I hate talking to my, I like talking, but I hate talking to myself, so. 

[00:46:59] Speaker: [00:47:00] Wow. And I, I love the story. So I, I love the story and the evolution of the dating and, um, and you didn't even mention that you were [00:47:10] on national TV talking about dating because you were selected for, what was it?

[00:47:16] Speaker: Good Morning America. 

[00:47:17] Speaker 2: Was, um, no, it was CBS this [00:47:20] morning. And yes, that's, so I was started to blog during, um, COVID, uh, about, about everything because I, again, I could, was doing nothing. And I did an [00:47:30] episode on, on why I thought that COVID was gonna be a great time to online date and a producer of CBS this morning saw my blog and I was on [00:47:40] national television.

[00:47:40] Speaker 2: So maybe we'll have a link to that, um, in this. So that people can, if, if you gives you incentive to watch it on YouTube. But, um, so anyway, as, as [00:47:50] you all know or if, if you're new to this episode, 'cause I suspect this is gonna draw some people who have never listened to the episode because of the topic.

[00:47:57] Speaker 2: 'cause I think there are a lot of people who really wanna find [00:48:00] love and I certainly am, um, the poster child for, you know, staying added. And, and, and if. What you're doing isn't working, then, um, there's an expression. If you always [00:48:10] do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten. Um, and so sometimes we need to iterate.

[00:48:15] Speaker 2: And I definitely think my dating journey is, is the story of iteration and growing [00:48:20] and, um, and really working with my A DHD and not against it. Um, so thank you all for listening. Thank you Lynn for coming in and, uh, interviewing and [00:48:30] co-hosting with me. And, uh, I always like to end the episode with, you know.

[00:48:35] Speaker 2: There is never a point in our lives where we can't grow or make our lives better. [00:48:40] And, and this, and understanding A DHD really is all about making the rest of your life the best of your life. Thanks so much for listening. 

[00:48:49] I.