Episode 77 - It Wasn't Just Aging: Late-Diagnosed ADHD and the Life That Finally Makes Sense

Thriving with ADHD at Every Stage of Life with Jennifer Lorenz

In this insightful and validating episode, Jami welcomes certified ADHD and executive function coach Jennifer Lorenz. With over 25 years of experience mentoring professionals and extensive training in ADHD coaching, emotional intelligence, and CliftonStrengths, Jennifer brings both professional expertise and personal lived experience to the conversation.

Together, they explore what it really means to live, work, parent, and age with ADHD—and how understanding executive function can transform shame into empowerment.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why ADHD is not about “fixing what’s broken,” but leveraging your natural strengths
• How executive function impacts organization, planning, memory, and daily life
• The unique challenges ADHD presents during life transitions, especially retirement
• Why structure plays a critical role—and what happens when it disappears
• How ADHD often runs in families and can be diagnosed later in life
• The hidden shame many ADHD adults carry—and how to release it
• Why focusing on strengths creates more success than trying to “fix weaknesses”

Jennifer’s Story: Late Diagnosis and Finding Her Calling
Jennifer’s journey began when her sons were diagnosed with ADHD. Through learning about their experiences, she recognized similar patterns in herself and pursued her own diagnosis as an adult.

Her personal experience—combined with professional coaching training—led her to specialize in helping others navigate executive function challenges, productivity, life transitions, and ADHD across the lifespan.

She now helps clients build systems that work with their brain—not against it.

Key Topic: What Is Executive Function?
Executive function refers to the brain’s management system—the skills that help us:

• Plan and prioritize
• Stay organized
• Manage time
• Regulate emotions
• Follow through on tasks
• Remember important information

For people with ADHD, these skills may develop differently or require additional support systems and strategies.

Jennifer explains that executive function challenges often become more noticeable during transitions—such as retirement—when external structure disappears.

ADHD, Aging, and Retirement
One of the most important insights Jennifer shares is how ADHD affects adults later in life.

Many adults rely on workplace structure to function successfully. When retirement removes that structure, challenges with planning, organization, and motivation can suddenly intensify.

This is why understanding ADHD and executive function is essential—not just for children, but across the entire lifespan.

The Truth About ADHD: Strengths and Challenges
Jennifer shares a powerful perspective:

ADHD is not a flaw—it’s a different brain wiring.

While ADHD can create challenges in daily life, it also brings strengths such as:

• Creativity
• Pattern recognition
• Innovation
• Hyperfocus
• Emotional insight
• Big-picture thinking

Learning to build systems around challenges while leveraging strengths is key to thriving.

The Button Question: Would Jennifer Remove Her ADHD?
Jennifer’s answer is thoughtful and honest: she would not remove her ADHD.

While ADHD brings real challenges, it has also shaped her strengths, career, and ability to help others. It is an essential part of who she is.

Who Jennifer Helps

Jennifer works with:

• Adults with ADHD
• Professionals struggling with organization and productivity
• Adults navigating retirement or life transitions
• Parents and families managing ADHD
• Anyone experiencing executive f

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Grandma Has ADHD! We hope Jami's journey and insights into ADHD shed light on the unique challenges faced by older adults. Stay tuned for more episodes where we’ll explore helpful resources, share personal stories, and provide guidance for those navigating ADHD. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends who might benefit. Remember, Make the rest of your life the best of your life.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker: Okay. Today we're welcoming a coach who spent over 25 [00:00:10] years helping high performing adults thrive in our over-scheduled overstimulated world. Our guest is a PCC certified coach with [00:00:20] specialized training in A DHD and executive function cliffs. Clifton strengths, emotional intelligence, and even Rie [00:00:30] retirement transitions, because let's face it, navigating life after 50 re needs its own.

[00:00:36] Speaker: I have to start this. I, I go, I go too much. Normally I'll just go with [00:00:40] it, but there are too many, I'm wearing contact lenses. Okay. Um, we're gonna. So I don't read as well. 

[00:00:45] Speaker 2: Same is pronounced a little differently. 

[00:00:46] Speaker: We're welcoming a coach who spent over 25 [00:00:50] years helping high performing adults thrive in our overscheduled overstimulated world.

[00:00:55] Speaker: Our guest is a PCC certified coach with specialized training in A [00:01:00] DHD and executive function. Clifton strengths, emotional intelligence, and even retirement transitions because let's face it, [00:01:10] navigating life after 50 needs its own toolkit. Here's what makes her approach so refreshing. She doesn't believe in fixing what's [00:01:20] broken.

[00:01:20] Speaker: Instead, she works with clients across the lifespan. Whether they have a DHD or are just drowning in too many demands and priorities to leverage [00:01:30] their strengths from productivity optimization, to managing work life balance, to tackling personal challenges, she helps people build lives that actually [00:01:40] bring them joy, not just check off box.

[00:01:43] Speaker: If you are tired of feeling like you're constantly behind and ready to discover what you've natural, what you're naturally [00:01:50] great at this conversation is for you. Please welcome to the grandma has a DHD podcast, Jennifer Lorenz. Woo. Hi. [00:02:00] Welcome. 

[00:02:00] Speaker 2: Hi, Jamie. Welcome. Thank you. I'm really excited to be here.

[00:02:03] Speaker 2: Thanks. 

[00:02:04] Speaker: I love having you, and as I share in my podcast, I, I don't do a [00:02:10] lot of pre-interviews. Mm-hmm. Uh, I just wanna get the pronunciation of the name so I don't really know much more about you other than your bio, which is quite impressive. So I cannot wait [00:02:20] to dive into this because. This is probably one of those subjects that I will benefit from.

[00:02:25] Speaker 2: Happy to. Yeah. Um, so as I, as it says in there, I've been a working professional [00:02:30] in the, you know, working world for, you know, only, only 10 or five minutes, you know, about 25 years. Um, and through that time I've mentored a lot of [00:02:40] people. And just in the last few years, having gotten my coaching certification and then specifically working on a DHD coaching, I just see, um.

[00:02:49] Speaker 2: Additional [00:02:50] challenges that those of us with A DHD have in the working world. Um, just trying to deal with the structure and all of the things that we have to deal with. So just to kind of give you a rough background, [00:03:00] um, in addition to my corporate world experience, um, I am a. A certified coach. So I got my basic coach training, I like to call it at ipec, [00:03:10] um, the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching.

[00:03:12] Speaker 2: Uh, I got that as my baseline certification. And then I also, um, obtained my certification as a Gallup Clifton [00:03:20] strengths coach, which is a huge component of the way that I approach coaching. Um, one of the reasons that I loved Gallup and Clifton strengths so much is that it's a positive. Space. [00:03:30] So they look at the world saying, you have all of these strengths.

[00:03:33] Speaker 2: Let's focus on that and minimize and get help with and do the other things we need to do for those things that we're just not as [00:03:40] strong in. And it's really about doubling down on those things that you're really naturally good at. So that is a huge component of the way that I coach generally speaking and.

[00:03:48] Speaker 2: My general approach to [00:03:50] life. Uh, and then in addition to that, I also have my certification in the emotional intelligence assessment. And then the big one, uh, that's most relevant for us today is I [00:04:00] spent a year at aca like you, the a DD Coach Academy, um, doing the, the basic training and then also get going on to spend.

[00:04:07] Speaker 2: Seven months in their family's certification. [00:04:10] So that was some, some intensive training on executive function and helping kids, in particular, kids and families and parents and all of the extra challenges that come with [00:04:20] being a parent of A DHD kids. Being an A DHD kid, working and living in this society and this highly structured very, um, what I might call a [00:04:30] rigid area.

[00:04:30] Speaker 2: Um. In school, they, they have the, the rigid rules of you must do this at this time, and that can be challenging mm-hmm. For a DHD kids. So that's where [00:04:40] I come from and that's my training and my background. 

[00:04:42] Speaker: Wow. Okay. So I wanna hear your personal story before we get into 

[00:04:46] Speaker 2: Sure. 

[00:04:46] Speaker: You know, I, I like the fun part, I like the stories.

[00:04:49] Speaker: I wanna [00:04:50] understand and get to know you. 

[00:04:52] Speaker 2: Thanks. Uh, so yeah, my story is, is a late diagnosed adult actually. Um, and what I have seen happen [00:05:00] many times with the families that I work with. Is is a very common family situation where a child in the family gets diagnosed and that, in that case it was, I have two sons.

[00:05:09] Speaker 2: My [00:05:10] oldest is, is now 17, my youngest is 14, and my oldest, I suspected had a D, H, D and I at the time, I knew nothing about it other [00:05:20] than like this thing A DHD exists. And that's about all I knew. Um. And so when my son was diagnosed just after second grade, then I started to try to learn [00:05:30] everything I could learn.

[00:05:31] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:05:31] Speaker 2: Now he is a combined type, so he has, um, he, all four of us in our family end up, here's the spoiler alert. All four of us [00:05:40] ended up being diagnosed and. Um, he is combined type, but he presents kind of as that typical hyperactive little boy, which made it easier to spot. 

[00:05:47] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:05:48] Speaker 2: And so I did all this [00:05:50] research and, and learned everything I could learn about that type of presentation for A DHD.

[00:05:55] Speaker 2: And then my second son comes along and has a totally different. [00:06:00] Presentation. 

[00:06:00] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:06:01] Speaker 2: And it was only in, uh, it was picked up because of our pediatrician who was amazing. Mm-hmm. And mentioned, you know, she said, oh, he sounds so much [00:06:10] like my younger son. And I was thinking, wait, what? Really? And I was like, well, how do you.

[00:06:14] Speaker 2: How do you think he would have a DHD? It's not what it looks like at all. And 

[00:06:18] Speaker: mm-hmm 

[00:06:18] Speaker 2: And so she educated me, [00:06:20] thankfully. And then we ended up going ahead and getting him tested. And it turns out he is also combined type, but he presents as that inattentive type. And as I was learning [00:06:30] all of the things about what that looks like, I started to see, hmm.

[00:06:34] Speaker 2: That looks a little familiar. A little pot color, the kettle black on that one. Um, and so then I pursued [00:06:40] my own diagnosis and I too have com combined type and present as inattentive. Um, so that's kind of the journey and how I got more and more educated. [00:06:50] Um, and then what we found with my older son in particular, we had a lot of challenges with the school system.

[00:06:56] Speaker 2: Um, he was. In an elementary school that just [00:07:00] really, you know, I heard things like a DHD is in your mind, it's all made up. Mm-hmm. It's not a thing. 

[00:07:05] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:07:05] Speaker 2: You're making excuses, you know, all of that. Mm-hmm. Just for [00:07:10] years we heard that. So it was necessary for us as advocates to become as educated as we could.

[00:07:16] Speaker 2: Um. That's how, that's how I started on the journey. I [00:07:20] ended up also having a great experience, totally separate from that, a great experience with a coach. I was like, wow, this coaching thing's really great. And so I, uh, pursued that. [00:07:30] And in the process of pursuing that, I found out, oh, they can have a DHD coaches.

[00:07:33] Speaker 2: And I thought, well, that. Just the perfect fit. 

[00:07:35] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:07:36] Speaker 2: And so that's how I got here. And why in particular, families was [00:07:40] really important to me because I really wanted to, I'm kind of that, that, um, geeky nerd researcher who really likes to understand the science behind everything. So that's why [00:07:50] I go after the executive function and my bookshelves might be a little overflowing.

[00:07:54] Speaker: Yeah, we do tend to have that. That area that is of the most interest to us. So tell me [00:08:00] a little bit, by the way, I am also combined type and I have a funny, a funny story. So I also was diagnosed alongside of my oldest child, who's now 24. [00:08:10] And when, uh, they insisted on being evaluated, I was like, you don't have a DHD, you've been reading since you were three because my half brother was hyperactive and had to be on Ritalin.[00:08:20] 

[00:08:20] Speaker: And that was the A DHD story. And, um, and then, so of course I'm answering the, the questions with the psychiatrist and I'm like, I'm answering more yeses for me. So my child is in [00:08:30] attentive, I'm hyperactive. I have a mom that's inattentive. That's how I got into all of this because, um, when I realized that she lived 77 years and no one had caught it, uh, [00:08:40] then we needed to really address that.

[00:08:41] Speaker: But my father is hyperactive, so I have both parents as well. 

[00:08:46] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:46] Speaker: But my 17-year-old, I was in the middle of [00:08:50] ACA coach training. When my child's therapist evaluated her for A DHD and she was 16, and [00:09:00] I, I thought she had it when she was younger, and then she stormed of just like performing really well and she definitely wasn't the way that my oldest child was.

[00:09:08] Speaker: And so I didn't really [00:09:10] pay attention. And then I'm, and then so I'm in the middle of ACA coach training and my child is diagnosed. Yeah, you're right. It looks so different and yeah. That's one of the [00:09:20] reasons that I wanted to do this podcast is that it doesn't look the same. It doesn't affect us all in the same way, but executive functioning, which I would love for you to share what [00:09:30] that is because so many people don't understand what it is such a big word, and how, and that shapes our A DHD experience.

[00:09:37] Speaker: But I also want you to give us the story. So, [00:09:40] so go ahead and tell me a little bit about Little Jennifer. 

[00:09:42] Speaker 2: Oh wow. So little Jennifer. She was that, um, very people pleasing. Good girl. [00:09:50] You know, um, total opposite of what you would expect. You know, when you hear that very stereotypical, hyperactive little boy.

[00:09:58] Speaker 2: Uh, story, which is what, [00:10:00] only what A DHD can look like. As, as we were often all taught. I was the total opposite of that. Mm-hmm. Very studious, total nerd from the beginning. Um, I started [00:10:10] reading in first grade and once I learned how to read, I have never put the books down. Um, I will read just about anything and everything.

[00:10:19] Speaker 2: And, and [00:10:20] read all the time. And so, uh, I was got good grades and, and did all those things. I really struggled in math. 

[00:10:29] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:10:29] Speaker 2: [00:10:30] And like chemistry was a real challenge for me when I got into high school. Um, but I really struggled in math and now I see looking back why I struggled so much. And, [00:10:40] and you get this, one of the things that motivates me so much to work, particularly with ADHDers, is we get these negative.[00:10:50] 

[00:10:50] Speaker 2: Comments and these, these just, even when people think they're not being negative, they're just, you know, they sort of slide in there and they're just devastating to our [00:11:00] self-confidence. And I worked so hard in math and I just, it was never one of those things that came easy to me and I just struggled.

[00:11:07] Speaker 2: And when I got into college and I was working [00:11:10] full-time and going to school full-time, I mean, I. Yeah, looking back, I really wish I would've had, I wish I would've known because there's so many things that I work with [00:11:20] my clients now and all of the strategies and, and the ways that we approach things that can be absolute life changers for them, and that that's really what lights me up.

[00:11:29] Speaker 2: So, you know, I guess in [00:11:30] some ways that's, that's every little bit is like healing that little Jennifer in me that's, that that really could have used those strategies. I became hyper organized [00:11:40] and. And, and to this day, I still, I absolutely love planners and, you know, absolutely go, go crazy on, on the planning and being very strategic and stuff.

[00:11:49] Speaker 2: And it [00:11:50] really works for me. Um, and I think that was, that was an outcropping of me just having to adjust and just having to deal with that executive function challenges that I [00:12:00] struggled with and, and had to find a way to function in college and in the working world. Mm-hmm. And now looking back, all of it just makes so much more sense.[00:12:10] 

[00:12:10] Speaker: Right. You know, that was something that I didn't learn, um, early in my A DHD story was the perfectionism and how that can Exactly that is creating those systems [00:12:20] for someone because they recognize that they can't rely on their short-term memory or, you know, some of their executive functioning. So, um, so someone who works as an analyst and does [00:12:30] pattern recognition, how does that play into understanding A DHD in seniors?

[00:12:35] Speaker 2: I think it, it works across the board, whether it's seniors or, or little [00:12:40] kids and, and everyone in between. And that's, I think one of the powers of coaching is when you have somebody who is educated and trained to look for certain things and look for certain [00:12:50] patterns. And then I combine that with the professional training of being able to spot those, you know, patterns across the board.

[00:12:57] Speaker 2: Um, you really can start to see things [00:13:00] popping out where. When you yourself are viewing your own world, you don't see that as easily. And so having somebody stand back and say, well, how often does that sort of thing happen? And [00:13:10] then that question, I've, I've had that question come up a lot in working with clients, how, you know, how often has that happened?

[00:13:16] Speaker 2: And they kind of have this like, oh, I guess that's, that [00:13:20] happens a lot. Or I, I have trouble with that more than I thought I did. You know? So, um. So I'm looking for those kinds of things and I'm paying a really close [00:13:30] attention to those little indicators. And, and like you said, you meet one person with a DHD, you've met one person with A DHD.

[00:13:37] Speaker 2: It shows up so differently in [00:13:40] every one of us. And so the power, I think of an DHD coaches, you can really pay close attention to those things that, that I hear a lot with my clients go, I had [00:13:50] no idea that was part of my A DH adhd. 

[00:13:52] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:13:53] Speaker 2: And I see that. I see that be a really big relief in a lot of cases, and that that's really.[00:14:00] 

[00:14:00] Speaker 2: Great to be part of, to to have them say, oh, that's why I do that. It's not because I'm stupid. It's not because I can't keep up. It's not because any of these things. It's just because that's how my [00:14:10] brain is wired. Mm-hmm. And I think for seniors, I think one of the bigger challenges that I see with, with my retirement coaching A DHD clients is that lack of [00:14:20] structure that is forced upon us in whatever work situation we're in.

[00:14:24] Speaker 2: And then suddenly we're cut loose the next day. All of that is gone. In a lot of [00:14:30] cases, our, our social infrastructure was all at work. 

[00:14:33] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:14:33] Speaker 2: Um, so I mean, you really think about how much of our lives and for how long these decades that, that we're [00:14:40] working until we hit retirement age. So much of your world is structured by work.

[00:14:45] Speaker 2: And so much revolves around like your vacations. I mean, just [00:14:50] everything in life revolves around that schedule. That in many cases is forced upon us, whether it we like it or not. Um, and that becomes a real challenge when people are now all [00:15:00] of a sudden have a day wide open, a week wide open. What am I gonna do for the rest of.

[00:15:04] Speaker 2: The next year and then, and, and so on. So that becomes a big thing. I, 

[00:15:08] Speaker: I have struggled and I didn't, I actually [00:15:10] just saw a meme today because, you know, when you, your interest is a DHD, it seems like everything in your newsfeed is A DHD. And it was two side by side comparisons. It was the [00:15:20] executive, you know, a DHD person who, you know, can go from thing to thing to thing and gets it all done.

[00:15:25] Speaker: And then the next meme is he's got nothing to do. And he is completely overwhelmed because it's [00:15:30] like, how, how, you know, and because we're so used to that. Going, going, going at that high level that we don't. So I, I can't even imagine having an [00:15:40] entire day or a month where I don't have, and, you know, I heard that that was the reason that a lot of people were diagnosed during COVID because all of the sudden, sudden those structures were taken away.[00:15:50] 

[00:15:50] Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely. I've, I've, I've seen the same thing. Um, those, it's amazing what those structures that are put in place. I see it in, in the kids I work with that are going [00:16:00] from into middle school or they're going into high school, or they're going into college when they're transitioning from that. That strong structure, whatever it was they had for so long, particularly [00:16:10] from high school into college.

[00:16:11] Speaker 2: And the same thing. I mean, there are different, there are different concerns and, and there's a whole host of different life challenges that happen, uh, for a [00:16:20] senior who's retiring versus a senior in high school going into college. But at its core, in a lot of ways, it's very similar because they have a structure forced upon them from whatever [00:16:30] outside influence that is.

[00:16:31] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. And now they have a completely different world where. They either, in the case of a, a high school senior going into college has, has [00:16:40] completely different demands on them. And I see this with, with parents a lot where they come to me and with their kids. I'm concerned that I'm their executive function.

[00:16:48] Speaker 2: I hear that a lot. I'm the [00:16:50] one who's providing this, this check. I'm the one who's checking to make sure their homework's on time and all of those things. And, and we adapt that as we're working. We usually have a boss who's very invested [00:17:00] in making sure we get things done on time and then suddenly. You, you know, get your sheet cake and you retire and now no one's checking in on you.

[00:17:07] Speaker 2: And you know, you may or may [00:17:10] not have your social infrastructure that's tied to work or that are still working. You know, especially for those who have been fortunate enough to retire a little bit earlier than, [00:17:20] than most of their social, um, social group. They're suddenly the first ones to go through it, and they have to kind of just figure this out on their own.

[00:17:29] Speaker 2: And that's just [00:17:30] not something we've been conditioned to do. M 

[00:17:32] Speaker: No. Absolutely. So tell me a little bit about executive functioning as it might relate to an older adult [00:17:40] and you know, kind of what, what that looks like when you struggle with executive functioning. 

[00:17:44] Speaker 2: Sure. Yeah. So I'm a big fan, so if you google, you know, executive function or you [00:17:50] ask ai, you'll see dozens and dozens and dozens of different explanations for which, what executive function is.

[00:17:56] Speaker 2: I particularly like the Dawson and g GRE [00:18:00] series, smart, but Scattered. So I use that one as a guide and they list 12 executive skills. Um, and the, the long and short of it is you have the front, front part of your brain. That [00:18:10] is where the second. The, the evolved developed part of your brain. It's where your critical thinking, it's where language sits.

[00:18:16] Speaker 2: Um, it's where all of those higher functions versus [00:18:20] the back part of your brain, which is where you see your emotions are tied to that. It's where your fight or flight, all of that. Biologic that what people call like [00:18:30] the lizard brain or the cave membrane, whatever you wanna call it, um, that part develops first, and then your critical thinking comes along.

[00:18:37] Speaker 2: And, and our brains don't fully develop until [00:18:40] we're at least 25 or so. 

[00:18:42] Speaker: And all 

[00:18:43] Speaker 2: of that. Critical thinking is the last part to develop. And what we see with a ADHDers in particular, we see tend, it [00:18:50] can be up to a 30% developmental delay in those critical thinking executive function skill sets and, and like I said, Dawson, and where they have 12 that they list out [00:19:00] and.

[00:19:00] Speaker 2: Don't quiz me on 'em. 'cause I, I don't think I can list all 12 of 'em. This is something I always tell my clients too. I don't need to know all the things memorized as long as I know where to find it. Or I have [00:19:10] my, my cheat sheets and templates and everything everywhere. Um, but you, the way I, I tend to work with my clients is we go through and we look at the ones and we rank them which ones are the strongest to the [00:19:20] ones that they struggle with the most.

[00:19:21] Speaker 2: And, and when you find a person. Who's retiring, moving into that more, that less structured aspect of their life. That's where things like [00:19:30] organization, prioritizing and planning can be. If they're, if those executive skills are something that they struggle with, those will, you'll see those show up more [00:19:40] because that, that's the structure that is no longer there.

[00:19:42] Speaker 2: That or, you know, I don't have a team meeting at 10 o'clock on Mondays, or I, you know, don't have to have this due by five o'clock on Friday, or, you know, whatever [00:19:50] it is that they've been conditioned and, and. And when you are conditioned, those neuropathways in your brain are, are kind of like the superhighway.

[00:19:57] Speaker 2: They've been so paved and, and [00:20:00] you've used them for so many years that it's just, it's like flying right down versus now you're in a, in a world where. You have to carve these neuropathways out from the [00:20:10] jungle, you know, so you start off with the, the deer trail and then it starts to be a little bit more traveled and, and eventually you get to a point where you now have that, that, uh, [00:20:20] hopefully paved road that you're traveling.

[00:20:22] Speaker 2: But those skills are. Our, our challenge, oftentimes when someone is, when someone is already struggling with those skills, [00:20:30] they can be, something becomes even exacerbated in say, a retirement st stage of life because they just don't have somebody standing over their shoulder [00:20:40] telling them they have to do this at time.

[00:20:41] Speaker 2: I mean, you can even see this to the level of. Of, oh, I don't have to shower today. There's a certain freedom in that, and then it can get to a point where we don't wanna have that [00:20:50] last for too long. Mm-hmm. Um, because that becomes unpleasant to be around, obviously. But, but it can be all of those things.

[00:20:56] Speaker 2: And if you have folks who, you know, working memory [00:21:00] can be a challenge. This is one of mine that I, I struggle with the most is, is working memory. That one. Maize may show up less [00:21:10] in retirement simply because it's not something that is as needed or you've, you know, there's not a whole lot that structure can do for that.

[00:21:18] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. So, at least not the way the work [00:21:20] world is structured. There's a lot that I work with my clients on that and, and all of the, the coping strategies that I put into place just for myself to deal with those working memory challenges. So it kind of [00:21:30] depends. My, my answer really is it depends on which of those executive challenges are bigger for you, uh, or any person when they get into retirement.

[00:21:39] Speaker 2: And [00:21:40] so that is one of the first things that I do with my clients is figure out where those bigger challenges are. 

[00:21:44] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:21:45] Speaker 2: And we start putting those in place. Mm-hmm. Um, depending on, you know, what the goals are [00:21:50] that each client brings to the table. 

[00:21:52] Speaker: I am first of all, really glad that you brought up your own challenges because I think that that's one of the things that I like to highlight.

[00:21:57] Speaker: It's like I own a home organizing [00:22:00] company and we also do, you know, move management specializing in older adults. Um, but that doesn't mean that my house is meticulous and everything is in its place [00:22:10] or that I am perfect. So it's an awareness, but that doesn't mean. The problem is solved. It's, it's, I've got to be continuously working on, you know, [00:22:20] but, but knowing, hey, you're gonna leave your wash in the washing machine if you don't put a visual cue, you know, to move it to the dryer.

[00:22:28] Speaker: So, you know, now I [00:22:30] know to give myself the visual cue. Otherwise, out of sight, out of mind. I've moved on to the next thing. 

[00:22:36] Speaker 2: A absolutely. It, it, it, we have a, it's funny you [00:22:40] bring a washer dryer, like ours are, are now sending us text messages to say, Hey, your dryer's done. Oh, laundry's done. It's like, oh, that's amazing.

[00:22:47] Speaker 2: It's so helpful. Yeah. 

[00:22:48] Speaker: Wow. Talk about [00:22:50] universal design for the brain. That's one of the things that I've been saying is, you know, we have universal design for people that are, you know, impaired with their walking or breathing or whatever. [00:23:00] I would like to see some scaffolding built into our society for those of us who struggle with working memory or dyslexia or you know, a bill paying on [00:23:10] time and all of the Oh yeah, I saw the eyes go up.

[00:23:12] Speaker: Yeah. It's like I have these brilliant people who started businesses, but they're like, but I haven't paid my bills for three months. You know, and, and actually true confession, [00:23:20] I'm cleaning up my desk. 'cause I, I tend to like to work at my dining room. It's my favorite room. I have a beautiful desk. But, so my desk is just, um, a compository [00:23:30] of, of stuff that I've just not wanted to deal with.

[00:23:32] Speaker: So just today, and I'm an A DHD coach, I've written a book. I find a Please open immediately [00:23:40] folder, you know, so with my business, so, yep. There you are. Pre confession. 

[00:23:46] Speaker 2: Absolutely. I mean, it's, it's so true. I mean, [00:23:50] in the, the working professionals that I, that, that I work with, I see it. All the time and, and there's the sad part.

[00:23:58] Speaker 2: That is, there's so much shame that comes with [00:24:00] that and that that's one of the things that just, you know, really, really motivates me in working with my clients is there's no shame in the fact that that is just [00:24:10] simply how your brain is wired. 

[00:24:11] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:24:12] Speaker 2: The creativity and all of the amazing things that created your ability to do whatever it is that you're amazing at.

[00:24:18] Speaker 2: In your workplace, you [00:24:20] know, your CEO or your creative director or whatever it is that you're doing, that you're just rocking out all day. And then they'll have this shame that comes from, [00:24:30] well, I can never get my laundry done. Or, you know, I have to wash my clothes seven times before I finally remember to put 'em in the dryer or whatever.

[00:24:36] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:24:37] Speaker 2: Down to, you know, what seemed like, [00:24:40] what the outside neurotypical world would call. Very simple things, and just part of how you have to function as an adult. The adulting. There's no shame in the fact that that's just how your [00:24:50] brain is wired because 

[00:24:51] Speaker: mm-hmm. 

[00:24:51] Speaker 2: If your brain weren't wired that way, you wouldn't also have all of those amazing gifts that are enabling you to do groundbreaking things or whatever it is you [00:25:00] do on a given day.

[00:25:01] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. They have to balance out, I guess, is kind of the way I try to think about it is, you know, otherwise not everybody can as, as, as the kids these [00:25:10] days say in their video games, you know, you can't be so powered up that you have. No challenges whatsoever. So I, I try, I work a lot with my clients on that [00:25:20] because there's so much shame that comes with that, what are basic things.

[00:25:25] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:25:26] Speaker 2: And goes back to those negative messages and the negative [00:25:30] reinforcement that we get, you know, and some of it is so subtle. 

[00:25:33] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:25:34] Speaker 2: And it's really damaging. 

[00:25:35] Speaker: So I, I don't remember exactly the expression, but there was some, um, [00:25:40] meme all over and it was sort of like, you know, um, we have that weirdness in our family or something, but, you know, we don't, we don't hide it away.

[00:25:47] Speaker: We, you know, we put it on the front porch and, you know, [00:25:50] celebrate it. And I have to say, so I'm building a membership community called the Sparkler Society, and I've been like capturing my A DHD. [00:26:00] In real life and putting it on social media. Like just yesterday we were having, um, Hanukkah and my ex-husband was bringing his [00:26:10] girlfriend over to my house.

[00:26:11] Speaker: Which is, you know, unconventional. But we're a modern family, and so I have a dead plant that has literally been sitting on my patio for [00:26:20] months. I mean, before Halloween. I know. Mm-hmm. Right? I'm like, oh, it goes with the Halloween. 

[00:26:24] Speaker 2: There you go. And 

[00:26:25] Speaker: I'm like, I cannot have his girlfriend show up [00:26:30] in my house.

[00:26:30] Speaker: And so I literally, you know, show it on the film. And go to, by the way, this is such an A DHD thing. I don't like pick up the [00:26:40] pot, which would've been the easiest thing to do. 'cause in my mind, that's too many steps. And then take it over to the compost. I pick the dead plant plants 

[00:26:47] Speaker 2: out. 

[00:26:48] Speaker: Right. And then what do you think [00:26:50] happens when I pick the dead plant pot?

[00:26:51] Speaker 2: Oh, mess. Everywhere. 

[00:26:53] Speaker: Everywhere. And now, and actually, I just heard, I just heard the best saying in my last podcast interview, and he [00:27:00] said his aunt. Had this growing up. It says the Hurrier I go, the behinder I get. I love it. 

[00:27:07] Speaker 2: Yes. 

[00:27:07] Speaker: Okay. 

[00:27:07] Speaker 2: That's awesome. 

[00:27:08] Speaker: We're in such a natural [00:27:10] place for me to, um, ask you the button question.

[00:27:12] Speaker: Okay. Um, so are you familiar with the button question? You are. I'm a, 

[00:27:16] Speaker 2: I'm a listener of your podcast. Yes. Oh, 

[00:27:18] Speaker: I love it. That's great. That's [00:27:20] great. Okay, so when we come back, Jennifer Lawrence is going to answer whether she would push the button and not have a DHD. And before we go to break, I [00:27:30] just want to invite all of you who are listening to this podcast to please.

[00:27:34] Speaker: Like it and share it so that I can continue to get the word out because there's so many people [00:27:40] talking about A DHD, but we are not talking about it enough in aging. And the combination of aging with A DHD as, as Jennifer said, is, is more challenging and we should [00:27:50] not be left out of the conversation.

[00:27:53] Speaker: Aging is something we should celebrate. That's a whole other conversation. Um, so please do like it and share it. And as I [00:28:00] shared, I am building the Sparkler community, the Sparkler Society, and I wanted to call it that because the sparkle lies, you know, when. Someone with a [00:28:10] DHD has to do a task and they don't wanna do it anymore when we can sparkly it.

[00:28:14] Speaker: That was something I learned about in, in A DHD coaching. Then we give it a new fresh blood. But [00:28:20] also coincidentally, my, um, my tagline for my, my business is as. My company's called Silver Linings Transitions, and we do move management. So I will bring in a [00:28:30] magic wand and I say making moves magical. So I have a lot of pictures of me with the wand, so it just was like the perfect thing to call it.

[00:28:36] Speaker: But it's really all about accepting who we are, [00:28:40] you know, building a community together, letting go of the shame saying, Hey, I've got a bunch of subscriptions. I need to cancel. Let's get on and do this together, or let's. Put dates on our [00:28:50] calendar so we've remembered to send cards to people or, and, and stop the shame around it and just really start embracing who we are.

[00:28:56] Speaker: So, alright, so we're gonna pause and then I'm gonna actually let our [00:29:00] guest do some talking because I like to talk. I, I'm, I admit it. I'm one of the overs sharers, uh, with A DHD. Okay. We're gonna take a. So we are back with Jennifer [00:29:10] Lorenz, and I have to tell you that in the break, of course we were both talking about how we both think that we were dominating the conversation because that's such an A DHD thing.

[00:29:17] Speaker: And I'm like, no, no, no. It was me. I, I [00:29:20] definitely dominated. So I'm gonna try Jennifer to let you do more of the talking. And you know what, I'm gonna let you ask me a question too, 'cause I never do that. 

[00:29:28] Speaker 2: Ooh. 

[00:29:29] Speaker: But, um, 

[00:29:29] Speaker 2: [00:29:30] okay. I have to think about that. I have to gimme a minute to think. 

[00:29:32] Speaker: Okay. So now you're on the, the hook for the button question, if you could press the button and not have a DHD, [00:29:40] would you press the button?

[00:29:42] Speaker 2: No, I would not. Uh, I've thought about this quite a bit. Like I said, I'm a regular listener to your, to your podcast. I think it's such a fabulous [00:29:50] question. I can say that now when I'm calm and everything is going okay, if you catch me on a day where I've forgotten this or forgotten that, or the third time I'm going in the house because I've forgotten my phone and I forgot [00:30:00] my keys and I forgot whatever, usually my big one is, is working memory.

[00:30:03] Speaker 2: That's the one I have the, the worst challenge with. Um mm-hmm. I would, in the moment, I might be [00:30:10] tempted, um, because it, it does, I don't. I don't wanna sugarcoat things and have it seem like, you know, I hear a lot of people say it's a superpower, and I [00:30:20] think whatever, any individual, however, any individual categorizes it or, or, um, categorize is the wrong word, but absorbs it, what's the word [00:30:30] I'm looking for?

[00:30:30] Speaker 2: But however, any person. Deals with their challenges, their A-D-H-D-I say go, go for it. The more, the more positive it can be. So if, [00:30:40] if, if that phrasing works for people, then fabulous. Use it. I know there are definitely lots of people who feel like that, uh, undermines the challenges that [00:30:50] come with DHD, they, it 

[00:30:51] Speaker: positivity.

[00:30:52] Speaker 2: Yeah. And I, I totally understand that too. So I, I tend not to use that phrasing and I [00:31:00] think. Uh, there's so many positive things that can come from a DH adhd and you're just, you're just wired that way. Mm-hmm. So it's, it's [00:31:10] like saying, well, you know, yeah. There are definitely days that I wish my eyes were blue or green, and that doesn't mean I'm gonna ever be able to do anything about it, you know, aside from, I guess I can get [00:31:20] colored contacts, what have you.

[00:31:21] Speaker 2: But it's just the way that, that we're born and there are, so, I mean, I see this. I think with my kids in [00:31:30] particular, I look at them and it's like they are just. They are just cool, amazing humans. I'm so lucky to be their mom and to see them [00:31:40] grow and you know, I guess that's part of having an A DH ADHD coach as a mom.

[00:31:44] Speaker 2: We have normalized it in our house from the time my oldest received his [00:31:50] diagnosis. It's been like, Hey, this is what comes with it. And it's not about you're, you, you're bad at this, or any of those things. Those were definitely messages that I got. You're bad at math. You can't [00:32:00] math. 

[00:32:00] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:32:00] Speaker 2: Um, for example, I, I have a thing with math, obviously.

[00:32:04] Speaker: Oh, I have 

[00:32:04] Speaker 2: the 

[00:32:04] Speaker: same thing. 

[00:32:06] Speaker 2: So I, I think it's how we phrase those things and they, and [00:32:10] accepting, which is so hard, accepting that there are just some things I struggle with. Mm-hmm. I can work really, really hard on them. And, and that's where I sort of, that, that [00:32:20] Clifton strengths comes in for me is the foundation of Clifton strengths is the, the data shows us over research that you can work twice as hard, three times as [00:32:30] hard, five times as hard to improve those things that you're not naturally gifted at and your.

[00:32:36] Speaker 2: Your return on investment, so to speak, will be minimal. Mm-hmm. You'll gain [00:32:40] some, some increased skill. Mm-hmm. Whereas if you take even half of that same investment and effort and put it at the things that you're good at, you'll get exponentially [00:32:50] greater results. Mm-hmm. And I just think that's the best way to look at, at having it.

[00:32:55] Speaker 2: There are days where. Man, I just, yeah. It's really kind of kicking my butt and [00:33:00] that's the way that, that day is just gonna go. 

[00:33:03] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:33:03] Speaker 2: Um, and having the grace to say, and then there are days where I'm really killing it, and that's also 

[00:33:08] Speaker: mm-hmm. 

[00:33:09] Speaker 2: Due to my [00:33:10] A DH adhd, it's, it's just as much a part of me as, you know, as it's as every cell as anything else.

[00:33:15] Speaker 2: So there are definitely days and [00:33:20] challenges that I would certainly trade. 

[00:33:21] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:33:22] Speaker 2: Um, but overall. I wouldn't be where I am without, without it, I wouldn't be, I wouldn't have had the gift to be able to work with the [00:33:30] clients that I do. 

[00:33:31] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:33:31] Speaker 2: Without knowing. What they, how, how they struggle, and what they struggle with every day.

[00:33:37] Speaker 2: Um, and I, I wouldn't trade that. 

[00:33:39] Speaker: [00:33:40] So I have a question. I love your answer. I mean, I, I love your answer. I I, I'm gonna ask you the question, but I also wanna share something because I, you know, I'll forget it. Um, I wanted to ask you [00:33:50] if your kids are open to your coaching, because mine are not. Oh, I love the last, you know, it's like, oh, mom, you know, right.

[00:33:59] Speaker 2: We cannot coach [00:34:00] our own kids. 

[00:34:00] Speaker: Correct. 

[00:34:01] Speaker 2: This is so frustrating. By way, 

[00:34:03] Speaker: we also cannot help our parents downsize and declutter. Mm-hmm. Uh, that also does not work [00:34:10] well. Um, that's, that's a whole other subject matter, but, um, I was gonna share with you that I, you know, wrote my book, got it out in October. I had like back to back speaking [00:34:20] opportunities, so I was like going, going, going on.

[00:34:23] Speaker: Then I was supposed to have, um, like a book celebrating that my book had come out and I was gonna have a bunch of [00:34:30] people over, and I'm like, I do not have it in me. I am just absolutely spent. And, and I wouldn't in normal times [00:34:40] prior to all that I knew about my A-D-H-D-I would've continued with the party, pushed through it, and, and now I'm honoring my energy and I'm giving myself the pause.[00:34:50] 

[00:34:51] Speaker: Never would have happened. 

[00:34:53] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. 

[00:34:53] Speaker: So I do want to share that because I think that's really significant is that we do have these bursts of energy and [00:35:00] then we have the, I gotta retract by the way, to what you just talked about, your energy level and how you can be really, really good at some things, and that's where you should expend your energy.

[00:35:09] Speaker: I [00:35:10] learned about a book actually at the a DH ADHD conference that I actually finished. And I don't if you, if you're not someone that loves reading a, a, you know, book for me to have finished a book is significant. It was called [00:35:20] Buy Back Your Time by Dan Martel. And he actually, so it's funny, Steve, you start reading the book and you can tell from the first story, this guy's got a DHD, and of course he did.[00:35:30] 

[00:35:30] Speaker: Um, and it's really about, um, putting your, like looking at what your time is worth. You know, and that's obviously if you're in a career and you're being paid and then looking at all of the [00:35:40] things that you have to do that someone else could do that are, but if you love it, you should still do it. You still need those things.

[00:35:46] Speaker: You still need to build in the extras and that [00:35:50] balance that we talked about. But if you don't like it and you're spending your energy on it, what else could you be doing with your time? And so sometimes pay someone else to clean your house or to, or [00:36:00] to organize. I actually pay my team to come in and organize my house.

[00:36:02] Speaker: I 

[00:36:03] Speaker 2: think it's amazing. Yeah, absolutely. I, I need to read that. That is, I, I use that same argument with myself [00:36:10] in our home all the time. All the time. Mm-hmm. And I, I think about it, you know, like. If the, if I need a plumber like I'm gonna call a plumber because they [00:36:20] know what they're doing. Mm-hmm. They'll do it faster, better, and far more neatly than I would ever do on my own.

[00:36:26] Speaker 2: I don't ask them to come in and, you know, it would, it would not be a good choice for them to [00:36:30] come in and coach my clients. Why would I expect myself to be able to fix my sink? And, and again, that goes back to that whole shame language and all of it. I am so. [00:36:40] So happy you brought that up because it is so important.

[00:36:43] Speaker 2: I love the idea of buying back your time. I, I think about that all the time. Do I hate, I hate cleaning my house. [00:36:50] I admit I have a cleaning service that comes in, ever, you know, every couple of weeks. And I, it's, it's far worth it. And it's not just the time that you [00:37:00] spend doing whatever that activity is, it's the time you have to spend thinking about it, hating that you're gonna have to do it, gearing yourself up to do it, getting through all of the [00:37:10] comments to yourself of, oh, if I could just do this, and all of the things that we say to ourself, 'cause that's your condition.

[00:37:15] Speaker 2: Exactly. All of that counts too. Mm 

[00:37:18] Speaker: mm-hmm. [00:37:20] Right. Good. Well, I'm glad it, it's a great book. Okay, so what have I not asked you? Um, again, keeping in mind that I'm really gearing [00:37:30] this conversation to women 50 and over. By the way, you are allowed to, to listen if you're a man. If you're not a grandma, if you are [00:37:40] under 50, uh, you're, you're still welcome here.

[00:37:42] Speaker: I do not discriminate based on age, sex, religion, gender. Any of that stuff. We tend to be, as ADHDers, we tend to be really [00:37:50] open to other people and embracing everything. But anyway, I've never said that before by the way. I like that one. 

[00:37:56] Speaker 2: I love that. I'm so glad I, I think you're spot on. I mean, you know, when you think about [00:38:00] that button question, right?

[00:38:01] Speaker 2: Would I change that? I think that's one of the things that I love most, that I have learned through having a [00:38:10] DHD and, and. Working with the clients that I do is really being able to just see the brilliance and the amazing things that every [00:38:20] human is capable of and, you know, how would that change if they were, they were wired differently.

[00:38:25] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:38:26] Speaker 2: It's just, it's just that unique thing that makes every single individual, [00:38:30] as you say, sparkle. 

[00:38:31] Speaker: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I love it. Thank you for bringing that back. Okay, so what, first of all, who do you work with and who should reach out to [00:38:40] you? 

[00:38:41] Speaker 2: I work mostly with adults, um, whether they have a DHD or they don't.

[00:38:45] Speaker 2: That's the, the idea is that the, the skills that I have as a coach are [00:38:50] transferable, whether they have a DHD or they don't, whether they're diagnosed or they're not. Um, I don't require, uh, you know, paperwork that says that someone's been diagnosed or anything. It's, [00:39:00] it's just anybody who thinks that, that I can be of assistance to them and, you know, if they connect with me, whether it's.

[00:39:08] Speaker 2: Through the, the website or whatever it [00:39:10] is, however they come across me. Um, I think it's such a gift and such an honor to be given someone's trust. And so if I [00:39:20] have someone reach out, whether they're a 17-year-old or they're a 75-year-old, or anywhere in between and they say, I heard you talk about this, or I think, you know, you get it, or whatever it [00:39:30] is that causes them to reach out, because that in and of itself can be such a huge hurdle.

[00:39:34] Speaker 2: Reaching out for that help, whatever that might look like for any individual that is, is just an [00:39:40] honor to me. So I embrace. Clients from, from all walks of life, from all aspects and, and diagnosed or not. Um, I [00:39:50] just think it's such a gift to be able to have the ability and the training to be able to help them.

[00:39:55] Speaker 2: Um, it's what I would want from someone and so I, I just try to use that sort of [00:40:00] golden rule. Um. So I work with mostly adults. Uh, I do work with families on occasion. I, I like to work with them as a system. So if I'm working with kids, I think [00:40:10] I get the best results. I see the best results when I work with the kids and their parents.

[00:40:14] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:40:15] Speaker 2: Um. And so from all walks of life and from, from all aspects [00:40:20] of life, anyone who's struggling with organization, with priorities, with planning, with productivity, um, with, you know, I, I just can't seem to remember things and I can't put the structure in place [00:40:30] to get there. Those kinds of things. Um, and, and just.

[00:40:35] Speaker 2: Across the board, those executive function challenges. 

[00:40:38] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:40:38] Speaker 2: So just because [00:40:40] you, I mean, if you have executive function challenges, doesn't mean you have A DHD, but they're so closely related. Mm-hmm. That most ADHDers find that they have certain executive function skill [00:40:50] challenges. 

[00:40:50] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:40:51] Speaker 2: So that's why I got that extra special training in the EF challenges side of things, because I can tell pretty quickly.

[00:40:59] Speaker 2: Where we need to [00:41:00] narrow down and, and, and what structures and, and strategies and scaffolding we need to put in place. 

[00:41:05] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:41:05] Speaker 2: So that people aren't, you know, for me, I like to use working memory because it's such a challenge to [00:41:10] me. 

[00:41:10] Speaker: Me too. 

[00:41:10] Speaker 2: To see the post-its, I have everywhere. Right. And books from my post-its, and all of the different things that I do, but that's just what I need.

[00:41:18] Speaker 2: To be able to [00:41:20] function in the world that I am with all of, I mean, I'm a working mom of two boys. There's a lot going on in our house. That's what I need to function and I don't need to feel guilty or shame about that, and that's [00:41:30] what I wanna bring with my clients. 

[00:41:31] Speaker: Sure. So how can people find you? 

[00:41:34] Speaker 2: So I made it, I tried to make it really easy.

[00:41:36] Speaker 2: Um, so one last thing to remember. So it's jennifer lorenz [00:41:40] coaching.com. That's my website. You can book directly through there. Um, and everything is is right on my website, so you can reach me via email. There, you can, there's a contact form that you can reach [00:41:50] out and I try to put a lot of information on my website about the different things that, um, areas of.

[00:41:58] Speaker 2: That people can, can reach out [00:42:00] about some examples because sometimes they'll hear like, okay, well I think I could use some help, but I'm not really sure how or in what or how should I reach out? All of that is on my website, [00:42:10] so that's the easiest way to get me. Jennifer lorenz coaching.com. 

[00:42:13] Speaker: Nice. And that's L-O-R-E-N-Z for those of you who are listing.

[00:42:17] Speaker: And Jennifer, with the two ends. That's 

[00:42:19] Speaker 2: right. [00:42:20] 

[00:42:20] Speaker: Also, I will go into Trader Joe's, by the way, and when I see funky name names or spelling names, I'll be like, you have a parent with a DHD. 

[00:42:29] Speaker 2: So true. [00:42:30] 

[00:42:30] Speaker: Uhhuh. Mine is JAMI. That was a red flag. 

[00:42:34] Speaker 2: I love it. I think it's, I I love that that the spelling that you have.

[00:42:39] Speaker 2: Seems great. 

[00:42:39] Speaker: I [00:42:40] like it now too. I hated it when we grew up and, you know, you couldn't find your name on anything and you know, they'd call me jammy. But again, there's my squirrel moment. Okay, so [00:42:50] what did I not ask you? Or what do you wanna share that, 'cause you know, I'm sure you do this when you, you have a conversation and then you get off and then you're like ruminating over, ah, I should have said this.

[00:42:59] Speaker: [00:43:00] Or, and maybe I'm catching on the spot, but 

[00:43:02] Speaker 2: No, not at all. I mean, I, I think the message that. That I hope people who are listening to your podcast or if they [00:43:10] recommend it to others, first of all, I just think it's amazing what you're doing. I mean, that's why I wanted to, to be, this is the very first podcast I've ever done.

[00:43:18] Speaker 2: So what I wanted to, [00:43:20] to be with you first is I really love the, the way that you are going about putting, putting the energy behind de-stigmatizing. I think that's so critically [00:43:30] important and um, I just hope that those who hear this. Podcast, um, whether it's something they are personally dealing with or [00:43:40] someone in their life is dealing with, what have you, just to know that they're not broken, they're not less than, they're not stupid, [00:43:50] they're not all of the messages they most likely have gotten at some point or another through their lives.

[00:43:54] Speaker 2: It just means that your talents. Don't wrap up as neatly and as [00:44:00] structured as the way the world has been built. It's like I'm a, I'm a night owl, um, as many of us ADHDers are. That doesn't mean I can't get up in the morning because I [00:44:10] don't like to. It means it is not my preference. My energy is not best at that hour, and I can still do it.

[00:44:17] Speaker 2: To ask myself to suddenly [00:44:20] become an early bird. What is for, why, why, what does that do for me? Mm-hmm. Um, and it's, it's, pick your thing. It's, it's the same whether you're an introvert or an [00:44:30] extrovert, whatever it is. It goes back to that strengths function, right? Everybody has their unique challenges and their unique gifts, and, and we all need help figuring out how to manage [00:44:40] our challenges in this really over-scheduled, overbooked, overstimulated world.

[00:44:44] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. And. I just really hope that we can start breaking down that shame. 

[00:44:49] Speaker: [00:44:50] Mm-hmm. Yeah. That is definitely the biggest underlying curtain in all of my podcast interviews, and that that is absolutely that, that negative messaging, because we all heard [00:45:00] so much of it growing up and then we internalize it, and then that's the voice in our head.

[00:45:04] Speaker: And yeah, I mean. I say it an unnecessary episode, but it, I think it's like the first thing I say in my book, [00:45:10] which is like, this is the first and E, you know, easy in that you, everybody can do it. It's just uh, 

[00:45:16] Speaker 2: right. 

[00:45:17] Speaker: Yeah. Committed to doing it and being aware of it, so. [00:45:20] Okay. So any other final, by the way, did you think of a question because I've put it out there, I don't wanna circle back to it.

[00:45:26] Speaker 2: Oh man, I get so distracted. Right. So, [00:45:30] so typically distracted. I'm 

[00:45:32] Speaker: proud of myself for circling back because 

[00:45:33] Speaker 2: Yeah. 

[00:45:34] Speaker: You know, 

[00:45:34] Speaker 2: well done. Well done. I mean, 

[00:45:36] Speaker: yay for me, 

[00:45:37] Speaker 2: I would be really curious, like, I'm really [00:45:40] curious what prompted you to go from. From obviously having the passion for de-stigmatizing to, to launching the podcast, what got you to go, because that's not an easy step to [00:45:50] overcome.

[00:45:50] Speaker 2: So I'm really curious about that part. 

[00:45:52] Speaker: Oh, well I thank you for asking me that question. I, I think I'm gonna have to start doing this 'cause I haven't in my podcast. So, so [00:46:00] literally I was, I am a certified senior move manager. I am a member of nasa, the National Association of Senior Move Managers. [00:46:10] And we have our slow time of year.

[00:46:12] Speaker: And so, uh, someone, one of my colleagues said, Hey, you really need to invest more in the organizing, which is so funny 'cause as I shared, I'm not, [00:46:20] I am not an organizer, but I did earn my professional organizer designation because I can. Speak to it. Mm-hmm. Um, so while I was studying to become an [00:46:30] organizer, I learned about the ICD, which is the Institute for Challenging Disorganization.

[00:46:35] Speaker: And I earned, and I knew, by the way, so here's the backstory. I knew that I had A-D-H-D-I [00:46:40] found out after I had started my business. Um, but I was at the time, 45 years old. I've got three younger kids. My, you know, 13, 11, and six. [00:46:50] I'm going through a divorce, so, okay. I am 45 with a DH, adhd. I graduated college with high honors.

[00:46:55] Speaker: I started a business. It was some, okay, I have a DHD, and they just put it away. [00:47:00] And then when I became the level two specialist in A DHD and I started to really learn about it, then I was like, oh wait, there's something here. And then when [00:47:10] I heard someone, a podcast talking about fibromyalgia and migraine headache.

[00:47:16] Speaker: And a lot of people with A-D-H-D-I was like, spidey sense went up because my [00:47:20] mom has struggled with those her whole life. And, and we, no, cause nothing can be found. And PS I used to tell people when I would go [00:47:30] into their homes and they were really cluttered, oh, don't even worry about it. My mom has hoarding disorder.

[00:47:34] Speaker: I've seen this before. And then I'm like. Wait a minute. And so as soon, literally like [00:47:40] the day that I called my mom to say, Hey mom, I don't think you have a hoarding disorder. I think you have a DHD. The name came to me. It was like, grandma has a DHD. Like, it [00:47:50] just, it was divine. I mean, I'm very woo woo, but it, it was like this, this, I gotta get this message out.

[00:47:55] Speaker: And, and I will say too, I'm very blessed. That I love [00:48:00] public speaking. I do not get, I am like, I get energized from it. Mm-hmm. In fact, when I was in sixth grade, I was asked to deliver the speech to all the parents at the open house, [00:48:10] so something I've always liked. So it was a, and I've, I've always wanted to a podcast.

[00:48:15] Speaker: In fact, I had tried a couple different ones before, but, but you know, it is [00:48:20] interest based with A DHD and so nothing was interesting enough to get me to be consistent. And then when I realized that this was. Something that I wanted to get out. [00:48:30] I actually reached out to Dr. Kathleen Nado, who has, um, at the time had written the only book I could find on aging and a DHD and I reached out to her [00:48:40] and said, I'm starting this podcast.

[00:48:41] Speaker: Will you be a guest? And she was. She said, yes. So. And then people are just saying yes. But, but like I said, I, I have been [00:48:50] working with seniors for 12 years and you know, and I've al I was already on the soapbox about let's stop calling it anti-aging. So then when the A [00:49:00] DHD thing came about and you know, it just was so that.

[00:49:04] Speaker: That was a very, very, very long answer, but not 

[00:49:06] Speaker 2: at all. There's, there's a journey, [00:49:10] right? Everybody has that journey and that's, that's the great thing. You know, it's, it's amazing how one day something is just like, this is what I need to be doing. 

[00:49:17] Speaker: But I will say, and this is a really [00:49:20] important part, the technology, I actually recorded 10 episode.

[00:49:23] Speaker: In May of 2024, but I had a problem with the technology and I kept having issue after [00:49:30] issue come out. So I didn't release until October, and then I just made the decision that I was not going to do life on hard mode. That I was not going to make this too [00:49:40] complicated. I was not going to have the, all the edits and you know, all of that taken care of that I was just going to keep it.

[00:49:47] Speaker: Is, is, is very real [00:49:50] and, and eliminate as many things that would cause a deterrent for me. And I am very, very much, you've been listening to my podcast, perfect. Is the Enemy of Done. I've been saying that way before I even [00:50:00] knew I had a DHD. But perfection can keep us. Mm-hmm. And as you know, from going out into the world and giving, giving all that we can to it.

[00:50:09] Speaker: And I do [00:50:10] believe we're all here for a purpose. We are all given the skills and the tools that we need to fulfill that purpose. And I, you know, I would not press the button either, by the way. [00:50:20] 

[00:50:20] Speaker 2: Oh yeah. I, I, I totally get that. Yeah. I think that's such, that's such a great message. I, I, I think it's great what you're doing and I'm just really excited to be part of it.

[00:50:28] Speaker 2: So thank you for the [00:50:30] opportunity. Well. 

[00:50:30] Speaker: I'm honored that this was your first podcast. You nailed it. You need to do small podcast. You've got it. You've got it. Thanks. Don't again. Perfect. Is the enemy of done. Just go out into the [00:50:40] world and share your message. 'cause it was a great, it was a great conversation.

[00:50:43] Speaker 2: Yeah, likewise. Thank you so much. 

[00:50:44] Speaker: Yeah. So anything else you wanna say to our guests who are, you know, discovering their A DHD [00:50:50] or their likely A DHD later in life? 

[00:50:54] Speaker 2: It's, it's normal. It's normal for a lot of us. Um, you know, it just wasn't [00:51:00] something that was available to us when we were younger. The, the, thankfully the conversations for, for all the people doing exactly what you're doing [00:51:10] and de-stigmatizing it, is creating the ability for, for.

[00:51:14] Speaker 2: Our kids to get the help that they need. So much younger and so much earlier. That makes all of the [00:51:20] difference. And for those of us who didn't know or weren't diagnosed or you know, whatever, that, that hyperactive, you know, stereotype for a lot of us who are inattentive that that [00:51:30] hyperactivity is cognitive.

[00:51:31] Speaker 2: So it's our brain, just constantly. My mom used to say to me all the time, she's like, your brain just never shuts off. 

[00:51:35] Speaker: Mm-hmm. 

[00:51:36] Speaker 2: And I looked, was like, well, is it supposed to, like, it just seemed odd to me, like, well, of [00:51:40] course it doesn't. Um, but that turns out that's not how everybody is. Um, 

[00:51:43] Speaker: yeah. I can't imagine the quiet.

[00:51:45] Speaker 2: Yeah, it, it, I think it would, I think it would freak me out if it would [00:51:50] suddenly wake quiet. I would have to wonder. 

[00:51:52] Speaker: Right, right. Well, this has been an amazing interview. We went longer, so you should know that. I'm usually trying to cut it off, but I enjoyed the conversation [00:52:00] so much. I'm like, let's, they won't turn it off.

[00:52:01] Speaker: They can turn it off, but I'm really having fun. 

[00:52:03] Speaker 2: Likewise. 

[00:52:04] Speaker: Thank you so much. Jennifer. Lauren, you, you've done quite a bit. I didn't know about Gallup strengths. I know about. [00:52:10] Vs. Character, uh, strengths, VIA character strengths, which we learned about in ag training. But I'm gonna stop 'cause I keep going, going, going, going.

[00:52:17] Speaker: But thank you so much for listening [00:52:20] and if you, um, are listening to this podcast and, or you've heard this before, then you know that I like to end with, make the rest of your life the best of your life. Uh, there [00:52:30] is no point. In our lives when we shouldn't know ourselves better and you know, do everything we can to understand ourselves and make our lives easier.

[00:52:38] Speaker: So thank you [00:52:40] so much for listening. 

[00:52:42] I.