Rise & Build- How to Live a Life That Flourishes

Amber Joy is back for Part 2 of our conversation, diving deeper into what it truly means to live a life that flourishes.

As a wife, mom, author, and speaker, Amber understands that spending time with God doesn't always look picture-perfect. She shares how motherhood changed her quiet time, leading her to create an "emergency prayer tote" she could grab during nap time. That simple act of making time with God accessible became the inspiration behind her Fruity Journals, bite-sized devotionals based on the Fruits of the Spirit, designed to help busy women grow in their faith one moment at a time!

Whether you're in a season of exhaustion, longing for a deeper relationship with God, or simply looking for practical encouragement, this conversation is full of wisdom, grace, and hope.

For more Aha Moments visit https://buildingallchildren.org/podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome. My name is Kendra Morgan, and I'm the host of the Rise and Build Podcast, where we hope to empower you to rise up and build a strong family, knowing you have to strengthen your hands to do the good work. Come with us as we rise and build. Hey you guys, welcome to the Rise and Build Podcast. I am back with Amber Joy Thaxton, who is an LPC and she owns her own private practice, Joy Christian Counseling. And last time we hit some really good topics. So if you didn't listen to it, you might go back and listen to it. But today we are talking about what is it like to live a life that flourishes? What does that mean? And how in the world do you do it? Hi, Joy. Hi, Kendra. Thank you for being here. Okay, so last time we talked, we shared a lot of great information. This time we're talking kind of specifically about a couple topics. So you decided to write some journals. Why? Well, before I had kids, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

I had a whole life. Okay, I love it. And I got up early in the morning. I like to do my own thing before I talk to my husband. I've always been a person that got up early. And so I would journal, I would read my Bible, and then I felt like I had, okay, I have something to pour out into the world that day. Well, then we had our baby after being married for about two and a half years, and I had no idea where to find my quiet time anymore. Okay. And then I realized I'm not just trying to be a friend and be a wife and be all these things. Like someone actually needs to be fed by my body every two hours. Yes. Someone cries and wants me to respond. And I'm like, Lord, yeah, how in the world am I supposed to respond to the greater demands of life and I have even less time with you? And so it really became an area of contention between me and the Lord. Yeah. Because I felt like He wanted me to do something that He was not giving me the resources to do. And so I would have honest conversations with God as much as I could and just kind of share like how was this supposed to happen? Because I was feeling irritable, I was feeling bitter. And I remember one day I was, you know, going through my rant and I heard the Holy Spirit say, drop everything and pray. And I was like, okay. So I started this practice of whenever my daughter, Emery, would go down for a nap, or whenever she was, you know, playing and not necessarily needing me, just to talk to God. And so I started this practice of learning to get in time with him whenever there was an opportunity versus it having to look the way that I preferred for it to look, which was this beautiful time in the morning from 5 a.m. to 6 a.m., where I was just, you know, making my cappuccino, sitting in my little chair with my journal and my Bible. So the picture that it began to remind me of is whenever we were, um, when I was growing up, there would be earthquake drills, and they would have us like get the tote that was on the wall right before we would walk out into the field. And the tote had the list of the students' names, it had the emergency first aid kit in there. And I began to keep a tote just just prepped with a journal, with a Bible, with a highlighter, with the pen. And whenever there was a moment to still away, I would drop everything and pray. And I would grab my emergency tote. I love it. I would go deep. And so it became the theme.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Go drop everything and pray. So through that, it was decided. What did you hear from the spirit to kind of start doing some journaling?

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Well, there was so much content that I was writing through journaling. And from dropping everything and praying, so often, I started to realize, man, this journal is almost a book. And so then I started to think, like, man, I wonder how many other women feel the way that I have felt. Yes. And all of us. Yeah. And so something that also I think was just organic to who I was is journaling. And so I always liked journaling, but this time I was pairing it with the word. So I was looking at a scripture. I was processing, like, okay, what does this mean for my life? What was the intent intention of the author? How do I live this out? And so between the journal and the Bible, it became this opportunity to see how scripture is something that we have to really spend time with. And learning how to bring the word alive in our lives became fruity journals. And so I um had a moment when I was thinking, like, okay, I want to see a specific fruit come alive in my life. I will, I want to experience joy. Like that's my middle name. Like I want to experience that. And I believe that joy is a peace and assurance that God is our ever-present help. And learning that through motherhood was really the place where I saw that truth really come to life for me. And so learning that peace was not about my quiet time in the morning, it wasn't about everything going well, like that's happiness, and happiness is about happenings, but joy is about this knowing that God is with you through tough times, through beautiful times. And I created journals where there is opportunity to read scripture, but then also to write. What is God saying? What are things that are on your mind? And just really keeping a documentation of the evolution of what's happening in your heart or in my heart, and through that was the start of writing the journals.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Okay, so the journals are based off of the fruit of the spirit, so it's based off of Galatians. Is there a journal for each one of those? So there's nine fruits of the spirit. Can you talk a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Sure. So there are nine fruits of the spirit. So every single journal is a 30-day journal. Okay. And so every page has a scripture, and then there has a little there's a little devotional that kind of helps kind of bring some conversation around scripture. Okay. And then there's two pages of just blank notes so that you can process and respond to scripture. And I really do believe to have an intimate relationship with God, we have to get comfortable with having a conversation. And the Fruity Journal is supposed to be a tool that helps us to have a feedback loop with God, hearing what He's saying and responding back to Him.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

So do you have, could we pick a couple and kind of talk about those a little bit deeper? Sure. Um, not that you probably have a favorite, but do you have a couple that you really enjoy doing? Sure.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

So in the process, I started with Joy actually. And that was probably the most simple journal because I was just really just writing from kind of experience, taking scriptures that all had, you know, references to joy, and then putting maybe one or two questions in there and leaving a lot of room for writing. But as I was writing, I noticed I was really leaving self-control and gentleness for the end because I was like, man, I'm not really sure what that looks like, you know, in its fullness. And so when it came time to write the last two, which I'd say those for last, I absolutely fell in love with gentleness. I wouldn't say that gentleness is my most natural characteristic or fruit of the or fruit that really comes to me. And so learning about how gentleness really came about really helped me to understand that fruits of the spirit really are God's characteristics, his traits, and it's by his spirit that we really embody it. It's not because we're nice, it's not because we're good people, and it really took the shame away from me. So, gentleness, my definition that I believe God has placed on my heart is it's the pathway to the heart. And reading various scriptures in the Bible, one of them that came comes to mind is the woman at the well. Yeah. And how Jesus had such a real conversation with her, but he didn't shame her. No, he didn't yell at her, he didn't pressure her. There was a way that he spoke to her that went right to her heart. Yeah. And I believe that's what gentleness is.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

And I'm not sure she's ever been spoken to that way. Like she had never had a conversation. I mean, Jesus is Jesus, right? So it probably is just a different conversation. But he just looked at her through a gentle eye that she had never been seeing before. He saw the real her. Saw the real her. Okay, I love that you brought that up.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

Yeah. So that that is really what gentleness is about, is really learning who the father is and how he approaches us. Yeah. Because I think oftentimes we equate God to be just the whoever the authoritative person was in our life. And if that was a harsh person, then God is harsh. You know, if that was a passive person, they were always nice to us, then that's who God is. But God is someone who has very clear standards and expectations, and he has very real support for how he wants us to experience success in life. And that story, you know, really shows us how someone can tell you every single thing about your life, and that could be exciting. I think if someone told me everything about my life, that would be devastating.

unknown 8:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

But she ran from that conversation with God, ran back to her village and said, He told me everything about my life. And so many people came to Jesus because of that. And that really just showed me that there's a way that God enters each of our hearts, and it's a unique path. And for us to be gentle in spirit also requires for us to be very aware of how we're connecting with God and allowing him to have access to our heart so that we can also be conscious of that when we are being being mothers, being fathers, being, you know, walking in our calling, in our jobs. There's a pathway to speak to every person and being conscious of that really matters because it can make or break someone's day. Yeah, I love it. And then self-control. Self-control is hard. You would think, right? Because I think we think self-control and we're like, okay, white knuckle, no, white knuckle it. Like, pull yourself up and yeah, and get it together, girl. And so now, like when people say that, they're like, oh my gosh, I just have to get it together. Like, I cringe because I know I've been through so many challenging seasons of life. And if I would just rely on myself getting it together, I would have never gotten through it. Yeah. And so I really do believe that self-control is us becoming a willing vessel of the Lord. Um, last year in 2025, I went through a really challenging season. There was a lot of loss just around, you know, just family members, some of them just aging, some of them classmates that went way too early. And I was just emotionally depleted from seeing so many people go through devastating things and then, you know, also just witnessing loss, went through a lot of other changes. And at some point, I really felt myself struggling with like, how do I remain committed and devoted to the things I know I need to do when I don't have the strength, I don't have the energy. Sometimes I don't feel like I have the resources to do it. And really learning that to become an individual that is self-controlled is not me controlling myself. It's me being willing to allow the spirit to flow through me regardless of what circumstances are in front of me. And that was when I really saw my relationship with the Lord go to another level because I saw myself show up in ways that I know I could not have done it unless God was with me. Self-control.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

So what does that journal look like?

SPEAKER_01 11:17

So self-control starts with a scripture from Isaiah. Do you mind if I share it?

SPEAKER_00 11:21

No, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Please do. So Isaiah 64, 8 says, Yet you, Lord, are our father. We are the clay. You are the potter. We are all the work of your hand. And when I read that scripture, the very first thing that I think is it it's not on me.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

You are the potter. I am the clay. And being a willing vessel is really remembering who really is in power, who really has the control, and allowing ourselves to be surrendered and submitted to that.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

I love it. I love it. So they would go, I mean, that's like the start of the scripture, but then they kind of same thing. They would journal their scripture throughout it and it teaches them. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

So that next part of the journal has a devotional. Okay. And so it's going to talk a little bit more in depth about what does it look like for God to be the person that is shaping our life. And so there's, you know, some content around that to help us understand scripture a little bit better. And then it usually most journals will have a question at the end of that day for you to kind of process in your journal.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

I love it. So I love, I actually love the fruity journals. I think it so goes with you and just what you are about. I also think, because last podcast we talked about kind of some self-care, which we talked about the worldly self-care versus like the biblical self-care. And to me, this is self-care. Like this is soul care. It is. It's like soul care of just kind of reclining your heart to the Lord and making that connection so much stronger. So your your days are just better.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

So I feel like we have so many families that are struggling with just doing the to-do list and checking it off. Could you talk a little bit about if if you do these journals, how it helps you be a better parent?

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Sure. So one, I think the journals are a healthy habit, right? Like I think uh oftentimes it's easy for us to just grab the phone when we wake up to see like who's texting me while I'm asleep, what emails do I need to hop on so I can hit the ground running. But to train ourselves to hear what God has to say to us first is really important. And so I like the way you said to recline our heart. Yeah. I think sometimes when we're starting to walk with the Lord, it can feel like, what do I have to do? Yes. To really like just, you know, you know, be a Christian. And it's not about really doing anything as much as it is about receiving the love of God, receiving the love that is really going to help restore me to be the person that he knows that I am, but maybe life circumstances have has covered me up, and I haven't been able to see myself authentically the way that God sees me. Yeah. And so this journaling practice really helps us to practice picking up what God says first, taking time to really read it, digest it, and consider just through one scripture. It's not a whole bunch of scripture that we can get lost in. It's one simple scripture, a small devotional to help foster some more thought around it. And then what do I want to say in response? Because I think oftentimes, too, as we're developing a habit, and I love journaling probably because I was always supposed to be a therapist. But I think too, like journaling helps us to know if we're made in the image of God, there's some, there's treasure in there that we have to extract. And I think journaling is that opportunity to really pull out like, what is in here? What's the wisdom that lives in here? What is the what are the lessons that have come from the life that I've lived? And so that journaling process, I think, really allows us to experience what's what's locked in there that sometimes busyness covers up.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

I love it. I love it. Um, okay, so if I'm sitting here watching this or listening to this, how do I get your journals? What where do I start? What do I I mean? If I was listening to this, I would be like, I want the journal right now. So how how do we do it?

SPEAKER_01 15:05

So if you go to fruityjournals.com, okay, you're able to see all of the journals on that website. Okay. If you go to Joy Christian Counseling, you're also able to see journals there. Anytime we have a client who starts for the first time with our when our with our practice, we give everyone a discount on their first journal. Okay. And I think it's like 25% off or something. But we really want to get them in the hands of as many people that want to grow in the fruit of the spirit because we know when people are looking at our lives, they're they're looking to see is this a person that is bearing good fruit? And whether you're a believer or not, people want to be around people that are kind, they want to be around people who are loving, people who are self-controlled. And so really people see our fruit before they ever know who we are. And so the fruity journals, um, we want to make sure as many people who want to see that fruit develop in their life that they can have that resource. Is there a certain age? Is it no, they're per they're primarily written for everyone. In some journals, there's references to to being a woman. So I would say as as I'm writing them, I'm thinking about okay, motherhood, I'm thinking about my own life. And so for sure, there are journals that is based in scripture and scriptures for everyone, but definitely there's no age limit. I think that if you are a uh young adult, if you're a teen, that these are journals that you can read and they're at a a reading level where most people can understand them.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

I love it. We also, when we launch our podcast, we will reference. Um, so we will have a reference and to our website. So on our website, we have a resource page with a list of books. So we will add your journals to that. Um, and then we also have on um on our resource page, we have a podcast area that we can also put some information because I think it's so important that people know that these are available and it's an easy way to put Christ first and to really dig into scripture. Journaling is important. I love journaling. Um, it just takes a little bit of time. It does. So if I was sitting here going, okay, I want to do this, how much time would it take me to kind of get through one book?

SPEAKER_01 17:08

Mm-hmm. To to get through a book, it's gonna take 30 days. Okay. The amount of time you're gonna want to set aside is really, I would suggest, 30 minutes if you really at a minimum, if you want to get through, like really processing it, but those 30 minutes do not have to be consecutive. Okay. As I mentioned, this journal was started when I my baby was a newborn and she did not like to sleep. And so I didn't have a ton of time. So I would suggest setting aside the beginning of your day, whatever that looks like. If you if you're a new mom and that baby is up at the middle of the night, obviously you're gonna want to wait till you're alert, but being able to just read part of it, and then because it's it's labeled per day, come back to it, you know, whenever you have more time. But practicing dropping everything and praying, I think is the most important thing that I really hope these journals encourage individuals to do is to learn it to practice integrating God into every part of our day. And you will see your fruit develop because you're focused on seeing self-control, you'll notice that you're allowing yourself to be a willing vessel to God. You're allowing yourself to say no to things that you don't need or say yes to things that you're like, oh, that makes me uncomfortable. And you'll begin to feel the joy that comes from being obedient and seeing the fruit that comes from God's way manifesting in our life.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Well, and then it's contagious, right? Like if a mom studies that and living that life, the children pick up on that. Oh, yeah. And so it it's building a strong family, really and truly. I love it. So we always end with scripture. We that's how we end all of our podcasts. Um, do you do you mind reading the Galatians about the fruit of the spirits to us?

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Galatians 5, 22. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

I love it. And you have nine journals that go specifically through each one of those. And I'm really excited to get started on them because I just think when you go through that, it just changed it changes your heart. Absolutely. And you get to be the first recipient of the fruit. I love it. Again, if you're in Tulsa, you have a beautiful counseling company that I want people to know about. So it's Joy Counseling. Joy Christian Counseling. Joy Christian Counseling.com. Yes. Um, and you serve marriages, adults, children. Um, and so if someone's listening and wants to reach out to you, which I don't know, you might get flooded because I'm sitting here going, I think I need counseling. I want to do this more often. Um, so I want people to know that that is a resource here in Tulsa. Yes. Um, and then if you're not in Tulsa and you're watching or listening, there is these journals that everyone needs to go after and get. So we will resource them um and make sure that people can get to them. Thank you. Thank you for your heart. Like, I love how you are so Christ centered, and you know that if families and moms are seeking that, their day and their world is just gonna be better.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you so much for this opportunity to be on the couch and talk with you. This has this has been a blessing. Yeah, it's been awesome. Thanks.