Wedding Industry Mama - Navigating the Unique Scenarios of Motherhood in Our Industry
Wedding Industry Mama is the go-to podcast for creative moms building wedding businesses while raising families. Hosted by Meredith, a luxury wedding photographer and founder of multiple successful ventures, each episode delivers honest insights, marketing tips, automation strategies, and behind-the-scenes stories from the industry’s best wedding professionals who are juggling kids and career.
Wedding Industry Mama - Navigating the Unique Scenarios of Motherhood in Our Industry
Episode 6 - Mastering Your Mindset After Motherhood as a Wedding Pro | Courtney Wolf of Invision Events
https://weddingindustrymama.com
In this powerful episode, I sit down with Courtney Wolf — principal planner at Invision Events and founder of Educate | Empower | Encourage — to talk about what really happens behind the scenes of motherhood as a business owner in the wedding industry.
Courtney opens up about her experience with perinatal depression, the emotional shift of maternity leave, and how becoming a mother changed her approach to mindset, boundaries, and money. This conversation is full of real talk, encouraging perspective shifts, and the kind of vulnerability we don’t hear enough of in our field.
Whether you’re pregnant, on leave, newly postpartum, or just trying to juggle your business and babies — this episode will leave you feeling seen, supported, and fired up.
https://courtneycoveywolf.com/ for a free copy of her 11 life changing daily habits that will unlock your next level and ignite your personal power
https://www.instagram.com/courtneycoveywolf/ to say hey on the 'gram
Today's Sponsor: Green Aisle - A Platform for Modern Sustainable Weddings - Join the movement at https://green-aisle.com
Wedding Industry Mama Coloring Book: https://www.lulu.com/shop/meredith-kerr/wedding-industry-mama-a-coloring-book/paperback/product-9597z66.html?page=1&pageSize=4
Digital Version: https://payhip.com/b/bfFmX
Free email template on telling your brides you're pregnant: http://eepurl.com/jhJCTg
you
SPEAKER_01:Hi there, and welcome to Wedding Industry Mama, navigating the unique scenarios of motherhood in our industry. A podcast by and for mamas of the wedding industry so we can prove to us all that it can be done. My name is Meredith, your host and Wedding Industry Mama extraordinaire. I have been a part-time wedding photographer since 2004, a full-time wedding photographer since 2015, and a mother since 2020. I breastfed all of my babies for 14 months and have somehow managed to keep everything running without ever having full-time child care and I think you can do it too. Before we jump in, two quick things. First, this episode is sponsored by a brand new platform called Green Isle. If you're in the wedding industry and you're even a little curious about sustainability, saving money, or just doing things in a smarter way, go sign up for early access at green-isle.com. It's still under wraps, but I promise it's worth keeping an eye on. Second, I did a thing. I made a coloring book, but not just any coloring book. This one's for the moms in the Behind the scene moments we all know too well, from pumping between events to hauling gear while wrangling toddlers. It's thoughtful, fun, and honestly, a love letter to all of us. You can grab your softcover or digital copy in today's show notes. Doing so will help support this podcast, and I can't thank you enough. Courtney Wolfe is a nationally recognized wedding planner, business coach, and full-time mama of soon-to-be-two. She's the principal planner at Envision Events, a founder of Educate, Empower, and Courage, and a life coach where she's been called everything from a small business therapist to a personal trainer for your small biz. She holds a marketing degree and an MBA and brings both heart and strategy to everything she touches, helping creative entrepreneurs build businesses that actually support the lives they want. Twice named a Best Wedding Planner in America by brides, Courtney works with high-end couples across the country while coaching small business owners towards clarity, confidence, and sustainability. She lives in Atlanta with her husband Greg, their son William, and is currently preparing to welcome baby boy number two later this summer. Please welcome Courtney. Welcome, Courtney. So welcome, Courtney. I can't tell you how excited I am to have you here. You've been a great inspiration on the E3 learning area and watching your work with Envision Events. I'm so excited to have you. But first, would you mind just kind of giving everyone an overview of you and just tell us a little bit about yourself for those that may not know you?
SPEAKER_00:Sure. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me on today. Being a working mama is a a very special level of ninja. You know, and so when you reached out to be a guest, it really fired me up. So love that we get to have this chat today. I am Courtney Wolfe of Envision Events and Educate, Empower, and Courage, commonly known as E3 for those who may not be familiar. And a little bit of my backstory is I worked in corporate America for almost 10 years in sales, both inside and outside I have a degree in marketing. I also have my MBA. And 13 years ago, I decided to enter the creative entrepreneurial world and start working with Julie Bunkley, who had founded Envision Events. Envision's been around forever. Oh my goodness. I think this is like year, is this year 19? This is year 19 of Envision and I've been around for 13 of those. Yeah. Amazing. And so that was, I started that journey 13 years ago, but I didn't take the full leap to completely leave my full-time job and my cushy corporate benefits and, you know, this and that until seven years ago. Or I'm sorry, eight years ago. It was May of 2017. So that happened eight years ago. I went full time with Julie. We've never looked back, experienced a lot of growth. And then we did start coaching other creatives, I'd say in about 2018. We were simply realizing that a lot of the things we did naturally that we didn't even have to like think about or try. We were realizing a lot of the creatives, our peers around us had no idea how to do it or what it was or were even Yeah. Our clients were getting results. They were listening to what we had to say and they were implementing and they were getting real results. And in 2020, as we all know, the pandemic came through March of 2020 and we saw an opportunity to just really impact our industry and change it for the better in a way that hadn't been done before. We kind of saw what I like to call a pothole in the marketplace where there's a gap and And filling potholes, although that sounds not exciting, can actually be incredibly rewarding and also incredibly, from a business standpoint, incredibly profitable, incredibly sustainable, incredibly impactful. So we teamed up with a friend of ours, Wendy Kay of Birds of a Feather Events, and launched that in April of 2020. And so that was five, a little over five years ago. Oh my gosh. And to just sprinkle something a little extra on that I found out in December of 2020, I was expecting my first. Yay. And I became, yeah. And I became a mom in August of 2021, had my son, William. He's coming up on his fourth birthday and I am under 60 days out from welcoming our second son. Oh
SPEAKER_01:my goodness. Oh my goodness. I had no idea. I was looking at your website and I was like, I see one. I I'm not sure if she has to, but you had said more than once. I had my first when I was listening to some of your stuff and looking at like I had my first. So I was like, I wonder if she's so.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's so exciting. Congratulations. So another boy, another August baby, and he's he's going to be here very soon. Oh, my goodness. How are you feeling today? I am feeling fantastic. OK, I can't say the same thing about this pregnancy as a whole. Yeah. As I was saying a little bit off the record before we hit record this morning, this year and this pregnancy has really thrown me a wild card with regards to health. And I've had a lot of unexpected challenges. I went through a really bad, severe case of perinatal depression. So not postpartum, but essentially the same thing, just active while you're pregnant. So that was incredibly challenging. I've been dealing with low iron and very low ferritin and not just like, oh, you're anemic, eat some red meat, ha ha ha. Yeah. But, like, my organs were shutting down. Oh, my goodness. And I couldn't get out of bed. And, you know, it's like, oh, I'm really tired. And it's like, actually, no, you're not just tired. Your body's literally shutting down to preserve itself because you don't have enough blood pumping. And the blood that is pumping doesn't have enough oxygen in it. So my body, at a cellular level... was um not basically just not working right oh my goodness
SPEAKER_01:were the two linked then the depression and the okay and the anemia
SPEAKER_00:yes yes they were we didn't know that at first but um on the kind of coming out the back side of it yes um my body shutting down was giving me all of those feelings of anxiety overwhelm, despair, you know, it was scary. Yeah. I've never dealt with anything like that. I'm 39 years old, and I have never personally experienced those feelings or those sensations. And so it was a very dark and scary time. But let me tell you, coming out of the other side of it, the empathy I have for just humans in general, is like at an all-time new level. Like everyone is going through something and you don't know what it is. And we're all just doing... our best especially especially as moms yes and we do not and we do not give ourselves enough credit for it you know
SPEAKER_01:yeah
SPEAKER_00:so yeah that's been a doozy
SPEAKER_01:I put it oh my gosh so I feel the same way it's there's definitely a lot of feelings out there that I've had especially towards moms just because it's a huge shift I just had my third in March March last year so a year and a half but But yeah, it's been a shift for sure, especially with regards to my business and my mindset. And I know that's what you specialize in. So that's why I'm so excited to have you here and how great that you have, I mean, the silver lining, you can help even more people with the struggles you've gone through. And now moms listening may have experienced the same thing and not what's going on and I think this is gonna be helpful, so.
SPEAKER_00:I actually was running a month-long group program for women who wanted to build out new revenue streams in their business at the very beginning of this year. And I almost canceled it. I mean, I was not in a good place and I almost canceled it, but it was one Zoom a week. And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna do it. These women need me. I'm gonna show up. I'm gonna do it. And I did. And I let them in on kind of like what was happening behind the curtain. And it was amazing. how many of them had a similar story somewhere in their journey to relate to. And it was like, wow, we've all at some point dealt with something like this, but yet we're not really actively embracing it or talking about it or sharing it. And we kind of like feel guilt or shame around it. And so it kind of hit me. I was like, wow, like, okay, when I like really am through the other side and ready. I can't wait to share about this because I want to normalize it. Yeah. For moms, for moms, for women, you don't even necessarily have to be a mom to have experienced something, you know, debilitating.
SPEAKER_01:Was it because of the pregnancy?
SPEAKER_00:It was. Yeah, it is. Yep. My body's just, uh, This little guy is just taking a whole bunch of resources from me. They all do, right? Right? It's like, oh, no surprise there. So they do think I will return to normal post-pregnancy, but also the hematologist is putting a bit of a plan in place just for me to have good maintenance moving forward so that I don't have any blips on the radar. Cause I don't recommend this to anybody.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I mean, people don't know what we go with. I mean, moms do, but right. The general public, not moms and no clue and men. No idea. No idea. So, well, we appreciate you being here.
SPEAKER_00:I, I, I am glad that you mentioned how having your third has been a huge shift for you and how specifically like, it has like maybe done a number on your mindset and you know, putting everything in the crock pot, the kids, the house, the business, the this, the that. Because one thing I have realized this year that a message that I do really want to share with everyone is we have to embrace and accept where we are rather than fight it and try to shove the square peg into a round hole. Because when we can just simply embrace And it doesn't mean like we like necessarily what's going on, but just embracing it and accepting it and in a sense, almost kind of honoring it. Like, okay, this is a season. This too shall pass. I have found when we stop resisting, things really start to fall into place. Little things start clicking. We find that we find an easier way to accomplish something. We find ourselves happier. more fulfilled and that does that does have to do with our mindset regarding our situation so for anyone listening whatever season you are in a know that it won't last forever even the good ones even the great ones yeah they they won't last forever it's it's just a season and to really just accept it and not fight it because the the magic will happen when you do that i promise you it will
SPEAKER_01:yeah I mean, I have this conversation almost daily with my husband. It's like I'm in I'm happiest I've ever been. And also the most stressed out, most uncertain. It's just it's like such a dichotomy of mindset. It's been tough. So I remember I broke down to him probably two months after my third was born and just said, I'm just I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. And. You might, I mean, I'm sure you appreciate this. And I was listening to when you first went into maternity leave, how stressed out you were going into maternity leave, but that shifted your mindset. I've always been, I mean, I should say ever since I started my photography business, I've been very entrepreneurial mindset person. the way about me. I just, I love businesses. Like I appreciate everything you're doing. The fact that you're like, you know, coaching and doing the wedding planning and doing it all and, and basically being an influencer. Right. And you're a mom too. And how much that shifts and you're trying to keep it all going. And it's, I feel like I'm rambling, but you know what I mean? No, you're not
SPEAKER_00:rambling at all. You're spot on. Yeah, you're spot on. For up until just about a year ago, we had a full-time nanny who assisted with our family. And in fact, I was just looking at it in my phone. I had to look up something the other day. I couldn't remember if the event had happened in 2022 or 2023. And I said, well, let me just go look at the calendar on my phone. That'll tell me. Yeah, funny how we forget things as moms. Like, when was that? Was that three years ago? Right. Anyway. And I looked it up and it was 2022. And as I was looking at my calendar for that specific like week, I saw that I had 50 hours of childcare that particular week. And I was like, wow, okay, things like that, that in and of itself gave me a lot of freedom in other areas of my life. But about a year ago, our nanny, she was originally from the state of Washington, moved home to be close to her family. And I haven't pursued anyone else since. For a variety of reasons. So I have been adjusting to a new normal of what does it look like to still be me. to still do things that are important to me, to still show up for my family, show up for my partner, all these things, show up for my friends, my community, my church, all these things without this additional, like essentially resource that I had access to for the first couple years of William's life. And yeah, it's not easy. You know, things you have to, choices have to be made. You do start to get, one thing I can say, you do start to get a lot of clarity, a lot of clarity. You let things that you once were just so hung up on, those just go by the wayside. And guess what? Everybody lives, everybody survives, and everybody's good. So I, yeah, this last year has been a little bit more interesting for me just navigating. He goes to school in the morning. Like right now he's at, he's actually at VBS this week. So that's, that's kind of like school nine to nine to one is, is his school. He's in a couple of summer camps this, this summer at the Y, but like, that's it. That's my window, you know, nap time. Naptime, as any mom knows, can be unreliable. You don't know when or if it's going to happen. So I don't necessarily always count on that. If it does, I'll take advantage. And so you just do the best you can.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I have a very similar story. We decided to not have– we had the 30-hour nanny, so it's never been full-time. But I just– I felt like I wasn't raising the kids properly. And I said the whole reason I wanted to have this flexibility and this entrepreneurship was so I could be there for my family and could raise my kids myself. Yep. So it's been it's been so tough to kind of figure out what to do. It's like I I see myself not being the same entrepreneur that I could be. But I also am cherishing every moment I can, you know, every moment, you know, not every moment, but most moments with the kids. So it's, yeah, it's been quite the challenge to kind of figure it all out without any childcare like that. Same thing.
SPEAKER_00:The one thing I keep reminding myself, because I'm definitely in a season where this year I'm not the entrepreneur that I would want to be, but I Just like you said, if I'm not taking advantage of why I built some of this stuff in the first place, what's the point? You know, and I'm taking this year has been focused on taking care of myself and resting and healing and just taking care of my child and my household. And that's been like, if I can get that done. then I have felt, you know, I felt good. And business in general for me this year has been, yeah, put on the side burner. But that's the beauty in us being entrepreneurs, making our own rules, setting our own structures, and putting in all the work up to this point so that I could enjoy some of the fruits of my labor and not be my hair on fire, like, oh my gosh. I'm going to lose my job or something like that, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Right. I mean, I think... As hard as it's been, I don't think I'd want to be working for somebody else still. Amen. So can you tell me a little bit about then what's your plan for the summer? Do you have weddings? And what do you think you're going to do to navigate the health, the children, all
SPEAKER_00:of that? No weddings on the calendar currently, which is Julie and I over the last several years have done about one to two a year, which I know seems obviously incredibly like, uh, incredibly small, small volume based. Um, When we were in our peak growth, we were looking to cap around 10 to 12. And then post-COVID, we came out of post-COVID and we kind of started trimming it back from there. Going into this year, we did not have anything booked on the calendar. And I found out last December I was expecting number two. And so it was like, okay, well, I'm not actually going to complain about that. Yeah. Because... then it works, you know, but like both of us never say never, never say never. So like we keep an open mind about things, but no, no active weddings this year, which given what this year has been for me has been a huge blessing. So the focus where I have dabbled in my work this year has just been on the education, the coaching and the consulting side of the business.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Yeah. That's great. For those listening that maybe do have some weddings, can you share a little bit about what you did the first time, especially because the fact that you said that you doubled your income, your take-home income during maternity leave? So I think everybody would be very interested to hear how so that they can get their mind right if they're about to have a baby or maybe they just did have a baby. What can you tell
SPEAKER_00:us? Yeah. The first thing is you do have to lay the foundation and have the, you do have to be in the right mindset and just energy of embodying a woman, a mom who is gonna go on a maternity leave, going to have a baby, going to still run her business and yeah, is gonna double her income. Like there's no rule out there that says you can't do that. There truly is no limitation on us The only limits we have, unfortunately, are those that we place on ourself from stories that we tell in our head that just aren't true. So kind of the first step is just being even aware of those stories that are in our heads, and then acknowledging them, getting curious about, huh, where did this come from? Why do I think that? Like, you can tell yourself like, I know that's not true, but where is it coming from? Like, why am I hung up on this? And then finding the root cause, whether it was maybe childhood, spoiler alert, most of the time, it's something in childhood that we were either taught by our family or society and culture as a whole, or our community, our school, our church, somewhere, someone kind of planted a seed that we let grow. And so then finding the root cause and then rewriting it, you know, and saying, and that's kind of what happened to me. I was going into maternity leave and was so nervous that like everything was just going to crash and burn. And I did a call with my, a coach and she was like, well, who's, who says that? Like, why can't it be the opposite? Like there, you know, she reminded me, there's no rules. Like you, you can have your best year ever as a first time mom. coming out of a maternity leave, this and that. And I really believed that, you know, it took me, it wasn't like instantly I believed it, but it like took me a couple weeks of like noodling on it. Okay. And I was like, yeah, okay. Like I, I'm sold. She's right. There's no reason. And our beliefs are very, very powerful things. Our beliefs, our emotions, they translate into energy, right? Energy is very real. People can, you know, you know, you can be like meeting someone new for the first time and you either get a good vibe or a bad vibe. That's people's energy. It's real. It's palpable. And energy like tracks what goes on around us and becomes our realities in our own world. So that's kind of like the foundation first and foremost. But from there, I'll never forget that. Like the day I found out I was expecting William, I literally said, oh, and after I told my husband and, you know, we celebrated, I told Julie and I said, mark my words. We aren't messing around anymore. And it was like there was a fork in the road. Not that we had been messing around. It was like there was this fork in the road. And I was going down the path of becoming a mom and we're not messing around anymore. And that day, we took our minimum. At the time, our minimum for planning with us was$30,000. And we took it to 50. In that moment, we said, that's it. We're done messing around. We're going to this next level. It is what it is. I'm not going to have time to dink around. And And so the clarity I gained just in the moment of knowing I was becoming a mom really propelled me forward to my goals. And it's like it lit a fire. It lit a fire under me. So I... even how it has in the last year of not having childcare, you start to get this deep sense of clarity of certain things don't matter. I don't know if anyone's ever heard the term signal versus noise. This is actually a new term that my husband was just telling me about. I guess Steve Jobs used to say it, and he would say that he was 80% signal and 20% noise. And... he would focus every day on his signals. These are things that like actually move the needle in your life. In Steve Jobs's case, Apple. And he would focus on his signals first, and then he would allow that room each day for noise, whatever that was. Things that really didn't matter, but maybe he needed to pay attention to or attend a certain meeting for optics or who knows. Um, Now, 80-20, that's probably healthy for a business owner. Elon Musk, for example, they say is 100% signal. So he is never letting any sort of wiggle room in for anything else. And actually, that's not healthy to go 100% signal. But at the same time, just the flip of the coin is... OK, look at what he's built. You can't no one can deny what he has built. He started PayPal many moons ago. Obviously, he has Tesla. And then there's what is it? SpaceX, I think. Yeah,
SPEAKER_01:there are a
SPEAKER_00:few. Anyways. And so looking at your own life in your own business as a mom and saying, OK, what are my what are my signals? What are my non-negotiables? What do I know really moves the needle in my household? And what really moves the needle in my business? I'm not going to let go of those. I'm going to stay focused on those. And yeah, let everything else be noise. And it can, you know, let it go. I do think having systems... I know as creative entrepreneurs that might be challenging for some, but having systems in place, I've always had, not always, but for the last probably eight years, I've always had a VA. Okay. At the time when she started with me, five hours a week, if that, if that. And, you know, she's full time now, 40, 40 plus hours a week and has been for several years. The business could not have sustained her at that time. Several years ago, I was like going out on a limb to say five hours a week. Right. But I knew that that was the right. I knew I had to take things off my plate to grow the business. This was even before I was a mom. I just knew that in order to scale, in order to grow, I can't be all things to all people.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Yeah, it's impossible.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's not. It's just not. It's yeah, you can't do it. Now, I know that's what's asked of us as creatives and moms. And moms is to be all things to all people. But yeah, there is a time and place where finding, searching out, outsourcing, delegating where it's necessary in order to accomplish what you want to accomplish.
SPEAKER_01:What do you say to the mom that maybe has taken a step back and doesn't have those expendable funds to just outsource right off the bat? but they're also feeling like they have the children all day. So they can't, they, all they have is their time and that's it, but they need to outsource to be able to grow, but they can't, you know, what, what would you suggest to a mama?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I know it's, it's such a tough, like chicken egg kind of conversation. First things first, do not put pressure on yourself. Do not guilt yourself and do not shame yourself about anything. That's first and foremost, because when we have those feelings of pressure and guilt and shame, that's all called detraction energy. So the exact things we're wanting to call into our lives or to experience, we're actually pushing away from us. So it's like letting those things go and just being like, comfortable with yourself again kind of embracing the season that you're in even if you desire to change that season but I would say do the best that you can with what you have like there is a time and a place to get scrappy to get resourceful whether and that looks a little bit different for everyone it doesn't necessarily mean hiring a full-time nanny but does it mean utilizing family? Does it mean doing a trade-off with a neighbor who also might work from home and you can set up some sort of schedule where they keep the kids two mornings a week, you keep the kids two mornings a week? There's so many resources. I don't know if anyone has a Lifetime Fitness near them, but this is a new thing to me. Lifetime Fitness is allow you to do three hours of childcare a day with them as part of your, yes, as part of your membership. And we're talking like legitimate, like learning, children's learning environments. They do gymnastics, music, art, tumbling, tennis, basketball. I mean, so like that's a whole resource, but like do what you can, get creative, get scrappy. Also know that like, listen, As entrepreneurs, we have to be willing to take some risks. That's part of life, Meredith, right? Yeah. Like, if you're always on the edge looking over, watching everybody else soar, you're never actually giving yourself the opportunity to soar either because you're not taking the leap. Right. Right. You can't soar from an empty cup, too. No. And so life... is about risk. Funny, not just business, but funny enough, I hate risk. I'm very risk averse. So the risks I take, I recognize that I do have to take them, that I'm going to be scared, but I do them as calculated as I can. And I don't know, I just have like a sound belief in that even if something doesn't work, it's actually working out in my favor anyways, that that's how it worked out.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. You know, that's definitely a good overall mindset to have that if something doesn't work out, it's definitely for the best and for a reason you don't know yet, potentially. So with the last podcast I did, I actually mentioned how I had a miscarriage at one point and how my daughter wouldn't be here if that had worked out. So it's crazy to think I might have a different child if it hadn't worked out so
SPEAKER_00:and you can't imagine not having your daughter right you know right yeah so so yeah taking taking some risks it's It's just necessary. And some of those risks can be financial-based, where you do stretch yourself and go to an edge from a financial investing in yourself or investing in the future of your business perspective. But there's other risks that can be taken that maybe don't always have to do with finances. It can just be a risk of... potentially maybe your reputation or your time and your energy. There's different risks that can be taken.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think getting creative with it, even mentioning what you said about using a neighbor, that's a great idea. I mean, I've thought of that before, but I'm also like, I'm not sure how I'd approach that neighbor to say, like, hey, it depends on how familiarity yeah yeah yeah of course of course I mean yeah that's just one of the ways that you can do it but you know each one you'd have to kind of go in and see which one works for you in terms of like what's best so so how are you feeling about taking a step back this year are you stressed about it are you feeling a shift in identity like what what's your thoughts on that Okay, quick pause. Courtney's mic decided to take a little break here. So while we wait for it to pull itself together, let me tell you about something that doesn't glitch. The free email template I made for telling your couples you're pregnant. If you're in that moment of, how do I even say this? I got you. You can grab it right now. The link is in the show notes. Okay, back to the show.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, I'm actively charging the mic while using it. So it'll work. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Awesome. So I think the last thing I asked was just kind of like how you're feeling going into this season and your shift in identity and all of that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I asked, are you up in my head? There has been a huge shift in identity happening for me and it's come on hard and fast. And yes, at first, as all of this health stuff was unraveling, I was so frustrated, so angry, so upset. In addition to all the things I was already feeling, I was feeling a lot of this anger and resentment. And why is this happening to me? Why me? I was so angry. And as I kind of began to accept it and stop fighting it and pushing against it, I was realizing, okay, there's a reason this is all happening. And yeah, I've gone so hard for so long. There's a new door for me to walk through right now. And I am entering a new season. And man, what a beautiful season that is where I am just going to be a mom. You know, I mean, like, I'm not like dumping my businesses on the side of the road or anything like that. But the reality is, I haven't really been working this year for reasons beyond my own control. Right. But now I've been starting to feel better. I have about 60 days to go before the The new guy gets here and then I'll be going out on a maternity leave, right? This maternity leave will look a lot different than the last. And when I come back from that, I'm not coming back at the full throttle that I was doing before. I'm just, yeah, I'm shifting. I'm entering this new chapter and I will still be active with my businesses and push them forward. It's just going to be like, I don't know, am I going to work five hours a week instead of the 20 that I've been working the past couple of years? You know, prior to children, I was working 60 hours a week, you know? And so everything is an evolution.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. The only thing constant in business is change, so. Exactly. And in life,
SPEAKER_00:too.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so I've really actually come to a lot of peace about it and almost like this excitement of what's on. Okay, what does this new chapter hold? What? What opportunities, even just being here with you right now and talking on a podcast dedicated to motherhood. Yep. You know? With weddings. With weddings. Yeah. Yes. Like my worlds are colliding and it's beautiful. And so it's like, what opportunities are going to come in this new season? I don't even know. And that's like, that's the beauty. Also, I was just actually thinking about this last night. I was thinking, okay, you know, William's almost four. Yeah. Let's just say in another five years, I'll have a five-year-old and I'll have a nine-year-old. They'll both be in school. Maybe that's my next chapter of entrepreneurial discovery is I can go back to balls to the wall if I want to. Again, there's no rules here. Everything is fluid and flexible and things can ebb and flow with where we are.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Have you in your... I have so many questions. I'm just trying to figure them all out. But with your business, because I believe from the research I've done, Julie and Wendy both don't have children, right? So was there, just because you guys were doing this together, was there any kind of interesting navigating that just because you were in a season that they aren't in, don't plan to be in, you know, that kind
SPEAKER_00:of... Oh, that's a good question. It's never, you know, I think as women, we often can feel misunderstood. I think as mothers, we can often feel misunderstood. And to some degree, I think I have felt a little bit of that with them that they just don't get where I'm at. But at the same time, they've both been so incredibly supportive of me. And like, they have truly had my back. And yeah, you don't, I get that you don't find that in everyone. But like, man, when you find yourself a gem, like you hang on to those folks, right? And we've all like kind of gone through some, some periods where like, Wendy has needed to step away from the business for a certain period of time, or Julie has needed to. And it just kind of has so happened that, okay, now has kind of been my time. The beauty of working with two other women is, yeah, everything doesn't just fall on one person. I do understand that that is unique in many of us listening, I'm sure, are solopreneurs, right? So yeah, even though there's been a twinge of like, oh, they just don't get it. They... I have to really give them credit that they do get it. And they're just like, yeah, like, like when we schedule stuff in the business, they're like, Courtney, you dictate when we're doing this because your schedule sucks. is what's going to drive this. Like you do what you need to do. And when you're available, that's when we're going to put it on our calendars. And it's like, okay, thank you. I really appreciate that. Cause I only have nine, right? Like a working mom schedule without necessarily committed childcare is a logistical doozy. So yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Thanks. Yeah. I mean, even this, it was like, you know, that's part of why I picked the last date that you gave me because I was like, When can my husband or because it's at the point where our summer help isn't out of school yet. And so like we have a babysitter that's going to come occasionally, but she's still in high school. But school's over for them. So we're in this like two week period. And so my husband just needed as much notice as possible. And you might hear them outside. And my husband's I don't know, I think you might have heard the He's like cutting the grass and stuff. I'm like, really? Now? Now?
SPEAKER_00:Now you're mowing the lawn? Uh-huh. My husband has done the same thing before when I've been on like a live with our audience. And people are like, what is that noise? And I'm like, what noise? I think you hear Greg mowing the lawn. I'm so sorry. That's
SPEAKER_01:really funny. I actually do remember that happening. And I was like. Well,
SPEAKER_00:that sounds about right. One thing that just came to mind is, and this is such a great example of us even scheduling, you know, our session together today to chat about all this. In motherhood and business ownership, you still get to accomplish what you want to accomplish in the business. It just is on a little bit different of a pace. Yeah, it takes longer. Right. It takes longer, but it doesn't mean you still can't get what you want or have the results. You know, in my previous life, you would have reached out and we might have literally done the podcast later that week or the following week. This, we needed a few weeks to kind of, yeah, make the schedules work. I'm... I'm going to record an episode of Wedding Industry Insider And same thing. They sent me a calendar and it was like, oh, I need to go several. I need to go several weeks out. Yeah. But same thing. I'm still going to accomplish what I want to do. I'm going to be able to get on and share a message and have a conversation and, you know, explore some things. It's just not going to happen the exact day that it drops on my plate. Right. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, I went into this podcast thinking I was going to put an episode together every two weeks. And like right off the bat, I think the next one was three months later. So I've just, it's frustrating to me because I know what I'm capable of on my own, but at the same time. Sorry, go
SPEAKER_00:ahead. Make peace with that. If you still show up, that's what matters. You're still showing up. People are still listening. And moms in our industry are still, yeah, feeling seen and heard and acknowledged.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's great. I'm glad you feel that way too, because that's kind of how I feel. I feel like in general, the wedding industry isn't very kind to moms. And I've just felt like a lot of people don't even share that they're mothers in terms of the wedding space. You know what I mean? Because I get like the brides aren't necessarily moms, most of them. So why would you relate to them in that way? But it's such a huge piece of who I am now.
SPEAKER_02:That
SPEAKER_01:has been an interesting shift. And then like the self-confidence that shifts with that too, because like I, you know, I was on this trajectory and then I, I became a mom and the trajectory slowed. So then the self-confidence slowed. How would you what advice would you give to a mom that maybe is struggling with what pricing to do because they're struggling with that self-confidence of motherhood? Do you I mean, I guess that's just a general self-confidence question, but.
SPEAKER_00:What I see in a lot of women specifically, not even in our industry, just women as a whole and not even just moms, but women, is that, yeah, like we have this like fear of money. We have this like weird thing with money that men tend to not really have to work with. You know, a man can just tell you what it is and it's black and it's white and it is what it is. Here's the thing. Money. is just a tool it's neutral your pricing is neutral like there's no inherent there's no inherent moral thing behind it it is literally it is literally just paper first like it's paper that circulates the globe Billions upon billions, probably even trillions of times a day that, yes, does make our worlds go round. You know, how do we turn on the lights? How do we have water for the shower? How do we have food in the fridge? How does that do we get in the car and drive someplace and put gas in the car? Money. Money does all these things. Yeah. And so this first idea that just like as women. Yeah. Noticing that like money's just a thing. We don't have to give it any sort of weird power over us. It doesn't say anything about us. I think a lot of people like, you're probably, you've probably heard, charge your worth, right? Charge your worth. Okay, well, that's like horrible advice. What if I don't think I have any worth? And okay, my services are now free. So I don't necessarily... like to go down that path, but I do like to go down the path of, are we running a business here? Is this, you know, the answer is yes or no. Are we running a business? Yes or no? Okay. Yes. Okay. Why do I have a business? For me, A, I do love it, enjoy it. Like it brings me so much fulfillment, but I'm here to provide for my family. It's how I, my business is how I make money to provide for my family. And There's no rule out there that says I can't provide for my family very well. Nobody's mad at me because like it's a lot of it does, I believe, stem with religion. And so anyone who's grown up in the church might have a little bit steeper of a hill to climb. But God's not mad at us because we were able to buy our kids organic fruits and vegetables at the store. He's not mad at us because you took your family on a nice trip and were able to connect and make memories. Society and culture villainize people who have wealth. But really, again, money is not good or bad. It's just a tool and it's a resource and how you personally choose to use it, that's what matters. And it can do a lot of good for a lot of people. We were talking about how we can't pour from an empty cup. The same goes with finances. I can't bless other people and support causes or things that I'm passionate about. If my ass is broke, you know? Yeah. But with that, so just like exploring how you feel about money, realizing it truly is, it's just like air, it's neighbor, it's air, it's whatever, it's a tool, it's a resource. And then reminding yourself, yeah, you're in business. Businesses exist to produce profits. It is safe to receive profits. I think women, yeah, I mean, we have issues receiving, even receiving a compliment.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've been like that my whole life. I always, anytime somebody compliments me on something, I'm like, no, no, no. Because people actually with this whole... the podcast and actually design things with my husband and I'm doing a few other things too people are like how like oh my gosh you do it all and I'm like no no no I don't do it well I like think to myself like oh I don't do it well but I think that having that conversation with you and talking about pricing was important because I know it's what you specialize in and I think that women in general and mothers can do so much that our self-worth should probably be even higher. You know what I mean? So like price your word. Yeah. That we actually don't give ourselves enough credit for everything we can do.
SPEAKER_00:And what the beauty of the industry that we're in specifically is it's a creative based industry. It's art and art. I mean, if you follow anything with art, it's like some guy threw a Dorito on a canvas and it sold at auction for a million bucks. Yeah. Why? Because someone, beauty's in the eye of the beholder, and someone found it to be interesting or fascinating. The same goes for us in our creative businesses. Wasn't there a banana taped? I think there was a banana taped canvas at the house. That's another one. I think it's self-fulfilling. It's a million or something. It is. And it sounds really ridiculous, but it's like, again, there's no rules. Who says it can't? There's no rule that says it can't. And if that's what that person says, created and someone else, they found it, you know, that they, there was an audience for that. And there's an audience for each of us and for our perspectives of what we bring, regardless of what our discipline is in this industry. But we have to, we set the tone. Someone doesn't come to us and say, oh, yeah, I'll pay you$50,000 to plan my wedding. No, I set that tone. I set that, I draw that line in the sand. And And there are people out there who I aspire to be. I would love to hire a wedding planner for my son's rehearsal dinner in 20 something years and pay them$50,000. Like that's very aspirational. I'm not on my client. Most of us probably are not our clients, but understanding that those clients do exist and they are looking to pay creative experts a premium. to deliver an exceptional experience. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:This is a little sidetracked, but you called them, at one point you said that those people float. Like they float through life. Things are pebbly. And so I actually said that to my husband at one point. And so now we affectionately call them floaters. So anybody like, oh, that's a floater. They're definitely a floater. You know, it's become like a funny thing between me and my husband.
SPEAKER_00:I try to think about, I try to embody a sense of floating like day to day. And it's like, okay, where can I let this be a little bit easier? Where can I find a shortcut? Where can I let... How can I be on a cloud and just, you know, just to float along? And I do, I try to find moments throughout the day where I can do that. And sometimes it's just like, okay, I'm just going to let William, you know, destroy everything. this room or, you know, whatever. Yeah. Because I'm just going to float along through this moment and another moment will come where I'm ready to clean it up and to straighten it up. But for now, I'm just going to float through it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I mean, you have to do that as a mom. Like, I can't tell you how many times I pick up the same mess and I actually fall on your, right? It's never ending. It's mind numbing. Yeah. Let's be real. It's mind numbing. And you sat, you had on your 11 ways, that freebie that you offer. It's a It says, keep your space clean. And I'm like, well, what if you're a mom?
SPEAKER_00:Because it's constant. You can find a nook or a cranny, such as your desk. Yep. And own that. And you can own that. And I used to, it's funny, one of the spaces I used to take a lot of pride in was my car. My car was always clean, just squeaky clean. Yes. No, it is. That thing is a war zone now. Oh, I embrace it.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my God, the car. It's like, oh my God, it's the worst. I, you know, it's like, you can't make rules to not eat in the car. I mean, I know it's safety wise, you probably shouldn't, but it's stopping tantrums.
SPEAKER_00:Usually, it's how it's like, how can that much mess happen a in that small of a space and be in that short of amount of time for us to drive the 10 minutes to get to wherever it is we're going right and then we're
SPEAKER_01:late right so then we have to, we're not going to clean it out right then, and then so you get in the car and then it. It compiles. Yes. This was never my life. So everyone says, oh, you'll miss it one day. And I still say to myself, like, I'm going to miss that Miss Children. I am not going to miss the
SPEAKER_00:mess. There you go. There you go. It was funny for Mother's Day. I told my husband, all I want is a car detail. Just get the car detail. And we've had so much rain since. really for like yeah the past month that like all of May it was like every day he would want to take the car to go get it detailed he's like oh my gosh we're gonna be getting thunderstorms for three days in a row I'm not gonna take it just yet and I'm like okay so it was like the end of May and he's like I promise I'm gonna get your car detailed I'm waiting for you to like be able to enjoy it and it was actually just a couple weeks ago that he took it and oh it was just a breath of fresh air
SPEAKER_01:yeah oh my gosh I know I took pride in my car too back in the day so back in the day. Back in the day, it was like that was there was nothing in my car ever. It was always perfect. So yeah, there's just no winning when it comes to some of this stuff. So it is what it is. So yeah, I'd love to just kind of ask just the last thing of everybody is, do you have two or three women that you know are mothers in the industry that you think are crushing it and you kind of want to shout out to them and Any kind of thought on that?
SPEAKER_00:I don't know that I want to do that because we don't actually know everybody's inner workings behind the scenes. We would only know what we see that each of us share. And I'm guilty of that myself. No one sees all the inner workings of what I've been going through. I've shared a little sliver of it twice on social this year. I haven't had the energy to even share the message of what I've been dealing with. But I think all moms are killing it because it's inherent, because they're a mom. If you are a mom, you are killing it. Like that is just, that is the nature of it. So I'm not going to necessarily name anybody because to me that drives home the optics of like, oh, look at how great so-and-so has it. Oh, this or that. Yeah. I don't know. Does that land? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's totally fine. I mean, you answer it however you want. It's not supposed to be like, like you said, when you were talking about the other podcast, feeling heavy. I don't want this to feel heavy at all to anybody listening. And so far, that's the feedback I've gotten, just that people are like, oh my God, I could listen to you all day. So I'm like, oh, that's good. Cause like it's, you know, it's chats that we don't necessarily have with each other in the wedding industry, you know, cause
SPEAKER_00:like we're all in our own little bubbles. So I think there's probably, there's more moms than we realize in our industry, but you're right. A lot of people are, are real quiet about it. I mean, people are even quiet about their pregnancies. I've heard of, I've heard of creatives not ever sharing that they were expecting and Because they were, I mean, they were afraid it would affect their bookings. And I hate to even say that, but that's what some people have felt so strongly, like they couldn't even share that they were expecting. I do think, like, there's a phrase that says, like, if you're worried about being a good mom, that's the sign that you actually, you know, newsflash, you are. And so I think about that, too, like... If you're worried about what you're doing, you're ahead of the game because you care. Now, I don't want us all to sit in these zones of worry. Worry literally does nothing other than waste time and money and energy and depletes us mentally and emotionally. Worry Please tell me the last time worry solved something. You know what I mean? It doesn't. I don't worry about much. And that's not because my life is perfect. And it's not because I'm sitting in some tower in some castle with people feeding me grapes. No, but it's just I've come to grips with that being there's better ways for me to use the gifts I've been given. Worry is not one of them as a mom. As a business owner, as a friend, as a spouse, the whole shebang, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I mean, and that's probably why you were so aware that you were off with your pregnancy if you were in that mindset. So you sound like a floater to me, Courtney. I'm not going
SPEAKER_00:to hide. Do you envision myself? Sometimes I literally will take a moment to visualize myself on a cloud. Yeah. And just like, oh, just the peace.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, they tell you to do that in labor too, right? Like think of yourself in the most serene environment so you can picture yourself on a cloud. Was your birth okay with the first? Are you anticipating a good
SPEAKER_00:birth or? It was. Everything with William was so easy. My goodness gracious. My first pregnancy was very easy. My first delivery and all of that. I did have an unplanned C-section the first go around. But I also went in with no birth plan because I was like, what will be, will be. And my goal was for myself to be happy and healthy and for my child to be happy and healthy. And that was accomplished. Turns out he had this interesting kind of disorder at birth called NATE. It stands for neonatal autoimmune thrombocytopenia. I had never heard of it. I know, right? I'd never heard of it a day in my life. What it is, is that there is a protein in my husband's like blood or DNA or something that isn't compatible with mine. And so when I was pregnant the first go around, we didn't know this until birth, but when I was pregnant with him, my body was producing antibodies and were eating up William's platelets. OK. Platelets are in your blood and they help clot your blood.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So you can't hemorrhage or things like that. And so at birth, a normal baby would have, say, half a million platelets and you'd hold on to those for life. William was born with six thousand platelets. Oh, my God. So he was critically low and a normal, you know, vaginal platelet. come down the birth canal birth could have really put him at a lot of risk for bruising and hemorrhaging because of his low platelets. So in the end, this unplanned C-section that I had was really a gift for him to get here safely. They took his blood at birth. And in fact, they had to come ask me, they said, you know, you spiked a fever during labor and we don't normally take any sort of, you know, blood work on a newborn baby. And so we need to come get your permission. And I kid you not, Meredith, in the back of my mind, I'm like, these dang hospitals, they're just trying to rack up whatever they can rack up. But yeah, take his blood, do the blood work, whatever, of course. And they were like, we just want to make sure he doesn't have an infection because of your fever that you spiked. Well, it turns out when they took that blood work, that's how they discovered, whoa, your baby has critically low platelets and he had to go have a transfusion. Oh, my gosh. Mm-hmm. Wow. And he went to the NICU. He was only there for a few days. It was a very brief NICU window, but that was all, like, it was all unplanned. You know, that wasn't on my bingo card. But, again, I didn't worry. I just knew... what will be will be. And I need, I'm at peace. It was funny. I had a moment where I like let out a lot of tears and I was like, gosh, I wasn't grateful enough for this pregnancy. And this is me being kind of tested with, with my gratitude. Not that anything was looking back on it. I'm like, wow, that was a really poor thought to have because nothing's my fault. Like I wasn't to blame for this, but yeah, he just, That wasn't on my bingo card, but I was like, whatever will be will be. And this is my story. And this is, you know, what it is, what it is. But he turned out to be completely just fine. It was just a minor blip on the radar.
SPEAKER_01:Thank goodness. That's amazing. And it's like you like it. Like you said, if everything happens for a reason and you luckily took his blood and, you know, like, thank goodness.
SPEAKER_00:All that to say, though, this second baby has been, I mean, they say every pregnancy is different, right?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you said it's been a rough, right?
SPEAKER_00:And yeah, they are, man, they are not kidding. Every pregnancy is different. And so I'm like, okay, I'm not preparing for a poor birth experience, but I'm not going to like get too hung up on that. Oh my gosh, it's going to be just like it was last time. You know, we'll, we'll take everything in stride. And yeah. Are you trying?
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Are you trying for a VBAC or
SPEAKER_01:are you?
SPEAKER_00:Nope, I'm going for my second section. Oh, cool. We've got it scheduled. Nice. I'm going to show up. I'm going to, yep, it's going to be easy breezy, lemon squeezy as Peppa Pig says. It
SPEAKER_01:is. It is. So that's amazing. I'm so glad that, you know, I think scheduled C-sections can take a lot of mental load off. For sure. I'm getting my hair done. I'm getting my nails done. I'm going to show up. You're like, I'm ready. Super fresh. Yeah. You are so ready. So yeah, just to wrap it up then, if you can just share how people can get in touch with you and any other things you want them to know in terms of your business or...
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So I do coach and consult with other creative entrepreneurs, specifically women, and obviously have a soft space for all my mamas. Even if I niche down even further, you can visit me at CourtneyCoveyWolf.com. There's all sorts of information, just a little bit about me, but also the services that I work with other entrepreneurs on. And you can also always send me a note straight to my inbox. I would love to hear from you. I'm hello at CourtneyCoveyWolf.com. And if you want to be friendly on Instagram and play over there or send me a DM and say hello, that is at CourtneyCoveyWolf.
SPEAKER_01:Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Courtney. Okay, I can totally see why people call her a therapist for their small business. That was so powerful, so much jam-packed information. I don't know about you guys, but my mindset has completely shifted after listening to her speak. Next time, we're jumping across the pond to chat with Becca Potney, a wedding videographer turned wedding business consultant in London. We are going to chat about how to put your family first and still run a thriving wedding business. We'll see you there. Hey mamas, thanks for listening. Don't forget to hit that follow button and we'll see you at the next episode.