How to Teach Your ADHD Child to Advocate for Themselves: Tips for Every Age

Discover the transformative power of self-advocacy in our latest podcast episode! We dive deep into why empowering children and teens to speak up for themselves is essential, particularly for those navigating the complexities of ADHD. From the tender ages of 8 to 12, where it’s all about building confidence and awareness, to the rebellious teenage years where ownership and responsibility come into play, we break down practical steps for parents and educators alike.

Join us as we unveil age-specific strategies to help your child identify their unique strengths and challenges and articulate their needs through simple, effective phrases. Learn how you can foster these vital communication skills at home with engaging role-playing exercises. We also address the unique landscape of self-advocacy for young adults. As they transition into college and the workforce, understanding their legal rights and the nuances of disclosing their ADHD becomes crucial. 

In this episode, we stress the importance of practice and provide actionable tips for reaching out to educators or employers, ensuring that young individuals can navigate their academic and professional journeys with confidence. This is your chance to be part of a supportive community where we tackle your self-advocacy challenges. Tune in, and let’s embark on this empowering journey together! Don’t forget to subscribe and share your thoughts with us!

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Transcript

Welcome to NeuroQuirky Nexus

Laurie 1:47

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Neuroquirky Nexus. So happy you're here with us today. Thank you so much. So we're going to continue on from what we talked about last week, which was advocating for your child. I really thought it important to continue the subtopic we talked about, which was your child advocating for themselves, and I thought it'd be really helpful to show that children can advocate for themselves at different ages. So today we're going to go through different ages. We are talking about this topic because it can change the game for kids, teens, even adults with ADHD, and really that is advocating for yourself.

Laurie 2:36

Self-advocacy is the ability to recognize what you need and to confidently ask for it. But really, let's get real. Speaking up for yourself isn't always easy. Whether you're 18 or 8 or 80, knowing when and how to advocate for your needs can feel overwhelming. So in this episode we're breaking it down by age group so that parents, educators and even students themselves can learn the best ways to build these skills. We'll start with younger kids, move into teens and then talk about what advocacy looks like in college and the workplace. Are you ready? Let's get quirky. Okay, ages 8 to 12, building awareness and confidence. So let's start with the younger kids. Those 8 to 12 year olds is a good age to start. This is a stage where kids are just beginning to understand how they learn best, and our job as parents and educators is to help them feel confident in speaking up for their needs. Up for their needs.

Laurie 3:56

So, step one understanding their ADHD. Kids need to know that ADHD is not a bad thing. It just means their brains work differently. Use simple explanations to help them, such as your brain is like a race car with bicycle brakes. It goes really, really, really fast, but sometimes it needs extra tools to slow down and focus. Also, you could say things like your brain is like a TV with a lot of channels, but the remote doesn't always land on the right one. Right, meaning that sometimes they get stuck on a channel that they don't want, like daydreaming when you need to focus. So that's one area you could help them with. Another one your brain is like a superhero with super speed, but it needs a sidekick to help direct that energy right, meaning that they have amazing ideas and they can think really fast, but sometimes their brain jumps ahead before they're ready.

Advocacy for Ages 13-17

Laurie 4:56

Step two identifying strengths and challenges. Help your kids list out what helps them focus? Is it movement breaks? Is it quiet spaces? Is it a fidget? What makes things harder? Loud noises, too many instructions at once. List those things out to help them help themselves, because we're we're going to they're going to start advocating and coming up here so you could have them draw or write my brains superpowers and struggles list and I've gone into this in previous episodes and I go into this in a course I'm teaching learning about your brain, superpowers and struggles from a parent's perspective. So lots of opportunities to go into that. If you are wondering what that's all about the superpower of your child's brain Step three will be teaching advocacy phrases, right.

Laurie 5:59

So now that we've taught them those words, let's move into how they're going to say it and advocate. So we're going to give them actual words to use when they need help. Here are some simple phrases kids can practice. Can I have a break so I can focus better? It really helps me when I can doodle while listening. Can I doodle? I didn't understand. Can you explain it another way? Aren't those great phrases? What advocacy you can practice at home. You can role play at home so that your child feels comfortable using them when they get to school or on a play date or in the park, right? So practice these phrases based on their superpowers and their skills, and really teach them the words to say All right, let's move into the next age group, ages 13 to 17, taking ownership and speaking up.

Laurie 6:57

So now we're going to talk about those teenagers. Right, this is when we start expecting kids to take more responsibility for their education and daily life. But it's tough when you feel like adults don't always listen to you. So how can we help teenagers advocate for themselves confidently? Well, they should know their rights. Teens with ADHD should know what's in their 504 plan or their IEP If you have one. They should know and be aware not all of it, but at least the accommodations. Encourage them to read it and ask are these accommodations actually helping me? They really need to chime in for themselves as well. Teach them the difference between an accommodation, which is changes in how they learn, like extra time on tests, or a modification, which is changes in what they learn, like different homework load. So accommodations is how tools to help them with how they learn is how tools to help them with how they learn, and modifications are tools to help them with what they learn, and teachers should be putting these in the classroom, and we talked about that last week a little bit, about you working with the teacher after the IEP or 504 meeting. Okay, step two practicing right. They need to practice this discussion because it's hard.

Advocacy for Ages 18+

Laurie 8:34

As a former teacher, I know I was so proud of the kids that came and advocated, but it was rare, rare for them to come and actually ask. So teens should be able to email teachers or talk to them directly when they need that help though, especially during testing time. So here's an example of a great email template for a teen asking for support. The teen could write hi and the teacher's name. I wanted to check in about my accommodations I've been struggling with, and then they could give the challenge and I think whatever the accommodation is would help me stay on track. Can we talk about this? Thanks and your child's name. Isn't that respectful but also really proactive? And you can help them write this email before they send it off, and then in the future it gets easier and easier. Send it off and then in the future, it gets easier and easier.

Laurie 9:33

So, just in case there's pushback or if they need to solve problems around advocating for themselves, they need to talk to the teachers, because teachers sometimes forget the combinations or modifications or they don't think they're necessary. So teach your teens to stay calm and ask for clarification. Suggest a solution. If I can't have extra time on a test, could I take it in a quieter space, for example, and know when to escalate the issue? Talk to a counselor or parent if needed. So if they've read the IEP or 504, they know what's there, they know what their rights are, they know what helps them best. They should talk to the teacher and either pull out the document together or ask for the counselor that made the IEP or 504 to come in and help the teacher and you work together to come up with solutions and then, if it gets really bad, maybe bringing in the parent. But I think if they're a teenager, they should start advocating stronger for themselves and the people in their community and of course those are a lot of school-related situations, but they should be doing this with friends and in public places. If they do need to advocate for themselves, they should in many places more than just school. But obviously we were focusing on school there. All right, let's talk about the next age, 18 plus, right, college work and beyond. So young adults navigating college and their new workforce. This is where self-advocacy becomes even more important Because, unlike school, no one is going to advocate for them. They have to take charge. They're on their own, so they need to know their legal rights right.

Laurie 11:32

In college, students must register with the disability services to get accommodations In the workplace. Adhd falls under the Americans with Disabilities Act or ADA. Or ADA, which means employees can request reasonable accommodations. The key here is knowing how and when to disclose their ADHD. So requesting accommodations in college. You should really encourage your child to email professors early about accommodations. For example, they could say hi, professor, name, I'm registered with the disability services and have accommodations for whatever their specific need is. I'd like to discuss how we can implement them in this class. They can also attend office hours of every professor. They usually have office hours, so they should be attending those.

13:01 Final Thoughts and Next Steps

Laurie 12:32

And then, when they get to the workplace, instead of saying I have ADHD and I need accommodations right, better to be a little more subtle. I work best when and then I could say what works best for them when I use noise-canceling headphones, when I stand up during meetings, when I need to take a break, or I do better with deadlines when I can break tasks into smaller steps. Can we work out a system for that? Or I do better on my work when you give me written instructions. Whatever had worked for your child in the past they should be advocating for in college and in their workplace. And isn't that such a better way to live than the reactive mode? Oh my God, my boss is mad at me because I didn't ask for help, right? So rather than living in reaction, let's be proactive.

Upcoming Workshops and Courses

Laurie 13:45

And a pro tip here confidence grows with practice. Encourage young adults to start small and build their advocacy skills over time. That's why it's lovely if your child is younger. You can start this in the younger ages and as a teen I forgot to say the pro tip for the teen if they really struggle, they can practice with you first or with their friends. So the more they practice, the better they'll get. And confidently asking for it. If you're a parent, start having these conversations early and helping your child have these conversations early with you, their teachers, their friends in many situations, their teachers, their friends in many situations and, as we talked about last week, and even with grandparents or other people in the family. It's great to have these conversations. So if you're a teen, practice small ways to speak up. I know it can be intimidating. So important for you going forward. Communication skills are essential and if you're an adult, remember it's never too late to learn self-advocacy skills, especially if you're a young adult just starting the workforce. You want to be proactive rather than reactive, so I hope those tips and tricks were helpful.

Laurie 14:51

Next week we'll go into even more help. Of course, I really want to always be of service to you, so please email me and tell me what your biggest self-advocacy challenge is. All my information is in the show notes. I would love to hear from you. So thank you so much for listening to the Neuroquirky Nexus podcast. As always, please share with someone if you feel like it would help them. I want to reach as many people as possible and I appreciate you sharing. Also, your reviews would be very helpful, as it can reach more people that way. Please feel free to send me an email how you're feeling about the show, anything you would like to hear. All of my socials and ways to contact me are in the show notes of this episode and every episode, so I appreciate you being here. I know these skills will be helpful from youth all the way until young adults, and even for us grown adults.

Laurie 15:58

Until next time, keep it quirky. Bye-bye. One last thing. I want to jump on here real quick and just mention that I would love for you to be on the lookout. I am hosting a few workshops coming up and starting a new course, so from Battleground to Breakthrough is the name of my course. I'm also working on anger transformation and resiliency workshops that I would love to host. If you have a location that you'd love to hear me in, I would love to host that workshop in your location or online, and please join me for my course from Battleground to Breakthrough. Reach out if you'd like more information. Thank you so much. Bye-bye.