Fighting Normalcy While Fighting Cancer

Cancer doesn't only affect the person fighting it--it changes the life of the caregiver, the marriage, the routines, the plans, and even the simplest moments you once took for granted.

In this emotional episode of From Creepin 2 Preachin, I share how my husband and I are intentionally fighting to keep US in the middle of his cancer journey.  We're bringing back Friday date nights, enjoying movies at home, taking long walks together, holding hands, laughing, talking, and creating moments that remind us that cancer is part of our story--but it will not become our entire story.

To every caregiver trying to stay strong while quietly carrying fear, exhaustion, and uncertainty: How are you finding normalcy while caring for someone you love?

Are you enjoying this podcast?  Join our growing caregiver and cancer support community by subscribing, sharing your story, and tuning in every Friday at 9:00 AM for a new episode.

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:28

Welcome to From Freaking a Preach. I'm your host, Renee Alwite, a proud native Washingtonian, born and raised and still live here in the heart of DC. I spent many years of my life in this incredible city. And it's not just my home, it's where my story began and where my passion for uplifting my community, especially the youth. This podcast is a space where we can have real, raw conversations about life, faith, and purpose, all rooted in the experience of someone who has walked these very streets and understands the struggles and the beauty of life in DC. Listeners, this is season 4, episode 20. That's season 4, episode 20. We can continue with the Caregiver Diaries. I like to call this one Finding Normalcy Through Cancer with weekly date nights.

unknown 1:22

Date nights, date nights.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

Yes, yes, yes. Two weeks ago I sat in a waiting room. Just just sat there and memorizing the pattern of a carpet because it gave my mind somewhere to go. Because what if today I want to tell you about Friday nights and how my husband and I are fighting to get some of us back one date at a time. Let's recap again. Last week I talked about the weight of of the cancer, the weight it has taken most of our our life with the scans, the radiation, the chemo, the appointments, after appointments. It totally rearranged everything. Our calendars, our energy, and sometimes your identity as a couple even. Somewhere between the treatment schedules, my husband and I just stopped doing us. We became patient and caregiver first, and then everything else second. And I refused. I simply refused to let that be the whole story. Let me tell you, a few weeks ago, I made a decision. I wasn't going to wait for cancer to loosen its grip before we lived again. So I brought back something small. Friday night date night. Nothing fancy. Some weeks is take out on a couch. Some weeks is actually getting dressed and walking into a restaurant like normal people. But for two Fridays in a row now, we tr we showed up for each other, not caregiv not caregiver and not patient, but as husband and wife. It's been fun. Oh man, it's been real. Laughing until it hurts. Remember why we fell in love. So much fun. Caregiving research and countless caregiver stories say the same thing. When illness takes over, couples often lose the small rituals that made them feel like them. We reclaiming all of that. A weekly date, a morning coffee ritual, a Sunday phone call to family. That can be a lifeline. It doesn't erase what we're going through. It just reminds us that we're still you. We still us. Underneath the diagnosis. And for us, Friday Night Date night isn't about escaping cancer. It's about refusing to let cancer be the only thing we talk about. The only thing we plan around. The only thing that we define us. So we laugh more during the week because we have something to look forward to. We talk about things that aren't medical. We talk about old memories. Dumb inside jokes, dreams we still have. It's giving us a small sense of control in a season where so much feelings are out of our hands. I'm not just saying it fixes everything. There are still hard days, still scary scans, still moments of fear I don't share on this mic. But this this one hour a week is yours. Listeners. Here's what I want to know from you. This is from this is all for my creeping up preaching family. Have you ever been in a season of illness, caregiving, grief, burnout, anything where you had to fight to bring back some sense of some form of normacy back in your life or black or back in your relationship? What did you do to reclaim it? I like to hear from you. I like to know your story. I like to know your steps that you took. Drop me your story on YouTube. Send me a message. I'm on. I'm on all social media. Facebook, Instagram, you name it. I'm out there. I want to hear from you. We want to grow this community. And thank you, caregivers. And thank you for the ones who have been in contact from day one. They went all the way back to episode one, season one, episode one, where the one I talk about is just me. It's just me. Some has gone even further to purchase the book on Amazon and Barnes Noble. So they can keep up with all my twists and turns, my triumphs that I've gone through. But I want y'all to know, bring some normacy back in your life as this week grows. And we want to do that. So I want you to keep this conversation going. I'm excited to hear how you're peeling back your layers and embracing your finding normancy through cancer and your weekly date nights. I'd like to thank my producer McKinley with Moving the Motion by Matt. See you next week.