129 Can you be conflict competent and win the argument? Artwork

Conflict Owner's Manual

Yes, we are your conflict tech support. We help you improve conflict competencies you already have. Our logo is a dandelion because conflict is like a weed invading your garden. You want to know how to manage it, and keep it from spreading. In each episode, we give you one real life conflict competency you can use right away to improve your skills, which will also improve the quality of your relationships.

Dr. Deborah Sword is a specialist in conflict analysis and management. Tyson Bankert is a community facilitator and artist. We have decades of experience helping people improve their conflict competencies.

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Conflict Owner's Manual

129 Can you be conflict competent and win the argument?

March 29, 2026 • Dr. Deborah Sword, with co-host Tyson Bankert • Season 6 • Episode 129

0:00 | 5:18

Have you tried to be more conflict competent but what you tried wasn't successful? Yeah, it's frustrating to try without improving the relationship or ending the conflict.
But, was your goal to succeed in being conflict competent, or to win?
When you try to be conflict competent, you're practicing your skills. You improve, you owned your conflict; that's success. Conflict competency is a continual process of practicing better skills to not have arguments and to amicably resolve any that you do have.
You change your pattern to conflict competency and that is the success. If you feel like your attempt 'failed' it means you haven't succeeded YET. If you practice while you're calm, you can become conflict competent, even in the pressure of a conflict.

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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

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