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Raft of Bitches
A podcast about women supporting women. Like otters.
Raft of Bitches
Madison Heady - I thought, my voice really is powerful.
Madison Heady is a vibrant young woman navigating her way through life and living with a disability. Madison was born with Cerebral Palsy and spent many years learning to walk and talk. After a devastating accident, she needed to learn how to walk all over again in 2020. She describes her greatest achievement being when she created her own public speaking and advocacy business. Her inspiration began as a high school student when she noticed a divide between her and her peers.
In this special episode we are joined by both Madison and her mum to discuss navigating disability, true inclusion, and Madison's sporting career (including her silver medal win at the 2020/2021 National Athletics Championships).
You can hear more of her story, and support her advocacy efforts by checking out www.madisonheady.com. Madison's dream is now that she has her voice, she wants others to see THEY CAN TOO, just by starting a conversation.
Hi Rafters. Before this episode begins, we just want to share a content morning with you. This episode touches on some difficult topics including traumatic childbirth. If this is triggering for you, catch us back up in the next episode. Otherwise, it's a really great chat and we hope you'll get a lot out of it. As usual, this episode contains adult language and concepts.
SPEAKER_01:Female otters, bitches if you will, join hands with each other to create rafts that stop them from drifting apart and losing each other while they are asleep. Thriving women have one thing in common. They have a tight-knit circle of other women who help them get there by providing information and support. Join us each episode as we shine a light on an amazing woman, or women, and give her the platform to share her story, her passion, and the raft of bitches supporting her. And welcome to another episode of the Raft of Bitches podcast. I'm here with my co-host today, Ricky Varnes. And I have a fun fact about Ricky. Ricky has actually seen the Aurora Borealis from a plane.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, it was actually. I was flying into Norway, into the Arctic Circle, and the plane was delayed by, I don't know, like four or five hours or something like that. Which at first made me really angry, but then turned out to be a great idea because then the Borealis came out and it was perfect. Perfection. I mean, that was the whole reason I was going to the Arctic Circle was to try and see them. So I was like, oh yes, I didn't even make it yet, and I've already seen them. Done. So good. I'm here with my co-host Kate. And a fun fact about Kate is that she has gone skydiving before, and there is a video on YouTube of her.
SPEAKER_01:I think the the phrase Kate used was balling. Yeah, hysterically crying. You can search my name on YouTube with the word skydiving afterwards. And uh, it's a time, it's a time. The guy just kept shoving the camera in my face when I was clearly like on the verge of tears. And when someone asks you, like, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you having fun? And you're like, leave me alone. Um, anyway, it's quite an entertaining watch. So highly recommend. Maybe we'll drop it into the show notes. I'll watch that.
SPEAKER_05:If you want to see Kate cry.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, it's not hard, but I really I enjoyed it once the once the parachute had gone and you're just floating. That is delightful. And looking at the view, that was really nice. It was the like getting out of the plane that was hard, which is kind of key to the whole situation. But yeah, that was the bit that um I just needed a lot of information about what was going on, and the guy wasn't giving me all the information that I needed. And then there's something about physically stepping off the edge of a plane that just does not feel natural.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah. Joining us today is Madison Hetty. She is a vibrant young woman navigating her way through life and living with a disability. Madison was born with cerebral palsy and spent many years learning to walk and talk. Madison's greatest achievement was in 2016 when she created her own public speaking and advocacy business. Her inspiration began as a high school student when she noticed a divide between her and her peers. By educating them on her disability and to see past her disability, she is hoping to gain true inclusion. In addition to all of this, she was the 2023 Young West Australian of the Year, a finalist for Young Australian of the Year in 2024, and has competed at a national level in athletics, winning a silver medal in the 1500 metres. Madison, welcome.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you, and thank you for having me. It's such an honor.
SPEAKER_01:We're so excited to have you here. I believe that you have prepared a little icebreaker for us, your favorite quote.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So my favorite quote actually, it was said by Hu Jackman in one of my all-time favorite movies, and it said, he said no one ever made a difference by being like everyone else. And I just think that's so beautiful and true in every aspect because we're all different. We're all unique. Who wouldn't be you who wouldn't want to be unique? That's when we thrive together, putting all our different strengths, unique talents together. And yeah, that's my favorite all-time quote. I love that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:I actually don't have a favorite quote. I'm always impressed when people come in and they're like, oh yeah, I've got this one. And they're always great too. I'm like, ugh.
SPEAKER_01:Maybe that's uh New Year's resolution for you, even though we're nowhere near the beginning of the year. Find a favorite quote.
SPEAKER_05:So we're here on the Raft of Pictures podcast talking about rafts. Maddie, who is in your raft?
SPEAKER_00:My raft consists of a lot of people, and I'm very grateful for my raft. Obviously, my mum is my biggest supporter, and I'm so, so grateful for. And like if she didn't spot that with inside of me, I wouldn't be here today.
SPEAKER_05:That's amazing. I love that. And you're, I presume you're still in contact with, or are you just like us? Yes.
SPEAKER_00:We actually work together at the Active Foundation developing inclusive workshops and inclusive content to be able to share our knowledge with other schools, hopefully, so we can inspire them to continue creating more inclusive cultures within their communities. Amazing.
SPEAKER_05:And we should probably mention as well, speaking of your raft, we actually have your mum in here with us today. She's come along to support you. Yes. We might hear from her a little bit later.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. So, Madison, I'm really keen to hear uh a little bit more about your journey. You've had to teach yourself how to walk twice and are a long-distance runner, which completely blows my mind because I don't think I can even run 1500 meters, let alone win a silver medal in it. Can you talk us through a bit about that journey?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so I was born with a form of cerebral posy called ataxic cerebral posy, and we didn't really know what that meant. When I was born, um there had been no family members with a disability before. I was really lucky that my parents, especially my mum, was so proactive and got me into every therapy that you could imagine. There was so much going on. Um I'm very grateful for that because that has helped me to become as mobile as I am today. Fast forward twenty three years and I've now I'm now in a middle too long distance running team. I've competed at a state and national level and have achieved some incredible honours that I never thought I would be capable of living with a disability, but it really just goes to show that no matter the ability anything's possible if you have the right support, the right raft of bitches around you supporting you.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. I feel like I want to hear from Andrea now about like what her side of that journey has been like.
SPEAKER_03:Thanks, Maddie. Thanks for dobbing me in here.
SPEAKER_05:So can we ask you, Andrea, what was it like for you when you, you know, got this diagnosis, I presume, when she was still a baby? Quite young. Like when when did you find out about this and then what was the journey ahead for you?
SPEAKER_03:We had a really difficult birth. So Madison was rushed to uh PMH, which is now PCH, and she was put in an induced coma for two weeks to flush out her lungs. It's called um uh meconium asphyxiation, which means that basically um the sac that she's in was uh contaminated with her own bodily fluids and it coated her lungs. And then that stopped her breathing as she was being born. When she took her first breath, she couldn't obviously take oxygen, so she started seizing, which then means that they have to flush out their lungs. So at that point, we weren't sure if she was actually gonna make it or not. So I was separated from from her for two weeks, and my husband was going backwards and forwards to see her, and so it was a very traumatic time. And then you get released. Yeah. So they say she's fine, she's now breathing on her own, off you go. And two years later, I sort of was like, she's not talking, she's not rolling over, she's not crawling, and I was persistent in going to the nurse all the time saying, I think we need to try and figure this out because there's got to be something else going on here. After uh several months of going through specialists, they and lots of scans and physios and things like that, they uh eventually gave Madison a diagnosis of cerebral pausey. That was uh a little bit of a shock again. So we were taken aback then again and had to try and figure out what that meant. And you get a lot of doctors saying, could you ask, obviously, what does this mean? What is her life going to look like? And they can't be specific. So they can't say, you know, she won't she'll be able to do this and she'll be able to do that, because they don't really know. So they give you a worst-case scenario most of the time. Yeah. And you sort of look at that worst-case scenario and think, okay, what does that mean for the rest of her life? What does that re mean for the rest of my life? And that grief that comes with looking back on how did we get to this point? And because of the rest of her life, what is she going to miss out on? And you have to process that at the same time as still looking after a baby that's not able to talk and not able to walk, and you're trying to do sign language, and you're trying to get them to walk in a walking frame, and you're trying to do all these things so that they can be an active part of society and included in all the normal things that other children do. So daycare probably was more about social interaction than it was about me working. Yeah. Because it was more getting her used to how everyone else sounded and the games that the children played, and getting used to the children and hand the other children getting used to her. Because there's not that many children in play groups with disabilities, like a walking frame, because they're always doing physio or um OT or hydrotherapy, like there's so many therapies out there to be involved in. So it's quite a lot to take in and engage with.
SPEAKER_05:So yeah, it has been a journey. Do you mind my asking? You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but do you mind my asking what was the worst-case scenario that was painted for you?
SPEAKER_03:The worst case scenario is that was that she would never walk or talk. And that they didn't know what intellectual damage that she had. They knew there was damage uh because of the lack of oxygen. Yeah, but they couldn't exactly tell us. I guess it's like a stroke victim with the lack of oxygen that happens with a stroke victim. They can't be a hundred percent specific. And because she was a child, the sooner you get on to doing the therapies, and the more advancement that there is in those therapies, the better off they are. So if you, for example, have a stroke, it's you know, usually later on in your life. And so the capabilities of you are actually more diminished, whereas she's going from the other way. Yeah. So she's working up the physical strength and doing weights to uh and the flexibility and all those things. It doesn't always happen, but Madison was a very lucky girl that she had. Yeah. Well, thank you, Maddie. But she was also engaged in doing it all. She wanted to do it all. She has that strong personality, so a lot stronger than mine, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_01:Given what you were told about, you know, the worst case scenario that you might not be able to walk, what was it like seeing her win a silver medal in running and compete with ball?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I still my husband and I still cry a lot. So every time he watches her run and he loves watching her, but he doesn't like coming because he balls his eyes out. See, I'm gonna cry now. Um because he knows how much effort that she puts into it. And most of the time she's running against able-bodied athletes. So you see her coming in last, but it's obviously against her own time. But you see the uh strength within her, the output that she has doing it, um, how much it exhausts her because having cerebral pausy, you get fatigued a lot quicker. And you see how much energy she puts into absolutely everything she does. So, yes, sometimes it is very overwhelming, and we are like a blubbering mess.
SPEAKER_01:I think that's that's uh one of the jobs of parents, though, right? Is to be a blubbering mess when you see your child succeed.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely, definitely, because that's how you know the joy of having children, isn't it? It's when they're messy and vomiting your hair and is that the joy part?
SPEAKER_01:Um and who's in your raft, Andrea? Who supported you on the journey?
SPEAKER_03:My mum has been completely amazing. And I've got a couple of friends who have been with me the whole way. Um, one didn't have kids at the time, and she would come over and let me sleep in, and I still had the baby monitor in the room, and I could hear her going, Oh my Lord, is that what that looks like when she was changing the nappy first thing in the morning? So, yes, I've got some really great free female friends that um have been with me and holding my hand the whole way.
SPEAKER_01:I also really love that Madison said that her mum was in her raft and you're saying that your mum is in your raft. I feel like there's so much family resemblance going on here.
SPEAKER_05:Intergenerational rafting.
SPEAKER_01:I know.
SPEAKER_03:I think strong women breed strong women. And I think my mum taught me that I had to learn certain things, not just about my body, but about standing up for myself, and I'm trying to teach them to medicine uh so that hopefully she will be as independent as what I think I am. Nice. I love that.
SPEAKER_05:I just want to ask you, Maddie, about sport. So you obviously are an elite athlete at a high level. Do you think that what you have like where you've started, what you've had to do is kind of contributing to that mindset? You have to have a pretty tough mindset to be an athlete.
SPEAKER_00:Sport really does help. I guess I've developed those qualities like resilience and um determination from a really young age of Leslie, but sport just takes it to another level. And it's I guess reminding me of those strong qualities that's such a strong part of me, um, and kind of so sport allows me to nurture that to be able to rely on it in other areas and that aspect of my life.
SPEAKER_05:I like that. So you kind of take it from sport then into your business, which I want to talk a little bit about as well, because I'm so impressed that you're just like, oh yeah, I'm I'm so young, I've got my own business, I do all this amazing advocacy work.
SPEAKER_04:Like I'm like, what was I doing when I was that age? Oh no, I'm still at uni. All right.
SPEAKER_00:You know. So I guess it's been a bit of a journey. I started the idea when I was in high school and I saw a massive gap between me and my mainstream peers. Um I can remember coming from a fantastic primary school and I was with the same group of kids year after year. So as I was learning about the world, they were kind of learning about me, my disability, and learned that in fact I'm not that different to them. I may walk and talk slightly differently, but at the end of the day I still want to live my life to the fullest. When I got to high school, I guess I sort of wanted that same level of acceptance and unfortunately that wasn't my reality. I can remember this really strong memory of me going down every day at lunchtime to where my age appropriate peers was trying to catch their eye as to say I'm listening to your conversations, trying to interget my opinion, my thoughts, and it just was not working and it was because being different in high school throws you into the outcast pool and I did that at lunchtime for about three years and I went something really need to change here because I'm not okay with not feeling heard or seen and then seeing just my disability and I spoke to my friends who had other disabilities at the college I went to and I said look do you kind of feel the same way? And I was shocked at some of their responses. One of my best friends who I spoke to actually said she stopped trying because what was the point? Um and that broke my heart so deeply. So I figured being in a school setting, why not try more education? So I went to my head of unit, um, who I now work with, with Active, and I said, hey, is there any chance? This is the challenge that I'm having at the moment, and it's not just me, it's others. Is there any chance that I could educate a year group, just share my story, create some general ability awareness? And we went down to the big, big boss, my principal. And thankfully he agreed. So we set out a time and a date in a class, and during that I just shared my story, general disability awareness, and really encouraged them to just be brave people, say hi, and start the conversation. Anyway, the next sort of time frame was lunch and I saw the most beautiful thing I saw a couple of students who was just in my class go up to a few of our kids with these abilities and they literally just did what I asked. They went out and said hi and started the conversation. I got goosebumps. You could have seen the pure joy my peers with disabilities faces. That was the moment where I thought, okay, my voice really is powerful and can make a difference here.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, how powerful are sharing stories, right? I think I've got goosebumps myself. Yeah, I do. Oh, my hairs are standing up. Yeah. So, Maddie, you've won a couple of different awards. I met you through the Australian of the Year process, but you also won a young West Australian of the Year and a few other local hero and disability advocate kind of awards. What has that kind of been like?
SPEAKER_00:That's been amazing. Um, particularly that that beauway young person of the year award to get acknowledged for that award was so special. And I think that stems deeper in a sense that the people confirmed that what I do, there's a need for it. That my voice is really helping others, and that award meant that to me. Um, so yeah, unbelievably grateful.
SPEAKER_01:And you wrote a really powerful acceptance speech which you shared with us earlier. Would you like to share some of it with our listeners?
SPEAKER_00:So I basically talked about what it was like for me as a child, feeling frustrated, feeling unseen, not being able to play on the playground with my friends because mobility was hard. And I think I really wanted to make the audience feel that for a second and I guess connect why I do what I do to my why and let them feel that um and then I went on to say nobody should feel this way. Right. And everyone deserves friends and that sense of belonging and that feeling of true inclusion. I love that. Everyone needs a raft.
SPEAKER_05:So I want to ask you then, what does on the back of that, what does proper inclusion look like to you? Because that's obviously something that you're really passionate about as well. And you've been using your voice to, you know, like get people to make the first step. Because I think for a lot of people, they just don't know what to say. So they'd rather, instead of saying the wrong thing, they'd rather just say nothing at all.
SPEAKER_00:That's the whole thing, right? Before I answer that question, I just want to delve into that a little bit. Because people are in my experience too afraid to approach the conversation. They then make up their romance of what it means and what it looks like to have a disability. Now this is where there's so many negative connotations whether if you just start these conversations and talk about it, you'll nine times out of ten find out that what you were thinking and believing wasn't really true. It's like I've had stereotypes about me before and someone's talk slowly back to me because they thought that because of my speech impediment, I'm intellectually impaired, which is so frustrating. Yeah. So nine times out of ten, those stereotypes made about disability is not the individual trying to be mean. Yeah. It's just that lack of education.
SPEAKER_01:It probably comes from a place of like almost love or care, but it's just misdirected, right? Yeah. Absolutely. Asking the question. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:How do you want to, you know, how do you want to be included or absolutely, and that's why in all my speeches, I just encourage learning about disability. I encourage them to talk to those members of lived experience because we learn most from conversations from those members of the community.
SPEAKER_01:Do you have a a story or a moment where something clicked for someone in the audience or feedback that you've got from someone about the work that you've done, where there was like a half moment for them?
SPEAKER_00:I've had just one the other day, actually. I was talking at a school year 12 retrade, actually, and I had this one student in the audience who came up to me afterwards and said, thank you genuinely because everything you said connected with me because I've just found out I've got a heart condition. Um and it all made sense to me after hearing what you had to say. And that just confirmed to me that I'm not only educating about disability, but giving hope to those who need it. I even said that that presentation, you know, your raft of bitches, your friends could come later on in life. And you might not necessarily see the good in your uniqueness in that time period. But if you're patient and you embrace your dear friends, it will come with time.
SPEAKER_01:Those are goosebumps are back. Yeah. Just for for everyone playing at home. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:I think that's so true for young people though, isn't it? That's a message that is not just for, you know, people who have a disability, but also for everyone, really. Like, I think, you know, especially during adolescence, you kind of feel as though you're the weird one, or you might just be trying to pretend that you're not the weird one. But embracing your uniqueness, I think, is something that's pivotal for all of us, really. Is there a sort of ideal kind of inclusion that you see? And how far do you think we are from getting to that point?
SPEAKER_00:Well, we've come a really long way, but we've still got a really long way to go, I guess. One of my favorite quotes that my high school teacher actually said to me was inclusion only happens when you don't have to think about it. And I think that's a really powerful quote. Inclusion can look differently for many people. There's no certain way to do true inclusion. But I think ultimately what it comes down to is that individual feeling a true sense of belonging in the environment and with the people they are surrounded by.
SPEAKER_05:Amazing. Yeah, I think that's such a good way of thinking about it because that's when we'll know that we've really got to proper inclusion, right? Like you can have policies in place that will help us get there, but you want to get to a state where it just happens naturally.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So the thing I quite often say is diversity and inclusion are two very different things. People think they're the same, but they're actually two very different things. Inclusion is different types of people, different genders, different race, different disability. But as I said before, inclusion is how they're feeling. And we want to create spaces where people are feeling accepted and included for who they are as individuals.
SPEAKER_01:Where do you think your strength and utter joy for life comes from? I feel like every single time I've seen you, you're smiling. And I know that sharing your story is really hard for anyone. Where does that strength and that joy come from?
SPEAKER_00:We're always a really happy family. I guess life will be really dull and depressing if you didn't try and find the joy in it. And that's really what I try and do. I find those small moments that make me feel happy and joyful in every day. The moments like this that make me grateful. Like sharing my story that makes me feel grateful that I'm able to spread my message.
SPEAKER_05:What is the best advice that you've ever received?
SPEAKER_00:Be proud of who you are. Your uniqueness. Your uniqueness is your strength. I know definitely there's been times in my life where I've been told that, particularly by mum, where I didn't feel like I was living that in a sense where I wasn't accepting it and I just wanted to fit in. But now as I got older, I'm accepted myself and embraced it fully. When you do that, it opens up so many doors. It allows you to achieve so much. It allows you to experience events, embrace challenges, meet the most incredibly inspiring people. So now I can officially say I'm proud to be a part of the disability community and I'm proud to be uniquely me and I hope that for anyone who's listening and maybe as a little maddy in high school with a disability or with a difference that you try to find and embrace that part of yourself because it really is a strength. And you may not see that right at the moment, but when you open yourself up to that, there's a whole world of possibilities. It opens up new doors.
SPEAKER_05:That's great advice in and of itself.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. What's the next challenge for you? Where's next from here? Oh.
SPEAKER_00:I have a couple goals. I want to be able to live on my own.
SPEAKER_05:Was that kicking your brother out of the house then? Is this the next challenge? Sure.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe. Because I do love that house. I have a goal to maybe someday make it to the Paralympics. And I just want to hopefully get into more schools. Share my message to as many students as possible. And hopefully I can not only help create a more inclusive culture within our society, but to also inspire the next generation and confirm that they're going to be okay more than not okay. Yeah. That's my few challenges.
SPEAKER_05:Nice. I like that. And to do that, what do you need? Who would you need in your raft? How can our raft of pictures help you?
SPEAKER_00:I just hope that people really listen to this podcast and really take away the important key messages. Um, and hopefully they can take these messages in their stri stride for themselves. You know, be proud of who you are. Live life to the fullest. Don't be afraid of your uniqueness, um, because that's the real beauty inside of you.
SPEAKER_01:Can we ask Andrea as well what our listeners can do for you or something that you want our listeners to take away?
SPEAKER_03:I would really like for parents actually of children with disabilities to take away that having a disability doesn't mean that your children can't achieve. That they have a really special life ahead of them. And usually when people ask me about this journey, it's actually changed who I am. I'm such a better person for having Madison because it's made me think about what my values are, what my morals are, where I sit in this world, what I want out of my life, what makes me happy. And I could have been a very different person. I could have been a very selfish, um had different goals that were materialistic and not centered on true happiness. So I hope that other parents take away that it's actually really something beautiful that you can actually connect with your child about it if you really want to. So you actually spend a lot of time with them. So this is really important for those parents.
SPEAKER_01:Amazing.
SPEAKER_00:So good. And I just add something that came to me.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I feel like because this is a big part of what I also speak about is being kind and creating that kindness culture. And I think we're okay at it as a society, but we could be a whole lot better. And you often hear people say be kind because you never know what someone's going through, you never know their backstory, you never know their day-to-day challenges. And I think if we treat people with kindness, it will just be a much better world. And I think that's what we can start with because when I was back in high school going through that dark, dark period, if things were done differently and I would have been treated better, then maybe I wouldn't have gone through all those dark times. So for example, not being the girl in the dance team saying does she really need to be in her dance group? Just for people to really think before they do or before they speak really. I am so grateful for this journey because if I wasn't exposed to that, obviously it's not nice and no one should have to go through that, but I've chosen to create it, build it into a wonderful future for myself. So it worked out perfectly okay. But if I would choose one main thing, it's to be kind. Think before you do think before you speak, it will go such a long way.
SPEAKER_01:Madison, where can people find you, connect with you, and hopefully get you to speak at their events?
SPEAKER_00:So I'm at the moment just a small business. I'm trying to grow it, so any contacts would be much appreciated. I do have a website. Um it's just madnessandy.com. Go check it out, see what I offer. I promise you you won't be disappointed. And I just love every single opportunity to talk to an audience to remind them of their power in the world, even if it's something clear to it can make a huge difference.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I love that. And I do feel like you undersold yourself a little bit at the beginning there. You're not just a small business, you are the youngest Australian of the year and a finalist for the Australian of the year and a silver medalist. So go check out Madison's website. We will drop a link in the show notes. But unfortunately, once again, we are utterly out of time.
SPEAKER_05:That's right. But if you are someone who has a disability, you live with someone who has a disability, or you're passionate about helping people feel included and belonging, we'd love to hear from you. And where can people reach us? We're on Instagram at Raft Podcast, or you can email hello at raftpodcast.com.
SPEAKER_01:And for previous episodes or to find out more, don't forget to check out our website, raftpodcast.com.
SPEAKER_05:Thanks for listening, Rafters. Catch you next time.