Your nEXt Chapter with Dr. Nicole
Your nEXt Chapter podcast explores the challenges and triumphs women face as they reclaim joy, reimagine the future and redefine their identity after divorce and other unexpected life transitions.
Your nEXt Chapter with Dr. Nicole
Episode 45: Not Gon’ Cry: Why We Polish Our Pain (w/ Lynda Carmouche)
Some pain cannot be polished away with a bubble bath or a vacation. It runs deeper, beneath the masks, the makeup, and the curated perfection. It hides behind “I’m fine” and teaches us to smile even when our world is falling apart.
In this episode with Lynda Carmouche, we have an honest conversation about the hidden cost of polished pain, the pressure to appear strong while silently struggling, and the power of giving yourself permission to heal without apology. Lynda shares how high-achieving women often mask their wounds in the name of resilience, and how true healing begins when we stop performing and start telling the truth about our pain. This episode is a reminder that freedom begins with authenticity and the courage to sit in what hurts.
Song of the week: Not Gon’ Cry by Mary J. Blige
Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:02:12) Introducing our guest, Lynda Carmouche
(00:03:28) What is performative perfectionism?
(00:08:34) The root of polishing pain
(00:11:43) How childhood conditioning leads to emotional unwellness
(00:13:21) Loyalty to secrecy
(00:17:09) When polishing serves a purpose
(00:20:06) Polishing that becomes a prison
(00:22:41) Peel back the layers to find peace
(00:25:39) Check on the strong ones
(00:26:39) Authenticity starts with you
(00:29:05) Learn to sit in discomfort instead of numbing it
(00:33:01) Healing spaces are about prioritizing yourself
(00:35:45) Soul care attacks the core
(00:37:18) The difference between self-care and soul care
(00:39:22) Permission
(00:40:00) Connect with Lynda Carmouche
Key Takeaways:
"Sometimes, we lose ourselves because we call the polishing ‘success’."
“If we show up with all of our battle scars and talk openly and honestly about those, it gives other people permission to do the same.”
About Our Guest:
Lynda Carmouche is a licensed therapist, consultant, best-selling author, and unapologetic truth-teller who exposes the hidden cost of burnout and polished pain. For nearly three decades, she’s helped high achievers who seem successful yet struggle beneath the surface. Through her practice, book Polished Pain, and podcast, she inspires people to drop the mask, face burnout, and choose freedom without apology.
Connect with Lynda Carmouche:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/lyndacarmouche/
Book: https://www.lyndacarmouche.com/polishedpain
About Your Host
Dr. Nicole is a pediatrician, the owner of a successful healthcare consulting company, a riveting keynote and TEDx speaker, and the mom of two beautiful young adult daughters. From the outside, she appeared to have it all. But in 2023 she faced the most difficult challenge of her life- ending a 28-year marriage and navigating heartbreak, deception, and loss. Dr. Nicole is committed to creating a safe space where other women who have experienced a “divine disruption” can heal, recover, and THRIVE!
Connect with Dr. Nicole:
Web: https://yournextchapter.co/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/yournextchapter_co
FB:https://www.facebook.com/yournextchapter.co
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