Finding Home Healing

EP 21: How Our Clients Heal PTSD, Triple Their Businesses, and Cultivate Lasting Happiness with Lance Dewbre

• Sadie • Season 1 • Episode 21

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Ever wondered how to create lasting change in your life? How to move from struggling and suffering to thriving, excelling, and living with purpose? In my conversation with Lance Dewbre, President of the Clarity Coaching Center, we dive into real client success stories—how Lance has helped people uncover and release hidden baggage in order to cultivate the life they dream of.

With our shared unique blend of integrative psychology and ancient Hawaiian healing techniques, we discuss how facing and disrupting old patterns can catalyze profound change, leading to breakthroughs in overcoming challenges like PTSD, managing emotional and familial triggers, and achieving business success. We have the tools and techniques that help you get to the root of the problem and create lasting change.

We also explore how science and spirituality intersect in healing, offering effective methods beyond traditional therapy. From Mental and Emotional Release (MER) to the transformative practice of Ho'oponopono, this episode is packed with practical insights for anyone ready to heal from past trauma and unlock their potential.

Throughout the episode, we discuss how growth, boundaries, acceptance, and embracing change and healing as a continual process play a key role in transformation—whether it's improving relationships, understanding family dynamics, or reconnecting with your true self. Whether you're seeking to improve relationships or searching for a deeper connection to your true self, this episode equips you with the wisdom and tools to foster your own healing journey and create a life you truly love.

Today's Guest:

Lance Dewbre

Website: claritycoachingcenters.com

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Thanks for listening and be well!


Speaker 1:

I'm just going to start. We're just going to start. Here we are. This is Lance. Tell me what your inspiration is.

Speaker 2:

You know, I was just, I was just thinking today the importance, you know, of just any kind of action Like I know you and I preach, like these four requisites for change, which is totally true. You know, I use, I've been using something lately called a garden analogy. I tell my clients look, it's this simple. Let's pretend you got some dirt outside and you want to make a garden of some kind. Well, first, what do you do? We got to break up. We got to break up that old dirt. We got to release the old baggage. It's time to pull out the inner root or the deepest piece or whatever. Right Can't cut through the top. We got to plow and dig it and toss it. Cool, released, what's two? What's goal set? Why not get into action yet? Because we need to know what the heck we're doing. What are we planting, what?

Speaker 1:

are we getting in?

Speaker 2:

here. Well, is it a rose garden? Because maybe you thought of like a peach thing, or, you know, is it for the family? What is it for? What are we doing here? Okay, great, now we have an understanding. Cool Three do it it, do the action, do the thing, or whatever that is, that starts slowly progressing you towards whatever. Number four is your focus, who you want to become, why you're doing it. Well, it's to share the love with my wife, it's to provide cherries for my kids, you know, and to create that connection of something we get to share and bond together, right yeah I think I want to share with you too, specifically about action in particular.

Speaker 2:

That I just really love is that it's like talk about this PDF I was just sharing with you, right? This little PDF was just first off as a two or three pager. Congratulations. Here's the four steps to create. Change A little, a little sense on each one at the end. Congrats, here's a free call, and I was like you know that just didn't feel like enough for me. And then it turned into a four-part or five-part video series and then a 10-page pdf. And then I thought, shoot, I could use this for a speaking engagement, which is now a full 22-page booklet.

Speaker 2:

Now, right, yeah, and not just from there yeah, not necessarily was the first one the wrong one or something right, that doesn't matter. We're doing action that gets you to progress towards the goal. You know, sometimes that's, that's all we really need.

Speaker 1:

Speaking my language. I love it. It's so good. I love it when you get inspirations of like download too. It's so powerful, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So because we are having this conversation today and there's obviously people who don't know exactly what you do and we do a lot of the same stuff, but I would love for you to just share before we jump into other stuff that we're both so passionate about. Let us know who you are and what is your. Why. Why do you do what you do?

Speaker 2:

Sure. So hello everyone. My name is Lance Debris. I'm the president of the Clarity Coaching Center.

Speaker 2:

I've been doing healing and release work since my early teens with my father, who was known as an inner healing pastor, studied around 20 different modalities, including about a couple thousand hours now of integrative psychology, which, uh, you know. As you know, city is a big fan of as well. We also do some huna, ancient hawaiian healing arts and for those who don't know the real magic of this, that really blows my mind is really the step one which is releasing, because I've just never known tools that can actually help you get to the root of a problem and let it go in such a drastic way. You could actually read information back and not even feel the same anymore. So these processes, guys were built by about imagine, like 20 doctors of psychology some of them have four or five doctors each came together with the sole purpose of just trying to help people heal, which is my big why I had a lot of doctors, a lot of psychologists and counselors like I said, 20 something healing modalities to try.

Speaker 2:

Just wanted to fix me, just tired of feeling sad or depressed or angry or overreactive and like, or why can't I date the girl, you know whatever that would be like man and I know I can be more and growing up in that world, seeing a radical change of people having major forgiveness or getting over phobias or having these amazing experiences with god, just just blew my mind and, um, basically, just really, you know, refell in love with it recently. The last three or four years have done those extra 2 000 hours and, um, I just, I've just seen more and more miracles. I've seen people with 10 years of ptsd gone on a weekend who tried doctors and other things. I had another one that just tripled her business within one of our breakthrough session weekends that Sadie and I do.

Speaker 2:

And this stuff's real powerful, guys. I mean it's a, it's life changing. And you know, we we both just that's why we geek out about it, cause it's real change that happens. And you know it's just not some fake whatever stuff. No, you know tools and techniques that create real, lasting change.

Speaker 1:

You explained that so, so well and it almost like makes my body feel lit up inside, like really passionate, and it brings me back to our, like training days and just being in that energy. I feel like that's something that's so powerful and profound about what we do is. I was thinking about this actually before we were going to meet today and it really does feel like what we do is on the cutting edge of healing. It's not just like let's try to make ourselves better, let's do personal development. It's like no, this is the deep work, this is what needs to happen in order for us to go from a life that we don't like being who we don't like, having things that we necessarily don't want to have or doing things we don't want to do and shifting and changing that to a totally transformed experience of not only ourselves but of our reality and it it's not years and years and years of just talk therapy.

Speaker 1:

If that's what you want to do, that's totally cool, and I actually do do that with some people because that's necessary. But this what we do is so profound and it gets to the root of everything, Like with your analogy of the plants and the soil. It's so funny that you say that actually, because I was working with a client last week and I literally talked about that very same analogy. It was like we were all getting this download at the same time. But I'm like we have to till the soil, we have to dig it up. We have to till the soil, we have to dig it up, we have to get uncomfortable, we have to mix some crap up so that we can get dirty.

Speaker 2:

You gotta get a little dirty. You gotta get a little dirty, you know. If not, what do you expect? You gotta put some energy. You know what you put in is what you get out. So you want to just stare at the ground. You want to start, grab a shovel and know I'm going to create change in my life, purposefully, for some woo, woo, feel good, whatever. No, this is intentional work using languaging that the mind loves, from a group of people that wanted to create change, wanted to help, that studied all the best, brought the best. This is the best that exists. Guys, we're just very lucky to have found it and you are lucky to be able to hear this, that you've found people that are into this stuff, because this thing really creates. I mean, of my favorite things to do, girl, is I've had one of my clients now three breakthrough sessions. Every once in a while we'll just read back the old stuff.

Speaker 2:

We'll just laugh together like it's like I said that, like yeah, you called yourself a crazy ass bitch or whatever it is he's like man, that's rude I'm not that crazy, you know and just being able to go back, even sometimes just simple things, simple things. I think people get stuck too Like, oh, I don't have the PTSD and the major stuff, my guys, but my client still was a multimillionaire and still tripled her business. It's not like you, can you know? She still needed to release her belief that she's a she's a single mom with multiple kids. She should be able to do that.

Speaker 1:

Well, she's already here, she's already done it and she's losing herself.

Speaker 2:

And so we got to be able to work back together and she got way back on sync, reconnected to her spirituality, which is her main driving force, is what she said. And as she did, that, the business just took off because she got realigned with her values. She releases old ideas that I can't, won't, shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, no, no, I can, I will. What to do? And that created now new momentum and new movement which allowed her to hit the next level. She got congruent, her teammates got congruent.

Speaker 1:

Wow, crazy, crazy, so wild. I can't believe that that would have happened. You mean you changed your energy and your results changed. Oh wow, I'm shocked.

Speaker 2:

That's amazing though Crickle down effect, right you. You help that major one at the top. When they're clear, the other people have more clarity as well.

Speaker 1:

It's just what happens right, exactly, yeah, I have been really involved in this idea lately that we learn in our training and I think that I've like even expanded it wider to literally see. Every single thing that I have in my reality is a mirror reflection of what's inside of me, and there's there's great things and there's some less than great things.

Speaker 1:

And those are all okay, right, because in my opinion, being able to accept and unconditionally love everything that's here in the present moment is what gives us permission to then change it. If we, like we were talking about before we were recording, I've been in like a resisting pattern in some areas and if I continue to resist things then nothing's going to change. So continuing to shift into like I'm accepting of what's going on here, that shifts the external reality and what we have and the tools that we have to help people that's really what's occurring is we're helping them recognize, like peel back the layers of things that are in your unconscious mind that you didn't even know were there.

Speaker 1:

We can go back to being in utero and you felt rejected by your mother and it's like you wouldn't have ever known that that's been preventing you from success in your life. But when we go digging in that soil, we find that we pull that wound out, help it heal, release what needs to be released, change any of the beliefs or transform rather what's happening from that initial wound, and then it's kind of peachy from there. Right, you still have to take action, like you were saying earlier.

Speaker 2:

But I love what you're saying. I have a great analogy actually is with the guy that had the 10 years of PTSD. So basically, his legs got caught on fire. He lost three inches of the width of his legs. He only can walk because he was a bodybuilder basically on it with his legs. He was the leg guy in um, I think it was the navy, yeah, the navy. So you're gonna love what I'm gonna say because you're it's gonna. Well, you just said it makes so much sense. So he, because it even blew my mind. So what happened was, whenever we're doing our release work, right, we're getting, we're going back to the time that this happened and I felt I didn't feel it going and I was like, well, how do you still feel about this fire stuff? You know he's like I don't know man, you know I, because he couldn't even light a match, couldn't light a candle, like bad, bad yeah um, and then all of a sudden, I'm like go back to an earlier time.

Speaker 2:

When was the first time that you didn't like maybe feel safe or something? And all of a sudden his entire body was like shifts. He starts like tearing up this whole, like dropping happens in the room and he's like, well, there's something about. His dad did something, said something. Um, I don't remember exactly what it was, but just some way of not feeling safe is just what. I remember that word. My dad said I'm no longer safe, or I didn't feel safe with dad when I was seven and as soon as we popped that, it all went away.

Speaker 2:

Amazing. He literally got up and I was like go light a match, he goes. What do you mean? I'm like right now it's gone. Like I can see it, it's gone, dude, he goes really.

Speaker 2:

I'm like, yeah, really, he pops a match, starts tearing up. He's like I usually would run out of the room. I'm not even shaking. Then this is what really was wild. He goes.

Speaker 2:

I want you to put on a show of um of an old 1980s boxing film of this guy throwing some gas on someone. I go um, I don't, I don't know about that one. It's too much, much of a test, I don't. I mean, I'm confident, but I don't know. He goes. No, no, let's do it. I was like, well, shoot, let's do it. I ain't no pansy Shoot man. I put it up.

Speaker 2:

I was having more reaction. The dude started yawning. Wow, I was like this is a little intense for the 80s man. He's like oh yeah, I used to run out of this part. Yeah, dude, wow, like what do you mean? Like I was. You know, I was amazed too. But again, that big lesson, right, there was. Even. It wasn't the original event, it was a route from when we were kids and we had like this, you know, new dynamic or a new shift, oh, I'm no longer this, this or this, and then create a new paradigm. So when the unconscious, it doesn't understand time, is able to go back and like pop, that it's called the gestalt theory. It's just magic that happens, guys. You know the exact reasons why. I mean I, you know, I don't know if we could necessarily get into or science even exactly knows, but there is something about.

Speaker 2:

When you gain those learnings and you go behind it and you do these amazing imagination exercises where the brain like just loves, loves the order of it, like you'll feel an immense shift or a change. One of my favorite ones, too, was we worked with someone.

Speaker 2:

Remember this girl goes to the bathroom, comes back just 30 minutes real quick tool and she goes oh, you remember it was one that it was, um, our friend from austin, um, jordan, right, so, jordan, no, I haven't thought about her in a while. Anyway, she, we did a 30-minute tool and she basically goes to the bathroom, comes back and her eyes look like saucers and I was like, are you okay? Like did the tool not work? You look worse, like I'm I'm confused, and she goes no, you won't believe what just happened, lance. I go, what well? No, we're doing this like forgiveness exercise, right? I was like, yeah, she goes. Well, my ex-fiancee just called me. I haven't talked to him in years and he just randomly called to apologize. The way he treated me all those years ago, wow, you can't tell me. There ain't some kind of connection to this guys? I mean, I've seen too. I've seen too many times, two times of like that amazing whatever energetic core we have all together, you know, and some bigger eye of whatever this is a hundred percent.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, that concept for me has led me down a lot of like learning about physics and quantum theory and how string theory works and how we're all connected by potentially this like singularity idea.

Speaker 1:

I don't know, but my concept around, because we do MER, mental, emotional release, and that is the gestalt theory that you're talking about.

Speaker 1:

If anyone who's listening that doesn't know some of these like more technical terms, it's essentially the idea that your past is organized in a timeline fashion where, like you are in utero, then you're a child, then you go into teenage years and adult years and but that's all in like a quote-unquote line and whether or not you believe the actual line is real or not, your brain organizes information or can organize information in that way.

Speaker 1:

And so when we do some of our tools that we use, or the therapy, the healing therapies that we use, we have you float above that line and float back to these past, past experiences that you've had and experience that experience that you had then. Almost you don't have to experience the experience, but there's a connection that you have still to that point in time that has prevented you from being who you really are, and it's when you go back to those times and like, quote unquote, like pop the bubble I think that's what you're explaining and that PTSD client that you worked with, like you pop the bubble of whatever the belief was or the negative emotion, and that literally reconditions the entire timeline from that point to this point.

Speaker 1:

It literally reconditions the entire timeline and it makes you, in this present moment, different, in order to move on into a different version of yourself later.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely so. Well said, I know it makes me laugh when I hear this Cause. Back in the day, when I was helping my dad when I was 15, he would actually get upset and a little angry with people because they would have such a shift. They would actually forget. And I see it now by clients, Like when I go back they'll forget stuff.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, that happens to me all the time. Oh yeah, yeah, so yeah, and I do release work, yeah.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, he had no idea what was happening. He actually thought they were just randomly lying to him or something like three hours with you and you're with your dad. He's like I don't know, man, I'm not mad at dad, he's like, but you were like, is it?

Speaker 1:

all gone. Now it's like. What do you mean? Like you?

Speaker 2:

just couldn't figure, you didn't understand, and they didn't have the kind of tools. Deeper understanding, just in these last 30 years, guys, of what's going on in science has proved so much spirituality. I know there's a lot that don't maybe not up to par understanding, but what they're able to now realize is quite wild and quite spiritually accurate. So it's funny how science is coming all the way back around again.

Speaker 1:

Around the world. We used to think that we know everything. Now, potentially, some people recognize. Well, used to think that we know everything. Now, potentially, some people recognize well, we don't really know anything. And now they're coming back around to be like oh actually, our spiritual practices and our things that we've always known are actually real and we can prove them now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, oh, that's what they meant oh.

Speaker 1:

Well, I think that's in my opinion. I feel like the traditional and you can share with me what your opinion is but I feel like the traditional way that most people are indoctrinated into like helping themselves is through therapy or talk therapy, know that those are the methods to use, and I do believe that we need to have a spiritual component in order for us to like truly and genuinely heal. I feel like, as human beings, we just we have to connect to what's greater than us in order for us to recognize who we really are. And that's just how I see it through my lens, because sometimes I'll work with clients that they don't necessarily have a connection to their higher power, whatever that may be for them. Maybe it's higher self, maybe it's God, maybe it's Jesus, maybe it's Buddha, krishna, whatever. But when there's not that component to it and you're not as tuned into like energy, energy and all of that it, it doesn't prevent you from healing, but it can make your process a little bit slower. So my point in saying all of that is I do feel like the connection to what's greater than us is a really powerful component to the type of healing that we do, and we can't just have just that.

Speaker 1:

As human beings we also need to have the mental component and the actual getting into the nitty gritty, digging in the dirt type of component. Because, like me, when I would go to church, um, I would have like all these beautiful, amazing experiences but I'd still get back into old patterns. It wouldn't, like always fully boost me out of that holding pattern. But then when I would do healing work or I would try different therapy modalities, it wouldn't always stick if I didn't also have that connection to higher power. So I think that the merriment that we do in our type of work is is like the super powered version, if that makes sense. Do you agree?

Speaker 2:

I just worked with a 10 time world dance champion I'm a few months ago. He's he's the guy in West coast and country and he's brilliant in personal growth, of course. I mean he's the guy you know, probably the best teacher in the world. A lot I've had a lot of my teachers say and he was like Lance, this was like the coolest, funnest weekend. This was like a spiritual connection with like mental performance. Oh my God, no wonder you can't explain this to people. It was like a masterpiece. He was like he goes, he goes, and this is what he said. That was so great. He goes, lance.

Speaker 2:

What you guys do is you bring the best out of everything and you just like, bring in a nice slice of cake, man, I just easy to eat, easy to understand. You're taking the best of all pieces of all these modalities. Because, guys, that's what integrative psychology is Integrative, integrate, right. Integrative modalities of psychology Like it sounds all fancy but it just means like, oh, we tried a bunch of stuff, we integrated all of these tools and techniques to like what works. Okay, you know, they tried something called a swish, four or five different ways. It's just another tool or technique, right, they tried it, starting the bottom and then the top and then using hands and then visualizations Right, and they worked it.

Speaker 2:

I mean some of the main guys, guys that we work with. He manages 28,000 active clients. He has 10 doctorates, right. Dr Kuma, patrick, man, he, you know, he's the leader of this, of the board, you know. So they're bringing in all the best of the stuff that they can find and be able to actually test it, you know, not just some. Oh, I pull out a cereal box. You know, 28,000 active clients. We try on this stuff, man, you know, this stuff works, yeah. And then obviously, dr Matt, one of our mentors. He gets that feedback from him and gets to adjust it, you know. And then we get to learn from these mega dudes and give you guys what they charge a hundred thousands of dollars, you know, for you know nothing near that much.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. I remember when I first walked into my first training of like the fundamental basics of NLP, I was like this is where I need to be. This is the right place. It combines all of these different tools. They have this Hawaiian type of ancient healing thing that at the time I didn't know anything about, but I'm like this feels so good. I don't know if you have this experience, you can tell me if you do, but there's like a draw that I had a magnetism to it and I feel like clients that find me or that are drawn to me they have a similar draw, but they can't comprehend it. They don't know exactly what it is, but they're like I need that, I want that. Does that happen for you too?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would love to. I'll show you my favorite draw story in my life. There's quite a few. I've had some pretty. I've been pretty lucky seeing some of my life called mini miracles in my life pretty often. So one of my favorites, though, was those who obviously don't know my background. So my dad was known as the Western ambassador of Dallas. My family actually helped represent Dallas. We've worked with Google, twitter, carscom, bon Jovi, elton John, kevin Hart, ice Cube, porsche, a bunch of stuff. So a bunch of part of bigger events would come to Dallas. They'd come to the Western store. You give them some boots, beer, whatever cowboy hat you know, sell them on the city.

Speaker 2:

So it would have made sense to me doing that forever, that that would be my thing to do or go. Well, out of the 20 years of a lot of arguments and communication on my family, it still never felt right right. The pulling I had was opposite. I don't want to be in dallas anymore. I'm so sick of of. I want to be in nature. This is my kind of person.

Speaker 2:

I'm more about people that are holistic and healing, not so businessy. I love business. I know I run a couple companies, don't get me wrong but I just want more of a grounded person, you know from that. So I had to really stretch that and you know this business was very successful, multiple generations. Very hard to let go when you're you don't have another job. You know you've been there your whole life, so.

Speaker 2:

But I had so much of a draw and so much of a resistance that I remember going to the store I was getting like sick and nauseous and just angry and I just kept fighting it until, you know, it just got so bad and I was like I can't even. I can't even, I just want to throw up being here. You know my family made fun of me. They kind of, you know, poked at me and oh, you're so lucky and you're just spoiled in some stuff, and I thought they were right. So what did I do? Put my head back in it. Put my head back in it. Put my head back in it. Can anyone else relate? I hope so. I can shoot man Beating your head at the wall and like why won't it open? It's like it's a brick wall, it's breathing you know.

Speaker 2:

So what happened? The cool part of the story, right, is I tell my folks I'm finally done. I remember I was just told I'm done. They're like what do you mean? I'm like, I'm done as. I'm done as in sell it done. Like what are you gonna do, man? I'm like, well, I'll never forget. I said well, all I know is that this is getting in the way of me knowing what I'm supposed to do next, so I have to let it go wow, it gives me now check this out, guys.

Speaker 2:

Less than 24 hours I'm this is, people love this story in the classroom because there's such Huna fans we talk about, like you know this connection. But basically I'm at the back of a boat. We're doing a double-decker party boat hundred people, bikinis, barbecue, beer, cowboy hats, big old double-decker boat right Having a good time. Music, we're dancing and uh, I just remember, you know, maybe I've had a beer or two, something like that, right another, wow, I mean everyone else is probably pretty hard.

Speaker 2:

I'm chilling and, uh, everybody get this like this. Pooling though and the pooling was so hard it actually I'll never forget it passed my mental, because I remember I instantly turn around and I thought this core of my solar plex, I just started like walking like very straightforward, to this back of the back of this boat, and I remember hearing like what are you doing? And I say back to myself I don't know what are we doing. And then I hear, well, if you don't know, and I don't know who's, who's, what's going on, who's driving the ship, what's happening?

Speaker 1:

metaphorically and physically.

Speaker 2:

I'm telling you and all of a sudden I get a hit and I said this is holy spirit. And I jumped back to church and it was the same feeling of like this, leading this, knowing that I have something for you, like something beautiful for you, and you just need to like follow that. And, as I did, I walk up to this girl who's literally doing energy work on someone who just has her hand out, and I just look at her and I said I don't know who you are or what you're doing, but you can't lie to me because I feel stuff.

Speaker 2:

And I just felt something over here and we still laugh back because it's so awkward. We're still friends. Yeah, she just got married, she's doing so well, but yeah, so I'm like what are you doing? You know, I know, yeah, I feel energy. I pray to people a lot, I work with people. I do a lot of. You know this stuff and this background. She said, oh my god, that's so cool. I used to be a family counselor. I have a master's degree in it and you know, I barely get any results. I was like, really she goes, yeah, but ever since I found this like nlp mer, these breakthrough sessions, man, I don't just get results, I get wild results every time.

Speaker 2:

That's what you should go do wow, oh my god, full body chills and uh, as I was driving home, I remember praying to myself, I said, wow, lord, I was driving you down and I was really angry because I felt like you abandoned me. Did you just tell me what to do? Like the next day, I just just heard back, yeah and so, and then, instead of being grateful, I got pissed. I said, wow, I took you so long. You know, we stopped the drive. I started like to myself as I'm driving, like I feel like a crazy guy just talking to myself as I'm driving and I hear back in my own spiritual way. Whatever it was, however that happens, I heard back Lance, I've been waiting for you. You didn't notice. I showed up the next day. Your foot's. Never you've had one foot in, one foot out. You've never committed. You finally committed. Now I'm able to use you.

Speaker 1:

Yes, that's so good. I just just feel it. I can feel it in my core. I'm like, yeah, it's so good.

Speaker 2:

I just you know, it's such a beautiful moment of like when I chose guys, when we choose to release and let go and empty that hand. That hand is now able to receive something new, you know. But that faith there and we get mad at God or whatever, like like, oh, you're not there, oh, hey, how about, maybe it's us? You're still your dad's store. I can't use you. You're supposed to be in Colorado. I mean, I can't use you there.

Speaker 2:

You feel sick. I was going to talk to you about it. You don't want to be there. You hate it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you keep doing things that you hate. But again, right, we think sometimes oh no, you know, we got to force it and put it in the box and fit that square and the round hole or whatever. But something I love talking to my clients about is that there's a difference between breaking through a barrier and this ain't your way, it's not your path. You're on the wrong path versus no, it's time to kick some ass and work.

Speaker 2:

Dude, Give us some action right Versus this is not your girl, dude, Like that's, that's no, you know not one to date.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, oh yeah. I experienced that. I was just working with a client last week and she, bless her heart, she was in an engagement. She didn't know if this was fully her partner. It was a lot of chaos and a lot of confusion and not knowing, and I could feel some things intuitively and I was guiding her through the process of her becoming more herself and releasing what needs to get out of the way in order for her to have clarity, to make the decision. Like I'm not going to tell her like well, you need to be with this person or you don't. You're going to make a commitment to this person for the rest of your life and you'll be happy or miserable. That's not my call to make, but I was helping get things out of the way for her to listen to her own knowing and, lo and behold, she makes a decision they don't get married.

Speaker 1:

She has separated from him and now she is actually coming back home to herself Like she's way more in her feminine energy.

Speaker 1:

She's one of the top performing people in one of the fortune 500 companies in New York and is crushing that, and now she has boundaries right Before she, like, was getting run over time and time again by so much of the work and all the stress and all the people that needed her and all these different directions, and she's not setting boundaries.

Speaker 1:

She's coming back home to herself.

Speaker 1:

So, to your point, like, are you supposed to break through a barrier or are you just being shown that you're just not on the right path?

Speaker 1:

That was an example of like I'm not going to say that she was on the quote unquote wrong path, cause I do believe everything that we experience can be used for our benefit and, at the end of the day, if you're prevented from being yourself and you just can't get in the groove of that, there might be a quote unquote roadblock. That's actually a sign that says you're supposed to go this way not through, not go around, but just turn left instead of trying to keep pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, resisting, resisting, resisting, resisting. That just that doesn't help. That, in my opinion and you can tell me if this feels true for you and what you've experienced with people when you just push and you push and you push and you push, it's like you just get beaten up over and over and over again and you're just not feeling the nuances of like oh, I actually need to go in this direction instead oh, so much gosh, so much good there.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, a few things in my mind. One is I had a client like that recently too. She was married for six, seven years, you know, and she said, well, I'm thinking about, you know, breaking up with my husband and I was like, hey, man, don't point no fingers at me, you know, and that's not you know. Remember, what we're doing here is we're helping you discover yourself tangible. That's long lasting at the end of the day. Um, yeah, she had where she was one of the top uh, keller williams girls in all of texas, or something like top 100 or whatever, and she went from to nothing and she said her husband, basically, was treating her so bad that once her and her son both had covid so sick that they collapsed on the stairs and he would just like walk over him.

Speaker 2:

God, and so I remember he said well, I said look, I, I. There's no way I can tell you what to do, nor should you put the responsibility of me saying something was why you made a decision. You need to make a decision. I'm just asking you to imagine 10 years from now. Are you okay with being treated this way? If not, something has to change. If you know I want to be treated this way, you have to decide what that change is. I don't know what that is. Is it boundaries? Is it some family counseling? Does he do a breakthrough with me? I don't know. You know him, you know. And then, yeah, I mean she, right off the breakthrough session, she was like done with this loser. Whatever, you know.

Speaker 2:

I was like okay, you know, she just like it's totally different person. She's crushing it. She's seeing pictures, these hot guys she's dating. She's been doing real estate again, she's got her own place. I mean, yeah, you know she's crushing it now and yeah, you gotta. I mean, I think about behavioral flexibility. I think about there's no failure, only feedback. You know how we just look at that. No, I'm not going to fail the relationship, guys. We're here to grow and evolve. We're here to spiral up.

Speaker 2:

At the end of the day, though, let's, let's look at some actually share this with a client earlier I love talk about like a dating analogy. I was like, look, man, if you keep pulling the same type of girl, or hey, sweetheart, if you keep pulling in the same type of abusive guy, you can't keep just pointing to the guy Well, you've pulled in the same dude with 10 different names, but they'll look kind of the same and act the same and kind of be the same. It's the same story. Well, there's probably something in you that's attracting that energetically that needs to be healed. Therefore, that magnetism that happens in this quantum world detaches and no longer starts attracting that anymore, because you have surpassed that same thing too.

Speaker 2:

When we outgrow friends, guys. I'm so glad I heard this recently actually really helped me. He said, guys, as we grow and evolve especially if you're challenging yourself and you're an entrepreneur and you own multiple business and your personal growth, which we're in all that, you know, he said you're just in a few of that. We're in all that because you're going to surpass people and nothing means you're better than them. You're just going to, you're not going to click anymore. You're going to have different topics, different things. It's like if you have a kid all of a sudden and your best friend doesn't, you're not going to have that conversation. So you know it's okay for things to change, but you want to keep that spiraling up and not stick in the same place because you keep getting the same feedback Boy or girl it's you, I'm sorry, you know it's us.

Speaker 2:

It's us if this keeps happening. Now does everything in the world, you know, a frog jump past me and means I need to do something? I don't know, maybe, maybe I mean that's a lot of thinking, though Let me tell you I used to get stuck on that. It really bothered me.

Speaker 1:

I'm like well, I don't know, I was like we're on a paranoid.

Speaker 2:

I'm like I saw the snail, like is it me? I'm too slow in my, you know, no, it's too much, but you know we get the consistency or something that's definitely been repeated. Absolutely, you know, is it like time and the whole, like how you do one thing is how you do everything. Well, truth to that. I, my comfort zone and one of the things I noticed was a lot of my corporate background in selling was coming out in the dating. You know, I didn't realize so I was like pitching these girls and trying to sell myself all the time and, like you said, that was a push, though right, trying to force it and push it. I didn't even realize I was doing that. I got thousands of hours of. I even went to college for speaking guys. You know what I'm saying. I'm pretty good at it and I have a gift for it and I'm screwing up.

Speaker 2:

So you know, it's all good oh, I love that.

Speaker 1:

Isn't it sometimes so funny how, like, our greatest gifts can be our Achilles heel and, like, shoot us in the foot in some area of our life?

Speaker 2:

aim into that.

Speaker 1:

You know that's right yeah, I um on that topic of like, I used to actually see snails a lot and I had the exact same experience. I'm not even kidding, I'm not just saying that to like make it funny, but I literally had snails go through my pavement when I used to live in.

Speaker 2:

I've never haven't seen a snail in like four years. I know, I know it's so weird and I'm like man.

Speaker 1:

I wonder if these are showing me that I'm like too slow in this area or that I need to slow down.

Speaker 2:

I was like, I was like getting slow down.

Speaker 1:

Oh my God. Okay, I saw a snail. That means I need to slow down.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I definitely had to take a step back from that. I feel like that's a phase that I've gone through. I noticed people go through and they're up leveling and, you know, getting be more authentic, like all of these different keyword buzzword stuff. I feel like the key to getting through that door really is like self-awareness. And when you become so self-aware that you think that everything has something to do with a sign or it means something. You know, angel numbers. I was really into that for a really long time, like oh my God, it's 11. You know, I think that I sent you a text at one 11 and I was reminded like oh my God, you're right, I love angel numbers. Those are so cool. I do believe that those are like synchronistic and time and numbers and all that.

Speaker 1:

I'm kind of getting on a tangent here. But to your point, I feel like we don't have to take everything so literally and seriously. But on that same token, like you said I like how you said it where it's like if something's repeatingly showing itself to you over and over and over again, then that's an indication that something is going on inside of you that needs to be healed. It doesn't mean that it needs judgment. It doesn't mean it needs criticism. It doesn't mean it needs to be rejected or to be abandoned or to be hurt. It means that that part needs to be seen. It needs to be rejected or to be abandoned or to be hurt. It means that that part needs to be seen, it needs to be acknowledged and it needs to be healed.

Speaker 2:

And it's not even you.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

It's not even us guys. That's a big, huge thing that finally clicked for me. Oh, I'm not this anger, this feeling or this emotion. I mean I can't, because if I'm experiencing it and witnessing it, therefore it's a subject, objective, objective thing, right. So then, the days, as we practice that too, of pulling away and watching and not being always led by the mind, right, but being in charge, we like to say to those who don't know, like being at cause versus being in fact, well, if I'm being in cause, I'm literally choosing versus effect is like oh, it's everyone else's fault.

Speaker 2:

Everything else it's not about me. Oh no, I'm amazing. You know who wants you're on. That person, I mean, you know, doesn't ever apologize or points fingers on that. No, hey, you know I apologize. Please forgive me. Let me work on some communication. Did I not speak my boundaries? How can I help you know you feel more valuable. How can we express love to each other? Communication, guys, and like you said, and my breakthroughs are so powerful because it's it's that self-understanding of you. You guys, we gotta know about ourselves first before we can give people feedback on how to treat us hello, yeah, 100.

Speaker 1:

You need to know how you treat you, because how you treat you is how you'll train other people, whether you're aware of it or not, how they treat you, oh you know that you are at the center and the seat of power of what you are experiencing, and I do think that sometimes that message is a little bit hard to receive.

Speaker 1:

Like taking the feedback of responsibility, of like oh, it's not that I was at fault for this, but I was at cause for this. I had the ingredients necessary to create this experience or witness this, whatever, whatever. I remember very specifically Dr Kumu Matt talking about this exact principle in our training, and I mean, this was like a really long time ago, so I'm going to do my best to recapture it but he was talking about, like you know, an experience as tragic and horrible as, let's say, like a natural disaster, like a hurricane or the fires that just happened in la, or even, you know, uh abuse physical, mental yeah, those types of things.

Speaker 1:

It's not because you are a bad person or that you're, like at fault for it, and the being at cause principle is to state that not everything that you have in your reality is your fault or you're doing. However, there's a vibration or an energy or something inside of you that has allowed you to see that outside of you so that you can interpret it as data and information to then heal whatever's inside of you. That's attracting that type of experience or witnessing that type of something. Now, somebody who experienced the LA fires might be like well, f you, like I, didn't expect or want to experience all this grief and all this loss and all these different things, and I'm like, is there some part of you that needs to heal grief? Did you have a loss earlier in your life that you've never been able to let go of? And now you, your soul, created this experience for you to have like 10 times higher of a loss, so that you could process the grief that you never let yourself feel before. Like that's a possibility. I'm not saying that's everyone's case, but that's what I'm trying to get at here. When, like, we come into this life and our souls have a blueprint plan and we have different wounds that we come in with and a different pattern and way of being. The intention really is to heal ourselves, to become more of who we really are and be able to see outside of us. That's actually supposed to help you. Like witnessing something as horrible and tragic as your house burning down I know that that's hard to say. Like well, that was supposed to help me. Like f you get off my back, you know. But it's like, at the end of the day, you can shift to that type of vibration, that experience, and you can use that situation though it's a negative experience, and you can use it in a positive way to benefit you in some way. That's the powerful mindset and that's how you get through these.

Speaker 1:

Like really challenging experiences in life that you wouldn't naturally and normally think were to serve you in some way, like that happened to me with my illness in 2023. I was paralyzed over and over again. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. It was horrible in all of the senses of the term. Like it was a terrible experience and I would never wish that upon anybody, but what it did was allowed me to actually show how powerful I am to myself, not other people. I didn't really want anybody to know what was happening to me, but I could prove to myself that I have the strength and the willpower and I have all the tools to be able to heal myself, and that that's actually possible. So now I get to be like a living case study, an example of like this shit really works, guys, like it's not just a pie in the sky that we talk about, like we actually do this for and with ourselves and with our people, and when we have a congruency and a belief that this works, that's what makes it work.

Speaker 2:

So so many, so many good things there. I was actually going to say too, even seeing you now, because it's been a while since we've seen each other face to face, like you just look so much more congruent and so much color and like so much just solidness in you now, which is really neat to see thank you.

Speaker 1:

I've been working very hard on it. I think that's the thing, too, that you know, we in our culture, we want really quick things. Like we want and I am totally guilty for this Like we just want the. The millennials, I think, especially we want the instant gratification. We want the thing now, we want the quick tool, we want the five minute thing and while we do have that, we have those tools that are like boom, we can like get rid of a lifetime of trauma in 30 minutes or whatever.

Speaker 1:

Um, there's also the healing process is that it's a process we do a breakthrough session. That doesn't mean that your work is over. That doesn't mean that you're totally healed from everything in your whole life. Like, life is a continuum and you get to experience it through time and you're going to have ups and downs. I work with people for long periods of time, depending on what they're wanting to work through, because they might have like a lot of stuff on their goal list and I, without fail, over the last six to eight years, without fail, when I have witnessed people through their journey and on their path, they've got ups and downs. Everyone has those.

Speaker 1:

It's like it's not. It's not bad or wrong, for you to have ups and downs. So, like I was in a low period when I had my illness, that was a big fricking down. But now I've been on the come up and it's like great. Now, you know, I get to be on top of my mountain and I call them valleys and mountains because valleys are beautiful and mountains are beautiful. Being on the top is an amazing experience. Being down on the bottom and looking up and like the potential that you could climb up is also amazing. So we don't need to have judgment around it being good or bad, right or wrong. This is where I want to be. This is where I don't want to be. Sometimes it's helpful to evaluate and establish and determine, like, where you're at and where you want to go.

Speaker 2:

But at the end of the day, when you've got these ups and downs, like they're all valuable. In my opinion they all are, especially if you mean, well, I can tell people who want to. You know, maybe fight that or whatever and go. You know no, or you know ignore it or no, that was just bad or whatever it is. It's like okay. Well then, you basically are just then. Just do that about everything. I guess you know now what.

Speaker 2:

I mean now what? Right Now, you have no options to learn. You're just going to say you're stuck and life's all bad or whatever. Well, there's no option there now.

Speaker 2:

You know, I love what, like Tony Robbins says right, if we believe it's happening for us instead of against us. Game over, we win, right, we stick on that, like all right, cool. Well, what can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? What you know, I was thinking too I don't think you even know this about me, but my dad and I both were known as being very dyslexic adhd dysgraphia, um, other labels of things and whatnot. We had to go to special ed rooms. I even hung out with people that were had quite, quite severe issues which, you know, bothered me. Um, coming from a family that runs three companies, like, oh, you know, I'm putting these special ed rooms. My dad couldn't read till he was in his mid thirties, felt very stupid, very dumb, you know. So, yeah, is that a fun thing? Not necessarily. Is it fun that I have to study three times harder than my friends and still make it a C?

Speaker 2:

No, let me tell you that's not very fun in high school.

Speaker 1:

Is it fun to go to?

Speaker 2:

all your Saturdays you have to go to special ed places to teach you how to spell. That's not very fun. How about brain probes stuck to your head to teach you how to focus? Yeah, I did that. Well, jelly in my head. Brain probes, shit. Like, teach me how to focus. It's called a cricket game, really. This cricket would jump as I would focus. It would teach me how to use my like focus and not be so like distracting. Right, funny enough, though. I'll never forget. I did that for a couple of months now, I remember, and I went. I don't need to go back anymore, mom, she goes. What do you mean? I went, I don't know I can do it now and, like it, taught me how to you know focus.

Speaker 2:

And with that embarrassment, with that frustration, uh, well, one more I'll say to tie it together, when I really realized the benefit I had with my, with my family and you know this dyslexia stuff and everything, was this one day in college I'm flirting with this girl, thought she was cute, she wore these glasses cute nerdy girl, dark hair, uh, and I was chatting with her, I was just trying to, you know, start a conversation. So I said, hey, you know you excited for the test. You just study a lot. She's like, no, I don't need to study. I go oh, okay, that's cool, are you? Just? You're just really good to good at excel, I guess she goes yeah, that's actually. I got full-fledged scholarship because I'm so good at excel and numbers and things. I was like, oh, that's wow, that's cool. She was yeah, I've actually never had to study for a test. I go. Well, never. She goes. No, you know. My response was I said I feel bad for you. First time she ever heard that I bet.

Speaker 1:

I bet so.

Speaker 2:

And she goes what do you mean? I went, I just realized something I've had to do my whole life three times, four times, maybe five times harder than you. She goes well, that's not true. I went, you sure, you just don't even ever studied. Let me tell you, I have studied crazy hours. So oh yeah, me tell you I have studied crazy hours. So oh yeah. And then I said but you know what, when you've given up, it's probably when I've just first started yeah so much grit I have put in me, I will.

Speaker 2:

I will now annihilate. You know I'm gonna run over people now like because I've had to. I had to learn me. I had to know the embarrassment of the special classes, having to learn to study a certain way, how to do draw pictures and do funny stories, because that's how it would stick for me and I had to figure it out. And all the frustration of being angry at myself and why I can't be a normal person. And why am I so different? Why do I feel emotions so intensely? Why do my parents who's a dad, who's an amazing pastor and a healer so angry at home? Well, I look back now. Hmm, I'm now using all of this, all of it so well too.

Speaker 2:

Of these travels I did and living in Australia, new Zealand and having I was introduced into personal growth and development, how my parents had massive arguments. So I would help as a kid, like trying to talk it out, try to help figure it out. I got very emotionally intelligent. Was that fun to listen to my dad scream at me for five hours? No, it was not. When you're 15, let me tell you it is not. But you know. But what can we take from it guys. What can we learn? Gather my dad always. I mean my dad and I we're great buddies now. We just had issues back then, but we talk all the time. Yeah, lance, eat the chicken, throw in the bones man. We got to toss the bones man. Sorry, I was rough with you, lance, you got to toss the bones. Try to remember the good times that we played catch. I was so mean man, I was really hurting. I was helping everybody else, I'm not helping myself.

Speaker 1:

I know, dad, you know you didn't know man, it's all good, I see it now. Sorry for the pieces of me. I'm not seeing you as a human, blaming you right, that's what's so powerful, too, like I love your vulnerability. Thank you for for sharing that and really like letting yourself open to that, because I think it's so relatable to so many people and a lot of what I find prevents myself and other people that we work with from getting to the next level of healing themselves, being more themselves, having more of what they want, doing more of what they want, being who they want. All of that good stuff is that piece is being able to see everyone around them as other human beings, especially our parents. I feel like we have and I don't mean to say we cause I'm projecting, but I mean like in general.

Speaker 1:

I feel like a lot of people and I say this because I've worked with a lot of people that have this we like idolize our parents and think that they're supposed to be this way, that way and the other way, and that they need to be these perfect specimens of how they behave and how they act, and when we're teenagers and kids, we don't understand things and sometimes, if we don't go down the path of self-awareness and of personal development and growth and all that, we still can't get there to really understand that everyone around us is just human.

Speaker 1:

More often than not, they're doing the best they can with what they have and the tools at the time. Because I have similar stories where in my childhood, the story that my inner child took from my childhood was all of this horrible trauma that happened to me. And as I've healed and I'm able to rewrite that story, I actually genuinely believe, through what we've learned with MER and the tools that we use and just other things I've studied and the ways of being, that I believe I do genuinely believe we can rewrite those experiences, and so my childhood has now been rewritten to reflect the person that I am today.

Speaker 2:

So it makes so much sense. I think about how I, with mine, with my dad, I look back now and maybe 10 years ago I'd be like, yeah, dad's an asshole who's obsessed with money. You know, that's my childhood Always money free businesses. We never, you know, we always made jokes there's no dinner table, only business table, you know. And now I get to look back healed. My dad and I are doing business still together today. I mean, he's a master practitioner now he's gone to HUNA.

Speaker 1:

Oh, really yeah, he wants to go to trainer's training now.

Speaker 2:

This, this, next amazing. Yeah, yeah, mom did too. Mom did huna and masterprack. They both loved it. Yeah, so he's. We were already doing like gonna start doing bigger corporate stuff pretty soon, like doing breakthrough sessions for corporations like the major the major guys.

Speaker 1:

But, um, that's amazing. Yeah, no, I love that. I feel like for me, too, the first time that I did ho'oponopono in the version and the way that we do it, the forgiveness process, the Hawaiian forgiveness process. It's not like the traditional Americanized version of like I'm sorry, thank you, I love you. What was the fourth one? I forget how the American version does it Sometimes I'll do that, but the way that we do it, that we've been taught that was so profound for me, my first experience.

Speaker 1:

I can remember if I like close my eyes, I'm back in that moment and I did Ho'oponopono with my mom and my dad separately and it was so, so profound for me that I was finally able to express like this is the way that I felt. I felt hurt, I felt rejected, I felt unseen, I felt unheard, I felt abandoned. I felt all of these different crazy things. That was like chaos and just turmoil inside of me. That was reflecting in my life as an adult in my early twenties at the time, and and in my teenage years, and as I was able to like let go of holding all those grudges and be able to forgive them and forgive myself, that was really like what spurred me to be like, oh my God, this stuff is so freaking powerful. I think that forgiveness is one of the most, if not the most powerful experiences that we can do as humans, and sometimes it's the hardest. But that's just what makes it so potent and powerful is because it's not just the easiest thing that you can do, like left, right, center, it's like this is what you do in order to be able to see people for who they are and to humanize your parents instead of deify them, and recognize that you, as a soul, came into this life with specific wounds and patterns, like I was saying earlier, that are not other people's fault and they're not your fault.

Speaker 1:

Like I used to have a really strong victim mentality. That's like everyone's hurting me and everyone blah, blah, like I need attention, blah, blah. You know, and it was very annoying. I was annoyed with myself and, as I like, was able to like release a lot of those layers of like the victimhood and needing the attention and wearing the mask of dependency and having a wound of abandonment and all of that stuff. It helps me see like, oh, my parents actually feel abandoned by me at times. My parents feel rejected by me at times. They feel betrayed by me at times. So it's not just them having done it to me. They feel betrayed by me at times, so it's not just them having done it to me. There's a converse energy exchange. That's happening, and I'm not totally innocent either.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and I want to add to that guys, who's listening? Like that's why when you heal, you no longer redo the programming or the system or the thing, because you've done that. You know healing process, and then they won't even be able to do it because they'll, they'll kick into their old gear and you're just like, oh, I'm good. Oh you're like, oh well, have a nice day. And they're like, oh, I don't know what to do now, you know. And that actually really makes them rewire themselves because you're not helping them scoot down the same slope of the snow hill.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, it's like I think of it like tracks. Like I think of it like tracks. If you're driving down tracks and let's just say, for sake of example, your, your parents, are driving down the same tracks, but you're driving at each other, right, when you're on the same track of the same wound or wearing the same masks or even wounds that maybe trigger each other and I'm using this language because of a book I recently read, but it's obviously very centered around the work that we do. But if we're on the same track, when you heal, you shift to a different track, so you're not heading face on for a collision with that person in whatever way, shape or form. That that means to you. You're on a different track and that allows them to shift to a different track where you can actually just pass by each other more calmly and peacefully and it doesn't have a big chaos component to it.

Speaker 2:

I would love to add something here. I remember when my dad and I first realized what you're saying. I didn't even realize what we realized until you just said it now, basically. But I remember my dad and I came to visit me when I was living in Australia, new Zealand. I was there about a year. I was about to come home. My dad was like man, I've always wanted to come to Australia. I was like why don't you hear dad, like, why don't you do like a rebonding thing? You just come out for a few weeks, you know, and he's like all right, you know he flew out and we had, you know, some really serious heart-to-heart talks, some pretty serious arguments, you know some.

Speaker 2:

You know pretty firm yelling that came up and whatnot, and then what we ended on the end of the day was like we didn't realize how much miscommunication there was happening and we both said that we have to agree now that we both know we want the best for each other. So if there's something happening that doesn't seem to be coming across that way, it's a communication problem, not a personal issue. Massively changed it. We stop all the time now. No, you know, I love you. No.

Speaker 1:

I might listen to this.

Speaker 2:

I love you. So you being angry and doing this ain't gonna know. You know I'm gonna. I'm gonna do this, man, I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to help you on like today. I saw my dad was linkedin. Hey, man, like lance, you're getting mad, mad at me. Sorry man, I'm just frustrated, you know I'm human I'm you know I've done a bunch of work on myself.

Speaker 2:

I still, you know, have my frustrations and hey. But you know, I'm sorry, dad, I'm here to help you, man, I was just trying to help you. My bad, you know. Oh, yeah, that's right, you were right. Yeah, man, I was just trying to help. You know, I could see how it came across rude, that's my bad yeah, taking ownership and we're just cutting it so fast now. You know, used to be hours, now it's seconds right, that's the thing.

Speaker 1:

Like we cut it down, we cut, I guess, what we would call conflict or discrepancies, miscommunications, errors, like the icky feelings that we might experience when we heal those shrink and they don't. They might not always necessarily completely disappear. That's for your soul to determine if that's on your path.

Speaker 2:

Some do, some don't, some are layers, some go right away. I mean, that's a whole who knows on that, like different reasons and layers and things.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, I have found. Specifically when, like I do MER with somebody or you know, we're doing an NLP process where I'm like questioning them and I love using the Cartesian logic I know you were showing me a really amazing manual that you're coming up with and you have this like Cartesian logic of what would happen if this did happen, what would happen if this didn't happen, what wouldn't if this thing did happen, what wouldn't happen if this thing didn't happen. It's like a positive, positive, positive, negative, negative, positive, negative, negative.

Speaker 2:

Very good.

Speaker 1:

I love. I love Cartesian logic, but when we do those things, we ask ourselves those questions, we go through these processes. It will trim down our conflict or our discomfort or the things that we don't like experiencing, which gives us room and space to have more of what we would like to have, like in your relationship with your father. You have more of an experience now of what you would like to have, even if it's not perfect, even if it's not tip top, and sometimes you still push each other's buttons and frustrate each other. That happens to me and my mom and my dad and literally everybody in my life Like there's still little things here and there. That's like we're not perfect, but we're not asking for perfect. We're asking for progress so that you have more space.

Speaker 2:

Perfect doesn't exist. Perfect literally does not exist. It is completely made up. We all have different realities of what we think is beautiful and awesome. How else can we, we everyone marry each other? There's no perfect. It doesn't exist, guys, it's just like he's. I love. He said no perfect, it's all progress, it's all information coming in. You know, I love what you said too. We shorten it, we, we, you know, we trim it down. And I love you said even today too. It makes me think about like wow, lance, that's right, give yourself more grace, dude. You used to yell your dad two or three hours. Y'all used to get each other's throats. Now it's minutes, like, and if that, sometimes I don't even like I'm. The other day I was like I'm hanging up, you're up mad. Today I don't know. Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

When you're on that different track. When you're on a different track, you're like, oh, I don't engage with this behavior, so I'm going to set it aside. You're not like that's such a. That's something that I think is like oh, I just really want to like drive this point home, cause it's helped me so much. A lot of what I do with people is what's really helped me. I'm like I'm on this like self-healing journey and because I progress and I grow and I, you know, become more of myself, I want that for other people so bad, like my soul is just so driven. My why is like I want people to experience the life that they love to live. I don't know what it is, I don't know what it looks like, what it sounds like or feels like, but I want them to have that and I've continually made it for myself to have, or I've made it such that I can have it myself.

Speaker 1:

And that's the thing, like when you're on the different track, you don't need the lesson to heal that wound anymore, you've already healed it. So when it shows up in your, in your life or your reality, it's almost like it's not that you become blind to it, but you, just you. You pass it by, you say no to it. It's not like a yes, let's engage. It's like oh, I'm noticing this thing, I've already learned my lesson from that, I don't need it anymore. That happens a lot in relationships. If I work with women that are dating a certain type of guy over and over again, when they finally learn the lesson of whatever wound or whatever part of themselves that person is showing them or reflecting to them, they're like oh, light bulb, I don't need that kind of person anymore. I'm ready for something different you know the two.

Speaker 2:

That's why we could be a cause again, right? Oh, let's look inward. What can we change? What boundaries can we hold? You know, I love boundaries too. It's such a good, but you know, we could do a whole another podcast entirely on just boundaries. Man, we should. Yes, oh, that's right. One thing I wanted to mention too boundaries, one of my favorite things I learned to master practice. Well, you mentioned about, like you know, the change afterwards too. I was picturing whenever I first had a breakthrough session and everyone everyone saw a difference.

Speaker 2:

Even my mom was like oh my God, you know, you look so different and my voice I'll never forget was like really low. Like afterwards I came out hello everyone, how are you Like? Oh my gosh, lance, what happened? I was like I don't know. My voice is like low, like why I'm like I don't know. I just feel relaxed, like I don't know what happened. This is shit, I can't work, you know. And then she reread back like my original breakthrough I'm like I don't feel any of that.

Speaker 1:

Well, that is an asshole. That's fine. Like so am I, Whatever.

Speaker 2:

You know, like it was such a different reaction to like all this you know frustration I had it was just amazing, you know and two of his lives. Uh, the other day he said he had this one lady in austin who had this like massive cricket phobia, like massive, massive, like sometimes the boys would just say the word cricket, she literally would just like, shiver and like get nauseous and all that wow, one 30 minute um phobia model pattern and knocked it out. No reaction, like what kind of energy does that save a person?

Speaker 2:

or some talk therapy trying to talk out the crickets and try to figure no, let's release the cricket. You know Cricket wants to be gone, man, you know yeah cricket wants to be gone.

Speaker 1:

That should be like a slogan or a tagline for, like a clothing company Cricket wants to be gone. I love that. Well, this has been such an amazingly fun, vibrant, lively conversation and I love just jamming on things that we do and why we do it and really for the intention and purpose of helping other people who are tuned into this and listening to it. If somebody wanted to get in touch with you, where would be a good place for them to find you?

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you. My website is ClarityCoachingCenters any with an S dot com. I own the other one, but I haven't had it merged yet and that's it. It's LanceDeBrie ClarityCoachingCenterscom. You can click a free call there. I always have a free 30 minute offer for whoever finds the site. So if you want to chat, be great, and of course, this amazing city is fantastic as well. You'll have an amazing lady here, very wise, spiritually in tuned woman.

Speaker 1:

So you're in good hands. Well, I see the same in you that you see in me. Thank you, I appreciate you so much and I would obviously so love to have you on the podcast again. So thank you for being here today.

Speaker 2:

Definitely We'll do one about boundaries or something. We'll figure out a cool topic, for sure.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I love it All. Right, until next time.