#45: How To Experiment With Your Dreams (Without Fear of Failure)

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What if chasing your dream didn’t have to feel so heavy?

For a long time, I thought if I was serious about a dream, I had to make a Big Plan and then follow it perfectly. You know… map it out, get it right, make sure I really knew what I was doing before I even started.

But the truth? That pressure kept me stuck.

What finally helped me move forward was learning to treat my dreams like a series of experiments — not something I had to “nail” on the first try, but something I could explore.

In this episode, I’m sharing what it means to approach your dream with curiosity instead of fear. I’ll take you behind the scenes of one of my own early dream experiments (spoiler alert: I was a journalism major once upon a time!), and how that season taught me more about myself than any career plan ever could.

We’re talking about real-world examples, tiny low-stakes tests, and how to start gathering the kind of data that actually matters — the kind that comes from your gut, your energy, and your values.

Whether your dream is to change careers, start something creative, or finally prioritize you, this episode is here to help you take that pressure off and just try something.

Because that’s where the magic is.

3 KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE

1️⃣ Clarity comes from action — not overthinking.
You don’t have to have the whole picture. Just start with a tiny, doable step and see what happens.

2️⃣ Your dream is not a test — it’s a series of experiments.
Every result gives you data. Even the “wrong” turns show you something you didn’t know before.

3️⃣ Your inner wisdom is data, too.
When something feels off — even if it “should” be right — trust your gut. That information is gold.

🎧 If you’ve been waiting for the perfect time, the perfect plan, or the perfect confidence boost… this is your invitation to experiment.

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Transcript

Speaker 3 0:01

You're never too busy, too tired, too old, or too anything to pursue your dreams. Welcome to the Distracted Dreamer Podcast, where you'll learn how to move all those never ending distractions aside and chase your dreams with confidence.

0:22

Hello. Hello, fellow Dreamers. I'm your host Carlene, and I'm so happy to just sit down with you and have a chat today. And I wanna give you a high five for showing up here for yourself and for your dreams. So today my goal is to help you take the pressure off when it comes to those dreams, to lighten the mental load and to release you from some of those very heavy expectations. Because what if chasing a dream didn't have to be so serious, what if you didn't have to figure it all out right away? Or what if, instead of worrying about getting it right or wondering if you're going to fail, what if you just got curious? The real question here is what if your dream was an experiment? Not a test, not a one shot opportunity, just something to try, something to explore, something to learn from. And there's something so freeing about that shift because suddenly the pressure drops, the stakes don't feel so high, and you're allowed to play. So that's where we're going today into the art of experimenting with your dreams. Now, one of the biggest blocks that I see in clients with my friends and myself is this idea that you've gotta get it right on the first try. But here's the truth, dreams aren't built in a straight line. I always tell my clients like, this is not a linear journey that you're on. Dreams are discovered through motion, through taking action, and one of the most powerful frames that I've learned and one that I use all the time in my work is thinking of your dream, like a series of tiny experiments. Because an experiment, it can't fail. It only tells you something new. Now whether it turns out how you hoped or not, it still gives you information. It gives you direction and insight and even some surprises. So, instead of saying, I failed. You get to say, huh, that didn't go how I expected. I wonder why. Or, this part felt exciting and I want more of that, or, oh wow, that really drained me. Well, that's good to know. So it's like becoming a scientist in your own dream life. Let's get specific here, because this all sounds great in theory, but what does experimenting actually look like in real life? Let's say you're thinking about a career change. Maybe you've always, you've loved food and you cook a lot, and you play around in the kitchen and you come up with your own recipes and you thought it would be so cool to be a chef someday. Maybe you reach out to a friend of a friend of a friend who owns a restaurant. You grab a coffee and she invites you to help out in the kitchen on weekends. That's an experiment. Yeah, and maybe you discover that you love it and suddenly ditching your corporate job. Oh, that doesn't sound so wild. Or maybe you realize, yes, you love working with food and making it beautiful, but the restaurant world is not your thing. It's too chaotic. It's too many late nights. Okay, so maybe you have a new experiment. Maybe you try something from home or teaching others how to cook. Who knows where it's going to lead. Here's another example. Maybe your experiment is, um, that you wanna start journaling. So you try waking up 30 minutes earlier for a week to give it a shot. And maybe you learn that mornings just aren't it, like your brain is still booting up, or maybe you discover that actually you don't like journaling. So no matter how much you wanted to be the person who journals, that's a good thing to know. Or how about this, maybe your dream is to feel more connected, to find your people. You know, the ones who get you. You start a book night with someone that you kind of know, not, not a best friend, but someone you've had a few good conversations with, and you both love the same genre. You pick a book and you set a date and you see what happens. That's an experiment. Or how about this one? Maybe you have a creative or an entrepreneurial dream. Maybe you've had this idea floating around for a while. Maybe it's a workshop or a coaching offer, or maybe it's a handmade product, so you decide to test it out in a really simple way. You invite a few friends or some past clients to try a beta version for free or at a lower rate. That's an experiment, and maybe you love it. Maybe it lights you up in a way nothing else has, and you realize, oh wow, this is the thing that I've been circling around for years. Or maybe you realize it was close, but not quite right. The content was fun, but you didn't love the format, or you enjoyed like making the product, but you hated managing the logistics of getting it out the door and shipping it, that's all valuable information. That's data. And then you do another experiment, and that experiment will get you even closer. Now, none of these are all or nothing. They're just little experiments, low stakes. They're full of possibility and it's a bunch of information gathering. And the beauty is whatever you learn, it's useful. Okay. All of those examples, those are helpful and they show how experimenting can be small and doable and even a little fun. And I wanna share a story from my own life because I think sometimes the most powerful experiments are the ones we don't realize we're running until we look back on them. Now, I didn't realize it at the time, but one of my earliest dream experiments, it happened my very first year of college. I had started out as a journalism major and my mom always said I could be the next Barbara Walters. And honestly, that kinda lit me up. At first. It sounded really exciting. But then I started taking classes and I started really paying attention to the media. And what I noticed even back then was how sensationalized it all was. How every network and newspaper had its own agenda. How people who were hurting or vulnerable, they were often exploited just for a headline. And how privacy, uh, yeah, it just didn't matter. And I had this knot in my stomach that wouldn't go away. And I vividly remember I was in my apartment and my phone rang and I nervously picked it up and my dad was on the other end. And mind you, this was before cell phones when long distance calls, they were expensive. So he used to call me once a week during his lunch break from work. Every week like clockwork, and sometimes the day would change depending on my class schedule. But the ritual stayed the same for four years. So in those calls, they meant the world to me. It was just me and my dad. And oh, to this day, I hold them so close in my heart. They were my little anchor when I felt homesick or unsure of myself. And I remember telling him on that day, dad, I don't think I have the stomach for this. And I was so afraid of disappointing my parents, but you know what? They totally supported me. Yeah. I ended up switching majors and I figured it out from there. But looking back, I realized that year was one big experiment. And here's the thing. The most valuable data I got from that wasn't just what I didn't want to be. The kind of journalists that I didn't admire the work, I didn't feel proud of the real data. It came from me, from my heart, from my gut, from my values. I didn't push through. I didn't override what I knew deep down, and I am so grateful for that. And that's something I want to pass on to you. When you treat your dreams like experiments, you're going to gather all kinds of information. And not just from the world, but from your own inner wisdom. Listen to it. Because of that data, it doesn't lie. And you know what, I see this all the time with my clients too. In our very first session, our consultation, I always let people know that showing up to our sessions is essential. Absolutely. But the real work that happens in between. That's when you're out there in your real life experimenting, trying new things and learning what works for you. That's where the change happens. And one thing I'm very clear about in my work, especially with clients who have a DHD, is that we don't use the F word. There is no failure in coaching, only experimenting. Because the truth is so much of the process, especially for A DHD Brains is learning how to stop fighting yourself and start working with the way your brain actually works. So that might mean running an experiment that's really simple on the surface, but it can lead to huge shifts over time. So here's what a client might say. A client might call me and be like, Hey, I need some help managing my priorities. There's just never enough time, okay? So we start very surface level. We start trying the tools, the planners, the calendars, the reminders, all the usual suspects. But like I said, that's just surface. What really moves the needle is when we start paying attention to energy, we run an experiment. So my client will try to do certain tasks at different times of the day. My client will notice when it feels like pulling teeth and when it just flows, she'll notice and track what energizes her and what drains her. And that's data, that's information that's gold. And that experiment, it's not just about productivity, it's about the dream of living a life where you feel in control, where you have clarity and a whole lot of self-awareness. And where your life feels like it was actually designed for you, because it actually was. That's the power of experimenting. So let me ask you, what's one small experiment you could try this week? Not to prove anything, not to get it right, just to learn more about what actually works for you. Maybe it's shifting your schedule in some way. Maybe it's saying yes to something you've been curious about. Or maybe it's saying no to something that's never felt right. Whatever it is, just let it be light, let it be playful. Let it be an experiment. And if you're feeling that little tug, like, ooh, now is the time to start listening to your dreams again. I want to tell you about something that I've been dreaming up just for you. It is an online membership community called Dream Studio. It's a space designed, especially for women, 50 and better. Now, I'm not gonna check your ID at the door. Okay? That does not happen. If you're in that season of life. Where you're ready to finally put yourself and your dreams back on deck, you'll feel right at home here. This is for the women who spent all the years showing up for everyone else and are ready to start showing up for themselves. Again, it's for those of you who are craving creativity and connection and community, and to get some clarity and to have zero pressure to have it all figured out. Right now I'm building the founding member group and I am inviting you to join us. And when you do, you're gonna get early access. You're gonna get special founding member pricing that lasts a lifetime and you'll get some one-on-one coaching with me. And best of all, you'll help shape the dream studio from the ground up. Now, if that sounds like your kind of space, go ahead and hop on the wait list because you gotta be on the wait list. To be part of the founding member group. How does that sound? So the link, it's in the show notes and there's no fee to sign up or anything. Just go sign up and then you will find out when I open the doors for all the founding members. That's how simple it is. The founding members are gonna be the heart of this community, and I would really love for that to include you. For now, I am encouraging you to just trust your gut and to follow that curiosity. And keep experimenting and most of all keep dreaming. And I hope to see you inside Dream Studio real soon.

Carlene 13:41

Alright, my sweet friend Thank you so much for being here with me today. And remember your dreams. They are waiting for you and your time. It's now and I'll be back next week. Ready to welcome you to our next conversation. Oh, and one more thing. This is the legal language. You know, the stuff that the lawyers put together, and they say that I need to read this to you. So here we go. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I'm not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professionals. Got it? Good. I will see you in the next episode.