#65: How to Pivot When Life Disrupts Your Plans

Let’s face it—life happens.
Wherever you are right now, whatever kind of pivot you’re navigating—whether it’s a winter storm, a diagnosis, or a missed deadline—I want you to know this:

A pivot doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re still in motion.

In this episode, I’m sharing a personal reminder—about trees, power outages, and one family’s resilience—that helped me reframe what it really means to pivot.

We’ll walk through four simple but powerful shifts to help you stay grounded, flexible, and connected to what matters most... even when everything else feels up in the air.

3 KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:

• The pivot doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re still in motion.
• It’s not what changed that matters. It’s how you show up for it.
• Knowing how to pivot is a skill you can learn.

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Transcript

Speaker 3 0:05

You're never too busy, too tired, too old, or too anything to pursue your dreams. Welcome to the Distracted Dreamer Podcast, where you'll learn how to move all those never ending distractions aside and chase your dreams with confidence.

0:27

Hello. Hello. Welcome back to the Distracted Dreamer. I'm your host Carlene, and I just wanna recognize you for taking a few minutes to tune in and to do this one small thing for yourself today. You know, it's been a really tough winter for so many of us. I think the last number I saw was over 1 million people without power after the recent winter storm. Somehow we were spared our power flickered a couple of times and that was it. And the kids didn't lose power either. And we feel incredibly lucky. But even, even so, it was stressful. There was this low, constant hum of anxiety wondering when it would hit. And you know that old philosophical question of if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? I have to tell you the answer is yes. We heard them crashing down behind us across the street. We literally watched several trees fall into our neighbor's yard. I've never heard trees snap like that before, and as we slowly made our way back to some version of normal, it was really heartbreaking to see the trees down everywhere and to know that some people are still looking at two weeks, maybe even a month without power. So if that's you or someone you love, I am sending you so much love. And you know what? All of that got me thinking like how many plans, how many little everyday life things had to be paused or let go of because of the storm. And as I've been thinking about it, I've come to understand that it's not always about what didn't happen that should have happened. It's about the meaning we give to that moment, to the pivot that we're being asked or sometimes forced to make. And something happened just before the storm rolled in, like a couple days before the storm rolled in. Our next door neighbor, the dad, he's in his early fifties. He just survived a massive heart attack and underwent triple bypass surgery. Thankfully, he made it to the hospital in time, so we took them dinner and all their kids, they were back in town and they were juggling hospital visits and home life. And the mom, she was really grateful for not having to figure out. At least one dinner for six kids before rushing back to the hospital. And as we talked about how he was doing and what things would look like once he came home, I thought, dang, she is handling this so well. And then I thought, well, maybe it's because she's a doctor. Or maybe she's just used to intense situations, but even as she described all the pivots ahead, like moving her work schedule, driving the kids, keeping everything running, she seemed so grounded because here's the thing, he's an amazing stay at home dad, and now all those everyday things that he normally handled, someone else needs to step in and cover those while he recovers. And I can say with certainty, none of this was part of their plan. The plan was life as usual. But here's the shift that I saw so clearly in her is that you know what? Plans are just tools. Your job isn't to protect the plan. It's to protect the outcome, and in their case, the outcome to protect was the family. The life that has to keep moving even in the wake of something so hard, even when the original plan is out the window. So if you've ever had a plan totally derailed like by an illness or just burnout or any external chaos, or just the reality of life, you know, the feelings come fast. You know, that gut deep resistance because this was the plan or the temptation to push through at all costs or that private disappointment that nobody else really understands. And then what about the strange aloneness that creeps in with all of it? So then the question becomes. When life happens, how flexible are you? Can you pivot with intention like my neighbor did, without spinning out? I believe the ability to pivot is a learnable skill. It's a skill in how you talk to yourself in the middle of the shift. It's a skill in how you frame the pivot, how you give it meaning. So today I wanna offer four shifts that can help you stay grounded without getting stuck and flexible, without feeling scattered. And just like we've been saying, your job isn't to protect the plan, it's to protect the outcome. Here's what that can look like in real life. The first shift is to get radically clear on the non-negotiables. So before you react. Pause and ask, what is the real outcome I'm protecting here? In our neighbor's case, the plan was totally disrupted. Dad's recovering routines are upside down and everything is suddenly harder, but the outcome she's protecting, that the kid still feels supported, that her husband gets the care he needs, that the family keeps functioning, even if it's a little messier than before. And it's not about replicating how it used to work, it's about asking what do we really need to protect right now? Because it's not everything. So what is it that we really do need to protect right now? And when you know that you stop fighting for that old plan, that old routine, and you start building toward what still matters. Once you've anchored yourself in what truly matters, the next step is learning to let go of the version of the plan that's no longer serving you. Here's what I mean. Shift two is to release the version of the plan that was tied to your ego. So if the plan shifts and your first instinct is embarrassment, overwhelm, or panic, that's your ego, not your I. For my neighbor, this might've looked like trying to do it all, to keep up appearances, to keep working full time, to handle every detail perfectly, to not let anything fall through the cracks. But instead, she made it clear she was shift her schedule. She was letting some things drop. She wasn't pretending everything was fine. She wasn't protecting her image, she was protecting her energy. And that takes humility and it takes strength. So the next time a shift feels personal, ask yourself, am I protecting the outcome or am I protecting my ego? And once the ego has stepped aside, you can make space for calmer, more intentional decisions. Which moves us on to shift to number three, and that is to make decisions that serve you or who you are in service to or who you care for, make decisions that serve you, not your adrenaline. So when crisis hits, adrenaline wants to take the wheel, it tells you, rush. Fix it all. Explain yourself, do more. But you know what? When you slow down, you can get some clarity. And clarity builds. Trust, self-trust and calm builds credibility. I. And you know what? My neighbor, she didn't seem frantic, even though I'm sure she felt the pressure. She made choices from a place of service, not stress. She prioritized what mattered most and trusted that some things could wait. For example, she wasn't trying to make a homemade meal for her kids that night. No. She accepted what we offered, and that was a decision rooted in service, not ego or urgency. So sometimes the most powerful choice is really the simplest one, the one that says, this is what supports me. This is what supports them. And when you're not operating from adrenaline, you're finally able to see what's still possible, maybe even what's newly available. And we are on shift number four. Which is to practice identifying opportunities, not just threats. The minute we have to pivot, we go into survival mode, and we're looking for all the things that could go wrong. Our brains are wired to spot the loss. This shouldn't be happening. We didn't plan for this. Everything's gonna fall apart. But if we stay only in that story, we miss the parts that are still working or maybe even growing. So with our neighbors, the Pivot brought all their kids back home. That wasn't the plan, but what a gift to be together. The older siblings, they helped out, the neighbors showed up. And a sense of community resurfaced in the dead of winter that maybe they hadn't felt in a while, so no one would wish for this heart attack. But through it, they were reminded that they're surrounded, that they're supported, that they're not alone. Ask yourself, what does this shift give me that I didn't have before? You may find that that pivot, that detour. It holds something good. So wherever you are right now, no matter what kind of pivot you're facing, whether it's something life altering, like what our neighbors are going through, or something simpler, but still significant, maybe it's like shifting your launch timeline or taking in unexpected break from work or needing to rework childcare. Here's what I want you to know. A pivot doesn't mean failure. A pivot means you're still in motion, and sometimes the pivot is your choice. Other times it's handed to you, but once it arrives, you have a choice. You can resist it or you can move through it with intention. And so that's what these four shifts are here to help with. Again. The first shift is to get radically clear on the non-negotiable focus on those things. The second shift is to release the version of the plan tied to your ego. The third shift is to make decisions that serve you, not your adrenaline. And the fourth shift is to practice identifying opportunities, not just threats. So, you know, you don't have to pivot perfectly. You don't have to love the pivot, but you do get to protect what matters most, even when the plan falls apart. And here's the part that I want you to take with you, is after the pivot, after the dust settles, your dreams are still there. They're still waiting for you. They didn't disappear. Take a breath, recenter and keep going. Because you've got this. Thank you for being here today, and if you loved this episode, would you please click the link in the show notes and leave a quick five star review. It really does help others just like you find us here at the Distracted Dreamer. For now, please stay safe and warm until we talk again next week. Bye for now.

Carlene 12:27

Oh, and one more thing. This is the legal language. You know, the stuff that the lawyers put together, and they say that I need to read this to you. So here we go. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I'm not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professionals. Got it? Good. I will see you in the next episode.