EP: 7 - The Power of Imperfect Consistency

In this insightful episode of The Unmasking Effect, host Ike Anderson connects with Stephen A. Hart, the resilient podcaster and founder of I Am Black Success (formerly Trailblazers fm). 

Stephen candidly shares his experiences navigating significant life challenges, emphasizing the importance of consistent effort and mindset in overcoming adversity. Discover how Stephen maintains his drive and focus amidst corporate responsibilities, health hurdles, and the emotional demands of caring for family. 

This episode offers valuable perspectives on building inner strength and finding stability in an ever-changing world.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Ike Anderson: Welcome back to another episode of The Unmasking Effect. Today we have an incredible guest who embodies resilience, vulnerability, and inspiration in everything he does. Joining us is Stephen A. Hart, a dynamic podcaster marketing expert, and the founder and host of I Am Black Success, formerly Trailblazers fm.

[00:00:22] Stephen is an all around amazing guy. With a gift of for blending professional excellence with personal authenticity, and I couldn't be more excited to share his conversation with you. In this episode, Stephen opens up about some of the biggest challenges he's faced, juggling the weight of corporate responsibility while navigating health challenges and the emotional complexities of caring for his and father.

[00:00:50] We get real about the resentments, the fears, and the inner struggles that can arise in these moments, and how Stephen has worked through [00:01:00] them with courage and grace. If you've ever faced the pressure of balance and work, family and self, or if fear has ever stood up in your own way, this conversation is packed with relatable insights and actionable wisdom to help you move forward.

[00:01:18] Without further ado, let's get into it. Please join me in welcoming Stephen A. Hart to the Unmasking Effect.

[00:01:34] Again, I really appreciate you showing up today, especially knowing, you know, the physical challenges you're dealing with right now. Um, appreciate you having me. Yeah, for sure. So, Stephen, like we discussed earlier, you know, the conversation we're having is very fluid, very flowing, and it's really all about reinventing [00:02:00] yourself and like the journey that you've taken from where you started to where you are now and you know, just kind of seeing like what are or things from as, as you can.

[00:02:18] Any major, like my son calls it a canon event. Like anything that you could think of that came up for you and you had to go through a process of cleaning, clearing, reinventing, and basically creating this life that you wanted to create. Like is there anything that comes up for you? 

[00:02:45] Stephen A. Hart: That's a very interesting question.

[00:02:47] 'cause I'd tell you that I didn't have, I, I, I look at the, the journey as a husband and I look at my wife's journey growing up in the same house from, she's a year old, her parents still [00:03:00] have the same house today. Uh, my kids having that consistency. I grew up in a home where by six, seven years old, my parents split.

[00:03:09] And I was moving from home to home. I don't think I ever lived in a single home for longer than four years before I purchased this house, 

[00:03:18] uh, which we've been in for 12. Um, so I didn't have stability in, uh, where I was anchored. Um, and a lot was always fluid growing up from, from being in Jamaica. My, even through that divorce, my dad migrated to the us.

[00:03:38] I went to school in Jamaica, but almost every holiday I was in Florida. And so when you ask that question, I think the consistent theme is that I was always pivoting at some point, uh, through the personal journey. And [00:04:00] then even moving to Florida, I was just supposed to come to, uh, Florida for a summer break, hike.

[00:04:09] Ike Anderson: Yeah. 

[00:04:09] Stephen A. Hart: And in the summer, uh, a, an uncle of mine and a said uncle, one of my dad's good friends, dear friends, who is, uh, a dean at a community college, said, come, come spend a couple days with me and realized I was up to no good going back to Jamaica and said, now, stay here. And that was how I migrated. Um, finishing community college.

[00:04:39] Everything said stay in Miami, picked up and moved to Tampa. Um, and that has been a cycle through my life, through my career. Um, thinking about setbacks, Ike and, and this conversation, uh, my, my biggest [00:05:00] financial setback was losing several million dollars in. A business. I was running three weeks into my marriage back in 2008, and then several months after in 2009, having all the real estate I owned go 60% to the negative.

[00:05:22] And so in the space of a year, going from seven figure net worth to six figure debt in a new marriage of a year. 

[00:05:29] Mm-hmm. 

[00:05:30] Stephen A. Hart: That though, um, was the biggest financial setback. The setback I think, has been on my heart to talk about today is one that started in December, 2019, and I think I'm still on the journey today.

[00:05:44] Over the past five years, uh, I've had to navigate a journey that began with my dad suffering the first of two strokes in a year, um, leading up to that [00:06:00] stroke. Ike, my dad is a, a creative, uh, and I tell you that's. That's what poured into me in a different way. For him, it came through, uh, his, his talent for being a chef, um, being a creative, he's a painter, he's a writer.

[00:06:18] Uh, a florist, a designer, all the creative elements, right? Uh, he could put his hands to anything and something amazing, but poor businessmen, uh, and, and, and business owner successfully ran a business, though managed to keep the doors open for almost 40 years. Mm-hmm. But with his stroke, uh, happening right before the pandemic started, myself and my family found our ourselves, trying to keep the doors open to a business in debt, in a global pandemic in a third world country.

[00:06:55] And then, um, what was even worse, 

[00:07:00] navigating creditors in Jamaica. Uh. During that time and employees and, and just the challenges of dealing with the laws, which I left Jamaica when I was 16. I don't know, Jamaica as an adult. Um, were, were really stressful. Took a toll on me physically, mentally. I, I battled through, um, a lot of depression and anxiety in that season.

[00:07:32] And it took me out, it took out my podcast. Um, and if not for the right things happening at the right time, probably could have took, taken out my marriage and relationship, you know, with my kids. Gotcha. 

 [00:07:49] Ike Anderson: So what do you think was the main thing or.

[00:07:59] Or [00:08:00] connected to you on that depth the most, that created the most hurt or pain or anxiety or depression. Yeah. Was it the, um, there, there was 

[00:08:09] Stephen A. Hart: the, of your dad or was it, so there were a couple things. Um, and that's, that is, uh, that is something that I, I think about quite a bit. Leading up to his first stroke, I was going at 120 miles an hour all the time.

[00:08:28] Hustle and grind mindsets. Had no margins. I didn't have any space for things to break. At the same time, I'd been in my dad's ear for almost a decade, uh, trying to get him to slowly transition from service-based business to a product. More specifically, I. I mean, Ike Jamaica has sent him all over the world to represent Jamaica.

[00:08:58] He's a very talented [00:09:00] person. And for those that are listening to us that maybe are not Jamaican, um, Jamaica has, uh, one of, one of our, our staples, uh, a Jamaican Christmas rum cake, not, not your traditional, you know, fluffy white cake, right? Uh, his ability to make a rum cake was all to this world. And I fought with him tooth and nail right?

[00:09:27] To, to get a recipe for this thing. And it became an obsession to try and get it out of him. And I got to the summer, uh, of 2019 and we had a big fight, right? And I was like, this is, you know, your potential legacy play. You know, let you know the best get you and not have this, I. Come together and fought about it by about August, September.

[00:09:53] He was like, what do you need? Right? My sister, you know, sister spoke to him and [00:10:00] we got on the same page and Ike a month before a stroke, he passed through literally 24 oh visit to me here in Maryland. And he's like, you know, I've been experimenting with it. It's coming together. I mean, some of the things he was telling me, never heard of, uh, putting in a rum cake before, just knew this thing was coming together.

[00:10:21] And one minded me on my way to dropping him back to the airport. I was like, I should just have him just write down what he can right now for this recipe. And it didn't. And sure enough, three, four days before, uh, he had had a stroke, I, I literally sat down with, uh, a boss of mine at my last work event and I said, Hey, once we get through the holidays, I'm going to Jamaica.

[00:10:47] To go get his recipe out to my dad. 'cause I just feel like he's also pushing up against potentially having, you know, an episode, something happening. I could feel it. And [00:11:00] four days before Christmas, I get a call at six o'clock in the morning and it's like, you know, suffer a stroke. And that just took me, you know, mentally it was like a big setback, um, to, to realize like, hey, this, this hope, this goal, this, uh, legacy in your mind right, was likely not gonna come through and it passed.

[00:11:27] Um, and then the other side of it, Ike, because he was in debt in his business. I, and I should say this too, when I went through the, the challenge I did in 2008. I came out the other side of that promising myself, I'd never be in debt ever again to anybody. 'cause that took me out. And I, you know, thankfully my wife and I, we've been blessed to be able to [00:12:00] come to a place where we don't have debt.

[00:12:03] We save aggressively, we take care of, you know, just thinking about the future we wanna have. So we get to this place where I have creditors and I have people calling me, threatening, life, threatening family for money. Jamaica's a different place, right? I don't play with me. Give more money. Um, that took me out man.

[00:12:27] And I started to see episodes of where my blood pressure had go through the roof. I didn't even know what anxiety, I didn't know I was having a panic attack or times where thought I was having like a heart attack, feel my heart racing, driving in a car. Mm. Um, and started having panic attacks, dealing with anxiety, dealing with depression, you know, the blessing, Ike in all of that.

[00:12:55] I came back from Jamaica after the first stroke regimen and my [00:13:00] wife looked at me, um, she said, Hey, I have two appointments for you this week. One to go see your primary and one to go talk to somebody. And like, you know, the, the black man, the Caribbean mindsets, talk to somebody. Anything wrong with me.

[00:13:23] It's like arguing with her about, you know, she said, look, insurance covers you seeing a therapist. Talk to somebody. If you don't need it, you can stop. And hands zone is probably the one thing that saved me from going over the edge. In that season and helps, helps me so much. 

 [00:13:46] Ike Anderson: Yeah. I can, um,

 [00:13:52] visualize and understand what you going through. Um, especially seeing the [00:14:00] ability and the talent and as you're talking like the first thing that like pops up in my mind is, you know, like they said, the graveyard is the keeper of most, most wealth and like dead dreams that a lot of people didn't follow through on.

[00:14:17] That just went, went. And I think, you know, even just thinking back on my father, father and even though it's not even my dad, but the lineages of men, um, in that line, there's just this fear of just following through. Yeah. To like. I look past themselves and seeing three, four generations ahead, you know?

[00:14:45] Mm-hmm. And I think each generation has someone like you or me that comes in that says, there's a bigger picture here. We gotta figure it out. And if no one kind of sees it and aligns with it, it [00:15:00] becomes a fight. Mm-hmm. So I, I can understand that challenge and wanting to create that bridge of this is something that we have as a gift, as a family coming through you, and we can do something with this that can change our lives forever.

[00:15:22] Yeah. You know, um, thinking about the Marleys and, you know, people from Right. Our, yeah. So I, I, I understand that and, and I can see how that could, um, instill some level of frustration to figure out, to get past that. So as you went through this process with your dad and everything that was going on financially and with the family and with yourself, um, did you find at any point you requested in your own mortality, seeing this man that you saw as super Dad, [00:16:00] most of us do, that would never, ever get sick or never get weak and seeing them get to a point where you're actually seeing yourself?

 [00:16:10] Did you, did you experience that 

[00:16:11] Stephen A. Hart: a hundred percent even to now? Right. Um, 'cause he's, he great. I'm grateful he's still with us five years after, you know, um, almost five years now. And, um, but he's, he's still battling quite a bit, uh, physically. And when I go through those, those rounds, I spent time with him this summer visiting several doctors and, and.

[00:16:39] I realized that hey, he's only 25 years older than me. I don't have that much time right before I'm at his point in, in life and all the, uh, the health challenges. Um, I I, I've come away the summer like thinking, man, I'm, I'm eating salads. The rest of my, [00:17:00] my journey here,

[00:17:04] I've, you know, between the diabetes and, uh, the heart challenges and, you know, all the, the list of the things. And, um, and look, you know, it's not, it's not a smooth journey for me right now either. I'm at a place where, uh, I'm in the, the, the heights of upper, you know, upper management on the outskirts of executive leadership, and that's taxing.

[00:17:37] Right now on, on me mentally, physically, uh, I experience burnouts. Um, the, the weight of stress, uh, is one that I have to, to be very deliberate about managing day to day. And so when I think about what I'm doing right, even though I have big begun [00:18:00] to, uh, be more thoughtful and deliberate about my diet, about my exercise, about mindset, um, and how I approach the day-to-day, um, my actions still are yeah, at risk of putting me in, in, in this area, right?

[00:18:19] Where, uh, you have the blood pressure and, and other things that fuel, um, the heart issues, right? Uh, so, um, yeah, I, I think about that constantly. Um, 

[00:18:32] Ike Anderson: so let's talk about that a little bit because I.

[00:18:39] I would say as men or as human beings, but I can just speak about our experience as men. It's probably a little bit different. Um,

[00:18:53] taking in account, cultural background, um, family dynamics, like all of [00:19:00] it. Right. Um, how do you manage, or when you think about everything that you're carrying, how do you go through each day dealing with those things? Yeah. Again, you know, we got the family, we have the kids, the wife, um, work the challenges and the pressures from there.

[00:19:25] Um, you know, we have the challenges of the family with the parents or even with just our mindset, all of. We're grateful for everything, but it's still tough, right? Yeah. How, how do you manage on a day-to-day basis dealing with so many different weights, so to speak, that you feel provet is on your shoulder?

[00:19:51] Stephen A. Hart: That's, that's, that's that right there. Uh, in the middle of 2020, there are times where I was on [00:20:00] my back, literally can't get up. I'm paralyzed by the weights on the shoulders with everything weighing you down and going through conversations, family and, and closest of your friends would say, don't worry, just take it one, finish the rest.

[00:20:25] Take it one a day at a time. One day at a time. Like one day. Feel like a mountain sometimes, right? Mm-hmm. One day, I can't, I can't even think about all the things that you just touched on, I have a deal with today. And so I developed a mantra, simple mantra, and it says, one successful step at a time, right?

[00:20:54] Um, each day I would get up and when I would feel [00:21:00] paralyzed, I'd encourage myself, just do one thing right now. Don't worry about the whole day. Just focus on one step. 

[00:21:12] Ike Anderson: One step. And, and you can imagine that one step probably feels like 50 with the one. 

[00:21:19] Stephen A. Hart: And you know what? Once you get that one step in, not every day, sometimes you take that one step and you go back and lay on, right?

[00:21:29] Some days are like that. Yeah. But often. What would happen? You take one step and you take another, and then you get some measure of momentum not moving at the pace you were before, but you're moving. And the step is important too. When I started talking to my, my therapist about anxiety, uh, she said, Stephen, anxiety [00:22:00] is simply you projecting a future.

[00:22:03] What if scenario often is the case that it's the worst possible scenario that could play out into your present? And she said, get outside and go walk. Go touch a tree. If you are in the present. Anxiety can't coexist with that present moment. And there are many other tools and tactics she shared, but the one that's resonated with me is walking.

[00:22:41] And so I would put my kids on a bus in the mornings, uh, starting last August, as at my worst point, health wise, heaviest weight, BP through the roof. And [00:23:00] doctors were like, Hey, I need you to go see a cardiologist July of last year. And I'm like, so what do I do in the, in the gap? They're like, nothing. You have to wait for the cardiologist.

[00:23:10] Can't I see a cardiologist for three months? And I'm thinking, I'm gonna drop, drop out. Right. Talking about that mortality. Yeah, of course. And I was like, well, I'm gonna control what I can. So every morning right here, put my kids on the bus and I don't come back in the house, go and walk. Started taking care of the anxiety issues.

[00:23:32] Immediately I'd walk two, three miles in the morning, just walk, begin to release that, that tension, that stress. But guess what? It's also intimate and fasting and walking in the space of about, uh, between the beginning of August and October of last year, I lost thir almost 35 pounds. Wow. And mentally, you know, moved into a [00:24:00] different place.

[00:24:00] Ike Anderson: Yeah. What were you thinking while you were moving, while you were walking? 

[00:24:05] What were you doing during that time? 

[00:24:07] Stephen A. Hart: Gratitude practice prayer. Um, a lot of times I'm either consuming good content. I hear you gave a Les Brown reference earlier to the graveyard. Uh, I'm a big, uh, fan of the old school wisdom of your Jim Rohn, your Les Browns.

[00:24:30] And then also just consuming, you know, good content, uh, via books, audio books, good podcasts. I'm a consumer, not just a creator. And, um, I, I would try not to have my head in a text message or in the phone. If I'm using the phone, it's to change a podcast or book on tape. I'll put that thing away and then there's sometimes where I just put it in my back pocket and walk right.

[00:24:58] And actually take in what's [00:25:00] around me. The whole idea of walking is to be in the present. So those are some of the things that would happen throughout the course of a two three mile walk. 

[00:25:10] Ike Anderson: Yeah. So.

[00:25:15] Heaviness, the challenge in life ever goes away fully. Do you feel like everything is just sunshine and butterflies? Or do you feel like the work is to get to understand how to carry the weight? Because as humans we're gonna experience, 

[00:25:32] Stephen A. Hart: I think there's always something, there's always something coming at you, right?

[00:25:37] And, and life, life is like that. There's no, you just write off into the sunset and you never have another problem. Um, and, and so I think it's the lateral that you've mentioned. Um, and the, the, the goal for me, right, is to, [00:26:00] to, to remain purpose driven in, in what I do. Um, being very clear about what I put my focus energy and time into.

[00:26:13] I'm gonna share a, an a, a concept with you that also came through therapy. I would give 110%. Like I said, I was going 120 miles an hour pre covid. It's the way I'm wired. I want everything to to happen, right? And I'm going, going, going. And I don't know when to pull back. The time and energy and the focus from anything.

[00:26:39] Everybody gets the same measure of all of it. And so when I had to pause, I had nothing left for me fell out. And in the season of having to navigate, not even my own problems, the challenges of winding up my dad's [00:27:00] challenges, I was giving everybody the same focus, energy and time, including the people that I should be giving the most to.

[00:27:09] And. Uh, talking through an exercise, uh, someone said, Hey, picture a dartboard. Let me for a second. The bullseye on a dart board is that smallest area in the Santa of it. Who in your circle, in your world, should get the most focus, energy and time? What are the things and the people who, and it's not gonna be a lot, right?

[00:27:44] So for me, it's God, it's my wife, it's my picnic them right? And, and me. That's it. Mm-hmm. That's bullseye. Mm-hmm. Each layer out from the bullseye gets [00:28:00] less and less of your focus, your energy, and your time. And here's the best part of that wisdom, Ike. Not everybody hits the dartboard. 

[00:28:11] Mm.

[00:28:15] Stephen A. Hart: So you have to mentally start to process, Hey, when this thing is coming at me, this toxic coworker or boss, this family member who's driving me crazy, this thing out here that's going to take me down. Does it deserve any of your focus, energy or time? If not, you need to put a blinders on and keep it moving.

[00:28:46] Keep the focus on who the focus needs to be on 

[00:28:51] Ike Anderson: and what too. 

[00:28:52] Stephen A. Hart: And what very important. 

[00:28:54] Ike Anderson: Yeah. Because even as you saying that there's polarities with everything. There's the [00:29:00] perceived not good things, which is the chaos. Other side, the shiny objects. Yeah. Things that are like, yeah, this make a big whatever way.

[00:29:13] Mm-hmm. It's still the same process. It's not on the, it's still focusing on the who and, and the why. 

[00:29:22] Stephen A. Hart: Hundred percent. 

[00:29:23] Ike Anderson: Yeah. 

[00:29:24] Stephen A. Hart: That's powerful and thanks for sharing that. Well staff, I'll, I'll be sure to share a graphic actually creates it, uh, for that with you. That's real powerful. Yeah.  

[00:29:38] Stephen A. Hart: Yeah, 

[00:29:40] Ike Anderson: for sure.

[00:29:46] what do you think is the best piece of advice you've ever received? 

[00:29:51] Stephen A. Hart: Hmm.

[00:29:56] Others, people, other people's opinions. [00:30:00] Um, of you, of your, your work. None of your damn business, right? Um, it, it won't define you. Um, and it shouldn't lessen your value. Uh, uh, your value are the things that you know you value. Why do you think that's important for you? Man, it helped me clear a season, um, just recently.

[00:30:30] Uh, I as creates us, NI are crate us, you know, we, we think up these ideas and we bring our vision to life and in a corporate environment. I did an amazing job of doing just that, uh, about a year and a half ago, and it didn't align with the corporate vision and it took me time to process, uh, that same quote, right?

[00:30:59] Um, that's, [00:31:00] that's, that helps me kind of. Get to a place where I could clearly separate the value that I created and the meaning of, uh, this thing, this creation, this asset. Separate that from other people's thoughts around, um, what they wanted and how they viewed that piece. Right. With them, it was, Hey, you know, why is this thing not driving revenue?

[00:31:33] It was never the intent of the thing. Mm-hmm. Right. Um, that thing was intended to create value, uh, for, for the brand and, um. And so it took a while. 

[00:31:47] Ike Anderson: As an entrepreneur, everything still comes back to r oi, right? It comes back to ROI You're like branding. Yeah. That doesn't convert into dollars and cents until you get it right?

[00:31:58] Stephen A. Hart: Yeah. Yeah. But [00:32:00] brand awareness is, is so important, right? Absolutely. That visibility is key. 

[00:32:04] Ike Anderson: Yeah. 

[00:32:04] Stephen A. Hart: So they couldn't get visibility and, and, um, awareness and eventually got to a place where I was like, Hey, you know what? You can have your opinion and it's your business to run, and I can respect it. And at the same time, two things are can be true, right?

[00:32:19] Uh, it also means that I didn't create something that was bad. In fact, deliberately, uh, I attended podcast movement, uh, a couple months ago and delivered a case study on the creation. Uh, this, this thing that I created that they wanted to sunset. And I had a half dozen video agencies approaching me after about it.

[00:32:44] And so it had value, it just wasn't the right piece for the people I created it for. 

[00:32:51] Mm-hmm. 

[00:32:52] Ike Anderson: Gotcha. Who do you think you, who did you create it for? Was it for management [00:33:00] shareholders or was it for consumers? 

[00:33:02] Stephen A. Hart: No, this was, so, it was truly for us being able, so my belief is that, um, especially now as we look forward, um, we, we create these businesses and, um, especially in, in the case of like a professional services firm or, you know, training firms, um, the, the expertise within that business is truly valuable, right?

[00:33:37] So you as Ike, right, within your brand, within your business. Ike has value. Your personal brand has value, right? You have an expertise that people want to tap into, and it's great to market your business, but it's also great if we can get Ike to, [00:34:00] uh, share his expertise with the audience that he's trying to serve.

[00:34:07] Mm-hmm. The idea of personal branding is marrying your reputation and expertise to, uh, the, the action of gaining visibility. The more visibility you gain, the more you're perceived value and personal brand. Absolutely. And so the idea for me with the content I create is how do I, uh, bring value to the community, to the audience we're looking to serve to, while at the same time.

[00:34:43] Elevating the visibility of the experts, uh, within our, our business, understanding that as I elevate their personal brand, there's a halo effect that will follow and assist our [00:35:00] business. 

[00:35:00] Mm-hmm. 

[00:35:01] Stephen A. Hart: And so all three things are, there's a win win-win scenario happening where we're serving up value. We're not just promoting buy, buy, buy, we're remaining top of mind.

[00:35:14] We're pro providing value to a community that we know at some point, we'll, when, when ready to purchase, we're gonna be the first person they think of. We're helping or, or experts gain visibility and move from somebody that was just known in the four corners of their employer or business, to now being having global impact.

[00:35:39] And we're helping that business achieve their business goals over time. 

[00:35:43] Ike Anderson: Yeah. So some of those are clear KPIs or clear, clear objectives. 

[00:35:49] Stephen A. Hart: It's, and it, it is a long, you know, for me, I believe that you have short term initiatives in content marketing. You a big portion of content marketing is a long tail play.[00:36:00] 

[00:36:03] Stephen A. Hart: And I, I've been able to, to show that in podcasting what's happened over like four years, five years. 

[00:36:11] Ike Anderson: Yeah. So one of the things that I hear you say is consistency. It is, is, is, it is paramount. That's key. It is key, yeah. So what do you think is, like, I hear some of the things that we've discussed so far around, you know, the parents, the, the work, the family, personal self, like.

[00:36:38] Say one or two things that you've learned about yourself

[00:36:48] Stephen A. Hart: in this journey. Um, so I think I shared this on, on social maybe even last week. Um, [00:37:00] uh, it, it was told to me by a good friend, um, Karen Allen. Uh, everything is for your good or for your growth. Uh, with all that I shared as I was going through this, this challenging personal valley season, it forced me to, to park my podcast, which you've been a guest, uh, with trailblazers.

[00:37:26] IFM went four and a half years. Uh, publishing an episode every Monday morning at 5:00 AM Never without fail. And my dad's first stroke paused. It went off for eight months offline for eight months. Came back to it in the fall. By Christmas of the next year, my dad had another stroke and I was like, you know what?

[00:37:48] And now he's with me. He wasn't in Jamaica anymore. Literally 10 feet from me on the other side of this camera, uh, recovering from a stroke and I realized I couldn't do this anymore. [00:38:00]  

[00:38:00] Mm-hmm. 

[00:38:02] Stephen A. Hart: And while I made the decision to pause on the podcast, I said, you know, I still love creating. Could I turn this camera on and just have conversations over livestream?

[00:38:15] I stream was just taken off at the time, and I could turn on his camera. The room is dark with key lights right here. So the other side of the room, my dad's in a bed sleeping, turn on the camera. Eight o'clock every morning, kids are gone. Turn on live. And then I was bad. I. I was so bad when I started, I, I, I went through probably even into the third or fourth week of doing lives.

[00:38:45] Somebody would pop in like three minutes in and say, I don't know if it's my end, but I'm not hearing anything you're saying.

[00:38:55] And I looked down and I said, on mute. And it's like, you know what? Lemme just, lemme just turn this on.[00:39:00] 

[00:39:04] And I, 

[00:39:04] you know, in that, in that season, uh, you know, another thing that came up, I said, you know what? I'm gonna be okay with it being bad until it gets good. And that's, that's a word for everyone listening, right? We don't start off being good. You have to be okay. Be comfortable with being bad until things get good and good.

[00:39:32] They did, because. I said to my close circle of friends, I said, watch me. I'm gonna keep hitting play, keep hitting, go live till LinkedIn sees me. That was 2021, beginning of 2021. My employer saw what I was doing was like, can you do that for us too? I did probably 400 lives in 2021 between [00:40:00] personal and business, and people started calling me the livestream machine and don't, you know, the end of the year came and LinkedIn, uh, accepted me as one of the first 100 people into their very first LinkedIn Creator Accelerator program.

[00:40:17] Paid me 25 grand, uh, poured into me for 10 weeks and positioned me as somebody on LinkedIn. You need to know, and it all came right after. Saying, you know what, I'm gonna keep hitting Go live. 

[00:40:36] Ike Anderson: Consistency, man. 

[00:40:38] Stephen A. Hart: Exactly, exactly. 

[00:40:39] That 

[00:40:39] Ike Anderson: Imperfect, like imperfect consistency. Yep. Just being consistent bad till it gets good following through 

[00:40:48] That's powerful, man. Like, all of these are soundbites, bro.

[00:40:55] Yeah, that's that's, that's good stuff, man. Um, [00:41:00] yeah. Um, I think one of the things, you know, again, things happen, but I think we're all just getting prepared for the next thing. Always. Yeah. And it's, I guess 80% of winning is just showing up.

[00:41:25] So showing up. So congrats man. And, and that just speaks volume of who you're, and um, 

 [00:41:31] Stephen A. Hart: you know, I heard it said this morning on my drive, I dropped it off my son this morning and I heard Kenny, the Jet say, um, something to the effect of, you know, a champion isn't somebody who does something extraordinary, it's just somebody who keeps taking the shots.

[00:41:50] Right. Keeps showing up to your point of consistency. And he says, the champion isn't extraordinary. The champion is somebody who does the ordinary extra. [00:42:00] Mm-hmm. Right. They just keep doing it every single day, doing it, doing it, doing it, you know? Yeah. Keep taking baths, right?

[00:42:08] Ike Anderson: Yeah. So with that though, what would you say to someone that's watching right now or listening and they're in the middle of their own personal hurricane and.

[00:42:22] And that deep, dark place of anxiety, fear, frustration, like you name it. Um, and they're listening right now. Like what, what, what piece of advice would you give them based on just your awareness and your own journey 

[00:42:42] Stephen A. Hart: as a believer? Um, Philippians four, six to go through like eight or nine, um, is important, right?

[00:42:55] To me. Um, do not worry about anything. [00:43:00] Pray about everything. Um, you know, ask God for what you need and just, you know, trust, right? Um, and that actually, I believe eight speaks to exactly what the, the fear and the worry and the anxiety parts too. Um. What I touched on earlier is important. Take it one successful step at a time.

[00:43:32] Just take one step. If you're in the heights of anxiety and depression, consider talking to someone. Consider therapy. Uh, I think just as we would prioritize going to see a doctor about our health, a therapist is just the same, right? They're just helping you [00:44:00] to organize your thoughts, to provide you the right tools to make sure that your mind is functioning as it should.

[00:44:08] Doesn't mean you're crazy, doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. And, uh, and that for me has been, uh, a cheat code to, to be able to. Frame how I need my mind, uh, to, to, to be positioned, to be able to chase after these goals and dreams. I'm purpose driven in the things I do. I'm a big believer in having a very clear vision for my life 

[00:44:40] It's what got me up. Offered a coach in that eight month, uh, hiatus from the podcast because I had, uh, uh, listened to, uh, Jim Collins. Good to great. I'm a big believer in creating your big, hairy, audacious goals. Goals that you know you [00:45:00] can't accomplish just this year. Come and take your 10 and they're, they're really big.

[00:45:08] Think about what you want for your life. Plant a destination that you want to get to. And just like if I was to say, you know what, I'm gonna drive from Maryland to, to come check you in Palm Beach. When I put your address in, in Google Maps, it might take, tell me right now, it's gonna take me 17 hours to get down to you.

[00:45:33] And somewhere in this journey, I don't know where, like somewhere in nine five, what gonna happen? Gonna hit a accident, right? And hits a detour. If you don't have a c clear, uh, written documents, paper, right? Could be in your note taken app, could be in your journal. But if you don't get those [00:46:00] ideas, I would say ahead and down on people and have clarity around that destination that you're trying to tell your life that we are moving toward when you approach that accident.

[00:46:13] You go to the turnaround and drive right back home 

[00:46:16] mm-hmm. 

[00:46:17] Stephen A. Hart: And get stuck doing loops and not getting anywhere in life. So you are gonna take one successful step at a time towards a particular destination. And guess what? It might take you 25 hours. You may not get there in 17, but you can get there. Right?

[00:46:44] You can get there. So, um, be, be mindful about the things that you want to accomplish. And when I say goals, I'll end on this. Um, in, in [00:47:00] my season, when I lost in 2008, when I lost my, my business, my sole goal was to become a millionaire by the time I turned 30. It was purely materialistic and I achieved the goal for a few months and I lost everything.

[00:47:23] And when I lost everything, I had to reframe my mindset then as to what was gonna be important. Right? Money will come and go. The things will come and go. What's gonna be there? Right? That is gonna mean something. That's gonna have significance and impact when we are gone. And so give thought to that. When you're framing your goals, it's not just about you.

[00:47:47] It's not just about the house and the car and the money and the things. How will your life matter? How will things be different because you were here? [00:48:00] Give thought to that. Mm-hmm. And prioritize that in, in what you do. 

[00:48:08] Ike Anderson: Amazing. Good points life changing perspectives. What's next for you, Stephen? Um, is there any other reinvention on your horizon right now? 

[00:48:21] Stephen A. Hart: Probably the biggest. The biggest is yet to come. I am, I'm giving birth to something right now as we talk. I can, I can't even articulate it yet. Uh, but, um, I will say this, uh,

[00:48:42] I have, I'm, I'm very big on ai. I've been very involved with ai. As, as you know, I'm a marketer marketing leader. And so at intersect of both, uh, I've been, and especially in working for, uh, [00:49:00] uh, you know, in a corporation, I'm able to see kinda what the next three to five years might bring. Somewhat scary in some senses and in other, you know, perspective and view.

[00:49:15] It could be a big opportunity. Um, but one thing is clear, I think that for those of us who are working professionals, we have to get out of the mindset of, um, putting all our eggs in one basket. And I grew up in Jamaica, in country. You see people just put, you know, and cook food on a one pot cold stove, right?

[00:49:45] And I, I think that's what we do as corporate employees, right? We have everything under one pot. And if that coal goes out, right, if you get laid off from your [00:50:00] job, you, you are immediately in a financial, unstable place. Why, why do we invest and diversify? Uh, we've never put all our retirement savings into one stock, but we do it for income.

[00:50:20] And, and so a big next mission from for me right now is to marry all the things that I've been doing and to really create a movement for helping people, helping working professionals begin the process of, um, creating a, a, a platform that allows them to have, to build what I call a five burner cooktop, right?

[00:50:52] Mm-hmm. Where I'm not telling you to quit your, your nine to five. The nine to five becomes what still sits on the big burner, [00:51:00] but we can start creating some other burns that you can turn on and off as you want. It provides you some additional security, uh, some additional legs to the chair. Uh, God forbid you're to be laid off, you can turn it on and provide some income to carry through to the other side and, or allows you to save and pay off debts and leave that legacy for the future.

[00:51:27] So that's the next chapter. 

[00:51:31] Ike Anderson: Yeah, that sounds, uh, pretty much aligned with who I know you to be as a creator and as someone who is also looking to help and serve others as well. So hats off. Appreciate you, Bridget. Great conversation man. Yeah, man. I really appreciate you being on here today, man. And you know, um, like I said, when I thought about you as a guest, like, um, I know there's so much wisdom and um, [00:52:00] life experience that.

[00:52:02] You would able to share and other people would be able to get from it, and we all get from it. So, um, we still gotta chop wood and carry water, but we still have to, uh, serve others in the process as well. So I think we share that journey in common. 

[00:52:24] Stephen A. Hart: A hundred percent. 

[00:52:25] Ike Anderson: Yeah, man. 

[00:52:25] Stephen A. Hart: But I appreciate you being on that.

[00:52:27] Well, I'm, I'm grateful this was a good conversation. Always helps sometimes when you listen to yourself, talk to, helps you to put some things in perspective. Mm-hmm. I brought up some things today I hadn't thought about in a while. 

[00:52:38] Ike Anderson: Mm-hmm. 

[00:52:40] Stephen A. Hart: Uh, so it was good for me to kind of hear 

[00:52:42] Ike Anderson: Yeah. 

[00:52:43] Stephen A. Hart: Some of that 

[00:52:43] Ike Anderson: well,

[00:52:43] well, speaking of that though if you got a few more minutes, i just wanted to ask you um if you were to have a conversation

[00:53:00] Seven year old version of Stephen what's one piece of advice? What, what's one message you would give him? Whispering to his ear

[00:53:16] Stephen A. Hart: uh, get that recipe from dad now.

[00:53:38] Ike Anderson: Okay. Gotcha.

[00:53:55] You couldn't script that one. Not at all. [00:54:00] Um, and on that same tip, if you were to ask one question from the nine to 5-year-old version of Stephen who's been through this journey and gotten to a place of understanding, learning, integration, wisdom, what's one question you would ask him?

[00:54:27] Stephen A. Hart: What, um,

[00:54:32] what skills or talents. That you've developed are transferable to other things you could do. And, and by that it took me a while to, to, to, to start thinking about this. And I want everybody listening to the son of my voice to, to start thinking about this right now. Um, we dismiss the things we do day to day [00:55:00] that we know to do.

[00:55:03] So I know to create a podcast, it's intuitive to me. I could do it in my sleep and I dismiss all the different things that we must do to create a podcast for somebody brand new that's never created a podcast before. To them, the idea of dealing with a Buzz Pro or a lipsy is like, I had no idea. I just dismiss it.

[00:55:30] As something I know to do. I don't look at it as a skill and a talent and something I know there is value in asking yourself what inventory of skills, talents, knowledge do I have that others would find value in? Because those are the things that provide you an opportunity to frame in a different way [00:56:00] and generate additional income beyond your nine to five.

[00:56:04] Hmm. 

[00:56:07] Ike Anderson: So you would ask your nine to 5-year-old version what Talents and gifts. Gifts as he created 

[00:56:17] Stephen A. Hart: 95-year-old Stephen. Yes. Yes. Ah, I was thinking of nine to five. Um, 95-year-old Stephen. Woo. Ike.

[00:56:34] Um, I imagine I'm gonna get to 95 and look back and I'm gonna think, I'm gonna ask the question of all the things, what really mattered the most, right? Uh, because I feel like you're gonna cut away 99% of fluff and it's gonna [00:57:00] come clear to you what, what impact, what significance, what mattered the most in the time that you had.

[00:57:10] And it's often the thing that, you know, you hear older people reference to. And I'm pretty sure that, um, I'm gonna find myself there and, and we have positioned my, my vision statement and my goals. It's with that view in mind, right? It's, it's, but it's, it's saying, all right, when I get to this place, when I get to, maybe not 95, when I get to 70 and I'm sitting on a beach in the grill, drinking a red stripe, um, and I'm looking back, what would I have wanted my life to have, check the box on,

[00:57:48] and then building goals off of that. 

[00:57:51] Ike Anderson: Mm-hmm. So if he was listening, what's one advice you would ask? What's [00:58:00] one question you would ask?

[00:58:06] Stephen A. Hart: Uh, it's so simple, but it's, it's, you know, what, what I, there it, it simply comes back to what really matters, right? Because

[00:58:21] today. I'm caught up in having to work, you know, to provide for the private school, to do the thing for the employer. And you look at, you know, all the things that we stress out about right now, in a hundred years from now, we're gonna be in a graveyard. Right. And what will have really mattered the most in your lifetime that somebody a hundred years from now can benefit from?

[00:58:54] What really matters? What, what's going to, yeah. What can I impart to my kids [00:59:00] that they're gonna impart to their grandkids? 

[00:59:02] Ike Anderson: So what would he say to you?

[00:59:08] Stephen A. Hart: Answer,

[00:59:12] uh, I don't know, Ike, it's still to be. Still to be. I, I feel like I'm still in that journey right now. Um, it's, it's a bet on, uh, you know, continuing to pour into my kids. It's not even the work side of things. Continue to invest in, in those two people that you, you help create so everything you can to pour into them.

[00:59:44] Yeah. So it still comes back to the bullseye and that it does it. Hundred percent does. On on both sides, right? 

[00:59:52] Ike Anderson: Yeah, 

[00:59:54] Stephen A. Hart: on both sides. Gotcha. Yeah, because I mean, everything we're doing, we're doing for our [01:00:00] kids, doing for the next, if you don't have kids, you're still doing it for the next generation, right?

[01:00:05] Mm-hmm. 

[01:00:07] Ike Anderson: Awesome, man. 

[01:00:08] Stephen A. Hart: Trailblazers was for them. Awesome. Awesome. That's a powerful question. You know, you harass me with that thought. That's something I'm

[01:00:19] pods to talk about

[01:00:23] Ike Anderson: That's, um, it's still a part of the clear, ultimate true north it. And if we can align with that higher, highest, older person, which is still an energy of us, that's been through all of this and have a relationship, I've find for myself, it's one of my mentors. And when I connect with, with, with, with Solomon, that nine, 5-year-old version, I like, I get [01:01:00] so much clarity because he's done it all, you know.

[01:01:05] So it just helps with where I'm at currently and my journey and, and knowing that, um. You know, he, he understands me better than anyone and, and, and he's just a part of my network as well that, that, that helps with the direction. Um, obviously God and family and everyone else a that too. So that's always, uh, interesting to hear people's connection with the future version of themselves, which is why I asked the question, 

[01:01:36] Stephen A. Hart: you know, you just put 95-year-old Stephen in the circle, in the bullseye.

[01:01:40] Ike Anderson: There you go. 

[01:01:42] Stephen A. Hart: That's awesome, man. That's such a gem. I appreciate that. Of course, ma'am. 

[01:01:48] Ike Anderson: But I appreciate your brother. Thank you so much for being, um, um, with me today and, um, your.[01:02:00] 

[01:02:02] Understand the value of consistency and following through. Appreciate you. Appreciate you, brother. Thank you. What an amazing conversation with Steven. His honesty about navigating the pressures of corporate life, health challenges and the emotional complexities of caring for his father was truly inspiring.

[01:02:24] Steven's courage to confront fear, resentment, and adversity head on reminded us all that even in our toughest moments, there's an opportunity for growth, healing, and transformation. Steven, thank you for sharing your heart, your wisdom, and your journey with us. You've given us so much to reflect on and so many powerful lessons to carry forward.

[01:02:48] Be sure to share it with someone who might need these insights right now. Let's keep the ripple lift inspiration going. I want to remind you about the Unmasking Effect membership community. This is [01:03:00] where the magic happens between episodes, a space for deeper connection, exclusive resources, and live events designed to help you take the lessons from these conversations we're having and turn them into action in your own life.

[01:03:15] To learn more, you can head to the unmasking effect.com. We'd love to have you a part of this growing community of seekers and change makers. Thank you for tuning in, for being part of this journey, and for showing up for yourself today. Keep on masking, keep growing, and keep believing in what's possible.

[01:03:36] I'll see you next week for another transformative episode of the Unmasking Effect. Peace.