Just Human

The Comfort Zone: A Barrier to Growth

• Jay Boykin • Season 1 • Episode 9

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Summary

In this episode of the Just Human Podcast, host Jay Boykin shares his personal journey of navigating job loss and embracing change. He discusses the concept of the comfort zone, the role of fear in transitions, and the importance of personal growth outside of familiar spaces. Jay emphasizes the need to leverage skills gained from corporate experiences while also providing practical steps for those considering a career transition. He concludes with a focus on finding freedom, purpose, and impact in his new venture, particularly in the areas of diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Takeaways

Jay discusses the importance of personal growth and leadership.

He shares his experience of being let go from a long-term job.

The comfort zone can hinder personal and professional growth.

Fear of failure often prevents people from leaving secure jobs.

True growth occurs outside of comfort zones.

Jay emphasizes the need for resilience in the face of challenges.

He highlights the skills gained from corporate experiences that can be leveraged in entrepreneurship. Practical steps for transitioning careers include assessing readiness and building a financial buffer.

Jay expresses his commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion in his new venture.

He encourages listeners to embrace change and seek growth.

Sound Bites

"I was comfortable, but not fulfilled."

"I was not happy or fulfilled with the job."

"I had to move forward."

"You can't let fear paralyze you."

"You need to prepare yourself financially."

"I can call myself whatever I want."

"I want to make a difference in the world."

"Change is not something that comes easy."

"Growth lives in that uncomfortable place."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Just Human Podcast

01:45 Navigating Personal Growth and Leadership

02:41 Facing Job Loss and Embracing Change

04:37 Understanding the Comfort Zone

13:11 The Role of Fear in Transition

20:08 The Importance of Growth Outside Comfort Zones

23:55 Leveraging Skills from Corporate Experience

27:05 Practical Steps for Transitioning Careers

31:54 Finding Freedom, Purpose, and Impact

38:20 Commitment to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

41:10 Conclusion and Call to Action

Keywords

personal growth, leadership, comfort zone, job loss, fear, transition, diversity, equity, inclusion, entrepreneurship, resilience

Jay (07:19.182)
Well, what is up everybody and welcome to the just human podcast I am Jay Boykin and I am your host We're doing something a little bit different today. We are actually testing out going live on Facebook and on YouTube So hopefully that's all working. If not, please excuse the the technical difficulties That's why we're testing it with this particular episode because we're do more of this next year

So if you are tuning in there, thank you very much. If you are listening to this or watching this later on your favorite podcast provider or on YouTube, thank you very much for giving me your time. Please be sure to subscribe, leave me a comment and let me know what you think. So the Just Human podcast talks about a lot of different topics. I spend time talking about

diversity, equity, and inclusion even in these crazy times. I talk about leadership and I talk about personal growth. And today we're really going to spend a lot of time talking about something that is focused on personal growth and even a little bit of leadership as well. But it's gonna be very personal for me.

today because I'm going to share some things that have happened here recently in my life and the things that are changing. And we're going to talk about getting outside of our comfort zone and how we can grow through that. So for those of you that may happen to be watching this either live or later on YouTube, I have to give a shout out to my

Sister-in-law who made this great shirt for me for my birthday with my my just human branding so Thank You sis for that. I had to rock that today for this episode so Let me kick this off today by saying that week before last I was Let go from the company that I have been with for nearly 14 years, so

Jay (09:41.954)
They eliminated my position and quite a few others. It wasn't just me. The company went through an acquisition and went through some changes and decided that they didn't need my position anymore. And so while this transition that I'm in was not something that I necessarily, I didn't initiate it.

I'm not upset and I'm not bitter about it either. It's something that I'm going to use as the launch pad for my next endeavor, for my next venture. And this is part of that. Doing this podcast and doing some of the other content that I've been focused on is part of that. So I will tell you that there are many people, myself included, who have

stayed at a job or you continue to stay at a job for a long time even though you weren't happy. And quite frankly, that's not unusual. There is a comfort zone that we'll get into a little bit later. And I want to spend a little bit of time talking about that comfort zone. Throughout the podcast, throughout this episode, you're going to hear me talk about corporate.

But this can apply no matter what type of job you're with. You don't have to be with a big corporation. It doesn't matter what type of company or sector you're with, what type of role you're in, it all applies. So I talked about the corporate comfort zone. And so what exactly is that comfort zone? So I want to call it

a familiar space and one that a lot of professionals you just get accustomed to, you get used to it. You get accustomed to the steady income. You get a paycheck that arrives at the same time every week, every two weeks, however you get paid. And that helps to provide, whether it's the size of the paycheck is where you want it to be or not.

Jay (12:05.282)
there is stability there and comfort knowing that every two weeks you're gonna get that paycheck. You get into your very predictable routines. So you've got a work schedule that is pretty much known and you've got expectations that are pretty well established and it really gives you a sense of order that

you know that, that you can just count on it's, it's a regular routine that, know, when you're getting up, you know, when you need to leave, or if you work from home, you know, when you need to make that trek to your home office. And so everything becomes very predictable and it becomes very comfortable. And when you're in your job, you have a role and hierarchies.

at the business that are for the most part clearly defined and it helps to provide clarity around what you're going to do, what your career trajectory is going to be. And so I spent over two decades in the corporate environment and I'll admit it, I was very comfortable. I had a good salary. I knew when I was going to get paid.

I got paid every two weeks like clockwork for nearly 25 years and I knew exactly how much I was going to receive. And even though my schedule was not entirely up to me, for the most part, I knew exactly what my routine was going to be and it was very predictable. And I will say this, that that comfort,

that predictability really came at the cost of exploring other opportunities and looking for things that might fulfill me differently in a deeper way. And I'm not alone. And even for those of you that are still working your job, there's a Gallup poll from 2022 that said that in the US specifically,

Jay (14:34.382)
50 % of workers reported feeling stressed at their jobs on a daily basis, 41 % as being worried, 22 % said that they were just sad at their job, and 18 % said that they were angry. A Forbes study said that the main reason that people stay in their jobs, jobs that they don't like,

is, and this may be something that you all know, but very predictably, it's around healthcare. Getting on a company health plan makes health insurance and other benefits much more affordable. And so this contributes to that comfort zone. People don't want to leave what they're doing because they don't want to think about paying for healthcare without that

that group health insurance. So you may not be happy with what you're doing, but it's what you know. Again, it's the comfort zone. So there's a lot of other factors that contribute to barriers to people leaving.

there are psychological and financial barriers to people leaving a job that they're comfortable with. So number one, there's fear of failure. Leaving a secure job for something that is uncertain can be really scary. Now a lot of times people may leave job A for job B.

but they make sure that job B is in place before they let folks know that they're leaving the job A. It's not often that people will leave a job and say, hey, I'm out. I have no idea what I'm gonna do, but I'm out.

Jay (16:47.936)
Another factor that is psychological and this was a big one for me as well is your identity can be tied to your work and tied to the titles that you have. Many of us think that our self-worth is wrapped around the title that we have and the money that we make.

And that can make it very difficult for us to leave those roles. So that's another part too. Another one that falls under psychological is loss aversion. It is natural to fear losing what we have more than valuing what we could potentially gain.

So as we start to think about losses and gains, we have to transition into the financial aspect. So again, I alluded to this earlier. There is the dependence on a steady income. Losing a regular paycheck is, that's a significant adjustment for people like myself that have been used to getting.

regular paycheck for a very long time. There's other corporate perks. I mentioned the health insurance. You've got retirement contributions. You've got vacation time. All of these other things that get tied to a steady job and sometimes those can be difficult to replace. for some, thinking about transitioning into

doing their own business like I'm focusing on. Transitioning to entrepreneurship means many times a temporary drop in income and that can feel very overwhelming. And so I'll be honest with you, I was comfortable in the job that I had, but I wasn't necessarily

Jay (19:11.47)
happy or fulfilled with the job that I had, my identity was very much tied to the job title. You know, when I received the title of vice president, that was a big deal for me. And I valued all of the things that came with that title and the money and the perks and everything else. And even though I was not

Personally feeling very fulfilled and I wasn't 100 % happy with what I was doing I still it took a push out of Where I was that I didn't take a leap of faith at the time it took a push and so you know, I I Needed that but now that I'm here

Now that I've received that push, am channeling all of my energy into my new venture. Now, I mentioned earlier that fear is a part of it, and I will tell you that fear is very real. I would be lying to you if I said that I wasn't afraid.

on this new path. And if you go out and you Google the word fear, you will find literally hundreds of quotes by many famous people on the topic of fear. And most will end with something to the tune of you can't let it paralyze you.

you have to move forward. And I was thinking about this as I was doing my final prep for the episode. And it reminded me of a story from my college years. Now, for those of you that know me, I put myself through college working at a zoo. Yes.

Jay (21:40.302)
I was a zookeeper, not the most glamorous gig on the face of the planet, but I mean, it was fun. There were aspects of it that were fun, but it definitely was not glamorous, but it gave me the flexibility and schedule and time to study and go to class. So that part of it was actually really good. But when I started at the zoo,

I was on the large cat exhibit, so tigers and lions and jaguars and cheetahs, all of that. It was actually kind of cool. early in my time there, I was being trained by another zookeeper who had been there for a while. And

he would tell me about these routines and all of the things that you have to do to be safe. And there was this one particular day when this guy's name was Greg. Greg was running late and somebody, we needed to get the exhibits ready to go. And so they sent me down there. I'd been there for a couple of weeks. They figured I knew enough to...

stay out of trouble. And so I went down there and got started before Greg was there to keep an eye on me. And so one of the first things when you go in to clean these exhibits, you have to secure the animals back in their den while you go out into the exhibit. there's two things that you have to make sure. A, you have to make sure that

the door between their den and the exhibit is securely closed. And you also have to make sure that all of the animals are accounted for. Well, I went to clean the jaguar exhibit and there were three jaguars in there, one male, two females. And I number one, I made sure that the door

Jay (24:02.284)
between the den and the exhibit was closed. Number two, I didn't account for all of the animals. And so I walked into the exhibit and I started doing my thing and picking up and cleaning all of that stuff. And I went to leave, I turned around and there is the male jaguar sitting on

this hill in the exhibit and he's looking at me like he seems to be as freaked out now as I am. And so I froze, which I think was natural. I froze in that moment. And now I'm really afraid and starting to freak out. Well, here's the thing. He is between

me and the exit and I can't go backwards because backwards is fence and bars and moat that I can't jump and so I had no choice but to go forward and so I very slowly and intentionally walked

forward while steering clear of him as much as I could. And because he was as freaked out as I was, he just watched me as I walked out the door and locked it and then broke down in tears. But here's the point of that story.

In that moment, I was very afraid, but I had to move forward. And in this moment, as I think about this transition into a new venture, are there days that I'm afraid? Yes. But I can't go backwards. I have no choice but to go forward. And so that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to very deliberately and intentionally

Jay (26:25.652)
move forward. And so here we go. Another thing as we think about doing something different and

getting out of that normal comfort zone that all of us live in is the topic of growth. True growth does not happen in a place where we are comfortable. It doesn't happen in a place where we are safe. It happens when we

get into a space where we are uncomfortable, where we are being challenged, and there's a little bit of uncertainty. And here's why stepping outside of your comfort zone is really essential. So first of all, I think that it sparks creativity and innovation. It forces you to think about

things differently and to find some new solutions and some new ways to go about doing things. I have been watching, let me back up. I have a couple of really good mentors and models that I can try to emulate. So my wife and my

best friend slash brother-in-law are both business owners. And I have been watching each of them for years do their thing and build their business and do the grind and go through times of uncertainty and they just get up and they keep doing it. And I've watched each of them grow into amazing

Jay (28:32.706)
business owners and leaders and entrepreneurs. So I've watched them innovate and make changes to the way that they do things and grow personally. So that's a good thing for me is that I have people in my life that I can model and I have people in my life that I can ask questions and I have many people in my life that can support me. But you know,

Getting outside of this comfort zone, it sparks innovation. It also builds resilience. Again, watching my wife and my brother-in-law deal with the uncertainty of their businesses, they handle some of the day-to-day setbacks that they might receive. And it just...

seems like it doesn't bother them at all. Now, I know that it does, but they don't have time to sit around and have a pity party. They've built up thick skin and are moving forward. And so they learn how to be more confident in how they handle some of these setbacks. And a final thing that I think is important as we move outside of this

uncomfortable place is that you begin to discover some hidden talents and some passions that may have been dormant when you were in your previous role in your previous job, so again, no one grows when they are comfortable and I'm very uncomfortable right now, but it's gonna be a good thing and I'm going to focus on that discomfort

and I'm going to lean on my support system and I'm going to focus on getting a little bit better every single day and everything is going to be great. Another thing that I've realized is even though I was in the corporate space for two and a half decades,

Jay (30:55.05)
There are many skills and experiences that I learned in those spaces that I can leverage as I build my own business. I'm not starting 100 % from ground zero. I'm not starting from scratch.

There are many things that I learned in my corporate roles that can be foundational for my future success. So for example, I had the privilege of being able to work with, hire, manage, and mentor many great people and develop some great leaders. Those skills are going to transition into my new business.

I worked on a lot of projects, I had to meet deadlines, I had responsibilities on a daily, weekly, quarterly, yearly basis that I had to meet and I know how to do those things. I just get to do them for myself now. I was really good in my previous role at solving problems and those critical thinking skills will also translate into

entrepreneurial challenges. And then finally, there's networking. I, over the years, have had the opportunity to build a great network of wonderful individuals, both personally and professionally, that I will be able to lean on and seek guidance and

all the other things that people need when you start a new business. So if you are someone who is going to think about transitioning into a different role, especially something that is entrepreneurial, there are many things that you have learned in your jobs in the corporate world that

Jay (33:16.416)
you'll be able to take those skills with you. can't take that away from you. So if you are someone who is thinking about transitioning into...

a business that you want to start for yourself. I think that unlike some people, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Again, my transition wasn't something that I decided to initiate. But if you are really thinking about that, I would encourage you to look at some practical steps that can help you do it.

more strategically. So I think that the first thing is you need to assess your readiness. And what I mean by that is to reflect on your motivations and your goals for wanting to do something different. You know, again, as I mentioned, many times people...

will go from one job to another job and they hated the last job and they might hate the new job as well. So figure out what it is that you think that you wanna do. If you want to do something that feels more meaningful, leaves a legacy, perhaps makes the world a slightly better place, then those can be part of your motivations and be part of your goals.

Number two, if you have time to prepare, then make sure that you build a financial buffer. When you go to start a business or even if you transition from working for a for-profit company and you want to go to work for a non-profit, you might end up having to take a pay cut. So you need to prepare yourself

Jay (35:28.386)
financially for either covering your expenses during the transition or being able to deal with a potential pay cut that you might take. Number three, develop your skills. If you have time while you are still working your other job, then invest in some new skills that you might need for your business. You might have to go back to school. You might have to look for

certification or other types of training that are relevant to that next chapter that you want to write. Number four, start small. Again, if you have the opportunity to ease into this, then test your ideas as a side hustle before you

fully commit and jump in up to your eyeballs in your next full-time endeavor. So again, if you have the opportunity to do it, test it, make it a side hustle, and you can learn some things, and maybe you have to make some adjustments as you go. And then number five, make sure that you have the support that you need in your life. So,

Make sure that you have a network of mentors that can help you. Make sure if you have a spouse or partner, family, friends, make sure that you have that support system in place because this journey won't be easy. But the better support system that you have, the easier it's going to be.

So again, my transition wasn't 100 % my own doing. I didn't have the opportunity to leave on my own terms, but I've really been preparing mentally for a while. And so that preparation is making this a little bit less daunting. Don't get me wrong, I still feel like I'm...

Jay (37:54.658)
being chased out by that jaguar. But I'm very confident. I'm moving forward with a smile on my face and confident. So I will tell you, there are things that I can see already, even though it's been a very short period of time. There are some things that I'm already starting to realize are

rewards to doing something that is my own. So number one, there's a lot of freedom. I get up every day and every choice that I make is 100 % about me, my family, and my business. And so every appointment that I put on my calendar,

is mine. Every decision that I make, every book that I read, every learning video that I might take in that particular day is all about trying to get better for my business and again for my family.

The second reward is about purpose. You know, I'm not going to bad mouth the company that I left. I will just say this. It was really hard for me to align all of my personal values with the mission of that company. But...

The things that I am choosing to work on every day are things that are meaningful to me and things that bring me happiness. And I feel like they're building my legacy. And that's the third one is impact. You get to create a legacy that really reflects your vision and your priorities and the things that you stand for. So freedom.

Jay (40:16.302)
purpose and impact. Those are the three things that I'm already starting to feel those things. And so I've mentioned on other episodes of the podcast that I am in the fourth quarter of my career. And I feel like this is the perfect time for me to focus on work that excites me and focus on

doing some things that I feel will leave a lasting impact. So again, it's not about titles anymore. It's my business. I can call myself whatever I want. I can be the CEO, the COO, the chairman of the board, whatever the case may be. I can have whatever title that I want, but it is about creating something meaningful and it is about putting in the work.

that is required to be successful. So I will share another story with you. When I was younger, my body's too old to do it now. When I was younger, used to love to play basketball. And in my high school years, I was not,

great at playing basketball at all because I'd spent so much time focusing on playing football. And so after high school, we moved from Texas to Louisiana and I would go to a playground near my grandmother's house and pretty much happens at every playground around America and probably around the world. If you're going to

a pickup game of basketball, the first game is typically getting decided by shooting free throws. So it's either the first two people that make free throws get to pick teams or the first five people who make a free throw are on one team and the second five are on the other team. And everybody who missed sat out and they had to wait until that first game was over. Well, for me,

Jay (42:41.642)
I always had to sit out because I could not shoot free throws to save my life and I would always miss. And honestly, I couldn't shoot hoops very well at all at that time. So even when I did get in the game, I wasn't getting the ball because everybody there knew I couldn't shoot. So I had to focus on other things. I just had to rebound and try to play defense. So I decided that

I was tired of being the person who was always sitting out of the first game. So I would go with my brother and we would go to the park and I would shoot free throws constantly, just free throw after free throw after free throw. And then when I got tired of doing that, I would put up jump shots. I would practice my layups and I would be out there for hours. Now,

Two great things came out of that. Number one, me and my younger brother bonded and we are, as I've mentioned in other podcast episodes, we're super close. And he's part of that support system that I mentioned earlier. And we have an unusually close relationship for siblings. But number two, I got really good at shooting free throws and I got really good at pretty much

shooting anything that I wanted to. You go out there and you rinse and repeat every day and shoot hundreds of shots, you're gonna get better. And so when I would go to the park, I was on one of those first teams. And when I was playing in those games, the ball was in my hands because people knew that I could shoot. I taught myself how to do it.

How does that relate to what I'm talking about now as I work on these entrepreneurial skills, as I focus on my business, it's all about new habits and it's all about doing the right things every single day and trying to get a little bit better every single day. And much like I did on that basketball court, I'm going to get better and I'm going to win. And I feel the same thing is going to

Jay (45:06.36)
come into play for my business. I'm gonna get better and I'm gonna win, I have no doubt. So I just wanted to say that my new venture,

is really focused on things that are really meaningful to me. I want to make a difference in the world and in the lives of people. spent the last several years of my career focusing on diversity, equity, and inclusion. And there are a lot of people out there that are attacking DE &I. And I think that because of that,

I need to stand firm and continue to have these conversations and continue to talk to people about why it actually matters and why it makes a difference. So even though it is under attack and facing a lot of challenges, I'm going to continue to talk about it. I'm going to continue to focus on that work. so whether it is through consulting,

whether it is through helping individuals with personal growth, leadership development, mentoring, DENI strategy. Those are the things that I am good at and I'm gonna continue to focus on that. The other thing that I'm working on is my speaking business. I have always enjoyed speaking and I'm going to...

continue to focus on building that part of my business as well and having the opportunity and privilege to get in front of people and give them important messages that they want to hear and in some cases they need to hear. So again, starting this business was not my own.

Jay (47:11.7)
idea necessarily. Well, let me take that back. It was my idea to start this business, but going into it full time was not my doing 100%. But I'm very excited to take this leap and I'm going to work hard every single day. And so I'll be sharing more details about my journey in future episodes of the podcast and on my blog. So stay tuned. So

As we wrap this up, just want to say that change is not something that comes easy to most people. It definitely does not come easily to this person. But that being said, I'm very excited about this new journey that I'm on. So I just want to thank you for joining me on this very personal episode of

just human. If this story resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone or reach out and let me know if you're thinking about your own transition. Let's talk about it. I'd love to hear from you and we can talk about some of those things together. But in the meantime, I just want to say again, thank you for listening and until next time, just remember growth lives in

that uncomfortable place. lives outside of your comfort zone. So let's just embrace it.