The Latest: Poly, Breakups & Sex as a Crutch

Hi my darling babes! After my first time being broken up with (yes, ever), I’ve been catapulted out of my hoe-era polyamory adventures and straight into a season of celibacy.

The juicy updates: 

✨ The surprising relief I felt in my breakup
✨ Why my soul has been craving monogamy even while my human self wanted poly
✨ How sex became my go-to crutch for avoiding discomfort
✨ The edgy (and uncomfortable) medicine of celibacy and home-building
✨ How this ties into the Well-Fcked Frequency* — the magnetic energy that has nothing to do with sex

This is a raw, unscripted life update straight from my heart to yours — the messy, the magnetic, and the medicine I’m learning in real-time.

Intuitive readings: https://calendly.com/yennhihoang/30min

Well-F*cked Frequency starting Sept 8:  https://yennhi-hoang.mykajabi.com/the-well-f-cked-frequency-a4e0d0f5-63c9-4aaa-aa63-dec8ecdd7375

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hi babes, welcome back to the Erotically Embodied Woman podcast. Zenni here, of course, and this is 1000% one of those moments where I was not planning on recording a podcast episode and then suddenly an idea plopped into my head and then here we are just going for it, which is very classic Zenni style. If you know me, I will often just get an idea and run with it. And it's been interesting because there's absolutely this balance between running with my excitement, running with inspiration, but also be discerning when it's time to let the excitement fade a little bit before I make a decision because side note with intuition, anything that we feel super emotional about, it's actually not intuition, even excitement, right? Like even if we're angry or sad or whatever it is, right? Like excitement is included in the emotional realm that if we feel really overly elated about something that also manipulates what we think is our intuition. And I wasn't planning on telling you this right now, but we're just, we're here. So I'm going to tell you is that it's wild in that there have been so many times in my life lately where I have intuitively tested things that I feel really excited about, like going to a dance class, if it's going to make me happy, if it's going to be aligned with my energy levels that day. And when I get a really low number, meaning I test things on a scale of zero to 100, and if anything's less than like 93%, it's a no for me. And in those moments, things that I logically am so excited about, but they test really low on the things I'm testing, I will end up saying no to them. And then later on intuitively, I'm like, oh my God, thank goodness that I did that because in real life, what ended up happening was so much better than if I spent the time going to this class. And so anyway, that was a total, total side tangent on a little intuition mini lesson. But regardless, right now, this is a inspiration from Zeni Moment to get to give you some life updates about where I've been at the last little bit, which if you've been here on my podcast, you know that I have this relationship with my podcast where it's very much so created from inspiration. Like I think when I first started, I had a much more consistent schedule last year, but honestly, I love getting to be fully in my feminine when it comes to the podcast, because I find that what pours through is exactly what is meant to be heard. And I'm recording this today on a September 3rd of 2025. And it is absolutely madness to think that is of September already, because I remember thinking the fact that it was turned 2025 was wild. The fact that we are nine months into a nine year, especially, which is interesting because overall 2025 is known as a numerology nine year, which if you don't know, means that it's all about endings and completions of cycles. So that way, when we go into the next year, a lot has been cleared out to make room for what is in the most alignment. And it's wild because September is specifically also a nine month, right? So it is just on steroids that the level of endings we're also in the midst of an eclipse cycle and this will lead us into some of my life updates that have been going on about a little over two weeks ago you all have known that I have been in a polyamorous dynamic situation had multiple lovers partners was in the ultimate ho phase summer and that was a blast and about two weeks ago that my I I'm gonna say primary relationship not because we necessarily use that language in the poly world some people you use primary partners. Some people don't based on if they're doing a hierarchical or non-hierarchical situation. But anyway, this person I would consider just my primary partner in that they were my main partner of energy and time in terms of consistency, but there were also other lovers that I was connecting with, dating, growing relationships, experiencing physical intimacy with, and exploring all sorts of different levels of connection with. And about two weeks ago, which when I say two weeks, it sounds like that's a very short period of time, but actually in the linear world, maybe yes, but in Zeni land, that is so much could happen in two weeks. And I feel like those individual two weeks that have happened since the breakup have totally transformed me and catapulted me in a completely different timeline and direction that is in my absolute highest timeline. And so I'm excited to share more about the behind the scenes about what has come up for me through this experience. And long story short, this person, it was our very first time that I got broken up with in my life. Like I have always been the breaker upper with and so it was a very new experience and it was fascinating because I honestly felt such a level of relief come over me in this experience not because I did not care for this person or enjoy our connection but it was that I think my soul knew that there was a different path for me ahead and I knew this about me a couple months ago and even longer that my soul at its core desires to be monogamous and it's really tricky because on a human level I felt really drawn to to polyamory and to explore this and I absolutely even while I was doing it knew that it was not in my highest timeline that it would push out my timeline of meeting my actual soul compliment I still chose to engage with it anyway and I grew massively through this experience like I could not even believe it like I remember a couple days before the breakup happened I remember thinking I feel like the lessons that I am meant to learn within polyamory are complete which is fucking wild because there's only a couple months and that is how fast that I role in the linear time realm is just a lot can really get ignited for me and activated in a way that really I received the lessons I meant to and so it was wow so when he broke up with me then you know I still had other lovers that I was connecting with and then I just felt more and more the sense of oh I really think this season of my life is meant to be celibate which is extremely extremely uncomfortable for my human self like I had an intuitive reading from a dear friend Klein. I had other intuitive friends reach out to me where they were like, Zenny, we love you. We fully support anything that you do. And your higher self is literally screaming at me through the phone to give you this message. And all of it was very much so related to like doing the multiple partnership thing is not in my highest line, which I knew that too. But I think my human self at the time was so attached to it still and really enjoying it. Like I absolutely loved my time in polyamory. Like it did not leave me with the sour taste whatsoever in terms of that like I've talked to a lot of people who have tried polyamory who are like oh my god it was terrible never again but I had absolutely stellar experiences within it and I also think that partly is because I was a match to receiving really great experiences and people that were much more healing and catapulting me into deeper into myself rather than it being a for lack of better words right now traumatic experience but anyway so I over the you next several days of this time period I am just like trying to get my human on board because not only was it be celibate it was also focus a lot of time and energy into the home and some of you know this about me that I am just not a home babe like and this is an identity that I'm open to shifting but like I do not typically enjoy cooking cleaning like I am much more in my masculine and that like I would far prefer to have a partner who was home and enjoy doing those things then and then me be the one to go off and financially provide it's super interesting in my human design chart I have a channel specifically about how I am meant to it's called the money channel it's basically this desire and urge to be the one to provide financially for a community which I absolutely feel and to share wealth with people and so it's fascinating because I very much so identify as being in my feminine and desiring that in my life and I also have this providership energy within me that has honestly really surprised me over the last maybe like year year and a half as I have acknowledged this within me but anyway so during this time anyway oh yeah so we're back at like the home stuff right that's also an edge for me like there's so many things lately that have come up where I'm like are you fucking kidding me like it is all my most like uncomfortable things that I quote unquote don't like on a human level but my soul deeply desires and so here we are doing the damn thing and I then over the last two weeks I've really gotten more on board with this time and as I I have dove in deeper into a celibacy of pulling back a lot of sexual connections also not dating really at all besides one person who I have been connecting with but it's wild because this person if you are listening to this hi but I found out that this person has also been in a six-month like celibate period so far and it really was cool for me because when I first brought up the you know I'm gonna be celibate thing I you know it's a little nerve-wracking because I think I had a lot of beliefs around people would just want to be with me for sex, even though I, for the most part, really understood that it was me and who I am that was attracted to people. Like I also could feel sexual energy from people and had this little subtle belief of like, oh, are you treating me this well because of the potential for sex with me or physical intimacy? And so with this person, when they shared with me that they were also celibate, I just absolutely melted. I was like, oh my God, I feel just so open to exploring connections that don't involve that which is for me honestly really uncomfortable because like I most definitely feel a sense of validation that comes from when men are so into me and like it's been fascinating because majority of the men that I have connected with have a very you're so sexy and hot and beautiful energy and to connect with someone who calls me cute as the primary compliment was very different because it really brought up for me this opportunity to deepen into more of my wow like I am able to source my own sense of sexiness and attractiveness from within rather than relying from other people to tell me and that is really what I have been believing and leaning into is that the things that we desire from other people are always going to be sourced from within first our own sense of safety, our own sense of pleasure, our joy, our sense of aliveness must be cultivated from within. And our reality will only reflect that rather than it being the other way around. And it's fascinating because this breakup happened while I was in the midst of a launch for The Well Fucked Frequency, which is my eight-week program. It's starting next Monday, September 8th. And it's wild because I created this program because I was seriously in my well-fucked era, literally. In turn, of sex, I was thriving, like just having the time of my life. And so that is what the program was inspired from was like, oh my God, like I'm attracting and magnetizing such incredible men, experiences, elite men who blew my mind. And I then, even while I was launching the program, had very much so the messaging of like the well fuck frequency and tapping into that energy is not about sex. It is about your own magnetism and the embodiment of this energy that that just pulls people to you and not just pulls people, but money opportunities. Like it's this magnetic, just juicy girl energy that people can't help, but drool all over you, you know, vibe. But I was like, this is not about sex, even though the program is called the well fucked frequency. Right. And now that I got broken up with during this program, it's wild because every single time I launch a program or a masterclass, it pulls me into the deepest into of the program itself like when I launched my the art of the villain workshop a couple months ago holy shit nothing pulled me deeper into integrity by actually embodying the villain by pushing myself to speak my most edgiest truths online that got me super unfollowed and the well-fucked frequency is doing the same thing for me where it is this own entity that is pulling me deeper into myself where I am deepening my practice of knowing that it is me who I am you even without the validation from men or other people that have gotten to create this version of me that is juicy and magnetic and alive in life. And that is the true power of the well fuck frequency is that we don't need to rely on other people to create that for us. The second that we outsource us, that is when we give away our power because the second that that person ebbs or flows or is busy, then we get all panicky about it versus knowing deeply from within that you are hot, sexy, attractive, magnetic, valuable, special. without needing to rely on other people for that. And if you're interested, the WellFuck Frequency Program is eight weeks. It starts on Monday, September 8th. It is six pre-recorded modules. So that way that you can do that on your own time that fits into your life. It will be like this, like a podcast format in terms of video or audio. And so that way you could just take it along with you. I wanted it to be as easeful as possible because I know a lot of moms listen to my work and are interested. And so I wanted it be easeful in that it's not like you have to sit in front of a computer watching all the time. But then there will be two live practice calls, which the things that I am cooking up for these practice calls are so juicy. I cannot wait to be live guiding you through a practice that for me, it's the embodiment piece that is crucial. And that is what I love about the well thought frequency is that sure, yeah, we do a lot of energetic internal work, but a lot of it is the physical embodiment. And that is really what I see a lot of people missing when they do quote unquote the work or their healing or growing is that their physical actions don't catch up fully to the energetic and so for me there will be a lot of dares that I drop throughout the program that get to elevate you into this version and so really it's my babes who are meant to be part of this program are the ones who hear that and are like oh that sounds kind of scary actually but I love it actually at the same time like they're kinky for the edginess they're kinky for the discomfort they're kinky for the transformation that comes when we push our edges rather than being the one who hears like I'm going to dare you to do certain things, which again, you have sovereignty of choosing yes or no. But knowing that when you dive deeper, your transformation is only as deep as where you push yourself to go. And so I am just jazzed to work with the babes who are in the program because those are my kind of babes, the ones who hear edgy and they go, yes, please, rather than no, thank you. Not for me. Love that for you, sis. Right. But so I want to circle back. I want to circle back to more about what's been coming up for me and something really interesting is that when I was in my intuitive reading initially receiving one from a sis who really like brought forth to me the celibacy need from my soul level she was like I can read your thoughts and your thoughts are constantly like I just want to get fucked I just gotta get fucked I just gotta get fucked and it is so real and true like I noticed that while as much as I was having fun with sex it also became a crutch where then like anytime I was feeling discomfort or pullback from one person, I could just go find another person. I could go and not even just find, but I could just attract another people. Like I had a endless stream of high quality men who wanted to care for me and take me out. And then, yes, I chose to engage sexually with some of them, few of them, but some that I did. And there was no lack in my mind of being able to receive that. But the issue is that when I did that one, it was really hard for me emotionally after. Yes, it was fun during, but the emotional connection that I just automatically build when I am having sex with someone particularly just wrecked me for days especially when it was more casual encounters with people and I am still working through some of that now with some people who I had sex with once and never heard from again you know like it was it's just a lot for me on the energetic level and but the really not great part of it is if I'm relying upon sex to be okay to avoid some of my emotions even though as someone who I I am fairly confident in my own abilities to hold my emotions and be with them, even the grimiest, muckiest of them all, I was personally drawn to sex as a way to escape in many ways. And now being in a celibate period, it really has forced me to be the one to hold myself in discomfort rather than outsourcing and dispersing my energy to other people. And that is truly the beauty of the well thought frequency is being able to hold ourselves. A huge part of it is going to be emotional mastery making emotions you're a bitch where then they are it's not in a oh like emotions are a bad energy way it's more of a how can I alchemize and create art out of my emotions where then they become something that fuel me rather than something that I want to suppress and ignore like I can even tell you I feel like one of the number one issues I ran into as a therapist is people who did not like their emotions they were afraid of them they wanted to suppress them and Jesus how many physical symptoms that I see pop up from that right and so I am just in this really beautiful expansive era of my life where I've been pouring a lot of energy into myself my own hobbies my home building my zenny den is what I've been calling it where I've actually been experiencing a lot more joy from it and it's been wild because I can see in my physical reality how much something like a shift of that can ripple into my life where the ways that people are treating me or even at the higher level people are celebrating me more people are interested in my work at even higher level. It has just been absolutely incredible to see the levels of my own self-love get reflected back to me. And I am just jazzed to continue deepening my own practice just for myself and in itself. But also, yes, like I get to manifest and create even more in my life that is in the deepest of alignment with my soul, which is where I'll be the most fulfilled. Right. And so I am just just incredibly honored to be witnessed by so many of you So many of you followed my journey along here for a long time and I am grateful. Thank you. And what I really want to end on is another offering to you of a way that I would love to support you is that I offer these one-on-one intuitive readings where we can dive deep into actually how to manifest the things that you want to create, whether that be more soul line clients, money, a promotion, the love, the whatever it is, like all of those things require ingredients for us to create and manifest. And the fastest way to do that is through intuition, where I can look exactly what is missing for you, how long it will take for you to apply it, energetic things, physical actions to take. And so it's a slam dunk of a session where you get to leave with actionable items that will completely change your life, where then you get to create these fast quantum leap shifts in your life that you are craving to feel, where you don't have to waste a ton of time and energy trying a ton of different things and yada yada, right? But when you can get it straight to the heart of calling in what you want. And that is the chef's kiss ultimately. So if you are interested in that, I would love to support you. We get to chat about if things that you want to call in are human desires or soul desires because they are different, right? It's hard to tell. It's hard to tell without intuition because as a human, we're quite convincing to ourselves. And there's so much more that we can do in sessions that I just absolutely love doing. They light my heart on fire to blend sensuality Intuition, manifestation, embodiment all in one. And it is the ultimate Zenny package. So I would be so honored if you are interested in any of these offerings, the well-fucked frequency starting next Monday or the intuitive readings and or the intuitive readings. I will leave both of them in the show notes here. And until next time, I can't wait to connect with you. If you listen to this episode, please drop me a DM at wild underscore womanhood. I would love to chat with you about something that just stuck out to you, something that you're like, huh, like I want to take this way or this moment really stuck out to me or this inspired me to think this way about my situation like I would fucking love to hear from you so hit me up slide into my dms and talk to you soon babe